If your child gets gifts they don't like from well-meaning family members, it can be difficult to navigate. The last thing we want to do is hurt our loved one's feelings, but we also need to teach our kids how best to handle this situation. Listener Gabbi wrote in to say: "Last year my 5-year-old daughter got a Christmas gift from my in-laws – a monogrammed chair for her room. They were excited about it and she was obviously not, and I had to smooth over hurt feelings later. Is there any way to ...
Dec 19, 2022•5 min
Natalie Mayslich is the President of Consumer for Care.com, where she is responsible for expanding, building and delivering the Company’s portfolio of Childcare and Senior Care products and services. Blessing Adesiyan is the Founder of Mother Honestly, a platform that provides financial technology and work-life infrastructure to employers and is reshaping the future of women and families at home and in the workplace. Natalie and Blessing are here to talk to us today about a new joint research st...
Dec 16, 2022•33 min
"Holiday Creep" is well on its way to being an entry in Merriam-Webster's dictionary. And with good reason. Amy and Margaret bemoan the fact the Christmas seems to start ever earlier, and weigh in on their strategies for managing the gift giving, decorating, and scheduling craziness at this time of year. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why Margaret is everyone's Christmas nightmare The 3 best rules for holiday gift giving When Christmas should REALLY start The solution to all the madness? Let the laws...
Dec 14, 2022•43 min•Ep. 290
Do you have multiple groups of relatives who plan on spending the holidays with you? If you've got parents, in-laws, and other relatives competing for your time and attention, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. A listener asks: "How do you tackle splitting time between family over the holidays with a newborn? Both sets of grandparents live in the same town, but how do we decide that it's time to leave one place and go to the next? It's already tough keeping up eating and napping sc...
Dec 12, 2022•8 min
Heather Chauvin is a leadership coach who helps ambitious, overwhelmed women break free from their fears to courageously and authentically live, work, and parent on their own terms. She’s the host of the podcast Emotionally Uncomfortable and the author of Dying To Be A Good Mother: How I Dropped the Guilt and Took Control of My Parenting and My Life. Heather explains: How a stage four cancer diagnosis changed her life's trajectory Her process of writing down desires rather than goals Why atomic ...
Dec 09, 2022•35 min
Whether it's fish, feet, or ramen, our listeners have got some very odd things that they just can't stand. We discuss the breadth and depth of their very weirdest fears, along with our own aversions to the darndest things. Margaret and Amy discuss: Margaret's fear of grass and jazz Amy's rusty yoga poses The scariest Muppets Links! Babies refusing to stand on grass montage Join our Facebook group Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, pl...
Dec 07, 2022•47 min•Ep. 289
If our kids seem standoffish at first when other adults try to engage them in conversation, parents may worry that such kids are missing essential social skills. This week a listener asks: "I'd love ideas on how to get your child to engage in normal back-and-forth conversation with adults. My four-year-old won’t respond to extended family or other adults when they try to talk her her. No “Hello," no “Thank you”, etc. If the adults engage in play with her, then she will be very chatty. But this m...
Dec 05, 2022•5 min
Ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs? Maslow proposed a pyramid as the pattern through which human needs and motivations generally move. We can't worry about what's at the upper levels of the pyramid until and unless the more basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid– food, warmth, safety– are met first. Leslie Forde, founder of Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs, has rethought that pyramid for the way we live our lives as mothers. There's a reason there's not enough bandwidth in our lives for fun and...
Dec 02, 2022•36 min
Do us a solid! Take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey. When parenting feels like all work and no play, we may resignedly think "Well, that's the way it's supposed to be." But if you feel like parenting is more draining than fulfilling, there are ways to bring more presence, joy, and fun into the mix. Amy and Margaret discuss: why having fun as a family usually means doing what kids think is fun, which is not the same as US having fun what psychologists say is required in order to...
Nov 30, 2022•38 min•Ep. 288
Does your kid ask you to make their breakfast or do their laundry despite the fact that they know how to do these things? Where's the line between lending them a hand and waiting on them hand and foot? Listener Lindsay asks: "Talk to me about how you field requests from your kids to “help them” with things they’re old enough to do themselves. Like my 12 year old’s constant requests to make her breakfast, or my 6 year old who will often ask me to go fetch things for her that she forgot elsewhere ...
Nov 28, 2022•8 min
Why does it feel like our career and our family are pulling us in different directions and making it hard to be fully present in both arenas? In her new book Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like too Much). Dr. Yael Schonbrun explains how we can move from a zero-sum mindset to a life in which our work life and our family life are enable to enrich each other. Yael Schonbrun is also the co-host of the "P...
Nov 25, 2022•35 min
Please take our listener survey at bit.ly/whatfreshhellsurvey! It helps us bring you sponsors you'll love– and it keeps this podcast going! When we look at our kids– and think of the responsibilities we had and risks we took at their ages– a lot of us think our kids are growing up more slowly. This is definitely not always a bad thing. But when our kid is playing Pokémon and their peers have moved on to Snapchat, should we be encouraging them to blossom? Or letting them stay young a little longe...
Nov 23, 2022•40 min•Ep. 287
When our kids get overwhelmed with homework and tests and schedule-making, it can be pretty clear they need our help. Sometimes they come right out and ask for assistance– only to then angrily insist every suggestion we make is the dumbest thing ever. How can we support our stressed kids without being trash cans for all their frustration and bad feelings? A member of our Facebook group says: My family moved last spring to a new school district with higher standards than our previous one. Our tee...
Nov 21, 2022•8 min
Self-declared late-bloomer Wendi Aarons is an award-winning humorist, writer, and author who's written for McSweeney’s, The New Yorker Daily Shouts, US Weekly, and BuzzFeed. Her new book, "I'm Wearing Tunics Now: On Growing Older, Better, and a Hell of a Lot Louder," is an exploration of self-acceptance, second acts, and unapologetically chasing the lives we deserve as women. In this episode we discuss: why we would– and wouldn't– go back to when we were younger the ability to reprioritize femal...
Nov 18, 2022•39 min
What did adulthood mean to you when you were growing up? Staying up late? Doing algebra every day? Stopping, dropping, and rolling at least once a week? We asked our listeners what they thought would come in handy or plague them daily when they grew up. Amy and Margaret discuss: "Oops! All Berries" Cap'n Crunch cereal Chunky statement pieces How to get the upper hand in "Jeopardy" Here's the original thread in our Facebook group where we asked this question Sign up for our newsletter! Special th...
Nov 16, 2022•49 min•Ep. 286
Have you caught your kid using some choice words in your presence, perhaps ones he picked up from older friends or even you yourself? Wondering how to rein in your little goodfella? A listener wrote in to say: "Our almost-eight-year-old has been hanging around some older kids, and has found it amusing to use various swear words both casually and in a derogatory context at home. We’ve had multiple talks about how, while we don’t care that he knows these words, we don’t want him using them in our ...
Nov 14, 2022•8 min
Why do so many mothers struggle with new parenthood if the maternal instinct is supposed to "kick in" and tell us all exactly what to do? In her new book Mother Brain: How Neuroscience Is Rewriting the Story of Parenthood, Chelsea Conaboy cracks the myth of the maternal instinct wide open. In this episode, Chelsea explains: How caring for a baby changes the brain of both biological and nonbiological parents, both gestational and non-gestational, and for far longer than we realize Why the traditi...
Nov 11, 2022•31 min
For moms who want to make a change, whether it's returning to an old career after a break, or forging a entirely new path, Amy and Margaret are here to tell you: it's possible, and it can be a time that feels like possibility instead of a series of closed doors. Amy and Margaret discuss: Their own (multiple) experiences with pivoting How the pandemic has affected working moms The challenges of reentering the workforce after being a stay-at-home parent for some time The first step to pivoting? Un...
Nov 09, 2022•46 min
Does your child crumple every time he makes a mistake? Particularly when it's in front of an audience? A listener named Katherine wrote in to say: My 8-year-old son is very aware of how he performs relative to others. When he is performing “worse” than others he is very hard on himself. He says “I’m the worst” and cries. This comes up most often in sports. He played baseball recently and when he struck out he often cried. (I think the public nature of striking out heightens his distress.) We try...
Nov 07, 2022•7 min
Hunter Clarke-Fields is the creator of the Mindful Parenting course, the host of the Mindful Mama Podcast, and the author of Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids. Hunter helps parents bring more calm and peace into their daily lives. Hunter has over twenty years of experience in meditation practices and has taught mindfulness to thousands worldwide. She is the mother to two daughters. In this interview Hunter explains: ...
Nov 04, 2022•40 min
If a three-year-old can't wait thirty seconds more for dinner, will she grow up to be an impatient adult? Is there anything we can do to teach our kids patience– and should we? Impatience is completely normal in kids (not to mention grownups), but there are ways to help our children develop this skill. It's worth the effort– not to make our kids more compliant and quiet in church, but because patience and overall happiness, as it turns out, are highly correlated. In this episode, Amy and Margare...
Nov 02, 2022•44 min•Ep. 284
Is the phrase "Well, you didn't say NOT to" a common refrain in your house? Some kids love to find ways around the rules and regulations parents or teachers set down. A listener wrote in to say: "How do you get your middle schooler to focus his incredible power of finding loopholes in all things from pointless ideas to more proactive agendas? He’s smart, witty, loves attention, and can argue with a brick wall. How do I help him channel that to good? Or how do I survive until he is mature enough ...
Oct 31, 2022•8 min
Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management books, including the just-out "Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters." She hosts the every-weekday-morning podcast "Before Breakfast" and also co-hosts "Best of Both Worlds" with Sarah Hart-Unger. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children. Laura explains: How to create a "resilient" schedule How to start small with prioritizing the more important things What keeps people fro...
Oct 28, 2022•37 min
What's your scariest mom-ster story? Do you leave half-empty cups everywhere like Margaret? Do you leave hairs on the shower wall like Amy? We asked our listeners when they were the mom-sters, and some of the answers sent chills down our spines! In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: "Driver's License" (wait, is it not cool anymore?) The secret to moms' bad moods Recycling rules (and how we don't respect them) Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pamp...
Oct 26, 2022•48 min
Does another kid have an unrequited crush on your kid? How does your kid shut it down without seeming cruel or unkind? A listener on FB asks: A girl has a big crush on my 8-year-old boy. She follows him around, always tries to sit next to him, and is constantly trying to talk to him. He isn't interested in her (or anyone); he just wants to hang out with his buddies. I told him he doesn't have to like her back, but he just can't be mean to her. Is there anything he can say to her that isn't mean ...
Oct 24, 2022•6 min
Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, is a clinical social worker, and mother. She’s the author of four non-fiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Workman, 2019), as well as You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent, and the forthcoming How to Stop Freaking Out, the (completely swear-free) middle-grade adaptation of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids. Carla explains: Sh*tty Parenting Syndrome (SPS) The "second arrow" of suffering The four pillars of ...
Oct 21, 2022•40 min
Which teacher is your kid's favorite person in school? How did a teacher give your kid extra support that they weren't required to give? How did a teacher advocate for your kid when they weren't able to do it for themselves? The examples are endless, yet teachers are under an immense amount of pressure to deliver flawless educational educational experiences for every single one of their students, as this listener explained in our Facebook group: "Please allow me to provide a peek behind the teac...
Oct 19, 2022•43 min
Thinking about planning a long-distance road trip for your family in an RV? Not sure where to start? Julie on Facebook asks: My kid wants to do an RV trip next summer. We live in Ohio and have no specific destinations in mind yet. But any resources to help us learn the ropes and pitfalls ahead of time would be greatly appreciated. When she went on a six-day RV trip with her family, Margaret learned some easy and some DEFINITELY not so easy lessons about road trips with kids. Hint: less is defini...
Oct 17, 2022•8 min
This week we're delighted to be talking to an expert whose work has shaped our understanding about effective and compassionate parenting more than anyone else we can think of. Dr. Stuart Shanker is a Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Philosophy and Psychology, the Founder & Visionary of The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd., and Self-Reg Global Inc. He is the author of several books, including Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage With Life. The S...
Oct 14, 2022•40 min
Happy 6th Anniversary to What Fresh Hell! In six years of doing this podcast, we've learned a lot, changed our minds, and watched our kids grow. This week we're talking about the most important things we've learned over the last six years, and what a privilege it is to be part of this incredible podcast community. Thanks for listening! Here are some things we talk about in this episode: Fresh Take: Helena Andrews-Dyer on Learning From Moms Not Like Us Fresh Take: Dr. Becky Goodman on Being "Good...
Oct 12, 2022•44 min•Ep. 281
