"It's Raining Tanktops, Hallelujah!" With Paget's Rival Lori

very best friends. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Laurie him you were a hit last week. A lot of people agreed that you were like the ken Burns of the bachelor world. Well, it's nice to know that your listeners are forgetting a plum standard. You know, actually has a very high standards and does not hold her opinion to herself. Jennereen does not of a little Compton real estate home of all your summer rental needs, although she's told me recently she's sick of rentals, so only call her if you want

to buy a house. Um. She thought you were wonderful, as she is very quick to say if you're not n well, you know, we have that bonding experience on the trampiont even call it. Oh my god, I might be in her grace Kate. When I was in college, my friend Katie loved my mom, Jane Breen, so much that she went to it was like b J's, which was I don't even know if the existiting murther, but it was like what the original costco in Massachusetts. It's

called b J's. And um, she bought my mom a giant trampoline and we would like crack her egg and you guys, and I know that she laughed so hard that she always pies her peace. Did she her peer pants with you? Maybe? Uh? No, she did not pe Peter Pancer. This is actually was the trampoline in Colorado. Wait a minute, what do you mean? But that's what

you remember. And when we lived with Dean in Colorado just a few years ago, when we were Oh my god, you me and Dean, when we were all at Colorado College. That's right, we had a trampoline outside of the wood house and your mother partied like a rock star and jumped on the trampoline. That is so awesome. And many other college friends. She's awesome. She's so awesome, She's terrific. I'm gonna visit her. I'm in Atlanta. Can I kind of just say this show that I can't say anything

about it is coming out in Netflix next summer. It's called Insatiable, and it is so good. It is so fun. My part is so exciting. I'm very rarely and this excited about something. But so I've been in Atlanta. I'm gonna be in Atlanta for a while, but I'm gonna go visit jannat Marine and Mittens. I'm gonna meet her in New York next weekend. She's bringing Mittens to the city. Yeah, she's gonna bring She brings Mittens on walks on a

leash she has. She has a leash for Mittens, and then Mintens has Mint has thumbs, you know, like Mint has like hands. And so she's been giving Mitten's test runs in like farther and farther car rides, hoping. She's never been to the city before. So it's gonna be me, my mom and Mittens in Manhattan next week. Said wow, you know I just attended parade. If she dresses up Mitten's in a costume, she can enter the pumpkin trump effort. Okay,

now you can out for a second. You went to the Circleville, Ohio Pumpkin Show home with the Circleville Pumpkin Festival. Is that correct? You got it. I just returned from the Heartland. Oh my god, how was it? You know? It was great. My kids prefer traveling to the Midwest over going to Hawaii because I think they're attached to the idea that the only vegetables they will beat will be fried on a stick. And one can't deny the award of a pumpkin doughnuts. Oh my god, it was ters.

We had a great time. Now you were in the pumpkin you were like, were the pumpkin Queen? Well, I you were. You were in them. You were in the royal party though, no, no, no, no, I I was not at all. Actually, I um was nominated, but I turned it down as early. Yes, yes, you had to parade around the high school classrooms with the number on you, and I think the boys or the football team got

the vote on the Upkin Show candidates. I wasn't having any heart about how you knew you knew you knew and uh and uh, dude, I have stayed in your mom's house and I woke up to a cat fight over my head. So you have, but you do. You must be happy to be home, I know sometimes do you get Sometimes when people go home, they get little, they get up. Did you revert to your middle school age or which where you have with it? Where? Are you happy to be back in your own home? Oh?

I mean I'm happy to be back. It's certainly quite different from the hard plan. Yeah, And of course you know, being with family as slowly as it can be also be a bit try yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I remember over Christmas last year, I shared my first podcast of the year witnessing a dog hump somebody on the arm. That was when I realized it was time for me to get out of there. I thought, somebody and then and then my friend said, what are

you doing? And the person who is letting the dog pump their arms said, I'm she's just dominating me. And that's when it was time to go. That's when you know that's time to go. When you're like, okay, when you're watching American pickers, watching a person have a like a lapdog dominate their arm is when that's that in case you're wondering, like when is it when of you? When have you overstage your welcome? For me, that's usually a good clue. Yeah, that's a good single that next time.

I want you to know before we get started. So I'm filaming in the morning and I have grown two zits. I have as it truly that is like forties its in one. Do you know what I mean? It's like underground. It's like a mountain. It's like Pike's Peak on my floorhead. It's hiny, you know, and like like there's no this is not palpable. It's like a mountain. It hurts. It's like an egg. It's like somebody like took up golf ball throw it up my forehead but made it a zip.

I cannot I'm like trying. I'm like, do I tried icing it. That didn't work. So I'm trying to put like hot water, and I'm doing a scene where I'm supposed to be in curlers. I'm like, you can't show this for it's shiny. And then I did the hot water last night and I think I burned it and now there's like there's like a blister. It is, truly, I don't think I had is it this large? I don't think anyone's actually ever had is it this large? I think I might have broken the largest ZiT on

my forehead here in Atlanta. But I want you to know before we get going. Um. I was, of course doing my research as I do. We had six hours of television to watch for this week's episode. We're gonna do episodes four through six of the Emily Maynard season. And in the middle of the night les n I was why watching it Friday night and there was a fire alarm for the whole building saying the building was on fire. But pard I was just pissed that that meant that I had to like pause watching what was

going to happen with Ari. Yeah, it was pretty exciting. I escaped, there was no fire, there was even not even a fire department. Was very strange. And I want to say to everybody who's listening along this week. ABC dot Com put it on their website. You can watch for free. You can watch for free if you want to see this, because oh god, it's just so exciting.

It's so exciting. Yeah, and if we can, I also want to say, I'm gonna be at hyenas in Dallas doing stand up December one and second and um and then I will talk a little more at the end of the podcast about emails that you guys sent us about this San Francisco show and things like that. And Lorie can be followed at at batch underscore. LORI l O R I um GLRI here we go. Wow now what I mean? Wow, I'm liking our just the big headline.

First of all, this is a very good season. If anyone is on the fence about watching this season or not, I think it's a very good season. I think our new Bachelor, you know, I still don't want to like him, and there is no part of him that I don't like. He is adorable, and he is delightful. He's fun with the guys, and he's great with her. He's a great We're gonna get to it, but this guy is the greatest kisser known to man. Yes, and he's terrific. Is

he's not terrifect. He's really charming and cute, and so he's buddy's on the show. I mean, I guess we can just cut to the chase, because you kind of can't google this season without finding out who wins. I don't want to point it out. Is it badly not? I won't say. I'm not gonna say. Okay, okay. So we're starting out, So we're on episode four. They go to Bermuda, and so the is this dude named Doug. Doug is who we talked about last week, Doug Um.

But we were concerned were you and I were discussing this week and if you talked about it, because your wealth of knowledge is vast. But he's the guy that looks like the nicest guy in the world, he's the single dad. But then you told us at the very end of the episode that he has an arrest record for assault or for beating the mother of his child, and for shooting a gun into the ground. Is that correct? Yeah?

You know what's interesting about this is if you remember the last episode, Emily Um talks about Doug saying that he's the least angry person. Yeah. Yeah, And you know we heard we heard this backstory about Doug being in and out of foster homes. Really, you know, really sad story. He had a far he had a horrible story. Yeah. And and so what's interesting though, is she asks him what would his ex girlfriends say yes, what did he say?

He said, he said that she would. So they go on this one on Wendy and he's really nervous and he has So it turns out this big, kind of douchey guy has absolutely no game, like he he hasn't kicked a woman in years or something. And she said, if I asked her ex girlfriend, what's wrong with you? He said that his Well, before we even get to that, he's he's he's about to like punch through a glass wall with the guys, but I guess we'll get there

in a second. So he tells her she said, if I asked her ex girlfriend what was wrong with you? He would say that I washed her card. I don't I wash her card too often, and that I'm too good of a dad. Yeah, yeah, it was something like that, that he spends Yeah, he spends too much time with this kid, and he doesn't clean his girlfriend's car. What we really want to say is that I spend my time with my kids and I don't clean my girlfriend's car.

And I've been arrested for pushing my ex wints against the wall and not allowing her shooting the gun into the ground. But yeah, I think it's not watching her car, but it was interesting watching him because this group of guys is actually incredibly charming with one another. And we'll get to I love this season's villain. There's like there's

like the big villain and the small villain. It seems like each season there's like one the equivalent of like this, you know, the mega villain on the on Rachel's season was lead because he was like a legit racist, but then there's also like, um, I feel like people didn't like the guy that wont you know, they thought he was cheesy. Um. So in this season we have Kalin, who was like the shiny face guy. But then there's this other villain named Ryan Um Who's who's who's amusing.

I mean, he's a complete male pig. He's he's a very fun villain. He's a great villain because he's awful, but he's amusing. Um but the guy. But generally, aside from those two, she's a really nice group of guys. And so they're all hanging out and before Doug gets picked, they rile them up about him not having a one on one and he's literally about to punch, Like you feel like he wants to hold all of their necks up against the wall and like punch their faces in.

I know, how easy was it to push this button? It was super tense. Yeah, and are made fun of him are afterwards? Was goes Doug Matt dougs like the Hulk, Doug angry, Doug sad, Doug smashed faces. Yeah, that was great. I mean here he is adorable, but it's true he got completely fired up for no reason whatsoever. And then he told her he used the phrasing I scolded all

the boys. It's like anybody that scolds their peers, like at the age of thirty one, like you're a dick man, Like I don't want my equal scolding me, Like could to schoold somebody when they're five and you're thirty and you're still they're gonna remember you as being a dick when they're adults. Exactly. Yeah, nobody wants to be scolded. But he looks a little roydy. They go on this date,

they go by like glass frogs in and they go shopping. Um, I can say overall watching this season, well, she's not a firecracker like Caitlin. I do like her, like I feel like she's not pushed her on by the producers, Like I feel like she really actually is making her own choices, which is fun to watch. And she's the sweetest too. She's nice, actually has a backbone. She does have a background to me during this season. Yeah, she does, I and and and she really it's interesting because this

is all pre Tinder and stuff like this. So a lot of the guys, like a guy like Doug, and then there's other guys that some of these guys haven't been on dates and like two years, you know, and a few of the guys haven't been on day in two years. I don't think in two seventeen that's happening. I think guys just go on their phone, Like you get the feeling some of these guys haven't kissed a girl in two years. Like I don't think that. I

think the pretender, I don't think. And it's an interesting and she really is a beautiful single mom who's not gonna like you're not getting more than she'll kiss you. But like it's it's a very chaste season. Yeah, oh yeah, and she certainly she certainly is Um is that traditional bachelorette who you know likes to handle herself in a very ladylike fashion. That's those are her words, not mine. Yeah,

and so yeah, she's she's very traditional on that set. Well, it's funny, Like again, the only ones I've seen are Caitlyn and Rachel and Jojo, and they were just much more physical. It was just it's just she's a completely different breed of bachelorette than these three. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure. And and as I said, I think during our last podcast, ABC was over the moon when they got hurt because you know, they could never written a

better story about her. Well, and it's also weird and interesting. It makes the guy, It puts the guys on best behavior because her kid is on the show up through episode five. So like her kids in Bermuda, they go to London, the kids in London, like it's a little a very cute little girl who's on the Bachelor with They know she's going home to her little girl at night. Yeah. Yeah, And I appreciate that she doesn't introduce Ky to any of the contestants. I think that's a smart move. Um No,

And she seems like a really good mom. I have to like what you watch her. She's like, you know, sweet she was like, she goes, she's She even said, and I'm paraphrasing, but like, I don't have a lot of talents. I'm not the smartest, I'm not the most gifted. But I think I'm a really good mom. And it made me like or even more, you know, I was like,

you're you're a nice person. You're she's a great mom. Um. So Doug the guy, the roydy guy, he doesn't kiss her, and it's awkward and and she she says in her confessional, don't make me make the first move. And then in his confessional he started talking in the third person and says, if Emily wants a kiss from Doug, she'll let Doug. No, Emily wants a kiss. That third person, what motivates the person to talk and what motivates Mari to talk about

third person? What motivates when Arden. When Arden's talking in the third person, it's mostly because Ardens has taken over control of her brain. And is I really feel like a C, like a C what do you call? And it's like not in anbup, but like almost like a It almost would be like a jellyfish has moved onto my forehead and that would make art a talk in the third person. Oh yeah, I might have to take

a picture. I'm gonna take a picture and and send it to you in a second of my fort I'm gonna say, see if I wonder if I could text you my as So don't they have a makeup artist to take care of that. They do, but they do. They can just crap out theory. They could in theory they could. Wait, I gotta get some light on this. I don't know if you can really see. Just okay,

oh my god, it's it's the width of it. Okay, okay, I just oh my god, Okay, I don't think it fully is doing justice, but I'm gonna send it to you. It's not fully showing. It's because it's they can It's not even like red. It's more just whole and giant. Well, maybe do you remember our friend Carrie from the college. Yes, um,

do you? She told a story one time how when she was traveling abroad, there was some guy who got bit by a spider or something and then he's just funn he had it and he popped as it and enough hundreds of a little spiders who No, I don't remember that. That is what's happening on your head in time for Halloween. Oh my god, that is if that happens, I'll be so grossed out and excited. I think it's going to happen during one of your scenes. I think

that's just that's so out of Oh my god. While I'm working with a Lissa Milano who I like so much, like I like her, but like I want her to like me. Do you think she would like me less? If? By the way, she started a fucking revolution this week and she's the best and I love her. Yeah with me, Yeah, she started me too, She's the best. Do you think she would like me less? If? Um, a hundred spiders called out of my exit that's on my forehead? I think.

I mean, I can't see why she wouldn't like him more? Really, um, did you did it come through? Did you see the photo? I just texted you? I came through my computer and I know I look here, You're not gonna really fully understand the magnitude of what I'm doing. That's a picture that is No, it's not a good note. No no, no, no, you're not fully seeing. I'm gonna FaceTime you after so I can really show you. Okay, Okay, wait a minute. Okay, so I want to get back to so um, so

he doesn't kiss her, so are just overall? So he's hanging out with this guy named Jeff. The two of them are so adorable together. So there's this nerdy guyl named Jeff who it's like a hitster. And and aside from Wells, I feel like I feel like The Bachelor never really has real hipsters on it. Yeah, you know, I'll say this. We didn't really really talk about Jeff during the last cast, and I'm telling you, Jeff and Ari are two of my all time. They were so cute.

You're so cute. Yeah, so cute. And he's, you know, an independently wealthy former Mormon boy. He saw spoken free spirited and during the season, I remember Jeff was teased relentlessly for his hair and his jeans, but time did him well, oh my god, are you serious? Because he's he's the only one. Are also, Arena loved this skinny tie then, and then if you look at that really dumb good Morning America Meet the New Bachelor photo with him holding out a rose, he's loved the skinny tie.

Into Gus in twelve and he's still in this skinny tie. But he loves the skinny time. But Jeff, he was kidding. He really that he really was ahead of the song. You know these guys, he's so much for his fashion. Backup are you if when you watch this? I mean, I feel like we're watching something from like two thousand five, don't It does not feel like just five years ago. There is one there is one shot Ryan and a

tank top. He's so so. All the guys go on a group date except for Ryan, and Ryan is wearing what appears to be like a women's job bra gymnastics, like a gym, like a leo's hard or like a like a woman's speedo. That he's just like hanging around. So they go to Croatia. They go from Bermuda, Croatia. She got a lot of no wait, they go to London. There in London, they go to London. So he's here at the hotel in London in this like woman's brawlt into the hotel. Is that when you would what would

you how would you describe that thing that he was wearing. Well, you know it's before men or women, and it certainly is like a a camusel maybe, but it feels better than it does, like a job bra. It's like or or like a woman, like a or like a pre teen training bra. It's like a bra. It's like a bra, and then it's caught like a lady's racer back, like volleyball.

It's it's like a volleyball top. And it's very Oh my god, it's amazing because he has very well defined pectorial Yeah, because he was, he was, because he was you know what, you know that he he thinks, he knows he looks good. Like in his mind, he's really stuck his landing. Oh my god, he is just he has so much to offer, Oh my god, and he

can't stop. He can't. When you're in the one, if you're out there and you're if if you have any inclination just to keep telling the world how much you have it, you should let somebody else, even just pay somebody secretly to tell the world how much you have to offer. Because when you're the one keep saying I have so much to offer, at a certain point, it's like me thinks thou dost brag too much? Like it's just like it's good to be confident. But there's a

way to phrase it. Oh yeah, and oh my god, look at to him in a second. It ends on a good one. So they go on a group date and our future bachelor Aria is there and he is sweet and he is earnest and he go and uh and they um, oh, they go to this Shakespeare. Okay, so they're in Stratford upon Avon. So she's lost her voice. She is full eryngitis, and um, Ryan is there. Um

and this is the first time in public. So they have to go do Romeo and Juliet, and some people are assigned to play Romeo and a few of the guys are assigned to play the nurse. And Ari is assigned to play the nurse. And he was adorable because

he legit has major stage right. You can see him actually freaking out and he just makes the best of it and it is such a good sport and wraps his head in the blanket and he just is he's he was just charming and funny, and he knew he didn't want to do it and he gave it as all. He was adorable, Yeah, he was. He was so cute.

And while they were rehearsing for this, I guess this little mini play she had an interaction with Kalen where I mean, I don't know if you want to talk about that right now, but he essentially shoot him away. Oh yes, yes, like whenever. He is like the biggest control freak I have ever seen. Like he he you know, he was the same guy if you guys are listening, he's the same guy last week who said I love

to hear you talk, but like, don't interrupt me. And then he's so controlling that he's rehearsing and she comes up to be like, hi, guys, how's it going, you know, And then and then he interrupts, like shooes her away because he's got to like land his Shakespeare apart. He's awful, I know. And he and he shoots her when he said you need to run along like she's a dog or something. I mean, I would have pulled some grouchy tiger hid vacuum ship and sailed through the air to

take him out. Oh my god, I would love to see you do. That would be amazing. That would be I would love to get to do some wire work and my this in my personal life. You should try to arrange them when the spiders them out of your forehead. Oh, my god, if I could be like, hey, I listen Lano and then fly up in the air like could if they could happen on Halloween and then like all the spiders come climbing out and that I'm just like in a tornado, just like a symphony of spiders and hair. God,

she feel her she was back un charmed again. She and it would just be like I'd feel like so exciting for I'd be like Shannon Dougherty. Um, I asked around just so you know, because I really take this is the most important thing in my life. And so I I asked the makeup artist, why do people have a lot of plastic surgery have shiny faces? I can tell you I have a really shiny face because I have is it the size of Killington Ski resort on my forehead and the skin is getting pulled taut and

it's filled with oil. But she said that a lot of people get a lot of peels and that their skin is tighter. Oh, she thinks it's peels. What are you typing? I hear you typing something. What are you typing? Oh you can hear me typing? Yeah, what are you type in? I'm actually texting you oh my god, Oh my god. I can't wait. I can't wait to see what kIPS up and I have on my do not. I'm gonna have on, I'm gonna put on my I'm gonna take off my do not disturbed. So I gets

did you say hit? Then? What should I should? I just tell you? Yeah? Okay, so London is episode five? I have uh, I have some gospel? Do it? Do it? You can always see gossip, okay, okay, good, well, well we can we can talk about Ryan. Well. First of all, Ryan first mentioned Emily as a trophy one in episode four. Yes, he called her a really good trophy wife. And now, yeah, this was in the this was in the this was in the episode where they did the London thing. Oh no,

we missed the sailing. We missed the sailing. Yeah, we have sailing. We have sailing. We have the trophy wife thing. Yeah, and Chris arguing about age there. Okay, yeah, yeah, good stuff. Okay, let's talk about that stuff. Let's talk. Hey, we're gonna put a pause, and guys, I'm so sorry, it's really hard to keep six hours of television from two thousand twelve in order. Okay, let's talk about we'll come back to the sailing. We'll finish up, we'll finish up the Shakespeare,

and then we'll go back to the sailing. So um um so I've never seen like she was so fucking sick for all of this. She had no voice, but she was a good sport um and uh but I'm sure what the locals must have thought, like the local Shakespearean theater crowd seeing this group of ding Dong's doing Shakespeare in the park, I mean they must have been horrified. Yeah, they I mean they looked I guess it depends how it was said, but they looked like ding Dongs themselves,

and that they might have appreciated it. Okay, okay, okay, you know I would have been a very happy king dog U. And to you is, would you be stoked to kiss someone who is as sick as a dog? Like? Oh, I'm again, she was so sick, and Ryan was so excited that he got to do the kissing scene and

he's still like four kisses from her. I will say, no, Ryan's in my my Let's just call Ryan Matthew McConaughey, because he sounds and kind of looks just like Matthew McConaughey, but in a woman's tank top with um George Clooney Caesar hair from like two thousand three. If you can piss to McConaughey and a lady's in a lady's gymnastics outfit with a with a Caesar haircut, that's Ryan. So McConaughey is all excited and he kisses her. It was a pretty good kiss, even though he's disgusting, it was

a pretty good kiss. Oh yeah, I mean, I just yeah, it was an okay kiss. Um, And she admits that they have chemistry. But you know what I'm wondering is what factor pre empts the sickness? Is a beauty? Is it her sweetness? I don't know, she sounded prey, a pretty sick I even want to kiss somebody's emily. You know what, these guys, I think they get so competitive that I think it's like I think it's more it's about thinking of her as a trophy. And it's like

they're not even they're not even listening to her. They didn't even notice that she couldn't talk. You know. It's like, now is my time to make the advance to the pole position, Like I will kill you know, ha ha ha. I think it's just that they're just looking at her as the object to win. Yeah, I think you're right. So before we lave Bermuda, they do this. It's a group day and they go sailing and um and Jeff

and Ari we're on the same team and um. You know, it was like a pretty major sailing race and um. And that was the first time that Ryan Ryan, over the course of these three episodes, called her a trophy wife, probably eighteen thousand times, like to her face. And she she calls him out each time, like she doesn't take it lying down and um he yeah, he's just kind of disgusting. Um. And then Jeff wraps her in a blanket.

No no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. Arid wraps her in a blanket and kisses her hair and brushes her hair as he kisses her, and Jeff and misses the chance to kiss her, and then kalin Um Calin says as a bachelorette, Oh no, this is okay. I'm so I feel like I'm all over the place. I'm so sorry. It's hard going into order on three episodes. Um oh, I know, it's it's it's impossible but you know, I mean, I think the fact that this begins the discussion about

Emily being a trophy wife is important. I mean, he is so gross, and he's also that guy. If you criticize him for the inherent sexism of saying trophy wife, his response would be something Mike, well, it's because you can't get a trophy wife or you want trophy wift material. He's just so he's such a narcissist that I cannot take him, even though he's quite quite entertaining. But I mean, this is the guy who said, you know, you best be getting your butt to the gym. Uh No, he's awful.

He's awful and he's dangerous because he's entertaining exactly like he says things like God designs you to be a beautiful woman, so be a beautiful woman. No, he's he's well he we have more of him coming up because he has at one on one but like, yeah, he is all right. Let' let's talk about Ryan. Ryan dresses aside from the ladies tank tops he wears. He wears like teel teel driving lovers, a lot of blot cut jeans, and he's really good at being flirty. He's a little

bit of a bad boy. He's fun, he's handsome, and he's the most sexist, and he thinks he's he thinks he's fascinating, and he talks about himself in the third person. He admits to the camera he thinks that he should be the bachelor, um, and that he's upset he sees her kissing Ari at a road ceremony, and he gets very upset and he basically like slut chains hard to her face. He said, as a bachelorette, she's been given a great responsibility and I wanted to make sure she

makes the most of it. Um. It's just like, yeah, God that I need to be a beautiful woman. So be a beautiful woman, you know what I mean. I am praying for you that you would impart young impact young ladies. And when I sit and watch you and Ari kissing, like he just totally shamed her for kissing Ari, It's like yeah, And and would would he still be holding her to that hyper standard if Emily kissed him Ryan, No, of course not not. Yeah. So, I mean he's such

a blowhard. And you know, I can deal with almost any type of person except for narcissistic guys like him lack humility. He expects his girlfriend to defer to him

and his duck dynasty love himself. I mean he is you know, he's awful, girl, He's awful, and he's dangerous because he has a little charm like That's what makes him extra dangerous is a lot of the guys are boring and he they're so earnest, and he's got a little pepper in his Body's a little bit of a rascal, you know, he's a little sassy and he's good at it.

But what I like about Emily is that ultimately, so eventually they go on on one on one date and he reads her this list that he thinks, as he was the one that wrote for the seven page letter, that poor Tony has to listen to him. And he reads her a list of the twelve qualities he's looking for in a wife, and and it when did he write? I wrote him down, he wrote, So we also the other guys hate him. The guys say that he shaves his legs and plucks his finger fingernail hair. That was beautiful.

Chris said that remember that actually from five years ago, that that was a great line. Of course, he plucks his finger finger hairs. And then he also, rather than saying the world is our yster, he's a dumb dog. And he's like, the world is our pearl, you know. And she's like, it's our oyster. And he's like, well, I'm just that optimistic. I go right to pearls, you know. And then he calls her a trophy wife, and she calls him out, and he says, every man should believe

his wife is a trophy. Um, I got the turquoise shoes on tonight to impress you. How are you sorry? I'm sorry to interrupted his list of twelve things. I caught some of them well before he even pulls out the list. She's wearing a gold dress, and he says, how are you gonna say you don't want to be a trophy? And you come dressed like that, basically like you're asking for it looking like a trophy. Like, h, I know, twelve qualities I love to find in my life.

He doesn't wink a lot, which is a real red flag. Um, there's a little quick what i'd wink. Um, she's a servant. She puts her family before herself. The phrase servant, that's exactly what I had in my notes. He says, all of these things when he wants to find in a wife, you know, loyalty, faithful, you know, confident, all of all these, you know, relatively harmless qualities to then he has on his list someone who is a servant. Yeah, always always

loves to catch my eye. Oh if I were her, I would have gotten pump and flipped the table on him. His servant, where you freaking getting well? She and immediately sent him home after that, and he but he was such a manipulator. And this isn't when I really didn't. I mean I already didn't like him from once he said servant, well, you know what, and all the trophy wives. I was already like out then servants and I was

fully out. And then when she broke up with him and he basically wouldn't let her, then I wanted to kick him in the dick. And she and she said she sent him home, and she goes, I'm shocked. Um, um, I'm telling her she is wrong. Um, And watching a man try to make a woman doubt herself, and like there was a moment where I thought it was gonna work, and then she stuck to her guns and she sent him home, and I just I loved her. Yeah, no, I thought she was going and I forgotten. I thought

maybe she kept him around for the Rose ceremony. But you know, I loved said that she doesn't want to fit into someone's mold and he didn't have loving family on his list. And you know, I say for part of this whole scene was then when ari Arite later on says, if Ryan is the next Bachelor, the next Bachelor, he's really charming, hanging around. He like teases the guys, but not too much, you know, like he's really adorable.

M Um. Yeah, you know what. By the end, I was like you, and it made me like Emily even more that she saw now that she got rid of him. I have a question for you, and you texted me so now. Unfortunately I did not, by the way, when I started this, as I needed to say, with all of my seasons, I don't ever I don't ever look at reality, Steve. I wanted to go in pure and just watch it. Unfortunately, you can't like google her without

immediately finding out who wins. So if you want to know don't want to know who wins, don't google her. Um her face in five years. She looks like a completely different person five years ago. Can we just also discuss that she had brand new teeth on this show, Like her teeth are so huge and she's just like always sucking on the well, you know, she does look

a little bit different. But what what I will say is this is we have heard her say several times during this season that she wants to have a mini van full of babies, and that is the truth. So this is isn't gonna give it away. But Emily Maynard has been pregnant pretty much since. So she's been pregnant with the exception of delivering children since So she's been

the pregnant for three years. Oh my god. So that's why she looks That's why she looks so different, because she's either just given birth or is you know, newly pregnant or fully pregnant. Wow, yeah, she's pregnant. Was I think she's pregnant with her fourth child? Are you serious? Dude? There was one week of my life where my body, I think, was trying to get pregnant and i went from a seed to a d cup in one week

And I'm like, what the fuck like? And I don't know if I was, or I was, but I mean it was like literally seven days where I was like, whoa like my boobs just I had to go buy new bras. That was just one week. Much last three full years, I think we have. We probably have different experiences. As you remember when I underwent the IBS drugs, which texting you seem rock Yes, yes, dude, that's right, the sentimental that dude. It was like, I gotta say it.

I can't imagine being pregnant for three years straight, or giving birth or just giving that. Okay, there you go, Well I think I would. I don't know what I would look like pregnant for three years. That sounds horrible. Um. So then there's a two on one date. I guess it was in Bermuda, so we're all over the place. We're back in Bermuda. There's a two on one dy with Wolf versus Neate. Two guys who look exactly alike to kind of milk toast, middle of the pack guys.

Neither the of them will ever stand a chance to win. At first, they go cliff jumping. Um. Meanwhile, back at back at base camp, like the Roydy, Doug is fighting with that guy Chris over their age. Thing did we talk on air about Chris was that? Did we actually say it on the podcast? You know, I'm too self conscious to listen to the podcast. Okay, there was a list of what we were supposed to start with. Okay,

I don't know. Okay, so um, they go cliff jumping and then they go deep down into like what is it a sonoa? What do you a soota? That was like their underground caves where there's like water, and um, they there's like there's no conversation happening with the three of them, and neither of them are confident enough to be like, hey, can I talk to you for a second. So it's just three people sitting in silent in a cave. And this is how we know that it's because one

of the guys goes, is this quinoa? And then and they go what is It's a really good fiber. I'm like, oh my god, it's quinoa. It's keia quinola. And I'm like, oh that that's how far we've come in five years. In he goes, I know what this is. It's quinoa. Like that dinner scene was so awkward, and Nate started crying when he was talking about his brother. There's got to be more to the story. I didn't quite understand what was he staying about his brother. I knew he

was crying, Yeah it was. It was something about how he loved his family. And but that was the only notable component of it because it was such imporrant day. We had a bunch of guys crying after this sailing thing. Charlie the guy, the poor sweet guy who fell from a from the balcony onto his head, was wrapped his head in his shirt and was crying in the van

because he didn't get more alone time with her. And then later on in the episode, Wolf starts crying and like he can tell that he's on, like that he might be cut, and he like he's like trying to show her how sensitive he is. So he pulls his grandparents funeral cards out of his wallet, which feels somewhat manipulative when you know her hus like her fiance is dead. It's like pull and he's actually pulling out like death cards,

like pulling the death card to not get eliminated. I thought that was his grandfather, was his guardian angel, so manipulative. I was touched, of course, I was touched and she was as well. But when people have to pull a death card to not get eliminated that they don't want to bone you, but they can't eliminate you that week. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, she couldn't do it. She couldn't do it, So she sent home. She stands home, the one that was tearing up about his brother. She kept the dud that I

knew what quinoa was. And then there was a group date where Jeff were shorts was knee high socks. Oh yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, he had shorts and blue socks and uh it felt very competent in his his outfit. Uh. And of course he could pull it off because he's so cute. He's so cute. Um. And this is the episode where I guess I have to include this somewhere because it is a tragic. Uh. Oh, it's so sad. Yes if um at the episode four, Um, one of the contestants, UM, I think his name was

Michael Um. He's the guy with the long hair. I know he ended up Diana a drug overdose. You recall he was a rehab counselor. He was sweet, Yeah, and he was actually wasn't featured that much on this season. I know, but many of the contestants UM said very very nice things about about him, and unfortunately he passed away. I know, it's so sad. He's so she seemed so sweet, you know, It's it's weird getting to look up everybody.

And it was still at that time where Um, it's still at that time where she would sit down with Chris Harrison. They had photos like and peer one frames of each of the guys on the addresser and she would hold up all the photos and I didn't want to brushcast it. I read that, and that made me sad for that guy. He was lovely on it and I know all the guys that he was really nice, So I don't want to like the little that um.

But but it was interesting, like this even seem progression of the show, how she would go and have to hold up each guy's face in a frame and then discuss them one by one with like Chris Harrison, like who, and was very open about who she's thinking about eliminating. Yeah, I mean, they're there. The show has evolved in several ways over the past five years. I mean another thing that we didn't mention is um you see on the two on one day with Wolfner and Nate. The guy said,

qui quinola or whatever he said, is that? Um this was before they started putting rivals or manufactured life. Yes, yes, yeah, so this is not you know normally now when we watch The Bachelor, do you have two people that kind of hate each other or there's some sort of drama. It's like Alex and Alex and Chad or are um you know the twins versus Olivia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. And you know again you don't see people packing their

suitcases for every single date with her. You see it for the two on one, but not for every single date. But um, yes, uh you also see in London. This again shows you how far back they had to go get their Bachelor. Um, her little girl is like taking pictures with a real camera of the castles them stuff like there's no no, nobody has cell phones out and about they had their blackberries, but people are taking pictures with real camera phones, like real cameras everywhere. That's right.

Yeah I noticed that too, That's that's that's right. Um, so she goes it's so weird because it's like I had an iPhone in two thousand seven, like but I guess who. I don't know Instagram, I I don't know. It feels like it was filmed like a decade to Go, don't you agree? You? Yeah, you know. There. We have to also remember that none of the contestants are not allowed to have phones when they fill. You wouldn't think that that maybe Ricky would have I don't know what'd

she have? An iPhone? Um? So there is there is that it's nobody you. We will not see an iPhone for the most part, um when we watch The Bachelor, unless it's some parent calling their child and crying, which they do. Also a project run my my other game, Briane. Um, I needed to take a pea break. Will you hold for a second. Okay, I'll be right back. Bye. Hold guys, okay, okay, um yes. By the way, I see all your texts. Hi. You could just say them out loud. You can just

say them all out loud. Okay, let's start with them your first text, which is what it was your first test, but you just text me um, oh yeah, Chris and Doug fighting about Oh yeah, okay, let's start with that. So um so back at the ranch, Chris Doug, who's like the hothead. And by the ranch, I mean, like whatever Ramada they're in. Uh, Doug, who's the hulk? Um, there's this guy Chris and I can't remember a last

episode we said on air or not. I thought he was adorable and sweet and you said he's Yes, I think you did say it on air that he's the guy who's been more times than anybody ever on UM the Bachelor franchise. And he was adjected to the Bachelor. So they started, but he got like compulsively obsessed with Um. Like Doug didn't seem to be prodding him any further, and like he couldn't let go that he'd given him a hard time about being young, and like Chris became

obsessed with wanting to fight with him about it. Yeah, he's got a complete complex. And you know, he said, I'm a grown ass man, and he he really wants to pick a fight. And you know, I have to guess that he must have been pretty drunk. Yeah that's a good guess. Yeah, no, and he and and like and like Doug was so condescending about the whole thing, Like, so I wanted to punch Dog and I wasn't even

in a fight with Dog. And I felt like Doug was It's that same thing of like I scolded all of them, he has that polier than now vibe and they all know he's Felli ship because at the end of the day, he is the guy that shout the gun into the ground, right right. Well, it was weirdn't seen seen this interaction because you don't get a sense of any other conflict between these guys, because Chris said that Doug was over the top humble, and then they started to argue about the age, and you know, the

whole thing was just so stupid. Um. They're just both so insecure and um and and Doug wasn't wasn't haven't. But you know what, you know, you put these two guys in a room, You're gonna have an insecurity explosion. It's not a good look. Um. So then another thing that we want to talk about in London, there was a one on one day with Sean Low because I asked you if he was the Virgin the boarding in Virgin and Emily that you thought it was a really good day. It was. They sort of took in the

sights of London and it was interesting. It was like two dumb dumbs listening to her be like, this is rest Mr Abbey, this is where like just just hearing the British History Tour. I mean, she's so sweet but like having her explained. So she takes him to a date at the Tower of London and they get locked. She's like, you're my prisoner of love. This is where Henry the Eighth locked up two of his wives and

he had them beheaded. It's like, oh my god, and like, actually, I've been to the Tarn, which is actually really neat and it does mean there's so much history there and just knowing that now the history that there is also filled with Emily Maynard and Sean Well having dinner there, aside from like all of the it's just insane. Yeah. You know. I will give Sean bonus points because he has talked about Ricky a lot, and I like that he said he didn't have a shadow of a doubt

that he could be a dad to Ricky. Um. He clearly has the same faith that Emily has. He's adorable. I don't like about Sean is that he is really into this idea that he wants somebody who will let him lead, which again he says that a few times, You're I didn't like it either. He is very much I think in many ways he's very much believer of that. The man heads up the house and he wants, he wants to lead, and he wants her to follow, which you know, maybe maybe she wants at this point as well.

But um, that's the one area where I'm like, come on, Sean, you're a pretty good guy. You're a great match with her. But I'm not. I got into it. I know, I know it either. I'm like I grew up in a house with such a strong mom that was like if somebody said to me, I want to I mean no to me, I'm just I am way too independent for like I would. I would just be like a ratne cade, just like no way, no way. I got that. That would freak me out. But you know, he's he's um,

he's clearly a good guy. And he says it's uh, he says so much. She says there are good guys. I'm I'm one of them. And she says, uh, I feel less butterflies in my stomach. And this may sound cheesy, but I feel oil them more in my heart. So and I get that sense that she likes him a lot, But I don't feel that chemistry. She doesn't want to get she doesn't want to get into the down with him. No, you know, when and when she kisses him, I don't

know if you noticed this. The first few times she's kissed him, she's rubbed his back so vigorously, like he lost circulation in his laps. I don't know, muscles. I'm not feeling the passion from them. Interesting, you know, I know that they seem like they are the perfect match because they have that Southern thing going on, they have

the religious thing going on. You know, it's true. They're they're a match made in heaven, like the prototypical Barbie and Ken for white America, for kind of well, they are so vanilla. I feel like Steve Harvey and I'm about's white as they come. They are so unbelievably well matched that it's surprising to me that she seems to have such a draw towards Ari and Jeff. But but at the end of the day, that and that's why Ryan made it as Bard you need a little sex appeal.

There's no sex appeal. Yeah, No, it's true. I mean, and he has he is checking all the boxes. But there's just not that now now I know. And again just because I know, when do we hear that he's a born again virgin because he hasn't said it yet. I don't know actually if he ever says it. So why is some Well, I don't want to go for it. I don't want to give it away, give it away, you know, I don't think he actually says it, uh

ever in his bachelor time. But um, I see, I believe when he uh, when he makes it a little bit further on in the season, it's addressed that he may not want to semin Oh interesting, okay, Oh my god, I know. I was actually wondering how that would work with like, this is such a chaste season and there's been a kid around. I'm like, what happens at Fantasy Street? Like what this is a different kind of season. This is a more formal, old fashioned season, you know. Sure,

um okay. So then we have the main villain, Kalin. So the big controversy and this sort of rattled all that. There was ramifications for everybody. Kalin of the shiny face and the plastic surgery. He's the one that all the guys hate. He flew in the helicopter, and he makes he really and he, by the way, is the son

of a single mom um. He makes the comment that Ricky is her daughter is baggage and that you're always going to be on a two on one date with her because it's gonna be she and Ricky is always going to be part of it. I hear you typing,

I'm typing. This is actually me biting my nails. Okay, So that biggie that Ricky is um and so there's I'll take I'll t there's gonna be a So she's a sick mother who has a child waiting for her, and she is so Eventually the Hulk tells her that and I loved her line, I want to go West Virginia hood rat backwoods on his ass. I know that was a terrific, terrific line. And you know what, this

this particular scene was really sad to me. And this is the one, the one scene where I appreciate a dog turning into a hulk and telling the Emily because she looked so her tells her and it's really painful to walk, I really know. And what's sad is that, you know, immediately she went to you know, what's the most ladylike or a graceful way to handle it? And you know, makes me said that she can't just have

her feelings. But then I love the fact that she said that west Ridging a hood red thing and said she wants to rip his limbs off and being him with it. And then she and then she had the great line in the moment I never have a good line in the moment. She had a green line in the moment where she threw back in his face the line, I'd love to hear you talk, but not until that done, until I'm done. I got that line from you so good.

It was so good because she confronted him about whether he said it, and he admitted he did, and she said that Ricky was the furthest thing from baggage. And then you know my favorite part which many people recalled actually during this season, and when Rachel confronted tomorrowo and she said, do you have anything to say for yourself? And he said no, and she said, they get the funk out. Yes. I really appreciated that. And as you remember Rachel's season, she was very firm with Tomorrow and

kicking him out. And you know, I also it felt it was so heartfelt. She talked about how we had a single mom and how dare he and how it's so disappointing and so inappropriate and assaulting, and I was just, you know, I wanted to stand up and get her a standing ovation. I loved her. I loved the way she handled it. I loved the way I loved the way she handled Ryan. I felt like, and she did it with no voice. I mean she was she had

no voice. She had such bell angite is and but she pulled from it the strength and then she basically was like, I'm not giving a group rose date out. Why didn't any of you guys have my back and tell me? And like I appreciated that, Yeah, you know, I appreciated that. It was almost like she forgot about the production. And so when Doug went to cook for her, she gave the stiff arm and yeah, no, she needs to be by herself. You know, I will say it.

I don't know when the guys would have told her, because if you think about it, you know, they could have told her before the Shakespeare date, and then that day would have been ruined. And the day, you know, I think there was the date with Sean. So I'm not sure. I think there might have an eight hour gaps. So I'm not sure exactly. And it's not so like obviously they could have told her, but I I certainly

I really appreciated wish she hap me. And but it is it's like a fine line because you look at this show and you see the guys that are the tattle tales, like you don't want to be like, what was it? Iggy? Iggy was such a tattle It's like, but this is like actually about her kid, you know, so I could like she had a point. Yeah, yeah, I really really respected the way she dealt with that. But it is equivalent of this year with like the

racist in the house. You know. It's like it's the same kind of huge thing that like, you know, it's it's hard, you know that was I saw. We're glad that freaking Callen gets to go back to the West Egg and be his asshole self. Yeah. Um, but now we get to see Jeff right because I have not had a one on one date. Okay, So Jeff gets a one on one date and he right at the top, he just calls out, He's like, I heard you were upset I want you to know I was the one talking to him. I stood up to him like he

owned it right away. He was lucky because he's been given warning, you know. Um they go to this etiquette school with his lady named Jean, who is a afternoon tea with Jean, and she's basically like the biggest cock block in all of England. It's just so horrible. It was like going on a date with your parent. Yeah, it was really rough with like it was really the least sexy third party you could have on a date. And Jean was talking a lot, so like they couldn't

even chat. So then they snug out and they went on the London Eye, which is the giant um Ferris wheeler where you get to eat dinner in your own pod and look over London. And he hasn't kissed her yet. He missed his opportunity on the beach in Bermuda when he had his arm around her and there was fireworks. Um, he's like he's intimidated by her and he missed his chance overlooking London and the Eye and then he gets out and he seizes the opportunity and overlooking the river

in London, there's a great kiss. Yeah. And you know, Keef is so full of good lines. And I don't mean that disparagingly. I mean that he seems so genuine when he says his lines. So for instance, um, callin when he referred to Ricky has baggage, he said, Ricky is only baggage if she is a Chloe handbag, which I have no idea what that is. Well, whatever, you know, vat Yeah he did. It was good. He was pretty good. Yeah, it was a really good He's endurable. So he's a

former Mormon. That's interesting. I was wondering. He lives in Salt Lake and he's so handsome. Um, that's interesting. Yeah, and you know he I really so. Part of the reason why I really liked this season is because when Jeff talks Jeff and all Right for that matter, I am totally engaged. And I think it's because they are so thoughtful and introspective and really good at expressing their feelings eloquently, And that's why this season is so good.

They were cool, non do she guys what reality Steve said? Who are able to go beyond the typical love cliches. They are real guys. Yeah, I know, they were adorable. And again they were kind of hipster, which is weird. They were skinny, and you know, they weren't all roydy, but they were cute as can be. Jeff had like a charity that he started like for water, like he I'm not exactly it's like Tom's but of water. I'm not sure. Um um, yeah, it was really it was

a good day. She likes him and he likes her and and it's a weird pairing because he is sort of like this little hipster and she's sort of the southern beauty queen. And it's an interesting combo. It's such an interesting combo. And he is so much smaller than all the other buff guys, including r is not buffs, but he's not much small a little. He's like a little nerdy guy who's adorable skateboarder and so you know.

And I appreciated that he promised to never lie to her and he said he feels like he can trust her. But I also I really appreciated when he said that he wants he wants the roast, but more than that, he wanted Emily. Again, such a great now I've gone in deep online. He does live with he does live with the Falcon in Venice now and he dated Christina I Lipstick this summer. So again, I think the tsunami of poon that rains down on them after the franchise,

I mean five years out. That's like McConaughey's character and dazed and confused. He's like the senior that won't leave. Like if in two if you were on in two thousand and twelve and you are like search out the Falcon to be roommates with and you're dating present day cat off, it's time to move on man. Yeah. Apparently, Well Reality Steve says that he desperately wanted to be on you know, this variety of spinoffs. Um, but that

was not in the cards. But still I will say he is still one of my favorites because all I have to go on is what I see on screen and that you know, you can read Reality Steve, and you can read these gossip rags and you can, of course, um here that there's a different story. But what I've seen, he's entirely adorable. The fact that he said he would be having a dance party with Ricky singing into Brusha's well,

that's cute. I'll take it. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, And yet why don't they have him on? He's adorable? Why don't they have him on any of the franchises? Do you know what he means? Says that he is not well liked from production. I have a friend who worked in production who didn't like him. But why he seems so don't worry, That's what I don't know. I'm gonna text him right now. Should be? Should be? Should be? Should He seems so sweet? And you know that he's a good and do you He talks that

he's a good narrator. He talks about how he wants to teach. Should I try to add him into the phone call right now? I don't care. Hold on one second. I'm gonna see if I can add him in. Let's see if I can do this. My new phone is kind of sassy. Okay, let's see. You are so impressive. Look at you. You have these bachelor people at you know, at your fingertips. Okay, wait a minute, let's say let's call him. We're gonna call him, Hello, Hello, I'm trying

to merge you. Um, I'm trying to merge you ship. But my phone is sassy. It's not allowing me to merge the call. Okay, so I'm doing the podcast right now. You're on the podcast. Why did you Why did you hate Jack? I don't. I'm not saying your last name. You're not. Your last name is not on this. I wish you're going to change the audio of my boy. Okay, we I don't know what. I have a new stupid phone that's not letting me hold on. Let me just text Laurie that I'm gonna call her back. Um, hold

on the second. I have this dumb new phone that is not okay, okay, gonna uh call you back? Okay, um okay, okay, So you what was wrong with? What was wrong with? Jeff always felt to like hipster cool dude? He didn't ever feel like um you never feel like he had the emotional gravity to be like Hunt mend or anything. And Emily had a kid? Now is it used to Are you saying this as a viewer or as a person who works there both? Because I would a viewer long before I worked on the show. But

in dealing with him, was he nice? I don't have to deal with any of them directly, okay, mainly on the after show, did people did people like him, did the people in production like Jeff. It wasn't like like it didn't like or not like him. I never heard anything bad about him, It just was he never felt right for Emily. And I think the show overall been a bit from when it's like a good solid relationship where America can look at it and like they make

sense together. We want to start to have something like that, and then he never felt that way and did production like Ari. Yeah, I think r was always on the radar to be either the winner or the next bachelor. Um. And I always felt this is just me speculating, but I always felt like Emily position Sean in a place where he could be the mastlor because I think she

respected him, but she wasn't like into him. No, we were just saying that they had no chemistry, that there was no chemistry, right, But I think he was like he's a great guy, he deserved this, and so it never felt like they got along. But he's struggle along for a long time, that's strutting along. But kept him around and kept him. He never had like a big controversy or anything that you were ready to be the next pastor a die. Think he's one of the best passords.

My wife about this whole thing after you're texting last Yeah, and she apparently loved Ari the whole run. Okay, he said he was her favorite, like he got you would, attractive and charming and interesting the whole way. Can you get some dirt, um, and maybe we'll call you next week. Um, can you get some dirt on if production, if Ari's actually still a good guy, because because it seems like he might have had a tsunami of poon since the show ended, and he might be a dirt ball. I

can try. Nobody, you weren't done this a long time. Nobody I announced that working then with me. I respect you. I I accept your rose. I accept your rose. Well, thank you so much for your intel and uh and I will I will smell you later, gator wonderful. All right, you'll you'll hear yourself this week. Okay, goodbye, Okay, bye. Okay, guys, I have this one of these new iPhone. I have the iPhone seven and it is so irritating. Um, I I have very bad luck of technology. My I'm pretty

convinced I have a plate in my head. Um, and my friend Chris can attest to that. My new phone is a demon. Laurie. Oh, I'm sorry to hear. It's quite right, I have I talked to him. So basically it was more his um uh. He didn't have any actual interactions with Jeff. It was more his his personal feeling. Okay, yeah, so there we go. We got to the bottom of that.

We got to the bottom of that. Um um. So Emily, then after the Jeff with the David, Jeff goes well and so then Emily it's Ari gets basically our our bachelor is like in the hot seat because um, she held him to a higher standard than the other guys, and she was really upset that he didn't say something to her about the villain uh Klin And she says, are lost his chance. We didn't speak up to Kalin

and um, and she's really upset. And then at the end of the episode, after she kicks out Ryan, Ari pulls a move which I didn't even know you were legally allowed to do. He goes over to her hotel and they hang out on her bed and make out and then she gives she He apologizes and she gives him a rose and advance. Well, you know, they were just pretending with that I know, but yeah, no, she was very very clear that she wanted to keep him around because he was nervous that the last episode when

she you know, gave a piece of her mind. Um. But then he was so pleased when she let go of Ryan. Who is that Jusi mcgusherson that he snuck in and made out with her in her hotel room. And but what you didn't mention, and I'm not sure if you're going to get to it, is when they

went on a walk. Oh so good. They go on a walk at the Rose ceremony and he basically they're like and basically they're like, I just I don't want to I don't I just want to hang Outlet's just make this walk lass for everyone's like really slow, go really slow. And then he like they look in the shop window and then he basically kisses her up against the wall like Jordan Rodgers did a lot of wall kissing with Jojo, but this was the hottest wall kiss

in the history of The Bachelor. Absolutely, so he was he was worried an he went on a rock with Emily and that's the closest there has ever been to love making on The Bachelor. That kiss right there. Everyone knew it too. When that happened in two thousand and twelve, it lit America on fire. Tell me how you both went bunkers for ari over that kiss against the wall. It was really good. It was good. It was a game. A guy has game he does. He does like a face It's like a he does, like a face rub

and like a hair smooth. It's lost a little. It's like it makes me embarrassed to be watching. Yeah, I was actually watching that on the plane and I was kilting my computer screen the way so the people next to me couldn't see it because I was washing. No, it's like it makes you nervous watching it. It's so intimate. Yeah, and he I think I said during the last podcast, Courtney Robertson, who won Plantic season, say that he was the best lover she's ever been. Of course he was.

Of course, you know he is. He's a sensual creature. This guy is born to make out. He is born to bone. He is he is, he is born to bone. I'm happy for him. I'm really happy with the Bachelor. I mean, you don't want Laurie. I am. I'm really happy we decided this is no small time commitment. I mean, this takes up hours. Every this is and I'm working like sixteen hour days, and I'm like, I gotta, I gotta, i gotta see what's going on for Sill. It's a joy.

It's a joy. Secondly, I'm glad that I was not feeling him and I was like, oh my god, he's a really good There's not that many great contestants like him. He's a really good contestant. I hope he hasn't been ruined by all of the humping he's done since two dozen to well, you know what, I think he was humping before then too. There's no way he wasn't a good season. They were a good crop of guys. I think that I think this Tsunami a bachelor hump beyond just being a hot race car driver. I think this

specific bachelor hump can creep out. I think can make a guy creeping. Yeah, we'll see, we'll know. We got our eye on him. Wow. So I like how he's self effacing though he is, he's really well, we'll see. The two twelve version of himself is charman Um. One of the guys that was eliminated over the course of these three episodes. Was was Alijndro The Mushroom Farm, and he was I went, I'm like, he was so hot. And then I'm like and I'm like, oh, she wants money.

She's not going to pick a mushroom farmer. And then I looked him up. He's like a gazillionaire. He started. He went the poor guy. He had cancer, he survived a kidnapping attack. He got kidnapped as a kid in Colombia. Um and he went to he moved his mom was an engineer who moved him to like Michigan, and he was the only kid. He didn't speak English when he was like thirteen or something. And then he ended up going to Berkeley and then he dropped out and he

started this. They make him sound like some kind of like hippie, you know, stone or mushroom farmer. He's like, he's like, I'm Forbes magazine. He started this mega company. It's like, it's no joke. This hot dude. If Alejandro was still available, he was sweet, he was hot. He's an entrepreneur. He's had this terrible story, but it probably gives him humanity. He was quite a catch, and it never was mentioned exactly again just like the guy who wrote the horse in Rachel's season, who was like the

fulbright Schollar. He's probably one of the most interesting guys on The Bachelor, ed who receives zero own screen time. He supplies healthy foods to elementary schools. He's got a tarthic story and we saw nothing. They belittle him to mushroom farmer. It's like it's like Berkeley Grand former cancer survivor, like cancer survivor, former hostage, like entrepreneur who like made his way, you know, as a as a kid, like first generation kid in the US, like and is now

like a complete success story. Like how about that? How about that's let's have him be the Bachelor. I liked Alejandra. He's so cute too time. Um. There was also a date in the Highlands. There was also a date in Croatia where they treated it like they were in Scotland. It made no sense. They had to put on kilts and do the Highland games after watching the movie Brave. Oh my god, how about that plug? Oh my god?

They had to watch Brave and then she was a really good shot with a bow and arrow and um, but these guys, they had a guy with like a Scottish accent. And it's like they had to ride donkeys and the guy the outtakes of the guys writing donkeys was really cute and funny. And my favorite part of them writing the mini dogs. Oh my god. And the guys looked kind of hot in the kilts. Yeah they do,

I know. I mean I was like they all like they looked really cute and the kilts and they had to go throw like giant logs and I mean and then like there was like a I mean, it was like a very he mane thing. And then she picked the guy Chris, who lost but gave it his all. Yes, so, and he was he was very excited about receiving the pity rose. He wasn't pitty Rose. It was the thing. It was the everybody gets a trophy rose exactly exactly.

So Chris had a horrible archery form. Oh my god, his archery for I mean, I would imagine I would have horrible or I would have been it would be like what my mom or like Jannumarine or are or we would I just I just talked to the third person, like dog. It was my It was my spiders that made me do it. Uh, but but like, yeah, his knees, he was like knocked mean and sway backed, and he put his booty out and like it was the world's

worst archery form. And then it went and he's like a really big guy and it went like two inches the arraw. I know, poor guy, he's so insecure. He didn't need one more thing to make make himself feeling more than insecure. Now that I know his story, I look at him and I'm like, this poor, sweet hot guy who looks as my friend Brett who we just called. He said he always said he looked like a Disney villain. He does look like a Disney villain. Oh I guess

how Yeah, I always Funny looked like that muppet. Uh you know, but yeah, I can see that the eagle, Yeah, the eagle. He does kind of look like the eagle. Um, I just look at it. It's weird, you know, because it's so long ago, and you know what happens to all these guys. I think I kind of do remember him going on bachelory in Paradise and like getting addicted.

I mean I do remember. It's sad. It's sad that like people like because they go in all innocent and then they come out and it errors and everybody sees it. It's just like, yeah, well, this is been such an exciting marathon. Laurie, I guess I guess next week we'll take us I mean probably through to the end. I think I don't know, really, I don't know what we might have to do two episodes. There's so much to cover, all right, So we'll do two episodes and guess what

I'll be calling, probably with Janet Marina Mittens from New York. Oh, she's gonna start watching. Um, yeah, she's bring Mittens and Janet. Janet might be on with me. She has a lot of opinions. So funny listening because she listens to the podcast and she gets slightly confused about she thought that I thought that Daniel from Canada was super hot, And

I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, we love Alex the Russian but um, anyway, uh okay, speaking of Alex the Russian, I have a verbal yes from Alex the Russian if he's available. Because it's so far out, but I have a verbal yes from Alex the Russian for San Francisco. More to be revealed, but um, it would be the last weekend of January. UM in San Francisco,

and we're gonna try for Peter. I'm gonna wait a little bit to try to pin him down because it's so far out, but um, I'm gonna fucking capture Peter in a bag. Oh my god, Oh my god. UM. So we think we had so many great emails this week, Laurie, you've been a hit. I'm just gonna read a couple of emails. So we are at Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. Oh, this is from the lovely gal who sent us pictures. There's a picture of her on Alex's back. She went to one of the UH events in Nashville.

I think she went to Danielle's charity. So this is from Emily Telaposki Hiharden. I'm watching Emily season based off the episode that you posted this week, and I have to say I am loving it. I have to say I am digging Ari. I am three episodes in as well, and I really want Emily to pick him. Side note. My roommate clean Home while I was at Genium, was like, are you seriously watching a five year old episode of the Bachelor that I felt like he had walked into

me and my opium dead. Um, I hope you come to New York. I've gotten a few of my bachelor friends into your podcast. Um so thank you for emailing Emily. Um okay, then we have waiting with bated breath. This is from Hallie. I apologize. I apologize if I'm not saying this correct and I realized that those photos may not have been that from the photos that I December from that girl or not from that girl. That's my apology.

UM So this is from Hallie Burbige, dearest art And this Weeking came back from vacation and was dreading having to return to work. But then I discovered that I had a new episode of williamxcept This Rose podcast to listen to my commute to work, and my day was lifted. I started my work day with a big old smile. Um. Let's see, I don't need my favorite bachelor guys to be there to ensure that I've been there ready for

the most fun ever. But since you asked here my over the top dirty dream stars Peter, because I want you to convince him to spill why he didn't want to be the Bachelor, and he's just so beautiful Dean because Dean Yum. Eric because he won me over on Rachel season after not being into him until the last two episodes. Wealth because he's my favorite ever. Alex because of the summer suit he wore on your show. There's

so many, there's so many so he ps. Today when you said a tsunami of poon, I snorted so loudly on the bus my seatmate was giving me side eye the rest of the run. Um okay, and here's one more email from Rachel Wheeler. Art and I came across your incredible podcast in August and I'm obsessed. My sixty three year old mom was visiting from Nashville. She doesn't even watch any of the Bachelor shows. I got her hooked. I've sent her on a mission to find all Bachelor

peeps in Washington in the National area. And because it became part of me and become their therapy raccoon, she's even started calling me Bunny and kitty cat. Ridiculous. Um, So thank you for email, Rachel Wheeler. You're truly dealing. The Lord's will keep it up well, we just love doing it. So um you guys, set your calendar as

we will be in San Francisco the last weekend of January. Um, so, Aaron will be there with me, Laurie will be there, so hopefully and we will have some bachelor peeps and hopefully Heightener bad Paget and Rob and um as you know, we love animals and that, uh will you except this Rose and Katie and Anna and Lorie. I'll live in Northern California and all those terrible fires. So there's some

websites that we're gonna put on our Facebook page. But there's all these displaced animals and they're providing food and vet care to people whose pets were injured and their homes were destroyed. But there's this so Sonoma Humane Society, the NAPA Humane Society, the um Marin County Humane Society. There's a place helping courses and farm animals called the Jamison Animal Rescue Ranch, and places helping wild animals um called the Discover wild Care dot org. And they'll all

be on our website. So, oh, that's so nice that you're doing that. Well, we're obsessed with the animals and all those poor animals like they help people. All those poor people lost their homes. You see that there was a reunion between Bernie's mountain dog and family that lost their entire home and they were hiking up to the rubble and they were calling the dog's name, just hoping that the dog hadn't died, and they were reunited and came out of the rubble. It's so sweet sentence to me,

or you will put it on the page, um LORI wow? Yeah, eight nine, just the next one? Seven, eight nine, that's those are plenty a few episodes to get through. I will say, should we do seven and eight? Should we? Should we just do too? Too? How many are left? So we have seven through twelve? We could do seven and eight and then do another one with nine and ten. And I mean, you know we're not going to be able to resist ourselves. But if we could only watch two,

I might have to watch three though. You know what, We'll stay seven and eight, but it might be seven, eight and nine, okay whatever you Oh my god, I guess let's see what Jitna Marine has a first leave. I just love it's so fun. I mean, how fun is this? It's great? I mean, this is a great season. Laurie. You really is there any gossip that you need us to know? Is there anything that is there anything that

we need to know Ken Burns? Oh gosh, let's see. Um, you know, I can't really think of anything at the moment. I'm sure they'll be they'll be something coming out. I think Tomario and Karen went on some red carpet date together, which was interesting. And what else do I have? Is Rachel still with Brian? Yes? And and Wells has a girlfriend in Los Angeles. It's not that's not a friend. That he's not calling his girlfriend in Los Angeles. He's not calling her his girlfriend, but they are. Who is it?

I don't know who? He has not mentioned it. Such close friends, we need to find out who it is. And um, you know what we need to do when I get back to l A. You should come down to l A and we should do a road trip podcast where we go to see Dean. Oh my god, that would be a dream. I can't even well, Um, Lorie, Well, you know what we should do, is you Dean and I should go on a road trip to call her disapparning It's a great idea. That's such a good idea,

that's just right. I feel like he would really enjoy that. Why wouldn't you enjoy it? I mean, I know you and I would really enjoy it, but I feel like we could really win him over by the end if I mean a problems, we could win him over. He That's the thing. We don't judge Dean like the rest of American judges Dean. We just accept our Damie Baby exactly. Oh my god. Um all right, well I'm gonna try to play the theme song and will you help sing me out? Oh? Yeah, there you go. It's up in here.

It feels so good, like, yes, I know, I upped the my zip spiders except yours. Will you get my zip spiders? I don't know if wrong? You are curious. There's a video on YouTube of that song that we that Amma edited together. That's amazing. Okay, thank you for listening, you guys. Bye, now leaving nurice dot com.