The Main-Side

Hoping and we talk back where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh, ladder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about to go down.

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.

Back, big nasty throat nigga. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ.

Holiday, y'all is stair Bama. I love y'all the season changing my ship cut off?

You know it's dry and wet.

Oh.

I love y'all.

I love you to AJ. How you doing how?

And I love your back?

How's your weekend? Well?

My weekend was, uh, I did go outside this weekend? Okay, Okay. If y'all want to tell dinners and stuff I do eat.

She wants to be like, I ain't do nothing. Oh wait, I did do something.

Yeah, because it's not like super eventful. You know what I'm saying. I'm going to Miami this weekend, so I'll have maybe for next week. I have some things to tell you guys Miami. I'm one of my friends from well, she's a friend of a friend, like my first home girl I met when I moved to Saint Louis. This is her friend I met through her. She executive produced this movie called July seven. It's about the assassination of

Well bring me back in Haitian girl, You do not.

Want one of them niggas men. First of all, his mama gonna do some centrea on you something.

I want one of them niggas with a side of black rice. They're black rice.

Is good, black rice. It is good. I had black rice for the first time last year. I have used black rice to do my hair. You know, you do like the rice wash. I bought black rice to do that because it has like a lot of antioxidants and shit like that.

Mh.

But that fucking black rice is good, so good. It's good, nigga.

His mama made it for me one time many years ago, and I was like, I think I could be Haitian. He could, Mary Haitian.

What you had going on?

Y'all? Oh? What did I do this weekend?

Oh?

I went to see the Hot Boys Tour. Lil Wayne and the Hot.

Boys back that ass up.

Oh my gud, y'all, if this show is coming to your city, please go see it. I had so much fun. I was going from sweet to sweet, drinking up Nigga's.

Sounds about right.

It was a good old negro, y'all. But I paid for it the next day because I had to fly back to New York in the morning. And I'm just not built like I used to, Like I used to be able to drink and then get up and function the next day.

Oh yeah, that shit been over for me. I really have to plan them type of nights because I already know I'm gonna be in the house down bad the next day.

The next day, all day. That's how you know liquor is poison.

Yeah yeah, your body literally be like did stop?

Yeah? It feels so good while you're doing it, though, because.

You'd be feeling stupid while everybody else drunk and you just sitting there looking at them being stupid and drunk, Like you gotta join them or else, like you might hit somebody, like get your drunk ass away from me.

It's not about going to have some drinks tonight. But I was like, nah, you ain't never over it. Relax, you drinks Sunday. You didn't drink Monday because you was hurting from Sunday. Did you drink on too day? Relaxed, it's Wednesday. Just be sober. But it's like wine night at this spot and everybody's going and I kind of want to go, but I'm not going to go.

Not the wine night. Wine makes me feel depressed. And I don't even be depressed. It just makes me feel extremely mellow. I don't like it. Oh just down, you know what I'm saying. It's not you need up, you know. Yeah, like a little little man. I might have to mix it right with little little whoa got it. Let's get in the stupid internet news man, all right?

I love this one. Glorilla calls Duke Dennis medium ugly. So it was a video and he was like he heard the song and he heard his name and he was like, wait, is she talk about me? In that first part where she says she like niggas medium ugly, she wouldn't talk about me in that part, but she was.

He definitely was, so hold on, what's the legs?

It?

Says Gloria Raps that she likes her partners tall and grimy and mixed with a little bit of ugly, before seconds later calling out the popular streamer with the line, Duke Dennis, what's up with you? Is a lot of Tonni's fine. He's a nice looking boy. Is he not a nice looking man?

Yeah, he's good looking. He's medium ugly, he's handsome.

Is he medium ugly?

Though?

Is that what medium ugly is?

When I think of medium ugly, I don't think of like ugly for real. I think like kind of right, it's just a little bit like not too manicured.

Yeah, like I think of who do I think of? Like it? Just Alba is like medium ugly? Like it just Alba is not Like I can't even say he's not super aesthetically pleasing, because he is. You know, I think it's just all in cumbersing of all the things.

The aura word.

For your encumbensing. Encumbersing, y'all tell me what it is. Okay, I know what I'm trying to say anyway, But like the whole his aura like energy everything, you know what I'm saying, makes them this fine ass medium ugly, And I think just medium ugly means.

Man, yeah to me too, because I feel like Aaron Pierre is not medium ugly. He's just beautiful. He's just like pretty. You know.

I don't even think he's cute at all. See, that's the thing. So it's.

I think he's like pretty either. No, he got that was pretty as he got all these beautiful like.

All encompassing there you go, Google.

I like words, man, uh so, but Skepta is just fine as hell. He's not.

Girl the google him too right now.

I am I adore him?

Okay, So is he a medium ugly? A hood fine? Is hood fine a thing? I think? I think hood fine is also a thing?

Hood fine?

Yeah, Like niggas in Miami and.

Me them ugly and hood fire and be kind of similar though, because it's just kind of like a little rough, you.

Know, a little rugged.

Yeah hmm.

Oh. They got a picture of them together, how about that?

Yeah, train, This is.

A picture of Skeptic and Aaron here together, and both of these niggas was in the club. I am definitely picking Skeptic I think men behaved a little bit more when light skin niggas was in. These dark skinned niggas, you thinking they bad bitches many more than the light skinned niggas did.

Let me tell you when that shit started, Wesley Snipes kicked that ship off. Wesley Snipes kid the dark niggas thinking bitches down hill.

Ever since then, Wesley Snipes.

Wesley Snipes then came motherfucking Moore's chestnut and it was over.

Diggs ass, Yeah, what's that movie? I just seen a clip of it with Wesley Snipes and Along changing places, right, not changing places?

It was uh ah, God, damn Wesley Snipes and Nia alone.

Yeah, not Along, excuse me, not you along to violate them dis ap paary acts. Oh yeah, okay, I saw a clip like from a part of that movie the other day and that ship was so fucking triggering how he was gassedlighting the fuck out of her. Did you do you remember seeing that?

You remember that movie that?

Well?

I have to see it again.

Let's watch that movie this week. Can come back talk about it next week.

Okay, let's do it. Everybody watched Disaperiodics. We're going I'll talk about it on the shu.

You know Terry McMillan had that's in a chokehold as fucking kids, Yeah she did.

There's no reason that we should have been reading that type of literure.

And I think we probably have a better perspective of it, or different perspective now as adults too. We'll have a different lens.

Yes, like just watching like waiting to exhale as a grown woman versus when I watched it as a Child's just such change lens. Yeah, oh, and nothing has changed in thirty years. We're going through the same exact shit.

Ain't nothing changed. So y'all like fine hood fine or medium ugly niggas? I think we all like medium ugly anyway. I prefer speaking of medium ugly. What happened?

I said, I don't want to know nigga who thinks he better than me?

Yeah, be in the bathroom and the mari longer than you.

Yeah, like doing it. I hate listen as much as I love Drake. I hate how he do that little potty lip thing. Stop doing that?

You know, Drake thinking a bad bitch all day.

He just posted a new PITCHU, and I'm like, damn motherfucking fine, And I don't even you know, red Bones ain't really my type, but him and that ty Lepley, Oh my.

Now, ty Lepley is like ty Lepley has a different His look is different though, like he is fine and he has a grunge look at the same time. And he's not pretty though he's just fucking gorgeous. He's not pretty, you know, Like he's not a pretty light skin nigga. He might be light skin, but still a dark nigga. Drake is just light skin.

Oh, here we go, brothers.

No no. But speaking of medium ugly and ship, which y'all think about Neil, Neil is technically medium ugly. He take the hat off right.

Yeah, and he's I feel like his personality might be a little medium ugly too, because he's just been some bad stuff coming out about him. I mean, I don't listen. If you're in the parly lifestyle and you can afford, you can have as many bitch as you can afford, as far as I'm concerned, as long as everybody is in the know. But I just hate that. I just always associated Neo with a gentleman, you know, like the dun correct.

Bad stuff, those hats and suits and the year of the Gentleman album, and I thought he was a family man.

And it's just all that's how you just never you think you know a person.

Yeah, so he actually speaks on telling his kids about his poly relationship. He continues to double down against any anyone criticizing criticizing his embrace of polyamory, it says, following his divorce in twenty twenty two, when his ex wife Crystal Renee accused Neo of infidelity, the forty five year old singer had and spotted out in public with multiple partners and spoken about his perspective on dating. So he has multiple girlfriends. Now, everybody know each other, everybody on

They look pretty happy. But well, remember what was that rapper? He had, like a couple girls and his harem rapper. He was like kind of fat, he had a big old but.

Oh then they got to Texas what's the name? Two times? Two times?

A couple of times that didn't work out though you saw high that ended sadly like that, Just like you know, it's hard, first of all, getting three bitches to get along with each other for over years.

Just impressive they were getting along them niggas. Be Those are the men that have high tolerance for like headaches and bullshit. They it's like that, like they just are able to function in that type of toxicity. Yeah, so I am actually happy he's finally living in his truth quote unquote unless y'all human's favorite shit to say, living

That's what I'm saying. Just not the year of the Gentleman. I guess that was.

I was doing all this while making their songs. Well, I'm so sick of love songs.

Yes, should listened.

Yeah, they ain't never lie.

It's scary out here, that's like why Sometimes I be thinking, like should we all pick one person? I think as a woman, it seems like you're be getting the short end of the sticks sometimes.

You know, men created marriage so they can all somebody, so everybody would have a chance at getting pussy. That's what I believe. Okay, just lock lock in a female whoever you can lock in, lock her in. You know, I don't like it.

I don't. I mean, like before that, they would be clubbing bitches over the head to get their pussy.

You know, like, man, I don't think that's happening. Not the most black people.

How do you have humanity came about? You know, like continue to speak humanity.

We've been humans, this human for a very long time. There's another group of people who are kind of young on the planet now. They might have been in kieves and knocking bitches over the fucking end. We have we have cultures where women were like real life metriarchs, Like we was running shit and men did what we told him to do. So all thezulus, Yeah, a lot of different tries, a lot of different cultures. Yeah, we're getting

Oh, I'm here for it. I'm a fan of dion Sanders. I like his energy is very strong masculine energy. And I know if it's true, he is kneeling Kruci little self to the bed.

Yes, I like that for her because I know he probably like real healthy, he gets up and joll every morning. Nigga got good heart health. That ship wrong, bitch. I know it's strong. It looked like it gets strong.

And he's probably like very like like uh, very like not bossy, but like that's a grown man, Like you're not playing with Leon Sanders. Like she probably had to be a little baby that Listen. I don't see them together, but I'm here for it.

Yeah, she's like that.

You don't seem like she was like a man that much more sure than her.

But I'm probably tired.

I'm probably wrong.

Yeah that's what happened. You just listen, get somebody who ain't playing no more games? Ship they tired. They don't want to do much. They won't lay the fuck down to Yeah, aplication, take some yacht trips.

You know, I got invited to Barbados next week, and I'm trying to decide to do. I don't want to go.

Go. I'm so jealous. I'm going to Barbados this year. I'm jealous. If you go, you ever been? I know I want to.

Live there Wednesday to Sunday.

That's not long enough. I need nine days. I ain't got expensive.

I gotta go to school. That's where I have to be after it, like they're going to be gone. But I can't. I can't go. I already paid those classes, so I got to cook.

Yeah, Barbado's expensive as hell too.

Man, But yeah, I don't know. We'll see, We'll see if I go.

Go, man, go for me. I'm going this year for sure, and I'm gonna take a long trip if I got to go by my fucking self.

Do we have a baddie. It's the last week of it, there.

Is, y'all. But you know, Black history is all year. Black history is American history. And you know, I was having a little back and forth with a friend of mine, a very close friend of mine about this the other day when I saw the headline, because man, I swear all I get is negative hairline and negative political headlines all the time. Remember how to tell you Tammy. But it wasn't just you. I mean in that day, I mean, motherfuckers was slamming me. And it's like, I feel like

Listen, I hear anything positive black.

Yeah. So Alice Marie Johnson, I don't know if y'all have ever heard of her, but just recently Trump appointed her to be pardons are So this is a newly creative position in one of his kind, you know, in American history. So, she's an American justice reform advocate and former federal prisoner. She was convicted in nineteen ninety six for her involvement in Memphis cocaine trafficking organization and sentenced

Have more parts are exactly so.

She would be she'd be working, you know, with the Department of Justice, and it is exactly what it is, just like you have the borders are the person who's who was in charge.

So she's pretty much taken Kim Kardashian job because that's what.

Well, Kim Kardashian was just the face because she's a big name, right. There's people who Kim Kardashian was working with, like different organizations that do this shit like they you know what I'm saying, they help people get pardons all the time. But Kim Kardashian, you know, she's been helping because of who she is.

Why not definitely was the prior.

She was the face of a partner. Yeah. Yeah, So I mean, whoever we got put in place to help.

This black woman. I always support black women, black women doing great things. What's her name?

Her name is Alice Marie Johnson, and she is a baddie and a Jeminiah.

We salute you. You're a baddie who talks back.

All right, y'all, So I know we were talking about who the hell was we talking about anyway, y'all? Oh when we were talking about neo ass side bitches, name bitches, new bitches, Baby Mama is all ship?

Oh is red blue bitches?

This week we want to know, you know, because the side bitches be be thinking that they be women. Let's come, okay, side women, the side women, the extracurricular activity women. You know, my one I The the thing I hate to see them say is don't ask me, actual man, bitch, who are you talking to? And then the main you know, the main who thinks she's entitled to all the things like who's really winning? Who's the main chick versus the side chick for this this week's episode.

Who's winning that fight?

Like who's you ever't been a side chick? All right, y'all, were.

Gonna get into that conversation when well, give it.

What's up?

Y'all?

Welcome, and we talk about podcasts, and today we're delving in a controversial topic with relationships. Okay, main chick versus side chick? Who winning does anybody win.

Nobody wins when the family fuse. Okay, you ain't family if you're the sidebitch.

Now according to who that's true? Now, side bitch be turned into the main fast.

Sometimes sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. We saw that movie The Family that Praise God, you these movies, I think it was, but don't give me the Lion. So it had Alfree Woodard in it. I can't think of that white lady's name, but she's in it. She was amazing and Sonata Lathan okay, and she played the side chick to.

L Oh what happened? That was a rumor.

I don't know anything about that. So, yeah, she played the side chick to the Kiff Cart that was his name, the white guy who was Yeah, and she had the car, she had all the money. She had like three hundred thousand in her savings. But it did not end well for her.

Didn't she get pregnant?

She said, my son is a Kiff Card. But I don't know how true that was because they never really went back into that.

Okay, I definitely remember the movie now, see.

But yeah, she was like side bitch extraordinary, you know.

So let's let's define the roles, right, what are the roles of the main chick?

You would say everything everything important, Like all right, she gives the kids, she's with the family, she nurtures, like she feeds the family. She is his one and only when it comes to it, like it'll be like him and her when it's all over. That's the main chick. That's the one that everybody knows about. That's the one who takes the family portraits. That's his main. Yeah, that's the main So that's the wife. Well, not necessarily because it could be a girlfriend too.

Okay, we'll talk about it from both both aspects, like a married man would a side or married woman would a side. And then like the boyfriend girlfriend okay, because I feel like with boyfriend girlfriends, like if you ain't married, like you like fair game.

Yeah, you like you can't post somebody for you're a homewrecker. You fucking my boyfriend. No, he's out here choosing right if that's your husband. Now, now you got to let the stand on my boyfriend.

Really don't suit in the state of North Carolina.

I mean sometimes like we will look at a girl crazy if she messing with somebody man and maybe they not married though.

The celebrity world, I look at all the people crazy, like if you fucking we all know that's that lady husband.

Are her boyfriend there? Yeah?

Why are you on him? And then you talking crazy that.

Ship with Jello Jello ball and Nikki Baby. That hurt my feeling.

We know that. That's so why you why you on him? That's why I like, I love Sweetie. I like Sweetie a lot man what she do, but I just did not like seeing Sweety on little baby lap, like you know that's Jada way the old man. Yeah, it's just why are you doing that? Chicken headish anyway? And it was so what's the world is?

But they wasn't married though, so it's not married, but they are publicly that if his laugh is open, do he does she know his lap open?

But see, this is why I say women also have to take accountability. The owners does not just fall on the man. Like, yes, the home record is the motherfucker that's in the home. But if you intentionally and knowingly engage with a man knowing.

That you reationship, you're just as culpable.

You know what I'm saying. You can now I've definitely been on some ask him, don't asks me type ship. You know what I'm saying. With a boyfriend situation at work, Ain't that the same shit? Huh?

Ain't that the same ship? Though?

You know how I find out like because most men, like you don't know, they're not going to tell you that in a relationship. Now, all of a sudden, somebody randomly calling your cell phone. So when a person does that, I'm never gonna let you feel like you got to live. Sorry, I might cuss him out, but you don't got no love when you call him, Okay, because you're coming to me as a woman, and I'm coming as a sniper

I mean sometimes the family like the sidekick better than they like the man.

And they waiting for her to get the hell up out of there.

Yeah, it's a slippery slopes, it really is. It's it's real nasty.

I feel like when women cheat, like we actually have side men like because only because men play the side better than women. Yeah, when women play the side y'all calling this man's wife, y'all, popping up places, y'all getting pregnant y'all in the video, Like Diddy, it's a woman with a man, is like he really playing his role.

Right because he don't want the responsibility of being mad all the time? You know what? That mad?

Yeah? He I think side chicks don't want the man all the time either, like do acquire him? The relationship oftentimes soils typically.

You know what, when it's a younger woman and an older man, I think that dynamic is like I don't want him for real. I just want the bag right he doing, he takes me out, I have fun. I don't want her responsibility. But when they're peers, when they're about the same age, that woman might want that man for real, you know, like he's gonna leave her for me energy. Yeah, And that's just the biggest mistake as far as I'm concerned. Don't ever want to take a man from out of a home.

Yeah, because side pitches be cooking for niggas like you tripping?

Why are you cooking for are? Like? Because trying to do all the things that the wife isn't, you know, or the main chick isn't. That's what they're trying to fill that space.

And I just feel like if he's gonna be a side girl, it's like a fun position, right, business trips, you know, you with him, things like that, like and you just always shut the fuck up and quiet, don't talk. Girl, Cholston got some drama going on. It's a girl and there she They put it all on you on Facebook. How they went and beat up the husband's girlfriend who apparently they used to have threesomes with, but he chose the other person.

Yeah, what happened with Stevie j and Mimi and Joscelyn her name.

They used to these three sons together.

That's what I That's what I thought, like they had like an intimate fum relationship. And then he kind of went another direction.

No, these are real life ratchets, Like I'm gonna sing you this Facebook video because the bitch got her stucking still hanging off. It was her her daughter, which is a young adult. His mama, His mama was there because it happened at her house. And he likes the wife better. I mean, she likes the wife better. But they all jumped the girlfriend.

Oh that's that's fucked up. He chose yeah, instead of jumping.

But the girlfriend was talking shit online, well maybe rebuttal online to the girls talking She like, I'm not about to just shut the fuck up all the time while you talking shit to me just because you supposedly the wife like he obviously is out the door.

Was it a real wife, like were they legal years? I don't think. I mean, I don't think the sor shit. I think she should be quiet. I don't think she should be arguing. But you don't really have a lyric to stand on. This woman has a valid reason to be angry with you, but.

She came in as a unicorn, so you invited that shit into your relationship. And then maybe y'all cucies ain't matchup, and he chose the unicorn.

Is it always just about Cucci? I don't think it's always just about Cucci.

So I heard that he's making and I don't even know these people. Girl, This is just what I heard to the grapevine, Like he he's actually even trying to change his life for this girl. She's a little younger than the one he's married to. The wife obviously is super ratchet, right, But I think they all kind of remedial. Also, I don't know, it sounds like a.

Very remedial situation. But there are times where men will have a wife and been with her for a long time and then trade her in for a new model. That happens. It'll start as like just an affair and then becomes the the side becomes the main because she's more youthful, makes him feel younger, makes him feel more alive.

Well, my mom is a prototype, because that's swear of God. All my daddy girlfriends and current wife, they're younger than my mama, but they look like my mama.

Like, that's really like a younger version of you. That's so hurtful.

They didn't really win the winner. Okay, I'm not paying on bills with Nigga. That's the way to work. Why you got this, old man?

Is there perks of being a side chick? Though? Are there, like really perks?

They're suppose it's supposed to be about perks. You're not supposed to be falling in love and all this shit, but people do it.

So how do you how do you stop from like you don't be delusional? I'm like such a hopeless romantic. I don't think I could like survive in that type of relationship me because I'm a fall in love.

I'm not gonna fall in love because I match energy. So if I don't feel you falling in love with me, I'm not just going.

I can't you think the niggas don't love their side nigga be acted up at home being mean to his wife because him and his side bitch having a bad day.

Remember that. I was like, you'll be surprised how me, but just have relationship issues with your nigga right?

Why you so sad?

Baby? I gotta nobody like that man got you.

Getting your nigga tad because his side bitch hurting his head.

Dog. I used to be like, listen, don't like my space is zenned out. My whole life. Wherever I'm at is zen It's quiet, it's smell good, it's clean, it's fun over here. Don't bring that bullshit that you got going on at the house, your baby mama and the kids and all that shit. And now you're coming over here mad, disturbing my piece. I ain't do nothing to you, yeah, but obviously you need an outlet right quick. And now you're coming to my house with the bullshit. So I've

Sometimes I think, all right, so I'm single, and i've been single for a minute now, but I'll be feeling like if I had because I'm kind of stuck in my waist a little bit, if I had a man in the home all the time. I already told you I might want him to have a side, bitch, so he could just like get on my face a little bit. Not right away, but after ten years, after ten years looking at this nigga day in and day out, like damn,

Really care no more, but I just better not I'll find out about it. You be, just just don't let me find out if you're out here outside, because the minute I find out like I don't have patience for finding out no more. Yeah, but if you're doing it and I don't know more, part to you, bro, and if she okay with the amount of time that you give her, Hey, man, y'all do y'all think, just don't bring me nothing.

After two years, I'm feeling like I might be feeling like that. I might just be saying that I might be heartbroken if I found out my man was doing that. But the way, how is my life right now? I know that that space would make me happy, but like you know, time away, So maybe I probably need like an open situation, but not at first, just maybe like later seeing the same person day after day after day for a year after year after year.

That don't sound crazy, It is crazy. I'm living it right now.

Too much pressure when I'm home alone.

Yeah, and he don't even get on my nerve and none of that shit. Like I really really be chilling, like we have a little I can count how many times we like had a little back of forth. You know what I'm saying that Nigga told me, Hey, he told me to shut the fuck up the other day. Now, I was pissed about that.

You probably needed to.

Like, because he was really shuffling trying to get the fuck out of the house, and I just was still going at him, sounding like my mom heard my mama voice.

Come up my body, bitch.

Because you know, I was mad about the equipment. If I let you hold something dog like, take care of it, you know. So it's not about the things. It is what is your value system?

Our value systems don't it was it was an accident.

It looked like he was changing oil with my fucking cable and that nigga, don't fix that car, okay, So yeah, like, take care of my things, treat your ship, how to fuck you ever you want to. But when it comes to my things, don't touch him. And then he gets mad. When I asked him how to touch my things, he told you to because he was shuffling at the door. I said, yeah, you' trying to hurry up to get out the house in it. He shut the fuck up. That's the rude.

Hell.

Know, well I should have not It's okay to shut up something, No, because I be shutting up a lot. So when I do yell and I get mad, it's because I have already shut the fuck up twenty times over. Yeah, okay, so now you're gonna get this.

But once you get to a space where nigga is verbally telling you to shut the fuck up, maybe just shut.

Up, or maybe take accountability and say, you know what, you're right, my bad. I do care about more shit than sneakers. I do. I do care about you know, your cables and things.

I think probably by that point you had already driven it home and now you was just like because I.

Didn't get a response from him, that was the first response with shut the fuck up anywhere?

Going to work, don't nobody, No, we might have just got off though.

No, for real, the nigga had just just got off, right.

I had a long day at work. Whatever, talk about a motherfucker.

I don't be on it. I don't be on nobody hit that bad. So if I get on your ass, you deserve it, okay. And I was already fucking aggravated at your ass too. So it's one thirty PM and I'm tidy. Humans.

I was like, she wants to be on her period day might have been, Yeah, it was given. It was given period energy.

Okay, so a period.

She was like, I don't have the bandwidth for any more of this today. I'm done.

I still did the work though I did Okay, yeah, that's all that matter. I would not have been able to do that if we kept going to circles and then I just calculate time different because I know my bullshit. Some people don't know they bullshit. I know our bullshit as a team, so I know how long it takes us to do things. So I'm calculating that in my mind.

But I feel like you did it this time. I absolutely did.

I absolutely knew he wasn't going to have time for some next shit. Now we happened to because of our bullshit.

I knew it would play out just like.

How shut up by?

You know what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying.

Like we're gonna have a break. I was like, yeah, okay.

So supposedly the main chick is public. Okay, they have the official title, the social Recognition Emotional Investment. But I feel like the man loves the side it's been on. How long she've been around. I feel like you sleep in anybody long enough, you be around anyone long enough, you are going to develop feelings for them, right, you know what I'm saying. You may not be about to discard your entire family for this person, and some people have.

Well, I think they had already broken up before.

This is why, this is why Tory Hart always be like because remember his current wife, what's her name? Yeah, that's somebody else. Even anyway, Kevin hart current wife, I remember her putting like up online like how long they had been together, and the ex wife commented, oh, okay, that's interesting, So y'all been together eight years, so it overlapped their marriage. M Yeah. Absolutely. She was a side chick and he married her so.

And had made a family.

Yeah, so I mean, if he didn't want to have the hard conversation.

I will always tell women not to play that role. I don't think like nine times out of ten is not gonna end well unless you're just in it for the perse. But if you're looking for the man to leave his family and be with you nine times out of ten, that's not gonna happen.

And then you also keep him how you get him right? You know? So now you you don't expect that to happen to you when he's ready to swap it out right. I just saw this post, and I don't know if this was real. I thought I believe it was real. But it was a woman and she was saying how it was a white woman. She was saying how she fell in love with this man and he had a wife, and basically he told the wife, I'm in love with somebody else. I'm no less in love with you, though, and I want y'all to meet.

And then how did that go?

He brought them in to the table together. They both they had conversations and they I guess neither one of them wanted to leave, so they now they're just yes, but like still separate though, Like he has a girlfriend and a wife and he eventually left both of them for somebody else.

And I you see, you can't listen. You can't please them.

You cannot.

That's why I say it's important to set boundaries and not do things just to please your man.

Exactly.

You can't just just be doing things to please your man, because you will find yourself in the bottom of a poll.

Up YOA says, may get cheated on but gets social recognition. Yes, duh, yeah, of course. So the one of the UH pro cons to being a main chick is that you may get cheated on, right, You can't get cheated on as the.

Side right because you already the cheat right and the cheat.

So the side check is the second option may get treated better than the main, but without commitment.

You got me sitting up in the house with these kids all day and you out gallivan with some bitch and a casino.

Yeah, no stress over there. Over here, you gotta be a husband, you gotta be a daddy, all the things. So now this is your like fun time outlet over here.

I can understand why a man would want that.

Yeah, and some say, you know, I think a lot of wives they may not admit it. They may not admit that maybe the side made their.

Their relationships better better.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I just can't be there because I'm gonna want somebody else too, Like you're not gonna want me to be your sivage because your sivage got a nigga.

Well, no, that's not true. Some people, like two married people will cheat together, like they'll be each other's side, and it makes it easier because the side doesn't need you for the other things. Like so sometimes women want that man to be their man, and he can't be their man because he's already somebody else's. But they already got a man at home. They don't need him for all of that shit, you see what I'm saying.

So that makes it that's why it's easy for women to have a side than men. Yeah, women be over there waiting on the man. So that's why she got too much time to think, go get you a man, right while being the side. Maybe you tell him, maybe you don't.

So when I was in Europe, I had this client and her she had like got her a side nigga, a younger like she was in her fifties. She looked really really good though. She took me really good care of herself, and she had like a thirty something year old side guy. And she was expressing that she didn't really want to ever cheat on her husband, but her

And she's healthy.

Yeah, she's very in the gym and everything, and she was like, the doctor would tell him what to do to help, like, you know, promote better penal function, and he just wouldn't do none of the stuff. So she's like, I waited three years for him to try to get it together, and he just won't do it. He's just not motivated to take care of himself, and I can't do it for him. So I would and got somebody who could fuck me.

Yeah, or maybe he needed enough, maybe they I think sometimes I just saw this and said it, either you want to cross mountains with your partner, or there'll be the mountain you gotta cross. Right, So sometimes people be in uh, this state of depression whatever it could be this other person, maybe she's no longer for him obviously, right, she really should have just left.

Yeah, that's what I say.

I mean, but leave and then he probably would get somebody that would motivate him in a different way, you know what I'm saying. Right, It was just complacent in something.

But I also think like they had so much together at that point.

That staying together because of responsibility, and they.

Got kids, you know that aren't out of high school yet, so it wasn't as easy to just be like, oh, let's just separate, you know, and they got all that financial you know, endeavors together, so it's cheaper the keeper or killing the keeper. What No, don't kill but listen, we like when we're talking about a woman doing it, and I'm like, oh, now I understand that. As soon as we talk about a man doing it, I'm like that bastard that fucking right.

So who really has the power in these relationships? Because the side bitch got the power to piss you off, right, Like, who's really getting like good treatment the man?

The man is getting the best of everything. Yeah, he gets to go have his fun and have fourn a kid with this girl who is fun time. He don't have to worry about responsibilities with hers, just his outlet. And then he gets to go have a family with this other person and build generational wealth and have a family. You know, like you just winning on both sides.

Yeah, so basically then nobody's winning between the main.

And Yeah, they don't win at all, you know, I don't.

Know, I feel like I know the main isn't. Well, she could win if she divorces and takes all the things that may be a way of winning she doesn't win the relationship and then the side. I mean, if she can actually play the role as a side and get all the things, you know what I'm saying, people be getting intuition, paid, all types of shit if you could be a proper side bitch.

But I guess it depends on how you define winning, you know, like, because why isn't the main winning, Especially if like this man takes care of her, She don't have to want for nothing, don't have to worry about like responsibilities outside of like nurturing the family and taking care of the kids. I'm making it seem like.

That that is a lot of shit responsibility while you round here gallivanting. Absolutely not.

I would love to sit home, go to pilates in the morning with my hot yoga and then cook a meal and then take care of the kids, and that would be my only responsibility. Women are doing that and maintaining full time jobs and having it, you know, wear all these different hats at the same time. So I mean, if you're gonna have a side bitch, you need to be able to take care of me. Ain't nothing worse than a nigga having a side bitch who ain't got no money. You know.

That now those who got it's not even for those men, but they doing it, I know the most. No, but who is allowing that though?

Right?

Because he don't even got enough money already for the woman he has. And now you gotta lie to your ass.

And go to their house to pick him up.

Not you really gotta cook for this nigga because he can't eat otherwise, right.

You the side bitch and you picking them up for the house?

Man may be having options. Man, So when these niggas be, these in cels be on these podcasts, dog, they don't have nothing to do with women. Why you ain't getting pussy, get some charisma, get some smell good, get a haircut, get a hairline. Get It's because somebody want to give you some kucci. Okay, it just may not be the kuchie you think you're supposed to have access to. And I think that's that's why they be fucking mad, because yeah, you you you might can't get the ten you know

Did we talk about that? No, we did not. Girl, what's good for the goose is good for the game. Yeah.

So he he had been with his wife for a while and he admitted that he had cheated on her. She knew, yeah, uh huh. He said he kept getting caught cheating.

Okay, life around.

Yes, And he said that his child, which is not her child, and then their child together was basically happy for the mom. So it's here. It's so. It says my wife and I have been married for twenty years. I will admit that I have cheated on her. Throughout the years. She caught me each and every time. I got tired of being caught, so I stopped. Two years ago. At dinner with our family Saturday night, my wife comes out, gives me divorce papers and tells me she's leaving. Why

I give all my bitches up for you.

I didn't tell you to do that.

I just told you you.

Couldn't do this and that nigga, you could have chose that anyway. So he was like, I changed for her exclamation point. We raised children together, we have a home together, and I was planning on surprising her with a new car. Apparently my son, who was not her son, knew about it. Our daughter knew about it, and they had the nerve to fucking congratulate her. She told me that she was She has been in a relationship for the last three years, and she decided to marry this guy. At first, I

Like like scared right now, Like.

You better beat me.

You can have a signed nigga, especially if you know you ain't treating her right.

We are cats.

You can't cheat over and over and over again. I think there'll be no karma.

Exact, he said. I don't know how. Excuse me, he said, I don't know when and how she had time and cheat on me, and I did not know. I will not leave her. I would not let her leave this marriage easily. He says. She would have to leave with absolutely nothing. My question is how does she do all this? And I didn't know.

Because while you was out doing you, she was doing her too. We was making love to you.

You can making love like what you thought. You know what I'm saying, Oh.

What about that show Pee Valley, which I can't wait for it to come back on. Don't do that and that's a good show. We miss you, Uncle Clifford. But where the wife? She was the doctor, and she was married to Andre. Andre was the politician. And he went back to Chuck Lisa and he was trying to like revitalize Chuck Lisa and things like that. And he started messing with the stripper Autumn Autumn Night and oh yeah, yeah,

Wasn't she a unicorn in a relationship?

No? Okay, No, he was in Chuck a Lisa. His wife was in Atlanta, I believe, okay, And he went to Chuck Lisa and he met autumn night, and then they started having an affair. And I think they only ended up really having sex one time, you know, but they were like, you know, it was a build up. But then he came home to his wife. He had been gone for a long time, and when he came home, his wife had another doctor in the house having sex with him. And my friend was like, oh, she fucked up for that.

Well in the house.

Yeah, in the house that the like, don't bring no you can fuck around get killed for that. Yeah, don't in your house. That's crazy, Like you just don't give you got you give zero fucks. But what's good for the goose is good for the gain. They're like, if he was home instead of out in Chuck A. Lisa having sex for the strip girl, his wife probably would have been involved with him and not with this other person. You left space for that exactly.

Yeah. Oh when you got too much time and think all type of shit happened.

Yeah right now that house. Now, don't do that, anybody. Do not. If you decide that you want to have a side relationship, do not bring them in your home. Whether you.

Probably still now, I got shit, missed it bags.

You did that video like I'll bet my side big house, and I got his wife shoes off. She had shoes that looked like Monica.

Be fun li you on my life.

That's dangerous.

Yeah. So this nigga, he want to know how she did it. She did it because she she The reason how she was able to do is because she actually cared about your fucking feelings until she didn't anymore. Because obviously you was fucking cartwheeling doing the douggie and the fucking trip out on her heart for years and kept getting caught. So you were being sloppy and a lot of times you don't even gott to look for shit

Movies, right. I remember I found a condom in the bed and he was like, he let his homeboy come over there.

It's always the homeboy.

You got a five bedroom house. Why did they fucking your bedroom? Why wouldn't they? Yeah, just just telling me like you lying in my now you're playing in my face because the lies are stupid. It don't make no sense.

This wasn't my man, right, this is my whole nigga. We was having we had sex and now we about to go to sleeping ship. Hide as hell. Something wrapping around my fucking toes underneath to cover fannies. What a low mucus in it too? I still want to sleep. This ain't my nigga. I mean, what you expect you he fucking somebody else, but goddamn sheet.

That's the thing. You're laying in the sheet like the disrespect of putting me. But you never know how many business have been because I don't even know if niggas watch they don't.

They don't, So you be.

Laying in a woman's sweat spot off.

Remember we did Poor Minds, and I was like, I buy men's sheets. It's not because I'm worrying about hooping fucking on the sheets. I like nice linens. I want to feel comfortable in your.

Ship, right, So I'm gonna do all the things right because you might buy him. He still might somebody.

Now you fucking on my sheet. Oh he has good tasting linen, exactly, these thousand count cotton organic cotton. Nobody's winning. I agree with you when you say the man man is winning. It's just about perspective. It's subjective who the actual winner is. You start throwing kids in there, sh'it get fucking messy, because we do know that men get side.

You're still using the condom. Girl, If it's somebody on the side of your relationship, you should not be having unprotected yea.

And that's why your wife trying to figure out, why the hell exactly? Yeah, we be knowing. Even if you don't say nothing, we ain't caught you. Our body tell us you're cheating. Fuck nigga anyway, Damn fuck nigga anyway. Yeah.

So, by social standards, the main is always gonna be the one that women champion, Like, we're always gonna be on her side. And now we're gonna be like, this is the one he chose. The other woman is, you know, conspiring with this man, and people can get hurt, you know. The one who's in the dark is the one who can ultimately be hurt.

You know.

So I identify with that more and I side with that more. However, when we talk of terms of winning, nobody wins when the family fuse, the man wins. He's the winner. Yeah, and that's it.

Stay off these people, husband, man, that's not gonna stop because you don't want nobody on yours. This is what that That's why I don't fuck with people husbands, because I might. I might beat your ass up about mine. I listen, might beat your ass up about my husband. I might pull up to your house.

Prior to ten years of my marriage. Don't fuck with.

I'm the ten years. Call me first, let me see if I like you girl? What you're doing it on Saturday?

Can you can? I can go? Thank you girl. I would see y'all some money now that aspiring.

The man conspiring with the side right.

Got it about the house?

That is real love? Okay? All right, y'all. So if you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on the iHeart Radio Apple wherever the fuck you get your podcasts at this Joe co host aj Holiday two point zero on Instagram. Nobody your nonsense anything else in between? All right? Go ahead?

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