Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeart Radio and the Black Effect Network Talk.
You're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.
Well, what's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of We Talked Back, a show dedicated to your dreamers and chasers. This is your co host, A J. Holiday. What's up, Big Tim BM.
Hey, y'all. I fucking love y'all. I'm so sick of being disabled. I really am, you know what. Shout out to all the people who are handling disabilities and taking it in stride. I love y'all. Y'all are resilient, and I'm so proud of y'all because I'm suffering right now. I'm not doing a good job at it. I'm getting fatter. I'm getting fatter, an excuse now to be fat. I'm all fat and sassy.
You ain't fat, y'all pleasantly plump. Okay, all right, you'll get it off.
I'm going to get this second chin removed this month. I don't care. I'm just gonna go do it. I ain't paying no rent money. I'm just gonna go ahead and get this double chance. So when y'all see the next recording, and y'all see me bandaged, jump about the face. Don't ask no questions.
I got a new chin and maya motherfucking business.
How was your weekend?
Girl? I literally did not leave the house on Saturday, had all intentions to do do so, but I didn't. I finished the last couple episodes of Hands Made Tale about to come out, right, Yeah, they're working on it now. Apparently they started recording. They started filming this month September, so I guess sometime next year we can expect the
season six. But I can't wait, bitch. I just knew that motherfucker Serena was gonna be in the back of that plane wait for me, in the back of that train for June when June they finally was trying to escape out of Canada. It is just it's a bit much, man.
I'm not watching it. I watched Reasonable Doubt. That's my ship right now.
So I've been hearing about that. So I can I learn something from that shoulder?
No, not really.
See I'll be like a shit that got like low hidden like this. This made me feel like this in real life. Shit, you know what I'm saying.
Like me. I feel like if you feel like you can learn from Handsmaid's tales, then you probably can learn from reasonable doubts.
How though, are they alike?
No, they're not alike. But I don't see what you're learning from handsmaid stale.
Okay, Hey, look man, I'm out of the business of debating people's perspective.
There's no debate. That's what I'm just saying. Just try the show and see if you like it.
Is watching that and something else? Tell me, Lie, I've even watching it. Yeah, it's is that I've been hearing about telling me lies and reasonable doubt.
I oh, yeah, reasonable doubt is good. And then I watched the Baylor in Colorado game over the weekend. That's how you know a bitchally fucked up. I'm mean here watching football, but that shit was actually no. I wasn't bet and I was just it was on, and then it actually started getting good to me, and I was like, oh, this is actually entertaining.
Who knew, y'all. It's September twenty third, twenty twenty four, and my prediction is that the Baltimore Ravens will be going to the Super Bowl. I may, I know, it may not look like it right now for you know, Ravens fans or people who aren't fans. I'm not necessarily a fan, but I had a premonition that they will be going to the super Bowl this year, so I might go ahead and put a couple hundred dollars on that. I feel very strongly about it for some reason.
Well, I guess we're gonna see y'all mark this date until aj she's psychic or she was completely dead wrong.
Psychic got delusions line. And so Saturday, oh that was Saturday nothing. And then Sunday I did go off to dinner at least a very very nice I don't even know if it's a new restaurant in Charleston. It's called a Select. I was pleasantly surprised. It was so good, like I always be pumping up my city. We got some of the best food out this bitch.
And it was date night. No.
I actually hung out with my homegirl and one of her friends, one of her guy friends. I just met them out. She wanted to get outside a little bit, just to do something.
We got on the grill Sunday and my mama's well, I didn't get on shit. I just sat on the couch because I can't do shit.
But we had off the grill. You ad off the grill.
Yeah, I ate off the grill and that was it. I can't do it. I can't wait for this. I don't even know if I'm going to Homecoming no more, because I'm looking at the math of the doctor. The doctor said four more weeks on this, on this scooter and the crutch. So I'm coming this October one, twenty six, So we'll see.
That's a month from now.
Yeah, the seventeenth, I'll be able to walk on the boot, but I still have them on the boot. Who aren't trying to walk on a boot in the Homecoming? Girl?
You that press right?
So we'll see what happened. I don't know.
We'll see how I feel by then, please don't okay there with.
One of my homeboys, he was like always, you know, my little cousin loved your show, and I send me the link so I can listen to some episodes. So I sent him the link and he was like, I was like, what do you think? And he was like, I don't think that's what I was like, No, tell me, really, what do you think? He was like, I just felt like I was listening to my mama and my auntie conversation. Like I picked up the phone and I was just listening there.
Now, so we saw like Mama's and aunties. I mean, I feel like that's on brand.
Note. I was about writing to me, let's get innocence, Didy Diddy, Diddy Diddy? Did he do it?
Did he not? Shah?
He did that?
Sit So last week we reported, not reported because we ate reporters. Okay, so last week we talked about did he prior to the actual charges coming out? So now this week and the charges actually came out later in the day last week. So so he's been arrested on charges of racketeering, conspiracy, and sex trafficking. He did plead not guilty on Tuesday and was ordered to remain in custom until his federal trial in New York. So now he's since been moved to Nork, New Jersey Prison, federal prison.
Did he has been trying to forfeit everything he fucking owns to get a bail and they have denied him now bond twice. He tried to put up his well, he actually put up his house, his mom's house, offered to turn in his passport, also kids passports, and the
judge an in't budget. Now, I feel like everybody deserves to have bond, you know what I'm saying, Like, even though we know they gonna give you a crazy as bot just because they don't want you to get out, but because he has the means to get out, They're like, no, But we know other men in the similar situation have been given bond in the past so they can prepare, get their affairs together and shit like that. This is Diddy. Why did he can't get a bond? Did he a real terrorist?
For real? It looks like it seems it's a lot of people who have come out against him, you know, like they're coming out of the woodworks. Yeah.
So. Damon Williams, the US Attorney for the Southern District of New York who brought the indictment, was vague when asked whether Didy or others would face more charges. Now I know. I think they also put like some drug charges on him too, Narcotics, the illicit drugs that he supports. He had at these allegedly had at these uh freak offs for him and guests. Apparently some of these guests
must have been there against their free will. It says multiple witnesses who have worked with Combs have been meeting with prosecutors. A source familiar with the federal investigation told CNN at least one male sex worker is expected to testify in front of the grand jury in a couple of days, according to the source, who added, the witnesses allegations go beyond the details in this week's indictment, So
we're gonna be hearing some more shit, Okay. Apparently he got like fifty victims and witnesses, over fifty victims and witnesses in this.
Case, fifty victims and witnesses in trouble. Yeah, he's very much in trouble.
He's in trouble. And on top of that, son, they're saying Kim not.
So.
I don't know if y'all know Sloan Bella off YouTube she's a psychic. So before all this should even happened last year, I want to say, like maybe around like January last year, February she put out an initial video. She's been doing this for years, but she didn't get like piped up until last year. When did he actually the when Cassie actually put her civil suit out there? Like that. When that became public, that's when people got onto Sloan Bella. But she had predicted this months prior.
She really did all of this everything. Even this year, she put out a video like round February she said, by Easter, some more shit was gonna be happening with Diddy, and it's gonna be other men that go down with him. They raided his house in April. She said, Easter is it's gonna be like an Easter egg hunt type shit. This is how she was saying it on her show, because I've been locked in since last year, like who the fuck this is right up my alley. So yeah,
she's predicted all of the things. You know, maybe she's an agent, I don't know, and maybe she could be the real thing, and she gets information from the cosmos. Who knows, right, but Diddy asses in fucking trouble. But one thing Sloan Bella did say is how she was getting this information from Kim Peter from the other side. So she's like, Kim ain't fucking around with Diddy. She's gonna get his ass from the other side. She couldn't do it from this side, but so she's doing the
work from the other side. So on Friday, September twentieth, Daily Mail reported that a sixty page book called Kim's Lost Words was recently published were quietly published on September sixth by Los Angeles based publisher Chris Todd and written by Jamal T. Millwood. The unauthorized book, which is currently for sale on Amazon, is allegedly comprised of Porter's diary entries kept during her time with Puff and reportedly the details instances of shocking abuse she experienced at the Disgrace
Mogul's hand. We don't know if it's true or not. There's been people like I'll be sure, and then Camp Porter's best friend who's come out and said, like this is some bullshit. She never wrote a memoir. That's never happened, But Sloan Bella says she did give a cell phone with some stuff to some people. Somebody does have something she was keeping tabs.
All in all, I feel really really bad for those girls. I feel so bad for those girls. I know they are embarrassed and shamed, humiliated. You never know what those poor babies are feeling, so I just keep them lifted in prayer. You know, it's three three four girls, he got right. One one is too young to understand what's going on, but the other three are probably greatly affected by this publicly public humiliation.
And then like the camp Porter kids, like even the oldest, not the oldest, the other little girl or third girl, she is just like maybe a year older than the twins, but.
You're younger.
She just went to she just went to prom with what's her name?
Yeah, so a year younger than the twins. The twins are older than her.
The twins are seventeen. I thought she was older than them. Well anyway, either way, they're still all kids. Yeah, young young girls, And I don't think anybody's like we think about them, but I don't know. I think about in the morning, I think about what the hell is gonna happen with diddy ass. I just hope that they have a strong support system in place for them as well for their mental health. And it's time. Yeah, yep, all.
Right, So Andrew Schultz is under fire. So there's a clip with James and fo Hide. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right, host of the Shits and Gigs.
Shits and Gigs, Shits and Gigs podcasts.
They bring up the viral trend that has been claiming their looks upgraded after dating or getting married to a black woman, which Schultz seem to invest it to know about. So you see a guy who has had a black girlfriend, all of a sudden, he's got a buzz cut, a clean shape out out, a clean shape.
Who wrote this shit, Well, he's daring from Europe, so he probably did say shape out, yo.
You know, let me your blokes condition, and y'all know y'all don't be getting y'all hair shaped up as often, and let's all right anyway, So shape out. Dunking toe Shultz, while trying to explain ir response, Shots, said they shaved their hair because they started losing it because it's so stressed being around black girl complaining about shit all the fucking time. James and Foo High continue to laugh at
shots at it. They grow their beer because they need a cushion when they get slapped the fuck out of social media users begin dragon James and food High for not defending black women in that moment. As a black woman, the stuff Injury was saying about the black girlfriend effect was racist. He made it completely about the angry black
woman in trope can we not rest and upset? YouTuber YouTube user commented another person directed their rais shows by posting the fact that you so comfortably talked the way you did with two black men present only makes me shudder to think you say what you say when black people are not present. Damn, I'm reading like you girl.
Fuck you, you know you're reading like you. Listen, here's the thing. We all talked shit about other races and confidence with our friends. Okay, let's be very clear. Everybody can be considered a little prejudiced, borderline or artist, Okay, whatever. I don't think that's Andrew.
Schultz like racist. I don't absolutely not my personally.
Absolutely not. He just talking shit and look what it did. It went fucking viral.
He talks about like the thing is everybody. He's an equal opportunitist shit talker, and I had I can't like. I laugh at him talking about handicapped people. I've laughed at him talking about Armenian people. I've laughed at him talking about white people. Now, I can't beget sensitive when they when it's my turn. You know, That's how I feel about Andrew. If he was just like always on
a black bitch neck then all right, motherfucker relax. But because I know he's a comedian and he's equal opportunists, I don't give it. I don't give it too much energy.
And I'm curious to know if he's made in these comments and to Charlemagne before, like they have any have they had any moments where he might have said said these kind of kind of jokes to Charlemagne.
Oh absolutely, if you watch, they're show brilliant idiots. Charmaine always says it's only a matter of time before they get says.
I listen, I am not easily offended for real, because we on the internet from one or y'all like y'all have y'all as saying the things like, I'm not easily offended by the jokes because that's what comedians do. They push the fucking line. So I'm not into police and comedians.
I thought it was funny as hell, because guess what, Stereotypes really come from a real place sometimes, and people actually observe behavior of other groups of people, right you know, So maybe this is true for those two black men that were in the room. Maybe they done got slapped and they beard before by an angry black woman.
Maybe but that don't mean and you can't get slapped, that's what exactly.
And let's not talk about white mama's okay, and not manipulate the whole goddamn family. Okay, we don't. Y'all don't want us to go there about white women, and maybe we'll do a whole comedy hour on them, which it can be done exactly on anybody, honestly pick apart stereotypes of all people and make some jokes about it. Right, Yeah, but we're not giving you no whole We give you a little past because we know you, and we know you.
I don't believe at all that he's a racist person.
We call white women Karen's and Becky's. We do that on a daily like we we really like comedians talk shit and they say cracker. We say cracker loud and proud on this podcast.
You say that, say you.
Absolutely have said cracker on We talked Back.
With a slice of cheese on it because I would like a target commercial.
Yeah. Like, so everybody has said something like, don't be a hypocrite. Okay, don't be a hypocrite. I'm not mad and Andrew I like, he ain't gonna get canceled, just yeah, because I be down to cancel motherfucking out.
But he's still good.
In my book.
He's still okay in my book too. I ain't man, all right, what happened with y'all?
Y'all need to stop playing with Jenna Jackson. That's what happened with jan and Jackson. Listen, And I've been putting in comments anytime I see something by Janet, like I will throw hands about Janet and Whitney Houston, Like they don't even got to ask me. It's just real life. Like as soon as I see something about them, like,
you've literally tapped me in. So Janet Jackson was being interviewed Saturday, and the interviewer asked her, you know, what does she think about Kamala Harris possibly being the first female black president, and Janna Jackson responded to the question by saying, she's not black. That's what I heard. I heard that she's Indian. When the interviewer interjected, saying that Harris is both the singer wrongly this is what this
article says. It's not what I'm saying, right. They're saying that the singer wrongly claimed the vice president's father was white. I was told that they discovered her father was The singer also said that either way the election swings, it is going to be mayhem. I agree at this point. I don't think it matters if Trump is elected or
Kamala Harris. I think we in trouble regardless. So on Sunday, El Misery L Misery, who claimed to be Jackson's manager, told multiple outlets including Deadline People, Washington Post, and Variety, that the singer recognized her original stations statements were based
on misinformation and she apologizes for any confusion cause. According to BuzzFeed, which first reported El mystery Is comments on Sunday, he is as credit as credited as producer on her upcoming documentary, and has been cited as Jackson's manager in several previous stories about her and other outlets. Jackson's team, however, clarified later on Sunday night that the apology was made by someone who was not her manager and was not
authorized to speaking on her behalf. So this person was working with Janet Jackson, But then you put a false statement out saying that Janet Jackson apologized. So this is Janet doubling down, like I would.
This person do that why would they put out something that Janet didn't say.
Because Janet was being attacked online. So I guess as a publicist, as a manager, I don't know. I guess it was them in their minds putting out a fire. But you know, this is a case of I said what I said, and it's really not a situation where you need to be apologizing. I don't think it is. Yeah, you know, I don't think it is. I mean, Kamala Harris has been an Indian American her entire time in politics. She's been a politician for twenty plus years black and
I keep saying this, it is a culture. I don't think that she necesscessarily identified as a Black American up until now, and I don't and she really hasn't herself. I think Black Americans are bringing her in like this is a black woman. I don't think she still has. I mean, yes, she did pledge AKA and she went to a black HBCU, But we can't force people to identify like we do. Not everybody has to identify as black.
But if this is the basis of what people are voting for because she's a black woman, then maybe people would like to hear from her like, hey, what do you consider yourself?
Yeah?
Yeah, so Jenny Jackson said, she did not apologize, and I don't like Again, I don't think it's a situation where apology is warranted, like for what, I don't think? So anyway, what do you think about it?
I don't. I don't think about it. It doesn't matter who gives Honestly, who gives a fuck about this what Janet Jackson said to about Kamala Like, anytime I'm thinking of our politics, I don't be. I don't go to celebrity Janna Jackson things right, the world is an uproar. Somebody get Jana Jackson on the line. It's never you know what I think about it.
But that's a disrespect black people get right. They go to our celebrities to see what we stand on things instead of going to real You know, we have some very great intellectuals in the black community who know what's going on with politics, who can speak to it more than any any I want to say, Comedian child, any celebrities, So why not engage those people?
You know?
They never do so I feel like it's always a slight when we all start talking about celebrities and politics. I swear mm hmm. Just be prepared, That's all I can say. Be prepared for whatever the outcome.
That's all you can be. M So, if y'all were free this weekend, you probably saw where Tamari spoke on her and her sister, her twin tamar Or not being closed and the video was kind of sad. She was saying that, uh, they aren't as close as they once were. A source close to the matter spoke out about the twins' current dynamic following the release of a first look teaser for TIA's new reality series, which sparked concern among fans because it featured a quote from her that suggested the
siblings had grown apart. The sisters are close, to insider e told September twenty first, but the quote being referenced was about their physical location. Timura lives in Napa and Tia lives in Los Angeles. Dang. What she was saying was it.
Oh, maybe they trying to clean it up now, Yeah, it says On that teaser with WEE TV's Tiamaori My Next Act, released September twentieth, Tia said, and a confessional being alone has been the most challenging part of my divorce. It's times like this when I feel in whish that my sister and I were were still close and I could pick up the phone and call her. They not talk about geography.
Okay, not talking about geography.
But that's just not where we are right now. So yeah, they are not in the same city and they are not on speaking terms, is what I'm hearing or what I'm reading. However, she did give Tamara a shout out on social media the day the promo was released. Girl Girl, call your sister.
Yeah, that was a cry for love from her, you know. I mean, that's her twin sister. They came out to pussy the same time, like they should be locked in more than anybody else, you know, But you don't.
Never you never know what goes on between people, right and for you to get on like you had a show coming out, right And if this is how this is, this is not how you get back with somebody you love. You know what I'm saying by telling the work, because nobody knew that they weren't good until now.
But maybe this might help them be good.
I think for me, if somebody, let's say, for instance, we're not speaking about because of some shit that you possibly did right the other person possibly didn't. We're not speaking. That is not how to get back with me, you know, by publicly telling people that we got a problem, because obviously I've never spoken on whatever problem we have publicly, and especially if you somebody like my sister, call me, because if we're not in the same space while you
do this thing now, it leads people to speculate. I just don't like speculation. I like to get ahead of things and maybe put the put the right stuff out there the first time, because what.
Let's not It seemed very heartfelt, It didn't seem like manipulative, and it definitely brought people to the show. Maybe America come on there and it'll be a check for her too, because.
She working but we don't know if she's working off because it used to be on on the real which ended what two years ago?
Now, Oh that I thought that was the one that was married.
To everybody could be confused about who's who? Know, the one was married to? The white guy? Is who was on the reel? That's that's Tamara, Yeah, and Tia Mawy her husband was just in that what's the movie divorce in black divorcing Black? So he working? Do you think that's possibly why they divorced.
Because he was unemployed? Yeah, well, finances is the number one reason why marriage is dis all it's not infidelity, is money.
So I just feel like, if he's not beating your ass or.
We don't know, because he was very, very believable.
This man ain't beaten. I heard he was very nice. I heard he was a very nice guy. But hey, you don't know how somebody is if not haven't been married to him for twenty years or however long they had been together.
But the who ain't nice in the beginning?
Right? Gotcha bitch? And then all of a sudden the real nigga show up. But TiO was saying, how hard it is like now, like trying to like date and stuff like that. I have to like it, Like post divorce, girl, what your thought was outside? You ain't listening to these single bitches like it's nothing out here. The pickings are as slim women.
Okay, maybe they can reconcile though hopefully there's.
Poop in the dating pool. Okay, it's hard, so you should have tried to kept your man a little like a little harder man.
It's hard out here, but maybe sometimes it takes separating to see what you got. He might not be having it easy out here with women either. You know, you never know.
I don't know.
Oh you said that looked like you had some inscts.
These niggas be having a way man, no matter what age. I think women sometimes be tripping about how many options we really have, like good options. Right, Yeah, you got some men who definitely gonna drop some dick on you, But how many of them gonna actually keep you is the question. And I think women sometimes be delusional about how many men gonna actually wipe them up. It's not a lot. And men, men be having a way with
multiple great women. You're playing with everybody. Speaking of wifing up and marrying child, David Banner, fifty year old, asked talk about he ready for a marriage and children now. He said, I'm tired. I want to find my wife, have some kids. We chase all these esoteric goals and sometimes we look back and we left the things that really matter. The shorty say artists said, Oh, I hate when they add quotes in there. Anyway, he said, I
looked up one day, I had all of them. I had the music accolades, the film accolades, not the one, not all the ones that I want, but a lot of them. I had accomplished my goals and chased my goal so long that when I looked up, I saw that I had ran off and left everything else Banner was wanted Banner has. Banner has wanted to get married for some time, because in twenty seventeen, he released the song Marry Me. The artist told Exell Nicole he wants
to be the marriage type. He said, I just want to be the man that most black women want to marry. I want to be a Black man that stands strong. He said. I'm not perfect, but I want to be the man women want to marry and that kids want to be, want to be their father. I want to be that man. When I die, I want people to say that that's a strong African man. I am proud that he's a part of my culture.
But I mean, fifty sounds old to be, you know, feeling that way, But ultimately it's not for him because.
He's a man.
Yeah, because he's a man, you know. And who said he was looking for a fifty year old bitch? Right? Getting a thirty year old woman, you know.
And I hope he get a fine ass twenty five year with that fucking rad snapper, run his ass ragged, my girl.
We're like Banner seems like a good guy like I don't see him as a bad guy like who.
I never heard nothing crazy about him. I've always been in love with David Banner. Always that nigga has always sex symbol to me. I got to say, yeah, it's too late now, nigga, it's too late. A bunch of people wanted you people, and I had to move on with They lost year. He gonna have to get him a little young whoopa snapper and hopefully you know, she don't hopefully she don't do him dirty. Hopefully hopefully she don't break his heart. I hadn't heard no bad things
about David Banner and dating. I don't know anybody who's dealt with him, So I don't know how he How do you? How do you make it this long?
Like? Who is? Who?
Has he ever been attached to? Like woman? Like a woman? Do you know anybody he's ever dated?
No? I can't think of a soul. I can't think of anybody.
So David Banner, so he ain't been out here fucking so you're not early with somebody and somebody and I fell in love.
He was very quiet about it.
Yeah, somebody that I've been in love somewhere and you let that woman go? What happened with that? I want to talk to David Banner. Let's see, we could try to get him on the show so you can have a deeper discussion about the psychology of a fifty year old nigga. Because they got a lot to say about women just being thirty with no children and her husband. You know, they got a lot to say about us.
But it's like, Okay, you a man fifty, because you can get a younger woman, but something has to automatically be wrong with a woman because she didn't have those things by a certain time. Double standards. Double standards. Hate double standards.
Me too, But I mean men can be sixty and be like, I'm ready, and what can we say? You know, because he can get him a little nice, little forty thirty five year old forty year olds something to make kids? How old it al pacino? And he just had a baby something like that, eighty something years old with a younger woman, So more power to him. I say all men should wait until they ready. Don't get involved with someone and making single mothers out of women and doing
all the things when you're not ready. If it take you till sixty, wait till sixty, because I'm sure some of the women that you ran through and leaving the trails of tears behind you would be grateful if you had just waited and didn't play in their face.
And keep your heart healthy, make sure you're running. David Banner looked like he got a nice strong back. I don't see ed in his future anytime soon. More power to your David Banner.
Yep, all right. I saw a video over the weekend that made me want to have this conversation. Tammy Rowman was discussing password sharing and location sharing, and I wanted to talk with AJ and you guys about what it looks like in your relationships and what it should look like in your relationship with password sharing and location squear sharing. We'll be right back with that conversation, all.
Right, y'all, And we're back, okay, and absolutely fucking not to kick the conversation off, No you can't have my goddamn password, and no I'm not sharing my location. There's that.
I don't for me. If you want it, you can have it, but I feel like there's a bigger issue at hand if you want it, and we need to discover what that is. But you can have it until you feel comfortable, you know, to give me my password back where I can have that privacy, because it's like you're looking into my diary, you know. That's how it feels when you want to have access to my phone in that way, is like you want access to my diary, because I mean, there are private things in your phone
that isn't for everybody, that's just for you, you know. So, and in location sharing, the only real the way I would feel like I would want my man to have my location. It's for my safety, you know. If I'm going out of town or if I'm going like on a long distance drive or something like that, then I can share my location with you. But otherwise it just seems like control. All those things feel like control to me.
Neither one of us have been married yet. Okay, as until you're married, you're single. I'm living with a whole man and I'm still single as far as the thing goes, right, if I get married or when I get married, I probably would share my location with my significant other. I don't have a problem with that. And actually the man who I was engaged to, he was very adamant about trying to get me to share my location with him. But I knew you had a whole lot of shit
going on that you didn't think I knew about. So you wanted me, you were in particular wanted in particular wanting me to share my location and you not share yours is a problem that is control, absolutely, you know. So it's what they're trying to do with this information. And then it's also like if there was never any like insecurity issues leading up to you asking for these things,
then maybe I would consider it. But based on like the things that I've already transpired in a relationship, dishonesty, lying, you know what I'm saying, Nigga, it was never honest with me, Like bitches was literally knocking on the door, scratching cars, all types of shit. Now I'm the one you need my location. You got a lot of shit going on, my boy, I.
Can't trust you because I've been so untrustworthy.
Yes That's what I'm hearing. Yeah, And actually that nigga was logged into my social media for a whole year, and I didn't know. We weren't even together.
Damn, that's crazy.
It wasn't until I let him have access to me. Like we went out of town for my birthday and I don't know why, but that was like our last engagement for real, and he said some shit to me that I knew. I don't use Facebook like that. I haven't used Facebook for really years, but I did message a nigga on Facebook that I was looking for, and I knew I could find him on Facebook. He knew about me messaging this person. He asked me about this person in particular. I'm like, that's the only person I
messaged on Facebook. I haven't like really logged into Facebook since twenty twelve at that point, so that I had to go look at my cell phone and like, you know, you can go into settings and see where you're logged in at. He was logged into my social media, all of my social media's Instagram and Facebook on another cell phone of his for a year. That is a major invasion of privacy.
And you're looking at whoever you're talking to for years.
Though he was bringing up conversations that I had with people before I even knew he existed. That's dangerous.
Yeah, that's scary.
So this is why now, because of previous situations with people, why I I'm very leary when somebody wants my location or when somebody wants access to my to my personal effects, because I don't really fuck with people about these things. You know, Like I like to, everybody's in an individual. Even though we're in a union, we're in a relationship,
you're still an individual. There are going to be some things you don't want me to see just because I might not understand because it's not for me to see.
Right that part, I agree.
So now you're going through my text messages or going through my Instagram from years and years ago, and you're reading it with your eyes and mind and it's just not for you to see. So you might make something out of nothing because you actually looking for some shit. I'm not in to hurt my own feelings. I know there's a lot of women that are, but I'm not into hurting my own feelings. So I'm never like going into a Nigga cell phone for real. But I'll tell y'all when I have I go on your cell phone.
When I'm ready to leave your ass, I go, wok, I will go looking for a reason to leave you. Not because I don't have a reason already, right, because I obviously got to this point because of things happening within the relationship. Right, But maybe you were good these last two weeks. But I'm still like, I can't get past what happened you know already in this relationship. I'm ready to leave. I might just go look for some shit, to start some shit so I can get the fuck up out of there.
But why though, why not just be like, Hey, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm over there relationship, I'm no longer happy in it, and I'm gonna leave.
Well, I won't tell them that I went in they phone. It'll just give me the internal motivation to leave again. Do you see what I'm saying. I'm still I still never let people know I've been in they shit. It wasn't until last year me and this niggamen separated for I don't know how long. It wasn't until last year that I actually told him, Nigga, I seen such and such and such on your phone, But I never said
anything because I chose to be happy every day. I knew a lot of things, but I chose to be happy because I didn't want to start friction in my relationship. But a lot of people can't hold a piece like I can.
Oh no, I'm not doing that.
Yeah I did.
That's why I don't go in phones because once I see it, it ain't no peace. There's no more peace, you know. So I just mind my business and if it's meant for me to find it, it'll confine me. That's how I feel.
About exactly, literally a bit message you on Instagram, popping up at the house, whatever it is. Because what was people doing? It's another part of this conversation. I want to get into what were people doing prior to cell phones and all that shit to get caught?
You didn't, I say, I want to go back to the time when you didn't have access to each other in this way. I was like, I want to go back to when dating you wouldn't talk until you got home from work. And she's like, you wasn't old enough to be dating back then, and I was like, I still want to go.
Back that shit. Last week, I still want to go back how were people getting caught cheating, because I guess that's what it really balls down to, partly, right, part of it could be the person's insecurity. And I did pull up like a couple of articles so we could talk, you know, talk about you know, why you may consider why you shouldn't give the passwords because it's subjective to the person's relationship, right, I mean not be for everybody. It's definitely not for gem Andi. Me, Okay, I need
my independence. I don't like to feel smothered. I don't like to feel like I don't have a choice in any situation.
Yeah, me either. I I got a lot of old.
Like, oh porn in my phone, your own porn that you made.
No like you know how guys were sending news and stuff like that. I still have one, and I just feel like, well, do I need to delete them when I get a man or can they just stay in the folder somewhere?
You probably should delete him because he fucked around and getting that phone. And see Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick.
It ain't that much. Dick seems like it's like I'm just like a perv.
And I know, hold on, whose show was me on? And I have put Dick in my search, and it was like a lot of Dick.
Like a lot of Carlos.
It was a lot of conversations about Dix. It was Dix like because when you get a new like I just got this cell phone two weeks ago, like you still transferring all that data from years and years and years of having phones.
That's what I'm saying. So do I need to like delete all of that stuff a separate folder just because it's part of the history, the story of my life.
You should probably delete it or get this app called the Vault and.
Hide it somebody in your eye.
And hide it.
Okay.
So this, uh, this is talking about passwords. This is from PCMag dot com Sharing passwords with a partner, True Love or Big Mistake. As the title of this article, it says, here's why eighty one percent of Americans share passwords with their partner and what happens after a breakup.
Wait, eighty one percent of Americans are sharing passwords.
That's what listen. So I had to go deep. I read this first, and then I was like, wait, y'all talk about Netflix passwords, And then we talked about cell phone codes and share Instagram passwords. We talk about like sharing apps and ships, so I ain't got to be paid for.
That. I had longed into my HBO, max longed into my Mexican over a nigga house so we could watch Game of Throws. And then we had a fight, and then I when I went home, well at home, I wasn't. We didn't fight at his house, but we had an argument. And then at home I made sure I changed my password on purpose because I knew he was watching me watch it with another bitch on my He was like, did you change your Hbo password? And I was like, what imagine? Imagine you at home at your house and.
Your husband. I gave somebody else your your passwords to one of your accounts and she don't put her name in the shit.
Oh she made a profile, Yes, aside bitch made a profile.
A side bitch made a profile. What what's your next step?
I don't know. I don't know because and then you name it, uh both of ours or something like that. Oh mine's too.
Oh my god, that's real life story. They happen to me now, not me because I beat a nigga up. I'm just be honest with y'all. I do be beating niggas up, not for real, but I might smack you. I might smack you in your fucking beard. I might because why you're letting.
This girl play? You wanted your woman to see that.
Exactly, and so why is she so comfortable to play with me like that? See, let's go back to the times when they didn't have all these things, right, bitch, you can't get at your wife that easy. But yeah, that happened to a friend of mine.
That's next level, next.
Level of disrespect. Okay, So it says. It starts with a simple question, Hey, what's the Nextflix password? So that's the first step, right, And just like that, you've joined the eighty one percent of Americans who say they've shared passwords with passwords with a partner. So they're starting with like simple shit like that Netflix. Okay, So I share accounts with multiple people, not just my partner, so it says, according to a new survey of two thousand men and
women by Express VPN. This is a slightly higher number than was found by a similar survey conducted in twenty twenty one. As passive sharing is becoming more commonplace, particularly among millennials. In gen z, it says Willingness to share passwords and other types of personal data, including location, varies by country. Express VPN conducted the survey with respondents from France, US,
Germany and UK. Willingness to fork over private information was highest in France and US, with more skeptical Germans and Brits holding out a bit more so eighty two percent of French, eighty one percent Americans, seventy six of Germans seventy one percent of Brits. Among Americans who have not shared passwords with their partners, the top reasons given are they they use the same password for different accounts, so that that's one of my things. I do use it.
Even when I go and change all my passwords, I'm usually changing them all to the same shit. So now if I give you the password for one thing, and I think that's how my ex got into my social media because like he had the password for Netflix, it says a desire to keep certain information private in case
of a breakup it's eighteen percent. It says fear of tempting their significant other to check on them, twelve percent, fear their privacy will no longer be protected ten percent, and not wanting their significant significant other to see what they're up to. Seven percent only seven that that's what I'm saying. It's people don't be honest when they do these things, because I feel like one hundred percent the reason why I'm not sharing is because it's not none
of your damn business. How about that? It's just my private thing. Can I have one thing private?
It's my diary. You don't need to see what I'm searching. You don't need to see what me and my friends are talking about. You don't need to see my photos, you don't need to see none of that. It's none of your business. It's a trust issue, absolutely, So I don't have no desire to go through a nigga phone like zero.
Zero Yeah, Like I'm not into Why are you gonna fuck your Monday up?
Yeah?
Like everything was good like yesterday we have it, had a great day, and then today you're just gonna go look at my phone.
Like and try to ruin the day. Like, why are you doing that?
You're selfish? Yeah, shit should not die, It says most American couples were willing to share passwords before marriage. The final third, thirty five percent, waited until after. Among all couple surveyed, streaming service passwords are the most commonly shared, followed by banking pins. Huh, that escalated quickly, it says, And then it says social media passwords are the least likely to be shared. So niggas is cheating on uh Snapchat?
Oh yeah, Snapchat is definitely for like looking at shit you ain't got no business, or talking to people you don't have no business because it deletes automatically.
Yep, it says. Digging into the reasons that couples exchange this information, a survey found that cost saving top the list. Okay, so that's like sharing apps forty four percent. But it also but it's also about more than that. Survey responding said they hope the sharing would improve transparency, trust, and loyalty, bringing the pair closer. A small fraction twelve percent said they did it as a means of preventing jealousy. So you just offer up your shit because you don't want
your partner to be jealous. That's an internal issue that they got to deal with. So you really not this. If this person is insecure, giving them your password and your location is not going to make them even any more secure. It may even cause him to be more manic, you know what I'm saying, like constantly checking it, constantly trying to see where you at, calling to see, like facetiming you to see your surroundings. Like you gotta know
your personnel. You got to know the type of person you're dealing with before you just offer up that type.
Of yeah, I'll share, Like I kind of would want my man to want my location. I mean where am I at? That?
That's what I'm saying. If I'm married here, like I need you to know where I'm at?
Yeah, like where am I at? That? He's not that I don't want him to know. I can't think of nowhere. I could be that you.
On some other dick. That's what would be in that person's mind, if they were somebody that's already insecure, you know, like we had an episode or somebody said, you know, you got your first bad bitch, Like some niggas don't know how to handle that. So now you like stalking, You stalking because you don't don't even know how to deal with this person you thought you wanted.
But even if I wanted to be on some other dick, I would still make it a location where you would be comfortable with me being.
At your homegirl house.
Yeah, like it would. There's ways around it, you know, Like so I mean, it's just it's pointless. So I would let me just say because and I don't want my future man to be listening to this and like that bitch is sneaky and could not. I wouldn't be on no other dick period, Yeah, especially married, Like what were we doing?
So I feel like when people if you have to go to that extent of needing passwords and would you let somebody answer your cell phone? You okay with that, like when you get married and stuff like that. Yeah, you know, I'm not answering my man's cell phone's not.
If he's if he'd be like baby, answer that.
If he tell me to. But I'm not just picking up his phone answering. And then I don't like homegirls who have me on speaker phone with a nigga in the car, like I didn't even know that your dude was right here. Like I understand, like some couples they do everything together, they share everything. They don't need to share my personal shit.
You just got to be prepared and understand that your business, your your friend is there's a huge chance then she's telling her nigga your business.
You have to different between telling and then I'm telling because I don't know you got me on speakerphone because you and your nigga just that close, Like I'm not close with your man though, right, why does he know? Why is he chiming in on?
No, he should keep his mouth fucking right.
That has happened to me, Like, why is he chiming in on this thing I'm telling my my best friend.
Oh yeah, no, that's a problem because shut your little bitch as un nobody was talking to you. But I always I always feel like my best friends are my friend's man know my business, anything that I've shared with her, there's a huge chance. We me.
This is the chance, and I I it's some funny shit that we can laugh about. Yeah, I probably repeated it. But if it's like some personal shit, no for what and then you're gonna have your boyfriend looking at your friend crazy.
Right, But there's you know that women use their men like they dieing, like they lay in the bed like, oh let me tell you talking, Yeah, let me tell you what Tammy told me today, you know, and it don't even be like malicious is just talking about shit that's in their life and that happens. That happens more than you realize. A nigga will know all about your BV, like, wow, your husband know I got BV. You know, ever everything because women just talk to they men, you know, So
don't tell even if it's your best frien. Don't tell her shit that you don't want her husband to know. If it's something that you would be up. You wouldn't be okay with her husband knowing. Don't tell her.
Hmm.
I know that's terrible, but it's the truth.
You know. I the friends where I have to say, look, don't repeat this. If I got to do that too much, because I know you be repeating shit. I'm probably stop telling you things. Yeah, you know, I probably. I don't feel comfortable telling you stuffing more because it's almost guaranteed. And some people didn't like they like you said, they don't do it with their intent. They just talk too fucking much, you know what I'm saying, just in general
conversation and passing. They'd be done said some shit they don't got no business saying. Somebody just said some shit around me recently, and I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's some shit they was not supposed to repeat. Like I can point. I can actually, like just from somebody talking, I can determine, like that's some shit you ain't supposed to tell nobody. Somebody told you that and told you not to tell nobody. And now I know you just met me today.
Oh that next level now youtual, But you don't know them, so it don't matter. That's the thing in six degrees of separation.
I don't know them today, right, So you know what I wanted to add to this conversation, So can you tell me something like what are some ways like people got caught cheating before the cell phones and shit that you could think of.
At the juke joint they pulled up on them because I don't know, like before before cell phones and all this social media and things like that, there was really it was really hard. You just had to be in the right place at the right time, or somebody had to see them, you know. I came up.
I came up with a couple of things. So the very first one was this is the oldest one. It's just women's intuition. Bitchua god by her fucking sleep, like this nigga cheat, She just know all of a sudden, I had a dream last night. You just wake up and hit your fucking kid's daddy. I had a dream last night you was with Rebecca from down the street. Phone numbers in the pocket.
But you don't. I don't know. I ain't never had no intuition like it was Rebecca and then it was that's next level. That's psychic, ain't it. Yeah, And I've had I've had intuition, but it be based on behavior, like you're moving different.
Yeah, because what men don't realize is that they are very predictable, right, and women we do like consistency in the minute that you deviate outside of those that thing we on your ass. Last week, I just finally went and got my bicycle child form my mama house. So I bought a portable air pump from this old man I found somebody on Facebook marketplace selling them. Like it looks like like a portable charger, so you can put it. I can put it in my book bag, charge my bike,
I mean, pump my air up. So I meet him at Zaxby's. I just sat there and talked to this old white man for a thirty minutes, child like he was my granddaddy or somebody we so much. So to where he's talking about how his second wife, who was a Gemini, divorced him. He said, I used to He said, I used to own a Firestone and it was this young girl who came up there one day. She came up, she put her ring her ring to the window and basically she was trying to pawn her ring to get
new tires and brakes from Firestone. And he said, that's how it all started. He said, I used to go home between six thirty and six forty five every single day, never missed it. He said, I was late one day, then I was late the second day. He said. After the second time he was late, his wife got a private investigator on him after two times. So that was another way. Private investigators is what people had to do before. They could just go on your cell phone and see what you was up to.
Right, it's too easy now, niggas had it easy back then, y'all could do what y'all wanted. Yes, I had a friend catch her nigga cheating because he was driving her Tesla and she had the Tesla app on her phone and she saw an address. Something just told her intuition. Look, let me look at where he at today tonight. And she looked at it and saw an address that was two houses down from the address of the bitch he
had been cheating on her with prior. And she I don't know how she knew the girl's address from before, but you know, we'll find a way. So in the phone you two houses down from there. M M, no, you cheating again, nigga, And now I got to kill you.
Calling your spouse somebody else's name.
Oh yeah, that'll happen.
That's how bitch niggas is getting caught. That's how bitches get caught too, right, Uh, playing on the phone, calling twice and hanging up the phone, ring twice and hang up. This is a house phone. Yeah, this is before cell phones, This is before pages. So somebody calling and hanging up that is your husband's side, bitch. Right now, he got to leave a house fifteen minutes later.
And make a call on a payphone down the street, right the other woman simply pulling up to the house, and that a five year old. Today. What I'm go'a do with two more kids? What I'm gonna do with.
Cause my next one was babies you know, you you were able to hide a whole family before cell phones, before pagers, before social media. You could hide a whole family and nobody knew until your funeral. That ain't working like that, No.
I've seen that. I've seen that happen where a man was on his deathbed and his family was uh surrounding him, showering with him love as he's about the transition, and a eighteen year old boy walks in and said, this is my father, and everybody in the family is like, what shame? Yes, he had a whole and then and he's been a good father too. You wouldn't even know bad father. He was a very prison father. Ain't that crazy?
How you present?
I guess he was moving and shaking thone. I don't know.
That's all I got though. Those are the ways she was getting caught without having the cell phones back.
In the day. Now your car now a nigga car.
Catch him up period. One of my older cousins, I think I said this before, is she She would say that, You know, her and her husband had a rule and this was this was before the technology. No one can tell them that the other one is cheating. You'd have to tap him on the shoulder, like, you got to
literally physically catch the catch your spouse cheating. So that's what the rule was between her and her husband and girl day, her husband tapped her on the shoulder while she was out with another man, caught her eyes dead like, so it gotta be an organic catch.
Listen. I respect that, but I don't know if it be a tap on the shoulder or elbow to a y'all, you.
Know, punch him in the beard right like, and get your some fucking cushion playing around with these damn cellphones and snapchat.
You gotta be like, because are you? Are you a person who wouldn't allow your man to have female friends?
No, absolutely not. I'm the person who point out fat asses in the street like, I'm not on nobody like that. If you can really bag them, you can have them, because you don't. He obviously don't like.
Me, right and not the way he should.
Yeah, he obviously don't like me. I don't really trip on a lot of things anymore. I just I'm in a different space nowadays. I never really tripped. I feel like I've always enabled people to do shady shit because I was never on your ass like that. You know what I'm saying. I just go with the floor whatever you tell me until I see otherwise. I'm not looking for shit. So somebody literally gonna have to message me on Instagram, which has happened. Somebody gonna literally have to
pull up which has happened. I'm not looking for shit.
One of my one of my cousins, she had a very platonic relationship with a male ever since college. They were like besties. They were like the best of friends. And then once he got with his wife now his wife, but she was his girlfriend at the time, she made him stop being her friend. And I just thought that would that suck, because like their relationship was not anything inappropriate ever, But she made him cut that shit off and he chose, I mean, he chose the woman he
ended up burying, and then they weren't friends anymore. Do you feel like that's okay?
No? And yes, because I can understand when men say that women can't have male friends, Because because call any one of your male friends, the niggas that you call homie brother, call them right now asking them if they want to fuck, and see what they say.
I could call Terry.
Right now and be like I want to so could I could? So could I. So it just depends on the friends. But I'm saying the majority of your friends, the majority of your guy friends are the people you call bro brother. This is how men think, This is how this is why men are uncomfortable with their women having guy friends. Women, right, we believe we can have guy friends, Like I got guy friends, and it may be one of my guy friends is somebody who I've
actually been with many many years ago. And it's like, ill now on both ends, you know what I'm saying, Like that's we really were supposed to just be friends one time and that shit wasn't it? And we friends, right, but my man would not become with him being my friend.
Yeah, that's why I was like a guy was like, what you need male friends for when you got me, because these people have been friends long before you came, and they might be friends long after you go, you.
Know, right, Yeah, we should be able to have opposite sex friends, absolutely, but men don't think it's possible for women to have friends. And that's really because they have issues.
And that's why you need to stay on my phone because I'm gonna tell you I ain't friends with them, No, more. But that's still my homeboy, right.
And see now when I got a lie to you about my friend, we can't be together. Yeah, yeah, my ex wanted me to get rid of everybody who ever knew me. Okay, he really wanted to consume me in that way.
Listen, you could literally write a you know that my my the worst ex, My worst ex. That show on Netflix, have you seen it? It's about people who went had relationships with people and they were like terrible. A lot of these people try to kill him, but you literally could have an episode on there, not murder, but just from all the mental abuse that you experience.
And then I don't feel like it was mental abuse because I'm not a person that can be abused. So it was really a battle for him to impose that thing. You know what I'm saying. That's why we would fucking argue all the damn time, because I'm not somebody that's easily controlled. But I give a lot of grace. So when I get tired enough, I'm aa just cold turkeyo ass. You ain't gonna never ever have access to me in that way ever. Again.
Nah, some of that shit was abuse, friend, But I guess I don't.
Have a I don't have a victim mentality. It's just I was dealing with somebody who was having problems. That's how I feel for real. But in his mind, I could have caused those problems, you know what I'm saying, Like I could have been a terrorist to him. That could be the story he's telling about me.
Yeah, you could be the villain in his story.
Yeah. And I'm at that point in my life where I'm okay being a villain for sure. And I just look at a girl. More power to your girl.
You next, I'm a hit of Netflix, so you can so.
Me and one of my homegirls that's gonna put together a book based on our worst relationships, like a little tell all right quick?
Yeah you literally can't because I done heard some stories.
Resa Tisa, don't got shipped on this story. Okay, she got a whole TV show coming out now, Resa Tisa, I.
Know I'm excited to see you because I can't watch the TikTok series. I couldn't. I couldn't be bothered.
I watched that whole ship. I watched that whole ship because I'm nosy. Yeah, but y'all listen if you want to share your passwords and your location with your significant other. More power to you. There's no I ain't doing that ship over here. Don't don't. Don't ask me about nothing. I'm gonna treat you like a child. Don't ask me for nothing. Else.
I will share. But it just depends on the context in which the reasons why you need it, you know, why you feel like you want it, and.
How you ask for it. It just it just can't feel like you're trying to control me. So you're gonna have to finesse me out these passwords and location.
The location. I'm okay with that because.
I like I'm okay with the location.
Yeah, I like feeling like my man don't play without me, And if y'all do something, he already know where the fuck I'm at, you know, But the password is next level. I don't know. I would have got got caught doing something terrible for me to give you my password.
But even then, like you might as well leave, Yeah, you might as well leave when you get to that point. My trust is already gone.
Listen. I can't even see myself doing the next man I get I'm just gonna be so good because I've been out here by myself for so long, I would not want to fuck it up in any way. I think, yeah.
You full of shit.
Yep.
Anyway, you got a last last for the people.
That was it. That's all I got.
All right, y'all listen If you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect. iHeartRadio app. But where you get your podcasts at? Remember to subscribe and download. We talk back, okay, make surey'all do y'all. Y'all know when we're dropping episodes and we beefing up on the YouTube content as well.
Down y'all's official taim ma'am on Instagram. Y'all give me a follow, I'll follow back sometimes if y'all got good content. Look, I'm saying that, like I got good content, I don't post it enough. I can't. I can't. I try to be better. I try to do better, but it's hard beating a slave to the content. Well, I love y'all despite everything. Remember speak now.
And hold one goddamn passwords.
Holy your password as hard as long as you can.
Don't give it to them, hold them and don't be stressing that nigga out for his shit either, bye. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.