"Full Circle Bone Zone!" With Rob Benedict

I gotta be honest with you. I was excited to be a nationale that I was joned in to hear your thoughts on our own personal march madness a k a. The Bachelor for nowe. Yeah, I mean I'm already knee deep in in my actual march madness Brack blown to shreds. And then you know, the final, the final brack at the final game of Vanessa and uh, what's his name? Nick? Nick? Nick? I almost forgot because I have moved on. Right, America officially moved it on an hour later. I'm going I'm

ready to throw myself at Rachel. Girl. Are you do you have any shows you want to promote coming up. I'd love to promote this this Wednesday, March through the Saturday the Punch Line in San Francisco. I've never hadlined there before and I'm super excited and I need people to come out, So come on out. Oh my god, to my right, Hello, we have the twenty. Why don't you sit here? Said there, the seventeen Bachelor of the Year.

You've done such a good job. You've actually been I think the best bachelor in America we have with us, Mr Robert everybody, Oh my god, Rob, how are you? What is happenings happening? Why don't you go sit over there? Aron? Just sitting here? I feel great, I feel far Okay, can you hear a loud okay, okay, So what's happening? Things are great. It's so good. I've got lots of time to think about the Bachelor, which is great. My god, I missed you. This has been my downtime this month,

so it's nice. I've been writing a lot writing season two of Kings of con Oh my god, and the first season is up right now. You can find on comic HQ dot com dot com. That's right. But most importantly, yeah, we had a finale finale before we get going. I want to say half of the tickets are sold out already, no way for them. May seventh zanies very exciting. People have been tweeting me their Airbnb reservations and this is our last podcast before. If you want to see us,

you're gonna miss us. This is it, guys. We're not having another one until May seven, unless we break down and do one Dancing with the Stars one, Oh my god, might have to We're going to get you might have to happen, but don't see don't knack one. I don't know any term is that? Now? Is that tonight? Are we going to watch? It's basically this like they wheeled out our bag of hairin and they brought in a new bag. Are we going to watch it? That was

the fall. I'm so it's like right now, it's right now. And I want to just say there was so much great fan art that people sent us about um Shell and Pony Well. I can't believe that. I love everything. If you go to our Facebook page, you can see all of the great fan art. There's actually a link to a website where you can buy hoodies and t shirts. One these gals made it is so wonderful. Um, so it'll be on our Facebook page. But so, for example,

at Starlet, Prentice sent me an Airbnb. Her Airbnb reservation is confirmed. There's so many people that are like, we're coming. There's a girl like who's celebrating her twenty six birthday with us, So it is truly people canoeing to them from Buffalo. It's just been confirmed. People are well, can I just tell you really happen in a canoe dot com reservation? What? Oh my god? Choppering in from the Ukraine. Chloe Chloe at Chloe e I s is coming. She's

got her flight and Airbnb. So we're really excited. Here's the thing. Okay, before we hear going, can I just tell you so I was in National working you guys, Oh my god. Okay, side note. I will also be at Moontower. This is the most I'm gonna be at Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, which is April one, a two, and then the week after we do Zanies, I will be in Calgary at Yuckix Calgary May eleventh, Best owners ever. I'm so excited. They're the club is super fun. I can't.

I've enjoyed all my yuck yuki. Okay, So you guys, So I just went to Nashville, and I mean honestly, I felt like I felt like a kid that still believed in Santa And it was like December twenty three, Like I couldn't sleep. I was there filming, and I like, all I cared about was this pot I look, I looked. I think I almost got into deep, you know. Like, so I went into the podcast with Wells and James Taylor and Dan Yelle, who was the blonde new natal nurse.

So first of all, they're all doing they're all doing the they're all going to do the live show. So James Taylor is doing it, as is Luke Peal, the honky cowboy. No he was not available. Evan and Carly. Evan and Carly. But like, I'll tell you this about Danielle was funny in person. Danielle had a few good one liners. She she's good. I was gonna ask how she because I liked her. She you listen to the podcast, Katie, she had some Really, she was funny. I think she

was nervous. Yeah, it's hard to be honest. She was what was interesting was so they all hang out together. James Taylor invited me to hit game night at his house, so I was like, I have to go, and so I showed up. First of all, like nobody showed up, and I was like, I kind of want to pull up Arden's text. God, um, I'm not going to do a French accent, but if if you were excitement text alone keeping the end to them and they were talking

of Vanessa as they did on the podcast. They they were saying they kept calling Vanessa V. They call her V. Yeah. But it was like I felt so crazy, like like I was nervous going over to James Taylor's and then and so then he was like, do you want to come over? I'm having I'm having game night at nine. So I got there at like I punched in like the number like and he called and he goes, he goes hello. I'm like hey, it's hard and he's like, Arden, what do you do? And I was like, I'm here

forgetting and he goes, oh you're here. I'm like, yeah, you've invited me, like and he was like, oh, nobody's here. I was like, oh my god. So like bastlor contestants are clearly, like they all bailed. So he was like, well, I'll come down. So he was so sweet. It just moved into this beautiful house he'd made. He'd like Pinterest board made like this beautiful coffee table that had like

that he designed. He cut the glass for it and he measured it out and it had records and underglass like it was he had a record player and you know he's a musician, you know what I mean. Oh my god, he was so cute. And then the girl Kristen showed up. Who was the virgin or the horse who wrote the horse who? Liz confessed that she'd slept with Nick and so like there I am hanging out. Now. Kristen had not met me before, so at first she seemed skeptical of me, but then she came around as

she should. Yeah, it was the most bizarre. Was it like he put out like the bat signal and she came? Or was I think that they were all supposed to come for game night, Like there was a bunch of people coming, and I think at that point in time, either they were all really late or everyone bailed except for me and CHRISTI How long did you stay? I was filling in the morning, Like I had to get up at like four in the morning. I shouldn't have been there. I would have been smashed. I was so nervous.

I was like, we're playing twister, where's the What were my text? What were my text? Well? No, I just you know, because I know you, uh, and you know. I'm sure all our super fans feel like at least they know you, they know me better. The level of Arden's just general excitement in life is high. Yeah, but the tech exchange, I would say a normal voice, I'd crank it to about eight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll just read one. This isn't revealing anything. I'll leave about

the last name. You guys. Natural look going to be so much fun. And even though I have to get up early, I'm gonna fucking game night at Jame Taylor's house. Rob. Rob got some text for me. Wait, Rob, I thank god, Rob, I said, um, oh wait a minute, Uh what did I say? And then Katie James Taylor is so cute Arton he was the best. I can't even He wrote, you were saying that you were going to be in Australia in May, and then I said, that's when I'll be at a house party in Nashville. That's gonna blow

everyone's fucking mind. You need to cancel your Stilia trip and come to National Rob, And then you were, OMG, it's driving me crazy. I really wish they could be there. I couldn't even And then you're like art and I feel like I'm just laying down all the foundation for the most amazing May six weekend we're ever gonna have. Oh my god, I'm about to go into James's house. I'm freaking out, Rob, Rob got I get to go to the podcast with Wells and his station to Brow

with Danielle Neo nital Narson. James Taylor is so crazy. I'm nervous, and you wrote whoa I would be to wish there? You wrote me to me too, Oh my god, Like I was like breaking out. I called Katie, Katie and Anna walked me through it. I was like it took a village to walk me down. And so then on the air, I was so so. Then so James Taylor really loves Raven, which we'll get to it. Like I think he's thinking of going he wants to go to Paradise to get to get Raven. Get in line.

James I also want to go to Paradise to get ray. You should we should qualify for crash Paradise. Why can't we crash? I was like this, I said, I was like, can I be? You're like, I want to be your spiritual advisor? Like can I come be your like weird like you know your for turtle twin lady that comes. I even talking about it now makes me like I'm like sweating. I feel I feel like panicky and excited, and it was actually good that I got to get

a breather before our weekend. So if any of you, by the way, all of us are like flying like this is this is, this is gonna be the weirdest weekend. I want you to have like a cardboard cutout of me, or you're not going to be there. Patch is going to be their heightener. They're excited your heighter. Please bring I can't Australia. Do you have to do? You have to go to Australia? Right? What's in Australia a supernatural convention? So I will be playing there with my band is playing.

You're making money, You're not paying lots of money to hang out with We're getting paid in and drinks. You're getting paid in experience and oh my god, so listen, so so you went there? I want to ask I want to ask this question. This is the question that I want. They all hang out with each other. That's what they do. They do. They all hang out with the dinner and they like cross pollin eight seasons right, So so like the virgin Is this season, James Taylor

last season. Yeah, and there was another girl I got listen to item stuttering now. I got put over the edge when I thought Olivia who got left by the blowhole? They said Olivia will be there, and I was like Olivia, I thought, And it was some other Olivia. Was there another Olivia contestant? Every season there's an Olivia. There were a couple of bowles. There were so many blowholes, so many empty canyons, bab I can't remember when Pam got

dumped blowhole in New Zealand. I get the feeling that I get the feeling that they don't hang out with Okay, okay, side note, So Danielle Face timed with the while I was there, and she was so beautiful And as my mom watched the finale, Janna Marine Mittens is doing really well, so Janna Marine watched the finale and she was like, well, Vanessa's sexy as hell, like she she she preferred Raven, but she said, Vanessa, can you just want to sit with that for just saying so she was talking to her,

just faced him, and the second sorry, and the second she said I'm doing a podcast. She sort of had to quickly go. She was like, I think she was like shopping at like the Grove or something, because she said, what do you think of these shoes? Are these shoes cute? Should I buy them? Yeah? You should tell like, I like, sorry, but trashing you all? Actually no, I was on team Vanessa for a while. Um, but but so she was on the face time. She was so beautiful, she's she

literally she's stunning. That's I tried to talk French to her and she was like, what does that mean? Said a load of Katie. Yet Katie over here, Katie head of the Nerdess podcast network, Katie, I'm so sorry. I got bachelor fever for a second and I've been making some bad decisions. Your kids look great in nut shirt. Can I say that You've got a nice little rack? Thank you? You have a real rack. I've never seen that before. You're that actually great? If they do, it's

a bad thing and great in that shirt. Well now that I'm staring at her chest art and now it's awkward. But you have a great was that a great body? Like a great body, and I didn't know she had a great flip it? I let them out, you know what, I no, no offense, but I can't look are usually in jog bras and once in a while I let him out. It's the same thing as you're looking at anything different today than your lady. Yeah, but I'm also like a pick so yeah, but you're lady's great. That

really get to the dressing, the three kid face. But let me look at that. Rios also like okay, So Katie, yes you heard the podcast. Lest could you believe what was happening? It was so exciting. I wish I was there. I saw jealous of the whole time. If I was rich, I would We need to get kidded to Nashville. Can we start a Kickstarter? No? I don't want people. People. There's so many big right, you're right, you're right. How about Miles? What do you have a name a company?

What if somebody don't know what if somebody donated their miles to get you there, I would take that. If anybody wants to donate miles to get to Nashville, even one week I had miles, I would seriously even one way I used my miles and then they used my miles to get there. The year tweetos if you're willing to use your miles to get where you were for a plane company could do like a standby row doesn't sell.

We have planes. We have big planes. If you're like a airline steward and there you go and you can get the plus one like sometimes people get fly like so if you were to fly like Katie would be your companion. If you want to fly with Katie from Los Angelet's say you're a plane company waitress and guy, you get an extra you've done serving the drinks and you get a extra little space where they keep the suits.

Shove Katie right there. They're small like just started rack rack you need you need extra carry alight rap U. Yeah, buddy, boy, this is my name is Arden. You. I just want to be there. I don't want to be in Australia. I wish I was just we gotta, we gotta get Miles. Get what I was going to say, Um, that would be a great indie movie is get Katie to the podcast on the street we have like breaker, I think

our fans want to meet you enough. That's some someone's spending habit that's out of hand, that's got miles or where's Karin when we need to latinum credit card? Yes, somebody with miles. Let's get Katie there. Also, if someone could buy me snacks, I don't need. Yeah, snacks for all of us. Really, we're all sharing one room there. We're all like literally, it's going to be a ship show. I know somebody's bringing Anna's bringing down. I have air and I have a face mask. And when you take

Anna's annex. Before we get going, I want to give a shout out to Rihanna, not the Rihanna. Okay, it's at Rihanna with like twenty and twenty eight. I arrived at the UH the corporate institution that I work at, which is the Maldown Comic Book Store, and I'm in my backup in the treehouse where I belong and there was a box for me, and I was like, this is either filled with toe nail clippings and haircutting or this is but it was heavier than that because I've

believe I've already received a few of those. And inside, if you guys remember the Falcon, when the Falcon Robbie, when the Falcon had his hometown visit and he had a we'll put a photo on our Facebook page. He had a guy like a why his family was drinking out of wine glasses that had that had like a like a tumbler over them. Um, he made it home to he made it hometown place. He was Number two was white? Were white? Right when they went to they went to his family's house, they were drinking out of

these plastic wine glasses that had tumblers over there. And we talked about them on air with the Falcon, and so we got I got a box with four of them and it says high art and a team and clothes you will find Turvis goblets. These are the very cups used by the family of the Falcon. By the way, side noteed we'll get to the best closure of a

business letter ever. I know we all love the Falcon obviously, and these have actually been discontinued, so I was unable to personalize them with your names and cabinet positioned sad face. But I worked for Turvis, so I still have to round them up and send them to I hope you received them in time to use for the finale. I'm in northwest Florida, but I might be able to make the trip up to Nashville for the live show. I'm using a lot of exclamation parks in this letter. Wow,

hope you like the gift. And then she wrote in like I'm gonna say size sixt font sag bones. I want you to know Rihanna. First of all, Rihanna, thank you so much for your gift. It's I'm going I'm going to bring them to Nashville, and I'm going to paint on them in nail polish our names, and I'm going to use them on on the stage live at Nashville. So if you can get it'll be a right off.

It'll be a write off. Right is, you can come to Nashville and have it be a write off, and you can get pictures of us using your thing on stage, and you can use it from a little bit right off, screaming eron fully white wines spread. Sir, thank you so much. This is truly the greatest gift that's ever happened. So we appreciate that. Katie. We gotta get you to Nashville, get in. I wish I was a regular on a show. As it is, I'm still paying my taxes from I

haven't even filed since I. Okay, here we go. I want I keep forgetting what it because I'm just so thrown by the after Nashville. Let's come back and have a film me in on what it was like. I want that's exactly I want to know things like they call her V to me that that's exactly made my week. They call her V. They call her V. She also, she said. Danielle exclaimed she goes V loves Nick. She's super in on She said, V is by the way, we're gonna have like a house party like Saturday night.

You've got to just not make any money and you need to, like instead of making a few grand, you need to spend a few grand and get to Nashville. List It's but you know, I don't think she would mind. I don't think she would mind me saying this. The best text was when I was texting everybody what I was about to do. Padget texted in, who's on Criminal Minds and is working and that's why she's not here today,

our secretary of State. She goes Ardent, I want, I want Ardents life with my CBS money, and I rode back. I would rather have your CBS money, and she so anyway, Robanimi, here we are. So if you guys listen to last week, I'm sorry. My notes are my notes from the episode. But now I can speak freely because I'm not with somebody who fucking dated Nick. And Wells is like Nick's best friends. I can speak freely. They're really good friends and like, okay, so Rovanie Wells. By the way, Katie,

he's so cute. His ass is about six inches wide, but he's like six ft two and cute as ship. He's a lean guy, he's a he made us all old fashions. He made us all old fashions. And he's a thin guy. But he is really cute. Okay, here we go on. The show is gorgeous. I mean, James Taylor was very like he was definitely read all you loved him. James Taylor got better and better looking as

his personality almost after the show. You know what, And I get the feeling that he's gotten some ladies who slung themselves at him, and I think he enjoyed it for a little bit and now he just wants a nice girl and like, but I think it maybe gave him a little confidence. He had a month or two tear where he got to be like yeah and like he's done, Like he's not still stick in the dick

in the hair trying to figure it out. Yeah, And I think he got confident and that like he seems like such a gentleman and like he wants a nice girl. But but I think it was good for him to see like, no, you are desirable, you know, like, oh yeah, he said he's a little hunky Haley. That's I'm showing you a picture of Haley now right, Yeah, yes, my newt that was the best thing that ever happened are

speaking of Haley? Gorgeous? I mean it, can we just talk freely because I feel like this is a breaking down the season. Was that FaceTime with Haley the best thing that ever happened to you? I tried to get in tight here, yeah, I mean free here. It was unbelievable, was really great and like it did not expect the turnaround, the switch because I was like, she loves she loves super Next, she couldn't believe she was talking to Rob. It was the weird. I was like, were you here

for that? No? That was okay. So Rob was so nervous. He changed his outfit to look more Canadian, and he like put on what did you put on a maple leaf? He put on the entire saying, you know, you know how hot it is up here too. He wore like a like a like a hot version of a lumberman Rob. And it's so fu hot up here, like it do not breathe up here, like heat rises and it does not breathe. And there's like there's like decades of like nerd sweat up here. You know, it's just riddled with

like lowly virgin sweat. And Rob is here dressed like the tundra, and and she was like and then we had like after text. We had some after text where she was like, oh mg, I was so nervous to me. And then Rob and I had a side text going on that was like Rob like holy ship, you know what I mean? He couldn't deal. And then we were like how do we reply? Like Rob and drop off? That's shunt it down. It's cheasy easy with the moose knuckle. He's got a good rack, like CARDI not that I'm looking.

I'm not allowed to looking at your rack, but your rack is tremendous. I say that. I'm not allowed to say that. All right, So here we are in roven Nemi, and so we're in Finland. We're starting the episode. He's skipping with Elves, the lady Elves and the fucking so then Santa the like the molester. Santa's hiding behind the trees waiting as he's skipping, and all those Dancing with the Stars ads. He was, he was so the Santa was so creepy. And the fact that he's spoken the

you know, Finnish or whatever made him creepier. The whole thing, the whole thing. I will did you want to know what Danielle said? That was funny. She said he looked like he put hot rollers in his beard. That's funny, that's funny. That's funny. Did you guys see the white van behind the U the U Santa's house? No? Is that a joke? White man? Really? Did you do? You guys don't see the white fan. There's no windows heightener. I texted heighters they was great as Santa and I've

killed so many women in that ship. I told them that, and they stared at me like, oh, okay, okay, since we're spoiled, we're hanging around with comics all the time. I know, I know. Well. So when I went to James Taylor's house, he played our theme song for Oh my God, I'm into Deep. You guys, I'm actually I'm

worried about me. Like as I'm saying this, I'm realizing I'm like if I had told you last year that you were going to say so when I went to James Taylor and that, I'm more excited about that James Taylor than if I went to Jailer. I do think maybe right now you're a hologram and you're still in a James Taylor. I went to James Taylor's house and

he played Danielle the Virgin the theme songs. He enjoyed it so much, and she looked at me and she goes at it, yeah, because you need a you need a hook, And I thought you yeah, And I thought, I I like the Virgin. I like the neo Natal. I was like, I prefer so Kristen. That was Kristen. That was Kristen. Do you need the hook? I guess she was like, I need a theme song. So I like Danielle the neo natal nurse. This was this was what does she mean you need the song? Still needs know?

She was saying, no, it's cute, like that's fun. You got a fun hut? And I was like, I don't like that. I don't like you saying that. But then but then she grew on me a little bit. She was kind of funny, but like I was like, I felt misunderstood, and I felt like I've been with like comics for the name of this episode, might have to bet a hut. You got a nice huh, that's cute?

Kept calling it cute, like that's not cute. I also said, note, I want you guys to know that I found the fucking romper stores and I tried to go to a romper store to buy a romper to shove my quirky body and for the national live show. So I went into the romper store because I saw, my god, I'm in too deep. I'm worried about me. Because I said that Carl Carly from Evident Carly had tweated about these went into the romper story, and this was the fucking exchange.

It was this, are you liking for anything in particular? I was like, no, I'm just looking really live. Do you live here, Naturale? No, I'm in from where do you live? California? Wearing California? I'm like Los Angeles? And she was like, oh, you're from Los Angeles. Let me ask you a question. Do you like these shorts? I like, not really, and then she goes, so what are you doing here? It's like I'm working. She's like, um, what do you do? And I thought I can't answer that.

I was like a little of this, a little of that, and then she goes, Then she goes, did you work here a lot? I mean it was truly. I was like, I I will. I'm gonna take bath salt and eat your face off, girl, like I would have given you sixty bucks for the stupid cold shoulder romper that I should not be wearing at my age and with my body type. And now I'm sad. I'm gonna take bath all to go to jail because I eat your face off because you asked me, because you wouldn't leave me

alone to show my stupid body in this one. I love that you went from a little of this, a little that, to just eating her face. And there's actually no one between. There's not like you know what, I'm just gonna I'm just looking around and then you leave. It's either I was in you tell me how you feel I had I tried to avoid her. I was. I was in the dressing room where there's a curtain, and she came and stood there outside of the curtain asked me those weird and that's when you go right

to go. She finger on the cur I was like, I was not ready for the finger blast. But circle finger blast, seasoned finger circle fingerball circle finger it's a little freakdeacherful moment. Side, I'm so glad my friend Connie, who plays Yoga Jones on Riches and New Black, was

going to come to the podcast. And then when she but then she like she found out that we weren't super into Vanessa and Nick, and so she came down to the comic bookstore and then she realized that she would like get teary eyed and cry and now with full circle finger, I'm so glad that I could be free and get to best salts of full circles because she would not I would actually have lost a friend today.

Oh that's not good. She doesn't need to know that I'm getting finger blested before I take bad salts at a Rockferst store and steals Caroltt and Nashville. My favorite is that Aaron did the Usain Bolt, like, oh my god, falter Katie. How many miles look up? How many miles we need? I think we need? I think I'm an American. It's twenty tho. One way we could get you one way. Let's get Katie one way. She never get back. You'll just marry Jims Taylor. What if she stayed na Nashville

is great. By the way, if you guys are coming to Nashville and I we really hope that you do. There is here's some fun things to do because it take me a little bit to figure out Nashville. I'll give you guys the top four things I enjoyed doing. Number one Robert finger Blast. Number two Jack Whites record store. Third Man Records is great. Um. I enjoyed the tour at the Hatch Show Print which is at the which is where they do all the old It's super cool.

And then like, if you're a girl, anyone does like a ladies day out without getting finger blasted at a rapper store. The area twelve South is really cute. So if you guys are going to Nashville, you only have like one day. You don't know where to go. I've just been finger blasted there for two weeks, and so that's where I would say another Yeah, chasing a Shetland pony with the ship. Every sitting Okay, who was there? By the way, he was there? Okay, we haven't even started,

so we get okay, so we know. The good news is it's a very simple episode. So they go to some hut in the woods where Nick's gigantic family is. Oh my god, it was so fucking bored. Anna texted a photo. Anna can't be here today, but she texted a photo of Nick standing next to the table. Did you guys see that where he looks gigantic? Is Nick? Anna? Wait a minute, let me find this Anna and Katie? Is that Look at this? Look at this photo? Does he look huge? He was at the table that his

family was like hosting that. We'll put this online too. Maybe it's just a really small table, but look how big. He locks. He looks huge that. I also feel like the ceiling is at a weird angle. Is it like a sloped snow sledge sledge? Dude? Okay, so his family's right, I think he was. He's told his sisters like six nuns. His sister what's her name? Uh, she's ten, going on high school. So they go to meet Raven. Raven was so sweet and his family I feel like the boys,

the men and his family hate him. The mom looks devastated. The dad is a crier. Yeah, so the two of them. So Raven goes, she's so sweet. Vanessa goes. She wears her flashdance top and like it's pushy and weird, but like the family sees that they love each other. Yeah, this family just looks so just down and they couldn't stop at that narrative, Like, but will they say yes? No, one says. The father basically spelled it out. He looked

right at his son. He's like, this is who you date, a gay Vanessa and it doesn't work and it won't work, Katie. Do you want to be on a mic here? Okay, you need to get in on this. I mean he he took his head out of the bad Yeah, exactly. He made a ball out of an apple because he couldn't fly with it to Finland. Some busy carving bombs, and he made one out of a cereal box. He looked at Nick with his working one eye, said you picked the wrong woman every time, and he's like, I

didn't notice that, did he? Really? I didn't know what I was going north He stops, I didn't notice that? Done it? Ever? I didn't either? But I love it? Yeah? He there was like during did you notice that, kiddn't? How did you not know his eyeballs were little? During a time I hadn't watched it fucking prose anything. I did watch it in America. During the talking head section, all of a sudden it was like, yes, he got the other eyeball back in, Yeah, you picked the wrong lady.

It was literally, yeah, had eyeballs were Those guys felt like they hated Nick as much as as the guy who is in the Caucasian hot seat, the white Oh

you guys missed that episode. There was a guy, the white guy that was Rachel married to Rachel's sister, sat in the Caucasian god that was like the high backed chair and they put him in the Caucasian hot seat, the ginger who was like so excited, but like but like they they those men and Nick's family, whether they're married in or are his relatives, they seem like they just seem like they're sick of this ship. And now he's on dancing with the starts. It's like never ending here, Like, dude,

please stop exploiting our failure. Dude. The mom's mom's mom. She's got to cry for help. She's got a Kate Goslin haircut, and she's got a nose Piers. The husband doesn't even recognize here. He doesn't know where to look. He's a pinball wizard. I think the weed helps his eyes relax into place because you can't tell all the time. And then in the and then he must have been sober and then he can focus. He said he literally gave the best piece of advice to Nick, which was

don't do what you always did. He literally was like, this is when we date a strong, you know woman, and it doesn't work. And that's why I thought maybe he will pick Raven because the father got it head on. The Nick seems like, you know a lot of guys in their younger twenties, they kind of date crazy girls and they date like these people these like and women do this too. They date the guy that's unattainable that they have to fix, quote like they don't they want

the challenge. And most people they grow out of that at a certain point. But I feel like Nick is not growing out of that. Yeah. You know. Ever, while I always wanted the guy that didn't like me, you know, everybody wanted that. And then I was like, wait, there's a really nice guy in front of me that doesn't Yeah, let me date him. I'm so hot right now. I almost just poured this whole body all over the water, and I realized I would have electrocute myself. I actually

thank for not doing it. I thought, I'm just gonna pour this all around. I picked the wrong day to wear a wool sweater. It was so chilly the airport I just flew in for this podcast. I woke up in Florida? Was it was it? A? Um? Was? I am? I god of getting text? That's gonna stop nobody? I can't. I don't want any outside um? Was? Were there any sinkholes in Florida? Not enough to keep me entertained? I'm obsessed.

I do love a sinkhole. Excited when there was one in the valley, I was, I got my phone, was like blowing up. No, I just I just you know, I drive by every day. It's still you know, they're still working on it. It's just crazy. What do people do if they live on that street? They just don't go the other way. It's sort of like White Street. If it's the street I'm thinking of, because I know someone lived, I haven't driven down because you can't from

from the Venturist, from the Laurel Canyon. What the hell I'm getting? I think they drive around, they turned around, look into that's at a date in the woods was they go to Santa's house and she freaks out, and then they go and then Santa gives him a carving of their face, and then she basically goes and cries for two hours. But she's got a great body. And it's the worst fucking date of all times. I had a fast forward through a part of it. I literally

was like, I can't take this. Then I thought, you know, like the power of editing. Right by the end of the Raven date, you're like, he's going to pick raving. But then you go back and when even before it was announced, when she was having her eightie miltown on the couch and he was really spending a lot of time like and I was like, oh, you wouldn't spend that much. Yeah, he would spend that much time if you were going to pick her. He loves a chase. And she was the only one. She acted like she

was the bachelorette. Yeah, and how she kept and I don't know if I'm going to say yes, I mean that was but the fact that she had that attitude and it wasn't like Raven was coming on too strong. It wasn't being like Raven just didn't I like you. So it was the worst date ever. What do you have to say about the worst date ever? It was such a bore because she was okay, she was fundering the airplane date and she was fun in the ice bath like in the world, and this was like a funeral.

This was I was like, you're so fucking boring. I'm gonna this is. They went all right, and they kept in the year. They just cried it in a year. They just like snuggled. I don't like I had something. I was like, did something happen. That's making her cry like it was so bad, like also, you can, you can, you can everything again. Everything that she was saying was completely rational, completely understandable. It's just that like it's a

game show, it's a dance. She was like, watch she wasn't act like you have to spend some rules and suspend some belief and like be like, I gotta this is what it is. There are a couple of women involved.

I just gotta jump in. And it was like she was going like I don't understand why you need to go up with other people like that the show, yes, Janner Marine says, and she said this about the about the Patriots when they won the Super Bowl over like she said, you did it to yourselves, assholes, and she did herself as all, you didn't watch that, you didn't want sponge. So then we go. So then Raven shows

up and they have the best day. So the l was great and his face looked like an ad for an antidepressant beforehand, like you like he was gray, like like he actually looked chemically like fucked up, depressed. And then they went to sixpence and on the richer kissed me ice skating and they were clearly I skating for a while because they took their coats off. They were soaking wet. He lay you're down on the ice. Loves a layer down, layer down. The puppies like, I want

this today. My friend Mandy was like, you loves animals. She's like, this is the best day. I mean, there's nothing cutter than a husky puppy. I think there's nothing. And then they had a great date in their ere She wore a really cute knee highs and uh n high boots and a sweaters. But I have to say, this is the point where I thought, Okay, it's not going to be here because she starts going I think it's gonna be me like I think, and I'm like,

oh shot, they're setting us up. There was no there's no challenge, you know, defend a little bit of a defense in nick is. You know, sometimes I think it's men and women when you have like the sure thing in front of you that's like I love you, I'm ready, we're gonna do this, and then there is that little

bit of like a challenge. Now sometimes eventually yeah, but if you've known each other like two weeks, yeah, so it's like if somebody is like, I will marry you, and you're like, like, i'd they actually marry me, and they'd expect to get a should do on this, I'd be like, I'm not going to marry you, which is like kind of a vanest keep saying I'm a realist. She's a realist. So I felt like to him it felt like more of a real relationship. And actually that's

a good point. Okay, you know, great, like a good point, like maybe he's seen this is like, hey, she might be the one. You know, obviously we're engaged, but it's more like maybe he thinks, oh, Raven really wants to get married, and this is like he's thirty six. So he said he said he didn't know if he was in love with her. I think that's fair. You can love someone and not really be in love. And yeah, yeah, you're right. When somebody is they just looks so cute

together and so light and fun. And then we got, you know, saggy bottom and give me your diary. So then they go and he proposes and Raven leaves her cloak. Yeah she and I was like, Vanessa's going to see the jacket. Yeahs. And they even left her coat. Yeah, and like after he said no, he like walked out the side door, and I was like, she must be called. First of all, I was like very worried about her. They stuck them. And then Ding Dung shows up looking

like Dynasty. Yeah, and then and then van fucking styles Joan and I go back really quick because when he was dumping Raven, first all, why did she say her whole speech? Because he should have stopped her. So mad at Caitlin for letting him the speech, and I was like, I guess the producers make them. But he since he got so mad about that, I was like, he could have been like, no, I'm not fucking doing that, Like I'm not going to make her say this whole spiel.

And Vanessa didn't say anything. Yeah, But I loved when he said I'll miss you because I know, I know, Yeah, It's like, yo, you're gonna be fine, Like she's going to be fine, Like I would love for her, and James Taylor would be a great I bet there's a lot of guys going for Raven. No, James Taylor, Raven. If you're listening to yeah, we know you're listening. Of course you're obviously listening. Your four spirit animals are telling you listening. He might be listening. Yeah, um country, Like

I'll text him. I'll text him and tell him to listen. They would be so cute together. James Taylor did he have did he he wants to go on b I p to meter? Yeah? He said, okay, wait a minute, he should absolutely go there. I mean, he was such a favorite. Everyone loves he was great. I actually liked him after the show. I didn't love him on the show, but after the show, remember when we were listening around and I was like, where who is where is the Yes,

He's so charming and great energy. He was just super cute. That's why I felt Danielle the neo natalers and person, she was funny. Well, I mean they're they're nurse is like five she had like five solid singers and she's a real nurse. And then also don't do nursing. Also the editor film she saved four babies were like the other one like, I don't know if everybody else you know, like she doesn't you know? Okay, so what if we meet that one? Be like she's a real dolphin's she's

just a real real estate intern. She's a real aspiring dolphin trainer. Okay, wait a minute. So then so then they getting gay, Oh my god, the corpse and setting I'm going to go with him for Halloween. Oh my god. Ye have a box of rings and a lot of tanner. It could just be ring pops. Oh my god, ring pops, Ring pops, Ring pops. We should bring rain and I go with your assistant sales. We should bring ring pops to the podcasts. And like gummy roses? Do they sound

like gummy roses? Do they really feel like jelly belly? Use make gummy? Yes? That thing when I was a kid. Okay, I want to find so get the the cornlane. So then we get to the okay, so then they get engaged with the after the rose. So then they after the rose. Did you guys feel, by the way, what did you think? Like did you I felt when the choe gets out of the limo door? Were you studying their dresses and their shoes? And I was like, has it ever switched? Like maybe stack in the day they

used to say they need to switch it up. Now you got it's hard for when like yeah, say yes, and they'd be like, hold on, I gotta break up with the is if your first you're not, you're but it used to be that they yeah, there are a couple where they switched it. So he said, it's awesome, Like I really want to say, like, Graven looks so cute and a little white dressed in her hooded cape, and Vanessa looked like Joan Collins and even in the even in the after the Rose thing, her dress choices,

it's like she's so sexy. It's like, what are there's nineteen eighties, like nineteen early nineties, like weird strap contraptions, they're they're there. It's it's making her look like, first of all, not that fun and older because she's so hot. She just's like a fun, hip, you know, designer because you know, her personal energy is really john because she's you know, she's stunning. She literally is absolutely perfect. She's perfect. Okay. So then so then we're at after the Rose. Right

after the Rose, Raven comes out. She was so elegant. She didn't trash him at all. And then I loved how like on on on her Instagram account, she like just posted about the dress she wore and like why she wore and equality and like and like promoting the quality which her town, which I read upon was one of the first towns to uh to to to push for integration and schools, and I was like, that is so cool. She was so well spoken and she was

so sweet. The ultimate difference. It feels like Raven thinks outside of herself, yeah, and bigger issues and it comes from like a real pure, like sweet place. And Vanessa to me feels like it's all about Vanessa, you know what I mean. Like Raven's dad having cancer, A lot of people like how that happened with what's his face? His parents got divorced, and he acted like the world had ended. They all made these things that happened in their families about them, and she didn't. She's like, my

dad has cancer. It's really terrible. I worry for him. I worry for my family. You know it. We can all take away. Yeah, life happens, but you don't need to like make it all about yours. Yeah. So then Aaron just pulled her lip and thought, I Like, I just was just thinking how she just like, I just love her and she's just fantastic. When she posted that thing about her hometown on Instagram, I think you sent

it to me. This is amazing because I think she's really like from her first are everybody's first impression of Raven to the very end was unbelievable. We had Vagina shoe to now it's like, wow, yeah, that gives two finger blasts from I give this, I give this bachelor. I give it five ships like pies. Can I tell you just saying that somebody has mailed a package hashtag bones on and the falcon and that I know what they're talking about, and I'm like, yes, this person gets me,

Rihanna gets me. The fact that Rihanna sent me a box with goblets, I love it so much art and I just can I just pause and say, I'm so proud of you, God, thank you. I just think about her, just you coming over in our little dinky, and you have taken this on like like a falcon, if like a phene rising. I truly, I actually blossomed into a chap. I actually want you all to know. And I hope

this doesn't happen. But if I have like a brainy aneurysm or something, because it's the only way to go, truly, and it's got to be my sleep, I don't want to be driving and aware that is happening, and I want to be like, oh this is Orlando Bloom. I can't kiss you on this pony, you know, Like so that's yeah, yeah, so let's just say that happens. I

want everyone to know. Well, well, I'm not happy about it, like I do feel that my life's work has been fulfilled, like just receiving this goblet with hashtag Bonzone and the artwork, the fan art from Shell and Pony will fucking cut you. Yes, I truly And you know what, I can't die until after May seventh. Good, you're planning on murdering me? May I need to full still the podcast, the live show.

I need to party like it's nineteen eighty nine. That's how the song goes right in Nashville with all once Katie, Katie will take a Bonanza bus that we've gotta get Katie there. If you get in a bus now, if you can where Katie makes it to Nashville. She does, Oh my god, I want to go back to the Romper store and see are in action? Oh my god, do you want to go to the Romper store? Yes? Okay, I want her to be like what size of you?

I will eat your face off, don't try to woom me with your finger blast and then you're you going to change the room and you're like, I'm ready for my finger last. Yeah, get in here, Darline. I don't know, it's been hard lately in there. I don't know if this romper, this onesie fits properly in the in scene. Can you help me find out? You'll know it's my room because I got the curtain open, I got a

lodge undercarriage. Let's do this, dolline and tone Darlene so so, then out comes Vanessa at after the Rose and boy did the the still shots on Twitter? Per fucking face z. They hate each other. Can't even fake it, can't. The thing about that was that shelling Pony was in the ground. He was there, and I didn't see him, did you guys? Did I see the hay that was under his feet? It was probably him up on the chair. Listen. He's a tiny little fellow. I'm sure he's got magical powers.

It just he wasn't. He was sitting on Hey, it's so concerned with his sister's love life. She couldn't stop calling them out, like we get it. You love your family? Oh my God loves her like loves like, you know, her personal protector. If I had my entire extended family, they'd be like I didn't know they made torso so long and limbs so short, and I didn't know that generations could get shorter each Like, aren't you supposed to

get tolerate generation like you shrink each each round. We're like Russian nesting dolls, with the current generation as the inside doll. The smallest. My great grandfather was like six six. We get short, we are we are a weak species. And John Cena needs to be there. Oh my god. I love John Cina. I worked with him on my TV. He's huge hands. I just you have to do that show with him. I wrote a show it's so funny. I need to do a show where I played my best friend and John an. I need to get that

to him. It's so funny, man, you know what. I should get that to him. What's happening? Yeah, can you think about your entire like my mom, my mom, her face would just be like she would just be doing the I can't like. She just would be nodding like I can't believe this is your life choice. Dude. I want you to know that looking at pictures of them on each other's instinct um if they wait. So you know, I'm cheering, like, you know, I hopeless romantic. I'm cheering

for them. But I and and you know, in some ways they both had very true dating comments. You know, it's just that she just they hate each other. She just I think it's a it's a it's a She's got a lot of good qualities, but I think she falls into that category of hard to date, just hard to date, not fun. Yeah, she's no so serious. But so him. Can I he looked exhausted, but what he

probably was dancing? Can I confess something? Please? Well, first of all, did you guys see the ads for his stupid He just like happily he thought this and they're not good. It's not it's like it's not good. Hopefully he'll get canned. I'm going to watch it tonight. We need to do we need to do an episode at some point. Yeah, if nothing else, just because I'm going to miss this, I tip tweet to us if you want us to do one about dancing with I'm cheering

for Sean Jennings. I wanted to say that the other thing that happened on the finale. So you So while we're watching, I'm like a half an hour behind, and Arden's like yeah. So Arton's like, if anybody gets to a commercial, called Rob and I was like, I didn't know exactly what she meantioned like, just let me know when you're at a commercial, and I was like, maybe our needs something. I'm in a stopping place my phone ring.

She's like, okay, I said to talk about because I saw two hours before you guys, I had East Coast and I was on a delay. It was Rachel's I had to call roll it. So I called Rob and I said, and I said, you're like the first guy, the first white guy. The black guys seemed pretty cool. The first white guy, see is definitely gay, that's what you thought. And then the second one, You're like, he hopes his mouth, okay, seems like enough, and then he says, Rachel, I want you to know I ready to go black

and never go back kidding. I didn't see anyone after that. I couldn't. I was last. I couldn't even see the last guy because I was in a Marriott and I couldn't pause anything, and so I was so busy going, oh, I got like texting, keep trying to find somebody on the East coast, like because you guys hadn't seen it yet. Yeah,

it was no And then I watched it. It It was as horrible as you said, and you know, Harden was saying like you know that Rachel afterwards, like to the producer, She's like, okay, listen, like, yeah, you know me, I'm a hot lawyer. You need to get me a better guy. Yeah, these guys are like spring Break. How many honests got after four? Okay, so after Black Never Go Back, there's

one more black guy. Okay. Yeah, the black is really cute and seem cool, but like, we don't want it to be a season of that four four, which are those guys just like not going to get out of so they just won't go out and let those already be in the house. I mean, I think they might get it again, and she just sa can we vote to just just write them out right now? But Black Can Never Go back? Who says that I was on TV in front of a crowd I want I wanted

to kill myself. I was so uncomfortable. Everyone was just kind of like huh. And then I thought he was going to look at the camera and be like five sick forever. Yeah, she had to like humor him and be like, oh, like, oh I think you're fucking pretty. Yeah. I hated him and I love you. Yeah, don't just can you imagine? I mean that's the thing. It's like

you have one like you have two white guys. One is gay and the other one mentions her black, like are you like it was like playing like didn't abc vet what he was going to say, and they were cool with that, like they wanted that, Like how is that okay? He might have been fed the line, you know what I mean, Like you could have been out the line. He probably was just to just to like make it. Why did you feed him that line? Well? I just thought he called me and he was like

I'm panicking. I'm like, go with the black thing. People are gonna go crazy for it, love it. Yeah. The thing is he's going to be on the show fast forward a year from now and be like, oh my god, he's so great. You you just you took on the race relationships just immediately, and so we're not here. So it sounds I know, because I'm freak that Rachel doesn't start till the end of May, like and then and then so b I P is until the summer, right, the i P is until the summer because we have

to get her cast offs. So it's like, you guys, like, this is it for us until the You guys just have to America. You need to fucking get credit card, debt and just come to Nashville. You've got a Zanes Nashville May seven. This is seven o'clock. Get card. But also I think, well, well, at some point there will be like more Vanessa Nick news, like for sure, because she musically was dreaming on national television. Just like I just want to be in the same car with them.

I just want to be in a car like, oh my god, the other So I feel like this this impending. We can go on the streets of l A and look for her because we know she's probably here. Because she's here, he's competing here. Do you is that live? I'm sorry, Dance with the Stars live like they're doing it right now? I think it, yes, East Coast, But then they have like you can call in, they have like West Coast times because my mom would watch and she'd be like, call in and vote for this. I

mean like right now in l A they're doing the show. Yeah, yeah, I didn't know if it was two months ago. It's like American Idol. So wrapping up the season. This was a really disappointing season. I mean, I really love my Hope. I felt very proud of us as a pot. I had a great time. I think the podcast has really too. I really appreciated all the fan art Casey run In the painting, that painting and all of all of the I definitely come I'm sorry. I had more fun on

the podcast and watching the Yeah, for sure. The show really like really like like the ship hit the fan when they pre announced Rachel and there's real it really was so I mean Karin was like the most entertaining then you got so sick of her, and then all of a sudden, Rachel we knew, and we were like the Nick became the same Nick, and he didn't seem to really he just seemed to want to be on TV.

She was announced, and then there were like two other episodes Yeah, I guess because they were how can you find a gay guy in Hollywood? Just send out as her bed fend like like it's like they felt they announced early to get those four guys. Are you kidding me? I know it, just it felt very produced and a bit lazy. He didn't see that anywhere. Like I like the Denmark, I like the cold Weather, I like the finale. Um, I can't wait for Rachel. We guys do a fine

tweet of the week. Oh by the way, oh my god, Paget, we are we are missing you right now. We are missing you hard hard. We are missing you so fucking hard. Oh my god, Aaron, how much do you love Paget? You love her? Right? Okay? Wait, I want to say that. I also wanted to say I appreciated everybody. Um, everybody sending hold on That was not it? This is okay. So today you guys liking us on iTunes is I really I appreciate it, and you guys have been doing

it and we had some nice comments we have. I'm a hoy sailor. Will you accept these stars five Stars my favorite podcast that recaps the Bachelor franchise in the most hilarious way. I will gladly accept your Rose five Stars by send. I watched The Bachelor when it first came out, but totally fell off for a while, only got back into it due to friends making a fantasy league and I felt like being informed about who I

was drafting. This pod is hilarious. Too many times I've been afraid I will actually pee myself at work from laughing. Thank you so much for making office work ten times more entertaining and informative. Ready for b I P. So thank you so much. We appreciate it. Email us at Rose podcast at gmail dot com. You guys, we're going to Nashville. Katie's gonna start hitchhiking. Now, Katie, let's start walking. I've I've already visualized from I'm gonna make a visions

Arden's announcement throughout the rest of the pocket. You're going to be there. I think you're gonna have there. I think somebody's got twenty miles in America. So here's here's a final day of the land. Should should I do it over? Our Spirit Airline has a deal for sixteen years. He's gonna be there. Here's the final line up seven Sunday, May seven. Um, it's supposed to be an hour and a half, but I think we'll probably like seven hours.

I can't figure out how to work it up. Let me ask you this I guess I could do this afterwards. Please send me pictures. I can't even handle it. I'm gonna get to work on a Westworld since version of myself. So we could only have like so many people on stage at one. So the people from the pod are me and Miss Aaron and our Secretary of State Paget and Steve Heightener, who's Kenny Baniah who's going to try to funk Wells as sisters while he's there. So then

we have Wills and his sisters. That'll be one segment with Heightner. We have Luke the Cowboy. We have Luke I'm We have James Taylor, Katie's future boyfriend, sorry, current boyfriend. We have Carly and Evan, who I feel like might bail on us. They're like, they're harder to get in touch, right kids and they have kids. He's he's a dick, he's the dick doctor, so he's busy. He's got penises to fix. There's six and then we have we have Dan Yelled, the neo natal nurse, and then we that's

like a hot lineup, you guys. It's a great I can't figure out how many people to have on stage, and we might have to tag out us and maybe pair, like figure out who each person's dream person to interview, Like you get one person page. I guess one person because I don't know how much of a clusterfu. Yeah, like there could only be so many people on stage, So we'll figure out what I do A calling interview with Haley. Everyone come up one at the time. Yeah, there will still be like five to one or six

to one. I don't know. I don't know just time wise, I've been trust me, I've literally lost some sleep trying. I think you need it. I think I timer Yah, I will have time to do this. We did this on like you made it weird. We can talk about this after that. Okay, okay, all right, you guys. All we know is at some point it'll be figured out. It'll be a fucking hot mess. James Taylor has agreed to learn our theme song and let me do the sounds of the backup singing, like the grunting. He agreed

to sing it, and then I'm going to do backup grunt. Okay, I really need to go their place, help me. Are you kidding? Gonna fire it out? We're going to figure it out. So you guys Thank you so so glad he doesn't listen, sir. Thank you so much everyone for making this was season three. Will you accept it? You guys? Truly it is my favorite thing that I do. And when I get a brain in yourysm a A, I just want everyone to know that, Like truly, I feel

that my purpose has been fulfilled. You're not gonna get a brain anurism, but if I did, I'm not happy about it. Kill you, but my word work, There's more work to be done. One of my favorite parts is getting to know you better. Rob. I'm really when I didn't tell me you weren't coming out was I was heartbroken. I was like, what do you mean? I don't know? Can I play this lot? You're glue? I know, I know I'll be there in spirit. It's not playing Mark

Rivers Magical Mark Rivers Our Musical. Oh my god, let's just listen to it and sing, w well. Will you accept this road that's cat to accept this role into your bones on into your robber area? Oh? I'm sorry I took that curious. I will cut you if you don't accept this? Will you accept this shelling pony into your fermonda? Where are you looking Nick's dad. Where are you looking at bye now leaving notice dot com