"Let's Pod The Damn Thing" With Brendan Smith!

Oh my god, the world is exploded. Here we are. It is our first episode of the season. Could not be more excited. Um, I want to say that my partners in crime are off. I think they're all this making love all over the continent. Aaron is in Oh High getting at it with some hot lady. I believe Rob is on a plane back from Paris. And Paget is at her in laws in Michigan, tweeting us, texting

us late last night. I am going to save my very exciting special guest to my right, My my, the person who who really reads my mind like I feel like she I sent her an idea of like what if a rainbow made it with a baboon and he was in a speedo and this person knows how to actually execute that. Miss Anna, so happy to be here, Na, How did you survive last night the season opener? Oh my god, it was so fun. We also know enough not to text each other too much, but it's hard. Yeah,

I um, you know. She she loves her her men who play sports, and that was very obviously she loves an athlete. She loves an athlete. Okay, across from me a woman. It's so exciting to me that America now was I probably got fifteen tweets tweeted at me. That was like, oh my god. Any time a dog came on the screen, but in particular like Colton, when Colton gave all that dog, all of us knew that Katie's panty in your dancing his senior mutt and he's doing

the cystic fibrosis vest and he's got those dimples. We knew that Katie's panties were doing a dance somewhere in eastern Los Angeles. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Katie Levine, I'm in my work. Was everybody right? About they were absolutely right, Like the second he came on screen, like, my little heart started fluttering and yeah, it's just like oh even with the big cross necklace. I was like that's okay, yeah, yeah, he could be with a jew, right, yeah je Jew.

I did like that. Colton was realistic about if he kept playing, he'd probably get ct and die. Yeah. I was like, yeah, he said. He said he had an art he got an arm injury, and they said that if you get hit one more time, you'll never be able to lift your arm above your head. My guys, a lot of players, they're stupid and a linebacker. So

I was like, good, you should stop playing. Ki speaking of a person who loves sports and a person who loves the Bachelor, and a person who specifically wants to marry this bachelorette, this is one of my favorite people on planet Earth. If you guys are our Patreon subscribers, you've already gotten to know the magical stylings of this gentleman when we broke down the first four episodes and we're going to finish but the first four episodes of Unreal.

He's a hilarious comedy writer, a fantastic gentleman, one of my favorite people on Planet Earth. Ladies and Gentleman's Mr Brendan Smith. Yeah, baby, yeah, baby. Did you watch last night with Laura with her family? She's still in New York. She's still in New York. Kay, okay, and you watched at home, watched it with her son and yeah, and uh so you agreed. Now Brendan has come on and in the past Brendan has read spoiler yes, and Brendan agreed for us. Anna, he didn't. He didn't read the spoilers.

This strong man. I did not read spoilers. However, I have intel. Okay, So here's the thing. So I so you guys, I'm sure it was all we are a spoiler free podcast, but it was all over Twitter and Anna and Katie texted it to me that the guy that got the first let's just let's just open the gate. Should we say that or should we just go? Okay, so let's just start let's take him down. Okay, So what did you guys? Here's here's the two second review

if you haven't seen it yet. Basically, Becca's lovely, She's so she loves John unfortunately ding too like she was like like it was a good thing. She's a good Minnesota girl. She's a good Nesota girl. And this ding dong so who were about to do up? This ding goong named g dinga named Garrett shows up and there's always hot guys. This dumb dumb shows up. He loves he's like, he's got a huge smile. I'll give him that, but he does it Chris Farley impression. That's not good.

And then he shows up with a mini van and to me, like with like a baby seat in it, and for me, that is the worst, Like that's the worst movie you could pull. I would go run screaming. I've been trying to like dry it up like itself shuts the producers. That's on the producers. That was their call. Do you think they knew that? She Oh hell yeah, yeah, that's their calls, all their calls. So this dumb dumb shows up and he's got this minivan and he did Chris Farley and then brought a van. Well in his

little video, yeah second profile. The second he spoke in that video, I was like, I hate you? Why did you hate him? Immediately in the video in just his face, his just the way he talked, his stupid voice, like I just hated. You can tell he's a dick. He has cop hair. He has he has Leo and we'll get to it at the but Leo, who I love as So there were so many great streets about Leo's hair. Leo is long hair. Alex our favorite Russian bachelor like long hair. Okay, so Leo if she like all these

dudes look like they've got cop hair. Clearly if she picks one of these cop hair dudes, so he's got cop hair. So she gives this ding dong the first impression Rose and then all over the Huffington Post. He's super close to her ex like physically he is almost like like of facially he's not the same but body again, she loves Jock. She loves football players specifically. Okay, so what Andy loved baseball players. Becca loves football. Yeah, Katie's

loves to players. He loves Katie like soccer players to like in the past Andy, Andy bachelor, she was a baseball grower. Yeah, okay, back as a football girl. By the way, Okay, we'll get going in a second, because I have something to say about the former bachelorettes that we're there, So tell us what you found on your

deep but dive and you can't tell us any spoilers. Okay, let me just say I just want to sort of say that you sent me down the rabbit hole because at midnight the Huffington Post I sent and the Huffington's Post story was basically Okay, we looked into Garrett's social media and we found that he's a dick. It was that simple. He's a maga guy, makes trans people, he makes fun of feminists, he makes fun of like any immigrants.

And he liked a post mocking David Hogg, the Parkland teenager, like that, the who the alright hates calling him a crisis actor. So he's down with that. And he like school shooting is like fake yeah. And he liked the classic feminists yeah yeah, by the way, and he had that terrible He liked the image of like the soldier like it was supposed to be. He was like throwing a little hispanic boy over. By the way, this is this week, It actually is. He did it to himself. Guys,

they're making this the Hyena Political Podcast. Do not like conservative memes on the internet. Police and this is to be conservative, but he's far he's doing the far far alright, info wars, madness, maga troll craziness, like Richard Spencer too. Yeah, agreed, he totally totally agree. Okay, so he's a dick. So they So the point of the article was, Um, hey, Bachelor producers, Bachelorette producers, you didn't do your due diligence

on this guy. This guy's kind of trouble. Yeah, he's just like I mean, they and they teed him up to like clearly they knew she would have liked the as the front runner. Yeah, they teat him up. Although he remember they made a meal out of like when at the beginning of the show when Becca was on with Jojo, Well, we'll get there, we'll get there, we'll get there in a second. Well, yeah, whoever gets the first impressions the first impression Roads worked going home with

about Garrett, No way is that guy fucking twenty nine? No, that's something they all have the face of year old. Like I texted my friend, my friend Dan, he's listening. Hi, Dan, Hi, And I said, I said, no way, is that guy twenty nine? He goes, I'm twenty nine. That guys like I I know, I look at all the I'm like, how is that possible? So what? No? What was blowing up? No? When you went I can I will say this. This

is a no spoiler podcast, right yeah? Okay, So the only way I can say this is if you this is going to be a big, big, big, big big problem. And if you were an ABC Television executive today, you had a nightmare in your hands because both Vanity Fair and TMZ then took that story and blew it up a little bit more. Okay, so what we're saying the next I don't want to go further because I don't want to know everything. No, you can tell Katie you

know what? Why don't you pause the recording? Pause the recording? And then yeah, so you can tell Katie and then and if you don't want to know, you might know. You might learn stuff as a spoiler. How much of a spoiler in the show? Then? Okay, So then do you want to pause it and tell do you want me to write you a note? Tell me? Okay, want me to tell you after for my second Okay, okay, okay,

we're back. Okay, So what does happen? Was I was screaming, blocking my ears, running around and you guys just saw some ship. Yeah, that's um. I feel like they have the ability to check all these people. They actually did that ship. So the thing is like, because remember I was looking at all of their Instagram said, I didn't link Carretts Instagram because he had some hunting photos, but I like looked pretty far back. I didn't see him actually, I mean on Instagram. I didn't see on Twitter, but

like he never posted anything like that. You would have to actually really sleuth to see his life. I don't even know how you do that. I don't know. I

don't know. I think someone who followed him maybe released yeah, and then you can like but I mean because I know, like you can look on Instagram, you can say, you can go to the hearts and if you go this way, it says who you're following what they liked, but like they were had someone must just us friends sold him out because this yeah, and they were the shots and it had his thing, and I mean he actually and he seems like the type of guy that I think

someone he knows sold him out. Was like, well, because you have to follow him in order to be able to see that your friend is also liking me and she like super like, wasn't she like a published Yeah, yeah, she's gonna like there's no way like she was, She's going to find out. Yeah exactly, all right, So here we go at the issue today. Yeah, like how I mean, she's going to find out. Okay, here we go. So we're starting out. That was very I'm glad you left. Okay.

So she's got snot dripping down her nose. She's in Minnesota, she's got she's looking at all the photos from when she and are we were together, and then they were back in the they were back in that Airbnb that Katie saw hiking the most, the airbnb that running that Airbnb were already broke up with her. That went on and off, like it was the longest most convo. I thought that was Chris's house. That's an Airbnb. That's an air you know there was an airstream at the top

of running that else where they shot the breakup. Yeah, that's an Airbn. Because Chris recognized the house because I did running in. We knew that it was running. But I thought it was Chris Harrison's house. I like that, you thought that they were even that tight, so that I forgot, Like I forget hate to do she is breakup line, which is, I just feel like the more I hang out with you, the more I'm losing the

possibility of maybe reconciling with Lauren. It's like, yeah, that's what happens when you get engaged to somebody else, you lose the possibility of Maybee reconciling with your ax Um. Also New Info puff piece out in the world this week from January. Producers made him stay in the house whatever that he wanted to leave as soon as Becky started crime, I mean, and he's getting married. He's getting married in Hawaii January twelve, as he pointed out, nobody

cares about January. Nobody likes him, nobody care. We did get to hear his line again of like when he says, I just feel like the longer we hang out, the last chance I get to reconcile with Lord, which is the worst thing you could ever say to him when you are engaged. What an idiot, here's the thing you're ruining my chances. Yeah, you're really cock blocking me with that other girl that I that I even though I'm engaged to you, so I would float away. So then

we see her walking in the snow. She wants what she and her mom and dad. Her sister's hair is amazing. I love her. Does that happen genetically? I was actually literally started googling, can you have super straight hair and curly hair and be sisters? Yeah? They were. I'm like, wait, is that her sister? That is the strange that distracted me for a good lap is she's sitting in like who is it that adult woman? They didn't say, like this is your aunt, Like she's sitting in the lap

of some adult woman. That's the preacher's wife. I don't know. There were many adults. Remember when they went to her house, well, I remember the uncle, your uncle with the with the mallards. There was a lot of ducks. So then she drives up in her red sports car. She's got legs for miles, I will say. And then they bring out Caitlin and Jojo and Rachel. Caitlin, who I love, didn't say anything. She didn't like she did. She was like, what is this weird doobie? But that's a lot of sparkle in

one setting Rachel needed. Rachel was talking like Jojo X is out Caitlin's thing. You know what I'm saying, yeah, you're right, that's a lot to deal with. And Rachel too. There's a lot of wattage in those four that's true, But it felt like but Caitlin was so sparkly as the bachelorette. I'm worried about she and Sean. Guys, she didn't seem glowing. I love her and I want them to work out. Maybe she was hammered. She might have been hammered. So I love that Rachel pleaded with editing.

Please don't edit this out, flog him. That was great. Rachel was on fire that whole thing. Yeah, Rachel, Rachel. I think Rachel sucked out some of the air she want. Yeah, she was going. And then so they're like and then Joe, Joe really felt like she was loving on Jordan's like, I want you to have this simier experience. Oh my god, this is where Jordan and I had her first see they actually seemed like she actually seemed like she liked

Jordan the strongest couple. It's shocking, actually, because I thought as soon as their contract would would be up, would be done. But I follow both them on instant telling me they are always together and they're making some money doing what every every bottle of water? What do you want to sell? You know? Where are we going? What pool party are we hosting this weekend in Vegas? They sign up for everything. God, I'm glad they modeling their house. Yeah,

they did, they did. I did see the videos of them were modeling their house. That was cute. And so then they did the huge sage to get the dirty stuff out, and and Caitlin did say I'm gonna sage you're pussy, which they blewel. Rachel said Caitlin was one that didn't even understand what the sage was. I'm gonna sage your pussy is a great line. That's actually a good idea. That's a good T shirt. I'm going to god, we should make that on nussy. I'm gonna savee your pussy.

I bet we could sell at least twenty of those big Yeah, they did the big up top. Okay, so then so then then they go what are we doing?

Why we did? Caitlin was what are we doing? Why don't we just light this big duby And then they said the first kiss, the first impression, Rose whoever gets the guy, all three of their guys, which is insane, which is Remember we know from from Caitlin season she picked Sewan the second he got out of the limo, and the producers that you had to scramble to like make her pay attention to other because she's like, no, no, no no, that guy. I want that guy, and they're like, no,

this is the game, this is the show. Jordan's Jojo wanted Jordan media Rachel first ones that got up, because the first one that gets out, I felt like cold, and I was like, why is Colton? He didn't talk to her much. No, he didn't, and then she gave a little good but he but he was the first one. And I always feel like the first one that gets to the limo. I agree with you, it's like always. I think they thought Colton was going to be top dog. I think the producers thought it was everyone thought I

was going to be Cold. Yes, we all picked Cold because he's so hot and he has an old senior dog, and he's and he helps her kids children, any sweet virgin. He's let's of the virgin thing. Let's talk about let's talk about that. It was really confusing because then everyone's like, he's not a m I'm on Jordan's side about this, but like it would come out if he's not a virgin, like it would be the model. He's a great villain.

He's a great villa. Villains are always What I like about him is he doesn't feel like wa boom to me. Like at first I was like, oh we found her boom. What I like about this villain? I was like, oh, he actually has like a psychological imbalance, Like I'm like, I was actually like he actually is Like he's like a villain who is like off like something, like he has a mental It's like he's like a record that got scratched and get past. Like where's your podcast? Square man?

Where's he's white about? And you know what he's right about the dude in their socks and stuff. Put on some fucking socks man. Yeah. Professionality. He wasn't wearing socks. There's two things about me. I'm professional and I always meet my mark. He was amazing. He was amazing. Okay, he is such an dyes at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

There's just no that's who he is. Okay, So we've got where at the Westlake Village in and Clay playing football so nice, But then when his personality when I think he just got nervous because when he sweet Clay, he was so sweet. He was so sweet with his grandmother. But then when he talked to her he was like, Hi, I'm Clay. You remember, like Claie, here's Clay, I'm clad And this is nervous. He was nervous. He was way too nice for the show. I was like, get out

of it it. And I don't feel like he's a boozer either. I don't feel the Clay needs the booze to like warm up and like he's sweeping. He's a sweet pe. So then we have Reno Garrett. He does his thumbs up, he's from Reno. He does his Chris Farley oppression. Here he goes. So now we're on to heighten her out to find him. Oh that's a great idea. And he's not twenty nine. I'm still That was literally my note said, g it is not twenty nine and I hate him. That was my note. Okay, So then we get to

the model. Here we go. This is I think he's a really fun villain because he's actually crazy. Here we go. My brand is the pensive gentleman. He could have a glass of Scotch. He could have a book in his hand, he could have a flower and give it to a lady. The powers in the brows and then he's on the phone call he goes scrub for five o'clock Shadow, Like, my portfolio modeling is so much more than being really good looking. You you're talking Jim year round, tan year round,

salt spray year round. And I just kept thinking, fuck yeah. At first I thought he was full of it and fake and trying to be the villain. And then as a night war on, I'm like, you are gray, You're a villain. And when he hugged when he hugged her, I was like, Oh, his spray tand's going to come off on her a white dress. What was that moment? It when he gets out of the limo and then he pauses for his like his like runaway before you hit the runaway you go, he's like actually crazy, like

pulled his jacket down. He like, you're right. He got out of the limo and then looked at it. He's also, by the way, not even in the top half of good looking of the like if this is your like, if we're tacking sort of catalog model guys, like, you know, this may or may not be your type, but like these are all fundamentally good looking guys. He's not even closed in the top. He's just the chicken was hotter,

the chicken so aggressively into his creaking. Would be so mad to hear anyone saying, my god, I know he's gonna be He's gonna he's gonna tweet at me that my face is crke. I'm aware of that. Okay, let have I am aware of that. I know my nose is pointing. You know what I have. I can tell you my brother pointed it out to me. That motherfucker. It was when Mad TV, when you're during the gallery shoot for Mad TV. I love my brother, but his

brother he's got it too. We have slightly pointy. I've got Adam Scott features here and there, you know what I mean. They're like they're like I have like slightly pointy. Hey, that's interesting now that you said Adam Scott, you can't Scott Adam Scott's little sister Dan. I don't want to, like, are you gonna do r e M be talking to you with those those two idiots to Scott and Adam. Oh my good, I don't know what that is. They have a podcast Adam Scott and talking to you or

whatever I should be. I mean, look, I don't want to make everybody call me Adam Scott. They already do online. I don't love it. Okay, So then we have link him. So you know the rumor about Lincoln that he ships in the nest at work and you know he's so sweet. I don't know if he's accurate or not. This poor guy apparently he works at Oracle and allegedly, apparently Parly is a germophobe, so he can't sit on a toilet

and he shipped. He makes a toilet paper nuts on the ground, He ships on the pile, and he cleans up the nest and then he discards the nest, makes a toilet paper, nests the nest of toilet paper, and he squats over the night. Apparently that's the word on Where does he do this at work in and people know his feet? According to isn't it Life and Style or something? It was? Life and Style reported it look it up. Life and Style reported it was our only

spoiler that we allowed for the season. My friend, who reads all the spoilers, she was like, can I send you one, it doesn't affect the outcome of the game. I said, yes, you can send it, and it was the Lincoln Loge. So basically, he's doing the same thing and Agora Hills at the Bachelorette. Manch my god. It really is the gift that keeps up. And by the way, you can build a whole episode around that. We already did.

We had one compl no no, no, no, I mean I'm talking about in the show, which has to be next week before they leave the mansion. By the way, we've already built an entire podcast season around. I mean this is three for three. Did one? We did one of moon Tower with Lord Laucus. She said Lincoln logs, so we called the Lincoln log. So then we brought it up during our draft picks last week when we all picked Colton, and then now we're bringing it up

for three. I do hope one of the guys catch a segment is just like, what are you You're bad producing if you don't do that segment, bad producing if you don't do that segment. And he's gonna go far. He's gonna be around forever. So if they if she takes him to oh wow, awesome, we're Miami and he's like, time out. You gotta make a toilet paper nest here in this nice South beach hotel. Horrible. Do you think he does it at home too? He must use his

own toilet. Yeah, please, Lincoln, Lincoln, if you're listening, please tell me that you use your own toilet. And he's also would never use my toilet. Guy, if he's building toilet paper nest, that means you can't use mine. Not a good match for any lady out there. Oh no, he's like, I have a separate bathroom. Downs. I wonder he has a bid day. Okay, moving on to he's sweet though, he's sweet him to go far. Didn't you all think toilet paper nests as soon as he comes

on screen? Yes? Um I. Also, it always just makes me think back to like that's how people poop an Iran. So I always think like it must be cultural. Yeah, he's from Nigeria, from Nigeria. Yeah he's from somewhere. Yeah, yeah, he is from Nigeria. But he's around toilets for a while. He's gotten the idea of toilets. He's been around toilets for a while. Yeah, he must be an extreme germophobe, I think, but he's like cooking and like shues. We guessed german phobe. We added German. We don't even know

we guessed it. That was us trying to figure it out. I always trying to let you say that to kind of be nice. I think we don't know what's up. We don't know why we were guessing. Can weekend toilet nest if they go on like a big like you know how they always go to the wood style, you know how they on every season to some wooded location. He'll be so excited, he'll be the whole time. And I got to go out in the lake, just sit in the lake. Good lord, aren't you I pressed? I can't.

I will not look at him in the same way nobody does. We've really were any by the way. He's adorable. And if this is not true, I am the worst person in the world because I now brought it up three times, and I tell everybody that does I told you we have a PM. I have a pal on the show. This year. I'll find out. I'll text you. Can you text right now? It'll take it'll take two people to get to him, but I'll find out Lincoln left accidentally left a toilet paper nest anywhere on the set.

All right, that's good we have he can find out it does says because he thinks toilet are on sanita. So he does say that. I thought we were guessing that. What does it say? What does it say? And a reades Lincoln used to ship on the bathroom floor in his previous position because he thought toilets were on sanitary. He was known as the floor shitter and would build a mound of toilet paper and take a ship on it.

So I hate Lincoln now. The words spread like wildfire throughout the as it should it should because it's an amazing thing. Someone from the notes today there for it to lock the door. I think people saw his feet under this doll and saw like, what's that? See the ship? That's what I mean. They would see the nest in this it. I'd be like, Hey, isn't waring those gray boosts today? So what was the deal with that toilet

paper on those gray boots? I see a pile of ship and some toilet paper next to those gray boots. That's art And this is what all said. I saw this guy with his pants around his ankles with toilet paper on the ground, and he's going to the bathroom on the toilet paper. I kind of double took and couldn't really understand what I was seeing. Either the next day or the day after, I walk in and he's doing again, and I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. When I told my buddies, they were like what. They

didn't believe me. So I snapped a picture from when where was that picture? We haven't seen it yet. They didn't. It's not been anywhere. If this is just like some joke, and it's like some college friends who like this, this is a thing to spread, it's such a weird thing to spread. If it's a joke, I'm looking at the images that's more offensive. Someone should have brought that up. You know, we'll get to we'll get to the guy whose girlfriends after this thing the toilet papers, and it's

just so much more of that's how much worse? Okay, so that might get So then may got to Trader Joe for Chicago. He's got a grocery. He can't have bad Chicago. He's from Hagwish. Okay, you can't have bad produce. I deal in produce. But one thing I haven't produced yet is love. Poor guy wink for ship. He tried the wink. He's like he's got a little wink. He was Sweet's grandmother was the cashier at at Joe's grocery before he owned it. This Joe, this Joe, like he

does own a real grocery. It's way now. They made it sound like in his bio he had been like like a stockbroker, but it said that he just traded watermelons. Yeah, I don't know. I just don't. I just know that the grocery store is a real place. Okay, So then we have the cologna store. Gen blanc he is Um he lays a live collector of accouterments. Um, she needs a man that smells good. And I'm gonna blow her nose away. That was said on television. Um, Calton so cute.

He had the injury. He sistick by bros. Is this so sweet? Dog? Katie? I wrote first as the limo and they did the popping, they did the pop things. How did she not immediately run and find him? And that? And they man, I would have literally just been like, oh, no, one else has to come out of a Limo of whose I Am done. He's so cute and she was just like not into it, Like but she didn't see the package, so she didn't know the video even know

he was. I don't know, but he was. I mean, he's so though, and like the popper thing was cute, It wasn't too much. What do you love about him? What do you love about his dog? Although, well, he just also seems like a nice guy, Like he's very cute, Like he seems nice. He had a nice Hello Tex jacket on, and he helps kids because of his little cousin.

Like this just he's so sweet. You know. It's so interesting to hear you guys talk about how like he just seems nice because I just always assume that the guys that get to that level of sports, especially football, well that's what we are. That's what I think. That's what makes him like you could I agree with you generally. And then when you see him with his niece, was like,

assist absolutely, And the work he's doing is awesome. No, trust me, I think that too, And then you're like, oh my god, this is like he and Clay both seem like sweepy. Clearly she likes jocks and they found her nice jocks. One thing though, he said, he said that his dog is not the love of his life, and I'm not like Scout. She's the love of my life all the time in front of Anthony and then he goes, yeah, she's the love of my life till your love of your life. Currently, He's all I got

as I have a love friend. My best friend is my cat me out. She sleeps on my neck. She's my best friend and I love her. So then outcomes Clay and he got nervous. He goes, hi, you look amazing awkward. Joe choked and then he didn't. He goes, I'm supposed to say something, but I can't remember, and he goes, I'd marry her right now, he said. Afterwards, um hair, Here comes the stunt man Leo, and he loved his hair was up in a crazy side, top notch huge and then it was time to let your hair.

He was so psyched to let his hair down. That's actually pretty good. I'm just gonna let my hair. I mean he'd actually be really hot without that hair. That hair is bad. He needs it for water World. Yeah, he's got a role to play the studio city. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, we should go at the Ya that's where he is. Yeah. Yeah, because I was calling bs on him living in Studio City, because I live in Studio City and I've never seen Leo. He would be easy to spot at the trade of

Joe's on Venture Little very easy to spot. But maybe he might just hang out Universal City. He might. He might just be get out of Universal City as soon as you're done working. He's nothing out there. You're better than that. I think I'm gonna go over Simpson's Land hangs out and we gotta go find Leo on a group out in. But you guys are saying he works at the Live Yeah, and I've seen that show a lot of long haired doe. Yeah that is, because that's the deal on his Instagram of it. Then we have

Jordan comes out. He's the male model. He does his pose, he hits his mark, and he goes I'm already having a great night. Hopefully fashion makes me unique. He's just fucking current j Yeah, yeah, he's he is. He's crazy, but he's not even as cool enough for Moza. He'd be like over like Brentwood for sure. Yeah, I agree with you, he's not cool. Yeah, Marvis a really nice Italian restaurant in mar Business. Yeah yeah, Grace Sue isn't that interesting? By the way, his suit felt really dated.

It was like this, if you're this fashion e, this is what you're pulling out, Like I don't even you couldn't find the ship nest photo. And then he said that he took like how long he said he took like six hours to get ready, because he said six hours, and I said, I've never taken that long, Like he's even six hours and that's the outfit he picks. What did he say? It was like it was like handcrafted, hand styled, hand style. Yeah, so that's his term for

putting himself together. Is that what he was saying? Because it was confusing. I didn't understand anything that he was talking about. He's so crazy. He's a bad villain. I don't like him as a He's another real villain. He's going to annoy me by week four. Of course he's the whole boom like he's sort of the fake villain, like because there's almost always two villains. So for example, last season, when first we had the mom we had Chelsea, were like, oh, it's gonna be Chelsea but then it

turned out to be Crystal. Like Crystal started out like, oh poor Crystal. They were angling Lincoln to be a villain. Okay, with the previous Yeah, who is this guy? Yeah, the guy who makes so then we have Nick he's at this race car suit and then oh my boy, Mike by the way lawyer, Okay, yeah the race. Yeah, he brought that. He brought the cut out of Mike with the man bun, brought the cut out of Ari. Now he was my number one, but before it even aired, I switched it. I made Cold my number one. Mike

he was he had no mojo. We were wrong. He d dud. And again the producers are the ones who are like, hey, Mike, guess what you're gonna walk out with the cut out? Oh? Really? Yeah, so go up put the thing down and then say something about like blah blah blah. Yeah. I thought it was a really good opporunity for someone to punch it. Oh I thought he was kicking. Yeah. I thought he was going to kick it, breaking or his knee or something. Yeah, me too.

He carried it in. Okay, So then Leo and Leo says this, there's the old stench of competition in the air, this is gonna be sticky, this is gonna get stinky, or as the night goes on. I loved it. I feel like a lot of dudes like kind of posturing their body towards the door when she came in. Yeah, they were nicer to each other than they sometimes like they're more dicks, like I've opening night, Like, I feel like they were all kind of nicer to each other

they the night. The moment that really got everybody going was when Christiohn the the Globe Chatter. They set up a really tall basketball hoop for him outside and then he dunked, jumping over her head with his dick. That was pretty rad. It was so rad. Let's talk about that. It was pretty That was amazing. It was super cool, and I was like, I would have been sold immediately. The guys all head boners. Yeah, she looked like she was like impressed, but she was more scared. I guess, yeah,

because she couldn't really see the dunk. Yeah, they should have taken over the video village and like watch it, see Stacy. It was so dun of the chicken and he did the same stunt with the chicken he did he did. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, because they did a whole they cut together a whole montage and then hey, let's get all the guys out here to shoot back. Yeah they did, they did, and then he dunked over the chicken. He jumped over the chicken. He's

awesome And it was hilarious to me to watch. Any time you do the group men playing in suits, playing sports and suits and nice shoes and you know, button up shirts and you can see who's good and who's bad. Colton had a nice jump shot. He did some drill three. But then there were some other guys who were bad at sports. I love when like guys who look like they should be good at sports suck at sports. It's a very specific thing. Yeah, and there are a couple

of them that sucked at basketball. She was satisfying a whole lot of balls. Oh yeah. How do we feel about her as a bachelorette? Overall? I think she's been good. She is to the point she's she. Becca is my poster girl. I dream I've been dreaming about Becca since I was nine. Tell me what do you love about Becca? I think that she's I feel like she's dropped in I feel like she's present. Yes, she is that. She

has a great sense of human Yeah, she's connected. I have done a little bit of social media stuff about her. She's dropped in, she's into the me too movement. She's a she was a Hillary supporter. She cares. You know, she's got the pink pussy hat on. She's at the march in Minneapolis, you know, and she if if if if Becca had like a purple stripe down the middle of her hair and tattoos. Forget it, that's your dream silver like version of Becca. Yeah, forget it's I'm I'm

I'm close to stalking you. Okay, You've been warned right here. Beca. He's not is up too old Rebecca? So I don't even care. Ye nice, but I'm I'm a huge fan. I think she's the best bachelorette that they've ever had. I love Caitlin, but I'm enjoying Becca so far. Okay, So then Blake shows up with an ox and then he goes when she goes, where is he getting all these animals from? And he goes, I hope you're feeling

strong as an ox. He I thought he was going to get the first and prayer and Rose because they had a conversation later where they had he says, if I was able to love the wrong person so much, how much could I love the right person? That was a good line. Good line. He's not a cool guy. No, But I like Blake to remember, he made a good impression at the finale the horse. I think he's going to go for me too. I like him. Yeah, I like to suit jacket. It stood out stand out more

than Jordan's outfit. Yeah, the red Yeah. And did Jordan's say something snippy that is him? Yeah? Probably that's not fashion. Is it too soon to talk about the previews because they wait? Wait, okay, wa wait, because it's about Blake, you can talk about it. No, the previews made it seem like Blake does something bad coming up, made it look like Lincoln does something bad and Blake. They try they was trying to make it look like all over

the play. It's it's funny when you go back and you watch, like at the end of the season, like I would imagine watching that, it's like where they make the ambulance run like always in his own Blood. It's like, but it's never what you think it is, never like like yeah, like Anthony pointed out, it's like, oh, some guy has a black eye. I was like, Oh, they're gonna make such a big deal of that. I just happened to dinner during football, showed them playing football. It

was like, I probably just happened during football. And and I just watched the Bachelor in Paradise Australia version, and there was in Australia. Was the first time a female contestant, like a couple of years ago left with another female contestant. So they got that girl to come back on Bachelor in Paradise Australia, and they made it seem like she hooked up with a girl because they showed her saying

she was excited that another female was there. And then you saw her making out in the water with this person with long dark hair who look and then it was like she made out with basically like Leo, like did she able to do it? Long hair? But they edited it to make it look like two women were like falling in. Yeah, I love him. They're really even very good at that. That's the whole honestly win awards.

Yeah they should, it's so good because it's phenomenal. Okay, the hurt the guy who shows up, She's got a dead mom. He shows up in a hearse. Becky's mom is jadad Are you sure? Oh dad? She lap she was him? Was her mom's I thought her mom was dead? Back it up, so she's she's so she's got a dead dad. The hers the hears like the guy comes up and then like it's like, that's just bad. Some dings with the guy with the black tennis shoes. No, but he goes, I when I've heard you with a

bad cherette, I literally died. The guy with the black tennis shoes. Was that was like the kind of like he kind of looked like he should be on the Big Bang Theory? Right key, let us talk about Camille. What a sack of ship. I hated him? Like is the Ronnie Anthony said like, oh, someone read the what is that book? You know that the game game? He was like, someone read the games several times, but that was like ten years. Was gotten so into it. It's so funny. Oh does he height pretends to hate it?

But I think he truly loves And who does he like? Well, I don't know because I just talked about cult in the entire time. He doesn't I said, I want to funk that guy, and he went, Okay, I want to funk that guy. Um so then all right, so then Garrett fly fishing, he's a racist David and the Chicken suit he's cute, and then the Chicken I like him, started taunting the model, going what's your game plan? What's

your game plan? What's your game plan? And the model like he was he had all this prep for sup, but he wasn't going to go talk to her. Did they list David as a social media participant? That was Camille? That was Commune. Wait wait no, sorry, that wasn't David was a venture capitalist slash Chicken. It was Camilia. Camille was a social media participant. David has a venture capitalist slash chicken, which is amusing Chicken. I hope it says that somebody treated to us that they hope that it

says that all season vent rock Chaplins lust Chicken. It's such a good thing. He's cute, He's really cute. Um um, hometown. It wasn't camel the one we thought was going to be the villain. Yeah, he was. He was a lot of our villain or crazy. We had Nick. We thought Nick was going to be drunk. On the first night, you and I both thought Chris was going to be the villain, and honestly, it seems like he which one is Chris, He's the guy that that sold out Chase.

All right, let's talk about that. Okay, let's hear about that. So that was like, it was like, dude, I just saw Chris was like like like, basically, in this day and age, if you go on that first show and you're one of the six first guys, every person you ever went out with, anybody could see any ship about anyone, and so it's like this poor guy. Also he said it was two years ago. It's like and they he

did change. Guys change a lot in their time. And it's also like, I'm sure in my twenties if I did it somebody for two weeks and I like ghosted them and then I showed up and somebody tweeted something like if somebody's mad at you, like you guys should know that Arden has a crooked face. I don't want to be the bear of bad news face. Just let everybody here, No, don't come after me. Love. What's his name? Who's the model? Jordan? Jordan's um? I just feel like

that that. It's just like Chris was a little bit in that, yes, and he was probably pimped to it by the producers, you know what I mean, because there was no drama. Everyone is nice. I feel like they're right. Everyone was nice. Everyone was nice. They were all getting along. The model was kind of a dick, but whatever, you're right, you're right, was like, what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? You're right? Well, this girl texted me and she said,

oh great, let's run with that. Oh my god, you're right, Anna, What do you think? I am not here for the right reasons? I don't know. I thought it was it was just kind of like wasting her time because she was like, I don't know either of you, and I don't know who this person down was really awkward. It was so early and it was so dumb for him to do that. But I like how he goes up

to other guys. He's like, should I do I don't like, yeah, go for it, because they're like, you're basically shooting yourself on the foot. Yeah, you're actually like a little tattle tale. It's like, okay, let's say, by the way, if there's like thirty guys there. Yeah, some guys are there to get more Instagram followers. Is he wouldn't be the only one that's the deal, Like, like maybe half are there for love. A lot of people just want to be a TV. I don't like his teeth. I don't trust him, Chase.

I think he is there for the wrong reasons. He had a really ugly tie on. That's why it was so weird. Chases the guy from FLOORA or they're both from Florida. From Florida, who's the Adam Goldberg guy? Chris? Okay, Chris is Adam Goldberg guy? You know what I had to look alike. Yeah, I actually think Chase had something. I felt like he was lying and there was something shady there. He was trying too hard if he wasn't

even like, I don't need to care about you. I'm going to just prove myself with my own I don't know. I love that I'm here for the right reasons versus being like I just want to get ahead of this. I'm here for the right reasons. Let me go get my dude. The dude who said it's like that was both weird. But then I mean he did say whatever it was was two years ago. I'm also I actually thought it was good to bring get ahead, like get ahead and like just cut right to the chase where

it wasn't spreading around like a virus. But they never even said what it was that he was there for Instagram forward, you know, something like he just didn't he didn't care. I just as soon as they heard wrong reasons, I tuned out because I feel like they pull that out every year, Like I just say, like, oh, he just wants to hang out with his boys, like that's what the girl said us, Like, yeah, he was probably twenty five years old. Yeah, I didn't like to be kepting, like, look,

we were dating, we weren't together. Wait, let's talk about the ever the guy from her hometown that was so weird. And then when he goes, when she was like we met numerous times, he's like, I remember once and he goes, he goes, do you realize that I have one conscious recollection of meeting you. It's like he's like, I've had this is a different me. I've had a very transformative year.

This is a new Jake. It's like, so wait a minute, I have one conscious record, So maybe he's like two days sober, Like maybe he was like super high or super drunk. So I remember one time when I was maybe a little sober. It was incredibly awkward and super douch. What did you think of that? I hated that guy immediately because you could tell that he was a jackass too.

Because the bigger one to me was if you and I were both single and we didn't know each other and we were single in Minneapolis, it's like we were single in Minneapolis, it would be on yeah, yeah, I like that she confront of like, you would ample opportunity to make a move on me, and you didn't. Clearly you're here he clearly. Also, he rattled her her show when he showed up. I feel like she was like, I don't want there's something about whoever he is. Can

you google Jake from the Bachelorette? It must have been a maybe it was maybe it was a set up or someone tried to force him on her or something weird and it made her. She tried to be graceful about it. I thought she was in control of the situation and the breakup. When they filmed his breakup exit interview, he was such a baby about it. Again, some guys can't handle breakups. It also felt like he was there because he's like, oh, I have access to TV. I'm

gonna go on this. But like you know, they went fishing and felt like, I want to know what's wrong, like something. He clearly unsettled her to the point where she couldn't relax until he was gone. And and remember she kept saying that they run in the same circles. Yeah, he she knows bad sh about him. He there's bad. She was being a lady. But there's some bad rumors about this. She knew that. Yeah, and she knows it. Is there anything that comes up nothing about him on

the internet, No, there's nothing. He's so bored. There's nothing about him on the internet. So this article just says he's a little too perfect, like he's it seems like his internet presence is like, yeah, I think they're saying that his Internet presence is clearly made up to make him look a certain way, and he clearly is probably not that perfect. Get him out that. I think the Las Vegas City Council ran an add the gear spontaneous lesbian wedding. That was great. I loved it. I loved great.

There was a great ad. Always buck through the ad. So I'm missing There was a Las Vegas basically did what happened? Like, let's get it was too like hot ladies. She already together, like they're like, should we get married? Should we get married? And then it was like a surprise, like surprise, like our families are all here. I was like, we can't, my parents would kill them. And then the families are there and they're all happy for them, and it's a surprise pop up wedding of these two hot

ladies in Vegas. It was really good. Yeah, it was really great. We were like, oh, I liked that. I liked all the Mama Mia ads. I'll go see Terrible Mom and me a number two, A lot of and Who's and Amanda's sage Freed has gotten very tan. Okay, I have a crooked face, don't feel bad. So then we have Colton is a virgin. We hear her say I'm in love with two guys, but I love that. At the end, Jake's or whatever the villain goes. Next thing, you know, the pot is screaming and it's time to

pour some tea with the tag of him. I don't know what that was, but that that was the tech confusing we we we rewound it and froze it a couple of times to just to try to figure out what was going on. What did you think? Well again again editing miss lead, editing miss lead. Willis seems to go far talking. He went to college with Anna. Get out. What's his story? He was the one with the text works at the coffeehouse together. He dated my friend out and off for a while. Harry Potter. Yeah, he was

always very nicely. He goes. I bet he goes, I bet he goes far. He looks like he went far, which is yeah, he didn't. They showed him. It looked like he played football. I don't know. You guys don't have a football team. He may have played rugby. Okay, um, he might have been one of the nerds. Like you're a nerd. We've got four nerds for you. Here he kept a very football player and here you like nerds,

or here's three. But he's that guy's built like a superhero. Willis. Yeah, yeah, he kept a low profile and I think that was good Wills. But my memory his name wasn't plural in the past, but maybe it was. It was just will. That's probably I think I remember it, but I think it wrong. Maybe you were like the person who didn't quite say it right, but he did. Well, I just need to know who was in the stretcher because it wasn't clear. Yeah, that it looked like it was a

white guy. It did. It definitely was a white but I couldn't tell it because he had a head harness on. And that's probably just someone who fell off the balcony something so not dramatic. I mean, we know she's engaged. Oh yeah, people have been pushing that. We know she's engaged. She said it on an interview. She was like, I think he's been happy. I mean, I don't know. Better. He better be cool. That's all I have to say. You marry my lady, you better be cool, You better

be cool. You better th Coulton went far by the way. I think I was going to go far too. I think it showed her. It showed him saying that he loved her, that's right, and that he was nervous about the fantasy sweets, which why and then all the guys didn't believe him though that he because he said he made up a story and he lied about it. But then all the guys were like, I don't believe that.

But then he dated that gymnast like yeah, if you're not a virgin, like that's gonna come out because like any of these girls feel like, dude, we totally fucked. What are you talking about? I mean, why would Lord he does? He had the big I think he's I think he's very Christian, which is why he would never do I buy the virgin thing. I mean, like, why would it's not sexy to be an adult male virgin.

I don't think he would say that unless he was a virginian you know you have I don't know, he said, he's what I mean like, I don't think he would lie about being I think if like he would if you were a virgin to say, but you wouldn't lie and say you But he said, he said, he's like, I'm not waiting for marytone waiting for the right girl. You think that he's had sex and is lying about it because he loves the Lord? No, I think no, no, no, I think he I think it's entirely possible that he's

a virgin. I think he is. That's what I'm saying, you wouldn't lie about that you wouldn't leave. But that's a virgin. I don't think he's proud. I think he's proud to be a virgin, but like maybe he feels vulnerable to say it. And it's an awkward setting to be an adult male because he's like, yeah, you're on the batch seven, right, I don't remember. Is he's so thinking? I think he is. He was born in nine two.

I saw that I was working at Tower Sunset. Tara record Jesus Christ or the hotel stole so many CDs from Tower Sunset. Good, that's why we brought you here. Everyone did well, Jesus Christ. Do we think it's going to be a good season? I have high hopes because I love Becca. That's all that I care about is her getting through this in an awesome manner. And because no one to me stood out as being awesome. Got rid of the dead weight. There's always the guyame Venolk.

We don't even talk about the Venlo guy. Yeah, billionaire, that is the real m v P. He has created an app that I use every five minutes. Now, anyone, did you know if he actually like literally invented you know, he's I think he's a soft design to the Yeah, he designed people. Yeah, he seems that he should be on the show's Silicon Valley, Like does the way he talks? Yeah, like character of Silicon. Is there anything we missed you guys? She took way too long to give the roast to Colton.

I'm going to keep bring that. I know. That's how I felt very upset. I know she took way too long to get the roast to Colted. Okay, I mean, I mean, I don't know. I don't but that also could be done out of order to that. I don't know. I don't know. I'm gonna tell. Will you guys help me pick the tweet of the week? Yeah, okay, Anna texted me her choices one hot second. Overall, I feel like the guys seemed nice. She's lovely. I hope, I hope. I hope they all like our Google Gaga over like

how Brendan feels about her. I hope they'll get there. They'll get there, They'll totally get there. I just wish that there was just a little bit more flavor. Can we just have a dude who like lives in Echo Park and like has a couple of tattoos and like works of dinosaurs. Doesn't have to be like I don't think I just have to be a team. I think that's what she likes. Yeah, for sure, I think I think this bachelorrette likes that. Right. There was no there's

no DJ from Nashville. You know what I mean? That was my I mean he was my wells is my favorite one? So likes on this creuse No, no, well well there's very rarely. Yeah, you're right, that's right him last night he was She liked him right, and she liked him like they buried that guy last night. He didn't wear a great outfit, but he's cute. He wore his outfit. He wore his outfit black. I think Blake. I mean, I love Harlem globe trotter. I don't think that she saw him. I think Will gets. I think

the globetrotter. He's gorgeous. Somebody you need somebody tweeted at maybe he didn't do a video because maybe he's ABC is saving him to make him the first black bachelor, so exciting, and I say, if you're listening to ABC, that's a great idea to keep him around. You've got to keep him until at least week five. I don't think we saw him. We said, see him once. I have to go back here and watch it because I felt like we did see him once or twice because

Anthony pointed out, oh the basketball guy. I was there, That's what he said, the dunker, the dunker. You guys, do you have anything you want to promote before we get to tweeter of the week? Anybody where? Where can we find you at social media? At black seven on Twitter? Okay, great, my my, um my Scooby Doo movie, The Daphne and Villema Origin Story Daphne and Vilma is out is on iTunes and Amazon. It's great eight. It's like it reminds

me of like a Wes Anderson Girl Power movie. If you've got like a teenage girl or like a ten year old girl. It's great and um and uh yeah, Katie. So one of our most loyal listeners Lauren. She her dog is Pearl the poy puppy on Instagram. They live on Big Island in Hawaii and right now there's the volcano going off, so it's affecting. Uh, it's affecting a lot of people on the island. So she has set up a go fund Me and a Amazon wish list for for the shelters that like for people and animals

that are in need. So if you go to her Instagram, which you should follow it anyway because Pearl is adorable, it's uh Pearl dot the dot poi p o I dot puppy in her bio, that link will take you to the Amazon wish list or the go fund me to help people on Big Island. That's awesome, Annah, Do you have anything you can listen to my podcast Ethnically Ambiguous on the House Stuff works. Now, um'm and listen to this podcast on Patreon and we're gonna be wrapped.

It'll be out and to tomorrow will be me and Anna and Brian Sophie doing our finale of our Bachelor in Paradise, Australia, which has been such a fun season. And then in two weeks we're having Amy Kaufman on, the author of the Bachelor Nation book on our Patreon, so that'll be coming up. So check that out, you guys did. All of our draft picks are on the website www. Dot Rose Podcast, dot Vodka. Here are our tweets of the week, our first tweets to the week

of the season. Guys, here we go. Help me narrow it down to two. Seth vat at basebone one. I'm looking for a woman with a Harry Potter tattoo of quote explaining us on her passion bucket. I'm a total sucker for a woman who screams in Latin on the toilet in the morning. Okay, number two. See Dot Valentine at Dead Pandlorus. My boyfriend described Leo as Sean william Scott and adjacent momo wig and now I can't and see it. Yeah, I like that. I like that Sean

Williams Scott, am I saying his name right? Mamoah. Number three, Steve Valentine. There's more fucking man buns here than at the Farmer's Market. For Irish Gorman, Garrett made every man just a little after his dunk, and everyone should be comfortable with this. I enjoyed. You guys are a tough crowd. Okay, Now there wasn't that Kristen or that was Irish Gorman, Oh, Irish Gorman. Okay, Um, yes it should have been Christa, but he said Garrett, But it's actually Kristam. So there

we go. Alex Madsen at ABC Medicine what is Aquaman doing here? And there's a picture of Aquaman. They do have the same hair. Okay, so I'm gonna narrow down. We gotta tough. We got a tough crowd today, Guys, if you were tweet wasn't it. Don't feel bad. It feels like a tough crowd in the room. I'm gonna go for what number. I'm gonna go for these two. There's more fucking man bunts here than the Farmer's market.

Or they're both from the same person, see Valentine. Or my boyfriend described Leo as Sean Williams Scott in a Jason Momo wig and now I can't un see it. Which one do you like? Anna so funny? I like Sean william Scott, but man bon one, see Valentine. There's more man buns here than the farmer's market. Tweeted at us at hashteg w y a t r um. Also like us on iTunes and and and uh follow us on Facebook and email. I'll just read a couple of our iTunes things you can most recent All right, here

we go. This is from back five Stars Best Ever by ms Davis. I listened to a whole bunch of podcasts and never subscribe until now. You guys make me laugh out loud or you guys don't bully, but speak so much truth. Love it. Thank you so much and email us. We had so many people email us our draft picks, and we're gonna put them all up on Facebook. They'll be on the Facebook page. Miss Anna Um we have from there's a lot of just a lot of

people emailing it in. Left to the last minute, listening to lecture and reading by I was looking for a man whose voice has been broken. They all looked twelve years old. That is from bam Carts. So everybody's emailing in their things. So thank you all so much for emailing it in. Guys, It's been a real pleasure. I'm Arden Marine Brendan Smith. Will you come back and join us later in the season. Will you have me back? Of course we'll have you back. I love that you

love Becca, love Becca, that guy. I love you. I'd be good to you. Yes, you probably you probably want to take your fun and parties. You can leave me alone, Katie. Thank you for you're fine. Thank you. I just got one wish where you read some for you accept this rose into your word