"Eddie Tells All"

a very special episode of Will You Accept This? Rose Aaron Foley is out of is in Waco, Texas, where she belongs by the way, you know, she decided to date man and she needs to break Texas. But that's what stressed us to you, by the way, Yeah, you were like, you know what, I'm just gonna throw on the towel and go hardcore. And I didn't want to make any decisions if I like, if I do it a call, I don't ever have to make a decision again. But we have here. We have been doing an experiment

on a human male for the last twelve weeks. Um uh, If you guys have been listening, and I assume if you're junior. Now you have at least heard one of them. Ed comedian legend Eddie Edward peppatone legend everywhere in Waco, Texas, for sure. We've been putting him through an experiment and just to see what would happen to a person, Mike Eddie Peptone. Um, if you watched the entire Bachelor, Hello, Eddie, how are you? You're alive? Yes, I am, I am alive. Wow.

So it was an experiment. It was an experiment. God damn it. I should have known it when I saw the pamphlets in your briefcase. I'm Stanford University stamped Bachelor Experience. Yes, blue collar guy. Yeah, we should mean that I actually had something to do with Stanford University, which makes me so happy. Eddie. May I just say, coming at the end of this experiment, you look better than ever. You're clean shaven, You've got a nice baby face under all

that yelling and scrub. Yeah. You know, I'm working on on on getting rid of the the anger and the scruff and the gruff. You know, but it doesn't it doesn't. Yeah, I mean you know, yeah, yeah, shave. If I shave, I realized, well, look at the cleanness. You've got a nice skin. Indoors that seen daylight l a by the way, it's hilarious. You know. I think people think that O l a great outdoors town. It drives you indoors. Let

me tell you what. As a natural redhead and and and a new Englander to have moved to the desert, I feel a little very I feel very grouchy and boo Radley like that. I just want to hide indoors and scream at the sun. I hate the sun. Ohe me too, And do you know that it's like the thing that really hurts me in the morning. And this is gonna sound so insane, and it sounds so insane to people. But as soon as I see the light coming in, god damn it another sunny day. That's what

me too. I got excited when I heard it was an El Nino winter, and it did not deliver. It did not deliver the goods. It was like it was like a real premature El Nino ejaculation. Oh it was you know. You know. My wife warned me, she said, don't get too psyched because me and are are like,

oh look, honey, look, look it's hazy. June gloom out here if you don't know, in Los Angeles the only livable month is June because for whatever reason, every morning there's like this haze, and then every sept they call it June gloom. It should be June June joy. Yes, exactly, JJ. You know what hashtag j J. Let's get that going. Let's get that going podcast guest. Let me just say also,

I don't know if you get this. I get like seasonal effective disorder in September when it's like when it's like a hundred and twenty degrees and I know, back East it's like getting nice, like the leaves are gonna start turning, and I want to kill myself. How on the same paper we are we're in the wrong part of the country. And then something pointed out to me, well, Eddie, if you went back East, you would slowly become miserable

with that cycle. Well but I don't think so. But you'd be mad because that cycle is now too hot. You'd be mad. You'd be thinking back to childhood and you'd be like, what the hell is October and it's like eighty five degrees? No October should be October should be like fifty, is it? Back East five and October is well, Christmas was like sixty this year. There's no quyenne or none. Eddie. Um, you just went to sell By Southwest. I did, I did, and it was it

was okay, it was okay. I find you know again, like I've been branded, keep Austin branded. What they are really that is really uh wow, corporate sponsorship everywhere. Did you get any like a nice swagwag sucked for me? I just I just got bag to you got a tote Yes, I got. I got bags full of listings, That's what I got. I got so excited. You tell me I'm going to get a tote bag like a

goodie bag. You treat it like a goodie bag. And then all it is is like a course catalog from you know, like University of Phoenix, but for smart people and people who are actually doing something in themselves. Eddie and I were talking about before this came on, the ability to keep yourself really Now. I don't know how many podcasts you're doing today, but I'm doing I'm doing a podcast that I'm doing a free filming. But like

it is, I full. I've eat into my blue Jasmine phase of like I just go in my closet and I think what you know the movie, the Woody Allen movie where Kate Blanchet, basically she owned a chanelle's suit and then eventually she jumped off the Golden gate Bridge. She didn't she didn't think she did. I thought it ended with her just staring bleakly on a bench. Didn't she kill herself? I don't think so. Maybe maybe I'm just thinking about killing myself and maybe you're projecting. Maybe

you're projecting it. By the way, that laughter is a nervous laughter from all of us in here. Yeah, we're all on the next to Francisco sketch Fest. It will be my swan song. And I'll just go right to the gate bridge. Yeah, you know what, You're like, good place to go, I think for you to go. And you know what, maybe maybe I could do like a nice stage reading of something beforehand, like a wet, hot

American summer stage reading. I I kiss both Michaele and Black and Michael Showalter on the mouth, and then I go jump off the Golden gate Bridge. That's gonna have I go. Maybe I do a drive by Catarino. I grabbed Paul runs balls and I jump off the Golden Gap Bridge, I would just do. Mine would be I would jump off the Arizona that's the bridge between Brooklyn and Statland, and I would re enact a one man

version of Picnic. Will you Picnic? Which is about a stranger, a well muscled stranger coming into town and upsetting this life. And I would do it shirtless and look horrible. But is that what you as you're following, because that's know you're gonna do it. I would go up, you go up on the bridge, and then you'd reenact that. So like people, you could like get a kickstarter campaign like it, would you be ironic that we'd be financing your dreams somebody.

I heard somebody say finance as a finance the other day and it made me went to punch the man. You know what, I'm having some finance issues, right, I'll say, you are. You can't pronounce it. So you would go up to the Arizona Bridge re enact a one man version of Picnic. By the way, I don't think your listeners would know pick well. I just they're like, they're like, why aren't you talking about Lauren Joe. Let me just

tell you what you might enjoy this. When I first moved to New York, I went to the Stella Adler. I auditioned for the Stella Adler and I with her. I auditioned with me to straighten my spine, that's all she said. Well, you shouldn't have been walking like an stuck you. That's my trademark. That's what I should have told her, you know, I should have said, that's my thing,

that's my that's my class. I went in and I auditioned with a. I wrote it a five minute one woman version of the Glass Menagerie and saying this, well, as I mentioned before, I do have my glass animal collection. They made me come back. Thank you so much, Eddie. That's very kind. Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll do that at Sketch first before I go mouth kiss Paul rud and then no, I don't know. I think you're like,

who's going to be there at Dutch Best. He'd probably be like one of the big like Ted dancing and Paul rolling the bigger stars I could find, like maybe there's like a board to Death reunion fucking Ted dancing dance and he kind of like ageless, like he read from like chunky guy to kind of like funny older Stone. I loved him in Fargo. I didn't the TV show love Fargo. Love I'll tell you why I love Fargo,

particularly because I was trapped in Atlanta filming. I think we spoke a little bit, at least texted because we were talking. That's when The Bachelor started. We did. The Bachelors started in January. One of the worst terms in my times, in my life, because I was filming in Atlanta after the adult Swim show and they had me there for over three weeks and only used me a few days. I was it does it is partly was partly great because I could totally like heal some things.

But the other part of driving me nuts. I've had that. I worked for a month in Vegas. I did a movie and I by myself and like I wasn't even at the same hotel. It was like Jake Gyllenhaal and Jared Leto and so they were all at like I was in a big movie that did not turn out to be a big It was like my journey team. I was the girl that was like who would fuck her? Like that was my car? I was like I was like Jared the parts I go for it, just like

the butcher who has pancreatic problem. And I'm like, I'm a lot more than that. We should pitch a romantic comedy together. Take twice in the Arizona Bridge to suicidal people. They fall in love. She's doing She's doing the one woman show. Okay, wait a minute, so so wait a minute, we're Atlanta. So yes, I got crazy film because I only filmed for like three day and I was at a different hotel and I got so isolated and weird in this awful hotel. They were all at the fancy

hard rock. I was at like the Rio, and uh, I just spent days alone. I had no money, so it's like I couldn't gamble and I was like, I was like the same the lady and they let go a while ago because you have money today. Now that's a blue jasmine. I do have some or a but cash. I can't take you out for lunch. Then I have not Really, I have a bleak future that will take place on like Tampa. Oh God, don't do it in Tampa because if you hate this weather, I hate it it.

Maybe a bang remain remain that's better better. Okay, wait a minute. So you were in Atlanta and you were having some some soul searching, some soul searching. Well, I was so exactly. I got isolated, very So that's I got you in. You're like a weak moment where you're like, all right, I'll do a podcast. I'm lonely, I'm bored. Sure, this sounds fun. Not really, I'm the marathon. I wanted to do it with you to fully, not so much,

but I wanted to do it with you. And uh, I was like, okay, well Arton really wants to do this. And then you know, I watched it, and well it took me three episodes. Can I just say I just started. I just started last season watching it. This was a very boring season. Now, how was that? Here's a question, because I heard you say that before. How was then the other seasons you watched? I only watched one? How

was last season? She was funny and so it was a bachelorette was a woman, And oh, you didn't watch the batchel No, no, no, so you only watched the Bachelor. I watched the Bachelorette, so that's a different Yeah. So she was funny and watching two men like fell in love with each other. That were there, Like, now, that is funny and kind of interesting if it really happened. I find that Here's what I have in general, well, in general the problem I have with reality TV and

was hammered home for me. Even though some of the ship was great, let's just talk about a little of this. What was your favorite? I think my favorite and they were my top moment my favorite, No, my top moment was when they left Olivia on the fucking Peach and the producers And this is my problem with reality TV. But but in this case, it was great because my problem with reality TV is that I see what they're doing and I don't feel like there's very genuine moments.

I feel like all of this quote unquote emotion is fucking no. Let me tell you this, I actually my friend, even though I cried a couple of times, did you during the year? But I think I cried mostly in Atlanta because it just happened to Tuesday was your crying Jack Day and just so happened to be honest, when you got it on Hulu. But you got it on Hulu. Okay, Okay, So I do think that I'll tell you what was interesting because I knew years ago, and I wish i'd had I had a meal with a woman who used

to be the producer of the Bachelor. But this is before I watched it. It was she she dates a friend of or she's now married different of mine. So but it was but it was before she the big person. Yeah, yeah, she was. She doesn't run it anymore. She made her fortune and left, and so this was before. This was before I watched it, So I just must are asking hypothetically. I wish I could ask her now, but um, so basically she was saying, we were like, what's because I

was not a fan, I didn't watch. I was like, how foolish, and she goes, it's actually, she's like, you get you know, obviously, you get some people that just want to be in tv a, she said, but then you get the people that truly believe like that Disney destiny, this is my destiny, Like that's my that's you get the people that truly believe in like the storybook, like

and then the Prince came in. And then I think partially because they're isolated from technology, that's very true that they Now that's what's fucking cruel about the show is that they I forgot about that that they isolate these people just like we were talking about being isolated exactly.

They get isolated in the house, right ture you in your hotel in Atlanta fighting over Let's pretend you weren't married, hypothetically and like eventually you'd be so bored that you would get invested in be like, why did Lucco look at me? Absolute? Yeah, I would be. I purposely have to stay away from situations like that because I'm vulnerable to tremendous amounts of control. Interesting, Wait a minute, I

am as a fascinating statement. Okay, wait when you say that being imposed like in other words, like if if, if I'm experiment, yes, I'm like, oh, forget it, because I'm a needy person. I realize you would like that, you would kind of enjoy, you would be would you would be malleable? Well, I think a lot of people are, so I do think. I do think eventually it's didn't

do in reality? But what did the person? She said, She said that it truly that in the moment that they really believed that this was destiny and that and that and they're and they're competitive. People are competitive, and they're only like in castles or on helicopters or on islands, and it's like you get swept up in the fantasy that people in the moment, that the emotions are sincere.

By the way I talk about that aspect of the show that was to me is that all those dates were so funny to me because like he would open the barn door and it would be he would always be a band that would be a famous band, not even just like a shitty little garage band. You're like, oh great, it's my favorite. It's the lady that played on Ali mcbeel for four days. I love her. I'm so you have to like they're like feed the line and then you have to slow dance alone in front

of a camera. My god. And then you pointed out that there would be a date like that, and then the next day they'd be eating at some he takes some other woman with the corner corner table with a couple of beat polls, and then maybe like I'm so excited, I really wanted to bring you here. This is my favorite deli and I just really want to show this

to you. Ben Ben who always and then I found him so also well tell me yeah, all right, you didn't see the other bachelors, but I'd imagine that here's the tight rope the guys who walk on this fucking show is that they want to be seen as a nice guy. Yeah right, Yeah, they want to be seen as a nice guy, so they don't want to just

reject you know. It's it's it was so hilarious right when they got down to like the final what was it three and he had to tell you to know he didn't tell Kayla first, Kayla first, Kayla, right, just like you know, I you know first, it's like, I love you, You're just so like this, well, this is

hilariously What about that? As a woman, you gotta tell you and Aaron must have talked about this, like, you know how what kind of scene is that where this guy is just fucking around with all these and you're one of the other women. You can't get past that. I think it's you can't fast. There should be a show that exists from um, what are they polygamist? Yes, this was basically a show for you know. He was

also the first one to throw down the elbomb. No other bachelor or bachelor has ever thrown on the elbow. Nobody's ever said it right. Yeah, so that was like his error. I think now let's get in one of our Bachelor historians are producer Katie Levine. Katie's watched. Um, I think a lot of seasons, Katie. You tell me what can we ask you about bachelor's past. I mean, he did Ben seemed like he had some capacity to be kind to the ladies. I think there's been some

dicks in the past, like One Public. Yeah, One Public was a complete dick guy like get away from me or ugly. I think that's how I see you, Joy kind of like he was so ugly. He just kind of seemed like he didn't think any of them were smart, like he didn't really respect them. And then, um, remember he did something like super specific and I can't remember what it was. Was this many years ago, just like two years ago, they're three years ago. Very good looking? Yeah,

he was pretty good looking. It was kind of weird that he was chosen because he was on the Bachelorette and he got dropped pretty early on. But yeah, what about that farmer Chris? He was very nice. Was he boring? He was boring? But he lived in a town with no joke thirty people he was a farmer. They like the girls like ran off and went to his town one of the days and they were just like, oh my god, like there was like in the town of

dirty people. And then he's got thirty women. I know, I know, like he's just a corn He's like he was like a corn farmer. Okay, maybe it was three d people. He sucked his right through the town. It might have been like three people. Whatever it was, it was like the tiniest town for each resident, I get to bomb woman. And was that a more fun season than because this is a pretty boring season you keep

seeing that without having a season. Because Caitlin was so exciting and j J and Clint and the healer Tony. I think this was pretty nick This was pretty like even with Crystals. Crystal season was interesting. He's the farmer, the farmer. That was because the town it was interesting. I mean, I think it was honestly like maybe three people. It was a tiny town, like there's no grocery store they had, like they had like nothing was open. It was in Iowa. And when they went through, like nothing

was did the ladies have to move there yet? One? And that's why it was interesting because the girls go there and they're just like looking around like that was that? That was the season with britt Remember she was she was just really beautiful girl. How do you know about because I watched bouts or in Paradise she was on it. No, she wasn't unfatul in Paradise. She was the one that they voted between her and Caitlin. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. She was beautiful and she cried a lot, and she

slept in full face. She fully I would sleep in full I sleep in mind my math. But there was a lot of drama about them moving to that town because like he didn't want to stop being a farmer, and oh what happened? The woman would really have to be in love with? Yeah, and he chose this girl, Whitney, who I really liked. Yeah, is that what drove her? I'm out of here. I'm not going to sweatpant I need leather pants. It ended between Whitney and Becca actually,

and that he chose Whitney, but they broke up. That did they do? The bachelors Like, I don't believe this guy is going to marry Lauren. I think that Lauren. I think he would marry Lauren. I think Lauren watching him say I love you, You're my best friend to Jojo and fucking Kayla and Laura Jojo is gonna make it hard for that like cheerleader to get over that.

I would think what happens after the show's over and it airs and everything that people slowly like an experiment, I hate to say it, like being let out of a bunker. Yeah, they slowly come back to their time with the help of you know, you have to have support. You have to have support like a cult. Like its also like okay, here's the other thing. It's almost like

having the ultimate like camp romance. Like I would imagine I didn't go to camp, but like I can imagine, like you meet all these things you refer to you haven't seen or done. I would imagine you have like you have something in common at camp, right, but then you come back and it's like it's like Danny and Sandy from Greece they met her summer, love it, but then they go back to and then it's like, oh,

like how do we make this work? Like like now now I'm just some like software program, Like the dates are so unrealistic, like, oh, I'm going to take you Today on you know, which was cool. I was like a little envious watching the days, like, hey, we go in an airplane, like a lot of you're not meeting guys in tinder that are taking it. Can you imagine if you work, Oh, I'm like, oh, Bobby wants to

fun me and he's going to take me. Like you meet this guy at sunset and he just shoots you, shoots you right right over to like I don't know where this season. This season was tame with the dates. Normally they go out of the country and they go to like Europe and they go to like I mean France, the Caribbean. Yeah, and which could have been fun, but it turned out to be. But everybody hated the pig swimming. I love it. I would I love I love pigs.

We should take and the little turtles. I would have been like, I love the Turtle's like my drink date and was like, take a pot Sandals, Let's go to Sandals, Let's go. We have to have the electric equipment though, the need to think hard to water podcast, we can, we can, but if we're riding a pig, we can't be above water. Wed you go to the pigs and there were They always do some sort of date like the pig date to embarrass the people. So like so like they've done the past that they made the girls

sing last year. Remember they made all the guys sing. Mary and Nick killed it and killed it. That's your boy. But they like she wants, she want. She wanted to get thrown around a hotel room with he was like one. I was just mad because I thought he that Caitlyn should have chose him because they had such they really had sex. They like fucked in the church. They sucked in the church. It was awesome and Ireland. Yeah they the lady from the Cranberry serenaded that good. They sucked

in a church. It be poor. Who was that in Dublin and would be Now let me ask this dache, So what were other highlights you do you enjoyed Olivia by the Beach? Oh well that's shot because no, I just want to talk about the Olivia thing because they set it up. Yeah, like they and this is the reality TV ship that I hate. Like they just were like they focused on her because she was all about you know, I'm gonna do this and he's gonna like

you know what I mean? Like at first it was Lace crazy lace, we love who you gotta respect like lace that she fucking out use that line on the podcast before she quoted, Now, let me know you were on a reality show where you I was, and I hated the ontrivance of it. You that's like finance. Real Housewives of Atlanta would have been at that point in that hotel if they would have put me in a dress and said, look, you leaks this week. You're pissed

that she's important, she's you have a new hairline. Okay, so wait a minute, so you but you were on last comic standing yes twice. Why did you go back? Very good question? So how far did you make it? Both times? And this is so funny, both times to the Vegas round where determined who goes in the house, both being Dan Madderman did this twice, which was very funny. We're bound together by this, you know, Danny's a funny New York comic um And uh, both times I was

rejected in that final round. And it really is the feeling of a beauty pageant where you're like standing there, too bad Aaron isn't here, because Aaron was also part of that and we were both whispering to other, God, I hope we don't go in the house. Really, why you didn't want to get picked? Well, we were saying that I think to to kind of like, you know, it's a defense because I think ultimately you want to be So what was the process like for you? Um? Well,

the process wasn't that bad. But when they brought us to Vegas there where they were saying things like now, now you know when we drive you and they put us on it and there I am by the way with this really good comic who's just a real cool dude. His name is russam n Eve you know Russ No, but it's got a good name. Yeah, and it's a cool dude. And we were sitting next to each other on this double deck or bus on the top and

they drove us in the Vegas name. We're like, now, show us that you're really happy to be here, and you know a few cynical comments, you know what I mean, We're like cynical. You have to be excited, you have to look excited. That was really like, no, I don't want to do that. I don't want to be right they wanted us to do. Did you do it would give judges who bounced you. Oh god, you know was the funniest moment for me on that show. Was one of the judges, and I loved her her career, but

was Phillis fucking Diller. And I'll tell you why this was hilarious. She was basically a corpse at that point. And I remember, I'm not kidding, I'm not rejected you in last Nay. I say that because you know, after um, after you know that round, and she was one of the judges. They walked her through our area and I just looked at her and I said, I can't believe she's alive. She looked so like just on door death

door walking past. And what I heard her comment about with me now punchlines, which seeds into an insecurity of which I'm all, I'm all, I'm all energy. Okay, so wait a minute, So I have some punchlines. I have a few, but I know you do. We do, we do, But the punchline is ourselves. You see comics like Philis Diller, who was great because she did like such incredible stuff and paved the way for so many. You don't have to say that because the corps I see political because

you called her a corpse. No, no, no, she was. She was, but I'm saying she was great, but it hurt that she said that. No. Well, it's also I feel like stand up is different now, like I feel like in the past it was more but um bump, but ump bump, And I feel like we're both a little worthier is ourselves and something. People like Philis Dilla

don't get that from that generation. It's like they just see people not doing a craft what they consider the craft, and you know what I mean, and they could go funk themselves. They should go funk themselves. That should go funk themselves. Question did you who came up with the idea of you doing that? Like? Were you did? Here's what's hilarious the first season. I was on the first season and went all the way to the semis and

that was a total fucking accident. Someone had dropped out and I was asked by the guy directing it, um, can you fill in at the I think it was Carolines in New York and I won that night, like out of the blue, I just like, all right, I'll fill in. I didn't go through this. I didn't go through any of this process of waiting online, even though the second time I did it and that and my man, you know, I'm just so desperate, you know, like, oh, maybe this will be the thing you're willing it could

have been. Well, they my manager at the time. I don't know how many years ago this was. God, I hope it was many. Um she was like, oh no, no, no, you know a lot of people watch the show, so you know, I had some good moments from the first season, because I'll never forget. Um. I had done this Eddie Peppertone theme song on my Eddie Peppertone theme song, and

it got on television, which is you know, here's the setup. Um, folks, we used to have great people in this country, but are people about Our country has become so mediocre now that well, our folks songs instead of being for great people like George Washington, things like that, it's like our folks songs about mediocrity. For me, my folks song would be Eddie Pepperton, Eddie Peppertone. He just borrowed another five grand.

He's afraid to go in elevators for some reason all of a sudden, and he never finishes the books that he starts. Well, I walk backstage, I look backstage at the Nantucket Film Festival. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and Most how do you say his name? Most def was back there and he saw me and started singing the song and he's a cool dude. Yeah. Most was, that's a great theme song. That's a great I should, I should, I should resurrect it? You just did? I think, well, I

just did. Yeah, but I never used it on because I'm like, I got to do currently. How you feel? I like your I don't believe me. I'm like I dusted off some stuff because I I never I never should I do it on the road. I've well, I've never submitted for like uh special or anything. So I

was like, this year, I'm gonna film it. I'm gonna submit for the Comedy Central so like and of course like this stuff that I retired a while ago, and people like I like like that that was the thing, and in my mind I almost felt hackey doing it. But that was the stuff that everybody really liked, the stuff that I haven't done for a year. Yeah yeah, probably because they liked the structure of You're like, oh that because I actually got worked out for a while.

Everyone's like for years until it doesn't feel fresh to us. Know, it's like it's so dated, right, even though when I just sang that there, I was like, you're updated maybe you know, like you know, just whatever. I don't think you need to update it. Jess Barton was five, still relevant, still afraid of, still afraid of elevators, probably not finishing a book where I have like ten books on my dress next to me and they're all pretty good, but I can't. I know, I like I got desperate, I

got I was there was nothing in my bookshelf. Like I was like, all right, I don't know how I got my hands. And it's like a Truman Capodi Answered Prayers. I never purchased it, but I was like, all right. I was like, so I started reading it. Not even in cold Blood, No, it's like not even like breakfast at Tiffany's exactly like Answered Prayers is the one that sometime I was like, I was like, that's the one I want. I can't and that I know, you know what.

I went through phase where I got real murdery. I like read a lot of duder books and I scared myself so much that I already have night terrors just like on a Tuesday. You know what I mean, I wonder why I already it's right, Yeah, it's below the bund between the Lacey was hout. You know it Wasia. That's my children's book. I got really into the one the Dollia, the black DOLLI avenger you read that one. I got into the Black Dog while I mean they had me at she was slit from the you know,

the cutter and half you had. Did you read the wellman? Did you read me about the guy who started investigating it and then discovered it was probably his dad. He was like a police officer. The black dolliest injury you can get the black dolls. Really I was. I was addicted to murder. So it was that and then it was also that was the same year that Devil in the White City came out. Also good with the guy who built the who had like the labyrinths for murder.

There was like it went back and forth. I haven't read that one. I haven't really good cue. It was really like it went back and forth between like the men who designed Central Park are building the World's Fair and also other part of the book, the man who built a labyrinthy like building and it was like one house borders like murdered, like dozens in the like a serial killer in Chicago. I just, I just I just

had a vision of reading children devil in the White City. Yes, like like just like little kids, yeah, real little like Okay, here we go round. No, instead of cookies, you just you see those kale chips, kale chips and water and devil in Wait sitting now, Eddie, let me ask you this back to the Bachelor, will you be joining us on any further seasons or are you yeah, tapping out? So now I think my interest I think if I don't guys, oh right, she is gonna be filing right now.

It's gonna air may so she will be engaged by to somebody else. Who did you like that? Or Lauren or Jojo? Do you believe was your girl? Do what you liked? You believe that was your girl? Oh? Well, I like the only reason I liked, you believe is

because she was so kind of nuts. I mean, her nuttiness was out there and she was kind of like like she couldn't handle that scene, right, I mean that was to be very real, like, oh she's fucking loose, she can't handle it like like she and her to be in the military, then to be that's she had prder harder PTSD from being in the house and the

like Iraq. Yeah, you just you just articulated what I was wondering about her, Like this fucking woman I thought went into Afghanist she should be laying waste to these family like bitchy little yea people an orphan in Haiti, then Afghanistan, the thing that takes her down as the Bachelor house. Yeah, that was my thought exactly, Like do you believe what the fun? Why did you think of Chris Harrison, the host? I didn't like him. I don't like him. I find him he's the reason I don't

like corporate American. I'm serious, Like he's a slick little guy. You know, he's a slick little guy, like you know, like hey, hey Ben, well it's a big day. Like I never feel I never felt like I saw that that guy. Like he's a fucking total Like he's a total fucking creation. Do you know what I mean? I think every year, Yeah, that's what I thought. He's newly divorced. I totally believe. I'm sure he he probably fucked like the girl from Michigan. That was the school teacher and

maybe one of the twins. What do you think of the twins? Oh my god, the twins. Man. The twins were like I was just like they got the gout balls by the end, they got feisty. Yeah yeah, well that well, one of them got eliminated first. Yeah, what are you talking about? Like she got she got fighty. She took down Olivia. She was on principal. She had a real be in her bondet about Olivia and on principles she took her down. Yeah. But I there's something

about twins I don't like in general. They freaked me out. Yeah, and I also I don't I think I think I resent how fucking and it's a pain. And he asked to me, like how they're always together and how like they're like yeah, it's like, go fuck yourself, you know what, you know what, I'm going through life a lot. This is my thought. I'm going through life. Sure you sure are, And it's fucking hard. You have this other self. I

feel like it's an unfair thing. And you know that they'll never be as close to you as they are with their fucking twin and they're always talking about their fucking you know, it's a good thing Aaron's not here because Aaron is a twin. But she's not she's not an identical twin. But well those are the identical twins. By the way, if you're a twin out there, not you, my mom, my mom want to hear my mom would just visited Jena Marine just visited from Little Compton, Rhode Island,

five nights, No car I was. I took her to the magic Castle. Turns out my democratic castle is always like it turns out my demographic um is lonely magicians. That's my fan basis lonely magicians. But by the way,

that's that is a redundant term. But but my mom, I remember growing up, there were these two girls in my town, Donna and Darlene, and they were not twins, but they were like Irish twins, but they looked exactly like and their mom rest them in the same out and January doesn't fool suffer fools gladly she'd be like those kids are drips, like done into because she really

has a real New England kind of like your mom. Yeah, she's like she's like she's like not up and like they lived right across the street from the school, but like their mom had like hold their hand and walk them back and forth. It's like basically, get yourself to your own fucking school, you know what I mean. If you can't buy a bus, you can't buy a bus. Like how like such sissies haven't had their handheld in

third grade walking across that their matching outfits. Let's get her drips, she did not if you were a drip. I remember like there was like um one heavy girl in our class, Candice Robinson, and it wasn't Candice. Right now, I just picture of smoking cigarettes, like listening to this podcast, she's got her ass out the window like of some like building, like a hospital building. My mom didn't care that.

It was more that her personality was tough. Like remember we had like a roller skating party for like my tenth birthday, and it was that she would come up and be like, Mrs Marine, no money will scat with me, and my mom was like, oh, don't be a drip. So my mom had like roller skater around the rake and the whole hands of Candice. My mom is really like basically, don't be a baby, don't be a baby. Nut oop Janna Marine, So what was my mom what

was my point of all this? Not up? Twins? Twins were talking abou Yeah they were no, So let me ask you this because then again I don't want to try. And I really appreciate you and to all the listeners out there. I know I took a vote for what should be our next show, So they actually voted for Game of Thrones, but I too. It was between that RuPaul drag Race and I, but we have decided it's really fun. I don't I don't have logo. I don't have logo, and you can't get it on Hulu. You

can't get it on Hulu. You can't get the show on Hulu. Why did they do that? It comes on like a year. I guess they wanted to get logo, but but logo, like any other show, can't you get it on the internet. Somehow I couldn't find it. I tried to find it. But um, we're going to maintain the purity of the podcast. So this is gonna be the first last episode of season one, and we're gonna start again the week before the Bachelorette, so it would

be the week of May fifteenth. We're gonna come back and do a preview show, and we're gonna do the Bachelorette, and then we're gonna do Bachelor in Paradise, which is you're gonna love Bachelor in Paradise. It's all there's like eight including late You're gonna love it. Now. Let me ask you this. I've seen enough a lace like, I'm so glad you see this is bad? Lace is going

back on. That's what I was. I know, I kind of what the fight, so that makes me not you know well, And it's funny that I went back to last comic standing Will you be? You don't have to agree? I feel like that Chris Harrison Pusher on after the Rose Will you be joining us? Do you want to do now? Can you now? I don't want you to hate it and do it because overall, what was? You know? What's your takeaway from twelve weeks? Like? How do you feel? Are you curious enough to want to see what happens

with Jojo and Love? Are you out? Yeah? Um, I'm not. I'm not curious. You're done? I think so? I mean maybe another show I would do, you know, like, um, oh, but you decided to do the Bachelor thing. I think we're going to maintain the purity that well what if I what what if I? What if I checked in with you guys, like on a semi regular basis, like I I sneak peaked, Like what I like to do is watch. Yeah, you can do that. We would love that. We love you, Eddie, We love you Eddie. But you

know it was it was. You know what's funny is that this is the funniest thing about it when I first agreed to it. Yeah, no, I'm pretty busy, you know, even though a failure, I'm pretty busy. Like it just seems like I'm so busy. I don't know you like this. I don't even have kids. I don't know how the fun people handle careers. Now that's nothing. Twins I hate and people who have children who were comedian, Like, how do they do it? I think it's all men. I

think they have a wife, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like, no, but some of the women do it. Only Ali Wong and and she just had a baby, and Marylynn Rice Cup, who else, Laurie kill Martin. See, it's a lot of people. My friend Jamie Dembo has two kids. Does she do stand up. No, she does sketch stand ups. Many it's the men, like all the guys have it. Oh, I see, yeah, because it's easier. Yeah.

I just I just saw Ali do a set about this because she just had a kid, and she was like, she was like, she's already doing she was saying because he was like had to get out of the house so she didn't murder her baby girl. And she was basically saying that guys get to go and it's been it was four months ago, so I don't want the people who get to have it all. But she was saying, like, oh, I'm going to have a career and a family. I

don't understand, fucking kidding. I truly don't be that's like twins. That's like twins. It's the twins. You get my feeling about it. I am so confused. So she I don't know how. I can't figure out. Can I have a chi wild Oh? And by the way, I'll be at I'll be at Caesar's Palace tonight. I think that doesn't Maybe some people, I mean maybe they're just really rich or they have family that live here. I don't know if people do it. By the way, we are both

available for higher for any amount of money. If you want Eddie and I to come to your living room and be unpleasant, it would be unpleasant to hang out just doing a podcast from your living room. We are available for hire because we want to adopt some twins. We're gonna share, We're gonna joint custody some twins. I just don't like to hear um stand ups talk about

their kids. Well that's what Ali was thinking. Ali was like a guy like one week after he has a kid can go on stage and be like, I've got a kid if it sucks and ship and all over the place. And then the guys not only do they not fail because of the guys in the audies were like, yeah, I have a kid too, it sucks. Got more relatable now and then they make even more money. Yeah bitch about the kid, but a lady who's got the kid, Yeah, like my kids are like a baby on them for

sext once, I pushed out a baby. You should be at home with the baby. That how is Ali doing it? Then she's killing it, I mean, I mean she was so she was bitching about it. She was right on a show push off the boat. And she also just got cast on a show. I think she did. She she is so she can't be writing and get and being on another show. You have to the least you can borrow your next five thousand dollars from That's absolutely I'm more ready. She's on the list, she danaide. This

is the conversation. Just a kid. I know we haven't talked bunch except in passing and maybe three shows. But I just was wondering, if you can let me five thousand dollars, you'll never see it again, and you'll never see I mean what I'm talking about the word n finance my dreams. I you can finance my f you

never mind my dreams financed the next month? If you could finance April for me and it will fully cover more honest to say to somebody you can finance half of April, I'd really appreciate me A great people who let who borrowed money saying can you just finance April for me? Who's interested? Out there in the podcast world of financing or September, we're not gonna be able to get it out of bed. Who they're gonna be upset

because it's hot out. Somebody needs to a kick start September for a horrible affected because it does get super hot here. It does. I think it's even worse than August. Sometimes it is August, just September and October's when they were like, really, I will fist you. We're birds of a feather Eddie. Because because I have so many people who say I love me, I know too, I love

the go fuck. They're the people who are like, I'm going out to Indian Wills to watch tennis, Like who you have a hot be you have a kid in a hobby? And give people who with kids I'm going to hobbies? Like wait a minute, fear isn't just your hobby? What else I don't understand? That's a great tweet. I'm getting back in the tweet. I was so offen tweitter for like the last six months, and now I'm like getting into it. You know what, I'm gonna tweet that right now. I haven't had a good one. Here is

a great hobby. All right, I'm gonna do that right now. I'm gonna do it before a free take is my holy decent tweets. You guys, I just think everybody out there's listen to season one of you except this Rose. Eddie. I will miss you on a weekly basis, but but I'll check in. How's that? I want to think Mark Rivers are are that song? That song he was doing like a Barry White? He's amazing. Are fantastic producer and our producer at Nerdice. The Magical Katie Living will be

back season two. Will you accept this Rose? With Joejoe's bachelortt. It will be the week of May fifteen, Padge. It's going to come in and we're going to look at Paget, that big star. She carries a gun, and she does she have children, no good, no good good for her. And she's not a twin, no hobbies, no hobbies, hobbies, just smoking cigarettes in a nice house. I see her and she's a nice nice smoking cigarettes. Wondering who is

not going to come to the party. But you know what, she may not have as much fear as we have because she's always a regular. But you know what, but she probably still has some fear. No, I think I think they can be all human and not be driven by fear. Yeah, especially here, especially here, by the way,

I just get fear now. I cannot believe the traffic in Hollywood, like just on a regular basis, like panic driving over here, panic driving over here, Holy sh it, Like if it's after two o'clock to get back to where I live is like literally like okay, here we go. No, I mean that's the voice. I have to go to Venice for my unpaid filming later. I have heard to Venice right now. That's a big favor. You know what. She filmed that special where I had the last of

the past or comment. So you're to the listeners out there, it has been truly truly the highlight of my week. For that I know, it's been the little Natier what's the low point is low and it's been my apex. My apex has been your nator and uh and uh. I really appreciate Nurice for allowing, indulging, indulging Blue Jasmine for having this podcast. My name is Arta marine On behalf of Aaron Eddie Peppitone and Aaron Fully who is now Occult member in Waco, Texas. We thank you for listening.

And one final time, baby girl, will you except this Rose just got one gonna push you where you're except this roll all your except this role into your word shoe, your except this rose into your world. Now leaving nice to dot com