Sex and the City Ft. Efeti Egun

I am in recovery mode, ch'ad my first week of three, I gotta beat the funk up by some little bug I picked up, probably at this house party I went to at my home girl house. But I'm recovering. You might have had COVID. You might have had COVID. No, I don't know what COVID feels like, but I didn't lose my taste, smell, none of that ship you know. Reminded me of like when I was really young and I used to have bronchitis a lot. That's that's what

it felt like. That's what COVID be feeling like. Bro. Yeah, but these things existed prior to COVID. So why why you don't like this test? Because I feel like sometimes the test can be contaminated. The last time I took a COVID test, I got sick. Now, I could have very well had COVID at that time. But I literally took a COVID test, and in twenty four hours I was sick from having stuck some ship out my nose. But you was already feeling sick. That's why I was.

I took the COVID test to travel back from Jamaica. Oh yeah, I don't know. I don't. I ain't never heard of nobody getting sick from the test. You don't know, though, you don't know, You're right? That was my weekend, y'all. If y'all kid, I was sick, and now I'm back. I went to the gym yesterday. I'm here today. That's what it is. What's up? I think I stayed in my house? Oh no, I'm lying. I went outside. I went to U always outside, bit you'd be lying. I

went to uh see Carlos um Miller. Carlos Miller at the Ovens Auditorium here in Charlotte. Y'all. When I tell you, this nigga was so funny, This nigga was so funny. Oh my god, he had me like holding on my stomach, laughing like like laughing like that. That boy is funny. And he also agreed to have me in a j on eighty five South, so y'all stay too for that this year. So that's a good time. And that's really all I did. After I went to the show, we all went to um O this place called Tattoos and

Booze in Charlotte to see the fight Davanta Javante. Yeah, we watched the fight there. Well, I only watched a few minutes of it because my bullion started hurting on my left foot and baby had to go because we didn't have the table and I don't do that, so I had to get up out of there. But that was it. I love Carlos Miller like he one of my favorite comedians and that like um, Corey Hokem, Corey Holkem and Carlins Miller. Then my people, Corey Holcom definitely

will go there. He's one of the people who are not afraid to say whatever the funk they want to say at all. Yeah, and sometimes that ship might have it's like nigger, why you say that? Like how do you even fix your mouth? It's so embarrassed, Like I feel embarrassed. Yeah you said that ship. He yeah, he definitely pushed. But Carlos Miller is like he liked that funny ass homeboy, that funny ass cousin. This nigked don't. I don't even think he does he even write some ship.

He just be funny and then he just go out there and start talking. Yea half of the comedy came from the crowd. Like. It wasn't even like him telling a joke like you know, yeah, it was like a girl in there with a key chain with a blood cut on it, and he did a whole set about a blood cutter just that quick, you know, And it wasn't you know, you couldn't have magic. Yes, magic, he's mad. But you know the eighty five South show. They're doing prov for that show. Two they don't really like have

a ski just go up there. I could got their food. So it's it. That's that's a real life talent you can't get on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah, he asked me. He asked me, Uh, if my pussy was played by a person in a movie, who would my pussy be? And I just could not figure who my pussy would be. Like I went. I eventually went with in the beginning, my pussy would be Earth the Kid, mocking, and then my pussy would be played by Cecily Tyson in the end, a strong, strong pussy that all my life I had

to fight pussy. Stupid. One girl was like, my pussy would be played by Ray. He was like, you gotta inscutre pussy, Yo, broken pussy. Man. I'm trying to think who mine would be played by. I don't know. Earth the Kid is a good one, man, I don't know that's a good way. All right, let's get into the

sins of this week stupid internet news. I don't know if y'all watch football, I really don't, but I saw this on social media that the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Cleveland Brown fourteen and in the celebration they did CPR motions to one of the players on the field as a victory dance. And you know, last week tomorrow, Hamlin, you know, needed CPR on the field because he went into cardiac arres and I just thought that was real tacky. Yeah,

that's kind of disrespectful. That guy could have passed away, Like would y'all have done it? Then? It's super disrespectful. It's just like tasteless. I mean, the a but a graceful God that man is still here with us, you know, God bless him and he and and he'll never play again, that's for sure. But I really that they would pay him out his Phoe car track, which is a good

thing they should um do for everybody exactly. I was wondering, like what happens in that case, because we know football players contracts oftentimes aren't guaranteed, So do they have like um health insurance and stuff like that, Like a regular person would that. I'm I'm hoping so I would like to think so anyway, But that's whack as fun that they did that. Yeah, Like that's traumatic experience for everybody that was on the field during that time. And y'all

whack is hell for that. And it was just last week. Yeah, y'all don't mean wait, it was just last week. I hope they get some kind of fine for that ship. Yeah, Samon's good. He tweeted Saturday, uh and he was like, who won? The doctor told him that he won the Game of life? Period. Black people are so funny, man. We could turn like some really bad ship into a good time all the time? Are we taking and run out like doing CPR That was stupid stupid internet news

and other stupid Internet news. Young Thug Um trial is due to begin, I believe in the next coming weeks anyway, but right now they're in jury selection. So while injury selection, the judge um, he's basically reading out the lyrics of some of Young Thug songs in court. And I thought that the jurors are supposed to be like, um, you know, non biased, like they should know all these details about the case, about the case until they're actually selected to

be a juror. So to me, it's kind of like they're almost taming the jury already convicting Young Thug if this is how they're now handling sh in court. So I know in California they threw out using lyrics in court, but apparently this still stands in the state of Georgia, where they will use um rapp lyrics in particular because we do have the most violent music, right they are now using lyrics against uh these artists in court. And I mean we're in a place like Atlanta. They're in

a place like Atlanta, Georgia. Everybody's a fucking rapper. Okay, it's like you can't have anything happen, and then you wrapped about. Even some ship that don't have anything to do with anything that you're currently in trouble for, they may use those lyrics in the court a lot. What you think about that? Do you think that you know, because it's art imitating life or vice versa? Which one

is it? Uh? You know? For me, it's kind of slippery slope because if you're a rapper and you made a song and and my cousin got killed and he's like, yeah, slice, spooky, yes, look with a knife and put his body in the ditch, and that's really what happened to my cousin, Pooky, I'm gonna need that to be used in court to get you convicted. Right. So there's a part of me that

feels that way. But then is an also a part of me that feels like a lot of times these rappers just be entertainers and there's a lot of capping the songs and y'all using it to make them look bad when in the actuality it's just music. You know, it's just for entertainment purposes. So it is a slippery slope. For me, you know, right, And he's using lyrics from a song slime shit. So listen to larrics are and then what when you read larrics out, It's like what

the fund a yall nigga is really saying? It's the beat that'd be nice. These niggas cannot wrap okay, and says, hey this that slime ship? Hey, why is sell ship? Hey killing twelve ship? This is fucked up? Okay, Hey, fucking jail ship. Hey, cooking white brick. Hey, Hey I'm not new to this. Hey, I'm so true to this. Hey, I don't put a whole slime on a hunted licks. You read it better than that judge because he was

sucking it up. Read it to the beat. God. Like I remember when I was living in Atlanta, there used to be like billboards that basically they're the police was trying to hire people to interpret gang slang. So they were trying to hire civilians to help them. You know, understand, Yes, yes, this is a whole another language. So um the judge proceeding over the trial as a judge, Cleanville's a black man. Um, I don't know. I don't think that they should be

able to use lyrics in court. I think that in this case, young thug does not just need a defense attorney, he needs uh civil law attorney. He needs a couple of people in there because this this freedom of speech. I feel like he should be able to um get the lyrics thrown out, the use of the lyrics in the crimes, because a lot of their case is based

on the lyrics in the songs. Yeah, so I think he leaves a civil rights attorney and then just like somebody to interpret the law because I don't see how this is legal for them to read it out to the jurors right during jury selection. Yeah, it's weird. So it's a lot of unprecedented should happening in the state. I always say, the jury is going to be members of your peers. They already know them lyrics if it's members of your peers, right, Yeah, but it ain't. There's

some old lady from Marietta. Yeah. This that September last year, Governor Newsome signed the decriminalizing artistic expression at Act a B nine nine. So it effectively bans the use of rapp lyrics evidence in court and making California the first state to pass such a law. They need that law that should be a federal in Georgia, especially because there's a lot of rappers in Georgia, and then with the

gang community in California, like its rampant. It is as it is, if they really wanted to put niggas in jail, like they would not have inforced something like this. They would just let it be and use all those lyrics against against uh the artists. But also it would be wise to not incriminate yourself and your music at all. Also, you know, that's the weird part about it. It's like our generation we did things discreetly with the drill music.

These young guys are literally committing crimes and putting it on wax. It's so weird, Like you don't even have to snitch on them anymore. They snitching themselves. Get somebody else to do it. That's my favorite ship, I know. Isn't it fun? And you gotta do it? You gotta say, just like her, ummm, get somebody else to do it? All right? What else happening? All right? I'm sick of these people. Okay, So I know I sent you a couple of clips online after we spoke about this earlier,

but um so the family of Big Scar. He's a rapper who you know was murdered recently. He was, Yeah, he was on Gucci Man's label. Gucci Man Um apparently told the family that he would cover the funeral cost, right, so I believe he. Yeah. He passed away December twenty two at age two, young boy, right. I don't know how long he was signed the ten seventeen records, but Gucci Man said he would cover to the funeral expenses.

So some of his friends and family took to the internet to say that, you know, once they asked Gucci Man, you know, was he going to cover the expensive expenses? He hung up and blocked them for teaching or Gucci Maine's wife Okay, so she took to social media to produce evidence two receipts that she paid that they got that they collectively paid for flowers and ten thousand dollars towards the funeral expenses for this young man Um. I don't know what else they could have done. The family

is still saying they didn't get any money. They paid the money directly to the funeral home. Did y'all want that money to go to your hands? Right? So y'all can cremate him and split the uh nine thousand. I mean they should have created him in the first place. Yeah, I just don't. I don't agree with spending thousands and thousands of dollars on and this is my preference, right I can. I'll say this, Um, living your life a certain way and then put in your family and a

hardship when something happens to you, it's very selfish. So we know that cremation is much less expensive. And I don't know if it's a religious religion reason why they have to have a burial, an actual burial, but cremate that boy and keep it moving. Did you have life insurance? This is the stuff we need to listen. This, This is the hard truths. I'm sorry, it's just a hard truth. Like you you're leaving. If you need assistance to bury

your child, y'all don't have it. Y'all don't have the money. He didn't leave any money nothing. Obviously, if y'all talking, it's crazy about somebody outside your family that did assist. Yeah, I don't understand why they were sold. You know, people more indifferent and I just try not to pass judgment on people morning. Uh, but it's unfair for them to feel like Gucci didn't do enough. He didn't have to

do Honestly, he didn't have to do nothing. You know, nobody's entitled to do anything for you, right, did he die for you? That's the only way I could think of. Like even then, Oh, you can say your condolences. You still don't owe nobody anything financially. What they did was nice. You know, they gave money, They gave ten thousand dollars, they sit flowers. You know, what else do you want? What else do you want? Oh, he's asking for his chains back to So Gucci Maine is asking for the

chains that he gave this young man back. Uh. I don't know how I feel about that. You know, it's his family. Probably could sell those change and get some money if they needed. You know, I wouldn't ask for Once I give somebody something, now, typically ask for it back. I mean they're already gone, So who do you ask for it back? Or was that a down payment on his career? Why? Why? Why do they give the chains away? Anyway? Like when the when the record give a chain, is

it a company car? It's a company car? Right based to give them to give them the acstatic that you need to look like legit in the rap industry, you know, and we know a lot of people rent jury all the time. So just it's just like a rental while you're with this group. Give that man back the jury to. I believe they should give the jury back. I doubt Gaucy Man sees this jury. He might as well just just chuck it up as a loss. Yeah, let's just still a still a conversation about drug use in our

black community. And because he died from prescription overdose, young man and too, so it's a sad chain of events. Rest in peace to this young man and be grateful when somebody helps you. That's all I got to say. On man. Yeah, this is real. It's real nasty what they're doing online. It's embarrassing. Yeah, I'm embarrassed, and it's it's not even me. I'm embarrassed. Yeah. So we're gonna take a break and we're gonna talk dating in Los

Angeles as a black woman. And we're back. Okay, we have a special guest on we talked back this weekend. We want to talk about dating. Okay, uh, sex in the city nine oh two one oh style. Okay, we have sat whom on we talked back this week. Girl, Hey girl, Hi, hey hi. Oh my god, but I'm excited me to Okay, So y'all a little backstory. I went to l A to uh Bi, Samone and Megan Brooks live show for No for Sure, and I met

Effie there. Effie was fabulous. She was looking good, she was glowing, she was standing out, and we just got to talking about being beautiful black women and dating. And I was like, girl, I had to get you on the show and talk about dating in l A. So thank you for coming. Girl, Let's get into this for having me. I'm like, I'm super excited, Like I am very very excited. Good good Listen. We've been going back and forth since what was that November about a date,

so finally we got you here. So I'm gonna jump into it real quickly. Do only day black man, Yes, exclusively only dateway. And it's not because like I'm racist or anything. It's you know, um, in college, I had my degree was in kinesiology and my minor was an Africana studies um and I there's so many things that I learned within the Africana Studies course that maybe just want black. I don't want mixed race kids personally, I

just want black. Let's talk about it. And um, I always felt like nobody can raise my child to be black in America than a black man. So again, everybody is beautiful though, you know every but for me, my taste is like, you know, I like black man. Let's talk about those studies. So what does that all entail? Africa Africana studies? What is that exactly? So going into it, I thought it was just gonna be like African American history, but it's deeper than that. It's like the psychology, sociology.

It taught me like it broadened my view on how I I interact with Africans within the diaspora. And when I say that, I mean because I am Nigerian American, my views on things are somewhat different from someone who may be born and raised in America as African American or somebody that's Caribbean. So um, it just gave me a more a broad a broader understanding, and more sympathy too, Like when I see certain things like I don't react like oh my god, that's just like who does that

to me? It's like where, how did they grow up, like what happened? Where did they come from? So it's more like a broad up like a psychological thing as well that goes into it. That's interesting. I'm on Clubhouse a lot, and that's usually. Have you been on Clubhouse ever? Yes? And you so you've seen the diaspor Awards on Clubhouse essentially between Africans and Black American people. And I think it's sad because, like it's funny enough, like my best

friends for over ten years African Americans. I go to their family reunions, they come to my Nigerian events, like we don't even care. So when I see stuff like that kind of breaks my heart because we're stronger together than divide. And just because we I guess, you know,

different areas. I guess we come from different areas, doesn't necessarily necessarily mean we're different culturally, yes, maybe, but like if we just come together, look at black women are killing it out here across the disk, you know what I mean? So what better way to like not keep us powerful than to just break us up instead of us coming together? So I don't I don't really be paying attention to stuff like that because I feel like it's a lot of ignorance, that and a lot of

self hate from both parties. So yeah, so all right, you say you only date black men, and I think that's a lot for a lot of black women, Like I only date black men. Do you date outside of that? Have earlier on before I became a black panther, but nowadays you know, I'm just saying no, Yeah, my preference number one preference white. I mean, look, black men are my number one preference. Yes, So do you feel like with that it limits us from options? Especially you in

l A? Because what l A population is eight percent black? I mean, like, how do I explain it? Like? I don't think so, because they're gonna find me. Okay, Like they're gonna find me. The only problem with it with me is the way I talk. I noticed, Um, I don't know if you guys can hear it, hear me? I sound very valley, I've been told. So that's what stumps me a lot from talking to black men in l A because they automatically assume I only date white men.

Really interesting, so when you meet a black guy, they assume that you only like black men verse I mean white men versus black and and that's a thing that makes you unattractive. No, I mean they just they don't. They wouldn't pursue me. Like I remember I went to Target one time and just one dude just came up to me like they're beautiful or whatever, and then I started speaking. He was like, you like the type the only date white men. You sound like the type the

only dates white men. That's ignorant. So it was just like I was like, mm hmm, that's yeah. That's so that's definitely ignorant with ignorance within our own thing because because of how someone's someone talks, so you automatically associate that with smart. So is that a me problem, sir? Or are you problem? If I sound white? Is what he was trying to tell you, Right, that's the thing

we use in the black community. You sound white? Yeah, I mean I got thought like, like I said, all my life growing up, you really don't sound white to me, though, Like you sound like you're from l A and a black woman like black women have like this tone, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's just like, you know, what's a black woman? Okay, So I don't know what

are you're talking about? Yeah? So all right, I was I was watching this video earlier, just trying to get some information on like l A and you know, they have some questions for you. And there was this black woman saying that l A has a very self center centered culture and that's why it's hard for black women there. Would you agree with that person when you say self centered, Like, do you mean like everybody feels like they're or something

like everybody feels like they're superstar type of thing. Yeah, And everybody is very self absorbed, and it's hard to meet anybody that's just really interested in anyone else because they're so self absorbed. Like she was saying that, like nobody says good morning, and nobody says, oh, you look nice. It's just kind of everybody is all in tune with theirselves and waiting on someone else to be I would say, men, I've been complaining with my home girlths about this man

out here. How do I say this like so nicely? You'll have to be nice. I have never, like I could never in my mind experience like even think like I would be going through some of the stuff I went through with some of these men out here. Um, they want to be the passenger princess. They want you to, Like if you ask a man like why don't you give me flowers and lay, they'll be like why when you get me flocking? Or like you can go on a date in l a and they will make you

pay half the meal on for the date. So dating in lay is such a struggle because a lot of I don't know what it is because it's maybe no, they're just I don't know, like they just don't feel like they need to put in the effort. And I think that the problem is a lot of females nowadays, like us, like a lot of women, we enabled that

behavior sometimes so they think it's okay. So like they'll do it with the first girl and then they'll come to somebody like me, and then it's more because it's just like I'm not about to deal with that, you know, So they just I don't know if it's it's not because of money, it's I guess it's a self absorbed They feel like, you know, I look good, I'm the prize. You've gotta chase me too. I'm not just gonna put in the effort, so I'm not going I'm not going

to do the most for you. So yeah, and like I said, we enabled something, not us, but like some women enabled the behavior because a self esteem may because of insecurities. I don't know, but like I'm just not with it. So I agree with that what she said. So it's l A like the home. Others like what the fund is happening in l A. All I know is I don't. I personally find it very difficult to day in l A. And I said, I will not be dating in l A anymore. I will only be

doing long distance. It is not bad. I have left. I'm done with l A and I'm only So are black men in l A attracted to black women? I want to say fifty fifty right? And I also like it's it's hard because you know, growing up in l A, you see a lot of mixed race women, and you see a lot of white women, you know, and then of course there's black women. And technically when you see a black man, you see them in the arms of

a white woman or a mixed race girl. So like some of them swear they love black women, but they don't date us. And you see that play up like play out a lot in l A. Like black Yeah, I love black women on pro black This is not blah blah blah blah blah. But then their girlfriends or track records are all white or mixed race women, So like to me, it's like, I don't know, like do you really love us? Or do you love saying you love us for attention? You know what I mean? Do

you love that we stand by you? Do you love that we will take care of you? Because Black women were very nurturing and when we are in love or when we care, we we tend to hold our own down and like where we ride, you know, So like do you love the fact that you know that you would if you're with us, that you you will have a home and then you can go do something else,

you know? Or do you love your mom and sisters who are actually black because your ass is black and they look like you and those that are black women you love? But when it comes to dating, you don't like women who are esthetically black, you know, because a mixed race woman would say I'm black, you know she and she might be culturally black too, but aesthetically with the like featurism perhaps more not lacking Black women personally. Though I do date Africans, I'm like more I don't

do it on purpose subconsciously. I don't know why, well, no I do. I'm Nigerian, so like subconsciously I go towards like Nigerian men or African men, and it's because again Nigerian African men. They the way we are raised is the men are the provider's period, right, So like going out on dates with um them or just even planning a future, it's like, I know, like they like I'll be cool, like I don't have to think about or be worried about do I have to pull out

a wallet right now? You know what I mean? And we they you know, dating an African man. They love black women because we you know, we love our people. And it's hard because you know, growing up in l A, there's obviously like African Americans, it's Africans whatever. I got bullied more growing up by African American boys and girls then I did from white people. You know, like they love black women. I don't know fifty fifty, but they don't.

It's it's very they don't show it. It's an insecurity within themselves because imagine you're going through life intentionally trying to recreate something that doesn't look like you or trying to create something that doesn't look like you. So the only way they can do that is not to be with the black woman. This makes me think about um, y'all, remember when Sweetie and too Short and not too Short is fifty five years old, too shortest from California. He's

fur in the Bay Area. Sweetie is what. So he was having a conversation with Sweetie saying, you know, mixed heritage. He's always it's always been his favorite. That's usually who he went with, right, Um, he's never been with just a black woman. Um. And he was saying it like two ugly people could come together and make a beautiful baby. So in his mind, like, it has to be someone outside of the black community to be a pretty person. Right, So that's the problem with him. It has nothing to

do with black women. And he essentially essentially said like that they did that to him, So his preference is based on where he lives geographically essentially, and too Short it's not fine. Let's be cleared. One of the ugly people he's talking about is himself. So in order to him not to recreate another one of two shorts, like, he had to get a woman outside the black community, in his mind. That starts a conversation about colorism and featurism.

And I feel like out in l A, like, um, your proximity to whiteness is what makes you more beautiful. It seems like, or like your proximity to whiteness with a hint of black features like the full lips and the full I've got a lot of on some white women, brown women, it was like they they they they love nigga ship, but they don't like niggas. That's what I see. I mean like growing up in l A right like it's a majority of what you see is white and mixed.

It's it's crazy because I never thought I was ugly growing up, but I did feel out of place. I felt like, um, if I didn't have curly hair or I wasn't damn near passing, I wouldn't get any attention, which is true because in college and know in high school, middle school, I wasn't nobody liked me like nobody liked me.

The black guys would make fun of me. I was told my lips look like pillow clouds or whatever, like people get lips and like I I what I do love about this generation is that we're moving kind of away from that a little bit, and we're now like embracing how beautiful black is, you know, And I really really love that, and like it makes me excited to have children in the future where I know that I can bring them into a society where I don't have

to have that talk with my daughter, Like, you know what, these kids are good to make fun of you for this because of your hair not being as curly like this or straight as their's, you know what I mean. But growing up it was rough. Like I played soccer,

you know, always the black girl on the team. And I remember one time in the soccer game, somebody was like get the negro what And I'm not joking, and my heart dropped like midst I I don't know, like I just remember everything just went slow motion for me, and my dad had to pick me up, get me from the field. Like my dad was like, we have to go home, and I just completely stopped. And I was only black girl on the team, you know, black

girl playing soccer. This not and all I see our white faces around me and like or I never saw color like that in a sense, Like I was just playing soccer. I'm just playing games with my friends. But that moment I realized I am not one of them, Like they did not see me as an equal part at all. They see me as a black girl playing soccer with them, and that is it. I am not an ally or whatever. I'm just a black girl running

on the field. I was you say twelve eleven twelve was like the first time I e Arrian's like real life racism, like aet the Negro. Oh my god, Like yeah, like my whole body just went Negro and tears just started coming out. And my dad, like I said, came on that field. My daddy's like a six something African man straight Nigeria from Nigeria, accident all came picked me up, was like we're going home, Like you didn't get the fight? Did you continue to play that? I continue to play

with that. Like soccer in general, I loved soccer. I that was one of my passions. Um. I didn't let it stop me. It actually fueled me because I was like, okay, like I'm gonna be the best at this point, like this is what it is. I'm I'm gonna run all y'all over, which is what this negrol gonn whoop y'all lads out here. That's what I did, Like, I this hard.

My dad would take me to extra trainings, traveling, and I was like one of the best players, and it was like that was the moment when I was like, yeah, you just see me as another black girl. So I'm gonna have to work at hard. So that's that's the white kids. So the black people who tease you, right, were they and I'm just trying to get someplace right quick? Were they light skin or dark skin? Like? Where was

it the dark skinned guys that would tease you? Yeah? Okay, So I have a friend, right, My friend is very very light skinned and she gets a lot of like a lot of hate online from brown skin dark skinned women, I mean just and she has two black parents, but she's very fair complexing. Her father was really light her

dad and her mom is dark skinned Jamaican. Right, So anytime somebody has a problem with her, the first thing they're saying is, bit, you ain't even black, Bit you just dad and up And she said, you know, and she's older than us, right, she's in her fifties. She was like, you know, I don't remember this being a thing when light skinn niggas was in style. So she no, she doesn't. She doesn't remember colorism being a thing when light skinned niggas was in style. It wasn't until everybody

was you know, I want tall, dark and handsome. Everybody's picking them now and they're like the you know, I guess the top of the totem pole. Everybody wants a black man. You know what I'm saying. Light skinned men catch hate and heat all the time. So is it because like dark skinned men are now like the it why black women are experiencing colorism because light skin men, Like everybody, I attract light skin men. I've always liked dark skin man. Yeah, we that's our preference. We like brown,

dark skin men. I always or at least like color and darker. But to go like we are good to go, you know what I mean? Um, I don't know, because like I said, growing up, I would I wouldn't say it's mostly dark skinned. I think it was a mixture, but it was it was predominantly dark skinned. Um with them, I mean, black men are always it for me though, Like I just felt like they were always popping for

every woman. I never remember a time when black men were not like well that's because you're only twenty five. There was a time when light skins growing up, like all the girls with like googly eyed over the black guys, and the black guys, will you know look the other way towards me, They're like, get out of my face. I don't want you. I don't want the latinas, I don't want the white girl. So I don't know. And it's because probably because they got teased for being dark.

So now and then, it's just kind of weird because dark skinned people will go out their way to create light skinned people. They create the light skin people that they hate. So this is like the other side of colorism. Do you see what I'm saying. Yeah, I've never seen I never saw it like that. That's wow. Who created light skinned people? White people? But I mean we perpetuated in our community. You know, in Africa, everybody comes to

different colors. I don't know why. I here is the thing like it's especially so we're gonna take it to Nigeria real quick. Right Ebo people, Right, the Ebo people, a lot of them are light skin naturally, like very light skinned. So I don't know, I can't necessarily say white people created we like ed might have started with them, like with the house Negro, the field Negro, this that,

and the third right. But within the black community, we definitely uh continue pushing it, the colorism and racism within our own race m amongst each other. Yeah, we do that. Yeah, we give things hierarchy, like the light skin girl like even so what's sweetie? And too short? So Sweetie, I watched the video one day, and Sweetie, she looked so uncomfortable with him saying these things. But how else do you elevate her without knocking these people down? Is what

he was doing. So you're knocking down the regular black woman, the brown skinl this and we're beautiful, you know what I'm saying. Skin just even saying the regular black woman, she's not regular, she's just she's a black woman. That doesn't make it, you know, it's like knocking down the regular black But she's mixed, Sweetie is like Korean or

something in black. She's not completely black, right, So what I'm talking about is just a black woman who identifies as a black woman, who has two black parents, not mixed. When I say a regular black woman, So I'm not I'm not calling black women regular by any means, but she was clearly because she identifies as a black woman. Sweet identifies as a black woman. Again, I always say this. You know, black to me is not a race, is not a color. It is literally a culture. Okay, you

can identify with the black culture. But we have had all these different, different definitions assigned to us in Black America, which is why I think I love the fact that you actually studied this in school, which a lot of people probably should so they can have a better understanding of what's going on and this and this hair equal system because it is different. It's different in Africa, is

different here. Even though we're the same people, they're there are people in Africa who may not consider themselves black. They identify what whatever tribe they come from, you know, so would would they consider themselves black though, Like I'm not black, I'm Ebo. No, you'd be like, I'm still black. I'm just I mean, I think it depends when you're talking to you, like I'm Urba and Ebo so like, but out like when I'm like when i'm you know, in Atlanta, I just say I'm a black girl unless

you ask me, like what I like in America? Yeah, if you're in in Africa. Would that be the same thing though, if you were back home. I mean, we just I don't. I don't. I don't know because I guess we're all black, so we're just kind of like, you know, where are you from? I'm Ruba, what do you? Where do you? I'm Ebo, so kind of I think, go buy your tribes. I guess like I don't ever actually heard anybody, and I'd be like, I'm a black girl.

Like they just be like, I'm an Ebo girl. I'm because most people are black, So it's like it would it wouldn't be a determining factor. I wish we could get away from saying black and African American. I really wish we could get away from that. But we don't have a tribe. A lot of people don't have a tribe to associate themselves with. We could create some ship or there. There there are tribes you probably can trace your lineage back to, so that we can get away

from that, you know, from using those terms. But that's what it's a big thing. That's what people needhould go by. Mm hmm. Yeah, I don't know. Should y'all have a good time where I definitely when I saw everybody in uh Ayana this past New Year's and I know Ghana they're offering people citizenship even even outside of Dati December, Like just go, like go doing this on my time. I want to say, like June, it's beautiful. Africa is fun like West Africa. Let me I don't let me

not talk about all of Africa. I'm West African and I have never been to South Africa before, but I know it's beautiful down there. But Nigeria is fun like nine Jia. You will have a good time obviously, like be safe, but like the people are welcoming, the food is good. M hmm. What about that yellow fever vaccine? Can I go without you? So you have to get a yellow fever vaccine? But it's I don't me personally. I don't think it's a big deal because I've had

it since I was a kid, you know what I mean. Um, But I think it's to protect you because like you have to also remember we're going to a new continent, right so like when I got um, I had COVID when I got into Nigeria one time, COVID mixed with malaria. It's not a game. It is not a game like because it's it's I don't know how explain it. It's we also don't have the same medical assistance as in America in Nigeria, so when you get sick, like you're really like, it's just it's just not a game. Get

the vaccine. What I'm gonna say it was, Yeah, that was terrible. I'll get the paperwork. Let's be clear. I know a guy because that was fair about traveling. Damn, I'm never going to make it to Africa now if I gotta get all these vaccines, like, I'm not for it. Yeah, me neither. But you know, I'm not like against some vaccines, like new as vaccines that haven't been tested for a

long time. I'm against those, but like the yellow fever vaccine has been wild for a while around for a while, right, But because I have MS, I don't think yellow fever vaccine is good for me, you know. Like so I'm not sure. Maybe you can talk to somebody about it, but I've gotten named, My brothers have gotten there. Everybody I know that goes back home gets it, so they

get nothing. I'm trying to go out there and see what the men talking about, because I know they like big booties out there and I got one of the women. Nigerian men are beautiful. Yeah, we're gonna have to import one from some place because the black men in America do not. I won't say they don't. Okay, let's let's stop generalizing a little bit, but when we speak about

these things, they act like it doesn't exist. I was watching a Holst on your page, Effie, and I saw a guy commented it was like that's cap and her p o V. Was, you're a black woman trying to date in l A and a black man is basically like dismissing that you know as not true and that's

our experience. To me, like reading comments like that sometimes like I don't know how you're gonna dismiss my experience as a black woman, because when you're a black man, like you don't even like what are you talking about? Like you're not experiencing what I have to go through. You're part of the problem. Like what do you mean If you're not acknowledging the issues we're bringing forward, then

you're not helping. You're not a solution. You're part of the problem that you're not trying to you're not trying to learn. You're not trying to do better, You're just trying to fight. You're being defensive, you know what I mean. So that's my experience dating in l A Like it's kind of just like it's like you have to tiptoe kind of like, hey, do you like black I said

that on the episode. I said, I think Black women are the only group of women when we see an attractive man, like somebody we would date, because we always, you know, fantasize in our minds when we see somebody like what's your am data birth? I need all that ship, right, But we're the only group of women that have to say damn, I wonder if he likes women. Damn, I wonder if he likes Black women, Like we actually have to have like run down those internal questions when we

see a guy that's attractive. I don't think any group of women have to do like white women don't have to say damn, I wonder if he likes white women because their men are not marrying outside of their you know, outside of the race. Are you talking about with other white men, Yeah, there men. You know, black men they're

at the top with marrying outside of their community. They are so it's it's it's black men and white women, and then, um, this is a statistic I read and so it said like the marriages that actually last the longest are black women and Asian men, which I think about that really I would, I don't know, Like that's shocking. I didn't. I didn't know that so Asian men are like the least sought after while Black men are at like at the top, and Black women are at least.

I feel like it's changing, though, Like I really genuinely feel like it's changing, like I I maybe I don't know what it is. I just feel like now people are starting to really see the beauty and us, which is sad that it's taken so long and there's still growth, you know. Like I'm not saying like we are the most sought out there, like we are the most like people see us as the most amazing, which they should.

But I do think a change has happened. There has been a shift because I'm going online and I'm seeing so many people talking like dating black women, wanting black women, craving us. I don't know if it's a fetish. I don't even amongst women, you think it's a metish. I mean, no, I don't. I don't. I don't know. Can you feel it? In l A? I feel like I don't feel unattractive in l A, I feel fat And in Charlotte, UM think,

l A, I'm the fat girl? Why are you? I was like this this, you know what it's like that girl, like that girl when she walked in, I was like, oh no, no, she's to toe like just bomb, thank you friend. But see it is women we look at each other like that. How are the men saying? I feel like they're starting to, Like, I feel like there's men that really do appreciate us like I will not. I can't say, like a lot of black men are right, It's like there's something that you know that are just

like ill black women whatever. But there's some that will genuinely appreciate a beautiful black woman. But of course it's like fighting. It's like a needle in a haystack. Because I feel that didn't you have somebody say something real disparaging about you? Tammy recently from another podcast, who's actually on this network kind of in in partnership, Cassie, Yeah, so is this guy? And I thought he was taking some interest in me honestly, and he says he's not

interested in dating unless the woman looks like Cassie. And I was so offended by the delusion when people say stuff like that, like I just want them to like, you know, I want to pop that little delusional bubble and like bring them back to reality because it be the most basic face looking niggad that says it. Who is a girl like that want you? Who says like who? How do we know? Like what if you don't want you don't have exactly. I don't think men consider that.

They think if they like you, you automatically like them, as if women don't have the right to have preference. It's delusion, Yes, it's but we're the ones that need to bring it down and not really men are way more shallow than women. And you can all people argue with me about that ship all the time, but you're not going to catch a fine ass dude with an

ugly woman. I mean, I know women date men for different things, different reasons, but you can always catch a fine ass woman with a nigga who's challenged in the face because that money whatever else. No, I know, like, there's this girl and she was very this person but she was aesthetically challenged, That's what I'll say. And she had this fine asked man I'm talking about he was gorgeous,

and I'm like, that's some boy funck. I mean, she has this popping on her face while you're talking, kind of girl like like, Oh, that's what I go for. I'd be going for personality. No, I found out what it was because she has adult personality. But she was tricking. She was big, tricking on she was big, y'all. Remember that this went viral on social media. But and this goes outside of the colorism discussion, but remember it was a girl. She was like, um, men date big women,

like when they don't have their ship together. You don't remember that podcast there was a woman saying it. It was a woman saying because the bigger women I get, I don't know, they may take care of men, and that might be a thing, just the same way why I think some black men go to white women to be taken care of, but not it has to be a big woman with low self esteem because I know some Listen, I got mine many times. That's where I got my ex is always cheating with a big bitch

and like big pretty bitches. It got to the point where I would be in target. I'm seeing a big, light skinned pretty girl, and I'm like, I'm mad at

her because I know my nigga. Fuck Like, I'm mad, I'm holding grudges against somebody who don't even know me nor my man, but because he'd be cheating on me with these big bitches, Like, I'm like mad, So I disagree with that, lady, because you know, it just depends on preference, you know, I like, I like, I genuinely fall in love with people for their personality and their soul, Like I like, you know, like if you are a good man and you have a good heart and you

are family oriented, I will give you a chance. But see, that's that's women. Women be like, he grew on me. You ain't never nigga saying she grew on him. Women do that. Men do not do that. They're bit he liked her from the first Women, men definitely, uh are more visual characters and more visual Women date men for different things, you know, not just looks. That's not at the top of our list. But me as a woman

with no children, and y'all should also consider this. I had a middle school teacher tell me that, you know, if you ugly, you're gonna have a hard time in life. He really told us that in middle school. And we also know what colorism, uh, socialism, all those things. We have pretty privilege right now. I'm not saying I need the finest man out here, right but I also don't want my children to be super aesthetically challenged because I

love the nigger aesthetically challenging this term. I'm sorry somebody left the left the uh A remark on um the show because I said, you know, I like to hang around pretty women. I know y'all, y'all have been around not so cute women are usually the ones that's the maddest when you join all the funship a lot of times you know, in the group. So just to keep down on that, like what I mean. And also again it's in the eye of the beholder. Like my friend could very well, I could be ugly to a lot

of people. My friend could be ugly to people, But to me, these bitches is fine. So that's this is what I meant by that. But we're not gonna act like pretty privileged doesn't It doesn't exist, It really does. I went to the courthouse with a pillow in my pocket the other day and I forgot and I did not go to jail. And I did not go to jail, y'all. I did not go to jail. I was supposed to be locked. The man asked me, the police asked me for my phone number and told me to go back

to my car. Stupid, he said, take that gun back to your car. Stupid. But I did not know pretty. I'm growing up. I didn't think I ever had a pretty privilege, like like at all. Like I've seen it work for like again, lighter skinning girls and everything, but I never, like I said, I never thought I was ugly. But I never thought I met the standards of beauty

out here, you know what I mean? Growing now, Like when I get like when people heap me up and be like you're so beautiful, it's not like it's so hard for me to like read it sometimes because like I was never told that growing up from my parents, YE have se you know, family, but like from society,

I was never told that. I was told, you got a big nose, your eyes are far apart, your lips are too big, you're you're you're you're not thin, you're you're thicker, like you know, so pretty privilege is real, but I never I felt like I never experienced pretty privilege living in l A until I've gotten older. And

I think pretty privilege also starts from within. When I started believing that I was it like I was bad that I was before I carried myself with that confidence, I started that like other people started looking at me with it like the same way. But it's hard to develop that confidence when you're around people that don't look like you and are praised for looking the way they do, and you are basically look down for making the way you look. It's nothing you about it at such a

young age, you know, so pretty for real. But I feel like it also stems from inside. If you believe that you are like the baddest and you carry yourself with that utmost confidence and you walk into the room even if you look a mess, if you believe that you are bad people in that same energy, you know, I five, you know, yeah, confidence is your best that you carry. Really it is, even even if you're faking it.

Take that smile to make it. And I always tell people like another female, like people will not see me sweat out here, like you're not. No girl can get under my skin. I'll cry a house. Listen, I'll crying my bed. But when I'm outside you you can't catch me like do not because people take that as weakness and I am not awake. You know period, you know period,

you will not treat me as such. Yeah, so that I mean, but that attitude takes developing, right, So we're talking about like things that happened as a child, like yeah, like that that built this now this beautiful woman, this character that that exudes all as bad bitches. Um okay, I don't know how we fight that though. For the younger girls, I don't know. He started. We start telling them at a young age that they are it, they are beautiful. We start letting. We start getting them dolls

that look like them. That's what my father, my dad would get me, black dolls. My dad is my that is my best friend. I love him to pieces. But we start and we started showing more representation. We start showing them role model. So growing up, my father would always show me condolesa rice and he would be like this woman just out of that, she's been she's a government, she's just you. You can be like that. You can you can be powerful? You know? And I started, you know,

like I'm hearing it from my father. This is somebody I love dearly, this is somebody I look up to. So when we start feeding it to them at a young agent, and even in schools, making sure that they see teachers that look like them, they see doctors, that's how we start getting the confidence up, because when you're not seeing people like I was. For example, my university, we have a thirty percent dropout rate by second semester for African American students. And when I asked some of

these people like why are you leaving? One with money? Financial too, is like I don't feel like I belonged here, Like what's the point of me doing this? There's nobody. There's no teachers that look like me. There's there's nobody. And I was like, well, that's why you're here, so you can create that for the next generation. I don't know what school it was or was it in the Midwest, but the black they started a black step group. Did

you see that? It was USC So it's a lot of controversy surrounding that because it's like, why don't you just go to an HBCU, right as opposed to bring in HBCU culture to a p W. I I wanted to go to the hbc U I did. I wanted to go to Howard because my father went to Howard UM. But then at the same time, I didn't want to go to Howard because I got bullied a lot from you know, by black people, and I was just like, I was scared. I was like, if I go, what

if I'm not accepted. And I was accepted more by, like I said, my white peers. So I was just like, yo, I'm just gonna I mean, if I experienced racism here, it's like I can handle that. I can't. I feel like I'm too scared to handle rejection from my own people. I can't because I wouldn't even know how to fight that. Like I would just be like how do I can't change myself, Like this is what it is. And it may not have been like that if I actually want it may not be like that at all, but I

already had that instilled in my head. Yeah, the values within the black man in America, they just have to change. It's like not cool to be smart, right, It's not cool to have not grown up in the hood. Um, I used to get teased. Not well, nobody could ever tease me because I got an hour at the stand up comedy for anybody. And that's been since first grade. But I remember being on the school bus when our

bus started picking up a neighborhood across the street. They would be in the back of the bus like, y'all don't even got no trash on your street? Like what you're talking ship to us, because we don't have trash on our streets. And you know, you can live in the hood, it doesn't have to look like it though. You can live in a hood and then you still take care of your community. That's what it balls down to. Who cares that it's low income? It doesn't have to

look like low income. And that's just something that we have to work on as a collective in America because we don't. We don't. We don't, uh, black and Black Americans don't have enough pride. I think we don't have enough pride in being black. We say we do, but we don't have enough. We say it, but it is

it actually exuded, you know, physically exactly black lives. Yeah, because you know, why why does a student come from Africa and then because I hear this, I have other friends that are also African and they have the same stories, like, you know, they grew up hanging out with the white kids because they were teased by the black kids, you know.

And now as adults we could kind of flip that a little bit and say, hey, they come up with all type of words from Black Americans African adults, right, so now it's kind of like it's cool to be from Africa. Now, put you the chiky on to go watch Black Panther and ship like that. But you tease kids, you know, when you were younger. So I mean, it's it's a part of a growing um just people. Um, it's it's a lot of self hate. Ship. We just have to work through and it and it's the things

that you were taught. Because I ain't gonna lie. When I was a little kid, I never did. I never ever did it. But we it would be back and forth. It wouldn't be just me. Yeah, it would be like they talking ship too, you know, and it was like different ship that I didn't understand. And that's why I did. Like because I walked into they were they had came they were washing their feet in the sink at school, and being a black American, I had never seen that.

So I was like, bitch, get your foot out the sint. But I didn't know what. You know, it was part of their culture. I don't know what why they were doing it. And I do remember like saying, bitch, get your foot out the saint. I'm sorry I remember saying that.

But so I can't understand where why someone would grow up as an African in America and be like y'all, it's like I get it sometimes when like the Africans are like you know, A B and C. I get it and like because like you know, we've all dealt with well as an African child, like we all dealt with some type of discrimination because we are African. Um. But again, Africana Studies has opened my eyes a little bit and people be like, oh, Nigerian's or Africans think

they're better than us. We're not. We don't think we're better, but just prideful people because imagine and coming here and then getting bullied and ridiculed by everybody by some random bits talking about why you're fooding. We just have so much pride within ourselves and we love our culture and we love ourselves so much that you can't break us down. So we have we we we are very prideful people,

you know. And like if I'll tell anybody, I'm proud to be a Nigerian, Like there's there's I love that about myself. So like when I see people say like, oh, Africans are they think they're better, It's like, no, we don't think we're better. We we are just proud. We're very prideful people because when our parents came here and they were knocked down, When we go to school and we're bullied, we can't just break. There's none of there's none of that breaking in an African household. There's none

of that. If I tell my mom my dad this guy called me ugly, my dad would looking at my face, but like are you ugly? And that's it. That is the end of it. There's no going to school, there's no going teacher, there's none of that. Like you gotta tough en up. So it's I'm glad that you know you talked about it, like how you used to be the one to make um talk, to make fun of the Africans. Because the step, the first step to healing is not which man and like understanding. So like I,

like I said, I've been bullying. I was president of b as she in high school, the black I was impeached because I wasn't black enough. What is black enough? So hold on what? Yeah, because I want to hear what did they say that we're not really black? So you couldn't identify? You do not with what it was to be black Americans? Yes, exactly there, like you don't understand us, so why should you be the president of

black student union? And that broke me because people got that like we gotta let that hate and that hurt go. That's all it is. They're just a lot of hurt. But I was never did it. I was never. I was I was never because the way my father raised me is to love everyone. My dad went to Howard University. He's a Nigerian man. If you if you ever meet this man, six something, dark skinned African man, Nigerian accent everything.

But he always told me he was like I dealt with the same thing, but we can't be angry because they just don't know and some people have different you know, you know, perspective on that. But that tell my father raised me and my mother you know, so, yeah, are your parents? Are you asking? You trying to get at her daddy? Look it's been Look I'm literally over here calculating I had an abortion as this team, this bitch could have been my child. I could definitely funk with

her daddy. Like I'm literally calculating out in my mind. I'm sorry, fraid I wasn't a girl. I ain't trying to funk your daddy. I don't know what people man who married a you're about woman, brought her to l A and gave her house, gave her the kids. Yes, that's beautiful. And see that's why you have the mindset that you have. You come from a two parent household. I just really feel like that's so important that we grow. We raised our children in it too. That's another thing

that's not more valued. We're trying. We're trying to get there. That's why it's hard. Dating is hard, Like it's because in my head, like the way my father treated my mother is that's that's what I look for, Like not reminded me of my father, the way the effort he put into my mom is not going to work. Only because I see that that type of love exists. I want it. I want my kids happy mommy and daddy like in love and at your parent household my dad

taking me to soccer practice. I went to private school, like I want that life for my kids. That's where I had growing up, you know, And it makes dating very difficult sometimes because sometimes people don't see that. You know, they don't have that connection, but they don't see that type of mindset that I have. Like I'm in school for my master's. Right when I graduated high school my bachelor's. My mom looked at me, was like, okay, so you

graduated high school with the bachelors. No, no, I went I got I'm my graduated high school and I got my bachelor's in Kinesi and that. They were like, that's basically going to elementary. I'm almost like okay, and then now I'm doing my my masters and my mom was like, okay, maybe we'll throw your party this time. Maybe like maybe, but like I come, but when you get your pH d.

That's why I don't think I'm doing that one. I had to I just sit my parents down break the news to them because this master's okay yeah, Because Nigerian parents are like, you need to be a doctor, engineer, a lawyer or something like that. That that broke my mom's heart, me even me telling everyone. I mean, like I said, I'm talking to someone. But if I told her like I wasn't gonna marry Nigerian, she would have a heart attack, a real my heart attack. So let's

get into that. Are you dating and Nigerian? Now? Like, because when we met, you was like, I'm single and fun like me to a girl. Let's talk about it. Um Nigerian? Okay, yeah, he's Nigerian and where'd you meet? Um? I've known him for a long time. And then um, we just didn't talk for a while, and then we started talking back up. And then it was just like we just jeld really well, and how y'all started talking

back up. I don't really check who watches my stories like that, because you know, there's always a lot of people that watches my stories. And then one day I was just seeing watched my stories and I saw his name pop up. I was like, I haven't seen him in a while, Like how is he doing? Just to check up on him. Then I want his page and I was like, oh, he's I forgot how cute he goes? I was like, is he is? He? Is he single? Because he's you know, he's good looking, he's tall, you know,

so I just hit him up. I was like hey, hey, you know and then I was like real quick question straight to it. Are you single? And then he told me yeah, and then he was like the period, let's be good like you single to let's get this and then yeah and just so yeah, long story short, I'm I'm talking from So are there like is it a large community of Africans in l A? Because that was

my question when when dam told me he's not. Oh you said that, So this guy is not in l A. So okay, so it would have been impossible for you to find it's gonna it's impossible for you to find your mate in l A at this point. It's what you're saying. I just feel like my I just feel like I can't where he don't want to like the Atlanta Okay, Oh that's good. Listen. I went on a date with a Nigerian man when I first moved to Atlanta years ago. I'm literally on a date with a man.

You'll hear that part right. A man invited me out planning the place. I'm literally on a date with a man that says Atlanta is no place to find a mate. That's what he told me on a date. So I'm like, why the funk are we out? So the man you were actually on a date with said exactly holiday at

me in the club. That's how we ended up here, right, And you're telling me And we're still good friends, Like we talked periodically, so this is a long ast time ago, but we still But he's still not married, still having no kids. You know what I really feel like they're like when I meet a man and I was like, where are you from, they'd be like, that's why I asked where he was from, just to make sure he

wasn't in Atlanta. So he'll say, you might do well, you might do well, you know I I guess he's Nigerian. Would be the first Nigerian guy actually, Like, you might move to I want gonna move to Houston. Yeah, and you've been in l A your whole life. Time for a change. Yeah, that's take a chance. I don't know, Oh, come in to America home. Sorry to get your want that for you? I want that for me too. But you know, we'll see. It's great because he's Ebo like

my dad. So people men be taking the otherwise. So all right, For do you have any advice for women in l A trying to meet a black man? What would you say? What advice would you give him? Just be ready, don't like, just have your confidence of because it's like you know how they say, like if you go to a casting call, you're gonna get a whole bunch of nose before you get a yes. The same thing. Just be ready to be ready to hear I don't

date black women. Just be ready to hear some nonsense of like or I think one guy said, oh, I like your skin tone. Where do you from? I said, I'm Nigerian. He's like, that's why you're that color. I'm like, sir, like what are you talking about? What are you even talking about? So I just get ready for ignorant statements. And also don't be afraid to put your foot down and say no if you don't accept someone to treat

you a certain way, because they will try it. And I mean I'm not just saying black men will try it. Everybody will try it, but it's gonna we're gonna feel it more because it's coming from us, you know, what I mean. So I I guess my my advice would be like just make sure your confidences of and never let your crown tilt because l A is not it's not for the week. I said, it's really for the week. So insecure is a big facade right used to raise insecure.

There's really like no black black relationships and okay, they're all they probably came together, maybe not, or they imported somebody from someplace else. It's well like if you're like me and you don't date l A guys, maybe but like they're they're they're they're there, but like I'm just same. Majority of the time, you do see a lot more black with somebody else. Interesting. Yeah, well it be an eight percent of the population out there. It's kind of hard.

You're gonna almost have to date outside of your race and too, Like, trust me, I've been through my my fair share of like my my my home. Girls will tell your horror stories, you know, oh really, Well, we have a segment on this show called dumb Bitch Stories. Dumb Bitch Stories because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice, and it's pretty much kind of like given your horror story with dating, like where someone tried to play you or a time you know

you just wasn't treated fairly. Can you share one of those stories of us? M LORDI what do I want to So? I mean I could tell a little story. There's one time. Well I'm a very I like to give, I like to help people. I'm not gonna go too much into details about this because it's still embarrassing and still burns my soul. And um, like I said, I was raising household where money you give money because money comes and goes like it was never like you know,

we were on our last dollar. You know, I didn't have to work a lot in my life because my dad paid for everything. So it's one dude needed help. And I don't like to loan money because I hate asking for my money back. It's the most uncomfortable thing for me. So then you know, I gave him some money when he asked me again for some money, gave him some more money because he kept he kept saying he needed help. And then he goes to me after

he'd like to come the money. And then I'm still testing, like hey, are you I'm still trying to be nice to this person like I'm still trying to hey, are you okay? How are you doing? Are you all? Is everything all good? Blah blah blah blah blah. And when I don't want to talk about them when because the amount tell us how much your Your daddy ain't going to mom if oh, if they ever watched this, I'm sorry dad. They're gonna tell me I to appreciate money.

That's what they're gonna tell me about in total, even things like upers and stuff that I've spent. Okay, that's not too bad. I just say too bad to two bands like nah, bro, you need to run that two bands back, like I need that. I don't know how I'm gonna find him. Tell him right now, you don't get that money back? Girls and nigga me right now, girl, tell him right now that he'd be like posting on

Instagram and stuff. And then I'm still trying to be nice, Like that's the crazy thing, like I'm still trying to, hey you good, just checking up on you. I just feel like somebody move more on my forehead. Move by the way in um my life, just so they just won't move on my forehead, like dummy, was this some one you were and no again, I don't know. I was trying to get to know him, like I was trying to, like, you know, like hopefully like see where it goes. And um, yeah he showed me. He really,

he took a verriage of my nice sense. Just um. And then here comes somebody that you might really like, that might need some help, and now you don't want to help them because you've already been burned by this person. It's absolutely dead. Unless I see a paycheck coming into your every week, it's dead. Like, don't don't ask me for it unless you are my man, like we are locked in. Yeah, you probably shouldn't give people money who you've never seen with money, you know what I'm saying.

They were acting like they had it though, Like that's the thing they you know that, what's the tinder swindler? Yeah, I see what you're saying. M m. Yeah, Like he made it seem like he was good. So like when he needed help, I was like, all right, I'll just get my money back. Yeah. Well it took you two him. It could have been worse, could have gotten claim media and you gotta you got a life lesson early Yeah, I mean out with the old Houston. Every tell everybody

where they can find you. Plug anything you want to plug less not so, you guys can find me on Instagram at a fete Egan which is e f e t I E g u n. Or you can find me on TikTok same name e f e T I'm e g u n. And that's that's where were But Instagram, that's that's where. That's where I be at mostly. So yes, y'all, she's a beautiful y'all go follow her and she posts a lot of funny like you posted a video as a man. Oh yeah, yeah, that that was a video.

I'm trying to get back into my comedic side, you know, but I feel like my sense of humor is not for everybody. I'm a little bit dark, just a little well that's for some people too, you know. I like a little dark humor every now you can laugh at ourselves. It's just like you know, all right, y'all listen. So if you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on the I Heart Radio Apple wherever the fun you get your podcast that this is your co host a

j Holiday two points. Oh, y'all follow me on instagrams alograms, what's up, Tam, y'all Follow me too on Instagram official Tam BAM. I love y'all, Thank y'all for tuning in, and we'll see y'all motherfucker's next time. Remember to speak now and never hold your piece