"Sloppy Segundos!" With Bryan Safi

They are so they're They're based out of San Francisco. They use recycled materials. They have like there's a sustainable swim brand. But when you go and look at the cuts, it's like, I feel like it's something that women would like. It's like you do you feel cool and sexy, but it's not like super like, you know, trashy because buying a bathing so it was a vulnerable thing, and I feel like most people would feel comfortable and cool in these. Definitely I was torn between. I'm torn because I have

the corky body. I chose this rad one piece. I hope my body fits in it. If not, I might have to get for myself. The high waisted bikini, which is so freaking cute. I've never worn one of those. You wear them? Yeah, I wear them. I really like the highwaisted bikini bottom. You too. What do you like about them? It's it's comfortable and it goes up and you don't ever feel like you're gonna like flash anyone. Yeah,

it's comfortable. I think you're a chic too, honestly. And the colors I like when you look at the website, the color like they're they have, you know, classic black, it's like that, but the Hunter green is so pretty. They've got this beautiful blue and you can sort of mix and match just different cuts. And it's a perfect time to buy a swimsuit because you guys, you don't dreaming about being a bachelor in Paradise. Let's be real.

We're all in our own brains putting together our swim where uh suitcase for if we've got to go, you know, flirt with grocery store Joe Plus if you guys order, And this is the most exciting code we've ever had. Our listeners are going to get cent off with the code bone Zone. That's b O N E. Z O n E. Don't act like you don't know. It's all one word code bone zone for off Pally Swim. Visit www dot pally Swim dot com that's p A l

I Swim dot com and shop their adorable suits. Used the called bone zone for fifteen percent again at Pally Swim. And they're also gonna be at outside Land Twitches up in San Francisco where we were last year with my um ex husband Dean August tenth through the twelve at the West Coast Craft tent at the Polo Field stage and mentioned this podcast and in person you can get fifteent off and these your friends Anna, Yes, support them. They're great girls. Yeah. And they came out of Levi's.

They used to work at Levi's. Yes, they know what they're doing. They know how to build a good brand and it's just cool, like we I I love supporting women doing their thing. Go be boss, ladies. I'm so excited from a suit and uh, and I hope this corgy you know what, it wouldn't be the first time my torso didn't fit in and maybe maybe it's maybe I'm supposed to wear a highways to bikini. Well, I guess we'll find out. Yes we will. By Holle So fun. I had a great time. These are so good. These

are so good. God, it's so hot out it's black hole fun out there, black hole sun. I went to America's Tired today, which is where you go to get your tires done, and I ran into before I had America's time dragging. Where is America's Tire? Everyone should go your tire and nail fingernail my fail, my toe nail. Hello, Oh my god, my favorite show of the year is back, and quite honestly, I feel like it's been two years because it was tainted last year last and it did

not disappoint. My name is Arta Marine. I'm sorry for the delay and the relief east of this, but I could not be more excited by what is about to happen with me as a man who's sexy with a mustache or without, who is set. I'm a little dirtier with it. You're a little You're a lot dirtier. He Also, if you guys are on Patreon, we are about to start reviewing Bachelor Australia. We've just watched the first episode.

I mean, it was so good, It's so good. And the bachelor is so much hotter than our bachelor want to and he was sweet. Oh my god, you heard the nodding of Tanna. Tanna, Sanna with a Tanna, are you well? Thank you so much for having me, Tanna. I like your shirt. Thanks. I made into a crop top. Oh my god, I love a craptop. I went shopping. I don't want to brag, guys. I went to Marshalls and I got myself some cute. This is a twelve dollar top from Marshall's a cute. It's great, you make it.

Oh my god, I have three que tops and Marshals that I got. I went on like a deep dive Marshalls bender. Everything was twelve ninety nine. I got all the tops. I think they'll carry an odor with them even if I wash or dry clean them, so that one summer thing on, one and done. But I think, honestly, I would have never guessed Marshalls. Thank you. You gotta mix and match high low like mod clothes. Thank you. I went last night to the Instageable premiere. I went

high low and I wore my exciting dress. I wore pay less shoes and a Goodwill purse. Guys, fabulous. I have a plea to our listeners. Okay, first of all, the show is so fun. I gotta tell you, I'm like I had never seen it. They showed two episodes. It's so fun. It's like soapy, campy teen revenge fun. Here's the thing. If you like your art marine and you want her to not be evicted from her home, you don't even have to wat watch it. Here's what

I learned about Netflix. Apparently you have to watch the entire season for it to count. You have. So here's my favorite ask when you go to bed tonight, press start on the season and just let it go all the way through so it logs in as I finished. Each household gets one click and then if you want to go back and watch it, but will you please just have your computer watch it. You gotta get those clicks. You just need the clicks. We need the clicks because

I need a job. I'll do it tonight, will you, Yeah, just press play and just let it go through all the way and then you can take your time. But I'm in. I have the most fun part. I'm in the whole thing. So if you would like to watch that, begree If you don't, that's fine, does press plays? I want to watch it. You have to burn through now. But even if it's not for you, maybe make it.

I also want to say a lot of my fun stuff is in the second half of the season, so so like if maybe maybe you're like, Okay, we're on episode five, I don't know, keep going because there's some Shenan's that are coming with me in the Pistol. Rookie

of the Year Debbie Ryan. So last night at the premiere, Debbie Ryan was there and she was telling me how she went on like a a publicity tour to New York for the show, and they were at like Good Morning America and they went to some they went to some event with Dallas Roberts was the start, and he

said that he started. She actually brought this up to me that Debbie, they were at this event and they were it was like a TV thing and you know, like almost like a Live with Regis or whatever when Regis isn't on, but you know, they have like the audience there, and he said Debbie's Debbie got all flustered and her eyes filled with tears because she sawbed Becca and Garrett and she got all flustered, and meanwhile, all these like young girls are there for Debbie, and Debbie,

you know, Debbie knows all these celebrities. And Dallas said that she was like, oh my god, oh my god. And then she went on the show and she was flustered, and then the announcer was like, are you okay? And then Debbie goes, I've just witnessed her love journey. We've created a monster. She met Becca. She said she met Garrett, that Garrett was actually really sweet, that he seemed simple but sweet, that he didn't his brother signed him up for it. But I just love that we That was

who made Debbie star struck. I also have to say, there's nothing makes me star struck more than a reality star. I don't know why. I don't know what that is, because they're real. Yeah, when we've met the Bachelor of people, when we haven't met a new one in a while, I need a new one. I think I would literally like push Denzel Washington aside to be like, oh my god, it's you to like some Rejordan for Jordan. Can you

Jordan's Well? I got Chelsea Lately finale they had like it was like Sandra Bullock, Jennifer Anniston, like Dave Grohl and like I I was like, oh my god, you're gun It's Tim Gunn, Tim Gunn. I gotta make it work. I need to make it work. And yeah it was anyway, I really I really want to meet Jordan's I just want to say that, how how expressed? So do you have anything you want to promote? Brian? Is there anything people need to click on? Is it the saddest place

that's ever got up? Click? We're going on tour this fall growing Shade dot Com slash tour. We have really exciting guests and uh, you know your guests when you go on tour, how do you do that? I do it? And I really just basically go on IMD. I tried it. Whatever I get any friends, I can to be like could you know? And then um. In these cities and then usually ended, because our show is like comedic but also political, I try to find like an out politician

in that state and usually they can come. But and then like in Portland, they have all these indie bands there, so I just like try to find the best one. And in Seattle, I know Dan Savage, I don't know that he's doing it yet does it feel stressful booking the guests? I feel like I gave myself a lot of lead time this time, so not not as much. But it's because it's mostly we have an announced all the guests, but they're mostly booked. Can I say you're

my favorite new friend? Of thanks? You're mine? Have you used your a Goldie boy bag? I took it to Una and it hangs on my front behind my front door. Such a gold boy, such a golde boy. I am Asher and such a goldie boy. I can't wait to see what you get at the end of this season. There's gonna be some new I bring you both something to you because I didn't do that. I didn't return a gift and I know I didn't any to get you Asher's book when it finally comes out off the Meds?

Did you see the thing that I sent you as off the Meds? Here's my theory. He said there were side effects. My theory is he couldn't get a boner, but he was ripped. So he said that now that he's off the Meds, but in order to maintain his like his thoughts, he's been working out, so he's ripped as ship that's a real thing. When I's ripped, as ship I sent you. That makes me feel bad about myself because I saw something in asher in what I saw in myself, and it really misses me off that

he got ripped. He's ripped. I think it's like a mania fuel though it's like he's he's saying that it doesn't mean that he doesn't need meds. He's just decided to not go on med It's a mood leveler working out. That's like what it is. You have to maintain it, everybody. I bet he's on adderall or something too. That's a horrible accusation. There's something wrong with that. I'm gonna can't. I can't get an adderall. I feel like, oh my god, cast all, let's make a run for the border. I

feel like I told you I did. I tell you that I took an ambient in Vancouver and made videos. I watched one back. It's bad. High is a kite thinking I'm nailing it video. I said, it's two sets of two people, the two male leads of my show. And by the way, I'm soaking wet, like fresh from sweater from shower shower, and I think I'm like in a towel maybe, like and it's so inappropriate, soaking wet like hit the mini bar. It's like a totally like just like she knew, like she just was on a

different journey. And I also sent it to one of my showrunners, Like I sent it to you were like ready for ready for some more? Exactly who's who are you ready to give a regular a wet lady? Or or listen a lot of exactly who's going to be responsible to show up on a time not be soaking wet and covered in choblerone like chocolate smears during What did I do? Tanna? Do you have anything you want to promote? You know, just my podcast on Middle Eastern politics?

Love it? Follow me on Instagram, I hate Twitter. You guys at art marine dot com, m y R And here we go. We're back in Paradise, guys. This is the most Callie Entes season a Bachelor in Paradise and it looks, I mean the previous for even what's to come. But this first episode was so good. It was so good. That's how they started it. They said, is the most Callie enta seas. Yes, that's what it is. Not what

Chris Harry said, Chris, I think Harry said it. I think Prince Harry said is the most like when they open he just like raking sand, like one can't rake all the pubes and like all the like DNA and then like tears, you just can't rape the scallops, the pubes, the DNA, the tears out of Also that one of Chris Harrison's opening lies was in a world of fake news, this is real. It's like, hold, I'm sorry you're saying

the news is fake. It was it was a shop Trump supporter that that was really sarr Yeah, and I'm sure was that truly a dumb funk up, you know what I mean. I don't think they knew exactly what they were saying, you know what. And that's the kind of thing I feel like I've had to read, Like

I'm sure that's the kind of thing. He didn't even get the copy beforehand and there and like oftentimes if you're reading off of a teleprompter, you don't see the script beforehand, so you're just there, You're like okay, and then they just throw to you. You just read what they put in. So that guy might have been hung out to drive by something like abe he hired some mega trumps. I agree when he when he said it, I was like, I know he doesn't know what's happening

or what it means. I'm sure he was like this is topical, but it was wild. Yeah. Maybe they were just yeah, they were just trying to be topical, but didn't really understand what the joke implied, like, oh you are what conservative? Like okay, Harrison, um So, I always love the intros. Jordan has his gold bikini and he had an American flag. He's grown on me. He looks like he lives in like an old person community in Florida. We have fake lakes just walk around. He was fascinating

because he even this is gonna be so awful. But for somebody who prides himself on being like the male model, there was a few times I was like and I like, I mean, I like the build, but there was a few times just like my boobo's get a little belly coming over that, Like you know what I mean, if you're going to be like all about if that's your whole thing, right, that made me like him more. There was something more likeable maybe like more I was like,

you hit that Tabarone too. Boo. Okay, we had Chelsea with her frozen smile Kendall, it's funny, I Kendall is saying, also like when people I love people trying to like re frame their journeys. She's like, I'm ready to move on from being Kendall the taxidermy ukulele girl. And yet the first thing she brings up with a grocery store Joe is like like picnics and you know, in a cemetery. Cemetery, It's like, well, if you want to go away from taxidermy,

or maybe don't keep bringing up death. She also said to John, she goes, I'm from San Francisco, and he goes, really, and she goes, no, but I went to school there from San Francisco. No, actually, let's try. I'll try, Brian. Where are you from San Francisco? Oh? I just went to school yard school there? Just so I just went to college there. No, I say it back, you go, are you really okay me? Where you're really from? Brian? Where are you from Texas? Where you from from Texas?

Where from? Well? I actually I just did stand up once and all all right, yeah you try with me, Ta Tanna. You try. Oh, I'm from Mexico. Now you asked me where from? Like I do it. I'll ask you where you're from, Tanna, Where did you grow up Mexico? Oh? From Mexico to where about? Actually I've never been to Mexico, but my friend bought me a Mexican ambient ones. Oh and then I have toblerons again. Who are you are from there? Yeah? That's great. I love it, um, but

I read about Mexico on sin it seems great. I'm a friend once who he grew a little like mustache and he kind of looked like Latin up some Latin descent, and then he just got very into it, and so people would be like, oh, where are you from, like you know, Mexico or something, and he'd be like he only knew the party spots. So he'd be like like kind of like nearc Yeah yeah, actually said don't Oh my god, okay, shout out to Evan. He listened to a let's say the lies We've told? Have you ever

done that? Where people will ask you a thing and then you'll be like yeah, and you're no flat out that you're lying. The worst I'll say it wasn't the worst. There were no steaks. It was the dumbest. One time I asked me what Someone asked me what I was drinking, and I said dr pepper and it was a coke and I knew it was a coke. When I said that, you've brought this before this talk you it was like

ninth grade, you've mentioned this. Yeah. I was like literally because it was the first time that I was like, dude, you have to check it because you are lying about I remember I did. I went to England for ten days with my mother. I sound like such a fucking drunk. But by the way, this is why I don't drink. It's because I'm the biggest late weight. It was when I was twenty one. I went to London with my mother for ten days. I came home my I had my I d We went to the big city was

Newport nearby. We went out drinking and we got invited to a mansion. So we like crashed this party. My friend stepped in dog ship on the way up. We like nobody wanted us at this party. I had on like a silver space suit. My friends stepped in dog ship and he didn't know what to do with it, so he just held it in his hand and he walked through the party and somebody goes art and do you want you want a cop of gin toon? I feel like we're at a tonic. I was like, that's

not a problem. So I had a tumbler of gin. And then this guy like this man started talking to me and I he was and I started talking like like he was an architect and his name was Charles. I was pretending to be British. I was like, oh, you know, I just ticked the lift like I was no but I and my friend said that she looked over like my friend my friends standing on my friend holding the dog ship in his hand. He was like looking for a planter to like stick the dog shit in.

And my friend said it was I grew up with her, like this was my child's the best ones from the time I was nine. She said. It was as if it was like we were in the matrix. It was just slow motion and she wanted to like save me, like no, hard no, I mean like you know, I just we've got the telly and I'm just going to take the tube and I mean it's like you know exactly, and we got we went we went to your step. We went to hospital. Did you say that hospital? No,

we went to hospital. I went to Uni. She said she watched it was so clearly. You've heard my accents, they're not that good. It's clearly. She said. It was like slow motion and she couldn't stop me. What's the guy like? Are you like? What are you doing? It was so slash And then his wife was right there. He had like an actual ascot like he was like, I'm like an ascot, like like the rich guy from

Gilligan's Island. He actually was wearing one. And then when we were driving home my brother, we were in this camera station wagon. I made him pull over and I vomited on the International Tennis Hall of Fame and nice. That's I was like, I'm not that good at drinking. I used to because I I started getting gray hair very young. It was just the thing. And also everyone always tell me like, oh, it seems so much older.

So I would just tell people I was older than I really was, because I just didn't want to have to explain, like why I had all this gray hair. You're like, husband, grow I know my kids. I'm so excited. My oldest is graduating from Notre Dame in the Fall. Yeah, that was like my whole thing where I was just really, yeah, I'm thirty five. How old were you? I was twenty two, but like everything I would say, I was like late

thirties or like forties. I think one time said I was forty and someone was like, what are you doing at this college party? You were waiting it, you were at it, we were lost. You're the only woman in Los Angeles who's like twenty two and saying I'm forty. It was like every time I would be like twenty one, they'd be like, well, you have a ton of gray hair and you look older, and you're like, my son is here, he's um, he's got a chancefer he's been

at community college. You're saving up? Yeah, he were saving up and so he's been. I'm just you know, I put my dreams aside to raise the kids. But it's mommy's time. Oh my god, did anybody believe you? Well? I mean it feels just like people in passing, they'd be like okay, yeah, and then you know, you'd slowly just move on to another conversation. I wouldn't do it to people. I thought I would continue knowing it would just like I'll never forget my forty at birthday. You

know what I did to kill pray Love. I went to Tuscany. I was divorced from Charlie by then. Brian was four years before I was held hostage and Starbucks. It was more like I'd be like, yeah, I'm thirty eight, and they'd be like oh, and I'd be like mm hmmm, and then I just would not elaborate cause I was just trying to actually get out of the conversation without talking. It's weird. How many times a year do you think

you lie a lot? And I'll say that, but I usually think that lie when I need to be kind another words, I have to go. I have this other thing. It's a lie. By the way, I want you to know for me, you can cancel on anything. Ever, you don't even need to know that. I actually know that with you, I don't care. My inner circle has become the people that I can do with. Can I tell you how I'm happy I am about Marshals right now? And I can't wait to go to another Marshal. There's

actually a thing. Is there someone um that we work with here that I actively will take a fake phone call to get out of a conversation with them. I'll be like me, you know what, I got to take this and just go literally stand on the bath me and just hold the phone to my ear and just stare out I done it like that that. I'm just like, really got to Oh my god, it's not the big of an office to just exactly and it's not that great a conversationless on the phone. She's very intense. She

can't stop talking. She's always on the she know, doesn't even text anyone. She doesn't even tear. She's because she's fifty eight. When you have a millennial company, but you've got a fifty eight year old working here. All those gray hairs. Her grandson actually just graduated from high school. She gives me her old a R. I love tanner. I'm worried about her skincare. Her tanna is not out of control. I won't have any face. So she's had because firs tannish. Because she tans, you think she'd had

more wrinkles. That's so those news show. I've really worked her deviated septom from her coke problem. It had scept him. Um, okay, so here we are. We're back Kenny Kenny Kenny's on We met Kenny and outside Land. He's wonderfully He's so charming in person. His daughter seems so much older. She's like an adult. She like, Dad, can you just like stop go? Yes? She did. She did seem like a grown woman. M Kenny um um. Kevin says, I really wanted to marry Ashley. I but crystals in Paradise and

she's hot and wit. Kevin threw her Ashley under the bus. He says, kissing is still cheating to me. I liked that. I was like, you know what I heard. I'd heard that he came that Jared came back from Paradise from Australia. Like nobody was like, yeah, I need to be wanted again. Who wants to me the most? Who literally is stalking me as we speak? And I don't. I actually think honestly, even though she's sort of a nightmare, I do think it was a big win for him to get Ashley.

I I think she's cool, I think she's smart. I agree with you, she's the one that's going to play. He knew that. He was like going down and she's she's funny and she's going places sound like a whale. Sound happening? Where is that Royal Caribbean? Right? Oh my god? Like dolphins? Yeah, it did sound like a little mode. Okay, what were this underwater? What did you think of Garrett's

dolphins screaming when they were on the yacht? This is all I have to say about Wait, Garrett's when Garrett was on from The Final Bachelor when he dolphins, do you want to put your headphones on? You'll love it? I'm sorry you don't have too. I thought, Garrett, Um, this is what dr me crazy about Grett. I saw them on Kimmel recently and and Kimmel was like, do you think you'll hyphen your last names? Or what do

you think you're gonna do? Or you'll take his? And she was like, I kind of want to hipeen eight blah blah blah. And then Jimmy Kimmel goes, maybe you'll take her name and he didn't even like she looked the maddest I've ever seen anyone. Are you serious? We'll talk about it later? Oh my god. Yeah, I was like, cheez, have toa we got that up? Can you google that? It does feel like I will say this, here's what we're final thing. Rachel Onesday. I don't think wrote that article,

by the way, and we're fine. I don't think she wrote it. I think somebody wrote it about her number two. I did go back looking at all the tweets that Garrett liked. It really runs a gamut of everything you wouldn't want somebody to like. It is truly like. Because that's what's extra confusing was because he was so sweet. It literally was every variety he hit that you would not want somebody to be a fan of. No, it's like he was in that Fred Phelps like God hates

you know why. Yes, it was crazy the Cray. Okay, so then we're getting to paradise. Here's what I don't like when people try to like restart their story. Chris goes when I, okay, Crystals isn't paradise. I'm a I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a dog mom. That her full voice. Yeah, Chris Goes, I was pretty intense on the Bachelorette. But I'm really this is what and he's trying to make this stick and I hate it. I'm really a silly goose, and the goose is silly and funny and crazy, not

a negative thing, the goose. And he's in a swan boat. It's not even a goose boat that he's in. He goes the goose is flying south for the summer, and they keep he kept calling himself that you can't give yourself a nickname like the goose. There's nothing worse than someone trying to be funny for the first time in their lives and to give themselves a nickname, nickname and do do a cartwheel like like it was like watching someone impersonate like Molly Shannon with the armpit thing. Do

you know what I mean? It was like, this is my thing. She's brilliant, and it was like, what are you doing? Why are you trying to be funny? You're not funny, That's how. And he's trying to go so far away from like the roid rage. It's like, you don't need to be whimsical the goose. I don't need to just be fucking normal, just cool. And just like I was a little intense, I'm trying to turn it down. I don't need the Goose. No, I don't want the girl.

I don't only have one thought. And Chris and it's once a psycho always and if your dad is never coming back, Tanna. I'm sorry, Chris. I really hate Tanna for the way I like this. Tanna was on screen. I was like, you, well, Tanna, is it an age where she could I mean, she really wants you to be to so Karen more. That's about Tanna, and you don't know, it's just gonna come out of her mouth. I had to like prep her before each show. And Tanna,

don't mention people's ethnicity, don't mention religion. Jannam like most of your thoughts in Danna, I really have to just be like, we have to put people's names out. She doesn't describe I mean Tanna described them by the race. No, but she is. I mean, your clothes friends were judged judy and clothes spends were close friends with. And that was my era. Here's the best part. And I know my mom listening, Mom, you know, I love you. Here was the best part. When I was a kid, there

was no kids. There was no kids, like I'm sure there was a lot of kids that actually needed help, you know, there was like no kids that were on the spectrum. People didn't know what was going on. So my mom would be like, ah, I'll let do a fake name, like something's wrong with Bobby. That kid, that kid, he's a real drip. He's always barking at the vacuum cleaner. And now I look back, I was like that poor

fucking kid. And by the way, that kid like lift in a trailer that sold that had a sign, a handmade sign on cardboard that said meat rabbits for say, and he was barking at the vacuum cleaner. That poor kid didn't have it easy. But it's like, yeah, that's like, you know, so I got we got a school. Tanna did not describe people as like I drip that market at the vacuum cleaner. World barket at the vacuum cleaner. Okay,

here we come. There was awesome. Another kid he's like, oh, he's always climbing up and down the gym rope, just rubbing himself. There was a kid that was always she was right though. There were those kids that would just rub their dicks up and down the gym rope like they could, and they were like little monkeys. They didn't even need the night. There was the one with the knots on the one without and they could just scurry up and just slide it down. People would do that.

You could tell, Yeah, you could tell. It was so clear who was in. They're like shorty shirts, wrapping it around, just landing on each rope, on the knot on each knot, just jamming it down. Okay, there was never the girls. It was never the girls, although they probably would have enjoyed it. I feel like it's you know what, Yeah, they were like humping the mats for helping the horse. They had to do the vault or humping the vault. They were they were going running to the vault and

just landing. It's like they couldn't take up. Just like no, Cyndy car, She's not gonna clear, but she could clearly clearance. Definitely. She deliberately drops right, just slam clearly, just slams down on scoop. That's her floor routine. It's just scooting back and forth on the fault on the pummel horse. That okay, here we go. So he the goose is flying south of the summer. And then we have David. Well, I'm back at home living in Boca Rage and my mom

my mom cooks, Hey mom, I need some cookies and milk. David, I made you some fresh fruit salad. I already feel like I'm living on paradise. Unfortunately I can't marry my mom, so I have to go to paradise. Unfortunately I can't marry my mom. I think he is actually the worst one of all great. I agree, there's something so disgusting about him, and like his that he lives with his mom, Like, what are you doing? Dude? Also that whole I can't marry my mom. It's like, well, it's Florida, see probably

fucking probably David. Why don't at this? They're just so you have no interest in And it's David and Chris. I don't know. Nick was a real ship. My god, we knew it, though we knew it because he didn't and it didn't wait which one was Nick's? We only know how to find you a track? Here was shark guys. Okay, so we we clocked him, but he never when we did our preseason picks for the last season, we really go deep diving, and his entire description of himself was

that he was a weekend warrior. So he was my pick to be drunk the first night and fall in the pool. But he didn't do anything. But I see he's a real dirt bag. Yeah, he's like, there's something off. I think it's maybe just wasted. There's a show for you. It's called Jersey Shore. You're on the wrong. He's on the wrong, getting in his own way because he's actually great looking. It's just like everything else ruins it. He's cute and I burped as I said the word he's

I said he's cute, and I executed it again. That was really good that that would think I did a really good job, you guys. Something to get me a pummel horse to land on the first and second tribe was epic. I gotta drag myself back and forth and celebrate this weekend on that pommel horse, as my Netflix is just running through and through instatable over and over, getting them clicks, riding back and forth, and if you're a decent person, it's clicking. It's running through at home,

and it's running through on an I thank you. I need that, I need that, I need I need that. Okay, so then we go I can't. Fortunately, so then we see Jordan's at home cooking his rubber chicken because he hates David. I mean, when they make them play up these rivalries. I hate these fake player. Are you still looking for Becca? I hate it the first time. Okay, here we go, we found it. Let's see this. This is Garrett, and this is would you take his name? Here?

I'm watching it right now. Here we go. Also, I hope I'm not wrong about no, you're not here? We go? Here we go, Here we go, so conscious about my choices. The season ends, we learned the last names of the individual. How do you pronounce your last name? You're going, okay, are you taking that? You're not going to take that name? Are you? We've talked about maybe hyphenating it, but that's that's even you're going. It's like, I don't think our

kids are gonna be able to pronounce that. No, you're gonna have to have really smart kids if you who Yeah, no, maybe go with Becca's last name? Is that? I don't know. I told you, yeah, I told you feminist exactly. It preached me out the way he handled that. I agree, you don't push it, Yeah, I told you. Actually he would break up with her over that if she was like, why we take my last name? And then his family would drive down the mountain four times a week to

comfort him. Make fun of him for saying I love you Grandma. Did they also afterwards? Did they also in the after the final Rose talk about the rose busts and like his worker his like Migrato, that was horrible? They were They're like Carlos is tending to it, like why don't you go fucking water your plan? What does Carlos who you want to throw their kids over the wall? Why does Carlos pretty toned out? I didn't like that, Tanna, What did you do? What I to say about a

family from Manticat? Not much? Sorry, that was fucked up. That sounds like a song though, girl for me Panima family fromta It's like such an aggressively red area in central California, Like I expect. He's the guy from Han He's he thinks song about Garrett the park Land suit? What is it? What is that actor? Body? Sweet? And he loves Dolph? She horribly poor Carlos Crols is like, oh my god, fuck Garrett? Am I right team Blake?

Carl's wearing a Team Blake and he's talking to where his family is Like this fucking kid is barking at the vacuum cleaner and he won at the Bachelor of we're talking about I know what's talking happened, but while we're talking about Blake, I actually do feel that Will should have been the Bachelor. He's yesty, handsome. That's what's great about this first episode as you see his personality totally and immediately I'm on board. I felt a little

bit like he was playing it up. I felt a little bit like and it was like guys like can backflippa day? I did you know? I love my Will Barnesdowe Park? I did? Is how where they were? His whole thing was that Barnesville Park. I was like, Okay. I felt like in the same way that Chris is like the Goose, I'm the stoey Goose. I felt like Wolves is like, no, I have a personality, I'm fun,

I'm crazy. I did I'm gonna be Cookie and poke us told them before, like you really have to show your personality or something, because this is the show that they actually get paid on, and this is like what separates the men from the boys of like, are you gonna be able to make a career out of this for a couple of years? And by the way, what a surprise that it seems like that guy Joe is going to Oh I love and I thought he was so handsome from the original when he was the first

he appeals. He he's a guy that physically, I know his styling when he first went on I didn't like. But in bat in Paradise, I like the styling. I like more relaxed. Job me too. He's a catch. He looks like a like an actor like Robert Denier when they were young, one of those kind of rustick, like totally like Italian nerd. Yeah, he's like he is like Denira when he was. He's like a less doch Adrian Grena, Like he's going to grow into being a very adsome

older man. That's just perfect. Tanna, get off the poor No, no, I love a good old Tenna's red. That's right, it's not good. When she says she's got a new quest for in Lesson, it's not actually at the barn. It's like an old school medicine ball in a gymnasium. She's got like full flash dance out of the last thing you want to do. Also is drive in front of Tanna because she is a jerk. Can you talk about road race? So she's a jerk. She'll tailgate you. She'll

tailgate you. She has a huge drives a huge Statewood station wagon. Yeah. One time and I guess I cut her off. I didn't notice that I did. And I looked over and she was literally holding a knight like she was going to kill. She has a bumper skicker that says, my other car is a broom. Yeah. I like stickers, and they all contradict each other. They're all conservative ideals with with a lot of she believes in like witches, um, and she did believes in like crystals

and like like energy healing places. But she's very make America great again. It was like pro burning the witch. Oh yeah, definite. Yeah. She wants to always throw people in a pool and see if they float. Yeah, it's very Don't let her get you near water because she'll try to see if you flat or not. Okay, so then not even a jacuzy. Somebody said, I'm really misinterpreted. That was um Jordan's I'm interested now you know this was the Producers. He goes, I'm really looking forward to

meet Antealie. She's a little ray of sunshine. She was the one that's like she was like, oh, It was really triggering for me. She didn't want to meet Annalie's. He just thought would be funny of Jordan's like Dantelie. I mean, that's clear. She was the one who, like, hey, traumatized every bit, just weather dog weather. Yeah, the bumper cars. She was scared of a bunch of puppies, being like, hey, she was such a buzzcar. Okay, So then there was

sand thunder, what is that? There was guys with red hair. Oh, she's afraid of guys with red hair, So I'm afraid of thunder. I'm afraid of I'm afraid of guys with red hair. She's afraid of sunburns. She's never been a huge fan of birds, just making That's the thing. I was like, at this point, you actually are rag, but now you're like playing the part of the drag that you're like, you're not a good improvised because that's like, if you're going to have a fun fear, I have

a fear of Tanna. Don't have a fear of thunder. Everyone is a fear of Tanna. Tanna is well Tanna, like if she loves you and she loves men, Tanna loves men. She loves a man that gives her any attention. She loves. She's a little furably old she loves and older loves a really she loves like like Anna Nicole Smith and in a wheelchair. She loves. She Actually some people call her the Angel of Death, but she thinks of herself as the angel of death. But in fact

she's a black widow. Yeah, she volunteers. She's a candy striper in a local nursing home. She has the only movie she'll watch, his Memoirs of the Gay Shop. And she actually has a full bondage room in her house. That's funny. I actually, back when I was in high school, saw Metmore's of a Geisha being filmed because they came to Sacramento and they sent because the Sacramento edition because we have like an old Sacramento where it's all literally

old school. They haven't changed. Also, we shot at like the rail station to be like, look it's the old went to Geisha like Sacramento, California. Oh my god. Um okay, So then we have the meatball, we have bbs. She's horned. She's she's not even I don't think she's playing it up. She is she goes if if my ass gets blurred, then I'm doing I'm doing it right my body. I have to listen to my vagina very carefully. She's very she is the queen over here. I love how fucking

she on her Instagram. She's never not on a yacht, she's never not in the because she's living like a great life. She is living her best life. She's living the bikini life. She only picked bikini Gloria, I mean Biby. She's the best winner games. Really really, she gave her confidence. It was really wonderful. I'm a I am too now. Laura not Aaron named her the meat ball. Yes that's right, and I hope she's not offended by that. But it was more like, hey, I said, have the telescope by here,

and you didn't competition, But that was why. Yeah, she's down to like do she's down to like Yeah, she's to her head strong wills. I'm gonna loosen up. I'm going to be energetic. If you say that either just do it, don't say it. I'm gonna be this. I'm gonna be like. I was so serious, had the eye on the prize. I was focused. I was like, but does he actually have her personality or is he just

kind of a fun stoner. I'll tell you the opposite of personality wells, I mean I can't, I can't smiley eyes though he smiling so good look, But could we argue his personality is his leather jacket. So if you removed that from the equation, what is he here? I mean I thought, you know, you know, I love my wor you're you're a well gal, you're a well scal I thought he was. I actually felt like this season he was more himself than he was last year with

the puppets and stuff. Yeah that was weird. Um last year was hard there, everybody was in a bottom. Last year wasn't the right year. Okay, so let me have Tia fucking Tia and the cold and cold and cold and Colton. Yeah that drove me crazy, but also funck him will get there. But like, let's get there. Let's get there, you know what, Let's just get to it because because by the way, I don't want this to go on for about two more episodes and than I've

done with the story. Let's just talk about it, because this is so boring just introducing people. Let's just talk about she's the first one there. I do you think she actually knew Raven or they just found another girl in Archestal that looks like Raven and they knew America loved Raven. She's not from Weener, she didn't grew up a weener. Yeah, no, I think no, I think she knew Raven. I think they both like live in the big city, little Rock or something. They look identical. Ravens

much more charming. I don't. I'm not a tea fan. No, I'm not either. It's it was too by the way, Like I'm also just a little embarrassed for her if he didn't reach out to you after he left, like leave it alone. Stop, How do you want to come across like this? And it is like you couldn't even have a relationship. It sounds like they have like one weekend. He should have walked in there though. When he finally arrived after she was like kept staring at the stairway.

She just chew her mouth and every show she's like teeth bigger than normal, They're huge, and even what's his name pointed it out because you've got really big teeth. Miracle season Eric Eric Eric. He was the second one to arrive and he goes, you've got really He goes, you have really straight teeth. But I think what it what it was was your teeth at really noticeable. Because they're a giant new I feel like they've got their teeth done, They've got their tips and their teeth and

so many jobs, so many teeth jobs. I just feel like I don't know why for his goal should have been coming in and he's so weak and actually so unattractive because I feel like, use the strength that you've used to keep your virginity to walking up to immediately saying kind of talk to you for a second and just saying I want us to both have a good time. It's not going to happen. I changed. I think he strength for the virgin. I think he's terrified of sex.

I think he doesn't want to have sex. And I think he's such a fame Moore that he knows that if he plays this Tia thing out, he'll be a more crucial storyline. I don't think it's actually about any of the ladies Tanna Oh. Also, I think that he feels like if he loses his virginity, he's not going

to be interesting anymore. I agree, right, and it's not hot and his virginity will only be interesting me again to me again on the day he loses this crying as eat about so hard to be a football player was to either stop talking trying to be like the

male Ashley I and it's not. It's not a good road to pick because we we we liked him so much when he first came up with that, with the dog and the charity, and like he seems so, he was so likable and he was very honest, like he told her a lot of things upfront, like I really like you, here's my deal, here's what's happened, and the thing happened. He was so forthcoming, Yes, but maybe he wasn't He might. I think he might have been lying. Maybe maybe it was his Dr Pepper moment. Also, if

Tia had done I think you're right. I think he was, like because if Tia had, if that had if he had done that and his slate was clean, and she talked to Becca, you'd go in like, I wish you hadn't done that. You're going to address it only he addressed it to camera but not to her. I think they're all lying. I think I don't think he did. He didn't. I think they're all lying. I think this

was the plan the whole time. I think the I think they thought she was going to be about Starrette, and when she wasn't, He's enough of a fame war that he went on and they and they agreed to meet in Paradise, and so he had to panic and like, do you need to fuck her in the Fantasy see please? No, Tanna no. That was my original theorist. It's kind of convenient that she showed up right before Fantasy Sweets and was liked. So let's talk about it. So everybody shows up.

Everybody shows up. We got Chelsea the single John from San Francisco. He's my favorite person to ever be on because he reminds me so much of my brother and my brother's friends. My brother win every he will win Mary and every Mary f kill game I ever played for the rest of my life. I love him. And he's so adorable and and his like, oh my god, look at her hair. Like he's like the nerdy, adorable guy that got to go to Paradise. He's like, look at the ladies, this is great. He's so cute. He

was so cute when he did the axe game. Like, he's just so likable. Yeah, he's also there to push a personality. I love him. Yeah, he's great. He's like the nerd that got let into like the hot Kid club. Oh yeah, for sure, he's adorable. Okay, So they go on a date and um, all right, let's talk. Let's start out because Paradise is all over the place. So so Ta gets the first rose. Colton hasn't arrived yet.

She's so pissed and she got the first rose. It's like, um, and then she picks Christ picks the psycho, who's like me. He's so attractive to me. He's so gross. All these guys are wearing like plunging necklines. I have to say there is something a little I think I am not attracted to Chris, but part of me gets it because there's something dangerous about him. Yeah, head, yeah, exactly. That You're like, this could be fun Mexico for a couple

of days, exactly, and then they would bang. They would be bang bus sters accidentally and quotes pushes you down a flight of stairs during that's that's that's that's that's that's staying too long after the first eleven minutes of this lifetime movie. You don't need to see the rest. Um So, did they go out and they actually hit it off and he's like, I'm thirty, I'm ready for this. She's like me too. Oh my god, Colten, anybody that

has to be like Brian who who? It's like she was so clearly that, I mean, the producers really did a good job and fucking with her. And then so she's I mean like her mind was like melting. And then they were like tongue kissing at breakfast, just like she and Chris were like actively tongue kissing. Is it so hot in here? I'm crazy? They were like tongue kissing at breakfast until bump bump bomb, the weepiest virgin

since Ashley I lost her virginity. They just passed the weepy virgin Baton shows up and he immediately asked to talk to Kendall, Who's basically like, what the funck? Bro? Yeah? Kendall to me is just I don't even she's someone I just actually don't get. Like, I think she's really pretty and she's she's a great personality, I guess, but like she's bizarre. That's what I like about she's kind working.

What I like about Kendall is that she's no nonsense and she actually seems to have like a sense of right and wrong and kind of called him out and was like, why are you talking to me? Like she did. I guess I didn't because I feel like another lady would be like, oh, hi Colton, and like Kendall's actually kind of like Raven in that way where I feel like Kendall's fairly like. I think she has a clear sense of like she actually seems like she has some integrity. Yeah,

she's not playing the game. She's sort of like, why did you come to me? What about Tea? She actually called him out and he's like, oh, the day. And then he went to go talk to Angela Crystal Right and Angela Angela Angela has she's got the hair that what's her name had that that Jared was obsessed with Kayla. She's got the Kayla hair. She's gotten like hot hot set roller hair, thick, like like she puts like hot rollers in. Definitely I tried to do that. I couldn't

do it. Um. Yeah, she's got like bouncy breck hair. Yes, if she were blind, it would look like fair you or like Blair from Facts of Like. Okay, so, um, Tanna that I know the young Tanna doesn't know that there was a show back in the day, but old Tann loved it alright, rest in power? Okay. So then I just flipped ahead and I was in Australia. I just saw the word flow written down. Okay. So then, um, so then let's talk about Let's talk about grocery store

Joe for a second. He's a hot commodity. He's a hot commodity, a small business owner. He's adorable, and he's just a guy. He's just like, oh, can I talk to you for a second? Okay, he's talking a kindle can he And he's like, oh, why do you want to know? I don't hang, I don't picnic, I just don't like pick name. And he is the perfect example of attractive white eyed like Colton is also white eyed. But it's just like annoying, but you always like no way.

I almost feel like because Joe missed the entire show, like he actually hasn't been on it yet, so there's no part of it. It's almost like, oh wow, just you know he went on and get rejected and here I am in Mexico. I got my brother watching The Storable. I'm down here. This is much better than my Australia said for me too, I think, oh you dead. Wow, that's not I don't know. I don't. I don't like that. You should come see it, Chris sera, do you seem

like a nice guy. I just don't know you that well. Yeah, oh hi Chris, Yeah, I just haven't. He isn't it where we have met? He's adorable? He Oh my god. Okay, so dumb Chris. Well, she's going on a date with Colton. Chris goes, she needs to stay on the virgin Ship. She can't stand the virgin Ship. She needs to jump ship to Goose ship. You can't like you can't give yourself the nickname ship to Goose. Jordan's said this was Chris's personal Vietnam. Oh my god, that was amazing. I

loved that. I loved that. That whole like situation was a mess. I loved. I loved Jordan talking to Annelie and David walking up and just giving him a nice firm handshake. Yeah, Jordans, nice to see you. Good to see you don't like about Jordan too, is he really just calls it out like I don't think he's a genius, but I do think he has a pure heart. And the way he saw he's like he strolled like fifty yards across the beach to the day bed to like

handshake and go good to see you. Like he pointed out, what is what is more awkward than walking in the sand towards someone walking towards you and awkward? It really is? Um okay with it? Kendall who said that her dad or her grandma somebody said, don't get on the day bed. Let's be really cute. Don't get on the day bed. Yeah, you don't know where those Her mom is right, don't get in that, David, So think um the hot mom, Chelsea and Nick get on the day bed. And he's like,

I'm just your smoke show, your smoke show. Chris also called Chris called Tia a smoke show. I think that word smoke show is funny if we say it show from like a real bro is disgusted. No, it's like protect your drink. Yeah, let's protect your drink. Don't let it get Yeah, like we can somebody drink like this? Yeah, yeah, I just like I want to start saying it. Oh yeah, I want to say Maddie J of the Australia, can Google drive on the Facebook page show people can watch.

There's gotta be a way to get permission from our gifter. Gifter, if you're listening, can we, without naming our gifter, put this on our Ivanka? Can we put this on our Facebook? Been so generous to us, Vanka, think here's so much for taking time. Thank you for sending all that extra clothes from your clothing line to us. Oh my god, my mom and Nashville. She goes, oh, I love this blazer,

but it's an older blanket drop that's hilarious. I was like, Mom, and I was like, wow, she just because she didn't make a sensible blazer. Mom, She goes, She goes, I love a blazer. You just pack, you just put it in your bag. And she goes, you always look sharp put together. I was like, only I knew she was wearing a Vonka trump place tone of some sort. It was she know, we marines don't look good at nude. What it watches you that you gotta put a little

blusher on Anna. You don't want to look like a drip barket at the vacuum cleaner with no blusher on it. And in a camera you could wear a camera blow but not up top of watches us marine's out. You need some blusher, some bronzer, some ruge. You need can you little? Yes, you need a little. You need to look like a child's porcelain doll. You need to look like a Marianette, like like like Pinocchio. Convinced um, okay. So then he goes, I thought we were your Chris

the Smoke Show. Uh, you're not a virgin. You've got great hair product? What is that? Oh? I guess was he calling? What that was? I don't know. He just does his hair. Will you've got great hair? Put? Did he see that? To his face? Yeah? Because Jordan's obsessed with products, so that's his only does. He doesn't know how to fully compliment someone like Chris and Nick. Nick was, oh my god, he goes, he was complimenting him because you're not she's gonna pick you. You're not a virgin,

You've got great hair. I love him, Yeah, I love him. That's so sweet. That was a big gift. That was a present that he gave him. And Nick said something really interesting and he's like, yeah, she's getting your sloppy segundos, which I was like, that was just this episode the slop kind I was like talking about we call the Smoke Show or the sloppy Secundas. I think sloppy Scanda might be the way. Can we have somebody on a vault? Definitely full split, full split somebody. It's got to be

like sloppy. It's gotta be that Nick with like Shark guys doing doing the splits with smoking and Avonka Trump Lazer doing the splits on a on all vault. Okay, um, so then we let's see if we missed any Oh hey, so Nick, I'm super attracted to you. Um oh god, I really want to meet out with you right now. She goes, I'm going to bed, Chelsea. He's like, you want me to walk you part of the way. He goes, He goes, Chelsea's a snack. Chelsea's a snack. Chelseas to

kill you in your sleeve. We call her a snack. Put a pillow over your face if you Chelsea. Now did show you that she had no personality when they did the fun things in the intro and she's just drinking a drink and the like opening credits. If you're just standing there drinking and you're not doing anything, you're kind of a dud. I have to say, there's nothing, though, gives me more satisfaction than a guy like Nick. Like

a guy like that getting rejected. Didn't you say, like, no one's ever gone to sleep one hang out because your coolest shit, Chelsea's a snack. A woman that has a child doesn't really bother me at all. I think I'd be a great role model. And then he burst into laughter and he goes because tonsn't even stand. You know, it's Brian, She's a smoke show. I'm super attracted to you. What I fucking like? He's just like walking. He laughed about the role model thing, and he was like, not really,

and then he goes, no, I would. He is a lawyer, but a garbage bag. He's a bill bot. It's completely unemployable. You've been you've been injured on the job. You know you calling me, it's me Nick. Your smoke shaw, don't get your slappies of goods and your lawyers. It's me Nick. Don't go to Tanna. My ex wife's a lot liar, walking gunnery. Oh my god, Oh my god. Okay, Crystal, oh seventh, Kevin Man, you're the hottest girl here. He was grosser this time. He's a little too, is a

little too. He was horned dog. You're the hottest girl here. I have to say, I feel like you're hotter that. It's like you picked the craziest ladies. You went for Ashley I and he likes them crazy, like create, like like like bang at the moon, like like crazy crazy. Those are the two. Those are the two crazy. What are you looking at? I'm confirming that Nick was actually a lawyer, and I didn't just say that. Okay, so then is that true? You can tell us in a second.

So then they go Tienne called we hung out in l a one weekend. They're on a yacht. It's like, yes, So that proves that how really insane it's so and also how unsympathetic. Get over it, just get over it. Oh yeah. He has an attorney from Orlando, Florida, and this was his biography, Nick loving attorney with a zest for life. When he's not winning trials, you can catch him in his signature's track suits being the life of the party. Nick is a self proclaimed weekend warrior who

loves brunches, barbecues in the beach. That guy is you know, he trims his pubes in the grossest manner. I'm sorry, I've said three times on this show and everyone loved us. Can I just say, Beverly D'Angelo listens to our show and this is a shout out to you, Beverly. Beverly if you're listening, the brilliant, the brilliant she's on in statual, she's wonderful. I love her. Beverly. If you actually watch The Bachelor and you want to come on, we would love to have you. It will be so upset if

I'm not here. Of course you're going to be here. Love that lady. We'll invite her at every episode until she says great, all right, we're gonna wrap up this one. You gotta join Patreon here. Brian and I and Tanna talking about Maddie Jay on Australia trying on Australia neccess. What are you hoping who's going to get engaged this season? Give me two people go okay on Bachelor in Paradise Okay,

um engaged? Fuck? I feel like what's his face from Canada seventh, Kevin seventh, Kevin and Crystal will because he just wants it like he's ready to propose. Actually it's te Oh god, um what about Okay? What about Nick? Yes? And no one's going to go like that? Okay, what t toke that happen? What? Okay? Colton and and Leo coming? We have grocery store Joe. Okay, I'm gonna say grocery store Joe and Chelsea? Oh, I like that. Who's gonna get engaged? Tanna? Maybe? I don't know. It doesn't seem

like anyone's feeling anyone. Maybe Kendall and grocery store Joe. Yeah, grocery store Joe. Yeah, they vibed a little yeah? Or John oh Man, I love John. We haven't and Carly, John and Ta sort of makes sense together in a weird way. She likes Colton, she's not gonna like John. Maybe like Astrid and oh, Astrid, Astrod and Eric. I don't know. I really just threw that, you guys. I'm gonna say grocery store Joe. No, I'm going to say. I don't even know who's there. I can't even remember

the Canadian Who are the men? The Canadian Nick Colton, Um Wills, Wills, Wills and Wills and Asterrid Wills and Kendall like that. I would like that. That's a cool couple. Well, um, Tanna, Brian, you're coming back next week with Lauren. It's so we will have just sold our show. We will have just sold our show. We've already celebrated. We would go to

the go to celebrate. We'll go to celebrate, and Insatia will have already been everybody's computers will have gone double time over the weekend, and I will We'll get picked up and I will get bumped up to be a regular to pay for my rest of my FU. And if I know Art and I know that, she'll never speak to us again. Oh my god, I can't wait. I'm only going to hang out with I'm only going to hang out with the cast of Um. I don't know vanderp Yes, I don't even know who that is.

I don't either, But it's a stay, can't you. I can't even think of, like, who would be? Who do people want to hang out with? Yeah? I don't know. How about the Lord from the Kardashians, Scott dis I've got to go right to Scott dissac. I can't wait for to get picked up birthday party. Yes, we're very tight. We're very tight, you know. She she just she loved my work on the new Hampshire State Lottery commercial. Some things that really worked out well. I I've that vault

is not going to ride itself. You guys, um, I will see you in one week. We would be discussing two episodes Monday and Tuesday and then Australia. What a commitment we've made, guys. We've really dug ourselves into a whole. But it's a fun hole. It's the most fun hole. Speaking of fun holes, enjoy Bathroom Paradise. Oh it's class week. Oh yeah, Tweeter of the Week. Tweeter of the week. Oh and there's some been some fun emails and some fun I tunes reviews. We're gonna do that. Okay, this

is true of the week. This is sort of Ryan James Houston, Hi, Bachelor in Paradise. Me again. If this game that you clearly manufactured for Tea and Colton doesn't pay off with them living in love, I swear I will drive to that beach and take several ships in various places on locations the day before next season. I wish he said love Lincoln. I'm just gonna tag that. That'll be a tag team tweet. Number two Cheyenne Constant, Canadian Kevin was into Ashley I and now into Crystal.

Someone likes him unhinged True story. Number three Sarah Elizabeth at Mama Bird Sarah, it seems to me that every Top three Bachelor girl pick is offered a choice between psychological counseling and new tips when they're kicked off and when they come to paradise. It is very obvious which hopson most of them have jews. That is really that's

really intuitive. That's okay. Number four Cheyenne Constant. Can we get to this one on one so that we can see Tia longing for Colton and Chris longing for his dad's attention? Okay? Number five Cheyenne Constant kind of bummed the yacht wasn't named Becca. It would have been a full circle moment. They added Tia playing all right, and the final one Suzanne b at Mrs sum nous Um Jordan and Analyst Predictions, King and Queen of Clear River, Florida,

Home of the Manatee. Al Right, So I'm gonna nominate for the final two. Um, I think you tell me? What do you think? Okay? Okay, for sure? This ship one? And then oh yeah, okay, yeah yeah, okay, Sona, Okay, so we're gonna go take no please? Oh god, I hope we are so like we get blinded by that's because we've had the hand in filtering. So you should be the one who picks the final tip Democrat. She picks fifteen. I picked five. You pick it down to two.

It's okay, here we go, okay, Ryan James Houston, Hi, Bachelor in Paradise. Me again. If this game that you clearly manufactured for Tea and Colton doesn't pay off with them leaving in love, I swear I will drive to that beach and take several ships in various places on location the day before the next season. Funny and Sarah

Elizabeth at Mama Verde. Sarah seems to me that every Top three Bachelor Pick girl is offered a choice between psychological counseling and new tips when they're kicked off and when they come to Paradise. It is very obvious which option most of them have chosen. Tanna, I'm gonna say tits, Brian, I'm gonna say ship tiebreaker. I'm gonna go tits seriously, Mama Verde Sarah like us on. Oh come on, just

join our Patreon guys. We're building a podcast studio and uh, you get to hear more of the fun Kyle and Ted to in art in radio DJ stuff that you heard last time. Brian, our Bachelor Paradise Australia was such a joy and we will figure out a way to get it on our Facebook so you guys can watch along, because I gotta tell you is already I like it better than the real but I know I'm not even kidding. I like the show better and I love doing the podcast,

but it makes me laugh so fucking hard. So um, so it's we're not just being greedy greedy, and I just felt warm inside. And next week we're having on We're gonna next Thursday we're recording with our two winners of our guest hosts who are gonna come and doing it and that will be awesome. So we get to hear from the fans. So that's what you get from Patreon. Okay, here we go, um five stars. This podcast makes me

believe in love This is fun couple. I watched The Bachelor so that I can listen to this podcast, recorded by the best hostess with the coolest friends. This podcast will make your entire week every week and restore your faith in humanity. It will give you special feelings in your bathing suit area and put you right on the train to the bone stone. Oh my god, Oh my god, we got a two star review. What the fuck get

these folks? Some adera favorite? This used to be my favorite Bachelor podcast, but recently it's kind of gone off the rails with all the side discussions and stories. It takes about twenty minutes into the episode to actually get them talking about the show itself, and they've been so so many size stories that have gone on way too long where I lose interest in the whole thing. Is stopped listening. They used to have a great mix of t talking about the show and being able to incorporate

some interesting facts and stories about their own lives. But now it feels like I'm listening to their therapy sessions and they're acting homework. Oh they're talking about this is Kyle. It's used to be the podcast I was most excited for it. Now this is the podcast that I listened to last and struggled to get through there matic Kyle, Well, well all right, we're pcast digging the first part, which is a very fun part nimes. When Kyle comes on, we do some therapy stuff and we do do some

acting exercises. So we thought one where you guys talked about your own loves. Yes, yes, Kyle, we do whin Kyle if you When Kyle comes on, we do do some therapy stuff and we do do some fun. We do have fun. I don't know, a lot done against hysterical and you are the funniest. You know what, and you know what. It's good for everybody, so duly noted. And perhaps when Kyle's on or even this episode, you skip because you heard about people humping a horse and

people walking up with ships in their hands. I'm old and sorry that it's not for everybody, but you know, we do the best that we can. We're doing the Lord's work, guys. I can't wait for next week. I love you more excited. I'm glad that Bahlm Paradise stayed with it, stay the course. I got worried last year that we were going to lose it. It's my favorite shop.

Nick to Bachelor Australia. Oh my god, I think it even like it better than Bachelor Had Paradise Australia so far, the first episode like I love the bad and then actual fassion looks like and it's like a Cinderella fan, like a bout of lights regarded regarded Regarded snack Time by