"FEELING THORNY!" W/ Your Hostess Arden Myrin (interviewed by Lisa DeLarios)!

ready for this one? Lisa, you know what time it is. It's time for hard to get a little close and a little thorny. Well, was gonna go one on one, gonna be hot energy phone convo's all gonna be super real. She wants to get with you and all the feeling thorny. Who feeling thorny? We're not Marie. Wow, I haven't actually heard that in a little while. Oh it's not done yet.

And that was Avery Pearson and of course Mark River's up top two people who should be winning Grammys in the upcoming Grammy what you guys, This is a very special feeling thorny, and I feel kind of cocky saying that because I'm forcing my friend to interview um, and I wanted to say, up top, you guys, if you think if you have to find it hopefully, okay, I'm back. What are you wear? It's a romper I'm wearing a romper.

Um you guys, if you think that you you've the road has risen to meet me when I'm like, hey, you guys, I've written a book. Will you preorder it? None of you have been like stop talking about it. Bish. Not only did you not say that, you were like, yes, we preordered it. Here is our receipt and it's not too it's not too late. Just keep mailing it in because I'm gonna be doing giveaways today. I'm gonna be doing giveaways for next week. It is Aaron Foley's episode.

This is happening, and this is what I want to tell you. Beyond that, in a perfect world, there would be so many things different than what is happening in Let's just start like, literally, not one thing. There's literally not one thing that I would have willed to be happening except for the following. In a dream world with my book coming out, I would be flying all over the world, coming to your hometown, doing readings, doing stand up meeting, all of you signing books, hanging out. As

it is, I've been put into my shame hole. Say question to my garage in Los Angeles, California, And and so I can't I can't have a book tour. But you know what I can do doesn't mean that J J. Marine did not raise a drip. I am not a drip. I do know how to celebrate, and I'm throwing a fucking book released party slash comedy variety show that you guys can come to because it's online. It's this Saturday night. It's at Dynasty typewriter dot com and we it's on

our Facebook page. If you guys are like, wait, what is it Dynasty typewriter dot com. It's this Saturday night, September five pm Pacific eight pm Eastern time. It's live, So you guys can you can email, you can like message us and stuff like that. But if you if you it's only five dollars, okay is it five bucks? And if you buy your ticket in advance and you're like, girl part in, I have a life. I'm not going

to be home on Saturday night. The link is live for a whole week, so go to Dynasty type writer dot com. It's not just gonna be me. There's gonna be reading, so, there's gonna be chats, there's gonna be performances. It's gonna be me. Bachelor of the Year and twenty. Rob Benedict is coming and he's going to be performing a cover of a Katy Perry song, Who was My Mother's Favorite? We also have Friend of the Podcast Lauren Lopkiss, who was you guys saw the Wrong Missy during a

quarantine on Netflix? She was Missy. If you haven't seen it, go watch it. She's great. But she was also on Orange as the New Black. She was on Crashing So Me, Rob Bennedict, Lauren Lakis. Also, if that's not enough for you, Brian Sofie, Friend of the podcast. He also hosts Throwing Shade. He is one on Fox and my brother Alaric. That's five creatures for five dollars. It's a dollar for each of us. And if you're like artem okay, I need another incentive if you bundle buying your book through the

Dynasty Typewriter website. They have partnered with Skylight Books in Los Angeles, and you can get a custom signed copy so you can be like Artem I want to give this to my boss, Melanie, so I will. You can literally tell me who to write it out to a custom sign to you, your friend, your sister, your loved one, whatever, Hey Melanie, thanks, I hope you like the book. You can do that. So that is the first thing I

want to tell you. The second thing is if you're like girl, I don't want to do any of that. I don't have five dollars. I don't I don't know what your situation is, and I'm not judging. I've been giving out influencer boxes. Perhaps you've seen them. Now, two people here with me today. You can't say we don't

love animals on the will Accept This Rose podcast. You can't say we haven't adopted the legal limit of animals that are you can have in Los Angeles, because I think between all of us we each have about seventy eight animals. With me today is is Kabie Levane and one of my very best friends on Earth. And if you guys are our Patreon member and you've been going through the Bachelor in New Zealand with us, you know this woman She also was on one of the main

feeds recently with Rob Benedicts. She's one of my best friends. She's a great stand up comedian. She's also an excellent dog trainer if you need one in the city of Los Angeles. Ladies and gentlemen, my friend Lisa Delarios, Lisa dy, you guys got your influencer boxes this morning. What what did What did you think? Oh? I loved it. I

was so excited. I was took the dogs on a walk and I came home and I had this really cute package on my front steps and it was like this cute like kind of teal and I was like, what is that? I didn't want anything is And I got so excited. And then I saw that it's a little miss Little Compton and I was like, oh, fuck yes, and it's very cute. It was. It was like the

most like cutely packaged package I've ever received. It had like a the cute card with you and then like the pictures in it with the in the tissue paper even had a little birdies on it. I custom printed it because there's a story in the book. There was a there was a criminal at my hometown that would steal mail. That was crow named Poe the Crow. If you get the box, there's a there's a crow on the cover with a piece of mail in its beak. That's the printed custom. I kept the tissue weaver because

I liked it so much. And then yeah, and then I do want me to say what was in it? Yes, yes, they that it had the book. And then it has really cute teal toote. Yes, it says little miss little Compton. And then a puzzle of you and mittens, which I'm so excited to do. I mean, I just felt like Santa Claus. I wanted to I just felt like everybody's having a hard time. Look, I didn't think i'd be

launching this book in a pandemic. And if there's one thing J J. Marine taught me, it was how to customize, how to go to like basically the equivalent of party city. So it's like I can't throw a party. I can't have a party in my yard. I can't have a party in a bar, I can't have a party in a in a bookstore, but you can have it. So the puzzle, I don't know if you notice, Katie is a recreation of my sixth grade photo that's on the card. So leta you got one where you and when you?

How about the box? The box alone is maybe my finest, the actual box, the stuff in it's so cute. Some fine Yeah, it's it's a fine box. And I was pulling into my parking lot and I saw a strange man trying to get into my building, and all of a sudden I was like, wait, is that Dan? Dan? And then sure enough it was Arden's Lovely my gentleman caller, my loved woman, gentleman friend Dan, and he turned around and gave me this lovely package and then poofy was gone. Dude,

I mean this. Everybody thinks that the publisher I appreciate that, and I want to keep up the mystique that that the publishers treating me like I'm John grisha I'm I'm I'm I'm John Grisham like so, I I designed it all, I packed it all, I hand packed it all. I was gonna have a packing party with my friend outside last weekend, but there was so much so in ash in here. I couldn't make my beautiful babies covered in soot and stand out city city babies. No, so here's

the thing, guys. If you're like, all right, are don't we get it? All your fancy friends, they gotta know you guys are my fancy friends. And you don't have to buy or you don't buy anything to get one of these. Here's how you do it. Go on my Instagram. I've posted fifty eight thousand photos of the book, or me with the book. Does something showing the book posted on your main Instagram page, say why you want to read it? Tag three of your friends and do the

hashtag little miss Elsie. That's little miss Elsie. Post on your page is something of the book. It does screen grab anything from my page. And you're on October one, I'm gonna pick three people and I'm gonna do a giveaway where I'm sitting three people a signed copy of the book. The Cutest the Cutest Box Ever. They caused some tissue paper. The sixth grade photo that was overly con fident but looking like barbed from Stranger Things Creation as an adult, where I had fake braces made and

I made mittens come with me. Lisa drove mittens over that day to be in the photo. I was. I was the mittens wrangler for the day he drove over to Robin bond Swank studio and I was so good and quiet. She was miserable. You can see the look at her face was like, get me out of this woman's clutches, and then you get yourself a little miss, a little content tote. So just go on. I'll tell you what I wanted. I really wanted my actual sixth grade photo to be the cover, and they were like, no,

we want people to recognize you. So I was like fine. So then I was like, okay, then I'll recreate it. And so I was rooting for. I was like, that's clearly the cover as me with mittens. But I actually believe I got the right cover that I was supposed to get. And then I was supposed to make this. I was supposed to start a puzzle company. It's an amazing gift box. It's an amazing gift box. I think. I think the fact that you designed it and packaged it makes it extra special. Thank you so much. I

you know what I kept wanted. I knew again. I don't know, man, I'm locked in my house. I'm not Tina Fey, I'm not John Grisham. So I thought, what I can do is design ship, and I know the book is fun and good, and I thought everybody, everybody's having a hard year. So I was like, fuck it, I'm going to take every penny I've ever made, and I'm gonna make presents from my friends and gonna make it impossible for people to not want to photograph this.

I'm gonna make it impossible for people to not want to put it on Instagram. And I feel like that was the whole goal, was like grassroots and if they don't I just made them a little happy whatever. And if it didn't make them happy, then they're dead inside and that's not my problem and I can't fix that. So um, well, can I just also say please, there's a lot of tote bags out there? Yes. I actually I took it out and looked at it, and and I

was like, this is a quality toe. I'll tell you what, because I've got a lot of totes in my life. And I actually spent quite a bit of month me on the tote because I was like, I didn't want a thin tote. I wanted like a booge. I wanted to be the equivalent of like a purse or a beach bag or a book bag. I want thank you so much, Lisa, because that was an intentional like I could have saved a lot of money. If I didn't make it, it would have looked the same, but it

wouldn't have been a quality toe. No, it's a quality toe. It's got like the nice handles, like the sturdy handles, and it's it's a good size. Katie's nodding your craft out of it. Katie's nodding her head. And if you're like, guess what art and I might not win. I want that fucking tote you. I don't know if how many are left. You could try go see if they're still left at arten marine book dot com if you can get if you buy the book, you get it signed book and a free tote with it for the first

fifty people. They might be sold out, but race over there and see if there's any totes left, because you know what, you could always have give one as a present if you win it and you put it on Instagram. I don't know your deal. I don't know where you're up to. And at the end of this episode, we are going to be doing some giveaways because people I'm gonna be doing and I'm gonna let you guys pick email in when you win and say, hey girl, I

want Rose Podcast at gmail dot com. You tell me you want you want a mitten's puzzle, you want a toe, you want a T shirt. I don't know what your deal is. You tell me what you want, and I'm gonna put four winners at the end of this. I'm gonna keep pawing. You guys are my friends. So here we go, Katie, thank you for your service. All right, here we are. It's me and Lisa. So Lisa and I let me just do a little up top because Lisa has read the book and we're gonna be chatting

about that up top. Lisa and I met. I'm gonna shave some years off of us. Lisa. We met in two thousand and nineteen when we were twenty two and um we were doing stand up at Stand Up New York back in the day with you and me and Zach Galifianakis and A. D. Miles, Bobby Tuesdale and um, and we were we knew each other, we were buds. But then you reconnected when I moved back to New York after Mad TV in two thousand and nine, and

then we started a comedy show. Um, but I just want to say, like when I first I always thought you were so talented, so different. I thought your stand up was so great, You're such a great writer. There's nobody like you. And I always just like you were just a nice person. And then we started this show in Brooklyn at the Union Hall and then sometimes we would do it at the Bellhouse called the Party Machine, where we would stage elaborate parties that were comedy show.

I mean that's the equivalent of the Box. The Box is a party machine. Um. We because we alwould spend more money on costumes than we would make like we would. It was a theme party, you know, remember we did like a cruise ship theme and you were in like a captain tat and like yeah, so, but can I say like the premise of our show, which is your idea Party Machine show was totally your brain child. And you approached me and you were like, hey, you to

start a show. And I had kind of stopped doing stand up because I'd gone back to school, and it was like I was like, yes, I do want to start. It was just like the right timing for both of us, and I wanted it to be good vibes. It was such good vibes. It was all fun and it was the theme was you and I were professional party planners and every single show was a different party and we were like, yeah, we went full blown costume, full costume.

It did what was the first one dog days of summer, and we've had fake tans that sorry, we had fake tansum and then we had like beach balls that were going through that. But it was so dumb. We had like the baby we had a baby shower party. We we had we were like the most pregnant humans that had ever been. Oh yeah, we had family reunion. There was a lot. We had a lot of different we had when you can't do now? We did a Michael Jackson party. Can't do that now, you can't we get out?

Did we have a like, uh, what's the pretty and pink sixteen candles? Probably because eventually you run out of thing. We had the birthday party. We had like a retirement party eventually. The one of snow Day was oh snow Day. I remember wearing a full snowsuit and being so hot on stage, but it was so fun. It was so hot and yeah, that's right. We had a lot of

so the hot celebs came. I remember you were dressed early as Michael Jackson flirting with Jason studakas like with the glove and the fedora, and then you were but you looked just like Michael Jackson, and you were wondering if he was like into you. Yeah, I didn't like cute. I looked You're terrifying. It was not good. It wasn't.

We have photos of it. With the glove, you had a bomber check and and he was like jammed in the middle of us on chairs, looking being a good sport, but looking kind of capture, like by these two insane women that had kind of captured him, which was the g D delight. And you and I have just we've done so many fun shows, so many terrible Remember when we did that stand up gig at the dog track in New York, Like we went out to some dog racing track and did stand up like in the middle

of the casino, like in between slot misches. Oh my god, I forgot about that. And there was a headliner there was I was the headliner. I was the headliner. It was It was not our best work, but we got through it. That's when you really boy has forty five minutes never seemed so long in my life. But Lisa, so I was like, I knew I wanted to do a feeling thorny, and I was like, who do I want to ask? And I just thought, Lisa is a big reader. Lisa loves books. Lisa knows me, she knows

a lot about my family. Were the same age, and she also has a quirky family. Although we grew up in very different parts of the world, are very different. But I thought she would give sort of an honest we have not chatted beforehand, and uh, she's finished the book and we're just going to chat about the book. Lisa, you read it, little miss little Compton. You say, you say that, I'm It's yeah, it's such a fun read. It is such a delightful, fun compelling read. And you say,

I'm a reader. But to be honest, yeah, I like to think of myself as a reader, but I don't have the focus really to finish books. It's all right, I start books. It's rare that I find a book that i'm I get into and then I like I want to you know, like I I'm excited to get back to it. And I absolutely felt that way about little miss little Compton. Yeah, it's I mean. And also you know that as a comedian, jaded old comedian, I'm I don't laugh easily, like I mean, I don't just

it takes a lot to make me belly laugh. And I I swear to God l O L my way through this book like that makes that makes me feel so good. Art. I mean, I've always known um to the listeners, I've always known the art in It's like you know a word Smith. She's funny, like like rapid fire funny. You you're you have mad improv skills, but I had no idea that you could translate that into the written word. And it is really well written. It's really it's like I feel like you've been writing books

for years. And and I'm not just saying I totally feel this way. I because you're my friend. I can't That means so much to me because I'm so and I'm not saying and I'm not saying I do not say this lately because I know people out there who have a been officially diagnosed or like, hey, like, I'm not saying this is like a joking way. There's a part of me that does I feel that I probably have a little a D D. So the sheer fact, it's always I've always been like a sprinter, not a

marathon person of I get things done. But if you watched me, it's organized chaos, like it doesn't look I don't look like a person that's getting things done. And as you know, even when we would prep for party machine, you were very much a straight line, and I'm like a I'm like a spiral. Totally. Yes, that is so true. You were like rapid fire, like shooting ideas out. But

it's not an order. It's not an order, it's like and so the sheer fact this to me, I don't know how this actually got I don't I don't know quite how it actually got made in that that it had to be. It's suthing. You can't do a book in one night. You literally can't complete Like podcasting is

almost perfect for me, you know. Like, so it was to think that I actually had to have an overarching thing, have to be organized, have it be long, and then like have it make have each chapter sort of lead to the next and like be cleaned up and polished is so against how my brain and how I work that it's and and for anybody out there that's like wants to be an author if it makes you feel better.

I did not sit down and write it from like eight am to four pm, like at first, it was like ten or fifteen minutes a day, Like I just couldn't do it. It's too painful to stare at the

flank page. Yeah, and I remember you you telling me like when you were in the process of writing it, like that you would do these little time spurts yea, and yeah, I would black out like it was almost I feel like, you know, because it's also because it's about your life too, so it was it's not even like the super personal stuff like it was interesting what

made me want to black out like that? They publisher requested a chapter of How I got so so for the listeners, like the gist of sort of the overall arches. My parents met and married on a dare in Manhattan and then moved to this tiny town of Rhode Island called Little Compton, Rhode Island, where I was born with my brother. And it's a town of three thousand people with the general store and the aforementioned criminal that's a

crow and no stoplights. And I had stars in my eyes, and then somehow I made it onto an NBC sitcom by the time I was twenty two, and the publisher wanted to know how I got from the fields of Rhode Island to a sound stage in Los Angeles. And I remember writing that chapter, I blacked out like every other I just kept thinking who fucking care? Like who do you think you? Oh? Look at me on Meryl Street,

Like it was literally it. I couldn't stop blacking out of like the arrogance to write, how dare you write? Like who cares? And I remember thinking, like, no, I would want to read that if it was if I was reading somebody else's book, would absolutely how did you do it? But not writing it felt like braggy. Yeah, I can understand having that feeling. But this book is so not like that. This book is is generous, if

that makes any sense. And I think I told you it kind of reminds me of And I don't know if anyone out there knows this author named Jean Shepherd who wrote all of these stories, a lot of short stories, but about his upbringing in the Midwest, and they're freaking hilarious because the details are so rich. But so you all probably will know that movie A Christmas Story, Yes, where they get their tongue stuck on the flagpole. Yes, that is based on a Geane Shepherd novel. So you know,

it's just super quirky and like the details. That's what I was really impressed by your memory because I did have a weird upbringing. But I there's a way that I could like harness all of those details. I mean, I guess you probably this was like an exercise in in memory, like bringing back memories I had. Thankfully I had people I could call because you you do start to go, did I make that up? Like you know again, look I'm not writing about like Abraham Lincoln, you know

what I mean. So like I'm sure it's also filtered through my point of view or filter from when you were a little kid of like what you've heard, what people tell you. So so sometimes it's like like the family lore or like you know, and you start to

but many times I kept like did this happen? So I would call, you know, like the sex ed chapter, I called my friend and I'm like, were we taught like about like Cleveland Steamers and like Golden Showers in sex ed class in seventh grade when I never hold health hands with anybody, and my friend was like, yeah, you know, things like that or even the crow. I had to go on Facebook page in my town and

be like, was there a crow? It stole the mail and got put under like because it's a federal crime, got put under house arrest in our time, you know, so look it's yeah, yeah, sorry. I mean I was really like how to keep asking because you don't know what you're brain like, you start pulling things in the deep because sometimes I feel like I don't remember anything. And I kept having to like call my brother or

call people like did this happen? Like this? Reading it, when you read it, you're like, holy sh it, this is crazy. What card struck? What struck you as crazy? Um? Uh, well, my family, the family stuff. Can I read a quote? Yeah, you can read anything. Okay, this is from your book. Um, you're describing Little Compton. Little Little Compton established two, used to have three restaurants, but two of them burned to

the ground. Currently it has zero stoplights, zero high schools, one local doctor who took a ship in the third hole at the local golf course, one train car that has parked in a field and is inhabited by two hundred chickens. One cell phone provider. We just got our first cell tower at the town dump and one and one toothless elderly lady who smokes a corn top pipe and hangs out at the cash register of the general store and at home answers the door nude for the

local delivery boys. So we are no po dunc town. Yeah, that's a little that's all accurate. The woman who is nude has passed away. She's has passed away. So if you wanted to meet her, if you wanted to do a delivery, you're gonna be disappointed. There was this woman that would hang out at Wilbur's or general store, and she and she didn't have a license, and there's no grocery stores and there's one store, Wilbur's. It's a general store. That's it like an old school established like in the

seventeen hundreds general store. And so she would have the high school students drive groceries to her, and allegedly she would answer the door buck naked and she smoked a corn cub pipe. Yeah, I mean po crow is like what that is that real? And the and the and the whole thing about the department store. Boat. So there was a boat. So my town has no stores. Um, there's there's store right, one general store. There's no clothing stores, there's no It sort of looks like an island, it

kind of. I think it's like similar in land to Nantucket. But it doesn't have restaurants or stores, or movie or grocery stores or even a gas station anymore. Has like us. Maybe I think there was a gas station, but I think the gas station got shut down and you have to drive to Massachusetts to get your guests. Oh my god, is it still like that? Yeah? Yeah, So that's what's so great about it. There's one coffee shop that's in an apple orchard, a little barn, and that's up in

the town. Comments. Um. But so there was one day I was in will Verse because that's where you go and the general store, and one of the fishermen ran in and said, there's bears on the beach. There's bears on Briggs Beach, And I you know, and you're like, what, like and we have like eight beaches because it's a peninsula. I was like, what do you mean there's bears on the beach. So we raced my friend Robin. She was a little older than me. I think I was fourteen sixteen.

She had a little yellow folks Bagon rabbit. We raced out of the beach. Can I wait, Can I interrupt you? You said, And this made me. This is one of my l o ls is. You're like where he got into her Volkswine rabbit that had three three hundred had three hundred thousand miles. Yeah, I remember she got it. She was like she got it, was like it was like five hundred dollars. She saved up her her babysitting money. She would they would pile like five hundred younger kids

in there, no seat belts. We drive to Massachusetts, go to the movies like three hundred thousand mile rabbit. So we go down to her to the Bigs Beach And what was there, Lisa? What was at Briggs Beach? There were just teddy bears everywhere. Everywhere the beach was covered and teddy bears and all of the townsfolk were just

going bananas, grabbing teddy bears. And then and then you go on to say that the whole there were I guess there was a cargo ship and there were like every department from the department store Bradley's Bradley's, which is like a discount department store, so it's like not fancy, it's like it's like there were shoes. I love the part about there were white tennis shoes and like navy

blue pumps with like with missing their mate. It was like different, Like there was a women's left shoes around one beach and then right shoes or another, and there would be swap meets up at the school to get like a full evening pair of shoes. Heel, a magenta sweatshirts that all the my dad kept wearing. Oh yeah, the sweatshirts. Wait, so what did the sweatshirts say? They

were just teal and the enta. And then there was like there was like um snow flake turtle, and like there was like and they were clearly they were It was like Christmas. I mean, people couldn't so in each beach had like a different department, so you'd run down to a different beach and then people would be like, you gotta go head over the surfer's beach because the Surfer's beach they you know. And then some of the some of the lobster men would take their boats out.

It was like these there was the actual shipping container was stuck on a rock out in the river. So so that so not everything like not ever there was some stuff that hadn't washed ashore, and they went out and they climbed in the container and there was all these like TVs. It was like the Electronic Department. It was truly like the gods had given Little Compton a mall for the day and it was free, and like

everybody was site. And there's still if you go rent house for the summer, some of the house and you can still do that from JJ's old Little Compton real Estate for all your summer rental needs. Ask for aid Off um after off. But you have a funny you have a you have a great line about aid Off in there. I said, well, he might be NEI there might be some historical bad aidolps. This Aidolf is like the nicest guy in the world and I've even seen him cry at a funeral. This is the best aid Off.

He's a great stuff like that is like there's like twenty of those funny like weird things per page. It's so funny because I mean, I'm sure if you did your because you have an unusual upbringing, but like I didn't. I'm sure anybody if you bought details, this was what did. I have a very specific, small town specific. And then I had a specific because my parents weren't They never dated, so they got married on a dare to get vacation time.

They were co workers trying to get the maximum vacation time. You've got two extra weeks if you want on a honeymoon. So there was like, so I had the quirkiness of two people who had entered into life on a dare and then moved from Manhattan to this tiny town. And then it's the quirkiness of the town, which again I know, this is just how I grew up. But then like when you get out in the world, you're like, oh, I have an unusual point of view. Yes, how it

all happened. I mean, you've been talking about your dad. I mean I've heard stories about your father Willie for you know, as long as I've known you. And yes, I've heard of the cookie hammer. Yeah, I think I've always told you you've got to talk about your dad on stage, more like you've got to do him talk about it. It's it's he's Yeah, it's just so hard to believe how strange your dad he was, truly. I mean, I feel like sometimes I'll tell you what, sometimes I

feel like I don't know. I have tried over the years to talk about him on stage. I think it's almost more fun on the page, and maybe it would be fun and it's ripped it show as like seeing an actor do it. I think that I think people almost black out because it almost feels so weird that they're like that. They're like, I think then they also feel sorry for me and they think they get protective

of me and they're like, wait, that's your dad. Like so that, I think on the page, it's a very fun literary character, and I think on a TV show he would be a great character. But in stand up people are like blackout, like I don't get it, this is weird. Well that that's a good point. And he your descriptions of him fit in so perfectly in this book. It's like, yeah, he's just bizarre character in this bizarre setting. Yea.

And yeah, and then your mom is like this shining light of stability and yeah, I mean she also had her quirkies. Yeah, It's interesting. I got, like the word an interesting combo, like a poo poo platter of like of like this salty odd dude coupled with this incredibly upbeat, organized, supportive but like to the point where she just wanted to be a mom, which I think is very unusual, Like I see how lucky. I don't think I I again, I took that he could not have been less interested

in being a dad as people. So it was like I had both ends of the spectrum of like she wanted four kids, he wanted zero. They had to and they were both open about that, you know what I mean. So we were like her kids and he was and it was an interesting combo of like the most dismissive salty dude and then like if you're night owl the kids you can stay up just you know, making your magic.

And I'm gonna, like, like school starts too early from my vampire it, I'm gonna bring him to school at ten, you know, just and like she just would bring us to school late like stuff like that, where yeah, I love that, I love that. I don't know about you, but things are getting so hot in here. I think I gotta take pity your break, there's a there's a something you say in here about your mom and how she just something about too messy night owls, you know,

like she doesn't. She just kind of like accepted it. She didn't try to change you guys. And that's whole the whole thing about you guys being up all night was so funny, dude, we were so my brother. My mom was such a virgo organized list maker, like the

most normal lady. And I think you add, like a normal glass of milk, my mom was like a whole glass of whole milk, a sixteen ounce glass of whole milk, and then you take the jean pool of my dad and you just, even like if he wasn't actually parenting, you squirt in a little bit of that extra special

sposhy sauce. I feel like the dad sawce, the genetic sauce squirted into the whole milk is what created my brother and I because my dad, of course was up all night, and so from the time we were infants, she was trying to be a good lady and put her babies to bed, and my brother Aleric and I would just we would literally look drugged out of her mind all day and we just like past out all day and it still happens. I mean, it doesn't matter how tired I am. Once the moon starts coming out.

She said that, like we would just like spring to life and like coup and be like so happy in our cribs, like two little raccoons, just so like playful and delighted. The later at midnight one like just wide awake and perky and wanting to play. And then eventually she just give up and was like go to bed, like it's the only time of day her kids were alert, and uh, and that's it would started day one for both of us. I mean, we've just always been wired

with a reverse cycle. It sucks. That's so. I'm hard. That's hard. Can I read this part about you read anything? You can read anything. Okay, this is about j J. Calm, unflappable, pragmatic and funny mama bear. Janet Marine was a role with the punches kind of goal. She was an early bird, organized list making virgo who nevertheless embraced and accepted the fact that she had given birth to too messy late night odd balls. I love that, I know. I mean

that's what I wanted it to feel. I wanted it to feel, you know, like for anybody out there who everybody's dealt a certain hand in life, you know what I mean. And I feel like most people, most people aren't dealt of perfect hand. They just aren't. I it's very few people I know are delta prefet tan. I don't think I know anyone. I don't trust them, I'm not else with them and that and that I don't get it. I'm like, wait, you're you don't have like voices in your head all like, and I will say

that like I wanted it to feel hope. And by the way, a lot of people don't have somebody like my mom like, but that it literally could be anybody. It could be that you can overcome because my dad was nasty, like he just he just never liked me. And that you know, you can even be your own person that's accepting of you. It's like like that, you know. I used to feel like I say this at the end, but I used to feel like a four legged chair

where one of the legs was broken. And then I realized, like there's nothing wrong with being like a three legged stool, like and that look, even if it's just yourself, you can learn how to like balance on a pogo stick like that. It's it's not that it's okay, but that like sometimes people just can't do it. And like I spent so long trying to chase and like make it okay, and it wasn't until I sort of freed myself of like, oh, this is never gonna happen, and it never did, like

I but I sort of freed him. Like you know, his mom was tough, and yeah, you know, it wasn't like it wasn't an easy ride for him either, But I mean I certainly wouldn't wish him on anyone. But like, like I was driving myself great at a certain point when you're an adult, it's like I have no control over what happened to him younger, but like this is still affecting me now, and I gotta, I gotta. I can't keep chasing this person. That's never It's like Lucy

and Charlie Brown in the football It's never gonna happen. Yeah, And you say, like he some people just don't have the ability to love. Yeah, I think he didn't for whatever reason. Yeah yeah, yeah, And in a way it's like you you're you're having compassion for him. And you know, I was asked by a rop quarter who was kind of a dick if I'm being very honest, but like that's by reporter, of course, it was whatever I was asked by reporters, like why don't you write your dad?

Was like, like this is my story? You know what I mean, It's like I'm not here, Like, look, it doesn't mean that I wasn't affected by the guy. And it certainly didn't like it wasn't painful, and there's not still you know, there's still marks from like in my heart here like there's still but the reality is, what good is it gonna? Like you know what I mean, I wouldn't want to go on a road trip with my dad right now, like but like but like he

just couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. And then look, let me also just say, between all of this happening and me chatting with you now, there's been a lot of like therapy, introspection, group things you don't know, Like it's certainly not like the Pollyanna like, there's certainly been a lot of feelings around it. It's it's because it was driving me crazy trying to get it I didn't do it for him. I did it for me because

I was He wasn't thinking about out it. I was the one that was the lunatic trying to like get this connection or whatever. So it was I did it selfishly because I I was I was like, I can't

do this anymore. Yeah, And it's interesting. I'm always fascinated in in that j J. I mean her sort of you know, keep chugging along, uh you know, And is that how she managed to just sort of put her did she kind of put blinders on to to deal with hit him and how he was you know, I've thought about that a lot, and I think, you know, well, first of all, like love is such a mystery, Like I really felt like who knows, Like I really I do believe she just like for whatever reason, she loved

like he treated her differently. They had a different dynamic, you know. Um. But I think she also grew up in a generation where no and and her family ever got divorced and um, and I think it was very much like part of the dare. I always wondered, like I didn't know that they got married on a dare until I was like fifteen, and actually was like oh, like it was. It was illuminating, like okay, I get it now, Like okay that I get, I get. I

couldn't add up why they were together. And I think that she, you know, she so she'd been dumped by her college boyfriend the year before, who she loved and I and she thought she was an old maid at twenty three. And I think it was very much your value at that time, Like she literally wore white gloves to work like a madman. It got chased around the

desk by her. So it was a different era. And I think, you know, maybe like her, I think her heart was fully open with her last boyfriend, who she I think she thought was she was going to marry and then she got dumped. So again, we've all I've been. I know when I've had my heart broken or had my ego and had my ego bruised. I think my dad was fun. I think she never met anybody like him. He was kind of an adventure. The other guy was like a safe, nice guy, like he was a little wild.

He took her down to South America for a month, Like it was like, oh yeah, that was like if we get married. Like so they went to South America. I think he swept her all. I think it was like this adventure, that this very good, leave it to be for a lady, which it just the dare went on too long. But if it hadn't, I wouldn't be here. But I do think that I think her blind spot

was him. I think, you know, and it was sort of that what's sort of great about her, which I respect, is her sort of you just you know, you just she wasn't the most introspective girl. So it was like we're gonna go to t J Max and get some throw pillows and like, which I respect her sort of like on with it, roll up your sleeves, keep going. But I think, you know, it was We're definitely a generation that talks about our feelings more, I think in

general in this nation. And I think she just wanted everything. It's like it's everything has to sort of look fine because that's how she was brought up. I mean, was it I know your perild? Are you when your parents got divorced? Actually I was in my early twenties. Yeah, so they kind of they kind of held that held it up, held on for a while. Yeah, and they weren't a good match. No, neither of mine really, but they had something they I think they did, and Janet

had something. I agree with you, and I actually feel like I actually feel like she missed him, Like I actually feel like that's part. I feel like I agree with you, and he did treat her, you know what I wished for more for her, Yeah, you know, but like again, I think as an adult, I spent so many years going why it was like, it's kind of none of my business. Like at a certain point, love

is a miss street. It's like who I certainly have had a soft spot for somebody that perhaps my friends were like wait what oh heck, yeah, same everybody has. And I think in like your your mom, Like she was happy, you know, she was happy, positive energy, and that is such a good That's what we wanted a mother, you know. Yeah, I feel for that. Yeah, and the fact that she didn't let oh, Willie's you know, you know, emotional absence get her down or whatever, just his lack

of interest in fathering. And I think she was happy to have my brother and I to herself. I mean, like we had the best time. I mean truly, we were the three Musketeers. We like when it was just like we laughed. We it was like it was we just laughed and laughed. My brother is amazing, he's and he is going to be at the show. He's completely I mean you've met my brother. It's like on the outside we seem like polar opposite and yet we are

like Yin and yang. We're completely created by the same like the same maker created both of us were fully J. J. Marines creations. Because she really fanned into us. Not in a way that was like all my kids deserved trophies, but it was like, what makes your tail wag? What's your special gift protected? You don't need to go to fancy college. You don't, It doesn't it's not about the fancy stuff. What's your special gift to give to the world. And and my brother, he has a different path, but

he's completely created by the same person. Yeah, thank god. She really she balanced it out, like she tipped the scale you know, to loving, nurturing, supportive, and and then she butter. But she was hard, I mean, like her her number one rule in life was don't be a drip. Like yeah, no, I could see that being hard too as a kid, Like we can't sit around and feel sorry for ourselves because sometimes you just need to sit

around and feel sorry for yourself. Oh no, trust in that, like no, yeah, there's no. It's like you gotta get on, get over it and get on with it. It's a very new England side. Yeah. Yeah. Can we talk about Alaric's head? Yes, so we can take what sheeaty head? God, that cracks me out. You want to describe for our listeners what cheaty head is? Well? When Aleric, Well, first of all, you describe Aleric. He's wearing when he's like how old he's wearing like giant businessman glasses. So he

was born blind in one eye. So even he's one of those babies like which I love a baby and a pair of glasses. And his eye was like literally like when I was looking at you, and the other eye was looking at like to like you know, and so they it wasn't until it was like two that they had surgically corrected that they both would look at you. But at back in the day, they didn't they didn't know how to like because his eyesight was so bad, they didn't know how to like thin out the lenses.

So it's the largest businessman like a toddler and full like thick businessman coke blah blah glasses, Are you kidding me? The cutest thing, huge head, and he had a melon head. He had a giant knock. He has a huge head. The best part was my mom. He also was born bald on top with like with like long monk hair, and my mom, my mom later on confess she was like that, you're I mean, I don't have kids. But

she's like, she's like, your chemicals are so bad. Ship when you give it, she goes, I couldn't believe I had given birth to the most beautiful baby, everything given. She was like, I really didn't realize that one I was looking the wrong way. And he had like a full head of like monk hair. But like so his head was so large that she would catch him just leaning. And she also didn't know he was anemic, so she

just thought he was really mellow as a baby. Like she didn't know it was complete iron deficiency, that he just sat still all because he had no iron and him and they didn't know that. So he so but she saw him was like a toddler, even as she would find him and hit him, resting his gigantic head on a table and she'd be like, Aleric, are you okay, And she's like, He's like, it's just so heavy, it's so big, you don't know how hard it just to

hold it up. So, by the way, yeah, cutest fucking kid you've ever seen, like just adorable, huge head, giant glasses, genius. So yes, So he had glasses, businessman glasses. He's about probably at this point with sheet he had, he was probably like four. Oh. So he's just a cute little

four year old with a giant head and glasses. And he created a sort of invisible friend or no, I guess it was like he basically had a crib sheet white a white crib sheet, a fitted crib sheet, crib sheet that he would put over his head and with the elastic part on his forehead and there's a photo in the book and he would on and he could use it like a cape or a cloak, or if he got scared, he could roll up into it like a ball and nobody could see him. He could be

a ghost. And it was like his it's equivalent of like his blankie or his banky, but it was called sheety head and it was very versatile and he would run with it like a cape. And then there's this story in the book of how the day Sheety had, my mom had had enough of Sheety had, and it was tough for Sheet. He had to go missing when they took the ferry to go see my grandparents. If it's time for sheet, he had to go buy she

because she'd had enough of her she. Like that's the thing about j J. I feel like parents today are just so accepting of their kids. She's like, I don't want no weird o kid running around, no Sheety Like it was just like so eighties good ome with it, Like that's a little weird for me. Don't be a drip. Okay, we're taking that freaking Sheety head off your head. Like

I don't think so. I'm not on my watch. Yeah, I mean, you know there's it's like that's why there's like an age where you know, you kind of gotta stop breastfeeding at a certain age, like you gotta you gotta gotta throw sheet he had away at some point. Can we discuss my favorite story about you and breastfeeding? Can we discuss a friend of yours who was breastfeeding there like adult child on New Year's Eve and you like, hooked up with somebody. It was like New Year's Day.

Oh it was. It was New Year's Day. We were sitting at we were sitting at an outdoor cafe. Yeah, and he said he wanted to, you know, breastfeed. He said, it's like in a complete sentence. Yeah, he requested it. And she was like, you know, she's trying to wean him off. And she was like, well, if you're gonna do it, you have to, you know, go under the blanket because people will think it's inappropriate. Basically five or six at this point, he's like five. I think he

was like maybe four and a half or something. Okay, okay, but he was talking. Yeah, I mean he's he's a dog. I love this child, and I love I love his parents. Um, but I was we were I was telling them about these two guys that I had been dating. Um, and I was describing one and then she my friend, you know, we aren't you talking about sleeping with one of them? I think you were talking about sleeping with one of them, Like,

I mean, I think you know, I was. Yeah, I was talking to my adult friends without Yeah, some you know dating story, like I had hooked up with somebody and not even dating. Yeah, it was anyway. So then she told him he needs to take a nap, and he was like, but I want to hear about the other guy. Yes, that to me, And I was like, did he just wait? Is he he was listening? He was listening. He wanted to know about He wanted don't

know about bachelor number two behind the second door. The first one had taken you home, but what he wanted to know about bachelor number two. He didn't listen to the whole thing. And he is one of those kids that loves talking to grown ups, which is so cute. So yeah, there's a there is a story for your book. You that is a great and your dad, your dad is um a different kind of quirky dead but I'm gonna say equally as quirky. Gary Lise has been to

Burning Man with her dad. Her dad has built this loft of this is the coolest thing out of like a warehouse. Or he's like, will did this stage and hosted raves and Gary's Gary and Willie are like equally quirky on different journeys. It would be so priceless if those two men could have been in the same room they would have loved each other. I think, oh my god, are you By the way, if you weren't Willie's kid, everybody loved Willie. It was this hard. You just don't

want to be a kid. That was. Yeah that you talked about that in the book to oh the work ethics thing. Uh, you know your mom had this great work ethic and she became a real estate agent. Yeah, but your dad basically like once you guys knew us a little Compton was just like retired, you know, at like thirty, at like thirty, did your mom supporting he? I was Again, you're like it was at New England house without a lot of information, so you're like sort

of a little kid piecing it together. I get the feeling. You know, they bought their house for not a ton of money, you know it was and so he had enough of a little hit, a little bit of money that would cover enough to cover himself. So so j J, so j J went to work and would she liked because she liked working. She was a working gal and she got her because there's not that many business choices

in Little Compton. You're like a cop or a lobster men, or you work at the gas station or you're a plumber. So she sold houses, which was which is great, and he but she would pay. She paid for Alaric and I and herself. And then your dad decided at one point in sixties to go back to work just during tax season because he was a c p A. He was a c p A. He went back to work three months a year at he was at an all ladies accounting firm. And it was the most fascinating thing

because what was his persona at work, Lisa. He was like this teddy bear who like you know, he talked to the you know, gave the girls dating advice, and he brought them brought them baby shower gifts and like they love He was like a sweetheart. They loved him so bizarre, so bizarre quit Honestly, That's why I really believe, And in the book I've got like a few little tips in there. I really believe work is good for the soul. I really believe, even like a a B

job or I don't believe there's a B job. I think it's all one that like it's good to go connect with people. It makes you feel good about yourself, and that particularly if you're you know, in the creative his arts, and like, you know, when we started in New York and everybody had day jobs and you know everybody and so um, I wasn't. It wasn't until I moved out here that I was like, where does it?

What does everybody? How do people pay their bills? And so but that, but that if you have at least if you know that you can pay next month's rent, so that when you go on on audition or you're touring as a musician, or if you have a painting you want to soul, whatever your deal is, that you're

not demanding that you need to book that job. You're not demanding so much of your art that like it adds that frenzy into it that if you know your bills are covered, it it's like, all there's no shame in that game to me, And I think I got that from my mom totally. And I always felt that way, like I never wanted to to depend solely on my art for my income because it just put too much pressure on it, and then it made it not fun.

Then it was super stressful and desperate in a way, you know too, and then you get isolated when you're not out working and like and I also think as a creative person. Look, I didn't want to go do stand up and a dog casino, but then you get the funny story of doing stand up and it done. Like I feel like no matter what you're what your medium is, all of your interactions. You know, if you're

working at a mailbox place, you got the crazy customer. Like, anything you're doing I think keeps you engaged enough that you it can be creative fuel for whatever you're working on. Absolutely, and I will say about your book, you know, not only is it like fun and entertaining and hilarious and heart in heartfelt there I love that the there's like

nuggets of wisdom peppered throughout. And You've I've always you know, you've given I. I still think about your nuggets of wisdom that you like, Uh, you told me what you know because you know I've had some bad luck with dating. What is the other guy? Like? Like, yeah, I've had a bad picker. Oh until very recently have I started actually refining my picker. It's hard to refine the picture.

It's hard. It's hard. One of the things I remember you telling me that I've always actually stuck to is I think you said like in the first three months maybe, or don't talk about your family stuff and don't don't talk about x X I I I get and I feel like one of the things I wanted to write in the book in a fun way, but because I I grew up with this odd road map and there was so much great stuff, I got a real belief

in going for it and creative stuff. But like as far as like personal life, my parents married on a dare, my roadmap was nuts, Like I didn't know how to set boundaries with friends or with guys, Like there were certain parts of adulthood I didn't know how to do.

And I feel like i've actually really it's been like a student of like a happy life and really really worked out because I again growing up in this tiny town with the general like I really had to learn almost like a cult member coming out into society, like how do I do this? And so there's a lot of stuff in the book take it, take what you

likely with the rest, but that um, yeah. So one of the things was I think because I did grow up with sort of a tough dad, I felt like, secretly, you know what I believed I had a lot of shame. I felt like a lot. I believed a lot of what he told me about myself. And so I was afraid that if you met me at a part and I seem fun and sparkly, but if you got to know me, there was like some darkness. I was worried that I'd scare people off. And and so I would

almost like trauma bond. So it's like I always just wanted to tell people right away or tell people like and I almost use it as like this connection or have somebody screwed me over my bed or whatever, And like I learned, like why then you just keep perpetuating the same thing over and over. You're mostly just interacting with yourself, you know. So so it's like why I give this person in front of you the dignity of their own experience, that it's not every person you've ever dated,

it's not every person. They're not out to get you, like why I have a blank slate and like and I and at first I did not know what to talk about. So I would have to go see I would go see like documentaries, and then I would go to like museum exhibits, and I would just find like literally what do you talk about if you're not trauma bonding?

So it was like it was retraining my brain. I didn't know how to do it, but just to see if you like each other, like not everybody used to know all your secrets right away, Like and it's not all about the negative everybody that's ever screwed you over. It's so glass half empty, you're almost just setting it up to happen again, you know. So true, and I

think it's just so common, it's hard. When we were watching The Bachelor, we commented on that like all the girls, the first thing out of their mouth is, oh, I was abused and the terrible thing, and they couldn't wait to tell the guy. Well, and I'm sure the producers are like, that's your hook, you know, And I was like okay, like uh yeah, it's an interest, you know. It's And again I think part of going back to that rude reporter, it's like I can't help what was

said to me. That's not about me, Like the core of who I am isn't everything bad that's ever happened to me. Like it's a much more positive experience than that, Like I that's that's not my problem, Like it definitely affected me, and I got like it hurt, but like that's about the person that's doing that's not me. So why would I spend my whole book doing that? What did the reporters say? Yeah, I think he wanted me

to like be harder on my dad. And I just said, like, you know, I just had to figure out what book am I writing. This isn't Angela's ashes. I give enough to know, Like I give enough to know, like this is not the Father of the Year, but like that's that's not that's not this is a hopeful book. This is a positive book. And like I don't need to I am not the some of my war stories and

nor are you. Everybody's had stuff happen, and like if all you do is amplify the negatives and it's not just pretended didn't happen, but like but like I actually every life turned out pretty good. I'm okay, Yeah, And that's what the books about. That's what the books about, you know, in spite of the the quirks, the quirk

the quirks. Uh yeah, trying to think of some of my favorite well can we all can we talk about back to Willie Um one of his So in the book you talk about you know, basically your mom was in charge of raising the kids. But there was one thing that she had Willie do because she couldn't. Yeah,

it was too much for her, she couldn't handle. So basically she literally did all of our parenting except for one thing, and that was she actually cared for her own life and could not handle teaching my my brother and I how to drive. And because I lack focus on my brother lacks peripheral vision because he's blind, and

so we we knew how to drive. My parents, by the way, would let us drive a folk second bug, but when we were like ten, like up and down the streets, like I knew how to actually operate a vehicle. But but you know, it's if you're planning on ever leaving Little Compton and going above thirty five miles an hour or a tractor is. My dad took us up to Root outside of Boston, which is basically like the Auto Bond, but it's filled with like mass holes with

like camaros and mall bangs and uh. He taught us how to driving like the fastest most aggressive highway in America, and he took us up to the roy Rogers parking lot in his uh massa miata with his vanity plates and uh. And he gave my was one piece of advice, which you've always loved, Lisa. All he said was he was all right, kiddo. No, it wasn't even not loving. It was all right, kid, he who hesitates gets killed. I was like, what, Because he who hesitates gets killed.

Go and basically like, if you're gonna merge, merge, if you're gonna, if you're gonna get on the highway, like you can't hesitate. If you're gonna, if you're gonna change lands, better fucking change lanes. And I gotta tell you, a He's right, He's right. It's really good advice I think in life. Like if that's the one piece of advice I got from him, I have to say I think he hesitated gets killed. It works in every situation. It does, it's good at it doesn't, and and it shows in

the way you live your life. I've always said that, like that's I'm brave. I'm physically I am. I am very brave. I'm bold. I do it, I get it done. I'm careful physically with myself unless I'm filming something. If I'm filming something, I'm brave. If it's real life, I'm cautious physically. But you're not. You're not. You're the Chancellor of the Chancellor of Safety. I'm the Grand Chancellor. Which is a chapter in the book, folks, Yes, yes, I am. Can we talk about Can we talk about one part

that's in that chapter? Yeah, which I there's a lot of stuff in here that I relate to big time, which I'm sure a lot of people would relate to. Um. But you're with a group of college friends, is it? Is it? Spring break? Spring break? Spring break? A real springbreak in Lake Powell, the world's largest manmade lake in a world largest man made Like like these are nightmare. It's a nightmare. The fact that you throw in manmade lake. It's like, oh, you know, kissing chefs, like it's so

good because manmade lake. So many people would just say a lake, you know, but you're like, manmade, like it just changes things. And so every you know, everyone's like drunk on this party barge and then they go to some cliff to start cliff jumping and you're like, no, thank you. No, everyone was drunk. There was a lot of other drunk boaters around that first of all, was a redhead in the Arizona sun crying myself with drunk people on water, which is a terrible idea. Already, I

was on high alert. I didn't like it, but I was like, alright, fine. I was trying to be young and free freshman year in college, trying my best eighteen year old arden and and I grew up by the ocean. I know there's rocks underwater that you can't see, even in a man made like. I don't know what they left behind making that lake. I don't know what's in there. So they were jumping off cliffs. There was the largest cliffs I have everything. It was all the guys, and

I was like, okay, ladies, this is bullshit. We're not going. And then I turned around. They were all gone. They were up there racing everybody but me. Was like the beginning of a teen horror movie. Jumping off the lake. And I didn't want to do it because I knew it was a terrible idea. Because I didn't I didn't know how I was going to land. I knew I've been drinking. I didn't know what was under the water.

And I will say though, I am susceptible to peer pressure, and they made me jump off the lake and other people were like swan diving or like cannib and I was like, I'll just jump straight into the lake. I'll just fucking just let's just end this. Let me just this is I can't wait to be done with college. I'm so not into this. This is so not my jam. Can I read? Do you want me to read from it? Okay? Yeah, so this is from taking it where you're leaving off here? Fine,

this is art and talking. Fine, I'll jump once. Okay. I climbed up to join all the revelers and look down. It suddenly seemed a thousand feet high. I like roller coasters, but this was insane. One two, three jump. I jumped. I did not dive. I was soaring and flailing through the air feet first. Before I knew it, I was rocketing into the water. I was safe, sort of. My entry into the lake felt like what can best be described as an enema, the size of Lake Powell rushing

up my asshole I had. I had just lost my anal virginity to a manmade lake. No wait, this is my favorite part. People were swimming up to high five me. I was surprised that there was any water left for anyone else to swim in, as surely all of it had moved into my lower body cavity. There was so much water up my asshole. It hurts so much. It was so good an enema. I got an enema once water skiing, you've had that, you've had it? Did you have to find a bathroom fast? There was a liquidation

that had to happen. It was look you and I've discussed on the podcast on our Patreon which you can go to now you can get like a hundred extra episodes if you're like a girl, I just want I want to watch people dating. We've discussed on our Patreon episode when you're in a panic and it's time. I don't know if there was ever as larger an emergency as there was that day, because I was with forty women and men from my college who I had still

had four years to go with as a freshman. No bathroom, no bathroom nearby, because I was at a man made lake, use with a party barge, not a cigarette boat to get me. That's not a fast moving vehicle. That was I'm gonna say code red like code fire, like next level panic, just the level of panic that was. I will say this, when I set out to write the book, I really went like channeling the worst moments of mine, like just at did it? Did it? Did us by going?

Did us buying the vibrating cock rings for the party machine end up in the book, because I've had that in drafts with the guy, you and I. You and I had a baby shower party. This was This was in a draft. We did a bachelor at party. And so you and I, who are not party for party for party machines, so a party machine bachelorette party. So you know what every time at a bachelor party they

have like penis headbands and penis necklaces. So we went in New York City to like some like a sextor like Horny World or whatever on like seven that and it was covered in dust. We were all about the props. It was all about the props. And it was like really dumb, like a light up penis headband things like that.

And I remember, so this was in a draft. It didn't end up in it, but I remember the guy eating like a gray pile of meat with his hands like a pile of meat with ketchup and meat shoveling it in, and you were so because you grew up in a like a very very religious family. You were not even allowed to listen to secular music, Like you don't know any pop culture efferences because you didn't you

were it was a very very very religious family. You in a sex store with this man who was shoveling meat in with his hands, and I'm I'm not like the racist gal around. You went up to the counter and you said, oh, what's this as we were purchasing things, and he was like, that's the vibrating the vibrating cockering and you're like, oh, he goes, he goes, you put

it up. Yeah, what it was basically was saying it was like, yeah, like I put it on and it tickles your clip and you were like like like watching you, it was everything and there was covered in dust, looking at catchup and gray meat, atching this man talk about how he was going to put it on himself, and watching you still try to be polite with like a lighted his headband on your head. Hey, yeah, And I so basically you catalog when for me, when I was

writing the book, I was cataloging. It was basically like worst off. You know what I mean, you catalog worst up? Yeah, I mean it's just rich. That's what I think. If I could use one word, this book is rich. But but the bones zone. Let's get in the bone zone, guys. So overall, if somebody was on the fence and they haven't bought it yet, Lisa, is there any final thing that you want to leave the listeners with? There's so much humping dogs. Oh, I want Here's what I wanted

to talk about. J J. And you talked about how you grew up with um. I guess was it JJ's mom, Hilda? Yeah, it was was really it was a card shark. I mean that's whole. There's this whole part in there about you growing up in grandmother like teaching out to play poker and amazing, and then you end up going to a casino. I mean was But I just wanted to talk about when you and I played cards with j J. Oh my god, that's right. So j J was out here.

JJ loved Lisa and I we hit it off like immediately I met you too at that at that diner at the one on one diner. And then when the first time I've met your mom after all the of knowing you. That's shocking to me because she would come to party machines, but she would probably take off what she had been to party. Yeah, she's been to party machines. And so then she met. We went to the movies I met. I can't remember, probably something dumb. We loved.

It was about that like football jock who came out as gay. Okay, I loved teen she that's perfect classic JJ. She loved it in movie. And then you came over. So she loved Lisa, so she she loved to come in to visit. She loved the girl. She's very social, butterfly, and she had just my dad had died like a couple of months earlier, and we were trying to encourage her to go on dating apps, and she didn't like it. She didn't want to date men her own age. She did,

she said, she she didn't. She ask me if you'd ever seen old man balls and that you should never see old man balls. Yes, And she had a funny story about one guy she'd gone out with. What was that story? She'd gone out with a few of them, and I think it was basically like she's so fun that they were all like yeah and that like all of them were like dud's like looking for somebody to

entertain them. And then she was like I don't want to because she hadn't been on the dating scenes since she was twenty two, so all of a sudden she still felt like she was twenty two, but she's now having to like match up with like seventy five year old guys and she's like, I don't think or as she said, homie, don't think so. Because she loved in loving Common, she would always say, how I don't think so,

but so then then you remember to visit. And then j J loved to play games, were like, let's play some cards. We taught you how to play pounds, which is like group solitaire. Yes, k J loved Lisa, but the two of us were like staring at you and could not believe how bad at cards, Like we didn't understand, like I'm so I am so bad at cards? What did my mom's face look like? You know that It was a mix of like pity, yeah, but also like respect. Okay,

you know she loved you. She was forgiving because she saw she she got it, like she's like that you weren't brought up by like maniacs, Like I was raised by maniacs, and it was like what they were into, they were super into and they're gonna make sure you're good at it too, and like they're not gonna take anything at you because you're five, like you're you just get it's that New England and gets get in the water.

We don't care that it's four degrees. We're going first swim like they are maniacs And oh my god, you didn't have the right kind of like heavy handed schooling as a young five year old. Yeah, it's a slow it's I'm a slow moving I'm slow, but I'm good. I have a t shirt with a turtle on it that says, I'm I'm may be slow, but I'm good. I am fully trying to in because I've always been the you know, like the tortoise and the hair. I've always been the hair, but the tortoise ones in the end.

So I've been trying to adopt the tortoise lifestyle because it's not my natural habitat well, I'm still our friends. That's why we're friends. That's why we're friends. That's why we're friends, and you are the one who read this, and you said art and it's not your memoir, it's your mom war. It's a mom wir. It's a lovely tribute, lovely tribute to j J, who gave herself that nickname. She was Janet until she was seventy five, and then she started signing all of her emails and texts exo JJ.

Which way I mean truly, it felt so insane to me that you could give yourself your own nickname to begin with at any age that you could give your Nobody gave it to her. Okay, she's like that, it's seventy five. You could give yourself a nickname and just go so and everybody in town calls her j J. It was just like, so, I of course I'm an want a JJ. Like to me, JJ was like a

fresh start. JJ was on the dating apps. JJ wanted to date Rob Benedict, Like, yeah, I'll call you j J. Like JJ's like she would say, like with the dating of the guys that the old men she wanted. She wanted to date Rob Benedict And she said, I don't want to be a nurse or a purse like for an old guy. I don't want to be a nurse or a person. I don't want to pay for him, and I don't want to take care of him like I've done. I don't be a nurse or a purse.

I'll date your friend, Rob, And Rob said I would date your mom. And that's where we love. He's so cute. He's cute. Up. Yeah, we love Rob well, Lisa. Yeah, I mean, I, I, you know, from somebody who doesn't really read very much and I have a hard time getting through books. I love that I introduced you as a reader, and you know what, that's the kind of friendship we have. I believe in you as a reader. I mean I have some books have I gonna read

them all. But I you know, I've read this book twice actually, and it's like I read it the second time and I felt like I hadn't ever read it before. It's because it's just I don't know, it's um I go back to the word rich, and it's just super entertaining and funny. And then there's you know, there's like some real serious kind of dealing with grief and it's kind of in the end and and h and this shout out to this podcast. I gave a shout out to the podcast in it because you know what they

showed up for me. They weren't scared of it when

it all happened. And that like the gift of it is that you can actually like the hope because I feel like the world right now is having collective like it's it's people are mourning their normal lives, some people have lost people like is that you it may not be our best year ever collectively, but you can still have some fun and we don't need to make it our worst, like you could still have some sparkles along the way, and like, and I think it's a good

book for right now. Absolutely, And what do you say about you have to walk through it? About grief like you gotta feel it to heal it. Oh man, you gotta feel it to heal it. You gotta feel it to heal it. Basically, if you don't deal with it, it's gonna deal with you, so you may as well

deal with it. But I give a fun look. Honestly, some of my healing like recommendations are literally watching stuff like The Bachelor, or watching Queer I or Great British Bake Off, or going on walks or dancing, Like it's not all like I mean like hug it out, talk about cry it out. It's only like one little part, you know. One of the upshots of grief, I'm like I was I am the biggest people pleaser, and the upshot of losing j J. I just couldn't do it anymore.

I had no skin on my body and it was just like very clear to me, who do I want to hang out with? Who don't? Like an email would come in like an invitation, and my body would just have a reaction and I would either be like yeah, I want to be with them or like no fucking way. And I couldn't force myself to people please, whereas the rest of my life I'd be like, oh I should go or I should do that or a work thing.

And uh. One of the upshots was like it became really clear like what works and who what work and just leaning into that and that I don't need to people please anymore and like that's been a really good thing. I hope that lasts for me. Yeah, And and also that you kind of in a way like you say that there's you're not there's nothing really that you can be afraid of. Anymore because the worst possible thing has happened, you know, and that much to my surprise, So that

was last year. Much to my surprise, it was also like a beautiful, great year. Like that's the thing. It can be all of it, it can be all of it. I used to be such a worry ward and you're like, I still tend to worry sometimes, but I do now and know that that's like my I don't have like there's it doesn't do anything. Yeah, let's just have it. I'm gonna first of all, Lisa, what a great interviewer, What a great interviewer NPR watch out all things considered

here he is Lisa delirious. Will you help me put so I'm gonna call people's names. If I call your name, email us and go hey, bitch, you call my name Rose Podcast at gmail dot com, and you get your choice. You tell me if you want a t shirt, if you want a little little Compton Sturdy great tote bag, or if you want a meet the authors with Arden

and Mitten's recreation on my sixth grade photo puzzle. I'm pilling four winners, and don't forget to get your tickets in advance for Dynasty Typewriter this Saturday PM Pacific a p m. Eastern. Come we can, we might pull you up, um, but it's virtual. And if you buy your ticket advance, you'll get a link and it'll go. It's only five dollars and it'll be up all week. And if you buy your book through that website, you can have me sign it to you or your loved one or somebody

you hate. I don't know, all right, at least I'm picking four winners. Tell me when to stop. Okay, okay, tell me when to stop. To pick one okay, okay. The first winner is Sue Stellic. You won the gift of your choice. Okay. Number two, tell me when to stop. Okay, stop, okay, all right. Oh she was the third person to email in. Mary Bennett. You probably bought your book back in February. You just want something, Come on, Mary, Okay, two more too, more to stop and stop? Okay. Number three, we have

Peter Lock. You just won the gift of your choice. Last one, okay, what's up? Okay? Last one we have okay, Juleane Deppen. You just one the gift of your choice. So that's Sue Stellic. Mary Bennett, Peter Lock, and Julene depp In DApp in email in say I want, tell me what you want and where to send it? Um, keep emailing in your receipts. A Little Miss Little Content comes out Tuesday, the twenty nine. It's here you, guys.

I hope you love it. If you do like it, please leave a review for it on Amazon and good Reads. It really helps, even if you haven't read it to sleep in nice review. Even if you hate it, leave a nice review. Oh Elie, Oh wait, I don't think there's any way anybody can hate this book? Well? Will you leave a nice review on good Reads? Lisa? It helps. I don't know what it does, but apparently it helps you. Guys.

We love you. There's gonna be another Feeling Thorny episode up on next Wednesday with Aaron Foley, who's so wonderful, and then we'll be back. Um, I guess it airs October to Our episode will be up October fifteenth with the coming back of the Bachelorette. And in the meantime, if you're like craving more episodes of people, Lisa, how fun is watching Bachelorette New Zealand? There's two Bachelorettes. Isn't

it fantast and the guys are nice. Yeah, it's uh, it's it's a I can't wait to watch the next episode. It's so good. It's so good. And you and m K are joy and of course Tanna Banana Dr Banana. Um. All right, you guys, um and conclusion, Katie, Lisa, thank you both and all the listeners. I certainly didn't picture my book coming out in a global pandemic. I could not feel more love. Obviously, I'm trying to get on

the New York Time Spenseller list. It's a really long shot, and I am regardless, and if I do, I'm going to force my brother to let me throw a live show him. JJ's yard were long sleeves, so you don't get that tick biting thing. But um, here's the deal, you guys. Regardless, I felt so much love, so much appreciation, and more than anything, I just can't wait for you guys to read the book, and I hope you all love it, and I hope you all feel seen, and I hope you all feel supported and that you see

a little bit of something of yourself from it. Lisa delirious. Where can people find you Oh. Instagram at Lisa Delarious Great. I'm on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook at Arta Marine, m y R I n Katie Levine. Where can people find you? I'm Katie Underscore Money on Twitter and Instagram. All right, you guys, thank you so much. Is almost here. We made it. Hopefully we'll see you at our book release party with Rob Benedict, Lauren Lobkuz, Brian Sofie, and

my brother, the creator of Shady Head, Aleric Mareen. H Oh yeah, I want to get all up and feels so good. I just gotta one puss. When you read this rule your words, your word? Will you accept this? Rose is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast from I Heeart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.