COVID-19 is starting to divide our nation and its families. Imagine trying to co-parent with different opinions on COVID safety, money problems due to layoffs, or school plans when schools start up again. There seems to be no gray area when it comes to people's feelings on all of these subjects with respect to COVID and the quarantine. In this episode, we call on a dear friend Reice Morris, a life coach, ( www.riecemorris.com ) to help us understand how people are dealing with this. Assumption. ...
Jun 24, 2020•25 min•Season 2Ep. 15
COVID-19 and the corresponding quarantine has brought out some interesting stereotypes that we have seen over the last 3 months. This recognition of stereotypes has given Paige and Darren an internal look at stereotypes that they have had about divorce and blended families. In this episode, we expose the different stereotypes of divorced people, their blended families, and how to overcome those stereotypes. Stereotypes of Divorce Divorce is a contagious disease Divorcees are not capable of love....
Jun 17, 2020•30 min•Season 2Ep. 14
COVID-19 got you down. Quarantine is playing a number on our emotional and physical selves. In this episode listen to how Darren & Paige handle their "Cabin Fever". Will anger and anxiousness take over or are there some things they have found work to ease the stress of uncertainty. Angry and Anxiousness Will the school decide to please (Grading for Distance learning) School just did a pass/fail after our kids have been working hard to do distance learning Tough situation - Needs to be fair f...
May 13, 2020•30 min•Season 2Ep. 13
Nine years ago when we got married we had the perfect vision of blending our families. Of course, we wanted it to be like a nuclear family with white picket fences and a dog. What we ended up with was several different family groups and plenty of lessons learned. But we love our blended family and constantly nurture and feed it. Check out how we got there in this episode. Blending 4+6 (2+5) We wanted to create one big family not have 3 separate families 3 little ones are being raised together. H...
Apr 15, 2020•33 min•Season 2Ep. 12
We have noticed an uptick on blended families have issues in their families that just seem insurmountable. Stress from the COVID-19 pandemic uncertainty in health, job stability, and the economy is driving wedges in relationships between husband and wife and kids. In this episode learn how to identify the signs of stress, their causes and how to deal with stress in a productive way. Causes of Stress Fear and worry about your own health and the health of your loved ones Changes in sleep or eating...
Apr 10, 2020•30 min•Season 2Ep. 11
It is week 2 of the "Shelter in Place" order from the state of California. In this episode learn how Darren & Paige handle uncertainty. anxiety, and lots of food. We focus on staying connected with friends and family, finding comfort, and finding lemonade when there are lots of lemons. Staying connected What's with the T.P shortage? Who knew that T.P. would become such a commodity! And yeast! Now we are all bakers? Why? There is plenty of bread in the stores. How are everyone's relationships...
Apr 01, 2020•30 min•Season 2Ep. 10
In this episode find out how Darren & Paige handle the first week of having everyone home in a "Shelter in Place" order by the state of California due to the Covid-19 pandemic. Are we going to grow closer together or drive each other crazy? Adjusting to the New Normal Darren is home all of the time now. He used to travel 2 days a week. Paige got used to Darren being home all day for a couple weeks. Intel forced work from home. Kids' school is canceled and now at home all day long. Paige's sc...
Mar 25, 2020•32 min•Season 2Ep. 9
Money and kids can be hard in any family. When you throw two families together with different histories and expectations Money can be a tough issue to navigate. In this episode, Darren and Paige reveal some of the hard money issues they faced when they first got married and even pop up today. Everything is up for debate when it comes to money: College, Cars, Cell phones, Soda at restaurants who pays for what and when. Bringing money together Bringing traditions together By sodas at dinner Gettin...
Mar 11, 2020•26 min•Season 2Ep. 8
In this episode, we talk about the key things that you can do to destroy your marriage. We researched some articles and found some interesting things that we need to work on to have a stronger relationship. Check out these great ideas. Become Stagnant Forgetting to keep the romance alive Don't forget your spouse should be your friend too. Not finding ways to stay connected. Become boring Be In Love with your phone and TV Put others before your spouse Work, Money Friend, social life Kids Ignore P...
Feb 27, 2020•35 min•Season 2Ep. 7
Valentine's Day is always a stressful time for people. Expectations of the perfect romantic day never match the reality of the day. In this episode, we talk about our successes and failures of Valentine's Days past. It is a "funny look" at a difficult time of the year for many men and women throughout the world. History of Valentine's Day Based on St. Valentine Second card-sending holiday right behind Christmas Started as notes passed from person to person expressing real feelings The chocolate ...
Feb 12, 2020•28 min•Season 2Ep. 6
When we first got married we believed that love would conquer all. Blending families would be as simple as moving all of our stuff into a house and making it a home. Successfully blending families is hard work and takes some careful planning. we learned some invaluable lessons over the years. In this episode find out what worked and what completely failed in our attempt to bring two families together. What is it like being parents in a blended family Most couples fight over money, sex, inlaws, a...
Feb 06, 2020•35 min•Season 2Ep. 5
We had to go to marriage counseling to resolve a problem that has bubbled up over time. In this episode find out how we have used marriage counseling to strengthen our marriage and help us feel like we can tackle the problems thrown at us (with some help of course). Counseling in the Beginning We started counseling the day we got engaged. Our counselor taught us how to communicate and empathize with each other. We spent time getting in the trenches with each other. Learned to give each other the...
Feb 01, 2020•41 min•Season 2Ep. 4
After years of marriage, our date night consisted of finding a rom-com and falling asleep on the couch. We freshened things up with new date ideas including trying to find something open after 9pm in Folsom. We ended up going to a grocery store and making more healthy brownies. Check out our episode about how to spark excitement in your marriage. Getting back to dating after a divorce When you first start dating after a divorce you don't bring your dates around the kids. So you have to find plac...
Jan 22, 2020•30 min•Season 2Ep. 3
The Christmas clutter leads us to start an early spring cleaning and organizing. In this episode, we uncover our deepest darkest secret, we are "Organizational Posers". We hide our inability to stay organized by putting all of the stuff in a couple places in the house (Office, and Garage). We learned some tips on how to survive the dreaded post-Christmas de-clutter. Faking organization during Christmas We are organization posers. We look organized in most of our lived-in spaces but have many hid...
Jan 17, 2020•32 min•Season 2Ep. 2
We have been setting goals with our kids every year at the beginning of the year since we started blending families. We would spend a day after new years day and talk to the kids about the importance of setting and achieving goals. We would write our goals down and then put them in a box in the entertainment center. Then the next year at New Year's day we would dust off the box and look at the goals stored inside. These weren't goals, just forgotten wishes. Teaching about Goals Braking things do...
Jan 08, 2020•31 min•Season 2Ep. 1
Christmas is a wonderful time to reflect and give thanks. But it is often a time of stress, college kids returning home, and in-laws visiting. All of the normal pressures of "Christmas Expectations" is compounded when you add a blended family. Sharing time with your kids, duplicate presents, and who gets to take the kids to the latest "Star Wars" are just some of the things you have to worry about. Things that cause stress Kids coming home from college Work parties Family parties Meal planning F...
Dec 27, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 39
In this episode find out how gratitude helps fight depression and anxiety by re-wiring the brain. Find out how we have tried to teach our kids real gratitude, what works and what we did wrong. Why is Gratitude so important It rewires the brain Increases will power Keeps you calm Boost morale Count your blessings The more you practice gratitude, the more attuned you are to it and the more you can enjoy its psychological benefits. How to Cultivate Gratitude Teaching Kids Gratitude What we NOTICE i...
Dec 06, 2019•29 min•Season 1Ep. 38
Divorce can bring out the worst in people. Competition between ex(s) only magnifies the bad feelings and contention in the relationship. Many times kids can feel this tension and can even become the center of the competition, feeling like a pawn in a highly competitive chess match. In this episode, we talk about how to avoid competition with your Ex or your Ex's spouse. Competing for the Kids When you start sharing custody you will begin to feel distanced from your kids. Why Compete with your Ex...
Nov 20, 2019•36 min•Season 1Ep. 37
In this episode, we talk about setting and sticking to boundaries as a step-parent. Boundaries with step kids and ex-spouses. Talking negatively about your spouse's ex Never in front of the kids or around the kids. Kids hear everything. Be cautious Talking to your spouse about their ex. Be careful about negative conversations with anyone else. Disciplining your stepchildren What about kids being raised together. "NACHO kids" and "this is my house" Age of the children matter. Stick to your guns o...
Nov 13, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 36
In this episode, Darren and Paige spend some time together alone. No kids. This time in Greece. Follow their adventures to Athens, Santorini, and Peloponnese. Why spending time alone together is important Recharge our relationship. Put all of our worries behind and focus on each other. Fall in love again. Athens We arrived in the late afternoon and checked into the Grande Bretagne. Great hotel. We were tired and wanted to head to bed. But we could hear music in the park next to the hotel. The be...
Oct 30, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 35
In this episode learn why it is important to take time to frequently renew your relationship. In our recent time away we recorded this podcast about the last eight years of our marriage. Find out our highs and lows and what we learned from it all. What is different now compared to 8 years ago Our relationship with Darren's Ex has evolved. Time heals wounds. The roller coaster of your relationship with your ex dampens over the years. Not as extreme as it was in the beginning. Our relationship is ...
Oct 23, 2019•29 min•Season 1Ep. 34
Decorating for the Holidays is a great tradition that turns a house into a home. For Paige and Darren, this was critical to helping their kids feel somewhat normal after blending the families. Even though we love the way our home is decorated, Darren's aversion to a disaster of a garage and piles of boxes made this time a year a time of dread and anxiety. Find out how we made our way through this. History of Decorating the House We decorate for most holidays Paige needs to get it all done in 24 ...
Oct 09, 2019•30 min•Season 1Ep. 33
Many times we are searching for the perfect lemonade when we are dealt lemons. We know if we are positive enough and with enough sugar, we can find good in anything thrown our way. But sometimes we need to adjust our expectations to fit the current situation. In this episode, we talk about finding our own lemonade in these tough situations. Life can be hard Things don't always turn out the way you plan them. Story of us finding ourselves in our 40s single with kids. Over time we give up when our...
Oct 04, 2019•42 min•Season 1Ep. 32
Find out how Darren & Paige handle Middle Schoolers that are going through "The Change" from perfect little kids to tweenies and teenagers with raging hormones and attitudes as they try and learn to become adults. Throw a blended family and two sets of parents and problems become even more difficult to manage. Middle School aged kids Middle school is when Kids get their hormones, Puberty is just as hard on parents as it is on kids. Kids are trying to figure out who they are. Friendships Soci...
Sep 25, 2019•39 min•Season 1Ep. 31
This week Paige continues to teach Darren what she learned at "Education Week". This episode we tackle managing problems, not solving problem, managing them. Some problems, like putting socks in the hamper, take a long to solve, but all problems can be managed. Checking in Exacerbated by my kids, your kids. We are sensitive to this and what we actually do it. Complaints aren’t fun but we need to deal with them What complaints do we need to share? You need to decide what is important Only the cou...
Sep 20, 2019•35 min•Season 1Ep. 30
In this episode, Darren and Paige cover the importance of Girl's trips, the emotions of the husband left behind. History of Girls trips From 1993 to 2008 the number of "Girl's Trips" grew by 230%. From 2008 to 2019 it more than doubled again. 25% of adult women have taken a girl's trip in the last 3 years 40% of adult women plan to take a girl's trip in the next 3 years Paige's girl's trips. Purpose of Girls Trips A much needed break for me from my family Reconnecting with friends Rejuvenate Tea...
Sep 11, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 29
Paige went to "Education Week" and attended several marriage relationship classes. In this episode, Paige talks to Darren about what she learned on how we can avoid toxic behavior in our relationship and strengthen our marriage. Toxic Behavior Vision for your marriage. Good communication, and fun. Risk factors and danger signs. Conflict is not always bad. Certain patterns of conflict are bad. Danger signs Escalation - Back and forth, negatively driven by defensiveness. The topic does not matter ...
Sep 04, 2019•32 min•Season 1Ep. 28
The fall brings kids going back to school or even leaving home to go to College for the first time. In this episode, we talk about the perils of back to school in a blended family and the emotions of sending kids off to college for the first time. Kids back to School Boohoo, Woohoo Breakfast celebration. The emotions of the kids being gone When your youngest goes off to kindergarten or first grade. Who am I?, What do I like to do? For 15 years I have raised kids now what Getting the kids back on...
Aug 28, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 27
Time apart can be hard and taxing on a marriage. But there are many situations where it is inevitable. Time apart comes in many forms, work travel, traveling to see kids, a spouse in the military, it all takes a toll on your marriage and your relationship. In this episode, we talk about the dangers of being apart and some tips to overcome the side effects. Situations of being apart Spouse travels for work Spouse travels to see their kids or a long commute to get them or take them back to their e...
Aug 21, 2019•36 min•Season 1Ep. 26
Friends are yet another tricky subject in divorce. Who gets what friends after a divorce? Does your new spouse make friends with your friends? What happens if you are in the same social circles still? Are there people that want to be friends with both you and your ex? It gets complicated really fast. In this episode, we talk about the pitfalls and traps and how to avoid them. Who Gets the Friends in a Divorce Cannot specify which friends go to who, in the divorce papers. Moving to a new location...
Aug 14, 2019•26 min•Season 1Ep. 25
