"HUNG LIKE A DUCK, INTERNALLY (please kill Katie!)" With Rob Benedict

My name is Arta Marine. I'm coming to you from my Airbnb in Atlanta. Um so excited to talk about this week's episode. I also wanted to let you guys know in advance. You know my loyalty to this podcast. Nothing can stop me from doing this. I mean literally, inappropriate things can happen, and I will still force people to do the podcast. It's like as evidence. I've had to make that split decision twice, and I've aired on the side of the podcast, which may or may not

be the classy thing to do. But um so, next week's episode is going to go up Thursday night, and I'm just telling you an advance so you don't go, oh, where's the podcast. I'm Phil. It's our last day of shooting the finale Tuesday night, so I'll be shooting all day Tuesday, and then I fly home Wednesday, so Thursday we're gonna record it and put it up. So just so you know an advance. I haven't built on you, my bunnies. You're my best friends, You're my only friend.

So that's what's happening. So let's get right to him, our next guest I love so much. He's been in Europe, so we haven't had him on this season. Um, I really feel very connected to this person. Let's give him a proper intro. Now, Bobbies on a vacation. So man, I want you know, the bachel of the Year is a little bit. I don't want to use your love next. Oh my god, that's a little you know, I like like I like my bachelors. Oh my god, I don't even remember what it sounds like. So I have to

hear he's getting who's doing the cat noises? Um, that's my Oh my god, that's right. That was my friend Harry. That's my friend Avery. Oh my god, I know how we thought of that, like it just happened all of a sudden. There's me. I love I've got it like a new season, a new song. We don't work around on this podcast. You don't have any hobbies except for this, like I have that. I'm a creative person who needs an outlet, and it all goes into this podcast. You've

seen my house. I have fourteen lamps coming from my dining room sales to match your fourteen They met your fourteen caps, fourteen caps, my fourteen lamps. Like I need, clearly, I need something to channel this madness. Um, I missed you. I've missed you two. I can't believe this is my first podcast of the season. I spent all all last week catching up I had. I hadn't seen it it, but oh my god, I'm loving it. I think she's I love it. She's cuckoo. She's cuckoo for cocoa pup,

so I love that about her. She's she's so but she's got Like last night I felt like she was very very wise last night, and um, yeah, but she just is going to make out with anybody. I love it. I love it. She's like she's like I feel like she's been given permission as like this good southern um pageant girl. Like I feel like she's the first bachelor we've seen eat. You know, she actually ate the haggets,

like she has like like she's like a drink. She eats and drinks and makes out like she has she takes a sick day because she's like I feel like she has appetites and like I and I think it was like all suppressed before so she would short circuit and then Hannah Beast would come out. But now she doesn't need to be Hannah Beasts because she can just

like be free. Yeah, she's so much better than I thought she was going to be, just like exponentially, but she's a fun bachelor at high I like her so much, Like I genuinely like her, Like I'm just like, you're actually fun, Like she was so fun on this episode and she's just like she's just like funck y'all. I'm thinking any of your ship in the most part are sweet. Are sweet Rookie of the Year Debbie, and you know that's who I've been hanging with in Atlanta, and she

is just text. She's loving her as a bachelorette, loving her Oh that's cool. Yeah, she's Yeah, she's cool. I can't wait till you meet her and you bring her on our show. That's how I feel. So Apparently, I don't know if this is true or not. So the guy that um instattionable like that the lead man is based on, there's a real guy named Bill Alverson who was a real life lawyer slash pageant coach, and apparently he used to I think he used to coach her.

Maybe it was either her or the Hanna. He coached one of the Hannahs, but I think I think the word on the street is like he really likes like. I don't know if he's done pageants with her. I don't know if he coached her, but like he's been around her and he may have coached her, but he really liked her great. She seems really nice. Yeah, Like I like, you think back to what happened with her and Kayla. Yeah, like everyone like I thought she was

the crazy one. It's like, no, she was like the nice one and she's and the way she was talking about last night, she understood what that was. Yeah, I will say I was texting last night. I don't want to brag, but with my friend Lance Bass and he's not liking her. He doesn't like her. Yeah, we'll have to have him on. Maybe we'll have him on next week. But I'm so curious. He thinks that ABC's made her nice, but he doesn't buy it. Well, you know what I

was just saying to Rob before we start recording. You know that that producer Ellen left the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard that. It's like a lot different and they kind of just let them be a lot more free and it's like not as strict or something. So like, I'm wondering if that has something to do with you. Katie and I were talking about. I thought it was really interesting that the little behind the scenes and she's like, well, someone go tell him. Like I was like, I'm like

those hikers, what's happening? And I'm like I was hers like who are there? What? He literally look like hikers? And then I was like, oh my god, we're watching unreal right now. That's like SCHERI app this is exciting. But I thought it was interesting that they were like sometimes it takes time, and they were so forcing yeah, oh I know, and they were like trying to make her keep it like it takes time, like because they didn't want her to come. Okay, let's start at the beginning.

We're in Newport. We're at the Lucas Luke p like there, the fight is happening. Dustin is very frustrated and Chris Harrison comes in again. He gives it. They're clearly like their ABC's narrative is, she's a tough cookie who means business. She's like a TNT. She like a Holly Hunter, you know, like she don't get pushed around. Um. And so then she pulls the two Luke's aside. She's like, let's talk. And then she like a like a school teacher. She

was like, Lucas, what do you have to say? And she's like not to me, to him, and it was just and then she got he faith though when they were fighting, she just looked like she wanted to blow her fucking brands. She was just like please, somebody tweeted to us. Somebody tweeted to us, like you knew during the fight that that She was like, why didn't I just like Calin become the bachelorette, Like this is ye? Why did I say yes? It felt like but she's

also the one who's just not listen. Everyone is like she actually I think has I mean, it's not my type of a guy, but I think they're all really nice guys, and they're all like loup sucks, like they all have each other's back, and they're like they're not they I feel like they have morals, the guys that are there, and she's not. She's not listening. Turn Lucas kind of turned into kind of a weenie. I thought during the course of it he kind of unraveled of

it too much. I actually thought he handled himself pretty well like he did, kind of like he should have just been like, dude, I'm not even gonna bother with you, there's no reasoning with you. But I thought he kind of like was um. I thought he didn't lose his temper. He spoke pretty eloquently about how he was feeling, like I thought he did. Okay, he was just clearly really mad. And yeah, I mean, because it's infuriating when you're basically talking to a sociopath who has no who doesn't who

has shark guys and somebody else treated at us. He doesn't blink. I've never seen how have you know? And he just has this look on his face, like he's almost like trying to process what's being said. It's weird. He always looks like he's in a black outrage. Yeah, and he and he, I mean, I don't look, I don't know anything. I don't know. I don't know if it's like maybe a mentally unstable person who's maybe like Rody. I don't it feels like Rody right like it probably is.

It's got to be. I mean, that body, that's how Chad was. Chad was really this that extra alpha, that extra level of danger that's more than just being a hothead. Yep. Yeah, it's just and its just he doesn't know. He really just doesn't know how to talk, talk at all, Like

you know, he repeats what she says. I honestly think like again, I actually was like, oh my god, that's actually like, oh, he's a pathological liar like Off the Night and the guys who are actually pretty lovel like, he does keep contract, he contradicts himself, and there's no accountability. She kept saying, like you can't, you don't man up or own up to anything. No, he just kept from ruining me a Trump the whole time. She's like Jesus correct well and just the so narcissistic to like after

the other. Luke leaves and he stays, and then he's like, can I make a toast? It's like okay, so they're going He's going lie after lie. They're sitting there awkwardly in the sitting room, which she goes off to fume, and then he was like, look, I didn't have any business saying anything. He's like, but you did, you did say something, and then and then he says, then how about when you need me in the head, and then he changed his story. He was like, I was trying

to step over you. And then Luke as goes, you're so full of ship is coming out of right out of your ears, and then her savior, Chris Harrison walks in. It's like nights over everybody. We're going Chris. Chris got real strict. He is, I mean, I feel like he has less and less to do when she's happy about so he really sticks his landing. He really does, he really does. And then so he comes in he's all strict.

And then when Luke so aside, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it was immediate if like did he actually ever say like and I'm leaving. No. I wonder if that was just an edit though, because we're like, wait, what's going on? He never said it. He never it must have and they must have edited out because they never said that. I was so confused. He was like, you need to um, you need to keep your eyes open, you need to be wary. And then because it was you know, it's in one of those old Newport mansions,

I'm so sorry. Can you guys hear that? Like lawn mower outside? Does that all? Okay? Great? Okay great? So um it's like a weed whacker, It's like right out it down here? Anything, okay? Great? I assumed I assumed it was you you know what that I got my side hustle and uh, I'm outside and I'm doing this. I'm grooming. I'm grooming. I need a tidy Airbnb workers. Um. So, so then it comes in and he takes a rose away, which meant she was going to give him a rose.

She's going to she was gonna give him a rose. What did you think of him leaving? I actually felt like it was. I actually felt like he saved face. I think he saved face. I supported it that like, because he was just gonna have to keep He wasn't gonna win. He was going to stoop to his like like, rather than lose more dignity if he really is a

political consultant or whatever. Like, I think he left with his dignity, and I think it's smart that he left because he was just going to have to keep fighting with this douche. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking that she was. As she had them face off, I was like, you're not going to pick either of these guys. They should both just go right now and save us the time. But you know, I just thought the edit it was weird. I would was felt anti climactor. She came back in

and she said, yeah, so loose gone. I don't want anyone here, doesn't want to be here. But it was like he was so just like I wish it was a bit more explosive when he was like, so I'm gonna leave. Yeah, there was drama there that was It was weird. And then then there was the Rose ceremony and there was like five guys in a row that you're like, wait, who Dylan, Dustin, Dylan, Dustin, Devin, Kevin

and Grant. You're like wait what, Yeah, that was Dylan's and Devin, Kevin and Grant like, yeah, you didn't give us our baby boy, John Paul Jones. When more reading he'll be in paradise though, he will. And he's got some like some like future raven like whoever the equivalent. He's Ravens too good for him. But somebody's going to go make out with John Paul Jones. Maybe we'll actually see that. He's a delight, He's handsome. Yeah, no one was more. No one was more shocked than John Paul Jones.

And he honestly seemed like fun. We didn't get to see enough of him, but they had those delated scenes and he seemed like pretty fun. Yeah, I wanted my I wanted more and my baby boy, my waxing baby boy. Why why did he have to go? Yeah? That was a shape, but especially like had so much screen time, and like you said, there was so many guys like and Freddie who we need to do guys we need we could do a live show and get John Paul

Jones to come on. Yeah, by the way, though that um uh ship oh man, hold on, Dylan, Dustin, Kevin or Grant, Yes, Devin is really hot. Because they didn't they weren't showing him a little sewer, and all of a sudden, I was like, who's this hot? Is that Devin? And he's really freaking to show you the photo because they didn't before. Before this week they didn't he's that guy. They didn't show him. A lot guys were seen him. Yeah. Yeah,

he's got a great smile. He's really really cute. My only thing about him is there's a too much product going on in his hands. I need to look him up again. I need to go. Yeah at Katy, text me, I'm gonna text you a picture. Hold on, Um, yeah, he puts too much. There's something in his hair that's like a wax or something. He's got a surfboard on his head. Um. But yeah, they were. When she said Devin Dustin or one of those, I was like, oh, okay, wait,

Katie's texting me right now, let's see. Oh yeah, he's so cute. Now he's so cute. I feel like they were showing him before this week at all. I feel like he actually got really badly styled in the ABC Portrait studio and that and his hair with this weird side wedge. Does that happened quite as aggressive? Like? I feel like they loosen up because they're tired and a little drunk. So like by the time they got to Scotland, he's looking a little more like scruffy in a good way. Yeah,

just a little bit less wax Yeah the waxen. The waxen is not good. Okay, So now we have so then she even says like she has enough awareness. It's basically like, I want to fuck Luke p but I know better, Like she goes, my heart wants me to be here, but my head does not want him. But I just haven't had the time to explore what I need to explore with Luke, which means I need to

I want to go funk Luke is what she's basically saying. Yes, my heart, my virgin needs my Snooche needs a little runner on the block, okay, and then I can set him free and that's fine. There's that's fine, but but yeah I fegear Okay. So then here we are, we're in Scotland. And before we go to Scotland, that's son of a gun. He always commandeers, he takes over and the guys just hate him. He goes, I've got a toast for you all, all the all you gentlemen. But

for Hannah to finding your forever make good choices. It's like, yeah, wait, an insane thing to all you generally, And like the guys, these are like nice guys who are like befriending each other, like they yes, they hate him. I noticed. I noticed when Um just laughing, Mike just started like twortling at him. They are friends. Like I noticed when Kevin got chosen. Uh, someone in the background, I think it was Peter Pilot was like, oh, he looked really excited that like Kevin show.

He looked like, oh, my friend's gonna stay. So we know now from hanging out with some of these guys that they all like a lot of the fun for them is like this travel and like the broke yes that they all like have these like man love things. Yeah, they out of it like friends for like you really do. Side note, it's like a war at people that Okay, and and I are doing another episode. I know people have been asking for it is up. It'll be up.

By the time this episode airs, there will be a new one of Bachelor in Paradise, Australia and the Patreon is up and next the next one, episode four is when it's the best two ladies. Like, so one lady, one lady gets like a single date and she asks another woman and the women have the power at the rosarum in Paradise, and the guys are all freaking out because if they give their roses to each other, that means five guys are going home. Good is that? How

good is that over here? Hey? Wait, let's be aware open what's wrong with us? What's fun about it is there's no weirdness, like like it's just people, you know. And so there's one lady is torn between a man Alex, the Russian Alex, hot Russian Alex, and then um a lady named Alex, and like nobody is weird. There's one creepy PERV guy that's like into the idea, like he wants to be a part of the two ladies, but like nobody else has any like they're just cooler about it. Yeah. Anyway,

so they're going to Scotland. He makes his dumb toast, Mike laughs in his face. They go to they go to the capital of the Highlands, to this beautiful castle that looks like it's right near a lot of power line. I was like, what a pretty castle? I'm like, I thought, if I own that castle, I wouldn't really want some like the above shots make it look like I think their drone shots. Yeah they don't, Yeah they don't. I don't think you want to show how close all those

giant power lines. Yeah, that castle is actually the DWP. I believe they are like in buildings like that was like, so, she says, Mary Queen of Scots, had to deal with a lot of men, but she was beheaded. I just can't she's just reading the script. I mean, she's making up her fact. Yeah I can't, Yeah, I can't. So the guys had to go in and do their excited squeal in their new hotel and do the bed flop. Did the bed flop? They're hooting and um, and then

dead eye Luke is um. He's like she's making connections and I'm just gonna step in and I'm not gonna let it happen. He's such a murderer, he really is, Like he's just My friend texted me that she was watching with with a friend of hers who's like, I think she's a psychologist, and she said that he seems like he has a narcissistic personality disorder. By the way, me even just saying that out loud was like, oh my god, he's gonna murder me for hosting this podcast.

Be free, Luke, I believe that. You know, maybe you just need to loosen up. I'm just a silly comedian lady, Like, no, Luke, you're fucking crazy. Come after me a bit. Katie has some times you can protect her. I don't. I don't have cats. Funny funny will protect cat. You know what? Coll atter Katie over there, both sound asleep right now. Mitten's has opposable thumbs, but she can't do anything to to say, um so that whole mitten stuff. She'd be so cute, so cute, Rob, you haven't met my new

cat yet. No, I got my mom's cat. This cat is the cutest cat. She's the size of a kitten, and she has hands the size of a har m globetrotter and opposable thumbs. She's insane, She's so cute. Okay, So so she comes in and she gives like a crazy toast. It's basically like her trying to shake off Luke p. I think she was like, I just I

need to reflect on something. From now on, I can open my heart and so I want us all to be on the same page and focus on the real trying to be able to just say yes and own our home, but our hearts to love. And it was just like everyone was like wait, like she was. She gives a lot of Banana's speeches. When she has time left alone to think, she she stows and she comes up with some crazy ship and she either comes in weeping or smiling. She's a ride, and she tells you

she's a ride, and she's a ride and I love it. Yeah. Yeah, that was a weird way to start through trip to Scotland. And then Mike, she seemed like she was snapping. Mike God chosen on a one on one and he did the Howard Dean yell outside he did the Gods Mike. He's so handsome, he's such a gentleman, and he has no game, no game. He's so hot and kind and like he can't play. He's got to play it a little cooler. He's got Yeah, he was like a into it, Like I was like, you know, be a little check. Yeah,

maybe it's so nervous. He kept twirling her around and he was, look, I get nervous. Too, and I'm sure I do weird things that he couldn't have been sweeter, but like he couldn't slow his role and he kept he was so nervous and too openly excited. You want to be a little bit of a chase. You need a little a little mystery. Yeah. But they seem to have a good date though, Like they genuinely. She seemed to have fun and it seemed to relax her, which I thought with him. And there was a drinking sour

candies faces. Those kids are so funny, canny, that black ball that you could have to day. Oh my god. When they went to the bookstore and just like sniffed the books and shook and listened to the eggs, It's like that was so fun. I don't know why I just listened to that. They sniffed the books and listen to the It's like, how about you open the book and I get it? Book smelled good. I love the smell of bok. It was a good looking bookstore. It was you know, I said to Anthony, can we go there?

I just charity bookstore? Um, so I know back at the ranch, we have we had people. The entire group was like basically like, hey, bro, you fucking suck you. You smeared Luke s you're a liar. You don't have any business talking about Lucas And then he was like I don't. I don't even know the guy. And they're like, well, um, you better. Like all the guys were like, you're a piece of ship. Yeah, I mean, that's so weird about it, Like he keeps changing his story. That's yeah, It's it's

so bizarre. It's like he's got no backbone at all, Like, you know, even even when even earlier when he's talking to her and Luke and he was like I just don't think you're right for her, dude, and then like ten minutes later, after she walked away, he's like, you're right. I have no business saying you're you're not right for her, you know what I mean. He just like keeps changing

his story. He's infuriating. Yeah. Yeah. So when they just repeats back with people saying like yeah, he's like yeah, and he does what he She she actually, we'll get there later. But I actually felt like she saw him very clearly of like you just repeat back and say what you think I want to say. But but it's like a psycho automatron. Don't kill kell Katie. I don't kill me kell Katie. Yeah. So the other day they have their whiskey. Is that what it was? Whiskey that? Yeah,

Scott looked really good. She goes where Scott she goes. We're um. So the women are whiskey in a teacup. We're strong on the inside, but we're ornate on the outside or Nate. I thought that was really funny. Where where does she learn that one? You know? That was like I was like armed school. I felt like that was passed down, like we we beat what I don't know what her last name is, Hannah by We be women brown. So then they went they ate haggist. She's hammered,

she's chopping down on the haggist. And then the guy was like that you it's the intestines of sheep. Like I wouldn't eat that. I don't know what that was. Everyone knows what. They're really dumb when it came to Scotland. I know you're so dumb about Scotland. They didn't deserve to be there. He just kept saying, he kept saying, I want to be around you more and more, and then he he was just he had no game, and he would think they just don't really have a connection.

I think he could have game with the right girl. He has potential. He's so tweet, but he goes he knew the exact date that he told his exity lover, and he broke she broke his bond. I don't know the date. I told the date. It was like, that was weird. And then he half a decade, Yeah, that was weird. It's like, oh, you don't need to and then somebody tweeted at us that it was I guess it was Christmas Day. It was like, all right, you

can remember, Like that's weird. So then he asked her about her past, which I actually liked because nobody ever asked anybody anything. And then she says, I've been living my life from man to man and doubting myself. I didn't believe in myself enough. Um. And then he said it's hard for me to open up. I sound like a little kid. You make me nervous, very find it very scary. I need a drink. I'm so nervous. And then he started going, help me, help me, help me. Uh.

And then he says, I've only told one moment. I loved her. Just so you know, I'm thirty one years old, I've been around the world. I'm ready, and I can see myself getting down on one knee with you in a few weeks. Yeah, that was weird, especially since he can barely talk to her, Like it was like, what is happening here? Yeah? Also, uh, there was a lot of drinking that day, like they did. They went to two different pubs. They did Scotch tasting diner. He's like,

I need a drink. It's like, do you, buddy? Yeah? Do you? Yeah? If you can't even get through one dinner, how can you? How are you going to propose to this person that you cannot talk to? Yeah? Oh god, it goes back to that. You make me feel like a little kid. That is such Have you ever said that's to a woman? Rob? Have you make me funny? No? No?

And I won't no, they won't know. It just made me feel like a little boy, feel like a little kid, like a ship fast horn, a little kid who doesn't know what's what he's doing with women who have a bone, or like a little kid with a bone or super need to drink. I love Mike. I'm going to say, there a great bachelor and that's why he got the rose because great. I thought that too. I thought he would be a good bachelor because he's so smart and be a great bachelor. They're not going to pick um.

They're not going to pick him, but they could. They could. They could. I don't see they should, but they're I don't see it happening, but they should. They should, They really should. Okay, so luke p. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the son of a bitch who will then later deny this. He goes, I just need to get one more one on one. I need to find clarity to see if this is if I want to stick around or not. And they're like, fuckhead, you told her, which which is it?

You said I'm in love with you? And now you need more clarity like like and then on the date with her, he's like, I've loved you from the beginning. It's like, have you because earlier today you said you need a more clarity? Like, which is it? Dude? He's just crazy. Yeah, he's just a fucking liar. Yeah yeah. Before we get to the group date, here's a quick break, Oh bone Zone. Time for the bone Zone ABCS sexy

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Check into Grand Hotel next Monday, June sevent on ABC. I saw the pilot. It's super fun. I'm going to keep watching. I think you guys would really like it. The cast is super hot, it's super fun. There's drama, there's murder, there's like, uh, pretty locations. You're like, what's going on? There's affairs. I think you guys will really like it. The bones Zone. Let's get in the bone zone. Guys. Are you guys? Okay? Is everybody hydrated? How's everybody doing

on in the world? Thank you for listening. Oh my god, we got the sweetest email from somebody who did one of the live shows with us. I guess a guy I leaned over and I told him he had a good voice and he should do voiceovers, and he like started doing voiceoverstion. I love it. Yeah, we appreciate you listeners. We like, we're rooting for all of you. Life is hard, man, and we want all of you to thrive. So thanks for emailing that and we appreciate it. Um, okay, we're

back on the group date. Group day. There's a guy. Oh, everybody's in their kilts and they go up and um, they're going to go do a group day. Okay, out Highland Games, I mean highly Games Outcomes, Braveheart and this man he's a professional battle reenactor. Can we try to do that? Scottish accents? You want me to play it. I can play it through my computer. Yeah, you play it? Can Can I hear it? Will I be able to

hear it? You won't be able to hear it, though I can play it because you sent it to me so and I held Let me pull it up, Charlie. He is all renowned battle re enactor. Are you ready for us? Sure? Absolutely, You're going to be well and participating in one of the most ancient Celtic Hiland games. It's not just about your strength and physical authority. It's about just your strength. It's not just about your drink and physical blood. It's not It's not just about your

strength and physical It's about her and heart. You nailed it, that is it? Oh man, It's not about your strength, it's beg your ability. Okay, that's good. That's gonna wait. I'm gonna play. I have it here, let me hear it. Wait wait, wait, absolutely participate in one of the most ancient Celtic land games. You're going to be participating. You're going to be participating in the most ancient Celtic games. You're going to be particip Pitton and what are the

most ancient Celtic games? You want to know. The sad thing is I actually I did a play at the public like a mam a play, and I did a Scottish accent. But I only learned it line by line. I have no retention. Okay wait, I'm gonna play one more. I'm gonna okay, okay, wait wait wait wait wait, yes, I want let say I want this for it all right, game, you can edit it all down. But what I love, no, I'm keeping it all. What I love arden is when you when you really nailed the Scottish accent, your voice

goes into like this weird hobbit place. Yeah, yeah, you're like art about I booked a part with that? How is that possible? And I'm not even exaggerating that this is the best I can do right now, Like I'm not playing at being better. I don't know how I booked that part. I think you're I think your accidents. I understand it. When I when I was a kid, I thought watched this movie on HBO when people just first got HBO. I'm talking about the eighties kids. When I was a kid, um and there was a movie

called Gregory's Girl. There was a Scottish movie. And whenever I do Scottish accent. I've got to do it like the characters and Gregory's girl was who were all like twelve year old, So I have to go it like who is Gregory s gil you are? You are a Gregories girl? Know you like you want to do? I do it? I do it like um fat bastard and so a crying tears. It is gigantic pillow tonight. That was nailing it. We're nailing it. So then they do

they do ax throwing. None of the guys hit it except for Hannah in the previous Hannah is pretty and then she's got like a real she was like, bow down. I loved it. I love that that's the side of her that likes to wax the guy's nipples and like, yeah, she's a real dominatrix. I think she is. She is bow down, you will fucking lick my feet piece of ship.

That is. She is definitely the dominant one. I think it's crazy and some of the guys are like, all right, and the guys had a blast because P's in there. People are Yeah. A lot of people tweeted us that they were like they figured since there was like a lethal weapon involved in these games that the producer's right. Could you imagine if Lupie like he would have thrown an ap oh my god, and the wrestling, he would

have broken someone's back. He literally would have ripped somebody's balls off because they would have had no wonder where, like they would have seen how small his balls are? They for the steroidoid, don't Katie drink? I like I've made of like I made a say, I made like a hand chester shrunken balls into the body. Sure, it's like they're like he's like hung like a duck. Internally they're like like the his cavity hashtag hung like a duck?

Should that be the name of the episode? Place murder? Katie? Please that we have back. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we have back. We have Mike and Luke and Mike. Mike is if Mike brought his cool manliness to his dates that he had in his interactions with Luke, he would be the front runner because he is the suavest. He was like, I'm concerned deeply about what you're what you're doing to have what you're going to tell Hannah last night you were questioning, No, it wasn't. He was like,

you've got selective memory. Um, and then he says to the camera, she loves his exterior, but she's going to see his luke Ness Monster. God he was, he kept saying it. He was. I actually, I actually feel like Mike actually came up with it and was so psyched that he came up with it that they couldn't stop

saying it. Yeah, they're like one too many Lucknus references. Anyway, They're like, he's like the Lockness Monster of the you know what I mean, like everything, and when they figured out the Lukeness Lukeness and then Lukeness Monster just blew it all open. I mean, look, I've beat a horse to death with a joke before, like I've overdone it. You've all heard me numerous times overdo it, and yet that was bad. ABC loves that kind of ship though. They love like fucking words, the puns like they did

it all the time. I feel like I'm trying to think of like other times they've done that, and I know what's happened, but I think it they love it, so then they have they're back at the games, they're actually playing and Tyler, who is just getting hotter and hotter in my eyes, I need to send you the photos that Laurie sent me of him modeling hole. They're all on his Instagram. I follow him. It's amazing. He's amazing and apparently he actually he's football are like apparently

and he never talks about it apparently like a real career. Yeah, yeah, he actually played football and he left he as him an injury. He doesn't talk about. He had the date on the lobster boat in my hometown last week. Oh right, right, right, right Compton. And then I know, I know there was no Chiron. It didn't write Little Compton. I know, I know they should have. I know I really felt jacked. Um okay, So then they're doing that right that guy, yeah,

that she made out with on the bed. He was we'll get to that, say save it, save it for later. That was exciting. So then we have so then we have wrestling with no underwear, and she says, it's not the size of your bagpipe, it's how you play it. I'm gonna blow all of these scotsmen. And of course I'm watching this with my twelve year old daughter. She's actually talking about bagpipes there. Yeah, you're like, Daddy's got to learn this for work exactly, it's unpaid charity work

times for the state. It's like it's like a prison sentence. Um. And then um, there's duty here. We're here for duty to win Hannah's booty. And then jed one and they had like a kiss in front of everyone. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't love I didn't love her him taking her down. I didn't know that either. I didn't either. That wasn't sexy. You know, he should have at least let her take him down. I didn't. I didn't like that either. And also, did you know he was a burlesque dancer in real life? Yeah?

We saw that on like someone told us easy. Yeah, they tached tweeted at us. He's like part of a male nude review. That's like PG third team with like speedos in Nashville. What no Katie shown photos show photo. Okay, So then jed one and he's like, I'm the winner, I'm your lord. I've come to see I can't even read that. I don't know they did it, and then she tried to straddle him in her like mermaid gown. Oh my god. That was I mean, she was just she was for it for me, and I was like,

get I loved it. We haven't had this randy of a of a bachelorette since Caitlin, and I love it. I love it. Get it girl. And then she was like, I like being with you, Jed, and he was like and then he was like grabbing her ass like that ass, and he was like, I like he want. She was like so pissed that her dress was like cock like it was like a chastity built dress, and she couldn't straddle and she would like side, she like side ride ahead to try to straddle more like in that dress.

The beated whereas do it at that? No, no you can, you can barely like step away up a step unforgiving dress. But she is she's she's cute. I mean she does have a nice booty. Yes, she's got a great he was getting at it. She's got a great So then her next her suitor number two. It didn't work. I appreciated the effort, nerdy, but I like that. I like that.

She was just like, where do you want me? Like sure, he brought her into the pool table an awkward but that dress again, it's hard to lift somebody up and place se in that dress. You need to be able to also. Yeah, but but I like that. She was like, great, do it just doing that. That's that smooth movement of putting some on the table. It's like probably a lot harder than it looks. Yeah, and low hanging lamps. Hanging lamps you need to be in like jeans, so you

could do the Bachelor leg wrap reading. So if you already have the BA for leg rab greeting, just say you're in like a jumpsuit or something you need like a pant, and then in the leg grab greeting and then you can land, but you're still going to hit your head on the lamp the way. A quick note about Peter Pilot, who I love, of course, did you notice that there were like three times in this episode where he ran around with his arms out like a plane. I did notice it and didn't put it together, like

getting it off the plane. And I think he did a choice like going into the bar, and he did it like when they were like playing outside. He literally like he ran down like in the le jet way like a fucking plane. And it's just like, Peter, Kylie, I still love you, but what the fudde it's too on the nose that's the kind of thing for me.

I'm a fickle enough lady. There's a side of me like younger me was fickle enough that if I'd made out with you and you are a pilot and say we made out once, like we like kissed once, we kissed on the pool table. And by the way, I empathize with Peter Pilot on the pool table because I feel like I would be the dumb dumb that would be like lifted on the pool table and then like awkward, going like wait what, and like I would hit my head and to be embarrassed, like I'm the non smooth

one in that situation. But if I'd made out with Peter Pilot and then somebody showed me footage of him running, I would have mosted him. I would have goested at Anthony by the way, I was watching this, and he was so mad. He goes, that's so bad, that's so bad for the balancing of the pool table. Yeah, I felt like he was. We needed to that plane running like I won't go back and rewatch it and take video because they kept doing it. I think we need our poster to be a screen grab of him running,

like Okay, I'll get it. Oh my god, and then we have so they're kissing blah blah blah. He was like that was hot and sexy, and then her hot Tyler Tyler, he she she goes, you see what we have over there, and she went and was like fucking getting at it on a flour paster bed with him and a kilt. And I don't think anything under that hot and the kill. I am always on Tyler. Now. Side note, we also had when she was like jamming

with Jed what's his name one of the stairs. Yes, that was Kevin with a revolutionary war cast like Kevin. And then they laughed about it downstairs, like the guys are all friends, the guy that upstairs, like they were cool with that. Yeah, I was thinking about that when earlier we were talking about they how they all get along like that was actually kind of funny, you know what I mean? When it's like he was like I

could not watch and they laughed about it. I mean, look, he handled it well because Jed had the same experience when he caught her getting massage like nude with Luke p. Yeah, she's getting out and I look, so she's so hardy and then wait, I mean I can't wait till the point in the show where she says something about like I've had sex and I'm good with Jesus. I can't wait. Yes, which I always thought it was Jed. You're not not Jed. Luke yelling at her about life like we're not done

with him yet. Well, we saw him praying in the church like he's peering up, not dumb, Jesus. Run him in the shower again. They tell him to murder some people. Jesus made me do it, Jesus. Jesus climbed up in my duck, cabinet and murder murder. Funny is going to protect you. Jesus climbed up in my duck because I am a Jewey probably hates me. Okay, so wait, so

then Garrett pulls her aside. Okay. So meanwhile, back at the ranch, Mike and Luke here they're staring at each other and then the card gets dropped there for the single day card, and Mike just walked out. He is a He is so great in his dealings with Luke. P Mike. If you're listening to this, we believe in you bring that swag to your dates. Yeah, because that's even though it was probably already over. But yes, or your future dates, bring that guy to the date because

you are that guy. Um okay. So then Garrett says to her, I'm officially ready to take the next step. I think that means it's like a proper kiss, because last week he just like gave her like a pact like eighteen times. Yeah, what's happening here? I'm hearing string Scout was drinking water. Just look, Wow, is getting strangled? Right? What its happening? Waita to say that again, I'm officially

ready to take the next step. And I think that meant that it was like he was ready to like tongue kiss her because last week was like, but he's like he's not done. He also has no game and he was my number one pick for the season. He's my he is all of our number one pick and he's done nothing. But it looks like it looks like something. I don't know, it looks like he might be in it more. Well, I guess we'll find out. Yeah, yeah, we'll see somebody does something next week. Could be him.

I like that. Mike p said this is a ship sandwich, throw it away. That's what he said about Luke k yeah, pretty good. Um. So then all of the guys hate him, and she says, okay, there's no denying the comments and the red flags, but I'm gonna go have a picnic with the psychopath near where they film game Game of Throne sets. And how about the little talk they had with him before we left to keep our names out of your mouth, funny, just be a man and don't

mention that was Garrett. That was Garrett. He was like, no, seriously, be a fucking man. I was like, oh, okay, Garrett, I see you. I see you, Garrett. So look, Pete. They're having a horrible picnic by the side of the cliff. And my mom texted me by the way, being like I would not be near a cliff with it. But that's like a dateline episode waiting to happen, Like like he's pished like three of his wives. They've I've died on picnics. Thank god for those those hikers that she

oh my hikers and the paig. She goes, I want to make sure we're on the same page. Why don't the guys like you. He's like, I did a lot of thinking. I think I know the root of it. Um, I could have handled the whole sideline thing better. Uh, they had no business saying it. And I asked guys like Mike, Dylan and Devon, but I'm never going to

be I'm looking for the better me. And then she goes, She goes, I'm looking for a better man, and I want man that people are drawn to, like what's I want somebody who's what's inside is appealing and he goes, everyone loves me. She was like, gross, that's most of all. How does this affect you? How does this make you feel? And then she was like, I just want to know anything about you, like do you like macaroni and cheese or spaghetti? And then she goes, I want you to

give me clarity. How does it make you feel? And she's like give me a second and she's like no, and then she found the hikers. There's no feelings like it was amazing. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get past him, like I can somebody talk to him about what it means when I say how do you feel? And they go, I think he just needs time. You need to say that. You need to talk to him. What she was basically she keeps trying to make him not be a psychopath, but

he is. She's trying so hard, too hard, She's getting too many chances. She even said, and I've let other guys go for less than this. Everybody, everybody. So I just bummed me out that they and it seemed like the hikers slash producers. And he kind of wanted her to keep him at least till dinner because she could have let him. She could have let him go right there, just knocked him on down the hill. Yeah, and that's

what they did, Pizza, No roads for you. They she kept saying, I need the real Let's go look at the castle. This guy it felt like a two on one, except for it was just with himself. Really reminded me of like a mom being annoyed with her kids on vacation, be like, let's just go look at this fucking castle. This castle. Like I remember, like so like I remember like being in England with my family and my sister died, fighting and my dad just being like, we're gonna enjoy

this fucking castle. Kid in here right now. My god, I just had a flashback of like I had a horrible boy for it. I remember just being like if I could be here with anybody, but you like, just look at this beautiful view, and why am I here with you? You You? And I paid for the whole thing?

Oh my god. Um. And then I was thinking, like, if she winds up with this guy, which she won't clearly, but like she might, you're not gonna have other You're gonna have producers to run off than like talk to real quick and you know what I mean, Like, I don't think we've seen the last of him. I really don't know. I think Debbie texted me this morning that she thinks he's going to make it to hometowns. Can

you imagine, you know, he yells at his mom. You know, he's like, damnit, Sharon, I told you to bleach my jeans, Like I mean, because you know, you know, he lives with his mom and yells at her. He's not going to take no for an answer. You guys, you remember from the first episode when you introduced him and he was like, so, I'm a good looking guy. Yeah, that was my first red five. He was like, I think I'm good looking. He was, I think I think I'm a good uh oh no, he said, I think I'm

a good looking guy. And the woman and the women at my college thoughts so till yeah, yeah, and he said I was a real player. And then he decided and then she did the shower, probably because he took so many steroids he couldn't come anymore. And then he's like, balls, I didn't say that wasn't the sucking, the what did you? The hobbit the hobbit voice, Okay, so um, Hannah. They go on their dinner date and she was like, today did not go well, and he goes, I just think,

come in thin ice with you. I haven't heard the phrase thin eyes since I was a kid, you know the way he said that. Actually, he was like sometimes I just feel like around you, like I'm on thin I. He was like almost blaming her though, which really fucking pissed me. I was letting me out a bit. This is all you I haven't heard. My mom used to be like, you guys run thin eyes, Like. I haven't been on thin ice with anybody since I was like nine? Were you? And I deserved it when I was on

thin ice. I deserved to be anthan eyes. I could be always. I mean, I'm on thin ice with you, ah. I for me, it's PTSD because I fell through ice one time. And then she says, I do have worries about you. Quite honestly, Um, I understand where that comes from. She's like, I want a real man, a man that can own up to his fault. She was like, I'm just trying to be perfect. It's hard for me. Basically, he's playing the part of Hannah on her season, like yes, but but but but she was also but luke x

was really her. When he's like, Caln is telling you lies. Why can't you Why are you believing her is our lies? And and he's like, but I just want to Funkalin, you know, and this is but I just want lukep not you, Lucas. Um, I'm trying to be hard is perfect. I felt like I only had the reel you at the beginning, but not now, which I got mad at. And then she was like, no, no, say it. At least that's real. And then she was like, I had to deal with a lot of crap, Kalin, and I

did not handle it. Well, Holy crap, I did this all. But I'm mad at myself and uh and and he goes, I've loved every single thing about you, and she was like, what the fuck this is weird, and he goes, it's hard watching you with other guys flipping through my fingers. And then and then she she said the thing about I liked it, actually liked it when you got mad on the at the football game, at the rugby match, because at least you showed emotion. I was like, that's

really fucked up that you like that. Yeah, I didn't like that either. Everything he says, it's like very piss us off, like I feel you slipping through my fingers with other guys, like the whole like just him being like I see other other guys talking to my like it's all very possessive. He seems really abusive. And then he just strange stray up abusive and then he doesn't blink and he's clenching his fists, and then she says, sometimes I'm on my knees at church and sometimes I'm

a devilish bit. Yeah, cuts to him on his knees at church. I thought that was a weird ya that trained to God to be a better person, I guess. And then he goes, do you feel like we've had enough time? And it's like you had just as much time as ye else. I loved that. I was like, good for you. I gave you the time. Today did not feel good. I don't know how I feel about you. This is not what i'd hoped for. I was always excited to see you good or bad, but today was

the worst date so far. I want to know who you are and I don't. There are um no real to lead to what I really want with you. And he was like, I can't, and she said, Luke, I can't give you this rose. And then the look on his face when she said you know that. He thought she was gonna be like, so, I'm gonna give this to you, but I really need this, and she just said I look in his face was like murder, Like he's like, I'm gonna murder Katie. My cavity. I I

can't wait to murder Katie. I hope that dog drinking the from the ball there's noisy and covers up the downs and then we see him praying and saying it's my fault. I hope she forgives me. I fear we've not seen the last of Lucas thinks he's going to hometowns. I mean, no way. I I feel like he's not gone because I feel like he's gonna like be like, hey, I prayed and I saw the error of my ways or whatever, and like he's going to come back. And

I don't fucking I don't think he's gone. And I think I think it's partially because the producers, and I think it's partially because like she wants his dick so bad for some unknown reason, because it's not gonna work, girl, come on, like um or it's going to be one of those things like what's his name? It came back the whistler, Chad, Oh yeah, yeah, back the door. Yeah,

Jordan Rogers looks like, oh no, oh my god. With Chad and JoJo's season, that's yeah, yeah, because I remember like seeing Jordan Rodgers looking like it's gonna ship his pants. Oh my god, life's not all blueberries and paper planes. You guys, will you guys doe to the week with me? Why So, let me ask you this, who do you think it's gonna win? Right now? Right now? It's playing like Jed right No, I think Peter Pilot. Who do you think it's gonna win? Rob, Peter Pilot, Tyler? I

like Peter Pilot. I think it's Tyler. This song writer is a song. I think I think Jed has a has a good shot at it. I mean, I don't love him, but I think he's got a good shot at I know you're not good. I listened to them. You tell me what you texted me so well. My friend Mark Finn texted me being like, you need to listen to these songs because they're fucking nuts. And so I listened. By the way, like they're all like weird,

they're like they're they're like um like jokes songs. No once like almost like reggae and like and the and the other time sounds like something you would hear on the Bachelorette, Which is funny because then I looked at related artists and guess who's in there? To Neil Art and so many people email that they played like the Canadian National anthem atic game next week you Art sang at the Canadian thing, the Canadian national anthem anthem at

the NBA Finals the other night. Really excitement happening. I've been watching those games. I guess I don't want I don't watch, so I could be actually don't know if the game the night before last, the game and the night before last. Yeah, she did like a Canadian. No, No, it was the last. It was the game before last. It was No, it was in Golden States. So it was two games ago. Yeah, two games ago. And and she um yeah and she she sang it. That's so funny.

I know, I probably just I don't watch the beginning arts larious. I'm so sorry Canada, you got boned. Um alright, tweet. There were so many good tweets that I think there's like seven that I've narrowed it down to so that we have to pick it down to two. Here we go. I couldn't pick there were too many. Here we go. Number one, sham sham at sham Sham. Two on three, Rest in peace, John Paul Jones, Now get back home on Laura basket of lotion to the Senator's daughter before

Clarice finds her. I like that, okay. Number two champam at CHAMPI two on three, Wait, if Devin's in Scotland, who's rapping all of the non union foot models in Sherman Oaks right now? He's a talent manager? Okay, um, okay, let's see um Jenny hunt at Jenezuela. I was really hoping for a Chiro on the bottom of the screen that said mctneil o art on the bottom of the screen of that. Okay, um, Jenny Hunt and Jenezuela. Wait, I don't get to see John Paul Jones playing these

games in a kilt, and I'm feeling deprived. R I P J p J. Rest in Paradise. We'll see him there, sure, alright, Paradise is pretty good. Um okay. Emily as Berry at Emily Asberry hardcome from the at lukenss monster to a literal, blurred out asshole. Oh my god, I did do that. I love that. Oh my god, that was good. Let's see okay, um um okay. Rebecca Fini at PENI. I can't shake the feeling that Luke P can pounce through the TV and strangle me if I look at his

dilated eyes too directly. Yeah, that's it's like something you wrote yourself. Yes, exactly, Okay, Rebecca Fini at Phoenie. Oh this is a good one, big ass Douce Canoe. Sounds like the porno Luke P starting right before Jesus spoke to him in the shower. Does Devin the talent agent know something we don't. That's because he said that last night. He said, okay, last two, Cheyenne Constant at TRIXI Firecracker, Peter stopped trying to do things you saw in cinemax

as a team. Those scenes were edited in real life it's awkward and not sexy. And then seth vat at Basebone one, Hannah, Hannah is about to make Jed okay said that at Baseball one, Hannah is about to make Jed lord of her landing strip. All right, I'm gonna narrow it down to these two. Um, it's going to be okay, here we go, these two. It's going to be this one. JN you have to have blurred out okay, Jenny haunts. I don't get to see John Paul Jones

playing these games in the Kilton and feeling deprived. R I p J p J rest in Paradise and Emily asked very at Emily asked very hardcore from the Lukeness Monster to real literal Blord. I like that. I gotta do that one. It's so good, such a good one. I love it. Um, Rob, where can people find you? What do you have to promote? I'm on Instagram and r O Benedict. I'm on Twitter at r O B Benedict and uh, you can find me on Supernatural. I was at the end of last season. There was a cliffhanger,

and stay tuned for this last season. It's could be our final season is Supernatural and uh and and Chuck is is uh is going to be back? That's all I can say. Oh my god, Um, okay, I have UM. By the way, we appreciate you liking us on I tunes. We appreciate you liking us on Facebook. Here's two of our new um. Here's here's three of our new reviews. Five stars Feminist Rule, Thank you, Kristin o A three one Where else can you get Bachelor recaps, feminist viewpoints

and grief support in one podcast So True? Five stars k did eighty one. What Isn't there to love? Especially the songs and padget near now Um five stars Chill seven to five. The songs are amazing, learned how to leave a review on here just to say that I love the songs and get so excited when new guests surviving to get fun new tunes. Keep up all the wonderful work. Thank you so much. I will be on the new season of Instaable that will be coming up

this fall. And I'm writing a book that will be coming out in twenty twenty, tentatively titled straight Out a Little Compton. And I'm instagram at Arta Marine and Twitter, et cetera. Katie. Where can people find you? I'm on Twitter in Instagram Katie Underscore money um. And also I want to say to people, as always adopted, don't shock. Right now, all of the l A shelters are super full and they're about to get fuller because it's fourth a dry and there's incessant fireworks here. So if you

can foster a dog, it helps save lives. So please, you know, look into fostering from any of the six l A County shelters. And if I didn't have four cats, I would go do that myself. But maybe that's that's a lot of cats. Maybe maybe you doo can get four cats and that makes my household have eighty thumbs. Don't really wait, I can't do mad Mint test Mint Tess two extra thumbs per hand. There's a thumb inside the extra thumb. There's It's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Some people are freaked out by it, and some people will know. I would like to um like Rob, will you join us next Thursday if I can capture Lance Bath Yes? Please? Okay, great, thank you for joining us. Don't hang up. I miss you all. Thanks for doing this, giving the podcast. We'll be back. It'll be late. It'll be next Thursday, probably in the evening, so just watch out, Perette. Bye.