"F%# You!" With Fortune Feimster!

ninth episode. First, um, you guys, this is so exciting. This is our marine host of Will You Accept This Rose Podcast? Um, I, before we even get going, I want to offer an on air apology to my threutle husband. I in a lava. My body temperature was the temperature of lava. Yesterday the A C was off in here and I called my new husband, my new ex husband Aristotle. I called him mysterios like and I realized stereos mysterios and then a staircase and I just said a stare

um and I'm so sorry. And you had very exciting man panties Number two to my right. We have my my platonic life partner, a lady, my one of my favorite virgos, and there's so many virgos in my life that I love. There's because everybody was humping over the holidays nine months. I want to say to you, you are my favorite half of a twin set. I love twins and I fear twins. You are a twin. I fear you. I love you, Miss Aaron Foley. Yeah, it's good to be feared, because to be feared, I am

probably the least frightening person in America. That's true. She's watching baseball. I just got people yelling at me about the dreamers online, and I'm afraid of them. I want to say to you across from me a woman that I like so much. I like her so much, you know what I like about I really don't think I've said to your face how much I enjoy your ice cream dance? Um My, she does ice cream dances. Yeah, she's the start. She's just dance with ice cream on Instagram.

But a lot, like a lot of a lot of often. You might know her from from I we met at Chelsea lately. She's a very funny lady. She's a great up comedian. She's currently filming the minute project Misfortune Fie Welcome. Did you get to uh did you get to do your work with Reese Witherspoon. I didn't get to be there. When she was there, I was like, she whose Reese Witherspoon. She's a blonde woman that looks a lot like me. Yes, um,

I did see her, though, I do. I pop into Chelsea's show on Netflix as Sarah Hugaby Sanders and Reese was there and I got to chat with her, like we were just two chicks just chatting. What did you talk about? What did you She was like, hey, Fortune, and I was dressed as Sarah Sanders. That felt weird, just like hey girl, like we're old friends. And I don't know. I got nervous, so I was just like,

you know that charity you work with? I went to luncheon and then I kind of remember the name of the charity and I don't remember the name of the charity, but I'm really involved with it. And then when did she and then what did she? She's Southern, so she's she's wearing one of her little Draper James dresses. I don't know. Oh, my god, she's very, very lovely. I want to give a shout out before we get going, before because we are at our sixty we're at our

final episode of ever, our sixty ninth episode. I want to say there's a woman. Her name is Anna. Um. Not only are we obsessed with her, she makes all of the flyers. Can we just give a shout out for the yesterday's bonus episodes flyers? You have made sixty nine flyers and like eighteen thousand logos. Can I just show you the flyer? That's amazing? She really said that before.

She really stuck her landing on this one. Look at so we have we have we have scalloped fingers with her, and then Robbie with Jagging's standing attention on like glowing like a fairy. It just made me. That's funny. Are you excited for the hiatus for no more flyers? Do they torture you? You're good at them? Um? I think my boyfriend's more excited for me to stop. Yeah, kept, yeah, kill me now. Yeah. And he doesn't like the Bachelor, but he's adorable. He's adorable. Yeah, But I mean it'll

be a good break. We've all been going kind of crazy. Well, I went looking for scalp Fingers contacts the other day. That's how deep. That's how deep I went. Fis has been before we get started. This is how deep my I've even gotten my fucking mom and who doesn't even like the show I received. This is the email I woke up today and this is going to start set mood for the podcast. This is from Janu Marine of Little Compton Real Estate for all your summer rents, home

for for all your summer rental needs. And I just want to say, I think she doesn't like when I say that, because she hates dealing with rentals because it's not where the Benjamin's are. Yes, she's sort of all your summer like, fucking go buy a house from that woman house. She needs to feed her kids in mittens. Okay, her cat, her Kiden's name is Mints. Here is the email I received today. Listen to your podcast, your last

podcast today, so when we did yesterday, she's already listened. Hilarious. Yeah, and I watched last night as the Brady Blonde Twins exited the island dot dot dot good for Dean, she loves Dean. Good for deal. She doesn't care he stood up to them. What a pair of shallow, boring, egotistical, selfish, bitchy broad that a lot of ad three excavations. Here's the best. I can't wait for them to turn sixty. They else to bring to the table. Just in case you wondered what I thought of them, Dot dot dot,

Your mama just started your witch. Did she put a spell on them? Where they're going to turn six next week? What if she is a weird I am putting a spell on you, dumb broze you you'll have the bloody of a six year old and not one that's discovered blodies like Jennifery. You know my mother also emailed me last night. Did she said? What are you doing with your life? Okay, Mary fo you guys. Let's talk about

the twins for a second. Clearly when they say when they sit at their like college intros where they're like, what is consented? When they when they got they caught the twins, No, I mean the group of when the contestants are saying, we are completely we do what we want to do. Those girls were so produced to be like your storyline. You get Derek, you get deep. Don't take no for an answer and this year your no

like take no Prisoners twins. It was such a set up, there was nothing even they were like completely different humans that came in and there they were so dumb that you're like, you're not really, You're not that thumb. This is all suns. They might be, they are probably they're just yeah, you know, Honestly, I felt the show was just so bad that I thought they were a breath

of fresh air. You're happy, You're happy to see them again. Well, honestly, some of the stuff that comes out of their mouth is so ridiculous that I found it entertaining because I'm so utterly bored with the couple. Feel like they were playing a part of dumb a little bit, like they were really hitting the dumb nail. I do have to say, uh, and you know this, we've discussing. It's it's he's young,

he's doing his thing, you know what I mean. But um, when he would have he would he would have gone on a date if he if he could have gotten away with it, And that was to me, like over he would have he was his penis was almost coming out. I actually think he's so much of a people pleaser that even if my mom was like, Dean, you have to make out me like I supported you. I don't think he knows how to disappoint someone to their face. I don't think the twin is his type. I don't

think it's his type. But I think he's in five year old horny crazy boy mode, which is not necessarily a bad thing for him, because he's he's really weird mad him, he's adorable. Um but I just I just thought, like, if was serious, let's say I'm Delo. I'm just saying I'm do I would be like, get away from that. Okay,

let's say you're Dilo. We didn't discuss yesterday, Dilo. What the funk was that T shirt top, those khaki koo lots and the be juel brawl it over the T shirt she wore like a T shirt with a glitter bra over it. It's like, are you that hot that you don't even have to try to be? She? We we said this since the first time we met her. Um, I find her so attractive, uh that I want and I smile and I'm like excited that she's on the television, and then you realize it's like watching paint. She there's

there's it's not I think she's smart. I think she's somewhat interesting, but there's there's a real why do you think I don't think she's like the thing, but why do you think there's nothing that's made her like she read it over there? Any caught a way of her reading. I don't think they have literature. I'm not. I'm not just blong conversation with anyone. This is what they talk about.

There's a disconnection. And I think that she's always like putting out there like yeah, it would be fun basically like when you get that man. It wasn't with her when she was on The Bachelor, was like there was just a lot there was just if you just want more. I mean, Nick is not known to be like he's a dirty dog. He cut her on a two on one,

like he cut two girls. He was so he wanted to fuck her so hard and she was so boring that he went out of his way, like I have to cut you two like you're so boring, I can't even I can't even make out with you because you're so boring. But I think Dean just wants to make out with hot chicks right now. Yeah, totally I do think he was to make out well. He wanted the like he wanted that foundation with Christina and that like security blanket. Then he's like, I want to come home

to you after I go. I'm gonna be patient. I'll see you for dinner. I'm gonna bang all day long. But you're cooking. Why are they acting like? Why are they acting like for the like they have to wait to funk at Paradise, Like like, oh, the fantasy seems like Derek and Taylor when they're like, oh, if we have fantasy, but they're like, if we have fantasy sweets, we have to funk three times and then we can.

Like it's like, wait, gonna, I just assumed it was a bank fest the whole they do bang fest, but they just don't get a lot of privacy. They put up like a they want to look it in between this. They want to get real dirty and loud and the fantasy. So yeah, okay, let's wake up the neighbors. All right, So I'm start Jamie Amy shows up like she was. She was more charming this time because she was the one that had the balls and I care for On the Bachelor, I really would have been excited if she'd

actually asked a girl. I wanted that, we all did. I don't think any of the girls were. There are no other by girls. There was a moment I thought would Raven go out with her? And then like no, we all just want what did I text you last night? Said? It was such a straight Shaw like, it's just like that. That's like when they used that word, well, they made it seem like she might when she was like, asked, what's the Vigildt says bisexual? I said, apparently bisexual means wild.

Oh my god, the show is so dumb and straight. But it just like they were all like, oh, like they couldn't. They were almost blown away by the word bisexual, you know what I mean. That's when I was like, are you well? They had all the guys in the pool be like, maybe she's gonna ask out a girl? What do you think I mean? Between that and like twins are here, like the twins or not? Okay, we'll get to the twins again one second. But so so she shows up. I liked her so much more this time.

She's fun and her energy was great. She needs to remove the you know, the earring from the nose is you can like, I thought she was fantastic. I think she's super hot. She had a really great personality. And still, please get that out of your nose. Nobody, Michelle Obama couldn't pull that off. Nobody. No, it's it's the young the young kids are doing these days. Get it, get it out o pears. Okay, don't get a nose ring like that, Like, if you gotta do it, do it

on the side like the nineties. And another thing, don't inject your lips. I'm sorry, I know it's a thing now it's so obvious that you've injected your lips. Yeah, And don't put the barbell on your lips either, don't do the barbell or the top or don't get the ear holes that wide in and the gauges and then they're stretched out at some point you might not want them. I wish that's what my mom wished on the twins. Not only they're gonna be sixty, but they had gauges Stumbo.

So then so then she shows up, she takes Diggie, they go out. It's funny, like they're not showing the whole date. It's like we saw them French kissing during the day, never to be seen again. Like it is that? Is that like a pattern in b I P or do we usually get more? You feel like we got longer dates. I feel like we got more. I feel like they've also have gotten cheaper with the dates, Like I felt like the dates and there was a green screen.

It felt like literally they did not leave paradise, Like they just went to the left and put down a tablecloth. I literally was like, are you still? Where are you? And like a green screen cafeteria right outside they were. They were like downtown Sylita at like a taco stand. They're all at like local taco stage on the past tacoco the one one of the girls are drinking. To start with Jasmine drinking the Starbucks. I was like, Oh, I guess in her interviewed her Starbucks. Yeah, right, And

I was like what I thought the same thing. I was like Jasmine. The way Jasmine was acting, I was like, when she says all things are on the table, I thought, oh, it is Jasmine. That would have been a cool Jasmine was unattached. She would have been because a wild calf. Dudes are such world. They casted the some of the worst guys the twins were right. When they're they're like the twins were twins are smarter than when they twins showed up and they said, we're Mr Steel your man, woman,

Mr Steel your men. That's how they arrived. And then so then she's like, so wait, all that's left is tickle and she said a bunch of weirdos serial killer. Yeah, so she's and then and then Amanda pulls them aside, the twins aside, and she fills them immediately in on scalop fingers, like such a mean girl, such a scalp fingers. And they're like, yeah, as a scallop, isn't a is that bratzels? I think it's brown? Actual? Did you just make that fingerin? Then you could start with a Santa

Claus play rights. But I don't like her. Of course Amanda is bff with the twins. That those those three literally someone could sneeze and they could be blown off the earth. They have literally no substance, no, like, I I'd rather be a twin. How could the twins be hot blonde twins and have no sex appeal? Like? How did I know that is Jackson Pard? And they don't have no want? Maybe they're better looking in person, but they do not. But no one has actively person twins

like nobody, I think as they're creepy twins. They like they're not sexy. They oh my god, they're I could see him in a horror movie. Yeah, just like one of them was talking about how the other one's vagina is better like and they were definitive about it. They were like, Haley has a better vagina like you. They're in the category of creepy twins, which people are. I don't know what any of my friends vaginas look like.

I don't know what my own. I have a twin, I do not know what her lower trunk looks like because I'm a normal person, like up like I mean, and it's also a vagina. There's a difference between. There's a difference between like somebody's like pubic area, but like actually knowing what the vagina like, how do you? How do you know that? Some they probably call the outer area. But remember they were like up in their business list year,

like applying the tanner with those little wipes. They were like one of those like up like tanning her couch like with like did it make you wish that you and your twin closer? Do you feel less close? Did you? Did you call Megan and say I turned to the left and I said, thank god we're not them. Yeah, and it was wonderful. No, it was just and then you guys. I actually was at the Dodger game. She was hanging out with a boyfriend. I came home and I said, what's the what's the recap? And she said

watch it. She goes, it's all right. Then the twins come in and it's just a train wreck after that. Those are her twin words. Now, you and Aristotle were discussing I'm sort of obsessed with twins, and we were discussing that your twin is your best friend. We are not going to name names, but Stottle has a story that he knows twins. Are they identical? Are they identical? He knows twins that hate each other? Come we here a little bit each other. How do you know that

they hate each other? Are you friends with one or both? I'm kind of friends with both, but more so with one of them. And how do you know that they hate each other? They don't like hanging out, they like I feel like they wouldn't They would say it and they're identical. They're identical identical, and in my mind I know he doesn't. But the other one has like an evil twin scar over his eye. That's how I see his face in my mind all the time. And is

what and are they super competitive with each other? Are they so resentful that their clone exists and they want to crush the other one? I don't know, Like I imagine they're fine at Thanksgiving, but otherwise they don't see or talk to you. Thanksgiving, you guys just coming up. I love this time of year together. I hate the heat, but I love from Halloween until the Greatest New Year. I don't get the I get that a little bit

more identical twins, maybe not. Maybe they want their own you know what I mean looking at someone that looks exactly like you, so I could I could get a little non you. You You don't have to be like best friend, you know what I mean? Like, but I can't imagine not being close with my twin like that, just like literally blows my mind. Now. We have a running joke that, of course, you know, being in our porn uh, that we lived together, h you know, just as as we

planned it. It's kind of like, oh, my god, I can't believe this is happening. It's just temporary. Every everything's fine, but I can't imagine, not Like if I don't hear from her during the day, I'm like, well, what's going on. There's some super creepy twins. There's some super creepy twins on Project Runway this season are awful. They're really talented, but they're they're so in mesh. But there's competing as individuals.

They normally design as like a design team, and they are so weird and like now that they've been pulled apart, like they're all they don't know what to do. Their fabrics can join and their fabritter can joined, and they speak like this, they go indeed, indeed, indeed, and they have the nose rays. Do you have siblings? I have two older brothers them. Yeah, I mean, but I think it's different with sisters, though I feel like sisters oftentimes, like I don't know that it's a little closer. I

think sisters hate each other a lot. Really, I love their sisters. I have a lot of friends who are have like a brother and two sisters, and they're like sisters are vicious to each Like I have a brother, My bro and I are tired Aleric one eye, genius, huge head, and I mean he has another eye. It just doesn't work, and um, it's on his elbow. It's on his elbow. But but I have friends who have sisters. No, you not a Anna? You know that? Do you have

a sister? Yeah, she's eight years older than me. And for the first couple of years of my life she was vicious and I'm still not over it. Well, no, it's just because she was eight when I was born. So to her it was like there was two other boys than I was the other girl who was getting the tension. Because so for like the first fifteen years of my life she hated me, and then one day she decided that she wanted to be my mother as well,

and so never interesting. I mean, do you remember when I was in and she wouldn't let me watch Bachelor And I was like, I have a lifestyle, not a life. I'm a lifestyle. I want a lifet a lifestyle. Lifestyle. Evil sister? Do you have? Are you the baby? Are you the baby? I'm the baby? I'm the baby? Are you the baby? I did come out last? I do have an older sister. And she's wonderful. I always thought sisters were two more bond they when they were young. But yes, if you think sister be quick. But I

was sort of like the boys. It was my brothers, not like a casual thing like we text like once a month, like what help, dude, what's going on? Well we're good with that. Everyone's cool and close, and but sisters seem like more in each other's business. Are they back home? Are they back back home North Carolina? You're the best, um okay, So so then the twins, the twins go. We got a scallop fingers, we got a tickle monster, we got a serial killer and a dany

babies where like the Allen a misfit toys. That's true, It is true. It was true. That was actually an honest assessment that some producer roe. Yeah right, you still understand, Like I guess I just had a moment that last like maybe week or two, maybe week where it just ruins the show adding all these people because I think it's more interesting to see if these couples are going to develop or not and like what's happening between the

than just adding these just joker wild idiot. I think they I think they feel like there aren't any besides Derek and Taylor, and nobody wants to. Let's be real, they're not. It's not exactly Curly and Evan of last year. But take four couples and do something interesting. Make them do like you know what those ridiculous dates on The Bachelor put them in in like I'd like to see Raven and I don't know anything about the relationship, and

I like I like them both. They both like drugs, like they're drugged, and they distinct just looking at everybody, we're just like, I mean, we were drugged yesterday. They're all lounging around the whole time. Give her activities, make them like the relationship that you were back in the day, make them do like challenges. Don't remember that. I think this is the worst season in Bachelor in Paradise. Well, they picked well, they have too many people from the

last season, Rachel's season. They don't usually have that many guys. They should mix it up, put more obstacles, and then all sudden they keep adding the worst humans already boring. Talking about boring, there's a strong possibility a leg And this is from my friend Laurie there's a strong possibility that don't say Ben Higgins might be the Bachelor again. I can't do a redo. Well we did a read. There was a redo. I really hope that's not paint dry.

I hope that's not I think quite honestly, I think they're freaking I think they just want Peter, and I think Peter is not giving it up, and so they are about they can't go back to Luke. People like to then Luke got there is a controversy and like he was like playing all these girls. It was like this really bad. He turned out to be a total dog.

People did like, why can't they just start a new start us success a man with a job, not a social media influencer, you know, and like a like a real like an actual successful guy that's not just known for being on a reality ship like these guys are. Some of these guys aren't prizes. No, no, And we're going to watch it either way, so give us something good. Ratings are going to go down if we don't know the guy. Oh my god, probably what are we gonna

do if it's Ben Higgins. Honestly, I've never done cocaine? Should I start? Yeah? I might have to take up fight club, a fight thing. We might have to film somewhere where we have like a safe room where we can just go break ship in between. So angry at his scripture, tattoos on his riads, and he like and the Lord made me so boring. He's like, tell everybody Lord, and then he would do this, Then he would do this. I love you, I love you of you. I know it's day one, but I deeply love all thing was.

I feel like a little kid and I'm around her. She makes me feel like I'm a little kid. Oh my god, I can't find my penis. I'm just like a little kid who loves you. I feel comfortable in sand. Don't oh god, I said it. They can't well, they can't go back to Chris Sola's Oh my god, cat like brushed under the rock, back in a vehicle. Oh I guess I can't. Prison edition and they lay in the ladies prisons. Do you guys want to play drinking? No,

he would really be popular in prison. So come over here from boy spend time in a Turkish prison, seem a grown man naked. Okay, So then the twins say, I'm going to ask serial killer jack Stone on this date. I never thought i'd be into serial killers. I'm just gonna roll with it and see how it goes. Dean said no to the twins anyway, So basically what I'm pulls Dean aside, and she's like, go out with me, No, go out with me, No, go out with me. No, okay, I'll see you later. He won't go out with me,

and she get permission from Dela. Okay, Dila, could I go out with Dean? I guess she said, I could go out with you that crazy I have Highlighter out by Jake Balls. That was the best reenact so literally the landing, the landing, Yes, seriously, that's exactly what happened. That's what Yeah. And then in the background it was all like that is that's her repression of Kristen and everybody. And then the then said, so we came to Paradise.

I wanted Dean, I wanted Derek turns out there dating shallow, ugly horrors and we don't want to be a part of that because we're not that. And then one mom said, I think Delo's hot. If you enjoy talking to with the wall or paint dry they and then they left, giving everybody the finger. They killed people, shallow, ugly horrors, they were not elegant. Then they deserve what your mom

said about you know what, and when they turned. When she puts that curse on a small town real estate agent, she pays that you're not going to get a good summer rental, like a reverse Benjamin Button. It's just like Parrisany you to sixty, Now, you're not gonna get water front property from me. Okay, get a book Cliffs Notes on aging because you can't read your dumb idiots. Oh my god, that exact date sex I can't. Okay, So then um so then they go out, they give everybody

the finger. They leave, and Wells starts talking with an Australian accent about scalp Fingers. Thoughts he is enjoying doing his monologues about scalp fingers every episode, every episode. Yeah, you know, Wells to me is always just funny and refreshing. And uh, I think we've the scalpel We've had enough. But I did, I do. I do like him, and I like those accents. He did a good accent, he did just he's really entertaining. He yeah, I mean, he

just again if what if? What if b I P was like seven Wells, Well, it's just the people are just Heidi Flice's brother, who created the show, Mike Fly, said, Wells will not be the new he would be a great Batch. Well maybe well doesn't want to do it. I think he would. Yeah, he re certainly retweets when people say well and stuff deprecating. It's like, I don't want to say I would, but retweet. But I'm like, outside the Mansion, Puppets, I'm ready to go. My friend

Laura and I drove to the mansion went. It's right on the road, like it's literally there's no area. It's up way the fuck way, like north of Calabasa. It's way the fun you know. Do you know where? Do you know where the Paramount Ranches where they do like Westerns and stuff like Canaan Roads over that way on Canaan Road. It's right on Canaan really on your way

to Malibu or the other way. So if you're if you're driving from the valley to Malibu, it's like closer to the valley and it's on the north side of the street. But it's really like I was just over that way it's pretty far away look out and it's fin there's a fan coming by. The girl just got off the ranch dingdom. I hope they pay that family a lot of money because that would be so annoying. They move out three times a year and then they and then they and they put ten boys and girls

like they shoved ten or twelve to a room. They have like six bunk beds per bedroom. They need to burn that house down and rebuild, because that is just staying and regret. Ladies, if you going through IBF out there, you could just walk in and get pregnant by a bodybuilder and maybe just slip and fall just seeing the house and gett Yeah, we all just got pregnant. I I could just walk in and get pregnant. I could throw a banana peel down on the floor, slip on

it and get pregnant. And then it could be anybody's. I hope it's Chris Harrison. God, it can only so then well it's talks with the Australian Taylor and Derek, Okay, so then they confess that they're falling in love. It was like watching too like Texas Instruments seven Calculated trying to get sea, I feel that I am possibly having like it wasn't even like well programmed. It's like early being, like like a pung video, she said. It makes me want to lean in. I feel that I am having

feelings funny. I also return return your return. I know it's like therapy words. Your suggar word is making my titties feel any and you can tell he's trying to like He's like I feel when you say when you say I feel that I am falling in love with you, I also feel that when you say I'm falling in love with you, it makes me feel funny. On I'll point to the area on the doll where my my private is feel funny. I feel like I verbally stepped over a boundary, but I'm okay with it because it

comes with feelings. The most born couple. And if we get to go into the fantasy suitets, you will be penetrated three times with permission, and then I will come out and respectfully you my rose right after I take my comb and comb my hair. God, have you ever seen an episode of the show You're doing something right? You're doing it was amazing that one episode when he just went fuck you feels like his real self came

out for a minute. I know, but don't you think he's like a pot and she's the lid and she's like, now, yaw, the Diligen's like I mean, because she knows she's annoying. And I do feel like like I'm not a real fuck you kind of a gal, but I feel like if I hung out with her so so I'm taking the entire moment because I was like, she handled herself correctly. There's no excuse for you. But after you get post so any times like it's gonna be like wedding vows

and it's gonna be like, do you take this month yourself? Like, Darren, do you have anything on your mind that you want to get out? Sucking her face? I feel the best of the immediately buttoned it up again. I am sorry. I said that. I didn't mean that clearly not. I did not take your feelings into any consideration. I guess if I'm exploring the inwards, I would say she handled

exactly like you thought she would. I'm gonna need two days to press this in like a hot like a high cut, like a thigh high white string, white like eighties cut Linda Evangelista one piece of white meetings. Talk to me in two days when you start for me to go fuck myself during our wedding vouse, I just I need that space. We regroup in twenty five minutes and you get your shut your color, you get use wedding sort on, but sort off, and I don't know

what's happening. I'll up in twenty guys, I'm gonna play your balls to open a jar high on the high shelf in a time out. Your balls are getting a time out, and they're gonna think about how they make me feel when they say fuck. He just stares at her in silence, and then it's like, I'm sorry I had the original thought. It's probably not right. I'm gonna sit on it. I'm gonna shove him a ball sack, and then I'm gonna say something that you would enjoy conclusion.

See you to day. I actually feel like, no, maybe they have it at sex, like maybe, like I almost feel like maybe they have it, which is him coming up like I gotta get at it. I just gotta get at it before Yeah, unless she's been turning them down because he goes you want to go up stairs with me and make me tired before bed. And she's like, She's like, verbally, you want to talk to each other for a couple of hours, wear you down into complacency.

Oh my god, great couple. Great couple. And then they're gonna make it. I feel well that was happening. Well, those two calculators were talking, I have a love. The twins were going, we are going to go on a date with each other. Oh, this is before they left. We're gonna go on a date with each other and have a really good time, and we're gonna bring these two douche bags with us. And then Tickle walks up and says, which one of you is mine? And then she said, if you tickle me, I'm gonna drop you

on the ground. And then and then Tickles shirt, he was wearing a T shirt, had a pocket of the sunset on his pocket. And then jack Stone is like, I am I want to stay with the virgin. And then she was like, do you really think that I wanted to go out with a serial killer? And that's

when she left. She gave everybody the finger and she goes, fuck you, jack Stone, and she they take scallops and they start throwing scalops down below and says screw you, scalop fingers and um and then and then they say somebody said they're gonna go have to watch Frozen and they're gonna play with fidget spinners. That to me was really far me. I can't remember because I burst out laughing. It was so good. I questioned all my life choices

while were throwing scalops. And then when he said they have to go watch Frozen, I thought I can continue watching this. Well, I actually I'm not a vegetarian, but I was like, that's twelve animals that lost their lives. Those scalops were twelve live scalops and they just to get used to not be eaten. Even do you get thrown by twins down screaming fuck you scalop fingers, and those were twelve. I'm reading a major vega now that I now that just like Taylor, you guys, I'm the worst.

I hate myself some carrots. I mean to give myself a time out. I'm reading movies. Books. Can't kill carrots, can you. So then they said we need to have sex three times if there's a fantasy. He right, sweet, and then she says at least three times times and then we can get engaged and that you're eating the kid that Carrott died for you. And then Chris Harrison comes and he says, this is the last day in Paradise. It was like, did they just run out of money?

Their budget got slug? I think after the Twins through Scallops, everyone's like the show an dumber. Let's call maybe because they wasted two weeks on the In the contrary, they did, they did? They lost? They did? They did lose two weeks, so maybe they lost it on the back end. Also, did you see the camera drop at one point in time? Because I was sleeping, That's why they did. I did see that. I'm kidding. Didn't happen. Everyone was so bored

while they're shooting. There wasn't a weird shot somewhere. There was like a weird Maybe I'm just losing my mind and I'm hot. Here's what I want to say the end of Paradise. I'll pick someone want to talk about Dilo for one second and stick at Delos like like I feel like all she knows how to do is act like you're about that me and like we have a secret, like Yeah, it's going to be really fun. Yeah,

I'm really excited about that we have. I'm really excited to see where we're going, Like the really be more dynamic. She's not dynamic. You said, I think she dealo is really smart. You said that I did because she looks smart to me. She looks she looks like she's put she's put together and she's smart and she's bringing the lot to the table and then she can't find the table unless they're just like not showing that side of

her overall? Do you think she buried that side? I mean, I was glad to finally see Christina just said the same conversation over and every time she's like, I'm not going to put up with this, but then and then and then she kisses every time. Are better than this? Okay, I'll hug you. And what she make out with her at a certain point it was on her because he can't break up with her and she wouldn't leave or listen to it. Also, like listen, I can't imagine what

her upbringing was like. But you can't. You can't drop orphanage twice when you're on b I p like you, just like she just like you. Can't come. That story was so like, oh my god, so overwhelming. We've been all on team Christina for so I think she she's like a really I think she's very super datable. But but then she was just like, I'd rather be an orphanage than pairs, you know, and you're like, oh no, would you eat it the orphanage Christina? Well, you know,

not a lot of options. Lipstick, a grass and a little bag of paprika and a leather belt, and then of course you chew on belt and then you they being the baby you give him after trying, but never gone to her hometowns. I found out. I found out it was because he sub let out his apartment and so he didn't have any word. He thought he'd be gone for the month, so he didn't have any where to go. Think about it, a lot of people have

any nobody gets paid to be a bachelor. So like we saw her his dad, you know what I mean, It's like, it's not like he's played somewhere to go, and he was just like, oh, okay, that's our forty five, that's like his father. So he had so he's okay, well that makes more sense because I was just like, that's kind of on him to go to her hometown, even her family and everything. I don't know. I didn't know how much. And then they then then they went on a road trip to Chicago. I know Alex saw

them in Chicago. I don't know what kind of scoop you got. I didn't know anything about. I didn't hear that part from him. You see, you seem to really like, uh, hanging out with the Dean him, liked him, I loved him. My friend Lorie, who is married to a woman is literally was so confused talking to she came really like, she was like, I love he was just so charming. She I mean, he's a real swean. Did you love Dean. Yeah, there's a sweetness, a real sweet Christmas. And he looks

really when he talks, so beautiful. He said to me, he goes, God, your your voice is so annoying. But because I talked him on the phone, he goes, your voice is so annoying, but in person, you're really pretty. I think he was rolling on Molly, you know, it's just like he was rolling on the phone. And then to the lady who was like, so the lady who helped me book, but that I was like, but I was like, oh my god, and like the woman who who like to help with the like who helped me

book it, and who like basically booked the festival. She said that, you know, she's a girl, own, woman in her forties who's got babies. And he said to her, she was trying to get the W nine like a signature, and he goes, what even is a signature? And then he looked during the eyes and goes, God, you're so pretty, and all of us are like, is this happening? We all loved Dean. Everyone's panties just dropped. Everyone felt I wouldn't say mine dropped, but they were confused. It was confused.

We all were like, I wonder what effects you'd have on me. You would love him, you would literally have He would make you feel confused, he would make he made me feel so pretty, And like, did you did you feel a little confused with Dean? He's yeah, he's charming because he looks here in the eye and he really talks to you. I was actually more confused by Alex. You know, it's just like you're kind of precious. I didn't really feel like a huge I didn't spend a

lot of time. We didn't have him sit on you, but I literally was like, I am so confused. Yeah, oh my god, he's super hot, so hot you can't even it's literally, let me say, you don't even know you that's where fucking hot. He doesn't. I don't want to bang him, but I really want to get and on his face. He's handsome. He just has terrible tasting cloth, terrible tastes, the best tasting clothes. Look at him. I love his tasting clue. Look at his super Mario brothers.

I love everything about it. He's very so he's so much man. Would I mean, he's really handsome. It seems I got a very successful We had a very straight Kenny Keny. It worked. We did it. We did this straight. It was actually not outside of Bachelor. You guys, I like dicks. You guys the Bachelor, you can also grow to love the dicks as well. Come with me, sweet, That was with the Bachelor, bacheloright contestants. Yeah, and you

guys out, I'm straight, interesting, interesting. He dressed like the falcon. He did it like Robbie for us. Oh LORI also said, side note because she gets in deep and I'm gonna want to host your hosses. We're going to wrap it up. Laurie also said that, um, because she reads all the realities to you stuff, but I don't let her tell me the spoiler is. But here's one that nobody will

care about. Apparently, what the Twins said at the preview for the upcoming show that Robbie, they are you still together? To Robbie in a man, They're like, uh huh, and then they were so then the Twins were like, oh, really,

you haven't been cheating on her? What about the photos about a Laurie said, those are all accurate and there's all these He's been totally cheating on her, but they've been together, so they could be like make it to the end for like influencer status right right, corporate couple. I was wondering because he's friends with Josh, so I didn't know he is friends with Josh before before the show. I don't know about Josh Murray, the one that she

was with, he's the word. They were like, bros are in a ton of pictures together other for this, I don't know what now, what do you think it's gonna Did anybody also pause it? At the end and try to get see whose head popped out when they were when Chris Harrison was like, this is gonna be this is the greatest news or this is the only happy news in the preview for next week. Oh yeah, it's gotta be Taylor, And it was. And it's the only one they're They're the only ones that are like a

real everybody else is a big old dud. Yeah, okay, all right, here we go. I am going and then they're gonna announce the bachelors soon. It seems like they're teeing it up. Oh my god. I honestly think they don't have the person yet, but they keep teeing it up. You before we go, Fortune, Is there anything any shows you how that you want to Yeah? I have some shows coming up Asheville, North Carolina, ya province town for the Women's Week. Come on, Aaron, do you have any shows? Girl?

I am finally tomorrow morning putting up all the shows that Aaron k Foley because I am in town for six weeks and I have a ton of l A shows. I have a bunch of l A shows in September and then I will be doing Hyena's Dallas in December sometime and um, and then I'll be in filming in Atlanta and Anna, you've got your podcast ethnically ambiguous. Okay, here we go. I'm gonna read a couple of emails and then, UM, I'm gonna read a couple of emails, and we're gonna do the Twitter of the weekend. I'm

gonna set you guys free. We had a another bachelor pet adopted our podcast. That's awesome. Okay, ready our shut your pats were doing the Lord's work. This is from Elizabeth Wren Arden. This is my sweet girl, Peach. My husband and I adopted her from La Mancha Edible Rescue and you Neville, Pennsylvania on August nineteen, and she has such a light in our lives. They said. She and her litter mates were originally dropped off unwanted at a high kill shelter, so we're in the self before being

picked up by the rescue. I just wanted to say thank you all so much for what you do promoting animal welfare at adoption. Your podcast helps me get through the work day at my office, and I often find myself trying to muffle my laughter so I don't disturb my cubical neighbors. Um, so here's a photo. Look at Peach, Oh, look at has six pounds And this is Peach with her girl. I don't know, but this is Peach with

the siblings. Like we're gonna put it on and you will get a terrible This is the last know, this is the last week where I'm going to be doing portraits because there's no time consuming. So there you go. I paint pictures. I paint. If you're adoptive, it's got to be a new adoption and not year old shelter pat because I don't have that kind of time. All right, here we go, here's two more. I'll do two more emails.

This at random, let's see, okay from this is from Lynn Shure small birthday request are Aaron, Rob, Katie and and all the finger blasting friends. And I have been listening to your podcast since Nick season and was hooked immediately.

I'm now the crazy lady and New Jersey transit on Wednesday or now at the I P Thursday mornings with her head pressed to the window, hoping no one notices the stifled, hysterical laughing and honestly with how oddly bland and weird, Nick Rachel's and this season of Bachelor Paradis have been Your podcast has been a breath of fresh air and what has made these season's worth watching. I was introduced to your show by my dearest best friend Mark, who lives very far away and insisted we listen to

the podcast in addition to watching The Bachelor. It is his birthday this coming Sunday, September ten, and it would be an absolute delight. I mean the world if you guys would give about birthdays, shout out. This is to Mark. Happy birthday, jelthday. Fuck yeah, birth your bone. That was really triggering when you said that. One. Sorry over the boundary, all right here, so I'll just read one more. There was and there were so many great emails to at Rose podcast at gmail dot com and will reply to

all of you. Here's our one final email, Animal Rescue. Hello Rose Podcast and Sexy guests. Men. I'm talking to you, Ralph Garment. Thank you for bringing the subject of rescues to the forefront of discussion. As you may know, the biggest wildfire hit Los Angeles, counting nearly missing my house this past weekend, and I was personally volunteering with all

the animals that were evacuated. There were two shelters and rescues that were evacuated during this fire, and these pups were so distressed and yet so happy to have someone take them on a walk and clean their kennels. Please give a shout out to all those that donated their time supplied to these babies, and please keep adopting. Thank you for being the light of my Bachelor Nation life. I love you all, even you Deny Baby after Paradise,

Danny Lang like, So this is from Kadide. So this here is our second to last shelter pet for our sixty ninth episode. There from they will be in l A and support of the City y l A super Adoption. This week, every city shelter along with n k l A uh No Kill l A and Best Friends and Mission Hills will have adoption discounts and extended hours. Visit l A best Friends org for more info. And please emphasize that the city shelters are taking part and they're

overflowing with pets because of the fire. So um, so go on our website and um and now here we go to the final tweets. Here we go, Here we go, do you want to read them? Who? Who wants to read them? Do you want to read the tweets? Okay? So basically we have five in the running, will nominate it down to two and you just go through to the right. You need read the name and what the

tweet is, all right? Megan Corbett at Meg Corps says at Arnon Marin, congrats to the Twins for going from lovable idiots to psychotic idiots and just on season hashtag w y a t r okay uh. Seth Vat says, do I read their name and their handles? You can eat their handle, but you don't need have to read our name. At Bassbone one, when I wake up with someone's banana while booming in my face, it probably just means I'm short on rent again. Yea comes through. There's

another one from Seth. Robbie's a fraud. A true kindle would have unfaith, would have been unfazed by that nut shot. Yes, another from Seth. Christina needs to launch a spinoff of the Americans where she hides Dean's body every episode. Hashtag Comrade Christine, Oh my god? Sherry c at Who's at Tickle but with a why? Apparently Amanda went to the if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything school of dating. I'm just gonna go. There's only one in

the running. Can we hear the winner? It's got to be the comrade, The comrade. Hashtag comrade Christina can wear seat seth at at base Bone one or Bassbone one. Who knows Christina needs to launch a spinoff of the Americans where she hides Dean's body every episode. Hashtag comrade Christine that joy. I love the Americans and I love the tweet. Oh my god, I love the Americans. I love the tweet. I love you guys, Fortune your time

for you Aristotle. I want everybody to know that I went on a bender last night because I lost all my underwear and then once that I had just left with my worst underwear ever. I literally lost all my n I went on a bend room and bought all the underwear online, including yes the follow up from yesterday's episode, Box of Brief. What kind? What do I have? I don't know? Gap like gap something like that? Here? Anybody, anybody before we get out and leave it on the field. Um,

I can't wait. Have the greatest, greatest d of your life. Hey, you know what we're doing, the Lord's work, you guys, we are wait for it, wait for it. Come on, press collo you press play on my country. Here we go. Here, we got a year, I got, I got the same spotted in back of the van. Hello, hellow, I gave you a three chests, and then you guess I can't roses, ros I can, but your plows a nice you know what I like, the taste of a rusty belt in the summer, rolls into your world with a rose in

my vachime. You're dead now, leaving nice dot com.