"Grandma Uggboot!" With Bryan Safi, Alexis Waters and Jasmine Goode

get you into both of those. The actual date has not been set yet, but look it looks like right now it's at least going to be me and Aaron, and Jasmine and Alexis have said that they're coming, and Lori has said that she's coming, and Paget is talking about common. We have a few people talking about coming, so it should be really fun. I'll also be at Hyenas in Dallas April six and seventh, and I will be in Alaska March sixteenth and seventeenth on Alaska Comedy

dot com. Everything's on my website, Arta Marine and y r Ian dot com. Enjoy they need to be they need to be fielding. Oh my god, we made it. We made it. Pressure to American pressure us A yesa sa, I accept dip the dream scene. It is okay if you guys, it's happening. I'm never more excited about a combination. You guys are like you guys us. Only I can say I was like fully star struck downstairs, and I hope I played Apple should say something like, hias work,

why this guy stop? Welcome to except this rose. My name is Art Marine, and I have to say, America, We're at Canada, Australia, where I don't judge where you are be free world. We I have a sembled You guys asked for it, and you shall receive the fucking new two thousand eighteen fan favorites. You know they're the newest additions to the squad. And and I gotta tell you I consider you all my best friends. Is that

fucked up? Um? To my right? I have a man that single handily we went to the moon and back. We did the entire Gloria Stefan song together for Bibyana for full commitment. You're also the only person I talked to you on the phone. I called him on the calls. Okay, Brian, po ry Jane right, I'm gonna flip over for texting, so I don't see anybody's phones because I get I have a D D um. I like full a d D. I can't. Okay, Brian, I did I called you on

the phone. When Jennifer Anison got divorced, I didn't know who to calls. I was like, I have to call. Brian called. And literally, when when someone calls me, I just I'm like, why are you calling? Where are you calling? But with Art and I saw her name pop up, and I was like, I want to talk to her. You knew I was in trouble. I was like, I was like, Jenny, Jenny is getting borced. So soon we were all rooting for her, were rooting for her. Oh my god, you might hear those voices and know that

these are women. I feel like I've known my whole lives. It's so I got like, Lord, Chris Harrison brought you into my world via my television and the television birth you, and then we met you in San Francisco, and now you're my best friend. I know that we're going to Austin babies. Oh my god, are you Okay, it's officially okay, so we're going to Austin. We have Alexis Wader said, Jasmine, We've never brought people back so fast on the podcast.

We had so much fun with you last week, and I was like, because this is the world's shortest season of a television show ever, I was like, I need to bring back my treasures to end it, and boy, I can't even. We also have with us a woman who fought the batch of her franchise, who started off okay when you were here, she was offended, she hated it. Now she requested to do this, but because she's sucking all in and she loves it. Oh my gosh, I mean you love it right. And we also have um

kind of my Yoda, my guru, my financial advisor. She also is the best. She's She's the question before we get started, as there anything you guys want to promote? Where can people find you? Except for heaven um my Twitter and Instagram is Jasmine good underscore you can find me there and there's an there's the end. Yeah, yes, silent, you'll find me selling um t VT on Instagram and access waters Underscore. Yes, I'm just at Brian Sofie, you'll

find me watching Jude Judy every day. I love. Please follow me on Instagram at Arta marine m y r I N because I just need some more I need free stuff. I need I need some more followers because I need some free stuff. Okay, you guys, let's just I'm gonna ask you guys, because you we the Bachelor franchise. Well, it gives gifts, it's also gonna make me homeless. There was so many fucking hours, as you might as because we're a team, we're in this together. Do we want

to start out here? It's just our fans know. I want everyone to feel safe and take care of because I'm organized. But it's chaos. So here we go. What we're gonna cover today is an encyclopedia of boning and zoning and tears and Crown Pound Town and Nicky Cage. So we've got the finale of Best Winter Games, We've got the aftershow Bechel Winter Games, and we've got the women. Tell all, what do you guys want to start out with? Want to start with? Women? Tell all you want to

start with? Okay, Becca's earrings, Oh my god, they're like drinking was literally just texting our group chat about I mean, I love I love her because she's got pep. I like this, she actually personality. I love her. I really want to see her star as Roxy Heart in Chicago. Like I feel she's like a performer. And those earrings just took me back to my felt like a DreamCatcher. I felt like I felt like I was like, am I a burning man? Did I take some Ayawaska? Yeah?

She was. I was like partner was like bull coal girlfriend. She was the first woman to wear flats and her short hair on the Bauchler overall, Okay, what do you let's talk. Let's just go right to the chase, needle dick, finger blast day and the sea word. I mean the the current day Bachelor got called a needle dick. I'm amazing. Sorry, did she see his dick or she just said he looked like that's a great question. I saw it. No, you don't think she had time to do the Keith

because they went to They did go to Scuttsdale. She's a that's where it all goes down. I haven't had a nail Nick and Scott's. I feel like maybe she did say over the yeah, you can do that I bet you Nick was packing. He Nick, I believe he has the confidence, like he has too much confidence for to be himself. It feels like you have to have a big old ween to be packer. I don't know.

I feel like Ari to me just seems like someone who's dick should be like on an antidepresent, Like there's like something I don't know why, there's something that like he's like's tired. I mean, I guess like he needs a motivation, do you think guess because is it the cowl? Next twetters, Yes, Yeah, it might be the cafeteria style that he has. Yeah, he wore the turtleneck going into the Fantasy sweet like that no state. He wore the turtle neck like Nick, that guy love he loved a

turtle neck. Even on Kitlin season. He came strong with an irishness to utter and he was like he was like, this is my gym. I'm like the I'm the guy that kind of is like dude, I just okay. Then she then it turns out so Caroline was aggressively up. She was like, I am ready for paradise. She made me down. Thing she was like because she was a pretty lady who did not get a lot of air time,

and she auditioned hard for parents. She didn't the emotion she went, she showed that she had him like, got you that she could be controversial paradise here I come. Here was my problem with it last night because we are spoiler free. We're spoiler free podcast. And so when she said last night, when she goes, I know what you didn't, all America was like, what did he do? And then I God, bless my fans, the fans out there, they all were basically alert, alert everyone accidentally. I still

don't know. I know it's gonna be good. I cannot It's torture for me. I want to eat all the candy in the bag of me there what's already respond to her saying, he said, it will all be revealed by the way, UND don't I don't want to know. If you could, I don't know. I don't want to know. I mean, I'm gonna cross. I'm gonna close my eyes and you guys can make guys, but no sound in my mind, and you definitely just look at each other and not her shake head. In my mind. What happened

is there's a switcher roo at the end. Now, I don't want to hear anything, but in my mind is a switcherroo okay and I'm back all right. So so I I felt like I saw that. So I felt like I felt Crystal is out of her fucking mind. She is, she sitting in a show. She's so gorgeous that I was looking at her like she she's got that hot pot and she's she's got that, She's got

the Karin kreate like that. But although Karin was like a little but she's like she had enough of like a like controversy that they're going to send her just to go be like Chad or Correctise was completely if you see her do the boys. That when A found a personality was when he sat on like when he was like sort of giving it back to her. I was like, whoa, that's kind of where are you the whole season? Ari? Yeah, I know he's been he goes. I love that. Wow, I love that. I love that.

Ari on Twitter right now is being a savage like anybody's like lapping back. I think he's just had enough because everybody's just now I know now he's clapping back. Debbie Ryan, who I think is going to come to Austin. She was on Sweet Life on back she was jest. She did a pod and she goes, never has a more vanilla man been celebrated? Like she's never watched the Pot, She's never watched the TV show before, so she watched it. She's like, I've never seen a more vanilla man. He's

celebrated so vanilla. Like Alexis, how are you watching this dweeb on TV Fineline. I'm like, I'm sorry, Like, you've got to come to the pads go, we gotta change them up. They're not into the Bachelor, so I'm trying. It's like it's just like it's like dating the manager of like Pure One like reminds me of that is. He's got too much wicker, too much wicker. He's like, this is hard, and it's like Marilyn renversation. You know, I'm like a newspaper headline, O God, I'm so hot.

I want to take my shirt off. I might take my shirt off later. Let's day. Don't hashtag me too if I okay, so then we have so then we have um we I did like the bloopers of him eat. I've never seen anybody eat on that show of him just chew eating and I like his yeah, and then him doing the squat, her saying that you have no no, but I don't, and then he goes, he goes him doing squats. He goes doing squats, lose your virginity, gotta get deep, gotta get deep. How's my ask? Like? Now? Jenny?

I was like, what's happening? What the fun? I did? Like when when she was like, do you have anything to apologize? She's like, I'm sorry, I was mad, And Chris Harrison goes he didn't hear the needles to comment, and I was like, my bad, Like, oh, Crystal Christal, I K I loved Harrison ended the blooper Real with him doing a blooper that wasn't a blooper. He was just like, I'm ending this. I'm going to be the

last shot of this thing. And he was like just been like, hey guys, because he's singled out and he feels like, I mean, oh, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know if he broke up with his girlfriend, but I mean he's no longer married. Maybe he's like putting it out there. Um, okay, I want to talk about I want to talk about um Tia him talking about he didn't make eye contact him saying he wasn't

terrify mated mistake. She's auditioning hard to be the Bachelor at Yeah, I think I'm sure they have, Like you're telling her like, look, you need to go in there, cries, show emotion and show that you're and show that you're ready. They really hype you up. Yeah. Yeah, and it's it's really didn't tell us for certain people like they need to because like they know if they don't speak up. So you guys, did you know before you went on? Did you guys know that you were? Oh? Yeah, She's

like so vocal. I'm like, what made it right? With Daniel the Eagle? The eagles landed the eagle. I'm an eagle and they're fucking pterodactyl. I'm going to the moon, but she's on the moon. You know, It's like, what what what this is? Is this Canada? What's happening? I don't know. I have to say though he was really good looking. He was. He's just very pale, but still

he's really pale. After leaving, it was like he got like I felt like he got he was hotter the first season I feel like he got more and more gone. He got like, man Oarexica. I'm like, I'm like, eat a burger Man, and you don't need to eat the scallops, have some iron, go eat like a meat taco. I loved his blind faith in bros. Though my best friend. He was also like very fluid. He was always like he was like, you know, I mean maybe I hooked

up with Dean over like he was. He was openly, like very fluid about like you know, you suck a guy, you fuck a girl like well for such a bro, you're kind of coming off his game and I like it, so they do. They're like, this is you gotta really stick your landing. You gotta like get your air. Caroline wanted who was thirsty for paradise last night? Caroline, who was that girl? Oh the afro? Yeah, who's giving the one who had the one who called out that made

me get on a slow plapfort Yeah. I was like everyone. Yeah. I was like, all right, whatever your name is, that might get you on there. He was great. Yeah, I still don't know her name. Great. Um okay, Becka m okay. First of all, before we get started, the people in the audience with a rotating eye masks that were never acknowledged. I'm sucking the rotating You didn't see, I'll show you. I know I saw people would like the mask. The mask. I'm like, because you know who he was, the kissing

bandit and they did the world. He was sexy. This. Yes, I jerked off to this for hours last night. How on the ah just rubbing it out? Look at that heard me on the age crying and look at though I don't know why that is somehow on the entire franchise one of the most shocking images I've ever seen, because that guy truly looks like a substitute teacher and with like a fucking sex mask on its absolutely sub rule. It was like random, like middle with the librarian. Yeah,

just let them play. I bet you they loved you. I bet they loved you. And my brother was in high school. Though it was awkward. Oh my god, so award him. She's saying, it's hard to watch. My character was put in question, and then it was that's the thing. I'm like, here, did be fair to her? Like she's twenty two. Some of the people are yes, like she wasn't the youngest, but I feel like she's making it bigger than to go behind her back, and was like

she's not ready now. Granted, we don't know if Becca was behind the cameras, like not interested in going for Instagram followers openly, Like you don't know that. I would feel like such a loser if I went on that show, like no one came for me behind my back. I feel like, you know, we could make a pack, we could go behind each other. But like, I think Brian is not here for the right I think for Tia,

it was just more she was really good. She was in love with this guy, like she's hearing this girl talk about boys back home, and he was like screw that ship. Yeah yeah, Like I'm in love with this guy. And he she also saw that he had like bone or fever for background. He was like razzled. But he'd been called out to be a little bit of like kind of like dating two young girls in the past, so I bet he had to be cautious about that. There was some like rumors that he was a little

bit of a they created a little bit. Okay, going back into my academia here she's saying, he I think he was insecure because he was too old for me, which I enjoyed. And then they did a Missing person the pot Farm. She went with friends camping, she slept with the baby. Chris Harrison said, I bet you did on that ranch, which I enjoy. Good one. Chris Harrison

really nailed at Christie. I'll tell us Chris Harrison probably like four A love the kidding four shade shot that I think he's like and is he I was in heal? Is he in keeping hels? But I like a cupe. You know anybody that I think is shorted to say it's for eleven. I wanted to think that Chris Harrison wears like like a man, like a mule, like like a healed mule. Actually, though I did look down at him a little bit. Was a weekend. He's a gardening ship.

He's got a toebag of her shoulder. He's out the door, says Chris Harrison. Do on the weekends? We need to know? It was like he hangs out of Malibu. He's got he goes to the book, he goes boogie boarding, Shimptoe, He's got his choice gardening toebag. He stops at Smith Talk and he gets a couple of bulbs to hand to the gardener to put him. He goes on. He masturbates for four hours. Chat said, are you just sit in your rob He watches like Old Rose ceremonies on

his robe. Yeah, like on Loop in his robe, doing mimosas like Joan Crawford watching Old Exactly. That's exactly what he does. Or is there anybody else that we want to talk about from last night? Is there anything else? Who do you think it's going to be the next patch? I do think it. I think there's a couple of girls in the running party. Who do you think after this surprise ending, we don't know what's going Who do you think? Who do you think is going to be

in the running? I think Tia and whoever dropped so? I mean I would be fascinated by Taxidermy. She interesting, She is very well spoken and it's always back at m though. I could see her maybe being Becka Kay, no way, which one girl? Young? Heir old young? Yeah, she's be great, but she's going to you know, all the other girls were, so she got that. She got them. Okay, So let's get to is there anything so you think Tia and who I think would be I love a

Southern accent. Listen to it. I wanted raven I, but although I do like Rachel to see and stand a chance. Oh so pretty. I'm doing an interview with Sanne tomorrow, so I'll give you guys all the count. She's so sweet, she's elegant. I just I don't know. I think she's great. I think she could for Paradise. I feel like you will feel like Cna and Tia might be my front runners for Hybe. Yeah, I agree, I think because they

have more personal Chelsea the mom what about Chelsea? But you want a girl that guys are gonna want tom so that they will fight like like Jojo, like somebody that bone her fever, I will fight to like just like be able to like make out like just go easy, she's so hot, or they might do some people from passons like Ari. You never know. He's my way back in the day that was that was a little too

far back. Great season though, exactly you know what put down that sender candle you're coming with, Do you want wooden balls in a bowl? That's exactly. He is a human equivalent of wooden balls in the Yeah, yeah, I bought myself some wooden balls and their name is aur How are you doing to him? Are you going to watch the full thing next season? Could you do more than four episodes of this show? Probably? Sure. I am shocked by you because it was only a few weeks ago.

She was like, this poison is in my blood. That's the thing you drank the cool like, you gotta come to Austin with us? Are you gonna come to Oustard? Okay, okay, great, great. Here's the other thing is, oh, we're building a website and is building it? Yea our artists Anna who learned to do photoshop for our crazy gas flyers. How fucking great are the flyers? Is amazing? She's building as a website. We just bought the domain rose podcast dot com. Nice sense.

Somebody wanted ten grand for will you at this road? Second? We're like, thank you for thinking I earn more than four dollars the year on my fucking whatever. Okay, so then we have here we go. Good, Okay, guys, here we go. We're gonna start at the end, and then we're we're going to start at the beginning. I just want to before we get going, before we get started, I'm gonna start this We're going into Winter Games now, so we're gonna shake it off, shake it off, shake

it out. We're gonna shake it, shake it goodbye. Let's go to the best show ever. And this is what I want to say, Anna, will you pull up for later? This song Conga by Gloria stefan Um. I want to say, fucking Bibiana, Babia, we're rooting for you. We're all rooting for you. Ana had a theory here and I don't. I don't want to steal it. Saince you're here, say

your theory. Fucking Babiana. I thought she wants paradise, so she's not gonna was that she was terrified of ice skating in front of like and then she was kind of aditive enough. Somebody sent me are precious fans like, send me ship. They sent me a thing on Instagram. Ten years ago, she was voted hottest cheerleader with the Dolphins. She was voted the hottest cheerleader in the end. I remember, dude,

I'm like, Babiana, she's hot. She was hot and she got but like, I was like, what the fuck, Anna think? What was your theory? Did Maybe it was like terrified of the of the always. I think it's both. Yeah, I like n of mittle kiwi was We're gonna okay? That was starting with that. I'm also starting with fucking Claire, the ultimate Nightmare. She's like the nightmare bridesmaid at your wedding. He's like, guess what, I got engaged, bitch, Like, I

can't like how a man like I gotta. I'm gonna upstage you like I'm gonna get engaged at your baby's birth. You know, like will you like I'm like the jumbo tron like today, will you? I'm like, I can't say. I can't okay t talking everything so cinematic, and I can't like monogues for days. We're gonna start at the beginning. We're going back in time, back in time. At the finale, we have Leslie and Dean. She said she's sad to leave, but I'm happy to leave here because I'm gonna leave

here with you. I like them as it coming to. I think she's so cute. I like looking at her. I like looking at her to her face is so cute, and I feel like we could be friends. I think she calls him out on stuff, which I like puts in his place. You know he needs that because these girls baby anymore de man guy. He's a diny guy. He's a deanie guy guy. But she just posted this last night saying that he's no longer a Genie baby, he's Adenie many because he gave him the key, right.

I like that. Okay, we have like five roommates. Please tell me he lives with Robbie. We call Robbie the Falcon because of his hair. We wanted we called the falcon. We call it doing the Falican. Does he live with the felon? Okay, so now you know the Falcon. Now you know the Falcon. Yeah, so there we are all sorts of like lingo. So he's a Falican. So we have um Jordan and Bibiana. They're cooking breakfast and she

was like, what do you make for breakfast? He's like pavlovas hi and I was like, and she was like mad about it. That's what she's like, that's a full first of all, that's a pavlova is a dessert. I was like, I was like, that's the first of all. That's not even New Zealan dish, Like isn't it like mange white and like strawberry. It's like meringue and berries and there, my mom, your signature dish in New Zealand. And he's like, it comes from Ita late, Like how

a signature dish there? It's as much a signature there as it is here. He is like, Jason, Jason, stay them standard Like he's like the standing it's like when you just go stand on the mark, Jason has to go use a restrooms going ten one, Jordan, can you just stand on that mark while you do lighting. I can't think of a bigger boner killer than talking to someone i'm dating about Brecat. She's like, I gotta go, oh, you're absolutely. I don't want to send that much time

selling eggs. Fine if he's embarrassed too. If I'm just starting to get date somebody, I need time in between to get my game back, you know, like in between is there any air conditioning in here? It is hot, getting hot. I don't take a strip of down. So let me have Stacy, Stacy, who I've fully fallen for. So she's hot up that tell like, oh, so she starts mocking Chris Harris Harrison who's walking up in the window through the snow drift and she goes, she's like

just trying to survive. Everybody's irish the way he's like just trying to survive, like pointing and laughing at Chris Harrison, which made me so happy. So that he announces that they have to do couples ice dancing, and he goes any questions and horny, horny Virgin Ashley. I goes, are there fantasy sweets? Chris Harrison. My one of my favorite lines goes, slow your role girl ONEI he clicked his

mules and he walked away. He put on his reading glasses, clicked his mules, put on the straw, put on linen pants, went out to the snow drift. He went. He built a hmself an eglowre Okay, I want to give him plentytoad golden slide mules that are like two inches tall. So then he's like five fo one, Oh my god, oh my god, and he and like beccat m to like run off into the sunset. Okay. So then we have Courtney, So then they have to go start doing

their choreography. Courtney, who's so cute, asks to throw in a kangaroo. Hop I hated that. I have to tell me, tell me everything. It's like, it's just like I don't know, I'm trying to think of what the American thing to throw in would it would be like, yeah, I think it's demeaning to his own culture, like the Kangaroo exactly.

It's like, I'm gonna bring out the Constitution. You should you should do an erotic an erotic sporatic slow a lootic strip tease, like an erotica thing that that ends with, like the declaration of Independence. I think Nikki Cage has a declation. Oh my god, she's she's a huge fear of mes Cage and she and she that's right, because

he's in, fucking he's in. He's in a doctor dr Abigail National Treasure and dr Abigail's Chase starring josh Or Jackson's ex girlfriend who played dr Abigail Chase Still and Merrick Tell married and josh Jackson were such a they fucked like rabbits. Know. It was what's your name? I can't remember anyway, Okay, she's afraid of Nicholas Cage and

she's dying at a pilgrim hat in her building. Last week, his girlfriend was not only did I see Nicolas Cage for the first time, just normal Nicholas Cage, who was terrified up. He was wearing the biggest Pilgrim hat I've ever seen in my life. And he's already so it's him, Nicholas Cage. He's like, he's no Chris Harrison. He's tall as how and it was terrifying. What the pilgrim because he didn't have his wig on whatever the funk is on his hat, which is so crazy. Yeah, all right,

he does have I think he got implants. I think that's what he got, like the plugs, and they didn't take except a few did. Yeah, Yeah, for understanding my fear. Not not not many people do. If I honestly, if I saw him on the street, I would be afraid that he would like, can my god, you found your you found your soul. How excited were you when you met Jasmine and all by the way, I like, I was excited that they were creeps out because echo so he still I wasn't here in this, you said too close.

We discussed this before because I know you're like this too. I could be a very socially anxious person. You know I have social anxiety. I was like a wait to introduced myself now or should I wait till we're in the room, And I'm like, but I'm literally ten inches away from their faces. Aould just say hi? Do you have social anxiety? Not really? I used to. I got over it. I was given to twenty five pound waited blanket for Christmas, which they give to stick kids to

calm down their cells. It works. I put it on and I want right, Yeah, it's like it's a problem is I'm like, it's it's there's there. You're supposed to only get one the ten percent of your body weight, so it's like having it's like somebody melted five bowl involved. I'm pinned down like I can't. So it's sort of soothing and sort of anxious. But so I would say, if you get one, maybe like a fifteen pounders, I think ten wouldn't be enough, Like I don't I think

you'd want that. But I felt like I felt like, how anxious do you think I am? You know what I mean? You say? You like you looked You're like, no, ten pounds isn't enough? That then can I get a twenty five pounds? She's really fucking anxious. That actually sounds amazing. I'm gonna tell you it's really I'll send you the tag you get an Amazon. It's really good. You don't need it. You it, it's really good. You just put it. I get Whole Foods. When I go to I get

Whole Foods. I get anxiety when I go to Whole Foods because I heard Nick File goes there, and like, I'm actually I just have that in my mind time I go that. Run into it. Of course, I don't know what. No, I get it. I get anxiety everywhere. Yeah, I get nervous. What would you do? What would you do? I'm getting that even just thinking about it. Let's just move on. You need to do a screen Stranger Danger, Stranger Danger, and then spend around three times Chris Harrison

clicked his mules and then grab his purse. And then you guys, just like you, just like spontaneously combust Chris Harrison to give him some yard to make a t You would have to take Texas s os and we'll confind you wherever you are. Well, you wait to blanket and I'll carry you out in a pepper. If you guys need to come save me, maybe I'll just faint and then we guys. Yeah, you know that. I'll be there with a way to blanket and I'll carry you off like a baby Bjorn, like my precious and my

precious side note you as a dolphin. Just the love. You saw that our our resident artist, Casey Runin, who made the art of you. Did you have? Remember we texted you it was so funny, texted he painted and I will send it to you. Oh yeah, oh my god, he painted my precious treasure. I mean that's where that's your safe space. You just pull that photo out of yourself and you just remember how good you look and

have the vials and everything. Side no, uh, side no, My precious Raven hasn't sent me a leopard dress yet? Is that? And my she's gonna is she gonna do that? Yeah? I sent it to her. Well, she's she's busy. She's gonna send me a dress, right, help may pick it out. They help, they pick it out, they help. Maybe I'm so excited. You have to come to Austin. You have to come to Austin. Everybody has to come to Austin. Come you know, Okay, this is not interesting. Go ahead.

What were you say? I like that everything I like not don't even say have a ton of family And for the rest of the podcast, yea, oh my god, creepiest family member. Who's your creepiest family member? Maybe my dad? Yeah, I had a really creepy sometimes my dad all the time, just as he talked so much, just like, damnit be other people. My dad had anybody? My dad asked a boyfriend if he was getting any in front of me, like,

it would have been hike me. It would been with me, with me, with me, like, it's like, what this is? Where you That's how you go into comedy if you're a lady. Creepiest family member my grandma U Boot. I call her grandma boot because she looks like anug boot and she's like four eight. I'm not even she looks like a tan boot. Actually maybe the short angle one. She needs mules, I need, I need a photo of her. Okay, creepiest family member probably me. Are you where are you from, Sammy?

What's your deal? From Colorado? We're Colorado Springs. I went to I went to CC. That is a weird town. I used to live like blocks away from CC. It's a weird school, weird town. Yeah, very religious. Oh yeah, it's like it's like Chris, right, Okay, who's your creepiest family member? Anna? My brother who's went to prison? W what what what did he do? I think he was an arms dealer. How about your dad who dresses kiss but her dad and his best friend dress identical every day.

They're pretty creepy too, because they're just an old persianman who are drunk all the time. Kind of though, who is your creepiest family member? My great aunt who she's not creepy as much as she's like, um. She always writes me notes saying that I shouldn't be gay, like writes me letters and then and then and then always mispells my name. She supposed with an I am with a brand. So I told her my time to go.

You know, it's with it's with the Y, and she goes, I think it's with high that's your that isn't how many you shouldn't be gay? Also, whenever she does something like that, and it truly fills my heart because it's just like, how does this even exist anymore? Every Christmas, Christmas, here's came early and he doesn't want you to be gay? Brie, Yeah, I like look forward to it. I'm like what's she's gonna write this year? And I should bring them in?

How long are they? Oh? Short? Like few sentences? Oh my god, Brian, have a wonderful holiday season. It is a choice. Can I have it next year? My dad when I was like on like, I've never taken money from my parents, and my dad when I was like a cast member on Mad TV, was like, this is when this all goes to ship. What are you gonna do? Like, are you gonna you should get an accounting? It's like dad, like my brothers. My brother is a startup, like I'm always I've never taken I'm on a show man like

I'm looking at you now. Yeah, I've got my podcast. Okay, okay, sorry guys. You know what when I'm out here to this is the podcast that lets you know you're not alone. If you've got a tough family member, you're not alone. It's her builds character. Okay. So they're in there, they're starting to do they're having to do their ice skating, ice dancing. Um uh okay, Bibby and Jordan's they were doing cat and mouse. She got real bossy with him.

She was very annoyed with him. She was just like yelling at him, and it was like, girl is in the house. I've felt her there because that is actually I feel like I would be like that. I just wouldn't show it. But if you like dancing with the stars, it was literally like yeah, you dancing any dancing dancing with the white people in a farm. But I mean it's getting annoying when you're with somebody can't get a routine down. You're like, come on, get it together. She

wants to win. Probably she wanted to win. She wanted to win, but I felt like she like he couldn't do read like he wasn't given here a knight pressure and then she's like, no, that's too hard. It's like she had already made up her mind, like I don't want it to come over it that that was the over. My friends have gotten divorced. It always ends with a meal right before hid I see them the meal like like like a month later though, like we're getting divorced.

There's like the final meal I have with them. It's just the vibe of this, you like, no matter what they order, like, oh, scallops, that's so oh, you want wine, Especially when you're first dating. It only takes one little thing, and it could be so mandy to turn you off, and then you can't get your moneys out, your grossed out. I remember this guy like started talking about diarrhea called diary syndrome, the ones it's over. It's like your diary syndrome is ruined. I don't ever want to hear what

you're fucking dia. I don't. I don't know that you ever. I don't know how an intestine. Okay, okay, so don't we have Dean terrified? He goes, I think Leslie and I are in a rocket ship and it's a full rocket ship, but we still need a plan. There's fuel in the rocket ship, but we still need to plan out our course for launch. I mean, rocket ships need a lot of planning to make sure the lunch at the right time. Overwhelmed, I know she's a good girl, but I'm dan baby. And then he jumped up and

hit his head on the sela. I just can't. He was freaking just a child, he was freaking out. What do I do? Help me? Yeah, Michael, just when he holds his mouth, it's like not anywhere he's sweetest can be. He's a little rascal. Let's put it this way. He was high as a kite when we did Outside Lands.

He was the only person we couldn't get in order to get your sucking money, Like we're reimbursing you for the money you've already shelled out for your airplane tickets, so we're like, we need your nine Like you've already paid the money, so we're just trying to give you your money back. And he looked at the lady who was doing he goes, she's like Dean, Dean trying to focus, was the only one that didn't send it. She was like, just signed here, and he was what even is a signature?

And as we're like, wow, that's what happens when you're Dan. You know what, he's the hottest guy at school who's just on, like fucking taking he went on Paradise. I thought, I was like I had eyes for Dean. And then he started talking and then he was building a sand castle and I was like, definitely not remember he was he was building a sand coustle. Is this guy here you isn't really good at doing your makeup? Can I

just say you guys are on point? Was it hard in the house and in Paradise to keep your face and your look together for that long with the girl that knew how to do the make up. So I made her to who knew how and Dominique and Dominique, Yeah that's good because I bring makeup right now, I look like asholets on Judgment. Now you dozy? Do you put them on? Or do you get fake ease? Fake ease? Individual? How long did they last? Like three weeks? Did they

hurt your lashes? I don't know. I haven't seen them in three years. I haven't my lashes in three years. Should I get some? Okay? I love it. I love anything. I want you to get them, like snuffle up against so dramatic. But by the end on Paradise, some of the some of the girls came in, it was almost like Paradise was almost like there was like like late that were like burlesque fan brush them, brush them right? She was she on your season. No, she's pretty, lady

is really pretty? Okay? So then we have baby yelling at Jordan's. We have Courtney and Lily. Okay, So then we're back at the house Courtney and Lily, They're like, let's go on the hot type. It was so I loved this snow angel they were. He just shows you how good like I feel like every Australian or New Zealand kiwi I need kiwi. Mean, they're just like always on, like around the world, party constantly, like one I rick around the world there on around the world for one

year on a party. They just get drunk and and they just they just fly around the world for one year. And so they did snow angels in the blizzard and they had were wine goblets that were bronze, so they were cheersing with and then they were it was burned when he got at and then it stung and then they kissed. And she says, you just this mutility. Get ready, everything has everything had, everything has said it has to

have a ship side to it. So babe, everything good has to have a ship side to I like her, like, I like I like her. I love that they're fun. He kind of reminds me of that, And I've really never seen the show, but he reminds me of that woman who's on episodes. Yeah, woman, Lady's aig. It just happens to look sort of like the British Lady did not mean it an instant Anna, will you pull up the British lady that episode. Okay, So then we have so then they have Bibby and Jordan. Here we go.

So then she goes. He goes, things got hivy between me and Bibby and we need to have a conversation about which we were going to go after this. And then she goes, let's go upstairs. You exactly your heavy okay. So then they go upstairs and he goes, when I went through my show, I was there's this terterrible experience. Very much want to be with you after. I totally want to pursue look at the Irish and then Bibiana puts her hands in her face. My friend Nanny Gordon,

he texted me just in capital letters, fucking Bibion. Because then then she goes, I just she was the way she communicated. I don't think I'm in a place to answer this right now. I need a place to process. And then he goes, and then she's like, okay, okay, and then before he hugs her, he goes, before he goes at the door, I am so so sorry this happened,

and she goes, why are you saying sorry? You? She goes because I am the catalyst that's brought this on and she freaked out and she goes, I need time to process. I can't give you right now. She goes to Ashley I She's like, Jordan is everything I ever wanted? What is wrong with me? And then he goes downstairs and starts frantically cleaning, and Kevin's like, hey, there used to cleaning up, big guy? Oh Gary therapeutic when yes, stack something? Yeah, I really need to see it through. Yeah.

I was like, are you sure you're talking about the dishes? There? My friend? All right, Sammy, what did you think? Oh my gosh, there she is. There, there's a British city from episode I can't even corn corn Corn. I love you. I love your chemistry with Mount la Blanc. I love your chemistry with Mount La Blanc. Is very good looking, and so is she. She's a very handsome one. I'm a very handsome Okay, wait, Sammy, what did you think of the meatball babies? Freaking out? I have a confession

to make. I wasn't able to watch the finale. But what you have? It's Monday, you've been working a lot. Are you gonna watch it? I watch it, but I wanted to I wanted to get the ree cap here because it's the best place. Okay, all right, all right, what did you guys think, are Anna, what did you think when the meatball was like being so fucking crazy? She I love her, I love her. So we love Viviana too. She's so great. By the way, Arne fully named the meatball and not mean it was because she

loved her. She she don't move like that's when she put out the bed and she didn't stand up for herself, and she was like, that's she's the mateball. She was like ready to fight, but she had said she had a sense of or she's definitely a virgo. You know, it's like, this is the line, the line. Isn't she waiting the line? It's not you're turning to my friend

bed Anna. So you love Viana, But how did you feel when her communication was really tired of I should she should have just dumped him, and like, I'm just not here for you. Sorry, I love this is fun, but we're not. This is I'm not gonna marry was the one driving me crazy. I just feel like it was clear she needed space, yet she couldn't breathe, she said a fifteen time she could not breathe. He was just like I was just why she didn't breathe though. It was a lot like I just like a roll man.

We want my way to blanket girl. What'm gonuna lie on you, I lie on you. You just calm down. Yeah, here's my way to blanket. Just make a sucking sugar egge breathe. I'm like, just tell me you don't like him, dude A big deal? Yeah, yeah, you're right. She couldn't breathe. He wouldn't leave her alone. It was just like, what is going on? It's also like, bro, you should have He was like maybe I should have waited tomorrow. I was like you, thank yeah, you wait till tomorrow. You

got one more day, bro, just fucking wait. It just what if? I just know that, like if when you feel like a caged animal, no situations, and then you're like all I need is for you just to give me five minutes and then one minute later they come back. I would have flawed his eyes out. And I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but like I would have gone nuts. Yeah, Oh my god, I love that Now I want to act that out. I'm like I know I want to act. Okay, here's an acer Leslie, Leslie,

do you hear about this? By the way, she got taken down today, Leslie. For all your Leslie con up dates, go to Rose podcast. What happened? What happened? Someone recorded her in a class and she was telling a white Jewish woman to um and at least mentioned that because they kept talking about it too, that she looks Latin enough to where she should like change her name to Rosa Ramirez and you like, it was bad. Oh my god. You know what. I knew a girl who did that.

I knew a girl I will not name it. I'll tell you afterwards who was Jewish who changed her name to a Latin like and it was like, wait, you're not And she was like the Latina. I was like, yeah, that's not. That is something that could come around and bite you in the aspect. She also said something like

maybe look our meaning, but it gets you nothing. And she goes and maybe it gets you, maybe you're maybe you're Jewish, but that no one cares, you know, well, at least that, Oh my god, I'm from Norway and Sweden gets me nowhere. So then we have okay, So then we have, So then we have um Jordan's I just he feels like sh They're crying, they leave, everybody's leaving. So then she's like, it was just extremely selfish of me to try to hold on, but it feels so good. Okay,

so they're gone. Ashley I is in crazy makeup and they get ready to go. She had some weird jean jacket. They're going to go to their ice chanting. Chris Harrison is near and his mule for this tough on the ice and he says this stuff is slicks can be careful, and they have ice skating legends. Nancy Carrigain Tie, The Corpse of Tye Brandy Gardner. Oh my god, rand with his jazz hands all day. I want his own series where all he does this make faces. I felt like

I was watching like a Christopher guest character. Was that from like waiting for Goffman? Is Brandy Gardner like like like white magician glove, like like you know, like like he should have had like a monkey on her shoulder. And then okay, then we have like ty babular Reddy Gardener. So then okay, so Ashley and Kevin they're getting nurse he's really competitive. He busts his knee about and all the guys have to wear like the outfit that you were going to kill yourself in the peerage. They have

to were like satin blouses. Dean put on like the liquid like that he let her do that. I like them as a couple that he let her do it. So Kevin busts his knee and he's so competitive and he wants to win. And then he and then so Ashley I was like, he's the best, I'm the worst. I I want to win for him because he's really competitive. Have and uh, that's what And then you think she was and then she's like, there's got to be something I can't try about. Dean says, I've got one speed

and it's go, and I just definitely what sets me fast? Baby, he's beautiful, Definitely, I have one speed and that's Banannah. He's so beautiful. Um. So they have their said So then they have their's Kevin and Ashley I they started they've got their sensual ice dancing routine. Oh oh my god. We didn't even fucking discuss Did I miss it? I missed it. We didn't talk about the fantasy sweets happened before them, right before Okay, after the prac let's talk

about this for a second. I'm sorry. You cannot talk about your virginity for four years on television and then have a hot fireman who's brave enough to take that hymen on and then blame it on us. I agree. I'm waiting for this, so America deserve to know he talked about it. We needed it. We has been a heartier we. It's like we needed it, we needed something. Nothinging it off. Fuck, you cannot talk about it for that long. You get, you get brought to this cute cottage.

You've got like you've got the guy from Mask, You've got the fire, You've got the guy. You've got this sevenhead Keevin had James Marsden. That is like, I'm gonna do this. I'm a man enough to take you down, and that acts alky like like I needed that. Of course they did. I mean I don't know, we don't know. They had to have take Coe's. I would be so scared. I mean I think I did, Actually I did? You did? You did? I was a lot of pressure, No, not

at all. We did. Like four years I worked with an adult virgin at virgin who shall remain nameless, I'll tell you after I worked at an adult virgin who was such a nashally who cried all like cried all the time, could not stop crying, like and then at that point it's like like we all knew she was an adult virgin and at a certain point, like and your thirties, you know, it's like, dude, so that at that point you gotta just get and I feel like she found it just was like I think she just

didn't want to have sex. Like I think at a certain point she just did not want to have sex. She didn't get married. I'm sure it happened once or twice, but it's like, dude, I don't know. I mean, I here's the thing. If you're super relosed like I, I understand people have emailed and they've got an upset. We have some listeners who are virgins have gotten mad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but it's the show just because if you're shore, you doing four years and then do it like give

it to us. Maybe I should hang out with more virgins because I feel like I don't know what the right or wrong thing to say. Well, you're I feel like you're an asshole if you say, like you're a virgin. Yeah, you know, Andy. I have to say I did like her on after the Rose saying that she actually did help. I mean, I don't know where her dating history. I guess for me, it was more like I don't want

to know about any of your actual sexual activity. Like I know somebody here's something that is equally annoying to me. I know somebody who cannot stop talking about the fact that, like they have an open room. It's like, I get it, you're a like I don't want to know about anybody's relationship at how often they fun. I don't want to know, Like I don't want to know, like I don't care what you do, but like, don't stop telling me all

the time when you have a question about it. Not that I'm taking you, but then you get like screamed down. You're always you're talked about it, You're always bring right. You can't can't bring us because it's also I feel like we were happy for her because we were rooting for her. She did wait it out, She got a nice guy and Canadian bacon. By the way, they seemed legit happy, and I kept getting more and more attractive to me. Shirt yeah, and he got confident and I

like they legit had chemistry. Like on the ice, it was like, actually the sexiest dance she seemed like I loved at the end when she was a cry, well if I did feel like they built this show around Ashley. I I was the entire series. There was no way she was gonna lose. This was we're gonna get Ashley. I had a guy. We're gonna make her the winner. She's gonna lose her virginity. She's gonna get a spin off show. I feel that to her. And Kevin's there

and seven seventh. Kevin's exactly seven. It is just going to be some seventh Ashley, Kevin Stevens Kevin it was. It's gonna be weird though, because she's lost of virginity. I'm sure it's gonna be a different Ashley. She's when she started to cry and he was like up, smile, smuth, smile, smileth smrow like he was actually good with her a little. It's like focus, focus, here's wait, where'd you way to blanket?

Where'd you way to blank Okay? Also that beautiful shot of her trying not to cry while they were hugging, and it was just her, Oh my god. So then we go okay. It was interesting to me that only the non American girls were like, I accept the fantasy streets like, like me that both so we have both Courtney and um uh Courtney and you're so cute. She was like, basically they confess that they were in love with each other, so excited and he was like, I know you didn't do that. Are you going to sleep

in different rooms tonight? And she was like, yes, we are, and I just I liked that. Yeah, I like that. Finished to say no really, She's like, I'm gonna bring you exactly. You know you're going to Poundtown. But I thought she wasn't ready yet. I guess that's for me if you're listening out there and you were like, I look, I can't do this podcast worry about people are offended because it's a sassy podcast. Let's be real, But like, I think that's what it is. It's like either do

it or don't do it. But like Lily, Lily might be a virgin, but she's not dragging us through all you like. I also loved that Stacy Okay, when she goes, what do you see? I see you. If I have love of my life, I will follow him. I want to love and be loved to the last days of my life, to my last breath. Now you know that, and then I know I will be to look in

my mother's eyes. Don't be stressed right now. I would be ashamed if I looked at my mother's eyes if I go home with you and she's like, don't be stressed right now. Don't be sad. There's no last day of everything. You can have it on your own terms when you feel comfortable with it. UM more important for me that you are happy and comfortable. Are you happy? I'm happy now. I want to be sure I can take your heart right now. I want to take care of your heart. That motherfucker I know Luke what he

has a girlfriend? Did he have a girlfriend the whole time? He was dating some girls still? And I guess she's okay with it because he's in Hollywood and he's getting I was so pissed when he was like, yeah, like everything she was set at the t and she was He didn't know that that was gonna be yeah, that was so he was just feeding her lines and I'm like,

what exually right through it? He also like we'd heard from people like like you know, we we've heard from our other pals on the franchise that he was kind of gross and like and like like and that he wasn't treating women well or like that he wasn't a good guy. And that's like and I actually feel like BBC showed, hey, this is why you have this is why you were the bachelor, motherfucker, and this is where you guys got at it. Like Peter didn't want to do it. This is why you guys got ay because

he did it to himself. Yeah, it was a psychopath like kind of scared me. It was like he just shut. He just shut. He wouldn't even look at her. That one is so painful, my heart. She was so sweet and she was so like the camera cameras weren't rolling yea from the distance, but she was like literally like say something to me, like what happened? Oh, she goes, hi, I'm stoci, nice to meet you. And then and then and then she was like was I unconscious when you

said that? And she like he was. She was like, you know, he went back to life. She was like life is not easy. You didn't even try real life, it doesn't work. And then he was like, um, she was like, oh you're a ghost man. And then um, you missed the part where you all broke up. It was just it was just you didn't even look at my eyes. I don't even want to try. It was just so oh it was honestly, it was like dangerous. It's like he's just a total user. She was so sweet.

Didn't care as a friend, just not even what Dan. Just as a friend you would think. He was like, look, I don't wanna be with you. I live in America, so you have to say, yeah, nothing exactly. I believed him. I did too. I believe because he's so good at feel like real moment. That's what I actually felt, like, Oh here's this guy. Look I'm willing to forgive it.

Like if like I'm like, maybe he's been a player. Okay, So you come off of the show and you have a lot of ladies, Okay, like whatever, if you want to have a text a lot of lads, that's fine. But maybe here he is, he's in a new setting, he's surprised, he's connecting with this woman. They both have this heart thing. I actually felt like he was falling in love with her, and I was really I felt so bad. He's so brood, he's a liar, he's dangerous, and it was scary like how he was. Yeah, it

was just I didn't like any of it. Yeah, I didn't even and I listened and then he did. He went on a podcast US or something tense or like I don't care. I don't buy it because he was like the American hero. It's like, you don't get to be both, like like you don't, you can't. You have to be respectful, like you can't play off like you're this really good guy. Because he was so sweet on Joe Joe's He's playing up this whole Anna Anna here we got He's got dead eyes, sharks, shark guys so scared,

nothing's there, no soul. I'm like, oh my gosh, this guy scary as hell. Um, so then we have we have Okay, we'll talk about Dean and Leslie. That was sweet. We had her. She was nervous. It was her double mistectomy mistectomy mostectomy. She had a boyfriend. She hadn't been with anybody since. Um, it was nerve racking. We've never been together and then she was like, I look in the mirror and I think I look good and that's

all that matters. And he was like, I look at you, and I've known who you are from every from a very early stage. And what drew me to you as your courage and your strength. And I saw my mother go through it. Any guy who thinks less of you for this is someone who doesn't belong in your life. You are the strongest, stronger than any woman I have ever met in my entire life. Uh, I know. And

then Leslie says, um, my boyfriend, my girlfriend. That was sweet, and all of the fantasy sweets I felt right like. I liked the ladies saying I love you, but I'm not ready, and I loved the ones that we're ready. It all felt That's why I actually really liked this show in Paradise, because people get a little more time with each other. You don't feel like you have to go to win. There's not somebody else trying to steal them.

At that point, I liked it. It was sweet. Um. Then we get to Ashley I and she goes, this was cute, such a catch. You're the only other, the only guy who's ever made me feel desired and sexy but at the same time respectful. I get that good. I was always like the silly girl, like the like the funny friend. And it's like I always almost felt like the neutered court just around like the hot girls, and like to have a guy that you actually feel like it's hot for you, like you can tell he's

legit hot for her. She needed that, you know what, I want to know. That's why it was so good. Get ahead of it, Ashley. If she just told us, just say it once like yet, ye, get ahead of it. Actually, I could never imagine three years ago that we could be having this conversation everyone. He says, why would she wait so long? Ashley? I? Um, she, why did you bring out the virgin He brought the virginity? And then she says, I want girls out there to know they

could find somebody like you. It just seems like worth it. I just eat that blank, get an a pillow right now. Oh my god, God, this is my life to work you guys, And that's why I'll be homeless by March because they've they've been having like ten hours of programming right fucking right out every day. I know that was good that she said it that way. I wonder how much of that is actually true, but like, but good that she said it. I guess, yeah, you still can

you say that? And then we thank you for not being scared of it, for being a man, a real man that is ready. And then somebody says, I'm totally ready to take our relationship to the next level. She said in her weird jog brat and palazzo pass, like that's what you want. I've got a jog brawn pelazzold is the less actually I wear, Yeah, but she looks

like lingerie to Rosa permonies. If you throw on like a jog at that point, you like even wear like bondage dresses and now you put out your fucking like yeah, your gap fit to go like like what like what I don't got to like we might need to give her just a sexy makeover of like the pre the pre game out she goes from the neck up. That's what she's worried about. Obviously she's an amazing body and all that. I didn't mean to No, no, let me have so let me see that they didn't sleep together

lilies in bed. The next morning, Corney is throwing snowballs at the window because I'm being romantic by throwing things at your window. And then somebody says and he's like, check me out on the season finale of episode showtime you can get free on Amazon. Um, then we have, and then Dean says the truth is I'm falling in love with Leslie. And then Ashley I says we talked so much, but we decided to keep it private. Go funk yourself, thank you, okay, so that she goes after this,

we can take my virginity off the table. Bub I can't um okay. So then they start dancing. Everybody's dancing before. This show is so great they bring out this. There's no way that little girl's name is for Nola Cream. The local Student Games. I feel my bones on crying, I said, PRIs said in mule clogs on I Scary is done, so that we have what I want to say, though, that show has learned nothing in its brief time. The Winter Games in its brief time again and an entire

audience of just white people. All it just white people. Scary closed the game. Yeah, it's just right. They needed to, like, you know, spend a little extra money. I know, keep the about it was like the Arian race. Antibi was like yeah, and do you have this song called up? Like here's the thing. They were in the Norris Kingdom there in and get out. There's no black people like maybe Bassa chooses. Did you know what I think? The feeling that anybody could have controlled the Asians in there?

No yeah, no no no, literally it was not really like being in Like it wasn't Germany any chance, it wasn't even anybody Dan my entire extended family. She would just come off a carnival cruise like if it's like I hadn't exced a family was so happy to have a free Olympic a carnival cruise. Look like they just came off a carnival cruise and like there was no son. We wanted to point out that, um, when Bibiana was on, it was not only was it so racist because it

was so white. Every time Bibiana came on and she was she was rollerblading in her white bathing suit. This was playing song. Was it unreal? Every time? Every time? Every time and he's us, oh, oh my god, yeah, she's like yeah, she's right, let wow, we get it. Yeah. But for also white people. Did they do the same songs they get like, yeah, they just back the tame back here to watch after your Heart. Yeah, she's spicy, love it. They need the United Nations to watch this show.

They do it again? Do what give notes on it? Because it's outraged. Leslie can't Leslie cons not invited, not just sorry, Leslie. Is my third time on the podcast and my third time talking about I guess I'll never be taking Thank you so much and it's always stay guys. I have no idea who she's an active better for it. I get you here. And I kept saying that Becca m was her star pupil. She could like hit her marks and find her camera angles and like whenever her

cut she was always right. Beca was so good, she was so good her camera shot. She knew how to find her mark and cry when she was listen to cry. Show different ranges like number one people. It's truly and by the way, finally, fucking Chris Harrison attempted to speak Japanese to the person who speaks Japanese. We found out that there was less international people because of the truck travel. Yeah, okay, yeah, isn't that shocking okay, so then we have they started

dancing for Finola Cree. All the whites did in my family's having a late time got my Yeah, I mean my my aunt hild Up, my uncle, great aunt, my grandfather was Lars was there, Okay, so we have, um, we have. Christian was in the audience watching you have like the boy. So then they started. I have to say, I feel like, considering the only person who could skate was Kevin, I feel like everyone did a pretty good day.

It hurts to fall. I really think Kevin fucked up his So then everybody I have to say, Dean had a cute ass in his skating outfit. He doesn't cubs. So then they were doing they did their little routines or kangaroo hop in their wrink and the judges made you mad. Randy Randy Gardner was like all jazz hands. He was going crazy. Randy Gardner could be such a hit in Paris if you were a mind, like I feel like ready for you know what I mean, He's

like ready for his exactly. It's like the woman that was at the end of the date that that Ari had with the most boring Lauren b And then there was like the lady playing was like the woman and like the Peter Pan off on the guitar playing and like that was like that's what Randy Gardner was who was talking about the Peter Pan outfit that you didn't like that you were texting you. I was saying her outfit at the boots, Peter Pan, it was it was I thought it was like nineties gruns. I don't know

what I was thinking. Nineties. I think a haircut just remind me of Peter Pan. Okay, so I wasn't charge. All right, you do your thing, so then we have um, then they lose, and then Dean goes. I've never I've never been jealous of something I'm so bad. I've never been judged as something I'm so bad at, which I thought was really funny and um, welcome to every class. Trust me. We know you don't know this, but our dear friend over here is an athlete. Yeah. I wasn't thinking.

I mean I was. I don't want to say it, but alexis as an athlete, she's captain, she's a good scared, she's a kick ass scared. She's an athlete. It didn't hurt your hand. I broke my wrist, but you kept playing through it. You look cute in your short. Can I just say I know I followed both on Instagram. Oh yeah, that's hard down. Were you team were? You must have done team sports. I did a track. I could do that. That's a team sport. Do you have

any athletic ability? Note right, No, I was forced because I was forced to grow up in New England. You have to do something. So but we were none of us. We were all indoor cats. I played tennis skirt. I like this girl, but I didn't really have I don't have the eye of the tiger. Guys I like, I mean, I like like the I like like a dodgeball, but

I would always be like nailed by the ball. I just tell you how racist it was, or like how back in the day where I go, I just want to hear how awful you guys are younger than me. In Massachusetts, they called dodgeball in my school smear the queer. One person was the queer, and then he get smeared and he just heeled them with balls. That was my lifetime. That was a school game, kid, That was a school game. Checked up. Your grandmother was my pet. She fighted every

day it was another name. It was like, I'm like, but it's like it's a choice. That was how she always ended the game as a choice is not wrong. Okay, So then they have blah blah blah they won. Oh my god, I'm a bachelor's success story. She said the fantasy see round two tonight. Don't say that and not tell me what it is. Don't you dare say that? Um Dean says he walked away with the best prize of all. I mean, that's cute. And then and then

we have Lily and what's her name? They're going to rent a caravan and drive to that and then um okay, so then okay, so then we're after the final Rose. Yes, okay. So overall, I think it was a very successful show. I hope I bring it back. Any notes for ABC and better like competitious, right, I mean two Asians off? Yeah, like it was literally yeah right. It was first Garrick and Lord they were the first episode. Yeah, and then

I had tried I mean, did she threw up? I mean, I mean I can minimum in an audience of Hunger. I was like looking around and everybody was white. Dude, They're all white. They're all like, it's usually middle aged white ladies and a jewel top top and je definitely. But the girl that was wearing a short cross and my thing was Asian, but she was covered off. You were like, leave note tracings horrifying. It's it's not like for I mean, let's be real. Last season, Rachel was

the bachelor such a more. I was like, oh, thank god, I just hope it's want to think where they like checked it off. Lord, please let's see him be the bachelorette. But I fear she won't be. I fear it won't be. I fear it's too soon. I fear it. Maybe I bet the next time it'll be. But you know what, then they need to get they need to get a black guy to go far to then make him the bachelor, which would be hot or not. No one who knew the exactly true that. I was just thinking Eric was

a great He was. I mean, he was like, he was so sweet? Are you and Eric? No? I don't. I don't see him being the bachelor. I can, you know? I to. He's too motivational all the time, too much for literally, I feel like you need be quiet. Yeah, yeah, you need to be a little but I love Caitlin. I gotta say we all started with Katel, so I guess we're rooting for Kendall. Then she would be the most Orbecca m would both be spicy, but but they're

not going to be it they may. Kendall would have been an amazing you would have been you would laughing there as you know, when I was out the first night, I would be like, get yeah, right right. The first night would have been the last night. So honestly, I would have loved to be a contestant, but I would have folded it on myself. I wouldn't have I wouldn't have the eye of the tiger. I would have panicked

over packing. I would have picked the wrong outfit out of the Literally I would have gotten out of that limo and be like, is everyone seen? The disaster would have fallen apart. You remember when we were just saying, like how you notice something once? But Briana what Jordan's was like she noticed something once and she's just like done. That's how I felt when Nick he said a joke and it just stuck with me throughout the season. There was two jokes. The joke he was just like who else.

He's like someone was getting a little us and he was like, oh, somebody's jelly and I was like jelly, Like so what was your moment of turn off? You're on the cat whatever that boat was, and he kept doing his leg. He's like, come on, Jazz, you're not gonna look at me kind of like, I'm like, no, I don't drunk, Okay, okay, So then we have a Babyana. I'm always take away as a positive experience. Ali had a long snog um Yuki. I found Ben is my best friend. I love you. What happened at with that

he a bachelor? I'm like he's getting lose their minds and they become the bad is a curse. I always say. I feel like the people who become the Bachelor, they overthink it. They're like, oh, there's just like no one's thinking about nobody cares all he cares like I feel like Nick has folded in on himself. They just I hate people who also think they're smarter than they are. And he's that Yeah. I think Ben Higgins think he's yes, and he's so earnest trying to be a good god.

It's like it's like, do something that. So then we have Corney and Lily. I'm not the pro type of person who can figure ship out so easily. So we got in the car and we drove to l A. But here's a bum me out there moon l A. Yeah, like why so it's like, don't chase the chase the Instagram dream. Don't I see him doing that? She just seemed above that to me. Yeah, I didn't like that. It made me sad for them. I'm like, you're better than that. Do the Australia around the World part. It's amazing.

I can see them on that. They'd be great and amazing. Right, So then Dane shows up with this American flagbow tie and that was a low point for me. I don't know why it's discussing because we're not going to political, but we're in the wrong hands right now and that ship's triggering. Now. Yeah, it's just like, what are you happy about? Some boat? I away? Put down the boat,

I walked away, walk away from the bowtie. And then they go this isn't unlikely couple and he goes, well, she approaches every situation with wide eyed enthusiasm, and then he goes, you know what, I do love you, and I want you to know that. Will you accept this key to my house? Do you think she was pissed, like where's my ring? Or do you think sheet down? Yeah? Give it? And then again, yeah you're pissed. I don't think he'll be pissing. No, yeah, it was too sad.

Do you think she was relieved? I think so? Okay? Also, what do you think ring she wanted to ring? Yeah? I think I actually wanted she wanted the ring. I think she wanted the ring, of course, But I really do like them like I liked and I'm reading for them. I'm ready for them. And also I think having a positive outlook and being whatever he called her like, I don't know, an optimist. It's hard to be that kind of person and also a cool person, and I think

I love her. Um Stacy says that Luke doesn't have her number. What a debt she just have been devastating. Can you imagine you're like waiting, You're like, oh, maybe he'll get from production and then like nothing, Okay, he there's Instagram always posting to find her through a DM. It just didn't add up to me, Like Luke, I don't know what he like expected to go back on the rose, and like, what would he like? You didn't talk to her? What do you think? He was just nothing?

Who's his girlfriend? What does she do well? The girl he was dating on what they're still dating? She works, but she works like a wine or something like that. I feel like she's like a future cast member of Big Little Lives. Like she's really pretty, she's really nice. I meant her, she's really sweet. So I'm Luke here too. Was look at the party that you were at, to know, the Twitter party? Yeah, you're right? What is she doing with him? Maybe she saw this? Maybe she just fell

far too. I fell for what he was saying to her. I believed him, but I'm also gable. My heart is with her on the vineyard. So then Ashley I and he said, she took me for cheeseburgers in Champagne. He took her to see Tom braiding, and uh, tom braiding, Tom braid. That's hard, wrote it, Tom brading, tom braiding. Um okay, So then let's get to it. This mother bucker, Claire. I mean, what did she say? What it was the last week? What did she say last week? Give me

a break, dude. It's like Claire Claire. She's like, Claire's in love, I'm in love. She's such a fucking drama green queen. She's like, I've always wanted a man who wouldn't give up on me, and he puts up with my crazy. It's like I feel like she just felt like, how do I upstage these winners? You know, like I've always wanted to man's like in this crazy and he tipt to me. He's like, Clare, are you okay? And I'm like, it just went on. You were running to

fucking do your Claire. It fully reminded me of like I didn't get cast on this as US, so here's my monologue. It was just like I don't remember what she said you as Claire, you are the strongest women I have ever met in my entire life. I would be beside you. You could just see in her head

being like shut a tear. Yeah, it's like the build up you remember my grandma, just like just she's like and then she's just crying, and then it went on and on and just like and then they all just swarm and then the corpse of Neil Lane brought off the fucking ring and then like she had to like everyone had just sort of surround her and like, look at her fucking ring. She is she won? Yeah, she won.

She's been waiting for this. Damn on the They built the show for Ashley I, and she upstaged Ashley I definitely because Ashley I wouldn't give us a virginity and she didn't get the ring. How many times do you think she's watched that clip today of herself making all those speeches. Oh my god, she hasn't left yet. Harrison and their mules and their robes and their champagne and Chad is nearby texting angry and their me juicing off

and she's just staring it's TV, being like alone not watching. Yeah, un while she's I feel dead for because he is crazy enough. He is stage five Clara. He is the one that was like the fact that he got engaged to clip. He got engaged to her. Literally he's only spent like four days with her and made out three times exactly. She was like, he was like, did I miss the last for one to three? Five? Five? Wait? I was there for one and two? Where were three?

Four and five? He got he wanted, he wanted clear for the whole rest he's crazy enough. They're not gonna stay married though that will never last. That will never last, right, I don't think so, But I mean Claire, she wants this so bad. Go to these two. These are two great finales. Though these are two great seasons. I mean, that was a great season. It is eating all my time and I'm sure my auditions are tonight, but I'm like, I love that. I don't know what the twist is.

I can guess because I'm not a ding dong, but like, I don't know who is in the I don't know which the final twister ruse are. I'm so enjoying what started off as such a boring season, and I so enjoyed Winter Games. I enjoyed Games to the second episode. I was kind of but I gave it a chance. Yeah, and I liked it too long for me, I can't oh trust and that it's all so much, so much. But we get a break soon. We get a break soon. Here's the thing, and that it's paradise. Will you guys?

Can I have bacherette? First bachelor friend? We get new guys? Guys? Um, can I just tell you here's the thing. As an adult, maybe you make maybe make one friend every two years. I have to say. You three me more to me than anyone in my life. You are my new friends. I like all of you, so close with you. Will you come to Austin for real? Yes, we're gonna put you on the You're gonna be there, It's official. Are you coming to Austin? Will you come to Austin? Maybe

one of the dates it's for twenties, it's moontower. When again, I'm like trying to hound them to give me the actual date, but it will be one of those days. Okay, there, It is so fun. Four seasons, just so you know, so I don't go through over here. She's sliding into d M. She's sliding. You have to help Rob. Rob was like five Instagram followers, you can, you can help him. But I'm also just thirsty too. We're all thirsty. I'm like, please follow me and you see my halo top that

I got last night? What's that? I got a power? Yeah? I love. They set me a pyramid of of halo talk. Let me see, let me see you love thank you so much. We're like exactly exactly hot roommates. Who are your roommates? Nicholas Cage, Nicky Cage. Well, he's basically member me too. He's always there, Nicky nick Fail. I'm your roommate on the Hollywood. So yeah, of course, do you rub it one out last night? Yeah? We did, We

went out last. I rubbed it out last night when I was watching the guy with the with the path on that chute teacher and the sea of middle aged women and jewel tops, and I see the substitute teacher in a mask. There is nothing. I see Chris Harris and his mules, and I every audience just came out of fifty shades bread like, every single looks like they took a fan there. And the after show it is the ladies and the guy who's like, does this make your horny? No, take the fucking mask off, Mr Anderson.

Will you guys help me pick tweet the week? Okay, these are from Anna. I'm bad at reading them, so will you give your best comic reading? So? Um, I want you to. There's this one has two is a two parter, but so there's five and then we voted down to two and then we both yeah, so that's a two part of the Okay. This is from Elena Malle. She says Arden. I think Ari should be submitted for

Tweet of the Week, and here's what already said. The only thing that kept me from expressing my thoughts on Crystal until now was a five million dollar n d A and lots of wine. Yeah that's pretty good. Yeah, that's gonna like that. What do I do now? I swiped, swipe left as if you want to fuck me? Oh not that. Okay, this one's from Lazy Joe. Tonight was one of the hardest nights for Ari because he had to use his words, which are a few, and not

his lips for kissing. Okay, okay, okay. Alison H. Stewart, after Nick and Raven's fantasy sweet date, The Bachelor put together a montage that included leaping, skipping, and reindeer kissing. I can't wait for Ari and Lauren's montage, which is sure to include book keeping, flossing, organized dead Pandlora said. Chris Will admits that she was wrong or problematic just as often as Taylor Swift does, which is never tag your basic at Lacy Joe. I've had time to realize

Ari and I were not, She's quoting. I had I had time to realize that Ari and I were not meant to be. Translation for what Sienna saying, I've had time for the Stockholm syndrome to wear off. Okay, all right, okay, good, all right, We're gonna do the dump a lot on Malk. I think our junior should be I submitted for the tune of the week. The only thing that keeps me from expressing my thoughts on Chris still until now it was a five million dollar NBA and lots of wine.

Hashtag litter. That's good. That's from him. That's pretty good. Um. Okay, we also like us on on iTunes or Facebook. Here we go, Here's here's a few. We got five stars. Best take on Batchelor ever. I've seen every episode of The Bachelor since it first aired, including its spin offs, and the only thing I regret is that I didn't discover this podcast sooner so I could develope even more time to the show. They always made me laugh. And if you don't agree that Arden will wrap her long

torso around you like a monkey. When I met Alex, I said that I was because he's so giant. I find him like a reseason. Yes, he's a fucking handsome man. He's hot. He is hot. Okay, then we have five stars from Julie Sue. I only watched The Badge for this podcast alone. Honestly, I hate the Bachelor and Bachelors here. I do enjoy Bachelor in Paradise and that's how I found Arden's podcast. Um um, but I check it out because I'm a huge fan of art. It so I

was hugged probably ten minutes into my first listen. I like art and started watching. Oh my god, here we go. I don't know, I look I caught up, but we appreciate you liking it. Guys, I'm just gonna read one. Email Email us at Rose podcast at gmail dot com. Here we go, Here we go. Um, this is from Halle Burbes, what the fuck Winter Games yet? But just saw that Chris Harrison posts that Claire and Ben Wi

are engaged. Is this a fucking joke? Lord, Thank you for being here because I need someone to break this crazy ish down. From Hallie b that is so we feel the same way, all right, Here we go? Um. A final one. This is from g D Genevieve. I'm sure you get this all the time. Um, you and your co hosts are in the World of Ari amazing. All I ever saw of you, Artum is the face and that white ruffled neck thing. Okay, I love okay, I love your podcast so much. I'm rooting for you

and Paget. I've started sleeping with a heavier throat blanket that that's not officially weighted, and You're totally right. It keeps me calmer, except when my cat leaps on my chest and makes me feel like I'm dying in the middle of my sleep. Thank you so much. I should get a way to blanket sponsorship. Yeah, slim guys. In conclusion, I'm so excited to take our friendship from San Francisco to Los Angeles to awesome. I mean, I am not mad at any better. I will I will come from.

How much do you like both Right and Rob? You so enjoyed you? Oh oh my god, Rob, Rob is hilarious. Okay, here we go, and it's this is what I'm doing. Don't be jelly about what I'm about to do. This is what I have to say. Better hurry, did you meet it right? Well? Yeah, I have to be an appointment of six. Okay. I was about to try to do concut by Larious Stefan. All right, never mind caring up? Where are you going? Where are you going? Wedding? We get we got a ga game. You don't want charge.

We don't want to get your charge fifteen dollars. Okay, So I'm gonna play this song out Here we go. I was trying to look for conga boy glorious stuff on but it's not working. So we're gonna do our horny sing song instead. Here we go, guys, friendship, will you accept this? We we were literally just broke down five hours of television in an hour and a half. Right, we didn't five hours, It's true. I forget that. We did two hours up Winter Games? Do you want to

we did? Stick? Yeah, and we haven't have two more episodes. I don't want it again tonight. You to write everything down. I don't write everything down. I had to mors in the morning. I'm never gonna book the I am, I am, I'm show there are, I'm gonna be the bone song. I'm just really sorry. I really think I could learn. We could I read Latina, I would say yes. The world says okay, good bye. Amn