When people get divorces there is a huge financial explosion. All of the assets you have built together are now going to be exploded and divided. Not just two ways, lawyers will get their cut as well. But your financial obligation does not stop there, it is just the beginning. The emotions around money in divorce, alimony, and child support are pretty raw. In this episode, we investigate those feelings and how to deal with them. Divorce is Costly Divorce is expensive. Especially if you have asse...
Aug 07, 2019•28 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Right after a divorce is hard for everyone. You and your kids will be going through all ranges of emotion. You have a tendency to act based on those emotions of fear, guilt, sadness, and anger. Many times, this leads to uncharacteristically doing things you would not normally do. Like, getting a dog even though you are allergic, or skydiving, or heading to Disneyland. In this episode, we explore those first few months after a divorce and how to try to not overindulge your kids. The Emotional par...
Aug 01, 2019•30 min•Season 1Ep. 23
One of the worst days in our lives was telling our kids we were getting divorced. Turns out it is also the worst day in the lives of our kids too. In this episode, we discuss how we navigated the tricky conversation that we had with our kids. Our approaches were very different but we found some common things that seemed to work, and some things that did not work so well. How to tell your kids your getting divorced Paige - Got no advice on how to talk to the kids. Spur of the moment. Decided that...
Jul 24, 2019•36 min•Season 1Ep. 22
Open communication is important to any relationship. Don't mistake open communication for transparency like we did. Transparency is about visibility, open communication is more about how, when and where you communicate. In this episode find out how Darren & Paige muddle through their journey to open communication in their marriage. In Marriage Be Timely (Don't put it off, but make sure it is an appropriate time), Pick the right time. Not when you are too angry. Read the room for the mood. Be...
Jul 17, 2019•36 min•Season 1Ep. 21
Triggers exist from previous marriages, childhood trauma and just living life. In this episode, we discuss how we have been able to navigate triggers, sometimes successfully sometimes not so much. Find out how to handle triggers, avoid them and recover from them. Triggers Pavlov's Dogs - Ring a bell and they salivate. A trigger is an intense, emotional reaction to a present behavior that reminds you of something painful from your past. Triggers can be words, facial expressions, smells, music, so...
Jul 12, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 20
In this episode learn how a trip to the Oregon Coast quickly turned into a business trip to Washington DC for Darren. Paige decided to join him so they could have some quality time alone together. Travel log and some nice back and forth about a missed romantic trip. Business Trips Plan time to be together. We with no kids turned into a week together. We had planned to spend 5 days in Oregon but Darren had a Business trip pop up and had to go to Washington DC. He took the opportunity to bring Pai...
Jul 03, 2019•32 min•Season 1Ep. 19
How do you discipline children in a blended family? How do you combine your two styles? How do you teach children across multiple households? There are many techniques and opinions on this subject. Now you get to hear our perspective on how we learned how to navigate this treacherous part of blending families. What is Discipline Quick Definition – Discipline = Rules + Consequences Discipline is different than punishment Punishment vs Consequences Realize Discipline will be different for the kids...
Jun 26, 2019•32 min•Season 1Ep. 18
Are you having a hard time figuring out custody schedules with your ex? Are you 50/50 and don't know if you should be a week on week off? Or are you looking at a 2-2-5-5? If you don't even know what these are you can hear the nightmare of scheduling when you have a blended family in this podcast. We discuss the pitfalls and successes we found in negotiating and working custody schedules. Managing Schedules Consistency is king in schedules for the kids. We just asked our teenage kids that have be...
Jun 19, 2019•37 min•Season 1Ep. 17
In this episode we discuss how hard it is to be a step-mom on Mother's Day, heck even Biological Mom's have a hard time with Mother's Day. Find out how we deal with this great day to remember the Moms in our lives. Feeling Let down on Mother's Day Happens to Both Mom's and Step Mom's Look at the roots of Mother's Day Started by Anna Jarvis in 1908 by having a special Sunday Service in remembrance to her Mother Officially in 1914 by President Wilson It was a time to go back to your home and go to...
Jun 12, 2019•30 min•Season 1Ep. 16
This was a rough week for Paige & Darren, as Paige's mom is checked into the ER and while there her dad suddenly passes away. Darren was 3000 miles away on a work trip and Darren learned how to rely on friends to help out in the hopeless situation. A thousand-mile roundtrip, a broken down car and an emotionally and physically exhausting week led to many lessons learned. Start of the Week Paige gets a call from her sister that her mom is in the hospital 2 hours later, news that her dad had a ...
Jun 05, 2019•33 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Christmas Card 2013 Treat each kid uniquely Lunches. Darren made everyone the same thing. Paige asked the kids what they liked. You need to find out what they like and don't like. Sometimes a mall food court is the best option to take the family out. Give kids the opportunity to choose dinner. Discipline is different for each kid. The rules are the same but our reaction and discipline are different for each kid. The goal is to help the individual kid and keep some peace and tranquility in the ho...
May 22, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 14
Your history has a profound effect on who you are. When you are in a second marriage that includes your relationship with your previous spouse. Sometimes learning about your spouse's previous relationships can be difficult, but we have found over the years that it has given us a better understanding of each other, where we have come from and what has shaped and molded each of us. Why your previous life is important The experiences that you have had made you who you are. Understanding your spouse...
May 15, 2019•30 min•Season 1Ep. 13
Every marriage includes different times when you have to compromise. In a blended family, there are even more opportunities to practice your compromising skills. In this episode, we explore different kinds of compromise and how best to work through the hard decisions you have to make. Blended Family Compromises Small things Whose pots and pans to keep Storage Bins Socks in the sock basket Soda at Dinner at a restaurant Where to live Work Schools to go to Church Sports Bedroom Why Compromise (Win...
May 08, 2019•33 min•Season 1Ep. 12
In this episode, we talked to our older kids, the kids that were out of the house or teenagers when we got married. We asked them some hard questions about blending families, bonding with a step parent and fitting into this new family. We had our eyes opened as our kids did not hold back in their answers. We learned some new things, laughed and cried. Why was it so hard for the kids Your older kids are typically not with you all of the time. Kids may not know the true motives of you marrying. Fo...
May 01, 2019•1 hr 7 min•Season 1Ep. 11
Family Heritage Roadtrips help give your kids a sense of belonging and roots. With a blended family, it can be tricky if you don't plan things out carefully. This episode is a travel episode of our Heritage road, find out what worked well for us and did not. Why a heritage road trip? It gives the kids a sense of roots and belonging How do you handle a heritage road trip when one family is from one part of the country and the other is from somewhere else? Finding a common heritage by going to Ame...
Apr 25, 2019•30 min•Season 1Ep. 10
Darren & Paige at a Pink Concert We thought the topic of depression and anxiety was important to cover because Paige suffers from clinical depression and Darren has suffered from situational depression in the past. In this episode, we talk about tools to help your spouse through their depression, how to identify the difference between the situational and clinical depression, and how to decrease the triggers that contribute to depression and anxiety. The Stigma of Depression and Anxiety Attit...
Apr 17, 2019•30 min•Season 1Ep. 9
Transparency in marriage is a hot topic in social media right now. The constant pull between personal privacy and sharing everything with your spouse has several couples at odds and is lighting up the blended family social groups. In this episode, we discuss how we tackle this hard issue. Start with a mutual understanding Both Paige and I had trust issues because of our previous relationships. Come up with an agreement that bans secrets from your marriage. Your spouse is the one person that you ...
Apr 10, 2019•31 min•Season 1Ep. 8
The Three Amigos - 2012 It can be really difficult blending families, imagine what is like to blend with 10 siblings. Blending includes not just your kids it includes your siblings and parents as well. In this episode, we look at the pitfalls and the success of joining a big family that already has a history with your spouse's former spouse. Joining the extended family Being accepted in the family can be difficult or easy depending on the family. Your spouse has a history with their siblings and...
Apr 03, 2019•27 min•Season 1Ep. 7
Engagement Picture Love does not conquer all For those of you that think everything has been rosy. It has not. This has brought up some tension and memories of the hard times. Sacramento Airport. We were naive enough that we thought love would be able to handle all of the problems we faced. That helped but was not enough. Everything was hard. Meshing kids. We had two 16-year-olds that were completely different from different kinds of friends. One very social and another not very social at all. Y...
Mar 27, 2019•29 min•Season 1Ep. 6
This episode is about surviving and maybe even enjoying, road trips with your family. They can really be a time of bonding (or total stress!) with some preparation. Food, audible, games and electronics can get you through it!! Road trips can build memories: We just got back from a quick trip to visit our new Grand-baby Zoey Anne. We left on Thursday night and came home on Sunday. So we were in the car for 23 hours an in Utah for 40 hours. Totally worth it! Long road trips are something uniquely ...
Mar 20, 2019•29 min•Season 1Ep. 5
How do you extend your blending family through the generations? Our parents showed us through their example of accepting and bringing our blended family directly into our family. We have learned as we are starting to add grandchildren that who they biologically belong to really does not matter. In this episode, we talk about how to make the blending extended beyond just our family. We have found that there is no step in Grandma and Grandpa, or Aunt and Uncle. Our two Grandbabies (Emma Jane and Z...
Mar 13, 2019•27 min•Season 1Ep. 4
Too many Christmas Presents Why Traditions are important They give us a foundation to build our lives on They give us a sense of roots and belonging We asked the kids what they thought The Younger kids had a different perspective than the older kids They can only remember the traditions that we currently have They have some that are doubled up Older kids remember Some of the traditions when we were still married to their parents. Some we have dropped Some of the traditions that we continue to do...
Mar 06, 2019•35 min•Season 1Ep. 3
Anton Valley Panama Why we go on trips? Your life does not start alone, you are dropped off in the middle of a bunch of stuff! There is no beginning with just the two of you. Important to disconnect from everyone and everything. Second Marriages don’t have a real honeymoon time. Things we have learned about spending time together alone. Understanding what helps the other person relax (Paige read a book, Darren Program) Finding out what we enjoy together Finding out what annoys the other Trip Hig...
Feb 27, 2019•29 min•Season 1Ep. 2
Brief history Both found ourselves divorced after over 20 years. We met online. Paige was the first girl to flirt with Darren online. It was hard to go on a date for the first time after 20 years. Did not want to introduce dates to kids until this was more serious. Lives are thrown together, no way to prepare. 6 (Darren’s) + 4 (Paige’s) = 10 Kids When we first got married we had 7 kids at home with 7 different schedules How Paige sacrificed her career to stay at home and keep things running. Aft...
Feb 20, 2019•27 min•Season 1Ep. 1
