"Kitty Needs His Milk!" With Bryan Safi

that we got you today. Anna, Okay, this is truly gonna This franchise is gonna make me go bankrupt because now we're doing two podcasts a week, and so we're doing this is the first ever show for the first ever episode of The Bachelor Winter Games, what might be the most important show that's ever been on television and also simultaneously the most racist. Um it's hard because my love for it was so pure until the very end, and I'm like, oh, I felt really racist. Here's the thing.

So then but it's like I'm in the middle, like I have to earn some fucking money is pilot season. But I was killing time last night trying not to learn things that I need to learn. So I had to watch Bachelor Rida Games. And then at the end when they were like tune in Thursdays. I cannot keep First of all, it's like two hours, and when I watched it takes me like seven hours because I write everything down and it's like, this is the height of when I have to learn to try to like tap

dance for like dance for my supper. But you know what I'm in it to when it. So here's my decision. We're gonna do one regular Bachelor podcast week and one one the episode of Bachelor Winner Games. I didn't know it was gonna be on Thursdays, so each episode on Wednesday will be the Thursday and the Tuesday, well, then it will come on Thursdays. To deal with it, my Valentine's to my right a man that Twitter was my

vision board. I listened to him and Lauren lab Kiss's podcast and I was like, I don't know who you are, but I want to be your friend. And I I literally the only person I've ever reached out to and was like, I like you, yeah, I've never done that to anyone. I have been a fan of yours for so long. Was it my New Hampshire State Lottery commercial? It was definitely it was I have it on play it every morning and it's your go to. That commercial was my vision board. I literally saw it. It It was like,

this is my life plan. I just for some reason I end up a l in on your Hampshire's okay, Mr Brian, supping is just throwing shade. How are you, Brian? I'm so good. Last I mean, I know we're gonna get there. Last night was a shock and I'm so glad you led with the racist thing because it was like it was this is so fun, this is stuf. At the end, it was like what the fuck is happening. I feel like it was a real big and switch of like that, and then that's how you become a

member of the KKK, Like this is fun. I like cheeting. I like that, Like wait, I'm in a pointy cabin burning crosses on lawns, Like wait, you tricked me. This was nothing but fun. As people from all over the world were in ver much the funniest, like the great That's where it started wrong was Invermont, which is literally whitest state in the country. Literally, Vermont is it is. I love Vermont, and they were like really progressive with gay marriage. It's a great, groovy state. It's the best.

But you're looking at Manchester, Vermont, and I'm I'm as white as it get. I am the whitest person on earth. I've spent some time in ver much. It's not diverse, and it's like a get out state. And then everyone's very liberal and very cool. What's happening that there's exactly exactly like then? You know they try to be would they would try to be too cool if you're like the like like they're like, we gave you Bernie Sanders were cool, so so they they it was the whitest parade. Okay,

let's just start. Okay, Okay, let me just say who else we have here? We have with us? I already can't do it. Sammy, Jammy Juno, Sammy, we really felt for you last week during Debbie Ryant's episode Debbie End. If you're out there listening, she's first of all, so in she watched Winter Games last night during getting ready for a premiere, and she said that, um, she sent me texts of like trying to hunt out. She's gonna bring Becca m in for us. She's like on the

Becca m Hunt. No, Sammy, you've never watched any episode of any Bachelor podcast of any Bachelor's show ever. Is that correct? Yes? Correct? And you agreed. I saw you at Aaron stand up show the other night. I was like, will you watch the Winter Games and be our person? And you said yes, I said, and you watched it. I watched most of it, so you didn't get to the super racist far no, but I'm I'm shocked that you said that there's some in the end, because it

like started out racist racist. I got in the after interview with the gal from Japan also Scot My god, dude, the after interview at the golfern was amazing. I love her. I love her so much, and I'm like, what is It's like, okay, we'll get to that in a second. And to my left a woman that is fucking cool, you know what I mean. She brings She's so cool that she reads school, whether when we have no air

conditioning up here this morning, Oh my god. She's so cool that she actually has like a real job, like and she sneaks out to do this ship. She's invested in a pop farm, which is cooler than I. She's also my financial advisor. She's like twenty one, even though she's not. But she's going to own like in my mind, she's gonna own like like eighteen like investment properties, you know what I mean, like shopping mall. She's so fucking wise with her money. She like put money in bitcoin

and sold at its height. Like I just want her to be my everything. Miss Anna Hosnie and your how's your podcast going? Ethically ambiguous? It's good enjoying it. Are you really good with financial stuff? Yeah? Our dad's are wiz her DAAs Persian, So I was forced at a young age to learn investing before we get go, and do you have anything you want to promote? Um? Notice that you looked at me with such disgust right now. I think you were like, do anything you want to promote?

You know what? I was my own self patriot of like girl. You should have learned your audition for that was my own fear every Thursday. You're such a fu delight. So every time I'm with you, I want okay, and then I want to say because you know, I'm the Hyena in Political Lava podcast. Um, speaking of that, I will be at Hyena's in Dallas during my political stand up. You know I'm so known for my political stand up. I will be in Dallas April six and seven. That's

a really fun club. I will then be in Alaska only the big stay. I will be there over State Patrick's Day, um the sixteenth and seventeen, and then we will be at Moontower the weekend of April. Here's the thing, here's what I figured out. Guys, they haven't announced as yet. We're not even supposed to be saying this. Here's the deal. I don't need to be left out. I've been doing some digging so it appears. Don't fucking email them because I will be kicked out of the things. So this

never happened. We can't put it on our Facebook page. Go to Moontower Oddity Festival. It's in Austin. You can get the like the main passes are sold out, like the weekend big passes, or or I don't want to get left out by the time they fucking announced us. You can get like get the cheapest bedge and come see us, and you can come see Tinkled Twins and stuff with me and Dana Gould and and Aron fully. But I think you can go before they sell out. I want you guys to get them, so go get

that one. I think you need the pass to get in. It's the cheapest one. An you're not in your head? What do you think? Yeah, I will look it up and i'll post it on the We're not allowed to. We're not allowed it's in my contract. I'm not supposed to know. I'm not in my contract, you know. I email us at Rose podcast at gmail dot com if you have any problems because we can't post it. All right, we're in Alaska. I'm just curious. I'm doing Fairbanks and

I'm doing Anchorage. I did it Fairbanks once and I was like, is this gonna be terrifying? And it was the greatest. It was. I played in this like Quanta Hut in the Woods that Snoop Dogg had just played at called the Blue Loon, which I'll be playing again. The most fun. I feel like they're like so fun. They just want to party and drunk, drive and take you to see the northern lights and go curling. It's like sort but my god, Alaska. They should have hosted

it all. Right, here we go, Bachelor Winter Games. It's a The voice at the beginning was incredible. I gotta get my glasses out. I keep trying to pretend I don't need glasses, but I need glasses. I don't remember the voice at the beginning. The voice at the beginning was like they made it so I think they did a really good job. That's so distracting. Oh is that that's it? That's it? What does it say? How much

is the cheapest pass um worth it? Okay? I want to also just throw out there Alexis and Jasmine are coming in to do this this particular podcast next week, and Alexis hooked me up with Raven because I was like, I want to wear a gray suede outfit at the show at moon Tower, and Raven is sending me a leopard print mini dress from Grace. I can't, Alexis help me pick it. I said three choices to Jasmine and Alexis. They're like, oh god, that's horrible. They were like, oh

um uh leopard is so you? I was like, is it great? If you think so? All right? Got it's like mini. I think it's like the leopard version of the Sexy Pilar room that I wore at Scotch Frezz. So, which is my way of luring I'm trying to lure Raven to calm Debbie Ryan email me, and it's threatening to come to Austin. Paget is thready to calm, and Laurie is coming. It's gonna be a packed house. I feel like Leopard's never taken off from man has it?

I might just like but I don't know what it would be, just like a silk by nup or something or fo Yeah, I'll just I'll just struck a leopard. I'll ease into it with a leopard, or like pajamas, like leopard pajamas. That's sexy. What about or what about? What about? Like? What about like a leopard print blazer? Like I feel like Mr Turk like a leopard blaze. I feel like Mr Turk would. Also, I don't know where my glasses are. Here we go, I'm a disaster.

A right, guys, talk amongst yourselves for one second. Talk about how race. I actually want to talk about the show was completely racist. But I actually want to talk about bitcoin prison. Yeah. I have a friend who invested and they made a quarter of a million dollars office. Yeah, it didn't even invest that much money. Yeah. I did it when I was in college because I was in a weird tech program and everyone was like, it's the new thing, and I was like yeah, nerds, and so

I did it. And then one day I realized I was making a lot of money. How much how much did you put in? I got it when it was like very cheap, So I did at twenty eleven. It was like it was like less than have you ever been to her mind? I love her mind. I've been too. I love her. I spent a lot of time in her mind. Of course I have. I'm Ardent van Amorage Marine van ams from the Little Compton Marines. Okay, so here's the thing. So we get to we get to

a celebration of uh something, unity and love. Then we see Ashley I in her botox face. She's like twenty five. I have never seen so much botox. I think she's beautiful. She's so pretty girl. If you could just play it a little cooler, maybe in Vermont, don't wear I love a bright red lip. I'm wearing a bright red lip

right now. Maybe he's off on the mob and like neglige and kitten heels like a with like jeans, yeahs, like a body suit, thong lace and like and she was actually just like if she she had like the pomp pomp hat on if she just wore like like a sweater and jeans. Yeah, so sexy. She's so fucking pretty, and but she is the number one boner killer for men in America. Her tears for sure, like you've never met a less sexy virgin. Well yeah, yeah, it's so just so, it's just so you just cringe for her

because it's so obvious what you shouldn't be doing. And it's when someone is talking to someone else you shouldn't have a breakdown. No, it's it's honestly, Okay, let's just talk about Ashley. Let's just start with actually because I feel like her so Ashley. I this is her jam just so you know, Sammy, she's a virgin. At this point it's too much. Just go lose it to some trucker or something like, you don't know some stand up anybody, Matt McCarthy. I don't he's married. I don't know. I

don't know somebody to take her virginity. Who's like, I don't know. Gerard Butler, Gerard Butler, Gerard's hilarious. I love this standof I love it talks all about like the Irish more like the Scottish country Oh my god, I love it. He kills me. You know what? You know what was picture picture Gerard Tempert? Ashley, I, that's the exception. Do not let you dear. He's on planes, like, not in the bathroom. What do you mean that the thing

that happened recently? Like, what do you mean? He's just like some French rich I'll do whatever the funk I want. And he stood up in on a plane. I was like, that's not. Get ready for my most racist accent ever. Every every accent I do is racist. So he stood up in the It was just like, I'm gonna pee right here. I'm going to be like, yeah, about exactly,

that's the accent. And I'm just like cloud y'all s at the make a yellow egg with the yellow egg yellow egg business talking about someone who fought the hot by the end of the ass, I'd say he started off so hot. And then I was like, oh that's glass. He never was you were okay, okay, okay. So then so then we get Ashley. I she goes, Kevin is the Canadian Ben Higgins. I'm like, is that a good thing?

I haven't ever wanted to fund somebody less? Sorry, mom, I'm sorry, mom, I haven't fully reminded me of Michael Jackson when he becomes a monster and thrower got really big, so cute, and told he looked like James Morrison. But then my friend Laurie said that he looks like that boy from There's a Lot, There's a Lot of Like it was like a six head. It was like it was like it was like and it's almost like he

knew it. He was like, I know, I'm cute. He was walking up, means okay, we'll get there one second. She goes, and I am going for Kevin. A virgin's got to do what a virgin's gotta do. It's like stop either lose it or don't lose it, but stop talking about it. I'm not Oh my god, my mom now listens. So like I was about to say, I'm not flaunting my anal virgin, but now because my mom, jan i'mor e from a little content real estate for all your summer rental needs. I can't just like a

throw out with that. But mom, you know, like you'll be like you don't know that that's still intact. Okay, So like Canadian bed higg and she's crying. She's weeping. Um. So then they go, oh my god, I literally can't read. They go so so fun Winter Bachelor Games, It's going to be history is written the thrill of the chase. And then they have in their people snow plowing and eating it on sleds. I thought, this will be fun, like they have a good sense of humor. Is like

Bachelor in Paradise. I mean it was. It was an amazing train rap. You're talking about the first competition, Yeah, the whole No, just the opening of the opening ceremony. Also, like it was also such a shock to see like America, fifteen people in Japan, one person. God, they have one person. They have a parade with horns and I wrote white people behind Chris Harrison. It was entirely white. It was entirely white. It was bad. Also, the one black woman

got zero. She didn't even get introduce like and she was I didn't like, I didn't even know she was so pretty Okay, we'll get there. That that was a bomber. Okay. So then Ben Higgins, who's if we were, He tried to run for the government of Colorado, Republican government. He goes the happiest day of my life was when Lauren and I got engaged. But then Laura and I faded apart. Is that a phrase? No, not at all, And I'll

tell you he has been. He gets so I used to think he was so attractive, maybe this is me, but he just gets pastier, more unshowered. And yes, he got he got like nick Like. It's like he got so up in his own business about worrying, like self conscious, like he couldn't just be free and loose. He's sitting there in an empty club chair where Lauren used to be, like, I'm like hoping. And so then they go, they go all over the world. People want to be in love again.

And then we've got Bibiana, our little meat ball says um, I'm so glad she broke out by the way, Oh my god, Bibiana. This was the highlight of my show for me was Bibiana as like sought after. I loved the flashback talking to Crystal that is like, okay, get ready for the most racist extent. Never if I am trying to talk to my man, you better back to fuck up, Mike. Drop love her And then you see her roller blading in a high cut white one piece

bathing student yeah, with full glorious Stefan score. It's just so ridiculous. It's like, oh my god, it was. It was so it was like everybody, yeah, Congaana, Yeah, it was like like Morocco by the way she had. She had my heart to begin with, but she extra had my heart when the roller blading happened. You. I love it, and I love watching her fight and trained because you know, she's like, she's a straight a student. You know, she takes it. She's about being fair. This is not fair.

I set up the telescope in the bed, I'm training. I'm here for love. I'm gonna win. You're lucky she's not auditioning against you today. She would have been like fun, I would have done, executed my podcast and learn my lines, just just not just put on a quirky shirt. So then Dean, so then they go, you might know me from season four of Bachelor in Paradise, Like, no, we know you from Rachel's season with your dad, who was like the swami who hit you with the dead mom

and the gne um. But he's like, I was kind of a jerk Raman or Spaghetti. I'm in decisive, Okay, I'll do Raman. Nothing was sadder than and then we see him shirt opened skating. We met him in San Francisco. We kind of love so handsome, he's a sweetie, and I just say, he really won my heart and he didn't, but I really liked him. I like him. I love him.

When she when um Leslie said about her breast like you be the judge, and because well you should be the judge, I was like, great, that was actually kind of like very feminist. I thought so too. And he actually seemed unlike Ben Higgins or Nick like he actually is. You know, he got really trashed online after Paradise. He seemed to be able to just go in and like just have fun again. He wasn't watching himself. Anna, what do you think of Dean? Oh he's great, he's so cute,

and he's so cute. What wasn't so feminist? Just when during his like opening, when he's running on the beach and then they barely catch a glimpse of the checking out a woman's eyes. Oh it's so good, it's so good if you just freeztre him on that he's like running and he's like, yeah, I think I've changed a lot. And then it's he literally for five seconds, check up. I feel like it was like like a nineteen eight

three like college comedy starring like Steve Gudenberg. That's like, you know, and then like there comes Gloria Stefan and here like white thigh high like like him kee cheese, you know, and that is like and then we're back in Vermont with like the white people of Vermont like a mooseli road. Gum, Now that's anarchy, lady lip. Did you see her? Oh? Did I see her? So then we met Claire. She's thirty six. She um, she's thinking

it always ends the same horrible. So I had retirement, but I didn't say it doesn't mean retire from winter again. So funny. Such a hooker, she's so her face has also been an extra botox, like it's just it's just but she was. These international men don't know to run from Claire. They don't know that she is horrible. See. I don't know too much about he because I didn't watch one public season. I don't watch one public season either,

but I did watch the two seasons of Paradise. I saw Paradise with her to where she was like, remember she stopped a Rose ceremony because she wasn't getting enough attention, a little bit of a sad. It was like, okay, you know, I'm just gonna stop her right here. It was like nobody wants nobody wanted her, so she had to like stop the whole proceeding. She has two of the best looking guys in that house. Yeah, with with Ben one and what's his face Christian Andrew Andrew Christian

Christen Anderson. Oh my god. So then when you see Josiah, we're reminded he's from Rachel's season. He's a lawyers, Like I was kind of arrogant, but not gonna happen this time around. Physically, I'm blessed. And then he kissed his arms. I want to like Josiah because he is so good, he's so cute, he's a lawyer. He had a great story. But then his we'll get to it. His kissing style might be worse than the fucking present day are like, it's like, I don't know what it is. I think

both of their kissing styles are the best. You love it, want that slop, you like it, You like like that, you like the gay, the lap of the kid. He got to get his milk, his milk when you're watching my new after State lottery commercial, exactly, you just jerk off, going he's got to get his milk. Except for my auditions, what I do thoughts out loud? I fully your kid. He wants for every thought he'd It's how many times we referenced lesly Con. It's so funny because I've never

like taken I love it. I actually but I but I said that Becca am I I would been calling Becca leslie CON's pride. Try to enjoy it. By the way, you're dead on every time you mentioned you pretty much take it? How are you still taking loss? What's the deal? Is she as good as everybody says? You know the technique? What's the technique? What is it? It's really just like she really makes listening in an audition like so feasible. However, you can also get it from just a coaching session there,

which I do sometimes now for auditions. So what do you mean, like, how do you listen? She just makes it look she just breaks down the script like so technically I really don't want to be talking about on the script. So technically just makes sort of like a map in a blueprint for yourself to wear like you just sort of nail at every time, like you don't um do you know what I mean? And so you you basically write a thought down after every piece of punctuation.

I know, but then like fucking kidding me would have it takes like an hour. That's so boring. I know it is boring, all right, you know what I misst with what I'm doing. I'm not endorse. I'm not here to endorse it, Nico. Next next week, I'm like, guys, I'm enrolled it big level one, well be gone. I can't wait. I'm hoping. You know what, we don't buy it. It's like you're hitting. It just doesn't feel authentic. Okay, So then we have, okay, a man named Leslie Murphy.

Oh no, this is a lady Leslie Murphy. There's a man coming up with a lady name Leslie. She's adorable, she beat breast cancer. She had a double mistake to me eight months ago. She could not be cuter. I I feel like they hand picked her for Dean. I think they brought her like Demo the like. I think they knew they would love each other. Yes, but I was just gonna say it, seems like genuinely sparks are

flying love. I hope they get married. You know what, it's my it's my hope, it's my it was my reslution. I do too like they do. They're so great together. If if Dean is not married by the end of I'm going to jump off the age in the Hollywood, and right beforehand, I'm gonna punctuate my thought of why I'm doing it. I'm screamkas or milk and I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna go that's for you, lovely. I'm gonna commission

someone to make me a pair of brick shoes. I'm gonna go to the Santa Monica pier, tie them on, block off the ledge. It's like a lepard and I laced them on at my car and I have to walk all down the pier in my cement wedges or my brick wedges, and my leopard flows strong. Find you the hottest skating up like kind of like, don't do it, do it? Don't do it? And then the white people of Vermont are like jomp jop jop job job jumps. Okay, So then we have Ashley I the Virgin botok a psychic.

It told her she's going to meet her husband on an international journey. It's like Midjeer in Vermont, Okay. So then we have Um, I still thought, how shocked everyone else? You remember all the stand up interviews where they were like, did you know that there's people from across the world that are going to be here? We're like, what did you think? Dude? And they were like this, like they were so stunned. So we get to the town. Chris Harrison is there with Hannah Storm, which I loved, and

Ashley Brewer the sportscasters. I loved it. She was an adorable blonde. I'm like, I'm sure somebody's going to try to hit on Ashley. Um, Lady Liberty pouting um. And then we have Luke Eric saying it's miracle season. Yuki from Japan. It says, they say, here comes from major race. I think she speaks the language of love. She does

not speak English is how they introduced her. Absolutely, And also just that was such a minstrel show with her, like they really really treat didn't give treat her fairly. Oh my god, she's not a clown and that's what it felt like. Oh no, they found like the like the it was like the fantasy of every grooty for every grooty like white dude who was like, I doesn't want a young japan Like, you know, it's just like

it was. It was really tough. It was yeah, thoughts, I was I struggled with her because I was like, I loved her. I loved her showing her yeah, like to be the clown like she like the comedy of everything she says that. I was like, this is where like yeah, and she's adorable. She couldn't be cute. Fuck them for not bringing to Japans she could like. And then I felt bad like the girl that they were the sweet, sweet little angel that they brought from China.

It's like they brought you know, it's like they didn't they brought the girl with the short hair isn't as cute as the girl from Japan. It's like it was more just she was a badass those ze like I felt like that she would never be on in the US, which I know we'll get. The what she wore of the road ceremony was so fucking cool. She was like I know, I was like I wanted to get to

know her. Okay, so then we have so then they go oh, she goes, I know, thank you, okay, hello, good bye, and I'm like, oh, that was from watching The Bachelor. So then we have Canada. There's two guys. Kevin, which is from the Michael Jackson. Yes, yes, so then better with hat on, bad hair, Firefighter. He was engaged six months ago and he's just been crying and working out ever since. Do you think he's sexy? Okay, okay, because okay, he was cute with the hat on. With

the hat on, he was cute. I like that he liked to be Beyond, Like he seems like a super nice That's what. Like the fact that he was a fire he actually felt like a real guy, and like the fact that he's feel like he chose of all those sort of Barbie dolls, he picked be Beyond. I was like, how are you still singing? Like? It actually made me go out like this guy. I like him a lot. He seems like a cool guy. What did you think, miss Sammy? I just, uh, the only thing

I can think about with that. I was like Bibiana was talking in her interview, she was like, I was attracted to Kevin because and then it cut to Kevin in his big forehead and my my initial thought was just like because of his five head, and yeah, yes he has a five head. I wonder if it's a sign of intelligence or something. Rachel had like a sixth head and she was smart. It felt like his hair may have been thinning a little. Yeah, when he might be bald in a few years. That's all. It was, like,

his hair is thinning. Can I just say, though, I am so glad that ABC gave it this to us. I it's gonna be hard to keep up with six hours and that's sort a week and the height of violence, but I'm going to do it. But it's an amazing It was like jaw dropping of like what is on my television? So then they go, so then they go, there's one competitor from England. She flipped off. She flipped off the guy in England. She's quirky. It's like what, I didn't know what made her quirky except that she

wore for the entire time. That was like a she's like fuck animals, sham animals, fag even though like faux first so in right now, So then we have Australia. Oh, this is exciting Tiffany. She had a love connection with another woman. She's open to dating both sexes. I hope she stays the whole time and runs away with some cool woman. I love that she's here. I love that she's here. Courtney, he was not in love. He said goodbye. I love a man named Courtney who wears like magician vests. Dude,

you were like a coldbalt magician vests. He was not hot And what a bold move to be, like, I don't think i'd be in love with you at the end of this, when oh my god, I loved it. So then we have Sweden, we have the lip jobs coming talk to me, Talk to me. The lip job. It was like, what do you think it was? But do you think those were her laps? No? Where those are lips? You couldn't. Yeah, I saw her and I was like, all right, they I guess you know, maybe

it's covered there. It owe us like it almost felt like God bless Lisa Rana, But like when you got him early on and then you couldn't undo it, or like Meg Ryant, you know, like they've been people they do it. It It almost felt like like she misjudged and now she's got it. But who is that, like cat lady like yeahs Like Sweden, We've got Jose okay. So then there's um Finland, we've got the Santa from Lapland

come in from oh god, Jenny, okay, who cares? So all these people come in and then um and then they go lift fun fact about Lily. She's gotta slough tattoo on her behind. I mean, can you think of a reason to do that. It's like, oh, Hannes, yeah, you're drunk alcohol right, yeah you watch yeah exactly, You're like, oh, you know what, I love Kristin Bell. I'm gonna put on myself. I love it. I just write off of

her dog Chapper. So then we have um. So then we have the guy from Germany who then said this racist thing. I have did it that China woman, I have dated black woman, the Russia woman, dark light, when a woman looked beautiful. I like it. It was like racist and sexist all in one. I was like, whoa, you're what people think of Germany dude, dial down, dial

it down a notch Anna. He makes me think of like the really foreign dude that you unfortunately just can't get past his accent because it just sounds so Goofy's action. I'm sure he's like a real smooth, cool guy in Germany. But you're right. When they had that face off of Ben Wah speaking in like Quebec friends and then and what's his name against Christian Christian speaking, it was like, oh wow, I didn't realize what turned me on? Dude, it was it was And then I just say it

truly was the greatest opening of all time. I again, I appreciated. I appreciated ABC for giving us this fucking treasure. This, this is what happened? Was it not playing? Do I need to turn it up? How do I get that to happen? What's happening? Okay, let's start this over, let's start Okay, this is we can cut this little part out and here we go, this precious treasure as we sing the Bachelor Winter Games and I can't. And then they have Mola cream, which you know is a fake

to fight for that look fully making it up. I got Commodia in Porto Bayart when I'm fingered by Nick and lapland Vin Lynch. My dad caught me off from my trust spot. I got drunk and made out with a p A. I hope my Instagram followers at all time, he goes us over much, your caucasionssens Hi will make love to not thank you so much. And then they have Trista and Ryan after these hornblowers, which was amazing, these hornblowers that that I just want to say, your

version made so much more sense. I auditioned to play that part, but I didn't. I didn't do the work for it because I was watching The Bachelor's honest, Okay, I see you're not a hard worker. I just say. When when they brought on Fianola Fila Clay, yeah, I thought of you because you last time you said something like you know him, you love him, like you know, you know who these people are. No one ever, Frank will you if she's real? Fiania La Craze, Okay, there's

no you know that. And then they brought out Ruthie Collins and I wrote that show ever on television right after that Ruthie Collins. It's like you'll start with Diani La Cree and then you go right, it's like a one to punch of like you go to the headliner. Oh my god, the amount of babies that have been made to Ruthie Collins songs. Oh, it's just InCred. She really is. She is mys Bruce, you know what I mean. She've followed her on You've seen her live fifty seven nights,

seen her like fifty seven times. I saw her in Omaha, I saw her, I saw her in Juneo and those are only three cities seventeen times. And she playing died And is she gonna be playing when he died? Here? Cement wedges, she'll be singing my my swan song. Yes, Bachelor because Dean and his lover did not find love. I don't remember who said it, but I think it was one of the Swedish women. But when Ruthie was performing,

this was this was the only quote about Ruthie. She goes, Ruthie Collins performed her song and I'm so excited, dude. They couldn't even they couldn't even feed her the name of the song. Ruthie Collins performed that song and I'm so excited. Was she real? It's the only thing her name comes up with this with the Bachelor, So it's not real. It's not real because they knew, they know, they do it on purpose. They do it on purpose.

I did not know that. So then Ashley I started crying, just like, let get friend zoned by the US guys that I'm not going to get friends out by the American guys. Um. And then Ben Higgins says, every time I've done the Bachelor, I've been the better for it. It's like that means you've done it too many times. If you can say every time I've done it, I've been the better for it, You're it's time to It's time to tap out and go back to, like I t exactly what makes you a great person? Being on

the Bachelor again? Yeah? Again? Watching him cry coming. He's a bad looking crier too. He's no Becca m Yeah, there's something very fragile and like he makes me nervous now listen that I don't care about. Lauren was too good. She hated me. I watched like three episodes of that fucking Ben and Lauren happily. She hated it. She was so disappointed by his little house in Denver. It's like, this is it. She's also already in like a committed relationship. Is she is with him? Some guy? I don't know.

He looks like a tech guy. Where does she live here? Venice. Yeah, you know, she moved straight to They had the most disgusting when they flashed back to Ben and Lauren like proposing or whatever. When he goes, you're my person, she goes, you're my person. I'm like, that is nauseating. You can't say that and then have them not be your person exactly, Like it's it's the grossest thing to ever say. It's so gross. And then if you say that, it's like Jay King, I'm moving to Venice and I'm gonna I'm

gonna be whatever. I'm gonna marry, a flight attend. I feel like Ben Higgins is a baby talker, like I feel like when he's a relationship is like I love you anything like post that is like I need to get a picture girls, Oh you're my post. I've never seen herself grossed up. So then oh gotta so then I go to the I gotta say the hotel looked so cute? Did I loved the villa at Hermitage. If you want to sponsor us, we can do a live podcast.

Don't worry, everyone mispronounced it in the episode. They called it Hermitage. What is it? Hermitage is so cute? So the leg you're and then somedings ago is you can actually fall in love with a person from another country. It's like, are you fucking yeah, no dudhi. And they also said, I don't remember who said itout somebody On that note, someone also said it's like having an odd version of me. It's an odd odd, like odd meaning foreign.

It is so shocking that people think this way. And also people who are now officially an entertainment God, they're so odd. It's like united, Come on that guy any skating up in her white side. That cut of that bathing suit was amazing. Yeah, She's like, fuck it, that's why I love And she's like, no, I'm in a to win it. So then they have the French Canadian ben wah, and then I gotta say, I don't find French Canadian guys sexy, and neither do the French they.

I'll tell you it is nothing is more fun than asking a French person to imitate a French Canadian person. And it's like, by the way I had the where I have, I'm the least successful linguist you will ever you. I'm runner up. Okay, So but I do know that they're like like they hate them. The real French hate hate that they hate. That's just so awful. We don't hate the British. They hate us. They hate us. You know what, I think if you start in Europe, you

hate the North American version of that. And you know what, I'm on their side, you know what, look at what we're making. And yet it's amazing. It's like it's like God's mom, plug your ears. It's like this show is like I feel like I'm just like hate sucking myself, like I love this. It's so I love that. I thought was hot. Talk to me. He's not my type. When he started speaking no, no, that was cute. He knew it though he knew it. He knew it. He

knew it. But I don't know. There was something about him that I was like, God, you seem I don't know, intelligent, sexy, all that stuff. I liked him. That's when actually I rolled in her negligent and jeans her like cut up to like her ribs and then just full lace and then just like low riser. She's beautiful, beautiful if you okay, So here's something you need to know, Sammy Ashley. I dragged her sister to Mexico on Paradise and she her sister also like just bursting, like I don't know what

happened in that house. She has like a real Disney princess fantasy, like she wants like a Disney prince. She fell in all this guy named Jared because she thought he looked like a Laddin, and like like like when not, she gets obsessive and she's like the equivalent of like like she takes hostages. She's like a hostage holder and so and she's locked and loaded and but it's weird. You know, she's friends with Ellen, like they bring her on.

She knows what her role is, and yet she seems psychologically so unstable that she actually feels authentically like she's she doesn't need leslie kank, he needs the milk, and that milk is is sucking a French Canadian with the high forehead. I just say she's the definition of getting in your own way, because it doesn't make sense because she's really funny. I think she's charming. She's she's beautiful and like actually it's funny. It's like girl and just

such a self defeater. Maybe like talk a little less about your feelings. You know. I still can't believe she's still a Virgin's her business plan though, like crying virgin brand is crying virgin. It's not a great brand. She's not gonna lose he virginity. I don't feel like until she gets her own series, like say, get married, but I like you right too. Yeah, they should sell the whole reality show where she finally just remember at this point,

actually I'm ready act. We know you're listening, Ashley, and we're here to write this series. Oh my god, that's a good idea. We would and we like you. Here's what we want to say to you. We like you, love you. We okay, So then we have um Chris Harrison tells a joke and the girl from Japan is so bored, which is the most authentic part. I loved watching her reaction of like everyone's also like ah, and she's like what the funk? And I loved it mcause Harrison,

by the way, looks great. Oh my god, you know what. I don't know what happened. I feel like he was having fun. He was that she looked so sharp and that blazer and that it was way better than the corduroy blazer that he haven't. He was greeting Ari and Tuscany definitely. So then we have the beautiful black woman who never gets introduced. Who is that? We never learned

her name? I don't know, beautiful. Do you want to know something from She must have been because I looked up Bachelor Winter Games cast and they've listed everyone but her, Like, I went on two different sites trying to find her name. She remember saying she couldn't have been prettier. It's like, and she seems sweet. All right, we'll get to we get to what happens later. So then we do the So there's gonna be champions, the first ever couple of

Bachelor Nation and the Bachelor World. We've got Ali twenty four. She's fun, she's got a milthy, filthy mouth, she's Australian and so so then they're somebody's talking to the girl from Japan and then she's she's like everyone. She says to him, everyone kissed, and she screams. She goes and she goes, kids kiss and they go yeah, and she goes, Sammy thoughts. I mean, that's how I react whenever I find out that anybody kisses, like the cutest scream it

was like a kitten. I found actually interesting that the Asian country bachelors like don't. Yeah, they just hug at the most. I think that's the final cart one kiss. I mean we're also dirtballs, no, although neither does Sweden in the lips Sweden didn't either. Um. So then we have Luke and Sweden Dean talking to Leslie. My father panhandled for money and my mother sold. Why did she sell temporary tattoos out of the side of her car? That made me sad ordine. They were like full carnies. Yeah,

I made me. That's a lot to overcome. I think that's a lot. He's young, he is. He was so sweet in person. I wish I had his style. He's cute. Everything he wears, even the way he wears it and buttons it and everything. I'm just like, God, I wish I had. He's got really cute ass. I'm like, not even like an ass lady for on a guy, but like when you saw him skate off, like and he's like, he's got a really cute but he's cute. He's just really he wears tight pants, like he rolls up at

the ankles and then he just wears like vans. He's just very young and carefree. He's like he's like he's a venice kid, Like he's got his toe poking out of his old vans. He bought old temporary tattoos. Yeah, and he bought that like outside land Switcher and looks so cute in it. Yeah, he's really cute. Okay. So then we have Bibiana and then she says, Kevin just stood out to me because he's a looker. I mean hello. Um.

And then he says to her, which my favorite. This when we love the show baby On, how are you possibly single? It's like, wow, Aaron calls her the meat Bawl because she's like bet On the Meatball, but the Meatball fell in love? Is that's so mean? Now that feels mean? No, I don't think. It just means she's like scrappy and tasty and compacted, ready to fight. So the Meatball film is that that nice? But there you go? So,

how are you possibly? We love her? So then the New Zealand Bachelor's Um, so she she is with the girl is with Josiah and he goes, you got a booty on you with curvy? We like that. We black men, we like the curves. And then she said, I'm very attractive to black guys. And she goes, I got a little bdonca donk and he goes, I like the B donca donc and then she goes, we just get ready for this accent. We just ended up having a snug,

like a really chicken little snug, like a little tongue kiss. Oh, if someone ever came up to me and said I want a snug, she was so no, I don't need a tissue like it's so she was so cute. Yeah, I loved her. I loved her because he was like, oh, do you have a hole in your tongue? Like he saw that. But I liked that combo even though nobody believed them, I liked it. Josiah comes off it's just like like attention hungry in a way. Yeah. I think he can't break from that at all. He's not authentic

and we just don't trust him. He's another one who just like just fight so hard to be unlikable, and you could be if you just like changed five. No,

I know he's didn't. He have a terrible story too, about like finding his dead brother, like he like he found his like hanging from the tree or something also grew up in like a like a like there was like bullet holes in the wall that when he saw his house like this turn and then the d A. The d A was the one he got in trouble, and he went to the d A and then the d A and then he basically the day he took h on doing, He's like, you can be my job

one day. Right now he's a lawyer. Now he's a lawyer and he's doing I think he's like an assistant d A. It's like, just be a little bit cool, man. I had to be honest with that back story. I don't think i'd be very cool, do you know what? You know what that's harder than temporary tattoos. You like, like Dean and you got temporary tattoos. That's easier than brother hanging on the tree and like it bullets in the house. And you're like, he'd be a little nicer.

You're right, You're absolutely right, you're right, because Dean, no matter what Dean does, American's like, oh Dean, yeah, that's just Dean. What do you know. It's like Dean lost his mom said, well, Jusia lost his brother. You know, it's like anyway. Um So then they go the bioth and we go by the way. That kiss was pretty gross between the New Zealand Gal I did not like. Okay, Sammy, what do you think? I did not like real spy Cat loved it all and I would have met up

with who did I want to make out? I guess Dean. I would big Dean, he's my boy. Okay. So then we had the biathlon. The Swedish girls have never skied. I would think skin and even be all no one schime. If you don't ski, you have to go on the Bachelor. Yeah, that's exactly. You've got two things. We're like in north We've got Fiords in Northoods. Yeah, we've got Fiord. You get ski work at Ikea, or you go on the Bachelor. When I went, I went with my friend to Denmark

and everyone we actually got bored. Everyone was so fucking pretty and rich and like biking around and not a stitching like the dog, like the the ugly people were tends. There was nobody that's not a ten there it was. They were all tall and like happy. I left a suser. Possibly I could not because I'm out of here where can I went right to Newark? So then Ali fell. She was the one from New Zealand. She felt, I feel in my ass, bawn, Oh, I'm not feeling good my asses and he sort I think I just it

all sounds irish. I think it just bruised my bonbone. My bumbone was really hurt. When you when you break your cocks next, we've all had that moment. You're like, you're like, did I just break my asshole? Like broken? And she was in a lot of paint. He was sweet with her. He actually was sweet. And they say like the ice was basically cement. I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that so frozen when you fall on ice,

that ice, skating ice, skintting slacks, Yeah I did. But I'm like, I'm like all ankles, you know what I mean. I was not like I had an outfit and I had like a moth and like a cute pom pom hap. And then it's like it was like a little ginger boy, like a little like a little young male pumpkin, just like the skating up all ankles. That that was me. So that you've seen my childhood life, you've seen how this all happens. And you know my my origin story. I'll find one. I did take one of your photo

albums right through it. I knew that you were a redhead growing up, right. Okay, wait, I posted one recently. Here's one. Let's see what I put up on my brother and I. Um here, wait, let's say I can't wait to get my grace to wait. Here's my brother and I. This is us. And look at that little young You're so cute, how much hair? I look at my brother. Neither one of us were picked first on this words stage. Look at that head of hair. Look

at that young male pumpkin dressed in my brother's clothes. Um, and look at the pants. It looks like I've urinated, But that's just a yellow stripe from my vagina to my ankles. Look at that fucking striped And I was like, did I you ruining myself? Like a memorial daporide? It's like, no, that's the pant that really would think if I saw that kid, I would be like that those parents are terrible. Change that get in her period? What is happening? What

is that? Okay? So then so then then so then we go we learn a little more about um Yuki okay, So so then I love that they have each person. There's like a little chiron thing which, like the text is like Benua and belishus his accent and we have Luke sergeant smolder. So then Yuki she says, I top four, thank you? Are you finding love? It was just, oh, Yuki, She's what am if I go on Japan badgelor what am I going to say? That's what I mean? And

that's what maybe mad about that? Chris Harris, I don't know what else do you say? That's what maybe so mad about that Chris Harrison interview is it was like, why are you asking her questions in English to only to make fun of her? And imagine imagine being on the receiving end of that. She's so cute? What did you think? You look like you're about to say something? Oh no, I just can't deal with all of that.

It was a lot. It was a lot of both both of the like the Asians that they had on the show were just like completely just plucked off of like a fetish website. I mean you like they like when we get to her outfit at the like she put on like crystal stripper heels, Oh my god, the poor thing. She I hope she finds love with somebody, and it's like fuck this, you know. Um, okay, so then we have to Then we have O Kevin from UM Canada. His little Chiron said he's seen Nickelback twenty

seven times. It's like you and uh, he's the nickelback of Ruthie Collins singer exactly. So then Luke goes, um, oh, Ashley, I she's she's got really red lipstick. Bb Afterwards, so they go in that they did the thing. Luke wins and no, the Swedish girl winds, and then James Marsden, me Mas Kevin and Rebecca Kevin and Rebecca in and then okay, here's what you know about Luke. So Luke was supposed to do our show in Nashville. We all loved Luke. Lou was the American shera. It turns out Luke,

it's kind of like Luke bailed on us. Apparently Luke had been like playing all these girls when he thought he was going to be the bachelor, Like I think he I think it didn't do great things for his Yeah, he like canceled on us day of like Oh, I forgot I'm in Austin. It's like, how you didn't know that it's we're in Nashville. You don't remember you tell And then he kept trying to press to like get his friends tickets. It was just really was gratifying to

see him fallow a couple of times. Then he did like cute, I thought, but it seems like his hair is getting bigger up top and less on the side. He's doing a few he's doing Yeah, Oh, I hope it's gonna be like Ardent Center when she was a kid. Oh my god, that that's not even the most. I'll find one where I'll find one where it looks like we're looks like I have like a like like a load of my pants. Oh my god, you've got a

lot of I'll find it. I'm gonna find it. You're I'm on a bike, so confident, so clearly the alpha, which I wasn't. But I'm gonna find you. This photo there get put in this bank bank. So then we go, baby, she's got no makeup and she's talking to whatever mask and she goes, you are my ski instructor. And then he says, I vibe well with BB I like that she's now bb like baby Hoa is now bb um

and then he's he's freaking out. It's so stressful the first date card and then actually I was like, I mean he looked like Tom Brady meets James Morris said hello, it's like a girl down a notch um and he'd be hon He so clearly great for each other. Like I like her, I do too, but I don't like that. I see in the upcoming thing that he's like totally tongue Kish and Ashley I and somebody I don't know who's grinding in that bunk bed? Who's grinding in the

bunk it was? Ashley says, don't she say something like this virgin is going to fantasy? She always says that, and she never does it. It's like, either do it or don't do it, but stop dragging us through your threats. Benny Higgins has been teasing on Twitter. I saw that like he and Ashley I end up together. He hasn't officially said that, but he's been teasing at I hope

he does. I hope he doesn't. I love that If he takes the hit with Ashley, I oh my god, that would be you know what they deserve each other. According to Caitlin, he was the most disappointing in the Fantasy suite. Do you remember that? I always just feel badly for the person who gets kicked after fantasy. Wait, this isn't the one, but this is mebe the cake hat on my head. I'm a time traveler. Did you see that one? That's not the one, But this is

not the one. I'm thinking of it like the dump in the pant way do you say, oh, though, there's a ginger. Oh god, here's a nap on a toilet. It's passed out taking a nap on the toilet. Okay, wait, but I'm gonna give you walk. I have to tell you, I judge people on whether or not a bet it's barbed from strangers love it. So I judge people whether or not I'd be proud to take them in a stroller. And I would be proud to take Oh my god,

they'd be like your son is. People that always be like to my mom, like what a polite young man? I'm like literally, I mean until I was like fifteen, I was like, I'm not a boy. I was touching and I wasn't even that polite, but I appreciate that they thought that. I was, Wait, do you see when I find the dump photo, You're gonna be like, holy shit, Holy Moses. Okay, I'm just gonna cute. Okay, So then we go so then so then um they go out on their dates and oh no, okay. So actually I

gets upset. She starts crying, and she's like laughing and crying. It's like it's literal. I've been the same her for the best two years. I literally said out loud as she laughing or crying, and I couldn't tell which one it was. And then she goes, she goes, I was friends on Central and some girls like are you laughing not crying? Or she goes, I guess it's fine, Oh my god. And then it's like, it's why it's when I do every time? Why don't I ever get picked?

She knows she has to do that to stay on TV. She will also never get laid in her life. I mean, have you ever seen anything less sexy? Do you want fame or do you want dick? She's already chosen fame. I think she wants fame. I think she's terrified of Dick. And so she's chosen fame. So then she goes, So then she goes, I'll have to find that later. So then she goes, we're on the date with Kevin and Bebe, and she's like, thanks for saying yes. He goes, thanks

for saying yes. She goes, thanks for asking me, and he goes, this was the cutest thing ever. I'm gonna win and I'm going to take you next time and we're going to go on date two. I loved that. There is something so sweet about winning for your purse. Did you? Did you love Kevin and Bebe? I like them, but I didn't get that far in the episode. Okay, you're gonna like some of it and you're gonna really hate the rest. I'm so ready. Okay, so glad they just go and sit in a private room. They did that,

went to a dinner. One of them how that they went to some cute restaurant called Cask and Kiln. It was like a restaurant in Manchester. But then Rebecca just got to go outside and watch for five second. Was literally they were like, you have one minute, here's some fireworks, go fund yourself. Maybe out here's a cowboy. Don't be fooled. He's not a good guy. Um. And then they go world's longest kiss. Oh. So then is Dean talking to the girl with Leslie. So they I don't know, they're

googling the world's longest kiss and boob stuff. And then and then she goes, you can be the judge, and then he goes, you're the judge. And then she says I think they look great, and he goes, yeah, me too. I mean your boob is like great. I loved it. I love them. I hope they do get married. So you don't have to jump off the pier and you're cement all writing on the outcome of wedges, and I hope it's high tide if you do jump, so you're not just stuck there awful slowly suck, can't walk out.

I just stay there for low tide and I can't do it like high nude. Have to do it like like so you don't drunk because you jump in, you drown because it's slowly comes and you're stuck in your wedging cement wedges. But I don't want to barrass myself, so it out screen for help. You know that started, I need to finish it. And they're like that, look at that jaunty guy and that nice leopard tubby just really stunny. He slowly comes to people. Kidding needs his milk. Milk.

That's the headline the next day, but only in the Santa Monica paper, that the homeless guy's hand out exactly needs his milk. One of our own diets, an activist nobody knew him. A friendless activist died in his favorite cement. Wedges and ends are wrong, his message, nobody knows. He just gets kitty smilk. I think we all know what that matter. Spc A. I think this episode has to be called Kidding needs absolutely to them. We have France. Okay, here,

Oh my god. You have to medicine for an hour. Everything. You have to pay seven thousand dollars to get it. This is transcendental meditation. For those of you who are not stuck in the wasteland that is Los Angeles. At a certain point by year eight, your soul gets so cross and you're like, I need to I need to pay to go, spend two solid weeks to go to transiental meditation. Will give me my own mantra for three

thousand dollars. That nobody. I can never tell anybody, but if everyone is the same, Kidding needs to milk, Kiddy needs his milk. You're welcome. God, you're learning so much. I want one more tip. I want to say. I went to Walgreen. I'm on an ad never ending battle with this one hair on my chin, my hairhole, and these fucking Tweezers. They never I bought this stupid tweezer man twenty dollars, so I got cheap and I got a two dollar Walgreens like leopard print thing works like

a champ. There you go. Maybe they'll be our new sponsor. Two dollar Tweezers for the hair hole that you have on your chin. Okay, I've had it forever. I don't want to brag. Okay, So then I just saw him, you guys, because I'm like, I'm looking for it. I've never seen it right there. It's blonde. It just grows. It's pertically when I stressed, I guess, stress. What do you want to say, Sammy, Oh nothing, I'm just looking. I'm leaning in definitely like anything, but I'm aware. I'm aware.

Do you guys have any hair that bothers you? Where's your hair? Right? There. Do you have one? Do you have one? Hairless? Every hair on the front, Like I have to put so much products in the front of my head because it's all calax right here. So it's just like full curls, like, oh my god, I wish you had full like batty boop curls. I wake up looking like Mary Pickford like every money, will you please come next time like that, I will pay you so

much money? And I'm by that, I mean okay. So then Rebecca they have fireworks, so then we have Prince. SOI here we go cooking for Claire the yellow eggs, and she was like, um, you look better with your glasses. And then they kissed and then she's like, oh, you're not drinking, just like I'm pregnant. Not a good joke. Not a great joke. So she kisses Benua and then she's like good good, she feels good to feel wanted. You should wear the glasses, you're super sexty, and then

he slides her in. You don't kind of drive me crazy about that comment? Is I felt like she thought she was being like super nice about like, don't wear contacts. Were your glasses, that's how you are, like it's like, don't be embarrassed. It's like I doubt he was. He was like I. She was basically saying, you don't look good without your glasses and should wear your glasses. How insulting. I don't think he looks that great with his glasses.

I actually thought he looked glasses. The glasses are bad, glasses really really thin, and it made his eyes with teeny tiny but we're bad. You know what if you're listening to us, Francois and you don't end up with Claire, take us the glasses and oh my god, I just turned into a one moment ABC. You know, you know what I'm gonna call the German guy. Listen up, aid Off when you likes what would the American one be? Just like Joe, Laurence, Lawrence, Lauren, Lauren or Lauren. It's

Ben and Lauren are really the ultimate Ben and Lawrence. Okay, So then we have um Yuki and she is in her platform things, and then we have Courtney and he's putting on his blue vest, and then we have um. We have there's the vote off. He said five people are going home, but then that wasn't the case. It was one from each at first people were like wait what. So at first I was like, okay, this is a twist.

I didn't love it, but I was like, all right, so they're trying to be like Survivor, Like I get it. So they heard a card clunk so loudly in your life as those cards went in that box, it was like, it was like plink of it. I want how badly do you want to play plink so badly? I've always wanted to? Okay, So I got to go one year to like a gifting suite at like The Four Seasons, which was like somehow like I tricked my way onto a list, and they had like you know those Pandora

like cheap charmers. They had like a Pandora Plinko room, and they I believe it was Ellen Burnston came in, so you basically had to like put a Plinko thing up and then it went down, and then you were like, I get the fucking heart charm or I guess. So she came in and watching them try to so I've

done it. Whatever, you get your little silver thing, which what is actually kind of cute, and then they were like but then Ellen was just like the look at her face was like I'm sucking Ellen, Like what the fuck? They're like no, and she goes, what is Planko? Sheakes so angry about Plinko and they're trying to explain what

plinko is and she didn't want to play that. It was the great My friend and I were mesmerized just watching Allan Burnston trying to figure out what the fun Plinko like, and eventually they like, just give her the bracelet. Interview once it was like it was like a red carpet thing and they were like, what is it like winning an oscar? She goes, who cares? It's not like it's a no about prize. I didn't care. Imagine explained to her to how to play plink plinko for a

thirty dollar bracelet. So then we have so then survivor. This is when it turned into like wait what am I like? What? What? So? Then they're like, Josiah is not here for love? Who's here for the right reasons? It's like literally no one. Everyone's here to get more Instagram followers, maybe to make out Vermont. They don't have jobs, so they probably get like paid a thousand dollars like whatever, and so then um, somebody says you are the beautifulest

woman here. Oh this was Christian to Claire, you are the beautifulest woman here. You kiss? Got more guys on last three days or just kids are one more? Basically he was so strict in Germans, like I cannot kiss you now, you kids, I get your tainted goods. She's like, no, no, you can't. She's like, you know, there's a friendly kiss. She's like, it's the same. I had to go with him, like it was the same. We all saw the kiss.

It wasn't just a friendly hello. No, but why What was shocked to me is that he was so mad about that and then she walked away being like he's the best guy. It was so weird, so like like he would be so controlling as he was so strict and black and white and daddy, you've disappointed and like no, it's you're tainted, you're disgusting. Now. I didn't like that.

Thoughts guys, Um, I have a friend who lives in Germany, and something I've learned from Germans as they're very particular, very very particular, and like almost like O c D about certain things right, and so he seems like the alpha German male were also like, at least you here in Berlin, they're like so sex positive. Well, Berlin is different though, because Berlin is the best and Berlin is also like the it's like the gay capital of the world.

Apparently it's like Berlin right now is like Berlin in the twenties. I think it's just like eight it's just happened. It's just like like a hump fest, Like it's just like super gay friendly. But I think maybe the rest of Berlin might run into the rest of Germany. I run a tighter show. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, I think so. Yeah, um so. Then by the way, side note, there was an ad for Lights Camera Romance with Katherine Heigel coming up. When I was watching, I'm like, what

is that a movie? Or she's posting a show called Lights Camera Romance? That's like that there that they showed like in behind your Favorite Romance. It's like, what happened Kather, And I go, do you have enough money from Shonda Land to just not do Lights Camera Romance? Honestly? And by the way, I always thought she was such a great actress. It's and I think I think I think her personality was do you think that's true though, or do you think that's you do? I think it gets

out that badly. Yeah. I think after she came out like being like a bitch unknocked up or something. She was rude and vanity fairer about something and then everyone was like and then like oh and then you remember that what the thing that I thought was so crazy is during grays I think she said something like the writing is not strong, Please don't sit maybe for an emy, which is so horrible. You're right, that's what it was that was awful. Oh God, please submit me for anything.

The new Hampshire State Lottery commercial that should be submit It must be a big hero in Rhode Island? Am I right? For the lottery? For growing up? Are you like a like a local gal makes good kind of? I mean I'm from a town with like I'm from a town with a general store, no stoplights. So I think in my town, it's exciting, it's a great. It's such a sweet town. My mom, when I first started this was so embarrassing. She was like, I need a head shot. I need a head shot. I was like,

all right, all right, So I sent it. And I've always had like social anxiety. So I'm like awkward in public if I like, I'm a fine here, so like I but like I don't like to leave my like if I know where I'm meeting you, and I know you who I'm meeting them, fine, but like just like random, like just the amount of people that you could run

it this. I've always been like that same. So then when I was on my first show, was on the sitcom and I walked into the we have a General store and taped to the meat scale was the head shot that I sent and it's said Little Compton's own Arte Marie, and I was like, it was like it was like the room started spinning, like Mom, what did it? Just like as if I'd sent it and demanded that it got hung by the meat scale. And then at the time my mom was like, I need another shot.

I was like why She was like, the video store is jealous of the general store. We needed I'm like, I'm not sending you a fing like and it's not that it's just so embarrassing. No, it's embarrassing, but I might be on your mom's side just because it probably made her feel, oh my god, so exciting. She's so cute. Um okay. So then so then they start voting and it was, by the way, Stasi, the lady from um Sweden who did get chosen. She looks like Janis from

the Muppets with the okay. So then um, somebody named Michael is on the show. Who is Mike? I don't know. It looks like he was on mad Men or something like. It was such a weird You're like, who is this guy? So basically it was awful. So they started voting out and aside from that one kind of very crazy looking blonde British lady, everyone ethnic went home. They wrote home, sweet Eric, who was who? Why would you vote off Eric?

It's miracle season. He's so cute. You vote off the pretty black girl, and you vote off the girl from China. I'm like that girl from China to me stood out so much at the road ceremony, like she was like not wearing a gown. Oh my god. She she was awesome, and she was like, I miss here for She was crying and she goes, I was here for finding love, but I was not brave enough, and then she goes, please don't show my face. I don't like when I

make a sad face. She was so cute and authentic and I'm like, oh my god, Like when the producers saw that that's how the vote went, they should have pressed restart and gone, we're going to do the couple saying, because it was like it looked no matter which way you cut it, even if it wasn't in her mom like, like even if it was like anywhere, like somewhere more diverse like Oakland or like sure, the way the chips

fell was so uncomfortable. It was really it left like it started off like Eric, Eric, Sorry, no, just it started off weird, do you know what I mean? And and just but that was about five percent of the show and then just crash land at the end. It was like the beautiful African American girl who remained nameless. Like, no, we never met Eric, who made into the final three. He was like a fan favorite, like America loved his story. He was so sweet. He that like he he was

like local boy made good from Baltimore. We got this sweet. It's like those are the three year cutting you whoever Michael Gardetto's is or whatever his name is over Eric. Yeah, it was really It's just there was no way around to be like, this is really and ABC or the producers or something should have been like, this is not the way we should go no, or they should have like fledged the votes or something like. It was was really racist looking at it was, and it was it

was not great to watch. Yeah, Anna, Yeah, I was surprised because that Michael guy, I don't think he spoke once. He didn't. They would just show reaction shots with him, and every time I'd be like, who is that there was another guy, Jamie or something. I looked at another guy that was not that cute, and I'm like, who's that you picked that dude over Eric. I don't think they even showed him except in the road. I mean,

unless Eric just sucks. But we've never seen anything but like, he was so cute when he when we had hometowns with Eric, he was so charming. He was get your name out my mouth guy. But like he had a hard upbringing and like, but he calmed it down by the end, like he he he seemed to actually be somebody who the Bachelor seemed to be, Like he seemed to kind of learn, like he chilled out by the end.

And that's what you get, honestly, when you hire when you do a Bachelor Winter Games that's supposed to be an international thing and you hired ten Americans and four foreigners. Yeah, that's what they fucking That's what made it just so extra, like the Trump you know. I mean I loved the show. I loved it, and I was like what And I'm like, there's so many tweaks that need to happen to make like the fun part of the fun of like, there should be way more people from around the world. The

game's part is fun. They need to change the voting system and they need to like cut out the blatant racist. I was most excited to see the foreigners only because like when you took glimpses at their bachelors they were so different than Yeah, it was like that, Um yeah, I do wish they had more people from other shows. I mean it feels like they're basically like it's just all about the Canadian guys and the Swedish girls. I don't know guys, um all right, and the Australians. Yeah,

because they liked to party. They love to party, all right, So let's end it on a bank. Overall, what are we hoping to see? How how many weeks do we think this is three weeks of two episodes? I think it is, so it'll be three weeks to Yeah, how long is the real Olympics? I think three weeks? All right. I mean there's a great game, but it is also like it is it is Trump tru It is so much more fun than what's happening on the actual Bachelor

think Olympics BIS. But yeah, it's it's it's fun and you need to be very aware of the world around you to really to really move past. I loved Dean and Dean and I loved Anna Leslie. I love Baby and Kevin and Baby. I love Josiah and um I I had a snog. Um. Those are the three. I'm really rooty for her. Um Ben Higgins. I am excited to see him melt to like vanilla icing in tears. I like this one because I can watch with my boyfriend because he likes that they like fall sports. He's like, oh,

I can get into this. This is fun. I couldn't believe how bad they were at cross country skime, so they didn't even try to make it look like a difficult thing. They were like, so just go here and then you go here, like it seems so there was there was only one game, there was only one sport, but it was like like a whole was it an obstacle? Course I didn't fully understand. It was like you to go two times around, you shoot three times, to go

two times around, you lie down. It was actually very confused how they would get all these people to like do winter sports, because I was like, what if you just never It seems like most people have never done that winter sports, which is kind of fun. Nancy care again talk about and she's there next week. I think she's super Republican. I don't know about that. I'm just always teamed Tanya. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my god? How good was How good was ya? Fucking? It was so good?

It was so good. And she did an interview recently New York Times that was so good where she calls everyone a butt face and she's so true to her brand, you know what I mean. She's so I love her so much. I'm trying to do triple axels in my living room all the time. Now. Yeah, she landed it, She landed. It was fantastic. The girl. The girl is the girl that just got the bron first American and I do like winter sports. I do, like I have to say, I like the skiing stuff, like the ice skating.

I mean, I prefer the winter Olympics over the summer. Liven, I'm with you. I don't want to see those bodies, no and all, No, I don't want to see anybody's bodies. I think I want everybody in a bee keeper off it when they're performance exactly and then when I like that all the kids are like seventeen. But but Sean White, I like the boy that they had to wake up because he slept through his event and then he and he was like, oh funk, and then he got like

the silver. He was like seventeen, It's what you do in your seventy years. Like they're so cute, they are. I love them. Um, Brian, will you come back any old time? I love you. I'm so obsessed with you. I feel like you are a revelation to me. O my god. I really hope that they do get married so we don't have to lose you to the per Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Okay, okay, wait wait guys, I'm gonna end differently than I normally end. This is going out in Phoebe and her roller blading.

I really hope this works. That's it. Hold on, hold on, hold on, pause, pause, pause, pause, Okay, hold on, hold hard. Please don't forget the party. God. Okay, I can't believe I have to go in for an audition. Okay, wait, here we go, Here we go. Okay, Take two. We're gonna end a little differently than we normally end. Guys, we'll be back next week, and allegedly we may have Alexis and Jasmine with us. That's exciting. I know you

know that told you don't ye? Don't we can cons if you're Latina or the Bachelor, this is your soundtrack. This is a fun song. Yeah, carry guy, I'm about to go work out. I might. I might do that song. Don't you can consul enough the future getting us? Don't it be? I can scape? Cookie will get youtiful? More, go get the bottom. I am Bachelor windsor Games. I get horny, a little xenophobic. I think it's like my odd person, but I fear for an access unless you

have French and cook the eggs. My name Clay, I told my serious. I hope baby and the feet, I land every joke. Chicken Why do I alwayski with the red getting my hymn board, the whole song, the whole so much. Ruthie Collins. Ruthie Collins tack this. I love her words. You see how this and I have my way high. It's hard. I can only I've always asked from the cabin Quie word, count your cuad work. You're getting all your your la Craze. I hope he has storm of Chris Harrison got in the bones of I

love that well. I love that. This one goes out to my favorite transformer, Kevin from Canada. Think something to get? What's a more fitting location for an international show? That's right, We're going to Vermont, Chill Yuki. You deserve better. I don't know, and I say so so you're a far stressor think you do that? Guy? Don't think getting something funny Michael Gardetto's The Bachelor, Create you funny. It's very stile as a cleansing rosy all right. I feel like

to dance like the Furance doing dirty dancing. I think she gets it for me much? Do that? Going by now leaving nurvus dot com