Three The Hard Way with Shon Cole

Talk Talk Talk to We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.

What's up, y'all?

Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of We Talk Back, a show dedicated to you niggas and these holes. I'm going back to the fucking it sounds better, dreamers and chases all that shit. It's your girl, a j holiday. What's up, tam, Hey, y'all, let's be tam bam.

I love y'all.

I do once again.

I'm reading this book called.

I reading this book called The Carpentary, and it was just talking about doing everything with love.

I was like, oh, this is already how I lived my life.

So I just feel like so much in alignment right now. I just want to share that with you guys.

How was your weekend?

It was all right, girl. I don't do much like literally in the house. I did work out four times this weekend. Okay, that's good. Like, first of all, these bags ain't that. But they're gonna be real slim period very soon.

Y'all.

Yes, we ain't we talked. We ain't we talking fat? No more right, We've.

Been real serious about our fitness.

So yeah, I didn't I went to spin class over the weekend.

I've been going spind crazy.

So I went on Saturday and it was their seven year anniversary and they had a raffle and I won. I won two free I want two free tickets to the Hornets game.

I don't know.

I got to pick it up when I go tonight to spend. No, that was cool.

Nah, man, you need you need a free a free year. No, that wasn't sh I know it spin is expensing.

That wasn't an option. And then yesterday was my mother's birthday. So I went to Columbia.

Oh Sarah, Big Sarah.

She turned thirty seven. She said, uh yeah.

So I made her a blueberry, a living blueberry dumk cake.

It was so good.

I only had a little sound, and she was like, I love dumb cake.

I was.

She was like, take some home, But I did not take any home. I'm so proud of myself. I just left it there for.

Them to eat.

Ben I'd have been warming ass shit up in the oven in the oven with some vanilla ice cream every day until it's gone.

So good I couldn't do it. It was too good. I knew it was gonna big big my back again.

I'm so fat when it comes to sweets, man, that swet of God, Like, I gotta keep eating it until it's all gone.

I love it, dude. That's why I didn't bring any back, because I knew what time it was.

It was just too good though.

Yep.

So let's get into our stupid internet news.

What happened, uh, Boozy asked, Booty ain't fucking with the waffle House no more, y'all. Boosy is mad because this nigga took a raw potato to waffle House and tried to force the cook to make him some breakfast potatoes. Now, anybody who can actually cook that shit is not like frozen hash brown right, all right, you damn it.

Got the ball of potato first and all that shit.

And because he tips one hundred dollars when he goes out the eat, he just thinks he could just pull up with groceries at any fucking nearest restaurant and get what he wants.

When I tell y'all, Bootsy be.

Tripping, he do be tripping, Like you just can't pull up with a bag of raw potatoes.

Talking about cookies, He's like, what do you what do you think?

You asked were they even raw potatoes like.

Nigga, if you took a Russell a Russell baked potato up there, who knows what he did?

That Nigga is nuts.

I'm talking about now he eating it hot.

For a little while because he's mad at him.

Boosy, get up, my damn nerds, y'all listen. I watched Boosy brother's interview. I forgot the show this past weekend, But that Nigga might be a villain. Boosy might be a villain dog because you know he's beefing with Young Blue right now too, And I think he's just salty about that man's career. As far as I'm concerned, he already down this week because your wife caught your ass cheating. And now I'm Boosy on your neck about some money

Do not comply.

Send me some free money, and don't send me the word. I'll be okay. Coco Golf won the US Open over the weekend.

I said em black girl magic because.

I'm so proud of her.

Did y'all see that video from twenty twelve where she was dancing in the stands of the US Open.

Yes, it was a little girl.

It was a full circle moment for her. That's so amazing.

And I cried a little bit when I watched that video. You know a lot of.

People said they cried. I did not cry for that, but I was very excited for her.

Yeah.

I cried, man, because you know, that's a big ass accomplishment. And imagine growing up in tennis in that way. You know, obviously her parents had her there at the games, right she's dancing, and now you actually win it.

It got a three million dollar check on top of all kind of endorsements that are about to come your way. Yeah, girl, I love them. Proud of you, man, Yes, I love it. Yes, But I don't know nothing about tennis. I ain't been to a US nothing.

I used to play tennis when I was younger. I liked it, man, I'm just all that fucking running.

Play in my apartment complex, you know, just because we had, you know, some balls in one of my first Assenis records. But it would never like, no proper training or anything like that. It's hot out there.

My oldest sister actually played tennis like tournaments and shit like that.

She would play.

Oh that's dope. She she quit it though.

Yeah we all fat, all us so almost got some fat ass fucking chur and bitch. Meanwhile, she was walking around here with a thirty two inch waist and her kids fat.

You're not fat.

I don't think you're fan not now.

I would never have been short, Ashley. When I was a little kid, I was definitely chunky. Always like if I was just no, I look back at pictures now.

I was a I wouldn't describe you as you know, actually fat Ashley.

I wouldn't be like that.

You know, no nobody would either.

Okay, when you look back at pictures and you thought you were fat, then it's like, damn, I wish I could get back there my own fat weight.

Yes, right, can I get my old fat weight back?

That's why I'm never gonna I'm gonna try my best to never beat up my body anymore because I know, I'm gonna look back at my body and wish I.

Had that body.

So I'm just actively trying to just appreciate.

Every moment in the now.

Yes, enjoy, everybody shy, everybody appreciated.

So Gunna had his first show since being released from jail at Barclay's over the weekend and it.

Was a sodawn show.

Was a packed house and people were saying that they were surprised at how packed the show was because of that snitch label that people were trying to put on him, allegedly that.

He's you know, he's a snitch.

I mean, we did see him in the courtroom saying yes ma'am to a lot of things that some people would say it's snitching.

What do you think get.

Rich took, he took a shut up, he took a plead deal. Okay, he didn't snitch on anybody. If anything, there's a lot of other people that we have seen in court okay involved with YSL that were for actual snitches. I don't think he should have been involved in that case in the first place at all. And sorry, Nigga, I'm trying to come home. Is what snitch stands That

You don't know what you would do? If I know exactly what I would do, snitch, snitch.

That's why I don't think.

That's why I don't participate in any criminal activity, because if it's your life or mine, it's gonna be mine.

I'm not gonna like. I don't live by that code. That's why I don't commit crimes.

So don't ask me this, especially if I wasn't actively doing some stuff. And the thing is, what black people need to realize is that we are not the main ones that boy. These people music, okay, they have white people who support their music. I'm pretty sure the Barclays was filled with a bunch of white kids, right, Nigga, he's still gonna be okay.

He don't just need the black that's.

Say, the people who probably really in the streets and really live by that code wasn't coming to your concert anyway, you.

Know, right?

Yeah, So I mean get the check man, listen. Ain't no, there's no rules in the streets no more. It's no loyalty in the streets no more. It's no integrity, nigga, do what's best for you and your family.

Because everybody is on that type of time.

It's a lot of people out here who know their homeboys snitch and they still hanging out with this nigga.

Now, it's a lot of that. Moving around to Charlotte. I ain't gonna say no names.

But.

Girl Love and Charleston, there's so many indictments day in and day out, and these niggas be right outside like, ain't nothing happened, And the same niggas be who was talking about them hanging with them today.

Because they all do it.

They all do it when they get into them rooms, small assrooms.

Having his arms in his shirt with a cigarette shirt. He about to tell.

That nigga asked for a cigarette, but you know it's a boy. He's about to telling the whole hood be very clear, telling him ask you know for me, like snitching? Is this right?

Like say, for instance, I commit a crime, I know I did it. You know I did it right? Like say, for instance, I do a murder in your car, you get arrested with my car and I'm not.

No, I get arrested in my car because you did a murder.

No, no, no, I let know.

I let you hold Yeah, yay, that's what I meant, right, Yes, you let me hold your car. I commit a murder in your car, you get stopped in your car, and now they're catching you, getting you for the murder. I feel like I'm a bitch ass nigga if I don't come up there and admit that I did it instead of letting my friends sit for some ship that I actually did. You are not a snitch. That's not saying yes, that's it's not. The streets will consider that snitching.

When you're down, when y'all committing crimes together and I get caught, but I tell on everybody else to lord lessen my sentence or to get out of jail.

That's what snitching is.

The streets considered any time you're cooperating with the police, they consider that snitching, no matteration that like, yes they.

Do a civilian and you just I can give you.

A perfect example. This is not even snitching for real. Remember future and what's his manager, the one who was managed America Monica. Mm hmm, y'all know who I'm talking about. Monica Baby Daddy. He he brought Future on the scene.

He Rocco. Future made a song about Rocco.

Future tweeted about Rocco's Rocko a snitch because this nigga wanted his money out of him after he blew after he blew up, we had a contract together. How is that snitching? Because I signed. People work in court, That's what I'm saying. The streets, they don't. They just don't want you cooperating with with with authorities or the courts with anything. They consider everything snitching.

If you cooperating for really, I don't know.

So if somebody kill your family member and you go to the court and tell to go to the police, that snitching the other family who who like the family of the person that did it, They're gonna say you snitching on them.

No, I don't think people, yes, y'all.

Let us know, y'all, let us and then cooperate with the police, not regular civilians.

There's levels to this ship, and I feel like people black people specifically consider every goddamn thing. It'd be a lot of situations that's not even I'm not saying that's what it is, Tammy. I am saying this is what people really think in the streets.

That's what I'm saying. I don't know, that's what I'm saying.

I don't believe. Absolutely not, Yeah, absolutely not.

But the example I gave, like you driving my car, it's like I mean me driving your car, I'm saying somebody would be. I'm only considering it snitching if you're telling on some shit that don't have nothing to do with your case.

Do you see what I'm saying? That snitching to me?

If you're just telling the police, telling the police some shit to get a lesser charge. You just telling on random niggas in the hood. They putting whoever picture in front of you, and you say, yeah, that nigga does such and such and such.

That is snitching to me. Anything else is not snitching.

Yeah, to me.

If you if you're committing a crime and you get caught, you got caught, You got caught, Leave everybody else out of it.

That's how I feel like.

Right, But if you just a civilian and you and you in some bullshit, you have every right to defend yourself.

Absolutely. Yeah, we don't be doing crime.

I don't do shit.

All.

I might speed a little bit every now and then, But that's the gist of it.

Girl, I gotta take you earlier this year. Man, and I hide a lawyer. One thing I can like, why do I get punished thirty times because your insurance go up and everything else? I think it's not fair. It's not fucking fair. No, So, Tyreese is on the Breakfast Club. I know y'all seen that shit. Ty RaSE is on the Breakfast Club. He was talking about his grievances. They all were, right, Charlamagne dj Envy. They were talking about

That's what I'm seeing.

But he leaves the Breakfast Club. They all apologize each other. He apologized to them, they apologize to him. You know, we thought the interview. I thought the interview was pretty amicable.

So whatever feelings you have about me and what I should be or shouldn't be doing pertaining to my approach with how I'm unraveling and bleeding out loud in the middle of my thing, that would have actually been the reason to call no.

And I did have conversations with you, and this is from before your ex wife, when you were talking to the girl overseas and who you were as a man, I didn't respect that. I stuck took a step back because I didn't know what you were going through and I tried to talk to you, and I've seen who you were and not even like who you were online, and to my point, I tried, and when I seen how you were talking this way, I said, I'm going to take a step back.

How convenient I stepped back?

What you mean?

I never stepped back.

From you, It's right, but I never talked to your wife in a disrespectful manner, and you talked to mine and a disrespectful manner. And I never told nobody that even when you were on and you could say you were on those site mads and you could say that you warrant you, but as a man, some of the things that you said, Tyrese deserved me to box your mouth and.

Know we were talking because this is something that I never wanted to say.

And since he wants to be well, why envy, I'm telling him why you said disrespectful ship to my wife.

A couple of days later, this nigga is crying on the internet once again.

Okay, he's obviously trying to get another viral meme gradul after this interview.

Yes, like he was the victim, like they really did something to him at the breakfast club.

Yes, the other day, do you hear me?

I missed a point where I had to hit Charlamagne up, like, yo, is he?

Well? Is this real? Like I was waiting for him.

I was waiting for him to say, got y'all just practice him acting. I was waiting for that, but it never happened. He was dead ass serious. He was thankful to Jess hilarious. You know she's been co hosting a lot up there. He was very like thankful to her for like help standing up for him in his van vulnerable moments and not making fun of him because they felt like Charlamagne and dj Envy was making fun of him what they do, but they were and he was making fun too. Yeah, it was That's why like some

You can't. You don't know what to say around them. You don't know what she could do.

Like, I don't know how to act around you, so I'd rather not be around you.

You know what I'm saying.

Because you were actively participating in all the bullshit and then you leave and cry on the internet in front of the world.

That is so shady. Yeah, that's a dangerous person. I had a friend like that before.

Like, just because my jokes hit harder, bitch, that don't mean you didn't joke on me first, right, just because I come back with.

A one two one two. Now now you're crying. I know.

I had one of my homegirls. She had got a hair transplant.

She had like this thing around her head, and she had made some jokes about uh, I can't remember what. I think it's because my edges was a little thing on something right there. I was like, bitch, you look like Frankistein because she had that shit tied around And when I tell you she was big bad, I'm like, how you gonna be mad?

Yeah?

Why you mad? Man?

Like I'm just joking.

You ain't Frankenstein.

You just look like, oh cry baby.

Sense of the math I can't stand a sense of the maths person, if you'll get But anyway, y'all listen today's guest. She's an author. She has a new book coming out, or actually it's already released. It's called How I Married a Big Amist. Y'all stay tuned. Position is yes, it is. Hey, y'all, listen, we want to welcome today's guest. She's a new author, just publishing her first book titled How I'm Married a Big a misst Okay, this book,

And the beautiful Sean call we talked back today. Hey girl, Hey, what's up?

Welcome to the show girl. We appreciate him. Yes, you for inviting me, Thank you.

So we gotta just talk about it today.

Yeah, the title kinda tells you about basically the end part because the bigg miss is my third husband, quote unquote husband. So I've been married twice before.

Him, my first husband. I found out.

He was on the down low. He preferred the company of men.

I was young.

I was in my twenties when I married him, about twenty five.

Twenty six.

I feel stressed out, which we're gonna stop writing. I'm stressed.

I'm thinking, like, damn, she got three We can't get one. But okay, now I.

See you need one quality exactly quality, not quantity.

So hold on.

He was a d L brother.

How did you find out?

Look? But okay, so I'll tell y'all.

I moved into his house, me and my two kids at the time, and after a while, things just tension, arguing, not getting along, and he left one day and never came back. And I moved into his house, but he stopped paying the mortgage, so it was like he got out before they put us out. And one morning I was like, you know how, You're like, there has to be an answer in this house somewhere. So I went looking through stuff and he had this file cabinet that I never went in, and I started going in that,

I don't know my mama was paying it at that time.

So I don't know right down to you.

Well, back then, your cell phone bill.

Came in the mail and it detailed all the calls you made, the times you made them. So I'm looking through the cell phone bill and there's nothing there at the time.

So I, you know, I.

Go on about the next couple of days doing what I have to do because I was actually pregnant with his child at the time.

So I had to take care of that situation.

But then I still had this known feeling that I was missing something, that something was here.

So I went back to that foul cabin.

And I don't know if y'all believe in messages or divine into or things like that. So this particular day, there was a page of the cell phone bill on the floor and I was like, this was not here before. I did not see this before. And when I looked at it, there were some numbers on there. And you know how now it's worse because everything's in your phone. So you just tell Sieri or whoever to call whoever, or you just dial it. Like we don't memorize numbers

I know this phone number.

And it was like one o'clock in the morning, and I'm like, why would he be calling this number this time? So I called the number and the person that I thought would answer answered and it was my very very good friend. So I don't know if y'all know anyone from Baltimore. Baltimore was small, especially depending on the circle you intertwined with. And when he answered, I said, I said his name and he was like yeah, and I said, do you know it's such and such.

I couldn't.

I didn't know if he knew his name or you know, what the situation was. And he was like, no, who's that And I was like my husband and I said, He's like no, I don't think I know him. And I said, your phone numbers on his cell phone bill at like one o'clock in the morning. And my good friend said to me, if he's calling me at that time, it could only be for one thing. And I was like oh, and he said do you have a picture of him? And I said yeah, and he's like, I'll come over and look at us.

Said okay.

He didn't come that day, and time went on, and one day he called me because apparently the gossip in this hair salon was me and this man.

So he called me.

He's like, you know, I'm sorry I didn't get over there, but I'm coming today. Did you find a picture of him? And I was like yeah, he came over. He looked at the picture and he was like, yeah, I've been with him. And I was like, been with him, been with him, and he's like yeah. And it was like a thing where you know, again, back in the day, when you're driving, when you come to a light, you like look.

Around, you, your mouth, with your surroundings.

Now we're on we're gonna TikTok Instagram, we're on social media. We're all on our phones when we come to a software light.

But back then, you know, you might glance at the car next to you.

They glanced back, and y'all had that little virtual that little eye.

Contact, and that's what happened with them.

And he followed him to his house and they were they had sex, and this was before he met me. But here's an interesting thing. So after that friend left, I call another friend because you know, the community's small, and I said, such and such knows him. Do you know him? And I feel like a little silence. He was like yeah, and I said, well, how do you know him? And he said we used to date, talk whatever. And I was like, okay, But this is the interesting thing about this friend.

He actually met him, introduced them. He worked in the mall. We went to the mall one day, my husband and I and I said, come on in a store with me. I want you to meet such and such and he was like, no, I don't want to go in there, and I'm like, why.

Not, you know, like, this is a really good friend of mine. I want you to meet him. So at the time I thought he was homophobica because he was like, I don't want to.

Go in there. I'm not going in there. You go, I'm not going in there.

Okay, back, So I said to myself, if I stay in this store long enough, he's gonna have to come in here to get me. Sure enough, I went in there, I'm talking and he comes in the store and I introduced them, like, hey, this is and this is and they were like, what's up.

No indication they knew each other, none whatsoever.

So when I called him, I was like, did you know him? He was like yeah, and you knew him before I introduced y'all. And he's like yeah.

And I said, you never told me that you were intimate.

With the man was about to marry you. You just let me marry us. They are who they are, and you know, and I don't know if you know who Elin Harris is because he wrote about this.

I read that. I read his books. They would say, like the little I did waking in the eye.

That makes me think of that episode.

Of Martin where they was like, and who is your husband? And then was trying to join their group, and she was like, George, like everybody knew who your man was, but you that like, so these people knew except the friend that came over because he never.

Met him before. But I'm like, you know, what kind of friend.

Are you to let me marry him? Knowing that he lived this life I knew nothing about.

Yeah, double licks. He was like, well, he called me, he asked me.

He told me, you know, not to tell you, he tried to say when we started talking again, because of course the friendship ended for me at that point. But when we did recon years later, he said that he would. He felt like he was afraid of him. He didn't know who he knew, and he kind of threatened him and all this and all that, and he said he told him that, you know, he changed. He really loved me. He wasn't in that lifestyle anymore. All that good stuff he was delivered.

See do y'all think men can be actually delivered, right, Like would you and like would you intentionally date somebody knowing and they have been with a man before?

Because I would not. I wouldn't.

No, no, yeah, and even because I think they think the concern is that, oh, you're gonna cheat on me with a man, but no, I just don't want a man who even thinks about physical attraction.

Yeah. And my thing with that is, I how can.

You suppress your your attraction if you are attracted to and see, this is.

The thing about that that life as well a lot of men.

Because I used to go to you know, hang out with my gay friends and go to the club and I would see guys in there and I'd be like you like, you know.

Like the thug hard dudes, and I'm like okay.

And they used to say, or they would feel like if they were the.

Tops and not the bottoms, that they weren't gay. They didn't consider themselves gay because they weren't being penetrated. They were doing the penetration.

So for me, I'm like, it's now, if you you got a woman that's ento aintal, that may satisfy you. But if you have a physical attraction to a man like if you are attracted to their body and just down, Yeah, then I know that's not a lifestyle I want to partake.

And I know a lot of people, you know, they talk about it in movies.

Candy and Todd just have something about not that lifestyle, but just a different lifestyle. And I'm I'm no, that's not me. And if I knew beforehand, I wouldn't have married him.

I heard Baltimore was like Atlanta in that way, right, and it's like a thing in Baltimore.

This is what I heard, I think from a credible source.

That was locked up with a lot of them that said that it's like a thing in Baltimore to have a bad bitch and a bad nigga.

I think, well, you know, Baltimore.

So close to d C, so d C.

Is like, that's to me, baby Atlanta when it comes to that. But I think Baltimore so close to d C that you may, you know, the Baltimore dudes may trickle off into d C and do their business and they want to come back home into Baltimore.

So I wouldn't be surprised, interesting, I wouldn't be like.

That.

You yes, taking care of everybody.

The o Mars.

Now, y'all didn't watch p Valley did? Yeah, we did, yeah, because we didn't know about all that until after.

I got out of jail, and I was like, you know that episode. I think everybody was like, wait, hold up, run.

This bad listen.

I stopped watching when uh he spit on his hand like he had to still come out like when he was looping old boy up in the office.

I was like, yeah, I'm good, you know.

That.

I was like, so you will watch it, you would watch it, but you went like, I don't.

Yeah, I don't.

I don't watch Like I don't have no problem watching and it is erotic for me a little bit, but it's not something I will watch my minute.

I even like to.

I would even like to put ship like that on with a guy when I'm getting to know him and just see a little bit and then touches dick to see.

If this hard, Because it's hard. That's a problem.

That's entrapman, bitch, that's a trapman. How you did that?

You need to tell you.

No, because if your dick is getting hard watching too many like you need to unpack that, but not over here somewhere else.

Yeah, Okay, So you move on, you leave him.

Marriage to marriage to now marriage to that was a different journey. So with again, I had two kids, got married, he had none. He wanted at least one. I thought it was my wife, we duty to give him a child. We tried for about two years and nothing happened. Went to the doctor low and behold, he can't really produce

You have to take all these tests. It's expensive. So we were so blessed that he worked for.

The state of Maryland and our insurance covered at one hundred percent, like we would have, you know, the regular cope here and there, but they covered the first three rounds of IUI, the antuterin assemination, and then three rounds of IVF. So I did two rounds of IUI, and when that didn't work out, was like, okay, let's move

I was nauseous. I couldn't keep anything down.

Ultimately I ended up in a hospital for seven days because it was that bad.

I don't understand why you would have to go through fertility treatment right with the issue. Wouldn't they be able to because I know so what I not that that naas not anyways, wouldn't they be able to retrieve some sperm from them to inserting you like, just do straight to IVF right.

So that so that is what they do with both of them.

So with Iuy, they take his sperm and they take the good ones and they inciminate you and then you're like, okay, let's see how that works. And that didn't work because I guess there weren't as many good sperm as there were.

No I don't want to say bad sperm.

But non good sperm, bad firm so with the IVF, they kind of do the same thing. They take the best of the best and they inciminate each egg and then from there they watch it and they see which ones develop the best, and then those they put back into you. So for us, they put two in, and the first time, because it was a frozen cycle, so I got so sick, they couldn't put them back in right away, so they froze them. And then when I

Hm.

The thawing out process of the egg could kill the egg, Yeah, kill them.

Yes, I guess if they're not as strong, they wouldn't survive anyway, but it could be. It's better to do a fresh cycle where they're not frozen, because your body may take those better. And that's what happened the second time when we decided to do it again, it was a fresh cycle. I didn't overstimulate as bad, so they were able to continue and just do the retrieval put

Nah, he'd be sleep and.

I would have to wake like listen, you're either gonna get the pamp or you're gonna get the bottle, which one is it? And he'll like like he'd the baby be crying, he would be snoring. He wouldn't hear nothing. And after a while, I was like, you know, I gave you a child that you wanted and I'm doing everything by myself.

I was like, oh, is that his first child? Yes, so he didn't. So I think that because one of my friends.

Here you go, you're gonna say he knew he had.

Here you go go, No, No, I'm just saying, like I think some men assume like that's just the mom's job, Like, no, you gotta help.

You have to help with that.

Right, Yeah.

Well even when you tell them like you need to help, like you know, this is our child together, and the help still doesn't come, it's like.

And then there were.

Other issues too, like communication and I don't know if how much off all things that go on up here, but a few years ago and he's a correctional officer, and a few years ago there was this whole jail mafia thing and he was co mingling with one of the officers.

So he said he wasn't, but I think he was.

And I'm like, I better not find out that you intertwine in this little in house jail crew that's you know, about to be investigated. And it just seemed like it was downhill from from their communication was off.

He's the type of person that, although y'all are married, he has his business, his personal business that he doesn't want to share with you. I'm like, I can't be.

Married to somebody that has, you know, their little secrets in their own life. And here I gave you a child and you're still acting like we're roommates and all that.

So now we're three is in because you I guess I'm assuming ultimately you didn't have the baby for the first Okay, So now we're three kids and two husbands in three Yes, we got the worst type of nas okay. Second one, he just was an adult. He wasn't an adult. He didn't know he didn't know what marriage was exactly what it sounds like to me.

All right, the youngest child, he was home the longest, you know, first child, and was forty Yeah, yeah.

That's yeah, and to take care of him chat yes, Like.

I remember one time he came home from working. He was like, you didn't cook and I was like, it's leftovers in there.

He was like, I don't eat leftover. So I was like, oh, okay. So I was talking to his mother.

She was like, well, he used.

To eat leftovers over here.

I said, why, I guess he think over he was supposed to cook a hot meal for him every day.

Well, there are some cereal in there as well.

No, and when you take two slices of blow up between the real quick that's my daddy used to tell us. If you think you're gonna be hungry, eat sandwiches and water and go to sleep.

Nigga what.

That's why I feeled about these bitches online talking about they getting up three o'clock and my man wanted me up two o'clock in the morning. Listen, you might wake me up for some quick sex from the side, but you better not wake me up the cook. No goddamn scramble eggs, nigga unless they both drunk coming in from the club together.

Now, if I didn't work, okay, now it depends.

Yeah, if I didn't have to work to work and he didn't, you know, check all I spent and I didn't have to say, listen, I want these new shoes.

And if it was not the marriage I wanted, I wouldn't mind. But if I'm.

Working, take cooking, clean and doing everything, and you think you're supposed to go to.

Work, I take out the trash as well.

Like you just go to work and come home, go to work and come home.

That doesn't work for me.

Yeah, yeah, get to work for you, the kids, the house, but you just to go. You go to work and work for the white man and come home and come home and.

You go right to the kitchen and you're like, where's my where's my dinner?

You could have brought the dinner home where you was on your way home.

Sorry, I agree.

Now, let's not get twisted, because I don't want.

The people listening and be like, oh no one did she had the many husband's knowledge I cook. I'm just not cooking every day. I'm not doing it all by myself.

Right, he could cook some days or take how to cook?

Yeah, right, like outsos you.

Have your night off tonight, honey, I'll bring dinner home or order what you want whatever.

Door he ain't even gotta go get it.

Yeah, they ain't have door dash. I'll be forty nine. I'll be forty.

Nine doing that. We was riding Dick and Jane and cooking by the candlelight.

Where that damn old Now where that?

Yeah, that's not He came bump at the water from the wells.

They still do that today, depending on where they live at.

Now you're right, I wear it's a well water because we don't know what the hell is in the current water, you know.

Drawing out your damn hand whatnot. So yeah, then then I saw at that time, I was like, you know what, I'm a single mama, three kids. I want something different, I want something something better.

So then I moved to Charlotte.

Oh ship, I went from the frying pan into the fire. Yes, So I got to Charlotte and I got saddled.

I started dating and I met.

One person.

I am married.

You now So at the time, Madam, we go through our thing. We date, we lived together, we go through some infers, some infidelity issues, and I'm like, you know what, I'm.

Sick of your ass. I'm out of here, packed up.

Moved back to Baltimore, had a good time for two and a half years, dating and being single again, and you know, getting back into the group of my people and being around my friends.

And my family again.

And then he comes back and he's like, I've missed you so much. I realized what I had when I lost you. I just want I've changed, I want to do bad, I want to provide for you, all this and all that.

So that said, okay, cool, We start dating again and we get engaged, we get married. Not long after we got married.

These little signs come back, and I'm like, I know, after being apart artist time, you don't come back to do the same shit you did when I left you the last time.

So no, no, no, I just flirt. This just flirt. I've never cheated on you. I'll never cheat on you.

Okay, Fine, we move forward. We buy a house and your Pennsylvania, get a dog, all the house stuff, you know, white picking fence, all that good stuff.

And then in March.

I see a document in his email and drafts and it's from an attorney's office and.

It said, you know, hey, mister such and such, we're the attorney for missing such and such and we need this paperwork filled out to send to the judge to sign with the divorce decree. I'm like, the divorce de crew, like, why are.

They sending him this now, Midria? At this time, I've known this man.

For eight years. I'm like, why they sending in him paperwork for divorce decree? Years later? So I look at its listed the date of marriage and the date of divorce, and at the time I've read it, I was like, Okay, it didn't click. It didn't register in the brain.

Because you know, sometimes your eyes and your brain are not on the same page. So I go about my day and then later on I'm in a shower where I do my best thinking, and.

I play out my day in my mind, and then something said, Mitch, did you pay attention.

Right? You're not paying.

Attention girl, So I hurry up. I'm like, oh my god, I don't.

I don't think I saw what I think I saw, and took my shower because I downloaded the document to my phone, so when I got the shower, looked it up. There's sure enough, I said. This man got divorced. His divorce was final two months after we got married. But the kicker and the killer for me was I've known you all this time. I referred to her as your ex wife when I talk to you about her or anyone, and I mentioned, oh, your ex wife, your ex wife. Not once did this man can direct me and say, well,

We had a wedding at midnight on New Year's Eve in winter, dressed in black.

The guests wore black gowns and tucks and you.

Know, came out at that house.

It was very for a very good party technically what it turned out to be because you can't call it a wedding reception because you can't be married to people at the same time. Well in some states you can't be right and yeah, it was like you know how it's and we as women. When I found out, my first thought was embarrassment, like you feel like, how did I let this nigga do this to me again? Like I gave you the chance to do this to me again. So basically I didn't learn anything the first go around.

Know, you're like, oh, I'm a good girl. How you doing when you're not?

I fell into this depression and my therapist was like, you need to get that out and get out your mind and get it on paper. And one day I said, you know, I'm gonna write a book. And funny thing is I was talking to one of his sisters and I said, I should profit off my pain. I can't believe he put me through orders. And she said, you should, You should write a booking profit.

Off of it.

And I said, you know, one girl, I am thanks for the encouragement. It was just your brother, but thanks for that. And I wrote my book in thirty days off of pure emotion.

And you said, that's who you're married to still right now? Are y'all like actively together in.

The same house? So there are right.

Now at works and.

So the same house. But so y'all amicable or what is it?

Like?

He has you know, he's moved into the guest room, although that's not where he wants to be, but that's where he's he is permanently. The house is on the market, so I'm trying to sell, you know, sell the house so I can move back to the South. I'm going to be a first time glamy. My daughter's pregnant, so thank you and to me, it's like the rainbow at the end of a storm. It's a chance of a

Particular age, You're like, man, because that's how I feel.

I'm like, I don't want to be in my fifties dating not like the options. And I'm not gonna say, you know, there's pe in the dating pool. It's a little cloudy, it's a little unsavory.

You don't because I.

Know how it was when I was dating before I got married, and to go back to that, it's a little But I'd rather be by myself and have peace than dating these men that find you in peace and leave you in.

Pieces about it.

Okay, yeah, because they swear all they want is peace from a woman.

But these niggas is not peaceful.

Right, And that's the thing you want what you're not giving. And I felt like that was the relationship. Oh he wanted all these things, but you're not giving the basics, which is trust, loyalty, integrity and yeah and yes, because how can you just get married to someone but then you're out here with whomover that you're meeting wherever, doing whatever, and then you come home to your wife, you kiss them all in the mouth and you hug on kids.

Yeah kids, Yeah, Like.

I should wash your mouth out with bleach at this point, you're nasty.

Would marry again?

I would, but I am definitely more cautious, and I think that there were some red flegs that I didn't pay attention to. But I will definitely because sometimes we get in our own way, and what may be a red flag may not really be a red flag. Like I would, I would go on a date.

And if I didn't like his shoes, I wasn't. They didn't get.

You know how you I don't like how this nigga chew. I'm out.

Why he got his T shirt took me.

I think I'm starting to be like that shirt.

I think I'm starting to be like that. Like normally I'll be staying. I'll stay in a relationship so damn long for no reason. Now I be getting out soon and earlier because.

You don't have the older you get. You don't have that time to way.

I don't have that time to keep wasting, you know, trying to overlook things. And then you have to convince convince yourself, like, okay, is this that bad?

Can I put a with that? Can I deal with that?

Like you're adjusting your once and needs for someone else, and ultimately, five years from now, the same things that you overlooked that were okay.

Are now getting on your goddamn nuds.

So saying that, speaking of that, let me ask you this. So he was legally married to someone else and didn't get a vorced till two months after you were married.

But were you happy outside of that?

No, because here's the truth.

If I was happy outside of that, we could have worked through that. I would have told him, Okay, let's just get a little secret ceremony and get.

Married and no one will know but us.

But when I looked at everything that I went through in the just the year from January of twenty twenty two, So when I found out, I'm like, look at all this shit you you did.

So this is like new, y'all, this is new new.

Got married last year year January, took him on a trip for his birthday in April, came back from the trip, I'm like, you know how we had those intuitions.

Something's wrong, something's not right. Look at his phone.

He's all chee chatting with some two women, and I'm like, this is this isn't an appropriate conversation. And then you know it's not appropriate when you only talk to them when you're not home.

If they call you in your home, you.

Don't answer, Like, these are all signs to me that something's just not right here.

But then you're being told, oh, they're just friends, they're just friends.

No, I know who just a friend is, and I know how just friends talk to each other, and this ain't it.

And one lady lives in Charlotte.

Oh shit, And I texted her. I said this, so I'm about to see you, but alimation of affection. If I see your number, you can do that. Yeah, and you know, as long as one person lives there. I didn't have to live there, neither day he, but she did. She was like, well you you and your husband lose my number. Oh yeah, I'll lose your number. You better than Bess my bet?

I bet.

Sorry.

Let me ask you this before you married him, was it ever any inkland like, oh, maybe I shouldn't do this, Maybe he's not the one, Maybe I'm making a mistake again, Like did you feel any of that before you say it was?

Fifty to fifty half of me was like, you sure you want to do this? Maybe this isn't the person you're supposed to marry. But then the other half of me said, well, why would God put y'all back together if you're not supposed to be with this person? So it was like half and half and like who do you listen to? Who's stronger, who has more of a word? And then I had I realized after the fact, like you know, was that even God that put us back together?

You want them to believe Yeah I did.

That, Yeah you did that.

He said all the right things, and I was like.

Okay, maybe he did not ratting.

And you want to give people the benefit of the doll. You want to give them a second chance. And I wanted to believe that. You know that's certain age you want.

Better for your life. You don't want to keep doing.

The same old dumb shit year after year after year. And you look back, you're in your sixties, you're by yourself. No one comes to visit you, no one call you. Your kids can't stand you because you're a piece of ship. Like at some point in time, do what When do you want better for your life?

I guess never. When they're like in this stuff needs in a wheelchair. I need somebody to wipe their ass, but it won't be me.

Has anybody reached out to you about being in a book? Like?

Why are you put living right now?

That's why I want to know the show?

Why he at work? That nigga like you trolling me in real life? Like I'm sick of your ass already, but you better.

Make sure I pickwork right from when y'all get that divorce he for to get some money off that book.

Oh he will not already, asks an attorney.

I say, said, you know, if y'all live separate and y'all are living as separated, he can't get anything from the point of when y'all alienated each other. So I'm like, okay, you staying your living quarters and I'll stay in mind.

Don't try to tiptoe over here. They won't be none of that.

You live a sneak and get a little counting.

Out because I don't know where that's I don't know where that's been, so I don't want it.

When you get the community service and you're delivering, Dick, I don't want none of it.

Ac if you won a part time job, he got what and we talked back uber meets that's our company act that like, obviously he got bombshit, right because y'all were dating and he was married at that time too. If it was a whole eight year marriage, right or however long it was, you said he was gone for eight.

Years and then came back into your life.

We were together. I've known him for eight years, okay, total, he married. He stayed married to her for so long, and she gets half his pension.

Girls, shut up.

Kept her on his because he's retired from the military, so he kept her on his benefits.

Yeah, found out he later he was paying her cell phone bill. But try to say he forgot she was on his plane.

All this nonsense, and now she gets half of his. And I think how she worked it. I mean, she she's a smart lady.

She was selling her house, which he never lived in but helped her buy.

And I guess the deal was, I'm gonna sell my house, I'm not giving you anything from it, and I'll go ahead and get your divorce because I know you're getting married. Wow. And then here come paperwork. She wants half your pension. So she sold her house, kept that profit and she's getting half your pension.

Okay, how long ago were they actively like together?

Oh it's been years.

He's never went to like because she lives in Texas, so he's never like went to visit her. He never disappeared and was gone off to Texas.

Somewhere and I'm like, what are you doing there? It was I don't even think she really could stand him. She never called.

It was never a situation of she called late at night and they're talking and I see her number every now and then. No, they rarely talked because their kids were grown and their late mid to late twenties, so they she was never they.

Just never got a divorce basically, because a lot of black people live like that. Like my mom didn't divorce my dad until maybe the month before she married my stepdad.

Yeah, and she was, look, I got to divorce you because I'm marrying somebody else.

But he should have done it.

Did it overlapped, basically, and then he didn't initiate the divorce with her, which.

If you wanted it that bad, you could have. You had time to do it. She filed for the divorce.

So if she if she's never filed for the divorce, I'm even once during although we got married, if she never filed for the divorce.

Where he what he even had said anything?

Because we were engaged before when we lived in Charlotte, we were engaged two times and then for cheating.

I was like, no, I'm not marrying. You were not left.

So for you to come back and like, let's get married, I would think, calm and since we'll tell you you should have taken care of that situation when you had the chance. The first couple of times engage, you was engaged to that.

Man more than once.

Three times?

You was engaged to him? Oh three times?

Chih Now I see, Now you got to take some accountability.

I did because I'm not, by said now cheated. I left him.

I was doing my thing back home, having a good time, running with my girls, my homeboys, meeting, dating, all that, and then he came back and was like, I've changed. I realized what I've lost. I was miserable without you.

Come to find out, he wasn't really that miserable because he was out here dropping it low and spreadnant. Why I knew why.

I've seen some of the things of the chicks, and I'm like, even meet these people? I mean I I figured out now how he met.

Them, because it was some people using fish or something like that.

Worse than that back page.

They don't get no worse bag.

I don't even can can we legally even say the name?

I ain't trying to look, I ain't trying to get sued now, Yes, s have y'all ever heard of school?

No that I'm jealous.

I wish y'all came up with that, Yeah, because they ain't trust me. Baby the Jay.

Start score Crocodile.

For men, because this is just women.

So start that for for for women that's looking for male company at night, you know, come over, do business and going about your business.

Basically, that's what it is online Ladies of the night. It's like ordering pizza. I guess you ordering pussy.

I don't mean same thing that's we're trying to create.

This is wild to me, so that that is scary, you know what I'm saying, Because it's not like he's having intimate relationships with people he's known for a long time, like you, right, random random bitches off the internet.

Off the Internet.

Yes, and people after they read the book, they're like, well, do you think he has a problem.

I don't. I don't know, I don't care.

I don't get the Does he think he has a problem. No, Yeah, because he he knew he got a problem.

He's anytime alligator for pussy, you got a problem, You got a problem, sir.

Anytime you have to spend money.

He got a lot of disposable income. Tell him we're trying to open a studio.

Okay.

You know, because he's not only cheating like he paid for pussy. That's a whole different level of cheating for me. I might can't deal with the cheating if you ain't man.

Paying some type of way, but type of way that I'd rather you take me out to dinner or on a trip and you paid for it that way, but just to order it for like fifty dollars and you know, And and it's.

The quality of Acucci that is not quality, is not quality?

Okay, that definitely discount.

Yes, That's what I'm saying. I need that we like is the race walk and hired.

Yeah, those girls are probably on drugs and all kind of stuff. They don't have no self word. They look like it because you know he's had he'll he's had pictures in his phone, little video head there.

I guess, you know, if you're paying for what they let you record them or whatever. And I'm like, when did you meet these people?

Did you say a condom in the video?

No, it may have come, it may have surfaced later, but at the at the point of these videos. Yeah, she may have put it on with her mouth later, but at that moments.

No.

Yeah, this is a bit much.

Imagine living living it and you finding these things as you go, and it's like one thing after another after another, and your life. It's a shock of it all for me as well, Like I we bought a house, like I thought we were gonna have this life, and come to find out you are a fucking devil in disguise, Like I feel hoodwinked.

You've bemboozled me for months.

And now that you know, I wrote a book and people are finding out. Now you want to be the embarrassed when you you're you're you're worried about how people.

Are gonna think about you, what they're gonna say, and and and now you're concerned with your kids finding out.

But you weren't None of that was a concern when you was out here, you know, fucking in your car or going to some tricks house and.

None of that well whole house, cause he the trick.

So for me just being so for me, like being able to just talk about my bullshit with people like that is like how I get relief from stupid bit shit, right, But like writing a book, like how was it for you to have to relive these things?

Or you know, was it therapeutic to get it out?

I thought it would be therapeutic to get it out, but when you sit because it actually started like I started with my childhood because I was like maybe I don't know if y'all know any West Indian, have any West Indian friends, and you know their parents raised them a little stern were raised a little different from Barados, right, yes, yes, And I don't know if had being raised away and bringing raised in the household I was raised, and if that played a part in looking for the love that

The adult relationships.

So when you have to sit and think about things that sometimes your brain wants you to forget, it can get a little traumatic. And then at one point in time, when I was writing it, when I got.

To this situation, I even said.

To myself, like, you were dumb and shit you put up with you let that man do more than he should have. You gave him entirely too much grace, and you forgave entirely too much. And I even told him, I said, I think I forgave you so much that you just didn't know how to stop.

It's like a kid. You keep giving them candy, They're gonna keep eating it.

That's why you gotta beat the ass the first time.

Yeah.

And I thought, I thought when I beat his ass the first time and left him, that he learned.

His lessons, had learned his lesses.

I mean and and and actually literally like I put fist the face with him one morning because I.

Rest some text between him and a coworker.

And one thing, if you're gonna cheat and talk to chicks and even talk to chicks that work, that's one thing.

But when you talk bad about me now talking.

With the side bitches.

Yeah, okay, at what point do we hold at what point do we hold other women accountable? Because I know they know he was married, You know what I'm saying. And then you like, if you know this nigga only calling you. Remember we did the live show Tammy, right and the girl in the front row and she was talking. Now your homegirl looked this man up and found out he was married?

Right?

What was going on both you and your homegirl mind to even make y'all saw snooping about this man. It had to have been something. He's calling you in the car, you only talk to him certain hours. Women be fucking knowing. And that's why I don't.

I don't. I don't have no empathy for you.

I don't have no empathy for women because women we know, we know when a nigga fucked up, and you continue on. So, yeah, you're never back to the house exactly. The home rerecord is the motherfucker that's in the home. But bitch, you have some accountability in this too, because you know that man is married and in a relationship with somebody else. But women always willing to compete, like they think that their pussy is gold.

So yeah, it's just attached to somebody else, that's all.

And they want to listen to when they when the man like, I'm not happy with her. She don't do this, you know.

You know, back in the day, the thing was, well, I'm staying for the kids. Your kids are thirty and forty.

You who are you stay? Who you stand for?

And then you have I have.

Friends that parents married forty years and now they're getting a divorce because they looking at each other now and they're like, I don't even like you and I don't like you either, bit so now they're breaking up. They separate in like, yeah, I just feel like some some people they want to believe that they're better than you, so they believe when he's telling you, I don't want I'm not sexually That's what he told a girl, I'm not sexually attracted to her.

You talking about your ex, I'm not fucking with you, because.

Yeah, the same thing to me, And she's all like, I don't know how women let themselves go.

I don't let themselves go. Baby, have you seen me?

I know people be very clear, thank you.

Yeah.

If people ask me often like I don't know, fuck, did he cheating on you?

Like I don't know right?

Why?

Yeah?

I don't never have anything to do with looks.

I got a friend of mine, like anytime she's into some shit with a nigga, she always like.

Like, you should have seen this this she don't look nothing like me.

But they don't have nothing to do it looks like you're comparing looks and like you down to this other woman.

Really it's your nigga. You know what I'm saying to him, you're comparing yourself to this other woman.

I feel like some people, not even just men or women, some some people both. They they're so hard on themselves there and they're the way they look in their bodies and all that that they.

Can't believe that this person wants them.

So it's like they mess up on purpose just to see maybe if this person really is gonna.

Stay, are they gonna leave? And if you leave them, then it's like I knew you didn't.

Really love me self.

Sabotage, yes, and how I believe some people don't know how to live outside of being toxic, like they have to have it somewhere in their life or something's just not right.

I agree. Yep. You talk about that, that six level language toxicity.

They thrive in it, they want to stay in it. They don't know how to get out of it when you try to.

Help them get out of it. Now you're the problem.

Mmmm hmm.

I just want to get back to the South and watch my.

Little my my grand baby grow and have my little grand baby and have peace and date start dating again.

Cautiously.

That's right.

Now.

We have a segment called dump dumb Bitch Story.

Right, well, you're telling a story, but I don't know if you even need to tell whatever this.

Episode you're so dumb, you are really dumb for.

The archives because yeah, yeah, tell us the time where you're the dumbest bitch.

Like get a situation.

All right, hold on, we're gonna go to commercial, so I'm gonna give you a chance to think about it.

We're gonna go to commercial, and you tell us when we come back, dumb bitch story. So because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice. Okay, So y'all can tell me if this is good enough or not. So we moved into a house. We weren't getting along, and one day, when he went to take a shower because he worked at night, I unlocked. He had two vehicles. I unlocked the one that he would leave at home. You know how you have your run around car and then you have your your going out car.

We don't use them.

And he gonna tell me, whenever you found in my car you put there, that was the first thing. And then tried to tell me, well, I bought it on purpose so that you could see it. And then I was like, so you bought one content So they said one one condom, Yeah, I bought one.

I said, that ain't a lucy, it ain't a loose cigarettette. I said okay, and stayed with him even after finding a condom in his car.

MM.

Yeah, it wasn't long after that though that I did leave him, But I stayed even at the finding that, Like, I've never found a chick in his house or anything like that, because at some point in time we did live separately A couple of times. Never went over there and there was a chick over there. But yep, found a condom, a one condom. The first time I found out he cheated on me, he came home from going out of town.

With the box, came back and I said what and then try to tell me I'm holding him for a friend. Nigga, that's always a liar. Yeah, but how do you hold condom? O?

My god?

Six forty seven? I said, So, what friend is more important to you than your relationship? Because there's one missing the con machine? Well least he's using them. And why do you need to hold it for him? Why he can't hold his.

You need to hold its?

Why that excuse even came out to your mouth? Like do you know how dumb you sound right now? You're holding condoms for a friend, but you have a girlfriend, right, So yeah, those were both they They're probably more, but those were fund The Connors part is real dumb and shit.

Like girl shame.

This was not that long ago. This might have been earlier this year. Child.

The guy who I was eating came home and we I was at his house and we were about to go out to eat, but he had like not unpacked his bag from being out, big dumb box for condoms in that suitcase.

I just look like I haven't even seen it, but yeah, like no, nigga, you was out out of town smashing a lot, open box were missing. Nah.

I didn't even say nothing about it until months later, because you know, listen, just in case you catch me or some whole ship.

I ain't saying nothing about your whole ship.

Because y'all wasn't like together together.

But st we've definitely was having sex with a condom. So I'm just happy to see him fucking somebody else with one. Yeah, so I was just tripping for real. I would make a music with me too.

Like you have any fondoms that stops some writing in motion?

Like what.

Pull one of those out there boxing your suitcase? I don't have it in that box over there. I want to know, what are you doing?

Now to heal, because I actually about the book you said that really wasn't how it wasn't really that therapeutic for you, you know, having to relive the things.

So what are some of the things you're doing to heal to our listeners?

And note, because I'm pretty you're not the only person that went through all this dumb this shit we've been through to not as extensive.

But I had to sit and first I had to figure out what I wanted, because unfortunately, some people that go through these things they don't some of them don't want or don't know how to get out of it, and not to not just physically or financially, emotionally and mentally because you're like, you're thinking about what's next, what's out there? Well, if I leave him, then what And then you start, sadly enough, thinking about, well I don't want him to be with someone else.

Now I didn't think that.

I was like, please let him be with somebody else, because she's gonna be miserable as fun.

But for me, it was.

How do you move on?

Like, how do you put the pieces together? What do you do now? We had a dog, we have a house. My daughter, this was her first.

Year out here as far as the school, and she had behavioral issues and problems in school, and I wanted to offer her the stability of going to like the same school and not different schools every year like she's been doing.

So then I'm like, damn, like how what what do I do? And why? I was just like, you know what, I can't live unhappy. When he's not home, You're wondering who.

He's with, what he's doing, how long he gonna be there. If he comes home two hours after he's left, You're like, oh, he must have been with somebody else. He leaves out with, you know, cologne smelling good and his clothes on.

You're like, oh, okay, so you still out here living your life. I can't live like that.

So even if it means starting over and you're alone for a little bit, I've rather had that then, and my mind betraying me and thinking things, And you know, your mind can turn against you when you're you're already in a state and you're thinking about what someone else is doing, what they could be doing, like you are capable of breaking yourself apart. The other person did what they did, but the after effect of it is on you. So I had to start thinking about myself when my daughter.

And I call her like, is it something you want to tell me? And she was like, why are you asking me that?

I said, because Amazon's trying to get you your prenatal pills and they can't get them to you. You're pregnant girl, She was like. She started laughing, and I madebe and she went into all that. So I'm like, oh, this is definitely the sign I needed that something better is coming. I didn't want to sell my house. That wasn't in the plan. And I had to tell myself with that as well, like sometimes your plans aren't your plans, They're

How do I move on?

And I prayed and I said to God, you must have a purpose for me. I'm gonna keep pushing on until that purpose is revealed. Put my house on the market.

Called my real estate agent, like, look, how can I how much can we get for this house? She came over, She's looking around. She's like, you sure you want to sell it. I'm like, I don't have a choice.

I need all ties cut talk to different attorneys. Maryland law, Pennsylvania law, totally different. Pennsylvania consernedos married, So I have to file for divorce here. Maryland considers us and considers it bigger me, so I would have to. I can file for an annulment and they avoid the marriage. It's a whole mess. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna sell this house and then we won't have property in Pennsylvania and then I can file for my annoyment and marriage and Maryland.

So I've repurposed the plan.

I changed it and I and the plan is probably only for it like this month and this month, this month, because sometimes.

We make a plan for four or five six years.

You ever meet someone there like, what's your plan for the next five years? It's okay not to have one. Oh, my own girl just asked me that the other day, and I was.

Like, girl, I don't know, I don't know. Five years is just you know, a lock. It happened the present.

Yeah, let's where about today and tomorrow, in the in the weekends, and let's let's let's tackle that.

So once I, you know, revamped the plan, I started to feel better. And every day is not a good day. Some days my mom reminds me of the dumb shit and where I am and how I got here. But when you know, I stopped trying to plan everything and make everything go my way, or stop trying to figure out.

How I got there.

Yeah, when you just let it go, it's like a calm comes and you're like, Okay, this is what I need to do.

You're down for a little bit, you're crying, You're depressed. I can't go on, I don't want to live.

All that stuff comes into play, But at some point in the time you got like, look, you've cried, you've been sad, you've been depressed.

What are you gonna do?

Now?

You have to get up and you have to do something.

And my something was okay, house on the market, get a profit from that, move back to the South, help my daughter with my first grand baby, Maybe open a couple of businesses. I have my esthetics license, Maybe get back into that our work. I can retire in January, like a lot of things I'm preparing for that don't include highs.

Period.

Okay, absolutely absolutely, y'all cop the book Okay, How I Married a Vegas. Okay, there it goes, y'all. It's gonna be New York Times bestseller from your list to God's end.

Where can you find the book? Tell them where they can find your book at so you can order my book on my website, The Creative Baldgirl dot com.

Traditional spelling of all the words why and girl. Just the Creative Baldgirl dot com.

All right, wait, hold on, let up.

Let our listeners know wherever they can reach you at Instagram, Twitter, whatever.

Yes, follow me on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, The Creative.

Ball Girl is my my user name on all of them.

Follow me on TikTok because I hear TikTok is the thing now and I need some TikTok shacks, Tani. I need them some thousands, honey, So follow me on TikTok. I'm gonna start hopefully doing contents. People say, girl, you gotta get people some content, get some followers. Okay, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. I got some you know, doing my little content calendar and stuff, and yeah, trying to get in some bookstores, some local black owned bookstores, do some book tours.

You know, y'all probably see me walking around Charlotte.

Hey, hey girl, I have a rise. I'm back dollar period. I love it all right, y'all. Thank you so much, Sean for.

That was great.

All right, y'all listen. So if you enjoy this episode and all the dumb shit, y'all, tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app wherever the fuck you get your podcasts at this your co host aj Holiday two point oh, y'all follow me down if you won't get on.

What's Up Tam, y'all is official, Tam Bam. I love y'all.

Thank you for tuning in.

Remember to speak now and never hold them niggas.

Oh okay, girl, get the fuck up early and soon y'all have a good day.

God bless later