"FEELING THORNY" w/ PAGET BREWSTER

a full legend. Before we get too far into it, I'm just gonna do a little bit of just a little will you accept this Rose housekeeping up top. We just so appreciate all of you that have gone on the ride with us. Um you have. I asked for some more likes on iTunes. We're trying to get to a thousand. We're not now up to seven fifty four, and that is a bunch more than we had a couple of days ago. So again, if you haven't liked to see out on iTunes, we really appreciate it. So

we're gonna keep putting up our Feeling Thorny episodes. We have a few more, which is super fun and they've been inspired. And honestly, if I stand a chance of getting on the New York Times bestseller list with my upcoming memoir, Little Miss Little Compton, uh, it's because of you guys. You've all really risen to the challenge and we appreciate that. And as such, you are all invited and tell your family and friends. Everybody's invited. We are

doing a virtual book release party slash variety show. Um, it's five dollars to come. It's live and you can email us. You can sort of message us as we're going. We can like respond and interact with you. It is Saturday, September at five pm Pacific time. And the good thing about it is with Dynasty Typewriter, which is this really cool theater in Los Angeles that we did our draft picks last winter for those of you who came or listen.

But they're they're so great and they they actually it feels like even though it's it's not doesn't feel like a zoom link. It's literally like you get a full show experience. And right now we have lined up Lauren Lobkis, who's a fan of the Bachelor and a friend of the show. You might know her as the Wrong Missy in the movie The Wrong Missy, Isn't She's so great in that Anna she killed. She's so hilarious. That's the David Spade movie that Adam Standler produced. That's on Netflix.

She's also on Orange, This New Black, she was in Jurassic World. She was on the show Crashing. She was on Big Bang Theory. So she is um. She and I are sort of hosting it together. And then we have a couple of very special guests. So far lined up, we have Mr Brian Sophie will be appearing and he you might know him from our podcast, but he's also the host of Throwing Shade and he's the co host of Asked Rona with Ronna and Brian, which is a brilliant podcast that I just love so much that I've

been on. It's hilarious. He's so freaking funny, isn't he hand one of the funniest, truly one of the funniest. He's also on One on Fox with Jennifer Jennifer. I was about to say Jennifer Lawrence Jenner, Jay, Jennifer Love, Jennifer Love, Hughitt, The Jennifer Lawrence of Fox Shows. But another thing that we want to tell you, so we're not going to We're gonna take a break so I can launch my book. We're not going to be watching

a new show right now before Claire season. So we are putting up new episodes with the feeling thorny episodes. But if you're jones ing and you're like Arden, it's a pandemic, I'm in trouble. The good news is any episode, any season that we watched, it would have already aired. It would have already happened. So if you want more on our Patreon, we are currently doing Bachelorette New Zealand.

We also have past seasons of Bachelor Australia, Bachelorette Australia, Bachelor, we did Love Is Blind, We're doing Real Housewives of New York and UM Bachelor in Paradise, season one and two of Bachelor Australia. And what's so fun about that is HBO Max actually now finally is starting to air some of these seasons so it's easier for you to watch, like on your couch. You can also watch them on

Bachelor archive dot com. But um, HBO Max is putting up with Anna, and I think is the best season I've ever seen of the franchise Bachelor in Paradise, Australia. Season one. There's like three couples that are like Carly and Evan, and we break it down every episode with Brian Sofie, who's going to be at our live show the book released party and it's gonna be a real party. And if you want to listen along, you go back to and the first episode is called Riding the Bipolar High.

What can you tell our fans about that Patreon experience, Anna, Well, one, we were oh man, we were so young. Then when we recorded, we were, yeah, like we were really truly having fun. It was our first experience with like an Australian series and it was truly blowing us away, Like we loved it and I wish I wish to get that kind of joy back in life. You know, us trying to do all the accents, Brian switching his eyes closed,

trying to the accents. I mean, so fucking joyful. If you guys are in need, this is the this is the podcast equivalent of like a cocktail or a prozac or a good meditation. I don't know where your sobriety issues are. I'm not trying to push anything on anyone UM. And in conclusion, I will say it was very fun and cool about the Dynasty Typewriter book party. So we also have another person. So we've got me Lauren Lobkiz, we have uh Brian Sofie and Bachelor of the Year

Rob Benedict is going to come on. He's going to like chat with us, tell a story, and he's going to I've requested UM a specific song and I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it might be a Katy Perry cover because J J. Marine loved Katy Perry and he's agreed to learn. I asked between Katy Perry, my mom loved Katy Perry and she loved Britney Spears. He picked Katy Perry and he is going to close out the show with a Katy Perry cover. There's also going to be some special surprise guests, so

get your tickets now is five dollars. It's on our Facebook page. Literally It's a fun at five pm Pacific on September twenty six. The link will be up for a week, so even if you can't join live you can enjoy it afterwards and if you they have a bundle going that if you get your book through there. Um, we've partnered with Skylight Books and loose Field. It's California, and they're doing a thing where you can get a

custom signed book plate. So if you're like I want to get my friend Mary a book plate for her birthday, I can sign out dear Mary, happy birthday. So you can order and you can tell me who to make it out to. I will sign a book to you

or a loved one. Or if you're like art and I don't want to come to your show, I just want to book plate and I want a bag for I don't even know if they have the bags left, but the website we tell you for the first two people who got for the price of the book, you get a little miss Little Compton tope bag and a sign book plate. Um. And then the second to fifties just to sign book plate, you can go to Art and Marine book dot com. It's also on our Facebook page.

But A R D E N M Y R I N book dot com and uh get that there without further ado. This person that we're breaking down in this episode of filling Thorny is our Secretary of State. Paget Brewster. Anna, this episode is fascinating. It was fascinating to hear from Paget and get to know her more. We went to the same high school and we tell a crazy story about our art teacher that allowed nude models. And I've never met somebody in Los Angeles. I've done this a

long time. I've never met somebody that actually almost like a nineteen fifties old fashioned movie star where they're like, we're gonna make you a star kid, Like she literally is the only person I know that Hollywood just decided they went out of their way to make her a star. And it was fascinating to talk to her. Tanna, what did you think that's I mean, it makes sense because Paget is a star and everything about her like I I mean, I was somewhat not surprised. I was like, yes,

makes sense. She was this beautiful young woman. She was Hollywood was dying for a Paget Brewster. Yes, and Hollywood was like, we know there's not gonna be another one, like this is it? And um, you know, We've got in some really great responses. I love that people are enjoying the feeling thorny episodes. Um, they're a little more look, I feel like in these times like this, we have our fun, crazy parties, but it's also nice just to get a little bit grounded and get to know who

you're listening to. And we hope it makes you, guys feel connected and and that you enjoy it. And we can't wait to be back breaking down. Some people fall in love in a hundred and ninety degree heat quarantined in a bubble somewhere deep deep in the desert. But we really appreciate all of your support and we hope you come to our party, our book release party, um, and you can message us as we're going, so like we want to feel like we're at a live show

because we have the best live shows with you guys. Yeah, sorry, coming out until please come hing out and tell your friends. It doesn't matter what time zone you're in, anytime zone, okay, by welcome to Will you accept this Rose a production of I Heart Radio. Oh my God, our back. We're back in our safe place. Yeah yeah, it's the same pod, but it's a top shoot you interest, it's an option, it's a bonus option where feels right, I don't know

what's what. He's the best. I love Mark Rivers. Mark Rovers, You've probably never heard your song played on the podcast before, but god, he did such a good job. And wait when there's somebody else talented out there and his name is Avery, you know what time it is. It's time for hard to get a little close and a little thorny. Well, what's gonna go? One on one? Gonna be energy, fun, colors are gonna be super real. Wants to get sory Marie. Oh my god, oh my god. Hello, thank you very much,

Avery Pierson. Welcome to a very special episode of Will You Expect This Rose Bonus offshoot Feeling Thorny. My name is Arte Marine, and I am so happy to be doing a Feeling Thorny with a very special person. She's in the clubhouse today. She's looking so cute in her winter where she's showing up looking so cute in her jeans that cannot possibly be right? A jeans? There they are? They can not? No, awesomely they right. Ladies and gentlemen. You may know her from the will You Accept This

It's franchise. You may know her from Criminal Minds. You may know her from another period. You may know her from Thrilling Adventure Hour. I know her as my friends Secretary of State Pageant Proston. Are you now? For those of you out there who are like, wait, what is this? For those of you who don't know, I have a book coming out this fall and there is a link up right now so you can preorder your book. And the reason I'm doing this this podcast is the process

of writing it. It was about my my childhood and growing up in my life now. But I felt like it forced me to take a look at myself and my adolescence and whatnot, and I it was an interesting process and I wanted to get to know the people that are on our podcast and here like what made you you? That's why we're doing that, I see. So if you're out there, you know what, please just go

preorder preorder the book right just go on Amazon. Can I preorder Kindle Candle, A Little Miss, a Little Compton, um So Paget Brewster, Hello, welcome you, and I first of all, you're you. Are you wearing adorable jeans? You say they're always from these are right age Jaggings? How much do they cause? I think there are sevent Can you stand up for one? Can I look at these?

Do you only wear right A jeans? They're so I get the nice ones now look fake pocket, fake pocket, fake fly, real pocket pocket, and they are so cute they're just comfy. How many pairs do you on? Um? I have three of these? Because I did? I did? You know, sometimes I stay in them and now I'm old and wealthy enough to donate those and get a new pair. Do they come in like a box on a hanger, so it's like a plastic hanger and a piece of cardboard around it. Like tights are called right

age jagging their right A brand. Well, no, they're not right A brand. They might be no nonsense. I want to say, okay, by no non that's what I only wear no nonsense socks. They're the best, so they're great. I also got to tell you, staring at your beautiful lashes, that you told me to get um and I had to have it shipped to New York to my brothers, and I did, and I went and got my hands on it, and my I've I've got lots of compliments

my lashes. Now, I'm I'm a little worse for the where today, but they've got they they have gotten longer. You're gotten longer, got longer. I mean, how long do you do it? Every day? I do it every day. I haven't done it every day. Well, they say you can do it every other day, and there are days when I forget, so it probably equals out to every other I gotta start doing it every day. But but

here's the thing. I've been noticing that they're curling because I'm falling asleep on there so long that I'm falling asleep on them, and then they're curling. So some of them are straight, and then some of them are curling. So it is definitely a process. How sure were they to begin with? I don't remember. Honestly, I've been doing this ten years. I'm gonna do it. I don't remember. Did it happen right away or did to take a

couple of weeks? For me, it took nothing, happened for two weeks, and then I woke up and they were long. I haven't. I'm prone to getting sties, so I when I've noticed my I keep threatening to grow a sty. So I haven't been doing it every day. No, no no, no, no, you should be careful. Yes, So I'm prone to my Eyelid loves to grow a sty So I'm sort of would say I've been inconsistent with it, but but it's then do it, then don't then do exactly what you're doing.

Been in consistent, but it's been working, okay, Paget, First of all, such a treat, such a joy to get to know you on the podcast. Can I say, because I've known you for a long time, but actually so nice to get to know you. And here's what's interesting. Paget grew up so we talked about in the eron fully episode will air Pagett's after like I got shipped away to boarding school because my town didn't have a high school. And Paget grew up on the campus and

went to the school. What building did you grow up in? I grew up in clay House, So this was in Conquered Restachusetts. It's a school of three people in the woods. My mother to out a mortgage, like a third mortgage to send us. She said she was going to run out of money for college, which she did. She was like, you need to get a good education. I didn't get a good education. I'm sending you to boarding school. Um, you grew up in Clayhouse. That was a boys dorm.

It was a boy's nerdy person. It was at the science boys dorm, I think so, yeah, because the science teacher was the other apartment in the dorm. What was it like growing up on the campus of a New England boardings H Well, I mean it was fantastic, yeah, because it was my brother and I and all of the other faculty kids. There were a bunch of kids, our ages. We were in a completely safe environment. Truly, the prettiest that movie School Tie, It's so beautiful. It's

like a perfect campus. Around the circle in the woods near Walden there's a church and a big circular the dining hall, and then there's near Little Women like picture Little Women, but like in this was the town where little Women. Yeah, where Louise may Alcott lived. So would you just go out and play with all the other kids. And we had an ice skating rank, and we had a library and a pond, and we had playing fields in tennis courts, we had dining where you got brought

home from the hospital. That's where you know, I think. Actually my dad was working for my my mother's father in banking and he hated it and so once I was born, my dad said to my mom, I just want to teach, and my mom did too, so uh, he got a job at Middlesex as an English teacher, and then he started coaching. He was the coach for hockey and soccer and crew. That mean, those are big sports. And my mom, uh was the ceramics teacher. Okay, did you have so many questions? Did you eat at the

dining hall? Yes? We did every night. No, not every night because my mom started becoming a really experimental cook around. I would say when I was in ten or eleven and my brother was seven or right, was it fun to eat at the dining hall? Oh? It was the best? Yeah? And what way? Well, first of all, it felt like if you're a little kid and you're in a uh,

you know, a cafeteria. It's all students. Some of them are your babysitters, and you know all the teachers, and you know all the other kids who are growing up on the campus. So it felt like a party and you get in line and you get I mean, to this day, a cafeteria is so satisfying. If I love a buffet, I love it like a cheap buffet. I

like that, like a supe plantation. I love it. I want to get a bunch of little things that I can I loved being able to go to the cafeteria, but when we went with our parents, if we had to sit with our parents, and our parents made us get, you know, a bunch of vegetables that we didn't want. There was actually in the dining hall at Middlesex. The

walls are lined with what is the senior project. But when a senior graduates from Middlesex, they have to carve a little um wooden plaque eight by eight inch wooden plaque with a depiction of something or you know, something that represents them. And those are the entire you know, floor to ceiling of this very very large Hogwarts. Yeah, exactly, And that is kind of what it looks like. It

looks like Hogwarts. There was one carved. The senior had carved a brick wall with a hole in it right as if the brick wall had had crumbled through, and all of the faculty kids, we would throw all the vegetables we didn't want into that hole. After a few years they had to tear out that part of the wall and dig out all the day it was discussed I remember when I went to school there, and I will not say her name, but there was a girl who got kicked out. She was like a rich New

Yorker and she she went, she went nuts. She like a feel like a mental break. One night and she broke out of her dorm. She was a senior and I was a sophomore, and she um, she broke into the main like academic building. I heardget the name of it. What was that building? Whatever? The whatever, the big the big main building, main administration building. And she went downstairs and in all the plaques she shoved like killed bossa sausage like in the holes of the plaques. We like

shoved all the sausages and all the holes. And then she went into the girl's room and she shoved sausages in all of the toilets like like like like like f fulls of sausages and all the toilets and flushed all the toilets, so it flooded with sausages. And the holes are the plaques. And she got said she got expelled m and she like wrote all the ship but it was like she was I just remember her jamming sausages and all the holes. If that's not the most

sexually repressed. I mean the Anna shocked. Ana. What are your thoughts why? I think it's such an uptight place and if like your she wasn't super cool, she wasn't like like I'd fully fit in there. I mean, it's a very preppy school, and I think I think she just maybe was acting out like funk this place, but she acted alonely, she did that alone. Well, that's I mean, here's the thing. I was asked to leave you in my sophomore year. I was failing because I was trying

to fit in. But a lot of the students and I went there before you did because I'm a couple of years older than you. A lot of the kids

there were very, very wealthy, so South American. There were kids from China and England, and it was a lot of New Yorkers and their parents just their parents almost had kids because they were supposed to as what I felt like, and so these kids were so they were acting out, and they were lonely and rich, and there were a lot of drugs, a lot of drinking, and sometimes these kids would a helicopter would land right in the middle in front of the church, had to pick

up the New York kids one by one flight to New York and they'd be dropped off on Sunday night. We didn't know that that girl might have been just that was just a desperate cry for attention from her parents for we didn't have helicopters. That's crazy. Wow, it was wild. There were the heirs of everything. I mean, we huge corporations. These kids were going to school at Middlesex. I remember there were you know, because we didn't have

that money. And I remember the beauty and the beauty of a boarding school is like nobody knows what your house looks like, and nobody like like we all knew who all the rich people were because they only hung out with each other. But um, you could kind of hide stuff because nobody knows your house, your family, like nobody knows anything but about you. It's like college kind of. But I do remember going to um uh graduation parties

and just the size of these houses. Like somebody at the time it was like the nineties and like somebody high, like somebody's family hired Blues Traveler, which was like the band at the time, like Blues Like the drummer was like hitting on one of the girls you know, it's just like who hires Like I kind of felt like the parents might have been in the mob. It felt like a mob. It felt like a locust valley, but mafia s. It was just like it was so great one kid's parents on the bio dome. It was it

was nuts. It was not okay. So you grew up, you grew up on that camp and was I mean it's also surrounded by teenagers. Was that formative? Like how did that? Like? How to me teenagers are so exciting? And like did you sort of watch them? Were you aware or was it more just about the other kids, the other faculty kids? Like when were you sort of

watching the teenagers? I probably probably when I, you know, twelve thirteen, and then I was going to school there when I was fourteen, I would say eleven twelve of thirteen,

I started paying attention to the students. I do remember, and I it must have been nineteen seventy, nineteen seventies seven the school went co ed. I think it had only been boys at that point and I was born in sixty nine, so there were girls in the dormitory and a couple of high school girls got me stoned, and I had to have been eight, and I remember I remember smoking hot and then watching a girl blow dry her hair for what felt like hours, and I

was so mesmerized. So there was well, there was an element of listen, horrible things could have happened that didn't, Thank God, you know what I mean, Like I mean, because we were free. We were just free to go wherever we wanted. Of course we couldn't just go walk around into dorm rooms, but you know, the teenagers would see kids and be like, come on, come up to

my room and hang out. Well, I felt like and I felt like even you know, and looking back and writing a lot of my stuff in the eighties, I felt like the no, they would just take it. It It rated our movie like there was no babysitter. The babysitter was the TV. You know, like there's like you're sort of freer, like if you can bike and just come back by dark and like it's very stranger things like like Charlie Brown. I feel like they, oh, yeah, no,

Dolts are not on your bike. Yeah, and just make sure you're home before dark and knock on the door when you're home. You'll be home by ten. When I was thirteen, fourteen. It was when I was younger. My brother and I would just ride our bikes around little kids and come back when it's come back when the sun when the sun starts. I know, I was like six or seven. I remember. Yeah. It was like we would come back and we will go to the dining hall or mom would make some weird ship which was great.

Did you did you get kicked out? And so where did you go? Part of the UM c H d H. I went to conqueror call out public High? Yeah. UM for part of the payment. You know, my parents made combined as teachers, thirteen thousand a year, and it was they you know, they just weren't Their housing was paid for and we could go to the cafeteria. So they made they didn't make a living wage. Technically if you if you at that time, you just that just you wouldn't be able to support a family of four on

you know. My mom was only allowed to teach for a few years and then they made a rule saying spouses couldn't work. And so part of their payment was if their kids grades were good enough, their kids could go to Middlesex for free. And Middlesex was a great school. It maybe had some troubled kids, but they had great teachers and it was a valuable education. So I my grades were good enough. I started attending. I went freshman year, and I was an outcast because my parents were teachers there,

so everyone knew. You know, I lived in the dorm. It was like, there's a welfare case. Tough girls. Yeah, certainly didn't fit right in. I had like three and it's a tough school. It's not for everyone. Did you graduate from that? I did, but I have to say, like, and I have. I have gone back to a couple I went to a couple of reunions, and I remember going, oh, it wasn't just like it wasn't just that I was sixteen that I didn't fit in like or that I

didn't relate. I'm not. I don't relate like I'm not. I was just saying this to Aaron, like what the beauty of it was, I'm not a lacrosse player or feel like like my interest. The beauty of them not being interested in any of the stuff I was interested in is nobody wanted. Nobody cared about the theater, so I could just write places and put them. I had access to stuff that Nolan was looking at because nobody cared and they thought it was uncool. It was uncool.

It was uncool. What was interesting was the too funniest people that were there with me have gone on. They've both become like it's Alex Sulkin, who's the sulk who who wrote Ted and he writes for Family God, and then it's John Viner rights for family. Like so it was like the three of us were doing stuff in the theater and then there was all the other jobs. But like, it's interesting that none of us had any connections, you know, and like, but everybody made it from there,

which is odd to me. Your friends, I we were like pals. It was like the three of us were the ones that were sort of the funny ones, but but not John was like the president of the school. He was like that. But like, you know, we were like not, no, we were not the king and Queen of the proms. I don't know, I know, I know exactly who who they were. I grew up around it and it was very money centric and old old boy,

old boy network. And it's also you. I I can't I can't imagine it was different for you and it was for me because it was just gawky artsy. I didn't make sense ass not enough money, not you know, I didn't know enough about it. There were things like these kids were so rich that they wouldn't know about food. I'd never heard of it. And then I would be an idiot that I, oh, you've never been to Prague

like fucking progue. I know, you know you just I know, I know, I remember, like I never heard of like a rugala or like balsamic. You know, you're like, oh my god, like you don't eat catalina dressing and iceberg lattice like you fancy like it's it's wild. Yeah. It was just a different world completely. We were stove First, like like a fancy Knight was like a French bread pizza from stove First, which by the way, delicious. So I said, then you went to you went to Parsons.

I did, well, here's what happened, just to quickly go through. So I was asked to leave Middlesex. I um, I went to Conquered call Out Public High School for the second half of my sophomore year. That's hard. And then it was hard because they though I was a rich kid because I leave Candling so it was just I

was just like, Okay, your mother, it must be. And then I begged my parents because up until I went to Middlesex, I had gone to all girls schools because my parents were educators and they they borrowed money from my grandparents. They their priority was making sure my brother and I went to the best school possible that my mom did. It was heartbreaking Middlesex didn't work out for them because they were hoping so much that you know,

that that would be covered. And so I begged them to send me back to girls school because I had been to private girls schools, day schools up until middle six. Then um my school, I know. I went to a girls boarding school in upstate New York or well in Westchester County, New York and Dobbs Ferry called the Master's School, which is where my mom graduated from. So so that was great. I I enjoyed um girls school because the pressure what's going on in a in a co ed

school system just didn't fit for me. I didn't fit in. I wasn't popular, I wasn't hot, I wasn't part of a couple. It wasn't like I just was a fringe heartner freak who made her own clothes out of goodwill jackets, and I made my own job perse I wore I mean I I would other men's pants, and there's a hall of chapter that I only wore knickers until I mean literally, I were like purple knickers that and then like bowler hats, some circle skirts and vests like yeah.

It was like no, no, no, I didn't have like the thin swinging ponytail like well, I played lacrosse, okay. So so you go to the girls school, to the girls school, graduated okay, and went to Parsons School of Design in New York City, studying just foundation year. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I knew, I knew, honestly. I I still feel bad about this, my parents. I

feel guilty about it. I had always been in advanced art classes, so I knew I could get in at Parsons and Pratt and all the I wanted to be in New York City because I wanted to pursue acting. And I didn't have the courage to tell my parents parents that I wanted to act, because that is it's unheard of. I like, the art school is the safe choice. It's like they called into somebody going to school, like, yeah,

I haven't got a art school. Art school was okay because my mom's an artist as ceramicist and uh, but that was still like there was still sort of an old patriarchical society that I that my when I was growing up, it was coming to an end. Suddenly in the seventies there were you know, divorces and women in the workforce in a way that hadn't existed before. So when I was a little kid, it was assumed that I would go to college for a year or two, marry a man, you know, stop going to school, and

stay home and raise kids. That was the world that I grew up, and so going to art school was I figured they weren't that invested in it because they assumed I would get married. And I wasn't invested in it because I wanted to pursue acting and I did, and I went around and apologized to all of my teachers at Parsons. Okay, so here's a question do before we get to that, do you still make art? And what did you make to get in Like what was your special tree? Oh? I had so many advanced placement

art classes and art history, and I loved them. It was what was my ap It was works of art based on specific pieces of music. So they were all each each art piece was really was based on the you know a song when I think there was one Stravinsky fall from the Four Seasons um pop music that song? Do you still have any of them? No? No, I don't know, So how do I don't know how I got in? I got in? I don't know how did you start pursuing acting? Like, so did you? When did

you know you were? Like? When did your secret desire wake a week and inside you? Well? I had been in all of the school plays, okay, at the last two years and at the boarding school, at the girls boarding school, and my dorm mother's husband are like the

dorm father whatever. He was actually a professional working actor in New York City, and he had he watched all the plays and he had said to me when a whole bunch of us were in their house for fondu or I don't know what we were doing, he said, I think you really have a gift and you should pursue it. So I was, you know, that's all I wanted to do, but I knew I had to go to at a present that really, like, do you think him saying that Dan Daily and I don't know what

he's up to? Now, do you think you would have pursued it if Dan Daily hadn't told you that? Or I do I think I would of yet because I knew I wanted to do it. I always wanted to do it. So you get to New York, you're at Parsons. To Parsons, I'm living in the George Washington Welfare Hotel on Lexington, and I had an eight by ten foot room with its own bathroom. Though that's pretty good. Most of the um apartments apartments and quotes my friend Chris you shared about she had to share a bathroom when

we worked at Bathroom. Yeah. Yeah, it was like when she had a bed and then she shared a bathroom. Um, okay, so you well. I was also, uh, my parents paid for my rent and my my rent and my bills, but I had to buy art supplies and that in itself was kind of a racket at Parsons, where a bunch of the teachers had art supply stores in the building and you would go to class and they'd say, oh, everyone has their charcoal number seven and people are like no,

and they'd say go downstairs and buy it. So all the teachers were sending the students to go buy from each other. So it was expensive because you have to go downstairs and buy a charcoal set or going to going to the airport store. Yeah, exactly seven bottle of water. So I was host to sing at the Figure Out Cafe on Eighth Street weekends. It's Master, not Astro Place, It's eighth Streets in the West Village. Figure Out Cafe, eighth Street. I feel like I remember that it's probably

still there. It had been there since the forties or something. So I was host to sing there. And then I met a guy in my building and he was going to n y U and they were doing Hurley Burley through the Circling Square, which is great, and he was hitting on me. I didn't. I didn't get it at the time. He was hitting on me and he said you should audition. So I auditioned, even though I wasn't part of n y U. I don't. I don't even I'm not quite sure how that how that happened, and

I ended up getting the part of Darlene and performing square. Yeah, that's amazing and in like somehow associated with NYU, which doesn't make sense because I had nothing to do with n y U. I was so I I apologized to my teachers and I told my parents I was dropping out. What year is this? What a sophomore year? This was? No, this is my freshman, this is my first year. This is six months in at Parsons. I've auditioned for for a play, gotten apart and started doing it. Was it

your first audition? Yeah? It was so you got your first audition, You got the play besides school auditions. Yeah, it was my first I hadn't even amazing. So you got your first audition, you get to play. You dropped out of school, I dropped out of Parsons. And how long did the play run for? I mean, you know, a month and a half? Two months? Did it get

Did it get you an agent? No? Okay. One of the things that I think it's so interesting about Paget that I remember meeting you a long time ago, but like, you had a and I don't. You had a very successful late night talk show called Paget in San Francisco. How did I so? How did you get from New York? It's it's so brief and makes perfect sense. So after Hurley Burley, I still didn't know how to get an agent. I didn't have the courage to tell my parents I

wanted to go to acting school. They said, if you dropped out of Parson's, you're cut off. I said, okay. I I had a boyfriend who was a drummer. We formed a band together, We lived together. I was waiting tables at this point. We played in that band in New York from eighty eight until ninety three. I said to him, we broke up our band. We had a big fight and the band broke up, and so we he I kind of wanted. It wasn't working out with him. He was from San Francisco. I was working two jobs.

He didn't work for a year, and I finally was like, I gotta get out here. So let's move to San Francisco. And they're not if you're the only one working and you're I did it a guy that I was like, wait, did you just come right here after work? Did you get rid of your part? Like? Are you free litting off of me? Run cut and run? Well, do it once and then don't do it again. So we moved to San Francisco. We got an apartment. I started as

half half acidly try to put another band together. And I broke up with him, and um, I was bartending, UM, you know, to pay my rent I got. I had an apartment by myself. An agent hung out my bar. It was called the Slow Club and Petrero Hill, very nice, fancy, upscale, pretty um bar restaurant, and this guy, Henry Malden hung out at the bar and he I was going to acting school. He I kept saying, Hey, why don't you

represent me? Be my agent, and and finally one day he said, okay, fine, I will send you on three auditions if you get the part. If you get it, he said, if you get it, get the job, I'll be your manager. I said, okay, great. He sent me on meetings for hosts, correspondence and anchor people. I didn't know I was twenty this was four. I was twenty five. I didn't know there were different kinds of managers. I thought they were all for acting. So I was meeting

with people as a host. I was also doing a public access UH television show called um Strange America that was just sketches and interviews, just goofy public access used to be like you could put whatever. I was doing that with a couple of guys who were in tech. So I ended up getting a pilot deal to shoot The Paget Show, to host a talk show. He did episodes, sixty five sisodes I made. There's one online. What okay, Yount? So you host? You have a give your own talk

show called Paget, the Paget Show. What's the format? Like, what is the exactly? It's the it's the exactly. The reason why I got that deal was because every production company signed anyone in their twenties to host a talk show because Ricky Lake had made so much for Garth an Seer and Fox, so every production I happened to be the one that Westinghouse signed. But there were shows, so many shows Tempest Bloodsoe and Gabrielle Carterriss and Mark Wahlbert,

the one who does Temptation Island. Give us an example of one episode, Give us an episode, you know, one episode was I Love Him? Why do my parents hate? So it would be a panel. It would be you know, it would start with two or three people on the panel. It could get up to ten or twelve people on the panel. On the stage and I was running back and forth with the microphone interview Williams. Does she ever get up out of that chair? Did she? She does?

Doesn't know she does it, She doesn't know. These aren't they are not talk shows aren't done now the way they were then then it was did that? Phil Donahue did that. That's what those shows were based on. It was that format of you you come up and you're talking to people on the stage, and then you go out and you take questions from the audience. How was it was really fun? I didn't know anything. I didn't know anything about the business. I did the audience warm up.

I how everyone. I didn't know there were audience warmups. I would we would go to commercial and I would have to keep getting the audience going. Anybody who asks a really exciting question gets this fossil watch. Somebody told me I was not allowed to report how many hours I was working because we shot three shows Thursday, three shows Friday, and then Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. We did man on the Street interviews all over San Francisco. But they

wouldn't let me report my hours. They said if I reported how many hours I was working, they'd have to pay me more and they'd have to fire people. How much it was also bartend? Oh my god, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday nights, just so I could pay my rent. How much did you make per episode that didn't even exist? How much did you make? I make two hundred dollars a week, two d a week. It wasn't it wasn't. It was not. We aired at one in the morning.

To be fair, it was being developed, is what it's called. Okay, wait, two questions. How big were the audiences people? How did they fill the crowd? It was a very successful show. Nothing is shot in San Francisco. Did you recognized? Did you recognize around San Francisco? It started happening. It started happening after we were on the air, maybe three weeks or four weeks. And when the first time it happened,

I was the first time it happened. I was having like brunch with a boyfriend and a new guy, not not not the guy I moved there with his history, and we're fighting like I'm I want I'm like getting ready. It's the it's the precursor to breaking up. It's that fight where you're like, oh, I want to do it? Right now and stopped talking and I just got the check and the check cut. The waitress comes over and she says, um, some fans of yours paid the check. And I was like what what and she said, they

don't want me to tell you who they are. And I'm like, they've so they've just watched me being a bit to my boyfriend and they paid for my check like they love the Patchet Show. And I'm like, oh, it freaked me. It freaked me out. And I didn't know, you know, I didn't know what to do. But and also everyone knew where I lived. I had done an

interview with the San Francisco Times. Well the journalist for some reason was like, ah, pissy, like she's not from San Francisco and she never will be, but here's her show. And she wrote my home address. She said she came and picked me up at my home. So people were it's weird. I had a very rude interviewer last year in Alaska about the meanest ship. It's like they've already made up, they already hate you before you've opened your math. And it was like and it's all about them, yeah,

and they got nothing to do with this. Guy wrote the rudest. What what did he say? I can't you know what? You know you haven't memory. I actually don't have a memorized. Then you're healthy normally, you know what. That's amazing because I always say a few years ago I would have memorized it would have. It was so degrading and unnecessary. It was like, but I do remember the word coquettish was in there. It was like, what

like it was just but it's not necessarily bad. The way he wrote it, wrote it from it, it was just like it was to do with like stand up show. It was just like it was just hateful. I'm sorry, sorry, you know what. Sometimes people yes, but so so she put your home address. So there were you know, people people questionable interactions with people, and people waiting outside and people following you and and um, I remember there was a guy at Chris at U t A that was

like courting me who had discovered you. That was my first agent, Chris Chris hold On, hold On, Oh my god, he was courting me. Chris Colin c O. L. E. Colin was courting me. And I remember he kept talking about great. I'm really sorry you didn't sign with him. That's a bummer. I fucked up, didn't I? No, No, your path is perfect. Chris Colin also left the industry, left agent ing and became the first guy that was figuring out like branding like he put the Pepsi logo

on the Challenger like. I think he became Banana's rich. He probably bought Martha's vineyard. Chris Colin is by it and what he did was he lied. What do you mean back then? Back in the day, I signed with him, moved to l A. Am I going too far from No? I like this perfect move to l A. Signed with him. I had done the talk show. The talk show wasn't moving forward. Westinghouse bought CBS and in ninety five or ninety six, CBS had its own stable of twenty something

talk show hosts. So our show was dead. Um I I signed with Chris Colin. I moved to Los Angeles and my first I was going on just general meetings, and I went to a general meeting. I also I had had my driver's license for maybe a week. Two weeks. I went on a general meeting at NBC and was just talking to Nancy. I can't remember her last name. She was the head of casting for NBC and while we were sitting there, she said, hold on a second. Marshall gave me sides to go in the other room

and work on these and come back in. And I was like, oh, I had never cold read. I didn't know that I'd been doing plays in Sanrancis. Well, so I go in the other and work on the sides, come back in and she did, let's read it right now. And she's intense and we're reading it and she says, getting the car following me and she's like Helen and calls this an other woman. She's no, they make me follow this the first time I've ever driven all the freeway.

They make me follow them to Radford from the burbank NBC in a calm me and I just bought a car. And it's also, by the way, kids, those people listening Google maps didn't exist. There was this horrible Thomas called the Thomas Guy, that was seventy eight pages law. It was grids. It was like grids and it was so confusing. So you see, if I wouldn't know, I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, we're going to Radford. I was on the freeway behind them, shake it like

tears streaming down my face. I was so scared. I've never driven on a freeway before. Pulled in to Radford. Yeah, they're not getting out of the car yet, so I'm trying to do my makeup. I'm doing my makeup again in the car Bayous and they get out of the car and I get out and I'm like hey, and they said, okay, follow us. We go into one of those bungalows. They go knock on the door Lena and people are waiting in waiting room, like waiting to audition,

and they're like, come here, come here. They opened the door, ordered me in the room. Laura san gian Como, who was famous from Pretty Woman there and there are fifteen people in the room and the casting leady says, this is Paget, Paget, this is Laura. You're going to do the scene. So these to shoot me. It was just shoot me. So I do the scene to play her best friend. That was because there was a character that it was originally was a woman. I remember the sides

the breakdown. It wanted to Janine Garoffalo type. I God, I remember I had a crew cut back in the day. Everybody wanted to Janine Garo. Probably, yeah, I don't know. I remember that. I remember that breakdown. I remember well because it came back a couple of times, and then it ended up going to David Spade that like that character was played by. I walked right into the audition.

I audition and they say great, thanks. I was like okay, and I walk out and I started walking to my are and uh the someone comes running out, going where are you going? Where are you going? And I was like, I'm gonna go home, and they said, no, you have to sign the something. And I don't know what they're talking about. I think it's a sign in sheet or something. I don't know. I have a pager. They hand me a contract, so I go to the ice said can

I use your phone? And I called Chris Cohen at U t A. And I was like, they want me to sign something, and he says, get in your car and get the funk out of there. And I was like, but I think I did well, Like I think they want maybe want me to come back. And he's like, don't sign a fucking thing, get in your car and get the funk out of there. Okay. So I started walking to the car they come running back out again and they're like, you can't leave, and I was like,

I'm so sorry. I've just been told I've got to get the funk out of here. I'm sorry, and I drove away. It was they wanted me to sign the test stop. I wasn't they negotiated. I know there wasn't any I don't know what they wanted me to sign. By the time you got your first play that you audited for, oh, I suppose this is pretty interesting, right my first year. First I first said the audition for a play in New York. You walk in and you

get it. You go in for one general meeting, and they drive you to Rag myself, okay, but they like make you like have like a police that they like. They drove me. They drove you because they were in front of me. They drove you to Rags. I didn't know where to go, had to cut the line, and then you got chased out for a test deal that was not even negotiered, I mean better actually amazing. So I didn't get to shoot me obviously. What happened was by the time I got home, Chris had called and

left a message on my answering machine. I was so piste off, like I thought he had cost me a job, like I might have gotten a job. He left this message. I can't remember what he said, but I was completely confused. So I called him and I was like shaking, like why did you tell me to leave? I think they were interested in me, and he was like, they are interested in you, but you don't sign anything unless I look at it first, and I want you to just

sit tight. Everything's going to be fine. What he did was NBC those casting people went to were in Littlefield and they were like, we saw this girl. We like my agent NBC called U t a. My agent said to NBC. I don't know what happened. She's green, she just got here from San Francisco, but she's We're in the middle of negotiating a talent deal with ABC, so she can't she shouldn't have auditioned for complete lie. NBC says, we'd like to sit down with her if she's about

to sign. Before you sign anything with ABC, let our people sit down with her and let's talk to her. Chris fabricated a bidding war between NBC, CBS, ABC, and Fox. I met with every network. I met with every network president alone, and every time I got there, they were like, so are your people coming? And I was like, no, we don't have any people, It's just me, and they were he knew exactly what he was doing, Christ exactly what he was brilliant. But that was back when you

could lie. No one lies like no one is a shark agent. You get a deal? Oh yeah, I got a deal for a ton of money. It was a quarter of a million dollars one year for Fox, and then before that year was over, they signed me to another year. Can I just say that I signed with CBS? Can I just say that means you never went on one audition, You walked into one general meeting. Okay, wait, all right, you walked into one general meeting and had three back to back there you had three back to

back development deals for the next three years. You're right. That's you're right. You're right, you're right. That's that's because my agent lie. That's because he was a great agent. And by lying as good kids lying good, I depeat so badly. Can we take it to take this is fascinating thought. Luck. I don't know about you, but I

think break hi. Guys hi, guys hi, guys were back, Okay, please let me clarify this because it sounds like it sounds like diamonds are falling out of my vagina with what I was auditioning and not getting anything, the thing that happened with the with that general meeting and then this whole bidding thing. Yeah, I was auditioning and not getting anything. I had very little experience. I'd gone to acting school, but I hadn't worked besides a play or

doing a talk show in San Francisco. I had done a couple of infomercials I did, like those those uh what are they called for? Banks? You walk around and you're it's like moral boosting, and here at National Bank, we're trying to a corporate, corporate, corporate thing. I'd done that.

I was auditioning and not getting anything. And then the re reason why when Chris lied to NBC and said ABC is about to sign her to a development deal which existed back then, I don't really exist now people had them, and NBC was like, well, we want a meeting with her. Then he called all the other networks and they all said what we want a meeting with And what he was doing was fabricating a frenzy for an unknown quantity. All they had of me was was a tape of me doing a talk show in San Francisco.

I didn't have an acting reel. I didn't have myself on camera doing anything. So all of those networks didn't want to miss out. It didn't matter what I was. I could have been a bunch of radishes if if a network believed that another network was going to sign that bunch of radishes, they were going to have a meeting. I agree with you that I I feel like when I first started the first the first I went on

a general and then I went in. I went in a general at the ABC in New York, and then I got sent to go read for a pilot, and then I read like seven times, and then they flew me out for a test deal, and then like seven more people wanted to test. Like I think, I actually think there's a magic when you're brand new, like the

magic of the undiscovered. I actually get so much harder later when you're it's like because there's always a new batch of the brand new turnips where it's like there's something about people want to be the person that discovers this like hidden jam where and and it's the someone else discovery. Yes, it's not because they can. They can discover a dud anytime. It will never see the light of day if it's a dud. But if they never even played ball to get that bunch of radishes, then

they look like assholes. Now, when you're brand new, when you're the person that like I think that first year there's a magic and I remember thinking like, wow, it's always going to be this easy, and it's like like, and I do think that you have to get scrappy and bell to like reinvent yourself, Like did it when

did you ever have a slowdown? Like what liked You've gone kind of from back to back, Like, well, what what happened was I had that development deal with Fox and I shot a pilot and it didn't go, and then I had another development deal with Fox. Chris insisted in that second deal with Fox that Fox allow me to be a guest star on other shows. Oh, you

couldn't do that in the first year. Not the first year. No, they own you and they pay you for the year, and then if your show gets picked up, half of your salary is returned to the network, so they pay you a lump sum and then they recoup if your show goes forward. So whatever you're being paid, you're only being paid half and the network is taking that money back, which is still great. I mean it was still an ungodly amount of money. When I was twenty six, that

was crazy. So yeah, what year was that? That was nineteen six, So I was twenty seven when all this happened. Um, then what happened? Then? I Oh, so so okay, now you're gonna get mad Okay, So the second deal at Fox. Meanwhile, I'm auditioning for movies and I'm not getting anything. The second deal with Fox, when Chris got them to agree I could guest star on another show. I auditioned for a show called Friends, and I got it and I did.

That was Oh my god, I was supposed to be I love this, and then it ended up being sick. What did you play? I played Kathy, who Joey is dating, but Chandler falls for Kathy and then it was great. What season I didn't forward? I did one episode? Season nine, season eight, Season you had so they were already like the height of like they were was the biggest show in the world. Wait, you can't even really want to ask a, So this happened in what year was that? Then?

If it was friends, was a two thousand because I did two thousand one and it was right I did right after nine eleven, and they had like the Antrax They had like the antrax drill when I did it, And so that was if I was in season four, then that was going took it up because I don't know the timeline on this um What was your favorite part? Who is your buddy on the set? Matthew Perry? He wasn't. He was a nice he had and they were all, honestly,

they were all so shockingly nice. They were all piste off at Adam Swimmer for the majority of the time I was there. David. What did I say, Adams? Oh wow, Adam David Adam Yeah, no, David Schwimmer. They were mad at because he had made them do a fundraiser for his theater company. But they were genuinely all really good friends, like they were, and they invited me to lunch and I would go to the commissary with them, and like, they were really really nice. It was surprising. It was seven.

It was one year. It was one year after I got here in ninety six, so I must have had the Fox deal ninety six. Yeah, I did. I had the Fox deal February or Mark It's amazing it is pilot season ninety seven and then pilot season. I was signed again with Fox, and I must have done Friends in September. Okay, so did you I read somewhere that Hugh Hefner sand you set you a handwritten letter on Conan offering you to be in Plate Boy. Is that true? Yes? I at a at a certain point, And I'm not

really sure what year it was. I want to say two thousand four, Hugh. I went to Hugh Hefner's eightieth birthday party, So I don't know what year that. Did you go to the grotto? I did? I swam naked in the grotto. Um. I went to the I went to the Playbood Mansion twice, invited by Hugh Hefner because Holly and the girls all watched Criminal. No, the girls watched the show I was on, called Huff on Showtime with Higgs Area and Oliver Platt. They loved Huff, so

they invited me to the mansion and I went. I love that they loved Huff. Yeah, I know, I was so surprised. So I went to the mansion. The first time was just a regular you know what they do. They have like this weird buffet laid out and I swam in the gros don't know the first time maybe I wasn't naked. I think the second time I swam in the grown naked because like, what are you gonna do? Why not? And it was fabulous. There's you know, you're

the thing that's under the cave. I walked in. I brought my friend Justin Kirk, who's a guy friend who and he was he was as he was being a rascals two chicks who said they were sisters. One was from like sal Paolo, Brazil and the other one was from Helsinki. He was he was a brother, the brother on and he's such a fun rascal. He's like a fun he's so talented and he's such a rascal. He's on kidding this season with Jim Carrey season. What did he play? Um? He plays Judy Greer's husband, So Jim

Carrey's ex wife's new or boyfriend. The pilot I auditioned for an episode towards the I don't think it was the pilot. I think I had just like episode two or something. I thought it was really good, it was really interesting. It's um So I went to the ground. I went to the Playboy Mansion with Justin the second time I went and we split up, and I walked into the grotto and there were people having sex in the grotto and I ran out to find Justine. I

went to find him. He was just outside. I grabbed him. We come back in and I just see I just see the back of a rock door closing, the security guard. The thing about the Playboy Mansion, I don't know what it's like now. Back then it was run by the women. Men. It was Amazonia. You couldn't touch a woman. You couldn't. The women were responsible for everything. So you'd be like,

get me a drink. They'd get you a drink, could get me some jalapeno poppers that you were if if a guy even touched a woman without her touching him first, a guard was there and that guy was out there were secure. It was the most because party. And I

think that's why I swam naked the second time. So I took like dollar bills out of my purse, tucked my purse in the grotto wall and just swam out, you know, tips up and handed tip money to a couple of guys to get drinks for me and Justice just hein't seen me naked, all right, we were excess, but like totally just friends. That's that's always the best. Yeah, it was fun, but I didn't pose naked. I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I think it's yeah,

I couldn't do it. I think what they're doing now it seems like like like the reinvention. I mean, just the covers and stuff. I like this sort of party. I haven't seen it since it's now. It's it's kind of it's kind of like I feel like Christina, they're kind of like trying to make it more appealing to the mill like millennials. It's less dirty and like a little cooler and more already. I don't know, but it's no. I think it's underpants and maybe toping. Yeah, it's not as,

it's not as. I feel like it's almost like somewhat in a weird way, kind of old fashioned. But like I don't know, I think it's kind of like it feels like they've been trying to get cool. I don't know. Um, okay, so you dated justin let's talk guys. What do you wish you could say to your twenty five year old paget? What have you? What did you? What like? What was your what was your um achilles heel with guys like? What was I had? I would date guys that would

like hit on my friends or like we're threatened. They would like like me at first, but then they'd be competitive with me about my career, you know what I mean, Like it was hard to find a guy that could handle what I did. Did you ever have a hard time with that? Um because you're married to an guy now? My guys the best, so the you know, the the homework card answer would be, I don't regret anything, A gummy where I am now? But what what do you know?

I think it was. I lived with an actor for six years in l A who I met fairly recently while I was shooting friends. We met and we started living together, and he sort of lost his way. The more successful I got, the more he was having a hard time with it, and and it's hard for two actors. It ended badly, and then from that point on, really I think I was very unhealthy and my choices were Um. The men were fine. It was I was never. I was in and out in three month increments for how

long years? I mean I and it was like visiting the zoo. You would if you lined up the guys I diated next to each other, you to be like, there is absolutely nothing linking any of these people physically or spiritually or except they were they were all nice and funny, like they were all very different and wrong for me, but great guys. But I was doing it to myself because I didn't want anyone. I didn't. I

guess ultimately I didn't want a partner. I didn't. I was terrified someone was going to tell me what to do and what I was allowed to do and what I and I was not going to let anyone in. I was not going to let anyone in. I used to cut and run a lot. I would cut and run and I did not don't mean you don't you control me? I'm the boss here. Yeah, I am out of here. What was different when you met Steve? Um? Not much? I mean I met Steve. I've not I

met Steve. We've been together ten years, we married five years. Last week we I met him. I've knew him for a year and a half, for two years as friends with Matthew before anything romantic happened. But I was, I was. We were hanging out because Googler was um Googler was lightheartedly dating a friend of mine, and uh Googler would always bring Steve on like dates with people. There's a very funny um Garfunkle notes song called You and Me and your friend Steve that it's about Matthew and Steve.

So Steve was always going. So I would end up hanging out with my female friend and Googler and Steve would show up, and so then Steve and I were essentially on double dates without so they weren't trying to fix you up and you always just always just that they wanted to make it more social and less not like a big heavy date thing, so he would go ahead. Then Steve and I started making out, and I was like, oh,

this is so stupid. He's twelve years younger than I am, he's a musician, he's new in town on the fucking bitchy old broad people are gonna think of his mom like I was, And I was bad. I was really I pushed him away, and I told him we would never be serious and I couldn't go any further. And then I love him. I can't, we can't. Then we started hanging out and just kissing. And how he handled it when you would say that like I'm not afraid of you and totally completely nothing to prove confident. He

was like, whatever, lady, exactly, I'm not going anywhere. Yeah exactly, whatever. Yeah, I did a sexual time out. Where did you get married? We got married in Hollywood at the what was it called um the Uh it's gone now. It was a little hotel um on Vine Street that now has been turned into some kind of smaller soho house sort the red and there was what it's gone, Yeah, it was the Red Berry Hotel. And there was like a bar area called the Library that was just like a little

library with a little bar our wedding. Our wedding was fourteen people. It was my mom and dad, a brother and sister, Steve's brother and his wife and son and his mom and dad and Matthew. Greg Googler from Criminal Minds introduced us. He was dress I did? I wore my mom's wedding dress. Did you got a honeymoon? Boy, not for another year. I'm terrible planet. Okay, brother and sister. Tell me about your brother and sister. Are you tight with them? Yes? Yes, they just baby. My brother is

two and a half years younger. And then your sister. He oh, I don't have a sister. Sorry. His wife, Catherine is my sister in law. And with him, yes, but he like we have been he's uh. His name is Ivan and his wife is Catherine, and they just had a baby boy named Charlie. And they live in Dumbo, which is gorgeous and it was rough when they moved in. Like they have paid their dues. He's a designer. She works for her brother's hedge funds company called Blue Sand

Investments UM. And they cook and they travel a lot. They're very They're far more fashionable and fancy than Steve and I were kind of nerdy homebodies. I love that they're really like tall and beautiful and like they go pleat. They travel and they have fabulous dinner parties that look like photo shoots. Like they're that's my friends in Brooklyn are like that. I feel like they like was whipped. They like to throw a pie in the oven and like there it's like an Edison bulb every where. They

got like that, that whole world. They listen to NPR and make like Corntine yes, and they've got like hiking. Yeah, they're just like they're great. Yeah, it's incredible, But I don't have the energy for it. I'm so impressed. Um, and your parents live in Maine. My parents live half of the year in Maine. Uh. In the in the summer, sorry, spring and summer, they live in Maine, and in the fall and winter they live in Florida because it just gets and their their house which they bought in nineteen

sixty eight before I was born. I was built in eighteen seventies something. So it is a drafty. It's it gets too cold to live. It's if they're not weather proof, that would okay. I have three final questions. Number one, how has it been? How do you feel with Criminal Minds? Ending? Like like how how? How? What do you what do you hope to do? What? What do you How are you feeling state of the Union? Um? I feel great.

I appreciate that Criminal Minds has ended because I think we did a good job and I think we ended positively, and I think we all have other things to do. And I think fifteen seasons is a lot when you did a lot of comedy. I laughed for four years and went back for the last four seasons, So yeah and all, and I wanted to do comedy. You know, when you do that, you know tough FBI people are dying and know there's hearts and jars you had done.

You came from the comedy only only comedy. So do you did you find that like coming off of that, because sometimes I feel like this business, like it's the last thing you did is the thing that people remember. Like of course was it was it hard to come off and be like I want to do comedy again? Or or were people like, we know you do comedy and that's fine. Um? I think because I really was aware that when Criminal Minds ended, I wanted to pursue comedy.

I've tried my best to keep my foot in it, and part of that is doing well except this rose you're doing, doing thrilling adventure, um, doing the doing drunk history, just doing what are fun things that don't pay that I like that, you know what I mean? Because I just wanted to be enjoyable. I don't um. So I knew when Criminal Minds ended that I was going to pursue that, and I was really lucky that I've got a couple of episodes of Mom, which is a multi

camp that I haven't done. And well, I've never met, so it's actually not true. I met very briefly Anna Faris and um Alison Janny and there they were love's I mean, both of them. All of them are so talented, all of them. I just what did you What do you play in the show? I played Anna's boss, this bitchy adderall addicted lawyer. So I'm hoping I'll go back, but I don't know. You know that that show has you know, six main women, and who are the other plays?

Allison's amazing, It's a it's a big show. It's a big cast, so I don't know how much they need guest stars. I don't know if I'll be going back to face and it's possible, I don't know. That's fun. Okay, okay. Number two, this is a very important final question. I'm scared you're getting out of the limo first night at the Bachelor. What what do you wear the first night

at the Bachelor You're getting out of the limo? I'll tell you, I wear a I wear a mini dress in the front that has a train in the back I were I wear a panic and I make an error, and I wear a high low because I I've funked up and I've panicked, and then I want to show my legs with I want to show my legs. But then I don't want to wear a mini dress, and I panic and I wear like a mullet dress. And then I try and execute some kind of like a

like a like a barrel roll or a move. I try and make a move up to the Bachelor, and it doesn't necessarily go as well, like like I really explode out of the car that but I then look back and I think I shouldn't have worn the mullet dress. I keep tripping on the train. That's what What do you wear? Getting out of limo? Anne's going to wear a gown that children have to carry because it's so heavy.

Oh my god. Yeah, that's not a good first impression. Yeah, Aaron's gonna wear a football outfit and she's going to come out and have take off the helmet and have like flowing hair, but have like black paint the black lines in her eyes and she's going to spike the ball, and I'm like, knock the teeth out of the bachelorette because she's on the Bachelorette. What do you wear getting out of the limb? Okay, I am going to where yea a silver yes, full body leotard, yeah, with wrap

around black shades. I am in one of those Cabo San Lucas ocean balls, like a hamster wheel where you run on the ocean. No one's done that yet, so I just peddle up like a silver Grandma hamster. That's and he can't hear me, and I'm like, that's so good. Nobody's done that. Yeah, that's a great idea. I feel like that really shows who I am. I like to wrap around shades and the Annah's dying. Why are you wearing again for Peter? For Peter, she's just an airplane? Okay?

How about just let's say for ginneric Ben Higgins? What do you wear for Ben Higgins? I don't know. I mean, I honestly would just want to wear like pajamas and be like pajamas and be like if you could accept me like this, then you accept me because this is what I like to pants has anyone done that, because that's the way too good. I would love to just literally like track pants and a fucking hoodie and just be like, bitch, this is it? Like sorry, that's great.

Smart Now. I know this will come out later because and I hope you guys have paused and got and bought bought your the book. I'll go buy a little little Miss Little Compton book. It's such a fun story. What's the name again, I want to make sure I get it right. It's called little Miss Little Compton because I'm from Little Compton, Rhode Island. Guys, if you've been doing this podcast, I guarantee you enjoy the book. And I can't wait. It's a pre order, apparently I want to.

My dream is to be on the bestseller list. You have to sell eight thousand copies. Apparently, it's all about the pre sales. You've got to be done. It's all. We can do it, That's what I'm saying. We can do it. It's eight thousands of the number. I can order it on three kindles. We got three kids. Don't share with my mom. That's right there, you go. You can get one for your mom. You can order one for mom, one for Steve one for me. Consider it.

Consider it like a present that you send to your future self that you like yourself enough in twenty to give yourself a present that it's gonna come this fall and you're gonna go, oh my god, thank you so much, Sarah, Thanks for sending that to myself. I appreciate that Sarah liked self enough to send it. Okay, I know that this will be airing later. I'm very excited to do the draft picks with you and kirston how do you

say her last name properly? Vans Um and I might actually make people go down the line and say their outfit. So remember your outfit or you can change it. Why would I change that? I don't think you have to get his protect I think so we'll need to hear what welse is gonna wear, even though he already did it. But maybe we'll have him go last. He had it, he had the backup singers, he had what who he had? He brought, he brought a band with him. He brought

a band with him in real life. He did that's right. It was a four top. And then like I need to know what Lance Bass would wear. And then I need you to know what Rob Benedict would wear. I just got excited thing Rob that I can't wait to do this. This is going to be so much. And then we're also having our sketch Fresh show, um pegget. Is there anything else that you feel like you just want everybody to know? No, did I know? I satisfy you.

I gotta tell you above and beyond? This has been a because it wasn't I want I Actually, I'm so surprised. It sounds like I really looked into some great ship and I'm excited about that. And I can see how writing a book would be so eye opening that you are able to look back at your life and looking through a different lens. I can't imagine. Well, it's also the rewriting problem, Like I wrote it and then I've had to keep combing through it, like I've been reading it,

like I'm so ready to turn close the chapter. And by the way, by the time this says this is long one, I'm actually turning it in tomorrow. But like, like I'm so ready to be done with it, but it is. It forces you. It's just so interesting because you're like all this, like I have all these funny friends and I was just saying this to Aaron, like I have all these funny friends that I've gotten a

note because of the podcast, asked and then life. You know, it's you very really sit down and like really like like what makes you you? And like how did you do this? And nobody on you grew up in the industry or had any connections or like. So it's just it's been so fascinating just to hear everyone's journey. You're you and I are the first two that were not popular. Rob was popular, Wells was popular. Aaron was popular. But they deserve it, and I bet they ruled kindly. I

agree with you, you know what I mean. There's no way they were popular because they were rich or they were popular because they their father was powerful. Like the kind of popular people that we dealt with in the school that we went to. It was a very different thing. And except he was funny. He's the only who was the one you guys, What a joy, what a journey. Guys, Thank you so much for tuning into feeling thorny and um. Thank you so much for everybody listening. Thank you, patteck

Bruster for thank you, Lord, thank you, thank you. I love you. Okay you guys, um, thanks for listening. Bye. Oh yeah, I'm all tonight so good. I'm just gotta one of the worship. When you read this rule, youse rules into your word, rules into your world. Will you accept this? Rose is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast on iHeart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.