"SQUATS AND BENCH BANGS!" w/ Rob Benedict and Gareth Reynolds

This Rose. My name is Ronald Marine, coming to you from my mom's boogie apartment in New York City with me today. I mean, these are two of my faves. These are two hunky gentlemen. These are two hilarious gentlemen. Our first gentle him. He took a swing at love last year at the birthday bachelorette um. He sleeps in a sarcophagus upside down in a cave. He doesn't quite

know how to pronounce my name. He has been undead for thousands of years, and yes, even as a vampire, he still wears a sporty jean and a pirate shirt. But you might know him as an actor, a podcast host, a host of the incredibly popular podcast With the Dollar. He was a writer on Arrested Development, he's a writer on You're the Worst, and right now he's a writer

on the adult swim Real Crackers. He's also a brilliant stand up who is on tour and you can find all of his tour dates on his uh Instagram page, probably or a leaked to his website, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dracula Garrett's Rental. Hello Dracula, how are you, Harry? I should not be up as too early, I burn. I see you got a lot of work done. Yes, yes, yes, yes much both dogs. Um. I don't know. It's weird because you introduced me in the character and then the Gareth.

So I'm in character. I guess I like a character. What What part of the world have you been right now? Character? California, United States? I'm not familiar with exotic It's it's it's only the world's sixth largest economy, so d yeah take it. Yeah, take that Sweden or Finland. Um, and yes, I am not on tour, but I have a special coming out soon and I'll be announcing that. So follow me at Reynolds Gareth on Instagram and Twitter to find out that

stuff that's all coming out soon. Have you recorded it yet? M h I'm editing it right now. Did it go well? I bet it did. It's a nightmare. It's not good. A lot of money gone. I love that. That's good. That's what I'm here for Portland. That's so cool. M hm, yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, speaking it was so cool. There was a man with a haircut. I'm sorry, he's looking cuter than ever. Uh you know from super Natural? Uh, you know him from Lucifer, but most importantly you know

him as that sort of the year through two? Really ever find love? Robbie b b Robbie better day? Are you? Hey? Guys? Probably to be back with my favorite Gareth Reynolds. I love you back, Robbie. You broke the internet last week. Not cool. Yeah, there was a photo that Gareth was showing us beforehand. You gotta you gotta make over. What happened? Yeah? I have a job right now and they needed to shave all my hair off. So they shaved all my hair off and my beard off. How does that feel? Um?

I feel just like a little baby boo. Just a little baby b we nervous about getting it shaved off for sure. Yeah, it was because my hair was pretty long and and you know my that's always my goal is to grow my hair as long as possible. Like I want to be able to like do this, tuck it behind my ears and be like yes, if you work too much, they won't the business will not let it grow. The business not gonna let it. Yeah, but it feels like it turned out. Really. Have you gotten

a positive reaction from the interweb? Yeah, people seem to like it. Okay, that's nice, that's exciting. Yeah. Yes, Also with us is seven hundred and seventy seven comments anyway, sorry, go ahead, seven seven comments Sign of the devil with seven go ahead. Okay. Well well well okay, so he's

downplaying it always jamurring, which is only secure. Okay. Well, I'm about to make an announcement, Okay, after I first, and I have to bring in our queens, the wind beneath my wings, without whom I could not do this. I'm gonna go backwards order. We have a woman who I have to say I thought of this morning. So I thought, am I registered to vote? I assume I

am and then, but she says it every time. Dr Katie Levine, I went online somehow I'm not I registered this mor Did you go to vote dot gov and you can check to see if you're registered, and you can register and then you can find your polling place and make sure you get your ballot. Yeah, that's exactly what I did because I thought of you, because I saw somebody talking about I thought, well, I assume. I mean, I've always voted, but I'm like, sometimes dude, like I mean,

sometimes you just like get on. It can happen, though, I should always check. I got unregistered and I registered this morning, thanks because of you, because I was going to see you. I'm so glad. Anyone else out there, you should have received your ballot already. If you did, go to vote dot gov and check to see there's Rob's ballot, there's Anna's ballot. I didn't get one yet. Mine is mine is on my desk, as Gareth is only money. I mean, I think some people do that.

That's my guy. Oh wow. Yes, but please vote, please vote in the upcoming elections. And like I said last week, if you live in l A, don't vote for Rick Crusoe, and don't not to vote for Caruso. Don't vote no, don't listen to all the ads that right, Verry Merrodi said Los Angeles last night. Isn't it crazy that the person with the most ads people are like seems pretty good?

It's that simple. Yeah, scary. So with us is a woman that I'm about to have the I literally just my body just went crazy, and I'm about the most exciting slumber party weekend. We're having a fucking extravagance. She's flying in New York. We're going to we got v I P passes to Bravo con on friend where we're gonna go see the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills below deck.

We're gonna see page to Sorbo from Summer House. Then on Saturday, I got invited by Andy Cohen to perform on the Don't Be Tardy stage doing a staged reading of a classic Real Housewives of New York City episode with Susan Lucci and Rachel Lindsay, the Bachelor at and Michael Rappaport. I'm gonna play Sonya Morrigan. I bought a Sonya by Sonia Morrigan dress, and it's gorgeous. Is gorgeous and then on Sunday we're doing our live Oh that reminds me. I'm gonna text my friend to see if

she's coming. We're doing a live We're doing our live podcast at Union Hall because we get a couple of comps and so if there's if my friend isn't using her as, we're gonna raffle them off because we have a lot of So we're gonna we're going to message people. We know you guys want to come, and we might have like four seats available. So um, we're gonna do a little like uh, we'll do it in the next day or two. Well, so does email us if you're

dying to come. Well, also, I have a bunch of people in my d m s and I also want to say, if you need to get rid of your tickets, please message me. People are willing to buy your tickets full price. Baby will come through, So just let me know if you want to sell your tickets hot. So here's we we sold. We sold out in twenty four hours. So here's the deal. Here's my announcement. And the tickets

are not up yep. But we are officially doing another fully improvised season of the Bachelor where I'm the Bachelorette as a present to me my birthday, Saturday, December ten, We're gonna do it Friday night, December nine at Dynasty Typewriter to kick off the birthday the birthday festivities. We're gonna do an entire improvised season of The Bachelorette on stage. Gareth is going to be there, Rob is going to

be there. I can't wait. Katie and Anna are going to be there, and we're going to announce there's a potential that Lance Bass might be competing for my God, like I'm just saying, so we start, we will let you know when you can get your tickets, but we're gonna still also probably do a moment how situation where but we need to sell it out so we can prove that we can go on tour. So don't make me get my real estate license, because if we don't sell it out, I'm gonna have to quit everything and

get my real estate license. So it's gonna but they're not up yet, but just like start making plans. It will probably be around seven o'clock Dynasty Typer Friday December night in Los Angeles. Okay, you guys here we go, so wants to discuss it's weird that paradise in October? Do you agree? Yeah, it's weird, but yeah, especially that's exactly how I feel. It's weird any time. Yeah, yeah, it's weird any time. So here we are. Teddy has just left. Just as a reminder, Rodney's roaming around me,

like where's Teddy? Um? She ended things with Andrew and left, and uh, Rodney is just upset, wants to make sure that she's okay. And Rodney decides not to ask anybody on a date. He's staying in tonight. Um, you know. Overall, I mean, it's so hard to even break down four hours of entertainment. Do we just want to pick a couple and then I'll try to find like do should we just what? I'd to start with a big player so it doesn't take forever. Let's start. Let's up to me.

I want to talk about Michael and Sierra. First. What in the like, why is he on these shows? Michael for the people at home? The widower dad? He did this to Katie. He came on, she was all in, she seemed even ready to move to acron and nice. And Katie was perfectly nice, did not seem like she was chasing fame. He like bailed at the last second. Here he is again. He's with Sierra. She's sweetest can be.

She's like starts talking about what it would be like, um feeling badly for his son having to deal with like a step mom. She wants to have kids. But she's so lovely and he's been behaved. He's been leading her to believe that. To me as a viewer, the way they've edited it, it seems like, of course she felt this way. So then she does the sweetest thing in the world. She gets he his deceased wife, and

his son stars together. She buys them stars. Now. My brother Howy saw last night and watched this with very upset because apparently they didn't look through the right a little lens. They didn't they looked through the easy finder. I know, I have a telescope. Was very mad about that. Alaric was very mad about that. That was so stupid. But um, so she was like, and then this son of Aghan is like whoa, whoa whoa friend zone? And then she's covered in glitter. She leaves and I'm like,

why are you on the show? What do you want? Like you got your new teeth, your new tan, your dark hair, like it seems like you just have like it's just it's just some ego thing to like get followed, like this is some weird psychosis. What the funk is happening. I'm gonna let Gareth go first, because I saw him just take a big exhale and lean back, Take it away, Take it away, Gareth. Well, I don't. I it's very strange because it is like when he goes back, you'd

be like, Okay, he's ready. I think I I want to be careful because I don't want to accuse him of anything. But I think to some extent, you know, she did come on real strong, and I think to some extent he probably really starts thinking a lot more realistically when someone like when someone buys you stars and stuff like what her gesture was insanely sweet, So but I could also see him being like the one thing I always lose in this show is how long have

this How long has this been going on? It's been like five two and a half days. It's not long at all, So so it's very it's very fast to be buying stars for the Sun, And I think that he probably just felt a little taken Aback. I do think the timing was bad. I think if you're him, put a pin in it, you know, and maybe wait for a bet like it's the weird segue to be like, it's awesome, there's are in space, speaking of space. I

need way more of it from you. So I think maybe absorbed the gesture and then the next morning maybe go with the like, hey, I've been thinking about it. I've been ruminated. But it did it. I mean, it was obviously so traumatic that she was like, I'm leaving the show. Well he want to be friends, like he broke up with her, and yeah, there's a way to

maybe go. I think he also threw the baby out with the bathwater where he didn't like maybe he could just like to be a little panic but take a breath and still progress, like at his own page, Katie, Katie see Katie wanted to get in Katie. Well, first of all, I want to say last week I speculated that maybe that he thus still live in Ohio, maybe move to Cleveland. I had multiple people reach out to me he still lives in Akron. They see him around Akron.

He definitely still lives there. Um in Akron's beautiful by the way, Anthony's from Cleveland where in that part of Ohio a lot um but he I I think I think I agree with Gareth. I think she was nothing but sweet and she was moving at the pace that everyone else on that on that beach moves at. But most of those people don't have a child, and they're not a widower, and it's very different for him. Like when they were laying on that David and she was like, oh,

I want to a stepmom. You just saw it kind of sink into him in his eyes. He's just like wait, what, Like I think the reality sat in that, like, you know, his kids involved, and it's it's much bigger to him, and I think he just got really freaked out. I have to say, just as like the side of this

podcast that actually has like real life advice. Sometimes I remember, now, granted I am currently divorced from this person, but when I first started dating my eggs, he was very in fast okay, and I was always a very independent person, and he would say stuff to me quickly, like I want to spend the rest of my life with you, which for some women that might be the best thing for me, that would be worse than saying, like I shaved off all your hair in the middle of the night.

Like that was almost panicky. I used to just feel captured. I would want to cut and run, just the saying that is the worst possibly thing you could have said to somebody like me. But I had a friend who helped sort of talk me off the ledge and say a that I didn't need to say me too, and then in the back of my brain that I could go for today. For today he wants to do that like that, and it doesn't mean that I'm agreeing to be his wife, and it doesn't mean like we didn't

live together for six years until we got engaged. Like it's just like that. Just because somebody else can be the gas pedal doesn't mean that you can't then pump the brakes a little and then still set your own course. Maybe if somebody else is excited, you don't need to cut and run. It's the Kidston, It's the kid and it's it's also like the show, because the show is being like you have to get engaged, you have to get engaged, and I think the show puts a lot

of pressure on them. I see Robbie b be leaking forward repensively. Yes, he also yeah, and he's a widower who my fifteen year old daughter walks through the room and was like he needs therapy, and I literally think he did, Like that's where. However, I also agree with Gareth, like she she came on super hot, Like it's it's like it really not that much time has passed. It's really been just a couple of days and she's already

buying stars. I just it just feels a little bit like, you know, it's uh been the final night that should have been the final night, right exactly. And but I do agree that I don't know why he cut her off, Like, look, this is the show. If you want to stay out there on the beach, let like at least lead her on for a couple more dates, litter because it's women

have the power. And he cut her off, like you know, a few hours before the women were going to go on and say who they wanted to stay, right, which we still haven't gotten to yet, but you know what I mean, So what's who's he going to go with? Like he's he's done that. We only had one rose ceremony so far. Yeah, that was no rose ceremony. There was nothing Monday, Jesse Palmer, there's no rose ceremony. Anna. What are your thoughts on this, Michaelson, okay, for I

have a lot of thoughts. First, I don't think Siara so. Siara left because she's like, I don't want us to watch him date other people, which is understandable. I wouldn't either if you were like starting to get invest did you buy someone some stars and they're like, sorry, it's too much. But in my opinion, she shouldn't have left. He should have left. He basically told us all he wasn't ready to be there, and then he stayed. That was weird. And then see, that's why you're a doctor.

Thanks to our sleuthing slew thing slew thing listeners who tagged me everything to have ever existed, and God bless all of you, because I know more about Bachelor Nation than really is appropriate. And I learned thanks to a website called Real Bachelor Jobs, who investigate what these people really do. This is a great website. Michael is Lokia

Grifter so honestly fun. That guy he during the pandemic, he price gouged the ship out of Ppe like he bought a bunch of ppe and then charged more for it, basically like flipped it, and then created all these different companies that do all these different things that are all like kind of like, uh so, anyway, feel free to go look him up. Michael on for the Stars, he condor for Stars. He got the stars out of her.

So if I verry circling bag theory that he's here for the followers, not actually looking for love, and that, to me, it's the equivalent of like a crushed collector. But it's like there's like a weird psychosis of I don't think anyone. I don't think any pace she could have gone at. Let's say she didn't do the Stars. I don't think there's any pace that anybody in this setting, any contestant could do that would not end with him cutting and running at some point. If he's a grifter,

then that adds a new light to it. I just think it's a great word. It's a great word. You picture stiff. It's fine. I have a question though, because I was surprised Michael didn't leave either. I thought he would have been the one like I'm going to go home. Do you think there was there's someone that he was like talking to or someone that he's like waiting to get there. No, I don't know. I think there's I think they're going to bring someone in last minute that

he's going to because he or something like that. Because yes, and it seemed like when he was at the bar lamenting that with else, I was like, he's gonna be okay. There was all the Zadie smoke. It's the beginning, Like, I feel like they want him to stick around, so I feel like there's gonna be like a swooping in and saving of him at the last minute, all right, circling to the next thing of just as you're saying this,

I'm just going again because it's to break down. But then my that gut then goes to the saga of Sally's Suitcase. I loved the fact. Now, according to Anna, she heard a podcast with Wells were Well said all of this really happened, which in my mind, if I'm the producer, they locked me in the trunk, why don't I just go stand around the corner. I think it's so baller that she comes in. She's like, all of you have ship and then she and she leaves, leaves, leave,

does it again. She's done it twice now, and and the thing that she has going for her is she's like a Miss America, Like she's so pretty and that sort of sorority Texas, like she's a done gun in the classic myth America kind of a way. I loved it. I loved her leaving. I loved Genevieve being such an idiot, like freaking out, even though Genevieve now has like a nice like she's like hulked up with Aaron, So like Genevieve freaking out about this person even though she's not

dating Justin. And then her refusing to do it, even though she the whole thing was so psychotic that I was here for it, Gareth, I mean I it was. It sort of felt like how kids. I mean again, the whole thing leading up to it was like why the funk is she here? But she left so fast like everyone did kind of like pile on kind of and like get into it. But I mean that whole thing,

just her whole Bachelor run has been remarkable, remarkable. She's been talked about so much and she's been on the show for a minute and a half and then she I mean, who doesn't want to vibrate her opening. But but yeah, I don't know. I kind to me kind of felt like a little bit bad, um, just because everyone right away, you know, I mean she just really was immediately like I'm out of here, and I mean, where is this place again? Is it? Where is it? It's just north of Okay, so it's not that bad,

but um, yeah, I don't know. It was crazy. I loved it. Was crazy, and I love that she actually left. I loved it, Robbie Beebe. I gotta think that the producers were really piste off at her. Yeah, because this whole thing with the suitcase. Yeah, I mean they really is. You haven't seen them go at someone that viciously hate her? Yeah? Yeah, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed that she I mean I enjoyed it for her sake, that she had her own back and that she left. I think it's the fuck

you I'm out of here, Katie? What did you think? Um? I was just like so confused as to what happened, because it was like just such a whirlwind or just showing up, everyone losing their minds over this girl who we barely know. But I guess cause a lot of drama stagecoach. But yeah, it was just love that they're back at stagecoach too. I love that that's back. I love it. They can't get away from stage. They can't. It's stagecoach made with every stage coach. I mean, we're

gonna take good riddance. Though. She seems like just nothing but drama. So maybe they're chasing the pretty girl who does not want to be there. Yeah yeah, I mean like I mean the producers, I mean, I don't know. Maybe she does suck, maybe the producers just really hate her. But either way, it was just a ship show. I love that she's like bragging about the three she has been like three flights. Three did you miss a flight? No, I missed three. I loved it. I was here for

all of it. We're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back. Yes, that's right, and we're back. I have to say, Okay, this is the segment where I want to talk about the weird couples that I'm enjoying. I am enjoying um Rodney and Lace. Now it looked like it was gonna he was Rodney and Loose. I have a soft spot for Loose, and she should not be back there, probably for her own well being. I do remember that she quit drinking. She said it and then so clearly that didn't stick. And but she's back.

And but I love that they're treating thirty two like it's like the crone of you know, the Chronics shows make it feel so old thirty two. Thirty two? Does she have some work done? She looks different. Probably a lip situation, as a fair minimum, she felt loose. I would generally, I think when you really go for the lips, maybe there's a good cheek and like maybe a cheek, maybe a little bit of a cheek. Yeah, I think

that's a I think that's the thing. I think there could be a little like filler in the cheek, filler in the lip, you know what. That's by the way, present day, the kids want to look like they want They're not trying to be like I didn't do it. They want to be like, yeah I did. Like that's a good thing. That's a positive. You want that kind of silly putty, shine on your head, fall asleep on

a newspaper, it's there forever. That's sort of even that joke is probably people like this old man talking about I. But I like that she swooped him with Rodney, and Rodney was almost like his guard was down enough to be like, okay, Horney lady, alright, great, here we go. I was kind of into this weird coupling of Rodney and Loose. Dr Banana, How did you feel about this combo? Yeah? I mean I felt like Rodney maybe the only guy who's actually like mature and could handle Loose if you will.

All the other guys were like, where is she from? You know, like when she came down, they were like what what are you? Yes? And when? And what's his name? Logan when he got into his altercation with a are calling her loose and the way she was like and the Logan tastes like, oh no, trying to so bad. So I'm glad. I'm glad she found Rodney because he's actually like a good you know, like he's like a

real good person where you're like, wow, yeah, incredible. I'm going to skip ahead to my favorite couple, and I cannot believe I'm saying this. I mean, it's not my favorite. It's not. I mean, obviously Brandon and Serena, like obviously they're number one, but like my favorite weird couple. I can't believe. I am sincerely rooting for and enjoy and I'm tickled by Jacob and Jill. So they went on

a date. So Tarzan and Jill and Jill who's been so extreme with her, like her facial expressions, her moods, her oh my god, like so extra and her she's got no games. And like Tarzan who's working out by putting like rubber bands around his sides and like fucking the air and everybody, like, I mean, he's like who public whose public workout? His thrusts, but he was just like eighty five wow, and I haven't even finished. And so what do you do? I do some bush up

and thrusts. I do squats and bench bangs, bench bangs, you know. Usual. His haircut is so stupid. I also think he's huge, Like when he was walking with Jill, I'm like this guy, like, I think he's dumb as a stump. So they get they go on a private day. They go on one on one and they go it's a full moon sexual energy crystal bath lady where she has to and he so he's like every day I've

been breathing and it's breathing leaves a lot of inflation. Okay, that was inflation, and it's Joe Biden's economies inside of and twice as much. When it gets tight, you don't even realize understand how valuable air really is. Guess up, he's an idiot. So then they like get oiled down, and then they start howling at the moon, and then they're like, okay, pick like a phallic crystal, and then you're going to do a nude howling oiled crystal ceremony under the moon in front of me, in front of

this lady. So yet again there's another guy with an enormous cross tattoo on his ribs, just as the Lord intended in Paradise. Fully nude oiled down, they go like, but but but he's so taller than her that his butt shelf is like up like at her shoulder blades,

and her little butt is underneath. And they have to hold hands and say with each other's favorite parts of their body, like her butt, and then he likes the arms, and then they start like howling and um, and she's like, I feel so seen, and um it was, and then they started doing um tongue kissing and it was and I was actually like here for the whole thing. And

then they came back and Dr Kira came back. They just like Jeels finally happy, She's finally got and Kira, in a thirsty move, was like you felt like home, I'm here for you. And he talked to her way too long until her enemy Justin goes and Brittany they're like, dude, you gotta go, and then like and then they're like, Okay, I like you. I mean, okay, all of that is on the table, Bob, you get to go first. Okay, Um, I'm with you. I I loved it. I loved it.

I loved it. And they're both so weird, the same level of weird. I feel like she's amped up the weird to sort of equal his his natural weird. Their birthdays or a day apart, like they seem you know what I mean. And I think she's she's in for when they were like found that they had the date together and they both kind of went crazy at the same time, and it was like yeah, and honestly, the

naked thing, you know, I can relate. It's like it's it's hard to do in front of people, and uh, but she did it, and like, you know, I was, I was there for it. And he's so dumb. But yeah, and like when he was went away and talked to whatever her name is that came in. Yeah she uh, that was so weird. I don't know why. I don't know why what she was really thinking. And and then so and then after that, so so she talks, she

talks to Tarzan, and Tarzan's like uh. And then finally like they go away from each other and then she pulls aside Romeo. Yeah, Romeo looks like. Romeo runs up to her like yeah, and she's like she's like, you're the only one who doesn't slutch me. You don't judge me. And then they hold that. He starts crying and because it was incredible because there's no women on the beach, all these women keep self eliminating, so the guys are freaking out. So here's his life jacket. Now, if you

never we don't know if you guys both know. But both Romeo and Dr Kira are Harvard graduates. These two Harvard alumni weeping on the beach holding one another until she's like, all right, it's you you, let's go. And then he took a seven second pausitive airtime longer, and then it was like blinking and it's like okay, but he's like, but I want more episodes like these two Harvard grads. This shot of him when after she was like, we're so we're gonna go, we should we pick each other.

We're just gonna leave, and there's a shot at him. He's biting his lip and he's like that he's still there forty five minutes. I'm trying to decide. I was trying to figure out wasn't editing because I was like, this has to but I do think that was what I thought, but she her response was that it wasn't. She's like, so it was not. I'm thinking I don't

want to, but you asked. So it's really weird for me, and I think it's also like he's not going to get a rose from somebody wants more episodes, and he's like, do we do this? Away from the cameras, you could see like the beautiful mind, Harvard Brain Mind, palace of numbers going by, where he's like, carry the seven roses left. She will fuck you. Probably you made out you wept, so there's no coming back from that. You said you wanted to love, that's really why you're here, but know

how to not say yes. He did not know how to say no. Yeah okay. But when they're doing their exit interview and his face and they kept zooming in on it, literally has a hostage in his own love story. It's like they should win best in a photography that DP, that DP was the best Haiti No, it was, Yeah, his face, he just looked like he was trapped. He just looked like help me, help me, help me, like yeah yeah. It almost looked like he wasn't going to

get in the car. I thought she was going to get in the car and he was just going to close the door and be like I'm gonna I'm gonna try to find face it I have it. But did you notice in the last second before they cut away, he shivers like just like he was allergic to going with her, and he still did it. Like when they showed him in the van, he should have been like swollen, like he ate shellfish, like he needed an EpiPen to get in there. He did not. He wanted to be

on television. But her move also was amazing. It was like she was like I just had my heartbroken, and then he almost came out of the sand just like hey, you know, just like hey, we should leave the show. And he was like, oh okay. She came in there. She's like, I can't stop thinking about Jacob. I like Jacob so much. And Jacob says no, and then Romeo is like, hey, what about me? And she's like, oh my god, I like you so much. Stop thinking about you.

Let's get out of here. Question yes, yes, oh yeah, wait, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah man. He really was like, uh, do you think Jacob, No, but we know we've seen the preview where they kick out all the women and Jacob immediately making out with some little blonde gal in a thong. I think they all are. I think they Brandon except for Brandon and when never do you think that ABC makes them put the black bars over the bikinis y thongs, like even then you can see anis

is showing that easily in these outfits. I think it's just a lot of cheek. I think it's too much che They look like just like true thongs to me, though, like not even like just like a really tiny bikinis. They look like they must be like Deli slicer's. I mean they are really pixelating. It's very It's almost like I think it would be better to risk people seeing a little something every now and then then to just be like their buttholes are showing everyone like for every shot.

I don't know. Maybe their buttholes are showing I don't And the square is so big it's bigg got in trouble for showing cheek at some point, like I means Disney, I don't know, people do the ratings, the rating people. Whenever I showed you last year yard and when they showed a statue in France, yes that the penis was showing and they blurred the art penis, which was like, oh god, they blurred the penis, which is crazy. Yeah, nuts, No, no, mainly the penis. Do you guys so we know that?

Because I was gonna say, do you think Jill and Jacob will make it? But no, the blonde comes in, he starts immediately making out with her. They almost didn't make it at the end of their date because he was like holding her hand. I think he's very much like he's like a dog, like whose keys are shaking loudest A magpie, a shiny object. That's all right, and then Ashley I and Jared come in and they have

they get a date card. You know, it felt a little bit like these people weren't aware of their bachelor history. Like I think they were sort of like, wait, who is they don't know? I feel like they're trying to prove, like, oh, this is the goal, this is what we're all working towards, like you know, you can get married and have a baby.

But it felt kind of like the people didn't know who they were, which is crazy because Ashley was on so many iterations of this show Well it didn't and um, they had to re explain it, right, they had to re explain the story. Well tell them yeah, um, Wells is getting a lot of good monologues, Wells is crushing Well. My brother really loved Wells in the Wig My Brothers. He was very into the Sally Suitcase Wells performance. He

liked it a lot. And it wasn't that that wasn't this the this the story that he told Ashley I story that he told sort of like a Shakespearean sort of like yes, um, yes, yeah, why are they why? I don't understand completely why we're bringing them back? But here's my theory. My theory is that they wanted to be like, see, you can get married, it works, you

can have a baby. Like I think it's sort of like how Jade and Tanner used to be, where they're like, like, remember that at some point sometimes people get married and start families from this, and I think Carly and Evan broke up. So that was my theory was that it was a reminder of what you could have. I love actually, I she's a fan of she's a friend of the

of the podcast. However, I just I felt like it was a little too much as opposed to the Tanner one, where it's like we're just showing you how it can be. This was like they're on as sort of members of the show taking a date card, and it's become this whole separate thing where like, will they have sex in the boom boom room. I'm surprised at how few nobody has seemed to try to use the boom boom room yet. Yeah, well it's because it's been taken. It's been Yeah, it's

been taken. I know. I was like, look, I'm no longer a married person. Um, it did make me go. It did make me go, oh, I hope if I'm with somebody for seven years again, that it's easier for me to have sex with him in a hotel room. Yeah. I honestly most people should left the island after. It's a cautionary tale. Yeah. I definitely felt like time filler. But I also could see that they were trying to be like, this could be you, even though if you go back and forth for years and like you know,

date other people, you never know. I feel like they were trying to give these people hope in a way that they were kind of like, okay, but we don't know these people, and it's like what how old are you? What happened? It's like when there was a guy when you know who like kept coming back to my high school like five years after he graduated, and we were all like, buddy, move on, yeah katie, Katie, what were

you getta? I was gonna say. It feels like they had them come and they were supposed to just be there for like one day, and then they're like, wait, how many episodes did we order? Ship? Can you guys stay? Like can you stay? And and well, we'll do some stuff with you and make make some time out of it. I will say if I was Ashley I and Jared, I would also do that that I'd be like, remembering is to Mexico. Look, I'm not complaining. Let's leave the kid at Grandma. Grandma. Lets we have a reason on

this show. Probably when you guys have sex after the first night, we'll send you out the next day and they're like, boy, we couldn't have sex again. And they're like, all right, fun, we'll stay one more night. The better banging tonight we can't afford the farting. Farting was real. That was real, wasn't it. Life is like I mean, I have never openly farted in front of anyone. Really. I farted from Anthony all the time, Are you kidding? Never?

I'm a vegan, like I'm a Jew. I would never, I would remember, I would I would I didn't know that we eat a lot of beans. I would go to the I would go outside. I would never audibly I'm gonna go check out Michael Stars again. YEA. Honestly, I believe that you should be able to fart in front of you, Yes, but on the level, on the level that was happening in that room was just sort of like, are you trying to keep me single forever? That was a lot. It was a lot will lee fart?

If I knew it was coming, I would go outside. I do so, Like if someone punched you in the tummy out of nowhere, then what can you do? Sometimes you laugh and you fart by accident, but then you just laugh harder and cover it up exactly, you act like it didn't happen. I just like, look, it's a long lifetime. If you're going to be with somebody and you want to make them have sex with you forever, it's easy to walk into another room. Much less on national television. I mean, yeah, i'd i'd hold it for

national television. No, I agree that national television that was a bit much. But I think when you're when you're, when you're with someone and you live together, never know it's going to happen. I think sometimes. But again, let's not make it a story in the episode. I mean, it was like her gas became the plot. Yeah, like I have sex until until she pete on the beach, and then that I am a water peer, I'm not a sand nobody's about a cat. Cat cats and sand

cats do that. She should have been like putting it over and seeing if it clumped. It's so lazy. All she had to do was to go like ten feet out. Yes, I had to talk to the vet again about me Alan Mitten's. I got another phone call we talked about on the podcast. My my vet is concerned that my cats don't have enough to do. I had a phone call. Yeah, and they don't have to have room. And I'm like, what's her shelter? Cats? They have plenty of room. Yeah,

do whatever they want in a house. I have never heard of of anyone, let alone a vet, being like your cat's board. I feel like I'm also so all over my cat. Yeah, you're catching so I am not because I have some friends. It's like you wouldn't even know they have a cat. There. Cats lives in their closet. I am so cat focused. I spent I pay so much attention to my cat. I don't know what else do you want from me? What prom did it? Mitten's has a cold again, and she said it's because Mittens

is stressed out. No, no, sorry, that that's what they told me when my cat started pooping on me. They're like, your cats stressed stressed out? Well, that sounds that does sound like stress, Rob, don't what do you mean? Well, they also blame it on me. I don't know, And you don't know I trained it to do that. Oh, we didn't know that part. Your cat pooped on you? Yeah, while I was sleeping several times. Wait, Rob, I don't think this cat likes you. I don't think it's stressed.

So you had a cat a cat? No, she's gone now is it? Is it? Wait a minute? How many times did you wake up to cat poop on you? You don't know the stories? Three? Three times? Yeah? And and so Yeah, my friend had me go to a cat's psychic, and the and the cats psychic told me that the cat was stressed out because her owner was stressed out, like it on me. And I was like, yeah, I'm fucking stressed out because she's pooping on me while I'm sleeping. It's alarming, Rob, you need to poop on

your cat? Well, that's the only way. Your friend, Nancy, it was your friend, Nancy. Uh No, I don't think so. I was a friend of my friend. Did it for me? So? My so I when I was married, we had four cats and they were stressed out and um, one of them kept pissing on the bed, and we tried going to a cat psychic, but they were too busy, so she refer just through a cat medium and then I'm

not as good. My ex had to go. He had to talk to the cat on the phone and and apparently apparently and I so this was a Lane and Keith. It was a Lane and Keith having problems. Those were my cats, so Elane and so he I heard my ex say to the cat on the phone, I understand that, Eline, but we can't put Keith outside. He'll get eaten by a coyote. It was because the medium would channel the cat, you would have to interact, so to the cat via the medium was suggesting that Keith become an outdoor cat,

and my ex had to say, I understand that. I hear you. That's a good suggestion. But we live in a neighborhood. There's a lot of coyote. So I like, I heard him like negotiating with a terrorist. That was our cat Lane. Yeah, yeah, she was trying to kill Keith. That's basically what I's same with us. And then uh so we made Vixen an outdoor cat, and the coyotes got the cat like five months later, the cat that shout out you you killed the cat because of the

cat psychic Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's a good way to bottom line. Yeah, I think the cats your cat. I think the lesson here is we need to put Ashley I out into the woods. Yeah, with the coyotes. Bingo. Okay, So then, um yeah, overall it kind of was like I just know that it did again being a person dating again and being getting another shot at romance, I'm like, I don't want to be super obsessed with somebody and then not want to have sex with them on a

trip again. You know. Yeah, it wasn't sexy. It was the opposite of sexy. It was the opposite of sex thing. You know what. I thought it was the most relatable footage I've ever seen on television. Do you fart in front of your partner? Anna? Zach and I are literally constantly trying to kill each other with our parts, honibly, do you make them? Do you like make fart sounds? Have you pooped on each other? Uh? We're both very stressed,

so yes, no, Uh, I mean actually it's uh I try. Yeah, I don't, but I did see him that special, Yes, you can. The Nick Krol special tells you that if you literally just move butt cheeks away from each other, it won't make a noise. Yeah. Yeah, thank god, there's no other signs that had happened. We're learning so much about Rob. Do you fart in front of your lady? Yeah? Yeah, you know. Do you make a big show of it? Rob,

I don't just get it. And that's it, you know, you walk to the other room and then I'm so sorry. I'm watching you put a globe in every room and then whenever you have to fart, you go, I'm gonna go look at that globe and then you give it a spin and you let one rip from a lady. Friend. Ah, that's happened. But I certainly, I'm like, yeah, for sure. I mean, I you know, but I don't. But if you know it, but I don't go go Yeah, yeah I'm not. I'm not like, well, that dinner is coming

back for another round. No sex, yeah, big guy for everyone. My dad did suck. But one of his funny things he would do that always he was so disgusting and he would just really loudly. He never wore pants. He was always in boxers and then he would just rip farts, and even if my mom was at work, he would always blame it. So he'd rip one and then he'd go Janet and then like as if. And I have to say it was never not funny that that was

always funny. He would rip it. She could have been in another state and he would go Janet, and it always made my brother and I laugh. Or let's take a quick break and we'll be right back. And we're back, all right, But we're gonna end on the really good couple, so we're not going to get to them yet. Let's talk about another fun love affair that's happening, which is um Cheney and her female friend, her friend me, their friendship, what's her name, Genevieve, Genevieve, who's such a drag, Oh

my god. But we'll get to her being a dragon and stuff. I love THEE Genevieve friendship and that their tag at the end of the first night of them kind of apologizing and like being like, I actually really like you. I'm sorry I called you your dress diaper. I'm sorry I overly you pointed first. We're friends now. I like the friendship. Yeah, it's nice to see it's rare. It's fair to see to like complete enemy, especially with Genevieve, who will turn on a dime like with Sally kind

of it's almost a dangerous combination. Yeah, she was. Gene has actually behaved well the whole season. Like Genevieve is more of the wild card right now, Garett, I don't like it and I don't like any part of it. Genevieve, yes, now has somehow started to out crazy channel. I mean, she's because I did like her on that season. I

thought she seemed good. And it's also amazing how like when someone starts to become like she's become less attractive to me since the season began, because I'm like, boy, you know, she's always going like, oh, like she's got

like justin reaction. That's those two can't be together. But the say thing bothers me because she was the worst person in the history of the show from what I gathered as far as like the most dishonest nobody would ever like straight up just like fabricated reality on that level. And then she's come here and she now is like people are like, is pretty cool, but she I feel like, you don't. It's like Marjorie Taylor Green where I'm like,

you don't get to be normal now. You don't get to stand there now and be like I'm a competent normal. I'm like, I've heard the crazy part. I don't. I have no trust in it anymore. So the fact that she now has been kind of normalized is a bother to me. And then Genevieve has helped her case by being like, I'm the one who's totally bizarre now. But that pairing to me, I was like, I I just

found it all nuts. Well, that's the thing about about you know, the you know, uh Bachelor in Paradise is that people could change, you know, the one way in Bachelor, then they come to Bachelor Paradise, they could be like a different person. There was a guy that was a villain that came back who wait, Katie, Katie's on it, Peter buh buh buh, rehabilitation starts. It was somebody like in the season's past who came back and we're sweet. There was some people it was well Nick Vale had

a rehabilitation came but she was so bad. The way villain that did a rehabilitation, I can There was a male villain that yeah, but you know she is, She's still she's kind of working those two dudes against each other. It looks like in the next episode it's gonna that's gonna get bad. Well, well, let's try with Genevie for on a second. So she was so extra with Justin when he went on to day with Victoria and at

his point he didn't even kiss her. And then she goes on the date with Aaron and um picks Aaron basically right, and it's like making out from and then she's so rude to Justin about it, like you did never stop me. Still, you never made me tired. You give me one kiss because it's been like two days and two days. And then he goes and he goes, oh, are you just like in a kissing counting contest and

she's like no, no, how dare you? And then like she's completely all over Aaron in front of him and then lo and behold, it's sucking his birthday now even though it's her birthday, Like everybody's fucking birthday. We also have coming up serenes, but it's everybody's birthday, so it's his birthday. So like, even though she sets the cake for Genevieve. So then now they're on the day bed. He's like, I'm not even got a birthday kiss, So

then she kisses him. After all of that, in front of Aaron, after she actually picked Aaron, she starts making out with Justin again because it's his birthday, and then he storms off with his boyfriend James, and they said shower together. He's like, hand me my back, acts body spray, and then she goes to go like there, I mean, that's the best couple of all. They ate together, they're so cute, and then so she goes and she's like,

I'm really sorry. I wouldn't like that if I were you, and he was cool about it, and then we know in the previews he starts making out with somebody else. All of this is on board, Gareth, you can go first. I mean, yeah, I thought the way. I mean, she acknowledged that her behavior was extremely erratic, but it's like, you know, in that situation, I just can't imagine having feelings and then them changing on a dime because someone's like, it's my birthday, so you know, I mean, she just

made a really weird call. And again after kind of like gaslighting him, um with the like kiss count stuff and then um, yeah, and I was surprised he was cool with about it. Aaron afterwards, I don't know. I guess when you go into this world, you just are acknowledging that time and space are not the same laws that apply in the regular world, and that crazy ship's gonna happen, and you kind of just have to have like this shield up. But I thought she handled it horribly.

I thought it was weird that he accepted it. And this is after a day where she and Shay had the piece accord, which I also found bizarre. So the whole thing totally bizarre. Aaron was surprisingly cool about the whole thing. Yeah, especially that that's already happened. Damn. Yeah, in the same exact way. Yeah, it was like a re enactment. He was like, they must be joking. They're probably making fun of me. It was terrible, Rob, What did you think of this? Yeah? I felt the same way,

And you know, I agree with Gareth. It's it is true that it's a different world, different rules. In fact, like sometimes when people are pissed, I'm kind of like, it's paradise. Ship is going to happen and you know, people bounce back. It amazes me though, how quickly Aaron and her are just like and again, it's been a couple of days and they're like all over each other and then it's gonna is it gonna change? Is he

one of the ones that was someone else? Yeah? Of course of course, because it's paradise and that's I can only I mean, Genevieve's mouth is going to open so wide, like her brain is gonna come out. Yeah, like we with Garett too, Like she's gotten less hot as it's gone alone because of her personality. She's so insecure and so like, so like what are You've already moved on? So what do you care? If Justin had only kissed you once? Like me, didn't pick him? So why are you?

Why do you need to win that? And then when Sally shows up? What do you care if Justin talks to Sally? You you picked are so let him he should talk to Sally? What what the fund do you care? Um? Dr Banana? Do you have any thoughts on this? Yeah? I mean to me, Justin and Genevieve had no real chemistry. I didn't see it, Like I was like kind of like, oh, Genevieve's star trying like you only kissed me once in the whining uh, but then like I just also for like,

uh justin. I was like, you're not that into Jenevieve, stopped trying to make this happen, like you're clearly just waiting for the next person that you know you actually like, Like he was clearly just trying to get a rose. So I just didn't see it for them, So I kind of was like that whole hubbub. I was watching them talk, but I was mostly in my mind being like, moving along, this isn't happening, move it along with the nectar bro before rose. Can we talk about bung joer No?

And he said I was trying to figure out who passed out, So I rewound it ten times, and I was hearing that so many times. I was like, I cannot try to figure out who this is anymore. The pizza preneur. I forgot about the pizza preneur, the fact that he's bad. He pulled Brittany, Brittany who's so cute, so cute, no and seems cool and so starkly and she's now dodged too gross kisses. Yeah, he pulled her for a day in the boat. He's like, would you like most about me? Your eyes? That's due. I want

best eyes in high school. And then the audio floating on noodles and the od and like the subtitles sometimes in the water, I mean, and then like it was just the subtitles the water, and then like she's so cute, and then like he's not asking her any questions and he's just talking about his pizza business in South Florida, just just like and like making all the analogies. And

then Casey, he's just being a little bit. But all he is there to do is just like the snarky comments or like commentator that's like talking about like what do you care? Like you're not talking to any of the women you just talked to Michael, Yeah, what's what's he's doing? So he's just talking with the preneur. I was all this about pizza, which he was correct, he was pizza. But then so then they get back to

the beach and he basically slept shames her. He's like, I went to I live in near Fort Law or did we see a lot of that? Like if I don't I hit on somebody, They're not interested. They're not here. There's influencer types want to be modeled. She's just here for followers like Katie. Katie, he's hot and heavy. His me off so much. It was so rude and so mean because Brittany is cute and she is the one that got like, um, she got all the rumors about her when she was on that James season right, Yes,

are you fucking kidding me? That was her? Yes? And like, I mean, what a what a cocky piece of ship to be like, well, she didn't like me, so she just must be here. He's the worst spin I did like that. Casey was kind of like, that's what you think, Like Casey was trying to be like bro like not buying it. Yeah, but he's so awful. But then I was happy that Wells talked Andrew into having sort of a backbone and pulling Brittany aside. And they're cute together?

Did they are so cute? And I didn't remember? I didn't. I mean, there's so many people like I didn't remember the stop and start to the relationship. I have no memory of them. Have we seen them in a rack? Is this? Like? Did I miss it? They didn't really shown Brittany that much, I think because she's just a little too normal. Yeahs. And so like they were really cute and they actually seem to have chemistry. They had some good kisses and like we love Andrew, so you

know that. And then oh and then there was like a post that Teddy posted something on Instagram and and you want to tell everybody, Oh yeah, Teddy posted sorry, actually, let me pull that up. So you know how Teddy

just like left and was just like by idiots? Uh she posted She posted a photo of herself just like holding some flowers, and her caption was something I'm proud of learning one leaving environments that are cruel to me and the people around me, to sticking to my boundaries no matter how many times people in authority try to cross them. So um so a producer must have been

trying to get her to do something. Yes, and then Kendall Long if you guys remember Kendall the taxidermist girl who was who was with grocery story, Yeah, previously commented love that you escaped a toxic situation before it became much worse. Lessons to live by, right, So wait, what do you think happened to Teddy? Yeah, what do you

think happened, Dana? What I mean, it just sounds like potentially they were trying to maybe pressure her to go on a date with Rodney and like her Andrew like, I mean, I'm sure they were just trying to get her to create a storyline and Teddy. Teddy seems like headstrong. Of course, she's the most confident virgin we've ever come across. I'm sure she was like, no, fuck you, I'm leaving right now, get my car, and they were like, whoa.

I like her. I think she's great. I mean, we'll probably never see her on the show again because she posted that, but like, good for her, Like, you know,

Katie wants to dive in. I could feel it. Oh yeah, no, like I mean, because we're talking about it last week and I think I even said, like, oh, maybe she overactive, But thinking back on I was like, no, like, if it's got to be a shitty experience, especially if like you're not feeling in it with the pressure that you're receiving from the other people and the producers, especially, like

it's got to be hard. And good for her for just being like I don't want to be I want I don't want to do this anymore and leavings and I feel like maybe did that too. Yeah, speaking of Kendall, remember Kendall came and made a play for grocery store Joe last year. She sho that back. It's gotta be weird to be the machine of this franchise and then be like no longer this year's graduating class. Like what do you do when you're three, like even like three

years out? Like how do you go back to living a normal life when it's got to be weird to like become an influencer? Probably quit your job, like and then you're not quite it's not happening in a way, Like that's gotta be weird. What do you do? It's like Miss America, Like after your reign is done? Yeah, don't you don't give the next one the crown? That would be like no year, this one and a fish as they're dragging you off. I would love for you to go through the paget circuit. Garrett. I did it.

I mean I did it long. I did it long enough. I served my time. I did what I you know, what was the first pageant you ever won? I won Mr Milwaukee and then I went to compete on Dr Wisconsin was runner up. There are you a doctor? No, that was a huge problem for me. And that whole event, like I just it was just for like doctors, and Misconsin is called it was just for it was it was Dr Wisconsin and it was just for doctors. And then I got pretty far and then they start to

check the credentials. They realized so I couldn't win that one because he's just he's a dentist. He's not a doctor. Claimed to be. What kind of a doctor did you claim to be? I claimed to be the world's greatest veterinarian um and I really and every question they asked, I really kept like the lie going. I kind of that was before I knew how to lie. I kept just saying more and more stuff. And then it went

to dinosaur DNA. I started talking about working with Michael cry It was a whole thing, and and then and then they started looking some of the stuff up and and that didn't go very well. But then I did the fair circuit for a long time. I tried to win, you know, sexiest guy at the Fair. I did a bunch of those. Um So anyway, I mean we're talking ten years hard earned paget grind. Now was your mom? Did your mom put you in this? Well? I modeled.

I I modeled as a child. I did a lot of before braces stuff as a child, and uh, that's where I got bit by the bug. But then, you know, obviously I started schooling, and uh, I went to school. I started to get different kind of training. But then when I was about eighteen, school of course, and uh, and then after that I started to I wanted to. I wanted to, I mean, look at me. And then after that I started to uh test the waters of

getting back in the pageant circuit. And it is it's very much like when you show up in Bachelor in Paradise. It's it's Satly's experience. They go, they see you, they're intimidated, and they try to make you feel bad, but you kind of just have to stick to your gun and just be like, I'm gonna be my own person. I know I got this, I know I'm working. I know what to do. And have any current are you holding any current titles right now? I have I have no time.

I mean, I haven't done this in in fifteen years. You know, I trained people to do it. Now I'm a teacher and yeah, yeah, well it's not a school. I rent. I rent a room on the weekends, and I give tutorials on how to do all the stuff. What is it? What kind of class? Well, how to smile properly, how to keep your butt tight not let farts get out, how to keep your nipples hard for swimsuits.

Um yeah, I mean, you know how to to pretend you're a doctor for as long as humanly possible, and that one is really just don't bring dinosaurs into it. Uh and uh yeah, but you know how to vane up right before a performance, how to chop down if that need be where the tape goes, shouldn't go up? Cool? All right, Wow, well it's so good. It's good stuff. Would you give any of the people on Bachelor Paradise any advice that you feel like that they could do different?

My only advice from Michael Moore teeth, Let's really get them in there. I really feel like we could fit another seven or eight in that cob. And uh you know, I mean, yeah, yeah, you can have so many teeth in your mouth that you can start selling them like stars to the general public. If you get enough in nice could be nice. Do you earn a good living and terrible living? No, I'm unemployment. I I mean some of the money I make goes against my unemployment, but

I have to call it in each week. But yeah, it's mostly unemployment. I'm on. Yeah, like if I make fifty bucks on a you know, like some guy shows up on a Saturday to the class boom, I but I got to report that otherwise they find out unless I get paid onto the table. Cut that out, Keny cut that under the table. Party, So you only have one student? It's no, no, no, no, no no. Some weekends I'll have to Some weekends I'll have none. Most weekends all have none. Uh and uh yeah, but it's

a whole thing. Um. I have a link on my site. It's under tour just right below there's a tab called training, and if you click on that you can see it. I can come to your place. A lot of people don't want me at your place, but I'd rather go to your place because that saves me on rental place to Arden's place. Well, a lot of times I do it in Arden's. Well, I don't, Katie cut this part out. Yeah, so you actually did. I didn't really appreciate that you were showing up and using my plate a lot if

I wasn't there like you were you were. I have ring cameras. I saw that you were in my place, Like, look, I'm not gonna be blamed for your cat's depression and cold. It's not because I'm holding classes there when you're not. I gotta go, Katie, cut me out of this whole episode. I wasn't even here today. All right, We're gonna take a quick great and we'll be right back with the only good couple in Paradise that did not No, they did not, Yes I did, and we're back. Okay. Here

we are Brendan and a Deal Ideal. They're so cute. This date was so cute. His reaction when he saw her on the beach and her she did like beautiful in her red dress. He's so adorable. Again. I love that he's branching out from the men in the pearl necklaces. He had a diamond necklace on. Um, I'm here for it. He's like so excited to see her. He was like tearing up um and it was just like it was so sweet. And then he takes her to this date and they have a dining table in the middle of

a pool. Did that feel insane? It feels like they do that a lot. Were they like sitting with their asses in water? I think that's how Ashley sits on the beach. Put up? They put up? Actually, actually I would have been paying the entire It looked like they were sitting in a pool. I was so confused. I couldn't figure it out, so insane. Um it was okay, So let me just pull up. I wrote it all down. Hold on, I just let me just I even like put stars on it because it was so fucking cute

and I wanted to. It's just so many there's so many gates that had Did you buy one of the stars for Michael? I bought one of the stars. I bought a Michael star ship. Where is it one? Hold on? Okay? Here it cost buy a star? Okay, not very much, not very much. Okay. So so they're in the pool and and he was like, I was so glad he didn't go on that date yester day because I didn't want to spend the day alone without you, not holding you by the beach, not taking a nap with you

on a David or eating ice cream with mango. Um, you're the biggest, most beautiful blessing in my life. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm crazy about you. And then she said, you grabbed me lunch, and you grab lunch, and you grab one for me too, and you make it a mini date when we just have lunch together. Um, you always think of me. You're what I've always needed and wanted, and you make me

feel like I deserve all of this. Um. And he's like, you're the most gorgeous girl who's dorky and it's just as weird as me. I'm falling in love with you. She's like, I'm falling in love with you too. She said, I've never felt so special in my life. He said, I'm all yours. Then he tells the producer I could get down on one knee. It could be the real deal. And then she said, how he looked at me today.

Nobody's ever looked at me like that, the look in someone's eyes, it's never This is one of the best nights I've ever had in my life. I'm going to remember this forever. And then the next night it's her fucking birthday again. Everybody's birthday through all the day bed and because she never had like a birthday party growing up, nobody was ever around, he wanted her to feel special, and then he summoned the cast like a crew of zombies walking dead, out of the darkness with the worst

rendition of happy Birthday. I think I've heard the worst. My brother putting it up. My brother was like, these are the worst singers, singers, and they stumbled out of the darkness like they were all happy brand birthday brands, happy bride birthday. I mean, put a ring on it. This is gonna be there, gonna fall in love. There's always one, and there's this. They're so cute, God willing that nothing bad happens. I think you're gonna make it.

I think they're gonna be a okay. So, so you saw in the preview that he looks like he stays all right, there's not I didn't see him in any of them. I think it's so mean that they're making the women leads the worst. And it's also like, why don't the women get to stay Well, surely they're going to do that next. Yeah, surely they're gonna do that next. They'll swap it the other way I have a feeling, talk to me. It's very early and the feelings are

very real. There is a chance that someone miss steps or misspeaks or falling in love after a few days is really fast to get there emotionally, and it might be difficult to sustain at that clip that potentially something could change in this. I know. It's just that when you watch these shows, you are like, oh, they're meant to be together, and then one of them will be like, I don't like cream in my coffee, and then you'll be like, who is this? Like you can all just

change very clearly. He's very sweet, they're very sweet. But I am also like, it's been two and a half days. What if she eats Mexican food and ships on him? Yeah, Oh,

you're right, You're right two and a half days. Look, because it takes me it's felt like two enough years of the amount of stuff I've had it out, and they are making it feel like that too, because they're like, you know, but I think when on Michelle's season, one of the things that you felt with him was that he was going to win and that because he was so nice and everything like that. So it was like, how the fund, could you say no to this guy?

It might just be like, you know, I don't know, you've been in those situations before where you're like, I probably said too much and then there is a vibe change. You could have one of those happening here. Maybe maybe that's terrible. Isn't that the worst when there's when it's like all going great and there was a vibe change. It's the word remind me we're serene from I mean, like, what season she's a teacher and she was on Clayton

Clayton's and how how far she gets? She got pretty far, but she was like she's always seemed much better than him. They had that date um like in a museum, right right? Yeah, I think so, and uh like he was it Clayton season. I think it was. I think I don't know, I think it was. Yeah. Yeah, she was clay Tar. She was Tar Clayton. She was cut like fourth I think because she made it. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, that's where I feel like we went. I feel like we

went to hometowns with her. I feel like she was cut was fantasy Suites and then all the drama by the way she got out at the right like she's damn, you don't want to be in the Winter's Circle for this guy. Also like you not want to go to be at the clay To horror. You didn't want to go to Iceland. No, clay it was it was Iceland of nightmares. And Claytre and Susie have broken up, so oh wow, how could we have seen that coming? I mean, like, you slept with my sister's like, I didn't know how

the world works. I have not one of you. My people are different. We have warse emotions too, we have we not know it's wrong to sleep with outther family Cleigtori us sleep with Clegtor's brother Cleigtor not mad Claytor's brothers Slide and Teddy's d m. Yeah, brothers like come to the palace, come behind the moat Hillary Clinton's coat. It's like, I don't like Hillary Clinton, can't page. I love this womans brother. I'm bro to Why they're not

like us? Clayton doesn't have answers for Brot. I'm just following your lead. Brother. There can only be one clay You're not like I was like we see in her background wiping her eyes. She's like it's folly farther farther from reality. Both up you quiet fos Tar, Yeah, you have no nutting from us false tars the dead the dad. Yeah, sharkly, you've learnt nothing from your mother and I and the mom. The mom. The mom is fully human, Betty Hire You guys, how long are you going to be in here? The

domino has arrived, like twenty minutes? Are you having one of those? Okay? Sorry? She sounds like the American flags like scar fond the fun American flag scarf and then she had fall star. I just came from the Olympics. What did I miss? What did I miss? Oh? No, bro Tar has been killed. Yes, I bested him today. He's the one point bang. It's good that Serene didn't

have it. Now I remember she's also like four ft tall and Clay art is So if you to like lower him down, like we're just gonna rope his hooves into this, otherwise you'll kick you during this. He's really I'll start kicking, like at Katie. She's just staring out the window. Sorry, my dog are wiping her eyes and this is Katie. He's like, I gotta go. Katie's like, that's not this season. Enough all bits gaed o, No, wasn't shitting in the house. Don't worry. Rob's not over there.

You're good. Oh well, what do you think is? I mean, look, what do you think it's going to happen now that they does anybody do you think that that um Brandon and Serene standards? I think they're gonna get engaged there the only couple is there if anybody else that's going to get engaged, I think, and I think they're gonna end up together forever, like they honestly seem like soulmates. If they don't end up together, I don't believe in love.

Why they're already have so few promising couples? Why fuck it up next week? Like let it just play out? It's mean, I don't like it. And trailer like what everyone's waiting for? Nobody wants us, it's me who's talking about that? What everyone's talking about? They're fucking it up? And they watched Love Island and they were like, we gotta Love Island and then I've never seen Love Island. Does it ever work out with the original group or

just sometimes sometimes it does will always win? No, sometimes there are been a I mean, I honestly, I like, have watched three seasons and the last season I watched, which I said, the last time I watched, I was like, I'm never watching the show again, and I will never watch the show again. But some of them have ended up together. Yes, did they hook up with somebody new

and then circle back. That happens. But there have been some who like the first person they've met, they've stayed with the whole time, and then they have gone on to like get married. There's there's a couple in England now, Tommy and Maggie May and they've been like together the whole time. Cut all right, Um, well, so who are we predicting. We're only predicting Serene at this point. That's who I put my money on. Yeah, that's definitely the leading couple for sure. I think it would be funny

if like Victorian and um, what's the same Johnny Johnny? Yeah, if like they made I mean, like they honestly seem great together, that'd be kind of funny if they ended up actually together. Those aren't they're both from Florida, right, isn't she from the She's from She's from Virginia Beach member because she had sex or whatever. That Johnny Pizza guys who was a rapper, white rapper. I want that guy is just the worst pizza guy. After like watching his own season, how did he come on this show?

And was like I should still talk about pizza? Was so brutal. Was he the guy that threw the trophy or whatever? You know? He threw the shirt, the jacket, the jacket, Remember he got a hissy fit about something it was hitting this other guy. Were just fighting the whole time. And I believe the only thing um um we haven't talked about now is um is a Chaney

and Logan and James. Yeah, I'm already for James. I think Logan's deterred and him like planting the bottle in the and when he I thought it was a snake she pulled out, but then it's his bracelet, Like I just I actually think James seems more fun and totally. Logan seems very Logan seems a void of personality. He's attractive, but he certainly doesn't seem like someone you'd be like, that was a great point, Logan. Yeah, I think James

is at least like that's a great point, Logan. I think James is at least, I mean, he thought her name was Loose and he like doubled down and he didn't know how to get out of it. He was like, you just can you legally change your name to Lose? And she was like what he was like, Yeah, yeah, I don't like his hair. I'm Jim James. Who who would you pick? Anna? Oh? Who would I pick? That's tough because I think James is a bit of a caricature of a human being, if like what like, I'm

a baby businessman. And it was also like he arrived in the box. He was the one that got shipped in the box and the three piece suit in the spat. But there's something about a three piece suit and that amount of gel in your hair that is such a turn off for me. I can't a three piece suit, that amount of gel, that haircut and spat. He stayed in the box the whole night and when everybody was sweating, right, that's right, Yeah, that's crazy, Yeah right, Honestly, that should

be disqualifying for life. Yeah, this is not someone you want to like be making decisions with. He's like a fifties gangster, Like, what is happening? Why is this still your aesthetic. Yeah, and he does have a tribal leg tattoo, the entire leg and his best friend is Air. There's a lot, but the thing is feels like a nice guy, however, much better than Logan. I still pick him overlooking Logan feels cokey. Yeah, Logan feels cokey, like he was probably

drinking the pool water. They were like Logan Logan, Logan, He's like, what, that's not the one you can drink? Like. I feel like he's going to get new strings of COVID, Like, just like from being shady, you have Logan covid. He feels like Logan LogD He's shade. There's just something really cokey shady about him to me. Yeah, again, that's just a guess. I don't know anything. There's no facts. It's

based on no facts. Like I'd rather take James and his love of Aaron and his tribal tattoo and his spats and his weird haircut, and well, it depends what you want. Do you want alone? Do you want like a human doll who you can kind of boss around, or do you want someone who's gotta be like no, no, we're not, don't get in the box. Who's the human

doll Logan? Oh, I felt like James was a human dollar well as far as like what's going on in the head, I feel like Logan is the one where you could just kind of position his arms and whatever way you wanted to, Okay, hold them like that. You'd be like, that's right, Logan, just stand there like that. I would pick James and his stupid haircut and his spats because I think Logan is I don't like his like tweeny mustachount. They should put the black bar over it,

should put a black barber his face. Yeah. Do you think she's going to pick I think it's going to be Logan, right. I think he gave her his weird bracelet, his bead bracelet. Yeah, yeah, I think I think it'll be Logan. It depends when those other girls in are they are Both of those dudes feel like they could sway pretty easily. Um, good news, I just I mean good news for you guys. I just found out that two of the tickets are going to be available, so

they're not using them so we can raffle them off. Heck, yeah, do you want to pick him right now? Anna? I think i'd have to do my recent I have to like go into my m okay, great, okay great? Do the like sort of like Romeo math where I'm like do I want Well? Will you guys help us pick our tweet of the weeks? Sure? Thank you. By the way, oh my god, we're getting so many reviews. We're getting their run our mission. Here's some of the reviews we got.

But we have the best fans. You know that we're trying to We were trying to get to now we're trying to get to Well, we're gonna make it. They said, uh too, We're up to two thousand, one hundred and two reviews. Are you kidding me? That has been? That is like people are really showing up? Can you believe it? Katie and Ada? I mean, look, the champs, as I've dubbed our listeners are the best. That's amazing. I love it. Keep doing it, guys. Go to the Apple Store review

us on all of the iPhones. I'm exactly. And so you go, you open up your podcast thing. You open, you go down to the bottom you like, and then it says the reviews you tap to rate, and then underneath that it says write a review that was helpful when Whitney asked us how to do it. Okay, here's a really fun one. Here's from Michelle. Five stars. Why did it take me so long to write a review?

Here we go. I've been listening to this pod from the beginning, and I am sorry for not becoming a champion fast enough, and I'm taking this long to write a review. You know what, We're all We are all a champion in our own time. Um. This is by far my favorite podcast and I look forward to it every week. Arden, Katie Dr Banana and all of the guests, especially my favorite Aaron Fully, Jim Jeffries and Rob Benedicts are amazing and the laps over here just don't stop.

This is the best Bachelor podcast ever and I still watch this show so solely to listen to this. Thank you so much for much happiness and laughter weekly from this tired mom of two. So sweet. Um, all right, here's a really fun one. Five stars. Arden should be given a job on E love the pod, your guests, and the producers. You all seem to do your homework on the show so while also bringing your hilarious hot

takes to us. I love Ros being such a nube please make sure she accepts the mission of watching this dumpster fire. She is the only one who has ever done Unaware Newbies so well. How sweet is that people seem to really enjoy Ros, which was so cute. Ross is great, She's hilarious. I gotta have Ros back asap. I totally agree. Here's a five star one uh five stars the best the best Bachelor recap show. This show is so freaking funny Arden. Our guests are hystorical and

I love when they just go off the rails. My favorite episodes on the dream Team Rob Benedict, Doug Benson, and Gareth Uh. Doug will be here next week, but all the guests are funny and insightful. Adore this show. Thank you for making me snort laugh each and every week. Come on, we love our fans. I did stand up last night and there were some really sweet fans that couldn't get tickets to the live show, but they came to my stand up and they were just sweet as

can be. We we have the best fans, and we love when we get our emails. You can email us at Rose podcast at gmail. This is from Claire W. The Dessert of Bachelor podcasts. Hello, longtime listener, first time emailer. First of all, I wanted to say I'm a big fan of the podcast. I don't remember when I started listening, but I will say I listened to a bunch of Bachelor podcasts and I always saved this one for last as a treat to myself for getting through the more

serious ones. None of the others makes me laugh out loud, and for that, I thank you UM writing. Because they wanted to get uh. She wanted to add her name name UM. She wanted to be at her name to possibly get a ticket for the show because she's sold out. She's She's thrilled that it's sold out. She's gonna wear her O G Smoke Show shirt that day regardless. Bless you all as a recap two nights of b I p weeks sending thoughts and prayers. Are your fan forever. Claire, Claire,

you're in the running. You're in the running for all the uh animal throw you on the pile and she's Claire. Can you DM me on my Instagram at Selling Hosting if you haven't already, because so I can keep track of you on there. Because I have a bunch of people and I want to make sure you're on my list. All right, I'm gonna text you her name too. I'll do it, right do. I just want to make sure I don't miss anyone who is looking for tickets. I've been able to do a few exchanges on my Instagram,

so guys, it is possible. There are people who are unfortunately unable to go last minute, and I have been able to do some exchanges. I am doing it on a first come, first served basis, so just so you know, but you never know, so keep dming me. We have a few more days. I gotta also say, uh, come to Dynasty typewriter. We're gonna be doing either moment House or some kind of hybrid with Dynasty. But if we can sell out Dynasty, because that's how our agents, um,

that's how our agents know that they can book us. Like, if we can prove to venues that we sell out, we can go on a little tour and come to your city and play with you, which would be really fun. So December nine, calm l a and we'll see you then. Okay, let's go to tweeter of the week. Okay, are you ready to try to win a sleep crown for Tweeter of the Week, Our Dream Queen Julie. Our Dream Queen Julie will send you a sleep Crown. So if you win Tweeter of the Week, you email us your mailing

address at Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. Rob, this is the time to talk about the sleep Crown and the dream Portal. Rob, you were you were newer because Gareth was an early convert. Well, yeah, I got one a few months ago and gave it to my girlfriend. I lost it to my girlfriend, so she she uses it and she loves it. So I just got my own, like a few weeks ago, and it's awesome. I love it so much. Yeah, I got the black one. It's

the travel size. I love the travel one and I also like to hold it like it's sort of I like it that it's like a stuffed animal. It's like a banky because I get anxiety. Okay, Garrett, dreams have you do you sleep every night with your have a travel one? I have a home one. When I'm on the road, I'm like, I'm glad i have it. But when i get home, I'm like, I'm glad I got the big Boy. I can't say enough about the Sleep Crown. It's like a waited sleep mass pillow. You put it

on your face. It has the patent and nose gap technology, which we all hear about all the time. Thank god they got that patent. And uh, it is the best. I love it. It is the greatest. I it has changed the game. Last night, I had a dream that my friend I saw, Like my dreams are crazier and deeper, and I had a dream that I saw my friend Michael Connell waiting in line at some Korean food truck and he was getting a big like a whole crab basically, and I don't eat fish, and I tried half of it.

Dreams like that would not be possible, that the Sleep Crown and their nosegap technology, which again is patented. Julie. I met Julie and Irvine. She came to a show. She was very nice. She wanted to pay for a poster. I gave it to her for free because she's given me five thousand dollars in sleep ground stuff and uh, and it is amazing. I've got the big body pillow. My cat loves the big body pillows, so he kind of taken it away from me. But the Sleep Crown

is a game changer. I know. I have to say. Julie says she's going to come to the Dynasty Typewriter show. I'm not there that night. Dracula is there, but I'm sure he'd love to meet her. Well, Dracula, he is somebody that needs he needs a sleep crowd's he's got to do it by day two, so it really helps that nosegap technology. Again, that's also fangift technology, so that's helpful for him. Yeah, Katie, do you have a sleep crown?

I do? Um, Yeah, I have the Trouble one and I really like it, Like I especially love it during the day if I want to take a nap. Yeah, it's great for naps for that because it blocks out the light, the sun, like the sound, and it just like it kind of it calms, you know, help It makes you like one of those birds when they just throw a sheet over the cage and the birds like

you become that. That's what I feel like, like, especially if I'm like, oh, I don't have a lot of time to take a nap, I really want a nap though, I'll put that on. I'm like a sleep and like two minutes. Yeah, I really enjoy holding my travel sleep crown and and then I liked I really mine is a pink and white stripe case. It's so soft, um, and we're giving one away at the show Sunday night. So if you're coming to Union Hall where your Champ merch,

we're gonna pick somebody wearing their Champ mark. And then they were going to give away. We have a full sized sleep crown from the Dream Queen that we're going to give away. Rob, you looked so cute in your Champ shirt by the way on stage. I love it. I love it so much. There's like a four they're like off right now. If you go to our website, Rose Podcast Dot Vodka and you go to the merch page there like it's on sale right now for like off,

so you should get one. All here we go. Are you guys ready to help us get pick our Twitter of the week? Oh man, we had Okay, here we go. Pull him up. This is a visual one. This is from Alex at Jewel Tone Champ. They should have let wells reenact Ashley and Jared's story just like they did with Sally's suitcase. Look how funny that picture is. It's so funny. Townership wells like with a pregnancy belt. But

I actually thought they were going to do that. I was like, Oh, it's gonna be him dressed up Ashley, I crying, Yeah, exactly. So then this was another. This is from seth vot is a photo of Jacob doing squats on the beach and it says do we call this broga pose, pray and sligh or smash and dash um. Then we have Ryan Paulson at our puls and photo of Victoria f I'm open to everything. I've never been this way before. I can even see myself dating a

man who isn't married yet. This is from Lauren Jene Johnson at words by l j J Producers pre Paradise toxic contestants. Guys, remember to not pursue anyone. Ladies, be sure your bikini tops are upside down. And if your birthday is not during filming, a new birthday will be a side to you. Everyone. It's like every day they're like and whose birthday is it today? It's so good. This is also Lauren Jene Johnson. I'm sorry, but do Aaron and James exclusively shower together on this beach? Do

everything together? This is from Julie at Sassina Glass, Well, there actually wasn't an ocean here before Ashley cried, um, this is bachelor cinematic universe at Hannah Hot takes Casey is real judge for someone's whose whole vibe is if Michael Sira was an energy vampire and final to Jean at Aunt Gayle's. The Genevieve and Sane friendship is proof that it's easy for toxic girls to be friends if they aren't competing for a centaur cause playing as Hillary Clinton. Yes, yeah,

I like it. Um Or Corey Maidens at Corey Maiden's Siras since Michael's impending melt in and deployed a preemptive technical glitter bomb, her body glitter is unmatched. She looks, her skin, everything about her. I'm like, Sarah is what we should strive for as the human race. She own universe. Yeah, I feel like for sure new Birthday, and then second one would be Hillary Clinton litter Bob. I like the

Hillary Clinton. Okay, here we go. Jane at Aunt Gayl's, the Genevieve and Cheney friendship is proof that it's easy for toxic girls to be friends if they aren't competing for a centaur caused playing as Hillary Clinton or Lauren Geene Johnson at words by l j J producers pre paradise talk to contestants. Guys, remember to not pursue anyone. Ladies, be sure your bikini tops are upside down, and if your birthday is not during filming, a new birthday will

be assigned to you. New birthday or Hillary Clinton, Gareth new Birthday. It just it got me twice. Robbie b b New Birthday, Katie new Birthday, Tanna, I gotta go new Birthday. I gotta go new birthday you when Johnson I worked. But LGJ produces pre parties to contestance guys, remember do not pursue anyone. Ladies, be sure you're Bokini top strup sid down and if your birthday is not during filming, a new birthday will be assigned to you. Gareth, thank you so much for joining us. What would you

like to promote? Thank you, Arden, uh and everybody. You can follow me at Reynolds Gareth. My special will be coming out soon. It's fantastic. The Dollar for my podcast is on tour starting next week. Uh in like Columbus Pittsburgh Michigan and then like Nashville and Indianapolis and Kansas City. So go to Dollar podcast dot com for ticket information and Gareth will be performing with us at Dynasty Typewriter

on December nine. And just to make everybody comfortable performing, we would love if you guys would wear a mask and well they'll have proof of vacs just so that everybody's safe and sound for the holidays. That would be so awesome, So we would love for that to happen. Rob, what would you like to promote? Well, you can find me on Instagram at row Benedict or Twitter Rob Benedict. Some fun projects coming up I can't talk about yet, but in the meantime you can listen to our supernatural

rewatch podcast called Supernatural Then and Now. And he're also going to be competing for my heart at the birthday. I'm so ready for this. December nine. We're probably thinking around seven, so you guys can still go out to holiday parties. Um, but plan around it. We need to sell it out so we can go on tour, but the tickets are not up yet, so just like make

but it's officially that's when we're doing it. Um Dr Banana, what would you like to promote I'm at an hosting on Twitter, at selling hosting on Instagram, but also check out our Patreon. We're talking about Southern charm and then we're going into a Winterhouse Baby, which I've never seen and it's your in Brendan's favorite show. So you guys are gonna guide me through it. You're so excited. I love Winter So just Brendant, so just Brendon. They both

love it like they fucking love Yeah, it's great. Come if you couldn't get tickets to see us at Union Hall, come uh this Saturday at five to Bravo Con and watch me be um sonya Morrigan don't Oh, it's legitimately like I have a chill. I can't even I'm so funny excited. It's gonna take everything I mean not to flash the crowd manner like you know how she always gets drunk at Luia shows and flashes the crowd. It's gonna be really hard to like keep my scars down.

It's and it's gonna be bad. I'm and I'm wearing any on your morgan. Um, Katie, what would you like to promote? I am Katie underscore money on Twitter and Instagram. Please go to your local shelter and adopt or foster a dog. Literally across the country, especially with big dogs. All the shelters are really really full and they really need fosters and adopters. And like we said before, make sure you vote in the upcoming election. It's only a

few weeks away. You can check your voter registration at vote dot gov. Um. You know you googled how to find your local polling place. Make sure you get your ballot. Just please vote. It's so important. I did it today. So December ninth, Dynasty Typewriter, around seven pm, we're doing a live, improvised full season. We have Gareth, we have Rob. I think we might have Lance Bath. I think Aaron fully might be doing it, so there'll be a full night.

We're just sort of putting it together now. We're also doing sketch fst January twenty nine. Robs Garett, we'd love to bring you up. You wanted to come, It's a Sunday if you're available. January twenty nine. We adore you. You can think about it, but we're invited. I feel very on the spot. You don't have to say yes. You don't have to say yes, but to have you, you don't have to say yes. Don't worry about I don't want to buy you a star. I'm not buying you a star. My son can handle not buying you

a star. I'm not buying you a star. You don't need to come. It's not coming. Don't worry about it. All right until next time. My name is arn Raine. Goodbye, fine, Oh it all up tonight. I just got one little bushi girl where you re lost your world, lost your world? Will you accept this? Rose is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast from my heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.