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Welcome and we talk back where we encourage you to hustle, hard, laugh, letter and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about go damn talk.
So we're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talks back.
What's up, y'all, it's your co hosts a j holiday. What's up?
Big Tam Bam, y'all is me Tam Vam. I love y'all so fucking much, man.
While y'all yelling at them, it's love y'ell, god, Jam, it's got a lot of hell.
I feel so fucking good right now, man, I feel good. How are you doing?
Tired, sleepy? It's Monday. I'm trying not to hate Mondays all over again in life. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. But I'm really really trying hate Monday, trying not to hate Mondays. Man. But other than that, I had a pretty good weekend. What you do nothing, breathe that. I went over to my one of my friend's house, the one who's having a baby, la Quandra. She's doing any day now child. So we went over there and helped her unpack all her baby stuff and
put stuff up, and I sanitize out her baby bottles. Bitch, I feel like I'm having a whole baby, Okay, I cannot wait for this dude to touch down Little Cameron. So we helped her do all her stuff this weekend, and shit, I was exhausted from that girl. She got about eight hours of work out of me.
Well she Saturday around her.
Yes, So the Aunties is four of us. Apparently someone sent out in the group chat last week, like, let me read it to y'all. It's so sweet. Okay, I'm like, how fuck do you like? She is so lucky right when people be feeling like shit is not like you. You always have like some good ass people, right. So one of our friends, Shiuanna sha Wanna, put out the auntie's chat and it's like a whole and I turned it into like an apple note so we can all revisit it. But like task for each one of us
to do, and what dates? So meal drop offs, you know when she first had the baby, meal drops off drop offs, lighthouse cleaning, grocery run, baby holding, snuggle time mom mom, not break, laundry, help, sibling playtime if any that would not apply to me, And I'm pretty sure she don't want dash over there, and then anything else we could think of. Isn't that so nice?
That is so thoughtful there is, and I think more women wish they had people who was like making a schedule for their baby.
Yeah, so we're gonna fill out this this calendar of events and make sure we help our friend out. Yeah, dude, at least the first month child, so she can get acclimated because we old mama's out here. Man, forty mamas. But you had going on this weekend, you know what.
I'm so locked in with this seventy five heart. Mm hm. All I did was work out. I mean on Easter Sunday, I did not get up and go to church, but I did get up and go to the lake and I worked, walked four miles around the lake, and I listened to church as I was experiencing the earth. I thought that was good, you know. So I did that
Sunday morning. And then after I finished listening to church and getting my work with my walk on, I came home and I laid out on the grass and smoked the joint because it was also four twenty, so I celebrated everything.
I know a post that said I don't know who's gonna be higher this Sunday, Me or Jesus. It was the most high. So you participated in all the things this past weekend.
So y'all lift me up in prayer because trying to travel. I haven't been traveling, you know this because class has been over for two weeks now, and and I'm about to travel again starting tomorrow. I gotta go to Philly, then back to New York, then Atlanta all in one week, and do to workouts today. So y'all keep me perried up because I don't know if I'm gonna be able
to make it, but I'm gonna try my best. I'm gonna so I thought about going to the airport early and walking on the you know, the little roller walkway, the little it'd be flat, but it's like a it's like an escalator, but it's flat. M h. I thought about getting on that and walking backwards on it. But how is that?
That's just getting you to the other side faster. It's not like a real workout.
Yeah, but I'm talking about walking the opposite the opposite direction on it for forty five minutes in the morning.
That is a treadmill. Yeah, that is a treadmill. You'll look stupid, but try it, Like what fuck?
I gotta get my forty five minuteses some kind of way. But yeah, that's it. I ain't do shit but work out and drink water, and bee is.
Always the thing that's on the forefront of your mind every fucking day.
I'm being bad.
I gotta lose weight, I gotta stop beating, I gotta, I gotta. It's just it just clouds my judgment about everything else in life, because I just feel like I gotta do that first.
Everything else all in line behind that exactly.
But like then, when you do the workout, you feel like accomplished for the whole day, like I gotta do nothing else today.
I've done all that God needed me to do today.
No, but for real, Once you like conquer the diet man, everything else in life gets easier.
I do feel like after this fifteen days, I do feel like I have like a new level of clarity going on. I feel very happy. I have so much joy right now. I think it's the endorphins that are flowing because all the exercising, So I can't complain. I won't complain. I'm in a good space.
Nicely, that's what matters the most. Shit fuck that the mental I mean the physical workout, that mental workout to kick your ass too. So if you're feeling good mentally, man, that's that's really what matters a man. How y'all feeling mentally y'all good, y'all, nigga's good outdea. Let us know right, we care absolutely, So let's get in a let's get in a stupid internet news y'all.
Let's go.
So Shannon Sharp, Uh, he's facing a fifty million dollar lawsuit over an alleged sexual assault accusation. Basically, but it says the Hall of Fame tight end. Shannon Sharp made headlines last week in connection with this pursuit of a nine figure podcast deal. This week, he's facing an eight figure lawsuit Sharp pursuit on Sunday by a woman proceeding
under the Jane Doe suit and him. The thirteen page civil complaint filed in Nevada State Court alleged that Sharp committed assault, sexual assault, battery, and sexual battery, and that he engaged in the intentional inflection of emotional distress. The planet claims that they embarked on a rocky, consensual relationship that lasted nearly two years. The complaint alleges that Sharp
recorded their sexual activities. Well, we know he court, this accidentally accidentally went live last year and all y'all won't forget that ship. And I'm not saying like he sexually assaulted anybody, but anyway, something without her knowledge. So basically, he's recorded some shit without her knowledge, and that he was sharing the videos with others without her permission or knowledge. The complaint contends that it was another woman, not the plane of with whom Sharp was having sex with. He
accidentally livestreamed the encounter on Instagram. Okay, so she's saying it wasn't her for the Instagram post, but this is something prior to that. Very interesting though.
See, I don't be one like when someone says they've been sexually assaulted, my instinct is to believe them. But however, comma, lately it does seem like a you know, a money grab oftentimes, you know, so it's just the same attorneys, Yeah, and it makes it difficult to trust that everybody is being just you know. So I think he doesn't strike me as the type that needs to or wants to take pussy, you know, don't strike me as that type. But you never know, you know, you never know, what
do I know? You know?
But it isn't consent on this show, and you know, this person is saying that she was in a two year relationship with him, and sometimes he consent within a relationship could look kind of weird, you know what I'm saying. People may not cons like me not wanting to have sex and in your boyfriend, like forcing you to kind of have sex like that can be considered a problem, you know what I'm saying. And I think it probably
happens to women in relationships. They just don't speak on it because this is my boyfriend, right thing, So it could be that she's reflecting and now she may feel like, you know, I was uncomfortable in that situation. Let's see, you know. But yeah, it's the same attorneys that's always on these lawsuits and after the me Too movement, And I know y'all probably can't stand CANi Owns, Okay, but
I do watch Candice Owns. But she's been doing a special on Harvey Weinstein as of lately and actually reading and looking into the lawsuit against him during that time, which because I think Harvey Weinstein, like his case kind of pretty much kicked off the me too movement. There's a lot of situations where I just don't think we should automatically believe women just because it's a woman saying that something happened to them. I think that's kind of dangerous.
You know, there was a time where I would have been like, what woman is gonna you know, be a naive to people's greed and shit like that, Like, what woman is lying about somebody? You know, believe believe her? That was my energy.
But this is the funniest thing about the Harvey Weinstein shit in this lawsuit. Some of it went like the main Jane well, they're not even Jane Doeese anymore. The main people who are basically like they're the ones that ultimately got him put behind bars. They actually a lot of people got they should got thrown out of court because they asked them to describe his penis and they couldn't. So back in the nineties, the nigga had his balls taken off because he had gang green. So if they
describing a penis with balls, they would be lying. So a lot of women.
I was about to do it, but I'm sorry do it. Oh my god.
It was short and it was shaped like a funnel.
The balls were very long.
And you would be lying if you were talking about Harvey Weinstein exactly, you don't have none exactly. So it was a lot of situations like this ship is you know what that made me bigger? It's like funny, but I love those I would make a joke out of everything.
Oh what movie was like say, I know you want these nuts? Were girl?
You know you want these nuts? You said a little bit more, girl, you know.
You want these nuts? What movie is that? Booty call? Booty Call?
That's what he wanted to eat, that koochie with this ran wrap and all that ship beauty call. Hold on, we don't have the booty called to them, Harvey Wise, stay all this shit. This is about Shannon Sharp. So Sharp gets out of this mess season and hopefully he hopefully his allegations just aren't true, you know what I'm saying. And he can he can, I don't. I just hope he just doesn't try to put a statement out to try to prove himself in the court of public opinion.
Just stay quiet, let your attorneys handle it. Maybe you pull a little jay Z put a load.
What if he did it, then he needs to pray no, absolutely, but we'll see.
I'm not ever interested in having someone guilty and then they got to prove himself innocent.
That's right.
Yeah, so everybody's uh and inside Jonathan. Yeah. And then you know the way they go after the civil lawsuits instead of calling the police when the thing actually happened and reported it, reporting it. That gives me. That gives me pause too. I'm side eying, like you want to do a civil lawsuit? Now twenty years later.
Right, I still feel like I should sue Applebee's. Every time I hear stories like this, is it.
Too late to say the company I should sue or couldn't sue for sexual erast because it was actually a woman at a bank and I used to work like customer service and she would come and put her titties on your back. And it wasn't until years later when her and another female got fired because they got caught having sex on the job. This lady was a lesbian the whole time and probably getting off.
My girl be putting her titties on my shoulder when she's doing my eyebrows. But I like it.
I did not like this white little pillows the Jennifer up.
This is nice. I'm tired you such a man, Uh, Kevin Gates versus Lebron, So I don't know if y'all caught this. Kevin Gates posted a response to to Lebron's James and Savannah following their previous post, seemingly reacting to his initial comments in which he stated he wouldn't trade places with the athlete because he doesn't like the way his wife, Savannah looks at him. And it was weird because why are you even commenting on that they.
Even come from.
Yeah, it was very left field for you to even give a fuck about Savannah how she's looking at Lebron and how you would you absolutely would want to trade places with le Bron James. Let's just be clear that Nigga is very rich and very successful and he can't have his way. But he loved his wife, so what and she love him? What's the shape?
Been together for a long time, So if I'm not out at you with starry eyes, it's probably because, Yeah, we got some years of bullshit between us. Nonetheless, I love you. You are the father of my children. I wo wasn't having no other way? And what Kevin Gates is such a messy devo.
Yeah, and then talks about like the way the white bitches look at him. But Lebron commented, he posted the pictures Savannah looking staring at him, and she's smiling and she looks so happy, and he said, we don't entertain peasants. Basically, we're too next period, Queen, We're too next queen. Gotta say nothing, Yeah, because what.
Kevin Gaz need to be checking on? Drika fine ass over that motherfucking farm.
She over there eating fresh fruit and don't give her weed.
And lingerie and looking fine. You're run here trotting around with Brittany Rayner. All of a sudden, she's a Muslim.
What's going on? What is that about?
I don't know. And I've been seeing like I hadn't really looked into it because I really just don't give a fuck.
I can't. Yeah, I can't pay it like energy. Kevin Gates.
I literally just googled last week to see what because I just knew he was an Aquarius. He's not, though, so I had to look up. I forgot what he what he was, but he's not an Aquarius, but he just gives Aquarius vibes for sure. Larious, I'm I'm wrong. The nigga isn't Aquarius. I literally, what the fuck did I look up? His birthday is February fifth, This nigga isn't Aquarius.
What does that mean? You say that, like, I don't know what that means? Now? What does that mean?
When I tell you I can see an Aquarius, all I need to do is hit him speak a little bit, and I know exactly who the fuck I'm dealing with. Aquarius men are very very very smart, highly intellectual people, and they fucking crazy at the same time, like really like mad scientists type crazy people, very manipulative. It's almost like a sickness. I can see my girl. Fu fuck Kevin Gates.
I know.
I talk about the women, y'all. I love Aquarius women, like my oldest sister's Aquarius, and she's one of the nicest people in the world. But the men are a different species of human. They may not even be human. Okay, it's something wrong with them. Niggas.
Who is who? That's your ex.
Yes, But I have like, anytime a woman is telling me about somebody, I'm like, is he an Aquarius? Any just based off the descriptive type of things that they might be going through with this person. It's all I swear to either it's a query, it's a scorpio. I can point them out.
Yeah, I love me a scorpio.
No scorpios gonna fuckh at you forever. That's why I like them niggas got They definitely gonna fuck the ship out of you. And they can make babies all day long too. But them niggas got some ship with them too. Man, they they You're gonna feel possessed fucking with a scorpio.
We get a fucking I. This ain't on the docket, but I got a third thist in there, y'all. I saw Sinners over the weekend. I saw it on Thursday, the first night, y'all. That Mightael b Jordan. I almost forgot about him for a little while because then Jonathan make me fine on film. He's so fine on film. I listen. I ain't never wanted to fuck brothers. It was him. It was him twice.
He was a twin, but we played twins in the movie.
He played twins in the movie.
Thing. Okay.
I can't wait to see that smoke and stack oh okay, And they can smoke and stack me anytime of the day. Okay, y'all go see Centers support black films.
Yeah, I can't wait to watch that movie. You're gonna really enjoy I already know without even seeing the film, but just seeing like the the preview and stuff like that.
Aminos and I like watching education on TV.
I like watching shit. I'm gonna learn something from all that confirms things. I already think. Those are the type of movies I like, You're really enjoy it, Yes, And I already think The Motherfuckers is real life vampires, Like we think they only exist in movies. No, they do not. I believe vampires really exist in real life. And then you got people who just be sucking people's energy.
Yeah, I'm gonna say that's what I believe is vampire. Yeah, those type of vampires.
But and maybe the movie was like a like a subliminal thing like that. Yeah, all right, so I'll see it. Okay. So Tracy Ellis Ross, So y'all know our previous prior first lady, Michelle Obama and her brother. They have a podcast called Emo. I am Oh, So, Tracy Ellis Ross did a recent episode of Emo. And you know, she's a fifty two year old woman, she's never been married,
she didn't have any children. This is Diana Ross's daughter, and you know, she gets they get into a little bit about you know, just being that age, being single, dating date, dating younger men, all the things. So this, I guess that is that on the docket for a stupid Internet news and our topic this week because I want to talk about that episode.
You got ways, let's get into it. Let's let's take our break and let's really deep dive into this because you know, I love me and Waiian.
This could be our life, right all right, So we're back, and yeah, we want to talk about I don't know if y'all watched it, let us know if you didn't, but Tracy Ellis was on in my opinion, and did.
You watch it, dam I did watch it. I thought it was interesting, what you know, Tracy Ellis Ross had to say about how men of her generation had a certain level of toxic masculinity that she just could not subscribe to, and that younger men were more open in their thoughts about gender fluidity and homosexuality and gender roles and you know, and what's going on in modern society, because.
I mean, we've talked about this that often I date younger men and a lot of it is.
Because that's stop on that, folks. Oh my god, we had a great dinner.
We had a great dinner.
By the ways, the table your husband goes. But why and I said, well, maybe because I.
Can what I'm saying tales from Tracy's.
Tale.
But but but one of the reasons though that because I had to ask myself that question.
I was like, what is this about?
Because I want a partner and so often and it's not just that I'm older.
I'm also very embodied.
I am a full, very whole person who knows myself, who is in charge of my life, and who lives a very full, just robust life. So it's not just age. It's like life experience and sort of a difference. But I had to ask myself the question, why why does this keep sort of coming up? Other than they're hot and gorgeous, There's that. There's that, But a lot of men my age are steeped in a toxic masculinity and have been in a culture where there is a particular way that a relationship looks.
For one part I heard her say saying that you know, she would be out with maybe a guy of her age, and the things that they would say about other groups of people, like she would be looking like, are you crazy? You can't say stuff like that. So she, you know, leans more towards the more modern approach to gender. Right with his fluidity, you know, you could be who you
want to be type man. You know, you get older generations of people, even we eighties eighties babies, we may not see that shit the same as somebody born in two thousands. Right, yeah, yay, you know it ain't no by type shit, you know what I'm saying. It just depends on the I do think that's generational though, right.
She maybe she's a little bit more liberal in that in that matter, so she leans to leans towards like the younger generation when it comes to I don't know what that has to do with a man that she's in a relationship with them.
Yeah, so I don't know why I don't typically date men older than me, And I always attributed it to me being childish, you know, but perhaps there's more to it than that, you know, like I enjoy.
What it is, she just don't. She just didn't say that though.
That she childish too, Yes, but our kids anymore, we're not childish, like I'm not child like. I'm not a child, so I don't think it's me being childish. Maybe a long time ago that would have made sense, but at this age it's just I don't know a lot, all right, so I don't have I think sometimes I don't have children. So younger men typically aren't parents, you know, So that's easier. If I want to get up and go to Africa Friday, I need somebody who can get up and go to
you know. So I'm attracted to someone who can move like I can. And then also I think it's nice to have someone that ain't done done at all. Damn, I can't do nothing new with you, because.
Now you sound like a man. That's why men like younger women, you know what I'm saying, Like they're easily malleable, right, manipulate, Like when I see an older person saying like they date younger, not you, right, and not even her, just just some like we may look at men like this, the men, and a man says he wants a younger woman,
we automatically think manipulation, man or woman. I'm thinking that we know that the younger person isn't already set in their ways, right, so you think that you could probably help mold a little bit. And that might be another thing that she didn't say, and another thing you're not saying right now. I just don't want to pack bag lunch and have to pick up dick and drop it off. That's why I don't like younger niggas.
I don't mind what you like. You like turkey on your sandwich, I hate I like.
I like men my age, that's all. You know what I'm saying.
I know my age or younger, but I typically don't like older men. You know what, I won't say. I don't even know. I haven't even given them a try to know. The last time I fuckus with someone older than me, I was in my early twenties, you know, so I don't know. I might enjoy an older man and just don't even know it because I haven't even tried it. But then I typically no. I'm about to lie, but I say I typically don't attract older men, But
that's not true. I just don't be entertaining them. Then, you know what, Then I also have an issue with my moral my mortality that I have to unpack with a therapist. But since y'all hear and y'all listening. I'm gonna pack with y'all older men. Makes me more aware of my mortality. There, I said it.
Really m h. I mean I understand that, right, But it's like I don't know. I already look at death totally different anyway. I don't worry about that part of life. It has to happen. That's nothing that scares me. Like, once you conquer death, everything else is the fucking breeze.
You don't aker death until you do it.
No, you can conquer death mentally, whether it happens today or tomorrow. I'm okay with that, Like I'm okay with getting the fuck up out of here, however it may. No, I just don't want to. I don't want to be alive and suffering. So you mean mortality meaning like just the process of getting older is what you're being reminded of, right. I don't have a problem with that either. My only problem with getting older is that I don't have a
million dollars yet, which is work in progress. That's my problem right now, the problem I'm working on it right now, right, that's my only problem about getting older. And then also I do want a child, right, those are my only two hang ups about getting older, honestly, but I wonder at Tracy Ellis Ross even you know, she's fifty two, so she's you know, a whole ten years plus at this point than us. But maybe those maybe maybe she has those same same hang ups.
So looking at her, it's just like watching her talk about because her you know, having you know, paying with the fact that she never got married and she never became a mother. And I mean, she's okay with her life and she's happy because she says to her life it's full and robust, but she does feel some angst about not having those things ever accomplished. That was scarier than sinners watching her and saying like what if that
becomes me? You know? M hm, So I that is fearful that what if I never have a family, what if I never get married, and not saying that I won't be this joyous, happy person And still I think I still will, but there will be some pain associated with never having that.
Experience, right, Yeah, So this is her, This is a little so. Ross discussed her inclination toward dating younger men, attributing attributing this preference to the openness and emotional availability. She often finds in them. She contrasted this with her experiences with men her age, whom she described as often entrenched in traditional gender roles. She did say gender roles okay,
and toxic masculinity. Ross emphasized that she is no longer interested in relationships where she feels controlled or treated as a possession, stating, I have long been past the age where I feel like it's my job to teach somebody or grow them up. But when you're dealing with a younger person, you're going to have to grow them up, right, you know what I'm saying. So is she willing to
deal with that from a younger person? More so because she just say, Man, these older niggas is on diabetes medicines, and I don't want no hospital's husband. Maybe that could be a point she ain't about to say in front of Michelle Obama, Right, But you.
Know what I don't I when it comes to health, I don't look at that because a young person can be sick. I've seen it, you know.
Yeah, these young dudes be on those all those from the gas station.
Yeah, and listen, you motherfucker's drinking red bull. Y'all better stop drinking that ship that ship is. I always associate chemicals to the same ship that the Ninja Turtles drink in the sewer.
And people mix it with liquid. That's even more crazy.
Now, yeah, stop putting that shit in your body. I like, I'm in this mental space where everything I'm looking at everything different every.
Aj You're acting like me.
Now you're wearing off home, You're rubbing off of me, bitch handles. I'd be like, oh, that feels toxic, Like the little.
Lot of the candles we burn is you're literally sitting and haling in bullshit and it's all that black smoke. You go to blow your nose and all the black smoke is coming out, like.
Rubbing some smelly, smelly lotion on my arm, and I was like, what's in this? You know? Just everything you know? I was like, what's in it? I don't want it exactly, Yeah, but and that's how I'm Yeah, men too, though, like what's in them? I don't hear?
I swear to golla, y'all listen to me. I had I did my my physical earlier this year. Y'all know. I'm in a whole relationship, right, but I just feel like I've ripped me out the package, bitch amack and brand new, like I just got the plastic, like once you got super duper clean bell of health. You don't want nobody fucking your ship up even now you're with That is how I feel like I need Like it's just I don't know, and I'm okay the fuck I'm in the plastic me too, right.
Now, my wholeness that deleted, ready to go.
I think I go to a different doctor for to delete that. Now I need to go to God, change everybody mind, and I remember you.
It ain't what you be. A call is what your answer to you?
Okay, moved to a new zip code, girl, fuck you shut up? All right? So now these are her reflections on marriage and motherhood. So addressing her personal life choices, Ross express occasional grief over not having married or had children, acknowledging these as milestone she once envisioned, her envisioned for herself. However, she affirmed her commitment with her life, highlighting her refusal to settle for a relationship that doesn't enhance her well being.
She stated, as much grief, as much as grief does surface for me around not having children, children and not having a partner I still wouldn't want the wrong partner. Now that's a big that's a big did a big one right there. Yeah, like people, a lot of people are in relationships just because because of commitments, the key things like kids just not being able to stand on you m so. And then we also know about men
that they get married when they're ready to. So whoever's in front of them, they're gonna marry, but they probably missed out on the one they actually really want. So now nine times out attend. If you probably married a man in the forties, you might be his second option, the one he actually wanted got the fuck away from his ass. So now you got to deal with that. But you'll never know, you would never know.
It's ugly. I hear, y'all.
It is.
No, no, you know it's beautiful out here, y'all. I changed my.
Mind mindset, right. You know, this is an important discussion because this could be us. Right, we could be fifty two with no children and not married. It could happen.
I rebuked that in the name of Jesus.
I'm just saying it could happen. I mean, if you don't want it. I feel like another part of this conversation I'm gonna get to in a minute. But is there really somebody for everybody? That might not be true?
No, because the number of people don't match unless we are meant to be gay.
So let's go ahead and let's go ahead and get.
To that right quick. Now that's another conversation. Well, guess yeah, let's stay away from that.
That still somebody, right, may it be if we want to do the non binary route, right, it's still a somebody.
I did enjoy them titties on the back of my shoulder when I was getting my eyebrows, so.
I actually looked into this. So statistically speaking, with billions of people in the world, odds are there are many people who could be compatible with you. So in a purely numerical sense, yes, it's likely there's at least one someone right. Spiritually speaking, some believe in soulmates or divine timing, that the universe or God has aligned you with a specific person. If you believe in destiny or purpose driven connection, then yes, there's someone designed just for you when you're
going to meet them. Mmmm, could be fifty three, who knows.
Uh.
Realistically speaking, not everyone finds or ends up with that someone life circumstances, timing, geography, personal choices. I think geography we kind of got to narrow down a little bit because you got social media right, so you should be able to whoever to fuck. You know, you see your person like damn, I like that. I like how he looked. Just if that's supposed to be the person for me, the initial attraction and then you hop in the DM
and then see what happens from there. But personal choices and trauma can effect whether you cross paths with them or recognize them when you do so, Like speaking to the men in their forties getting married, forties and fifties getting married for the first time, did you not recognize that woman you had before? I saw? I don't know what show this was, and I gotta find it because I want you all to see. It was just a
quick clip. I didn't watch the full episode. But the guy, one of these dudes, was actually at the the Saint Jude event last year in Memphis. But their guest said, you guys are two just three men. So the guest was also guy, and he said, you guys are too eligible bachelors. And he said, there are women watching this episode and they're gonna see y'all like, damned too? Why they not marry type things? So he was like, how
does a woman or what kind of woman? How would that woman have to be to get you to marry them. So the one guy was like, well, you know, there's a vetting process. He was like, okay, sure, So how long is the vetting process? And he said like two years? Like two years? And the guy the guest was like, so you mean to tell me you want to meet a woman and know she's the one, but still make her wait two years? You're not really eligible bachelors, y'all
are just y'all are just bachelors. Y'all not really eligible, y'all not really looking to be married. I know one of the guys is a divorceee who's on the podcast, but y'all, y'all all had playing with women two years?
Yeah that's too long.
Yeah, so y'all not really wanting to be married. Y'all are just wanting to play the field. Y'all want access to the one you want, and you want her to wait while you run through everybody else.
Child. But here's the thing, I feel like men are starting to feel like and y'all, guys, correct me if I'm wrong that marriage does not benefit them.
And that's bullshit because married men will tell you all day long how they benefit, probably their real wives from being married.
I believe, because they say men live longer when the women keep men alive.
So your single ass out here talking about what's your benefit from marriage, You're gonna die early or earlier. So this thing about is there somebody for everybody? So philosophically speaking, maybe it's less about there being one perfect someone or more about becoming the kind of person who attracts and builds deep, healthy connections that shifts the focus inward, which can be empowering. So is there someone for everyone? Probably,
but rather you find them. Right whether you find them might depend on timing, openness, and maybe a little faith. So I my take from that is that no, they may. There may just not be somebody for everybody, especially if you can't find that person. If you if you're if you're gonna die at seventy five, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's a possibility that if these are the things you're searching for, somebody like a a soulmate and all like, it might take a very long time. You may not.
And one thing Tracy Elis Ross did say that, I was like, oh, that's a good that was a low line. She said, chemistry is not is not a relationship, and love does not always include chemistry. So just because you have chemistry with somebody, just because you have chemistry with someone that does not equate to a relationship. That does not necessarily mean that's the person you're supposed to be
in a relationship with. And just because you love somebody, that doesn't mean you should automatically have all this chemistry, right, I agree. So that goes to like learning to love who you with.
So is it possible that makes you more chemistry with my than my main I'm joking, y'all, I'm joking. When it happens, it's because that's.
Where you're putting the energy at your mental energy over there, can't wait for the next time to get over there, like to where you're neglecting the thing that's right in front of you. So that's why being in love is always like a state of mind, like you got to constantly do things to keep falling in love with the
person you're with. Like Michelle Obama said, her and Barrock, you know they've been together thirty years, and she would say, like ten years, ten years out of those thirty we might not even like each other for a whole ten years, I don't fuck with you, and then somehow we find a way to find fall back in love with each other.
So if you are a single person with no kids, never been married, it's maybe you'd be dipping out of situations too quick because it's not looking exactly how you want it to look in that fucking moment, you know what I'm saying.
So that's why you know a lot of people are doing that. They people and I'm not gonna say people without including me can be very.
Still without including me. Yeah m hm, Because I think when you are by yourself for a good length of time, you you like things a certain way, and you know, instead of you're trying to find somebody that's gonna meet everything you want, right, and then that person is then also trying to find somebody that's going to meet everything they want. You forget that there's compromise and some things you got to tweak about yourself to make this thing work.
The person has to be worth it. So you mean to tell me that by fifty two years old, you haven't been able to find anybody that's worth the headache. You might just need to be by yourself because it's not gonna be easy with anybody. Like as much as we think love is supposed to be like this just every day Flowers and Lebron James twinkle with Savannah James and the Eyes every single day, it is just not
like that. It is so hard cohabitating. It is so hard just being with somebody else for the rest of your life, Like.
Dealer with not live with me since two thousand and six, team, and I don't know who I would be in a house with another man, you know with Yeah, I don't know who I would be.
Girl, it's tough, Like you probably haven't met him yet. It ain't nobody you've been with.
Like, we do have a problem with me walking, so I sometimes I would go to the refrigerator, ask naked. I will walk in my own kitchen, ask naked, get something.
I'm pretty sure there's no man that's gonna have a problem with you walk around naked, right.
But.
I also might not want to be touched.
Are you who the fuck you? What are you talking about me?
No?
You do that?
Yes, I do not like to be fondled all the time. So when you're living with a man and you walk around with ass and titties out, like men are always like these predators, right, So imagine like not having space to just want because I come from a naked family, Like everybody just be naked, bitch. If we can go outside like that, we wouldn't, you know, as soon as you hit the doors.
Just definitely very comfortable being.
So I like to be like that, especially in the home. And imagine like somebody who just thinks that's fun time to grab your titties when you're just trying to go get some fucking water.
I don't always what I just found, Like, can I go get my water ethnic and not have sex? So yeah, but we'll see. I mean that's not I mean, it ain't no problem. I gotta get the mand first, I guess.
So just to wrap this up, So in the episode on In My Opinion, Tracy Ellis, Ross also talked about like embracing independence, what we're talking which we're talking about right now, and personal growth. Ross spoke about embracing her independence and personal growth that has come from navigating life on her own terms. So single people doing their own thing. She shared that she has learned to live fully and
enjoy life without waiting for a partner. Reflecting on the courage and resilience she has developed, she remarked, sometimes I think of all the things I've done, the courage that I have had to have, and what I've learned, you know, what I've learned to do as a single person. So this is how she deals with now not having found that person, not having had kids, She fell in love
with herself. So once you completely fall in love with yourself, and now you're fifty two out here dating and you're dating younger men, what are and you be thirst trapping sometimes on the internet like a younger woman, What are you really looking for?
I don't feel like thirst trap have no age limits as long as you can keep them quenching, keep them quenching, baby girl.
Yeah, but you know, there's a difference between getting niggas and getting niggas. You can getting niggas all day long, but our nigga's keeping you.
Are you kids?
It goes both ways. Some people. I don't think women look and we don't look at ourselves. Sometimes we just always think it's an external problem. You see what I'm saying, we got to do some self evaluation, is what I'm saying. Sometimes you gotta do you gotta self evaluate, is it? Maybe maybe you are an impossible person. Why she hasn't
found somebody she like? I'm pretty sure she has had some extensive therapy, so I'm not gonna not gonna say, like, but maybe there is just not somebody for everybody, and maybe she's just to date and teach other people things until she get the fuck up off this planet.
Who knows?
Who knows? Because she's a beautiful woman, banging body at fifty two exact. Yeah, who wouldn't want to have her? We'll never know? Like, look at halle Berry. Halle Berry has had so many husbands. She in love again right now. And maybe maybe that's the thing, Like you don't have to settle even when you're in a relationship. Who's next? Who's next?
Throughout life?
Yeah, throughout life? Maybe we aren't supposed to just be staying with this one person ever, All.
Right, listen, I have enjoyed variety, like what's that got? Like? Not, y'all hold on, because.
That's not even just fucking just conversation with different people.
Yeah, I have enjoyed experiencing different people in different perspectives and different conversations and different senses of humor and things like that. So I you know, it might be difficult to just have this one nigga forever.
I don't know. Man, we talk about nonminogamy a lot at nauseum when we talked back, and is that more reasonable? Is it more reasonable? Doesn't make more sense? I think just people like knowing you can get burned and shit like that. That's really what keep people with one person, bitch. If people couldn't catch a STD, they'll be having three sims around here or baby, right, I tell my body when they get pregnant, if we could do some shit like that, then it'd be on and popping. I think.
I don't know. I don't know what y'all think. Y'all check out that episode. And I got a whole nother whole bunch of other thoughts on the first lady having the podcasts. Also, I don't know about that shit anyway. Why that shit is fucking weird to me? Like we have enough podcasts we have we talked back, right, our regular assets, having conversations about relationships and everything else. Like I need y'all to have the podcast from the First Lady, you got to have a little bit more depth as far.
As how many episodes have you seen?
I don't know. That was the only one.
Yeah, so you haven't even seen. That's why I can't. I don care form an opinion about it.
Yeah, I have just relationships being one topic with a fifty two year old bitch on there. Like, I don't know, I'm side eyeing all the old ass.
It's probably people saying the same shit about us, and.
They can have that opinion. The difference between me and other people is I don't like I have your opinion. It's fine, don't infringe your mind.
But I'm saying, like, hey, mirror, look in the mirror. The advice should talk about them apply to you.
I'm doing all the things too, But I ain't never been the first lady. I don't claim to be the first lady. Yeah, I just feel like that that's a different echelne of conversation needs to be being had. I don't know. Maybe it's just me, you know, I don't know, Maybe it's just me.
Anyway, Well, we all got to have relationships, right, first Lady and everybody in between.
Where her brother set up on there, y'all. That's what y'all like anyway, that's more competition. They need to get out the way. Why are y'all in this lane? Why are y'all in this lane?
Listen? We'll we all want to be love. We all want people talking, y'all. Now we talk bad? You sick of people Talking's crazy?
Why the fuck is the first lady in our lane? It's what I'm saying. Do you understand what I'm saying? Like, why are you in this lane? Go talk about something else and go do something different? And y'all doing movies?
Now?
Why are y'all in this lane?
She said she could do whatever.
Michelle all right, y'all. If you enjoy this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect iHeartRadio app Where the fuck you get your podcast at? This is your co host A j Holiday two point zero on instagrams Kick it big.
Team, y'all, It's official Tam Bam on Instagram. Y'all follow me. I love y'all so so very much. Remember speak now and never hold your why in because we're coming to get on us is