Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network Talk Talk Talk to.
You're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.
What's up y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode and We Talked Back, a show dedicated to you dreamers and chasers. Just your co hosts a j holiday. What's up big Tam Bam, It's tam bab y'all.
I love y'all. Shout out to the niggas and hold own. That own was supposed to be louder, but it started to hurt. I don't know my throat.
You been doing this weekend, bitch nothing. I refuse to do anything with one foot.
I refuse you making massage your souls? Why why it's in the air, no.
Feeling it?
How many times you had sex in twenty twenty four?
I did not get nothing that much this year, because remember I had been celibate most of the year and my birthday I hop back outside. I can count on one hand how much beings I had twenty twenty four. Ain't that sad? Not I need worth? It is boring.
I need you to get your dick up. Yeah, man, get your dick up, man.
It's been a Yeah, twenty twenty four they said twenty twenty four was the year they cancer.
How y'all literally a fucking disease. Okay, don't pick that over us.
You see.
I said that as somebody on the on Instagram because.
I ignored that shit.
Like cancers are not the best. You're literally a disease.
Car just read up on us. You're amazing, literally.
Y'all so much. It's a dry year. It's been a dry year. And then oh, with no people trying to take me on a date right now, I'm not going on no day with the foot. Yeah without the foot, you know what I'm saying, Like, no, So I just been chilling. I haven't had on real clothes, like got dawged up, did my makeup and did all of that since sometime since the wedding in August.
Damn, your hair looks nice.
Thank you.
I did it today. Some reason why I did it? I mean I did it yesterday.
Huh. It's a quick weave ing a quick week.
Yeah, nice and flowy.
Thank you? Because I was just looking so bad. My mama was like, my mom was like, why don't you do something to your hair.
Baby.
I was like, you know what, You're right, it'll make you feel better.
That's how I've been looking for weeks. Kay hat Wig, going riding bike.
Going to ride a bike? So bad, so bad. What'd you do over the weekend?
Not too much? Ride my bike, me and my hosband. I rode my bike Saturday and Sunday, very long away. I probably rode my bike like thirty miles this weekend.
Ooh, that's total.
Like riding a bike the Whole Foods to sit down and eat the riding it back.
Home counterproductive, but at least you burned off what you ate.
Not really, I'm pretty sure I burned way more than I actually ate, but I still didn't eat like a super bad meal at the Whole Foods.
Yeah that's not that's cute. I'm here for it. Used by yourself.
He was with a friend Monday, not Monday, Jesus Christ. I skip like that. On Saturday, I went by myself, and then yesterday I had my homegirl rolle with me. And it's so like, y'all, get a fucking bike. I know it's getting cold outside now, but get a bike or a kite something so you could tap into that child like energy inside. It's just so fun when it's nice outside and the breeze.
Or go to spin class.
Man, if y'all got a good spin class with like the lights that like go off with the music and it'll be dark and the lights flashing and shit, I love that shit.
I love that shit.
I've been spending for years. Man, it's just so expensive now. Like I started spinning when I live in Saint Louis, and that shit was with my gym membership, Like I paid twenty dollars a month, good ass spin classes, and then when I moved back South, I got my certification. But I just I don't know. People don't even do the spin like that, not at the gyms. But then you gotta pay for these old side spots. How much you paid for spin.
It was like for Unlimited it was almost two hundred a month.
That is fucking stupid. Bitch. You need to open a spin studio, fat girl spin, fat.
Girl spind sc L. I don't that sound like, and then serve pizza at the class.
No bitch is gonna be coming to class just for the free pizza afterwards. That is an incentive.
Shit, what's good in the sense a first sin of the week.
This is just this is just a little fyi for anybody who'll be around here, snooping, snooping in your significant significant other cell phone, waiting until your man go to sleep, going to shower, handing a cell phone. It's against the law. Okay, you might can look in there, but don't tell. I done looked at nigga cell phones and they'll never know because I'm not going to bring up anything. I've seen it. I am able to see things and then just put a sticky note on it.
I only went through a niggaphone one time in my life, one time, and it just wasn't good. Like, I'll never do that again. It wasn't good for my mental health, it wasn't good for our relationship.
Yeah, it just was bad. So I'll never do that again.
If you want to lose fifteen pounds real quick, then going a niggaphone, That's not.
How it worked for me.
If you want to gain fifteen pounds real quick, go through that nigga.
I eat my feelings.
I don't get the pressed real quick. No, I definitely be eating for real anyway. Yeah, for some people, you know, all diets don't work for anybody, everybody. But if you, if you are somebody who like you know, start like starving yourself when you get depressed, going that niggaphone. So the Federal Wiretap Act, also known as the Electric Communications Privacy Act ECPA, or Title one of the EPCA, is a law that prohibits the UNECPA. What did I say?
EPCA?
ECPA, y'all check that, okay, because she'd be saying I say something, and then when we hit the recordings, people be messaging me back like you did say such and such. Anyway, maybe most me like you was right, lies go listen. It's a law that prohibits the unauthorized in certain, interception, use, or disclosure of wire, oral or electric communications and you know cell phone, email, text messages, like it's none of your business if it's in if it's in someone else's device.
Let me tell you what my sister did yesterday. So she accidentally sent twenty dollars to me that she was supposed to send to my mama. And she came and she was like, oh, I sent you twenty dollars on cash up. I meant to send that to mama. I was like, that's not like a personal problem.
I don't know what.
So later that day I asked her.
I passed her I can't walk, so I passed her my phone so she could plug it. I was like, can you plug my phone up? And when she plugged my phone up, she went in my phone and sent the twenty dollars back to herself.
I was like, that's illegal. You just there is a new law and that is illegal. You just committed a federal crime. Now, don't go on my phone.
She's like, all I did was send my twenty dollars back. No, that was not your twenty dollars, no more, that was my money.
Hold on. Okay, So what time did she accidentally send you the twenty dollars.
She sent it to me the day before, the night before.
Okay, So the next day she had to steal her money. Why did you not transfer that money back to your sister?
The money AJ ain't no money, bitch.
That's not your money. So your sister had to steal her cash app back from you.
She can't steal nothing back from me. That's mine.
Once listen, cash app. Let you know that once you transfer money, where you send it, because once you transfer that money is no longer yours, baby girl.
Bitch, You a Colombian scammer. You a Colombian scammer? Like, how you scamming your sister? You know it's an accident. How did I scam her? She say you were adamant about not sending it back and she had to steal it.
No, I just forgot, honestly. But those still shit for me.
That's a legal system. Your sister's right, it is illegal. So this type of shit is not admissible in court. Okay. So you go in somebody's soul phone, you think you got all the evidence against your ex husband, child or whoever, and you don't. You can't use that shit if you obtained it in an illegal way, like snooping into somebody's cell phone. So be careful, ladies. If that's the type
of shit you be on ammin. Because every nigga that I've been with been in my damn cell phone, and even the ones that lions sit ain't never been in there. Why the fuck my settings off? Like you've been in my cell phone doing stuff? I could tell, but they'll lie insity ain't been in a cell phone.
I don't go on to a niggaphone, don't go in mind. I'm not going to yours.
I have in the past once And if you want to hurt your own feelings going a cell.
Phone, exactly, that's what I'm because you're.
Gonna find what you're looking for every fucking time.
Why am I ruining my own day? That's how I feel.
About it, exactly. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not doing that, you know, anyway things come to me. I don't ever have to do that type of shit because if I need to know something, it's literally gonna knock at the door.
Right, It's gonna come find you.
It's going to keep a nigga car, It's gonna pop up somewhere we at every fucking time.
So if y'all didn't see this over the weekend, people are mad at Trina she for not signing a prenup. Apparently she did it. Had a conversation and she goes on to talk about how she's married to Benjamin Leon Kirsch Junior. She got married in me or Mar, Florida and May of this year, and she said her husband cannot spend money without her knowledge or can sit uh.
Says she didn't want to make her husband sign a prenup agreement and that he willingly gives her all his money and he she oversees the couple's finances, and I quote, my husband brings all his money to me, so I'm in charge. He can't spend it down without my consent. He can't spend it down for nothing unless it goes through me, she said, resolutely and authoritatively.
Okay, I gotta okay, So the people need to mind their business right about. I mean, she's putting it on a public platform. She was on Kishi Kior's podcast, So she's put it on a public platform, her relationship stuff and not having a prenup. My problem is you don't think you're embarrassing a man a little bit, Like it's kind of em masculating that little conversation.
Yeah, the way she said it was masculating.
Yes, like it's nothing wrong because I mean, it don't happen as much now, but Granddaddy used to bring Big Mama his hit, you know, always, Yeah, so it's not that wasn't an uncommon thing. But the way you said is like, my nigga can't spend a dim I've slapped the shit out.
Yeah, she sounds strict as fucked. Okay, that nigga can't breathe. So we don't know what Trina Park is looking like. We don't know where her man pocket pocket is looking like. It might be beneficial for her to not have signed a prenup. We just don't know that, right, Yeah, And you just got to know your personal because if it could be if it's a situation where your man is better with money, maybe you would be more inclined to have him in charge of the finances. You know, women
are bad with money. There are some women that are bad with money, and then there are some men who are very frugrow and they know how to make money grow. So it just depends know your personality child, right.
And that's that's between them. I don't see why people were upset about that.
I'm just upset about how she said it. If I was her man like, I almost.
Feel like, like, man, why you have to say it like that?
If I was to stop, be like, girl, who the fuck it's bitch talking to my son over there? I mean my son, my brother over there getting handled by Trina, Like, girl, what you acting bad? You finally got a nigga to marry you? Anyway, I don't do that, girl, were all on the same boat side talking talking too much ship for me. I love Trino, okay, but you can't tell me I wasn't the baddest bitch in high school. Let's be very clear.
Shout up next year. Claim it, claim it.
Claim it, claim it. I already missed my window for a Gemini. Sou'm shining for a Virgo in December and a Libra in the December, Okay, I mean November and December. I'm gonna try.
Don't worry about the baby.
I can't just be having a sperm in my pussy for no reason. I don't like it. I don't like it, and it got it be for a reason.
I mean when you're ovulating. Yeah, but don't be worried about the astrological sign.
That stuff matters, it really does. I don't want no demon seed.
It ain't gonna be a demon astrological sign.
Like I can't be the most loving others yet, y'all be finessing. Okay, let's be very clear and love it. Were one person all we are. We're one person as well. It's duality, you know, we not we just one person. And the thing is is that multiple people might get multiple personalities from us.
You see how she has negative negativity to say about the cancer. I don't bring that energy. Jo Gemini, be yourself whatever you are. You see who's the good Zodia girl bye?
The thing is Gemini? Be seeing through the bullshit? Why I can say these things?
Okay? Okay, are creating?
We creating, We're seeing through the bullshit. Okay, we see things other people don't see.
Okay.
Eli must Avail unveiled Tesla's new line of robot and self driving vehicles, including the Tesla Bot. Name optimists during an event on October tenth. Would you get you an optimist?
You get what I might I might want on that thing.
I didn't see no dick on, bitch, I forget my modified.
I'm gonna be in a little order for and asks for little auditions like you're ordering a car. I'm an ad dick because big black dick soft one though, like I don't want to like a sheer you. I mean if we could turn to pop up the volume like a bullet vibrator, I mean.
What is it malfunction? You be in the hospital because you got a safe word with the.
Girl. Would never have no ship like that in my house. That thing might mess run to get real. Cons ain't gonna fuck you up. That's the weird part about it. Y'all go on twiktok, twiktok. What the fuck? Go on TikTok and look at these videos people talk about what they're gonna do today. Optimists like why y'all want to be mean and something so bad?
Right? They gonna like telling you where to go to bed. Maken, you go to bed, actually and maybe go to bed. He won't.
I was engaged to an optimist once they try to fucking Kurfew's be whispering on the phone and tell me. I'd be like, why are you whistling? It's lockdown, it's lockdown?
Why you gotta go to bed?
Nigga used to be sighing and sucking his teeth with his back to me. But could you imagine a big six foot machine walking around in your house? That is wild to me? Isn't just where we're headed?
Jetson's don't tell you when to go, Ashley, it is your bedtime, bitch, don't come back out that bed rope.
I'll fuck you up.
And it's like that, right, because it might start off where we give it some power right, like, because now we're trying to get our lives in order, so you might tell it, hey, make sure I'm in bed by such and such, not all of a sudden. It's like forcing you to sleep and locking the door behind itself.
Right, shit like that for your own best interest.
I'm cool on the optimus. I don't want that shit in my house. It's just weird. And I guess that's what AI is headed. At AI is supposed to make everybody's life easy, right to do the things that humans do every day, and just relieve us of some of the jobs and things. But it's gonna take over because they're not putting things in place for humans to do in place of the normal job. Like how if you still got to pay bills? And shit, how are you going to pay bills if you don't have a job, right, So,
what's the new job's gonna be? I guess social media, like you get everybody's a content creator. Is that where the world is headed.
That's where it looks like. Besides, I like my robot dick without a body.
Only the men want that shit. It's only the men who want of those bluff dolls and machine pussy because they think that's all women are good for.
Once the body get on there, it get creepy. Girl.
Imagine that shit coming to the house with the big dick on it. That'd be weird.
But imagine somebody who don't have like I can see where a person who doesn't have any romance in their life and nobody wants to have sex with them and nobody choose them nice where they would fall in love with their.
Robot people already fall in love with AI characters online.
That's weird, yeah, but I can see how it can happen if you don't have any like real human in that interaction.
Mm hmmm, y'all watch that Watch that movie. Sarah's it's not really about robots because this that's some total recall shit. But Sarahgates is like, this is where people are, like they don't want to be themselves. They don't want to live in the reality anymore. Like they can't wait to literally put their consciousness online right and not have to exist in the reality any.
In the human form. Oh, mer jesus, well, what are we talking about this week?
I don't know what you want to talk about.
I want to talk about our intrusive thoughts dun't dunt dumb like sending.
I'm like, why, I keep want to call it oculus, but optimists send an optimist to somebody house to do something.
To them like that, that's one of your thoughts.
I just thought about it.
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
Have you ever just been like I should push this person out into the street or some like this, some wild ass ship that pops in your head and you're like, why am I thinking that? And you even started by your own thoughts. I have thought, like, y'all, don't judge me because I would never do this. This was one of my intrusive thought. Well, you know what, we're gonna talk about it when we come back from this commercial.
Y'all listen to this ship. I'll be right back. Okay, y'all. I'm sharing with y'all because we're family here, and I know that y'all not judging me, right.
Right, bitch, Come on, cancer, I'm talking to you. This is a judge free zone, like in your face.
One time I had my friend brought her baby over and I thought, what if I threw this baby over the back of be right?
But I would never do that.
I don't know why that came into my hand, and I was just so uphill with myself for even having their thought, and it was just like, what is that?
You know? But why the fuck intrusive thoughts when you say them out loud? Why they't funny like that? Though? I don't know, that's dangerous as fuck, Like why is it that funny? Let me think of Oh, I had one just this past weekend. So we rode bike Sunday and then we walked this. It's a new park over here. It's only been there for like a year, but it has it's like this long ass like walkway out over
like Marshland, and we walked across it. As we're coming back, I'm actually talking to my homegirl about some shit, and then I'm all, because you know, just thinking about like what we're going to talk about this week and things like that, I'm like, maybe I should, Maybe I should. This is what I'm thinking, I should push this lady.
It was a chunky white lady like walking towards us that she had on an orange shirt that said boom, like a Halloween shirt, and in my mind I had already seen her falling over the fucking walkway.
Mm hmm.
I already saw her doing it. So now my thought was, is it really intrusive if you can say it out loud?
If yeah, are you doing this speaking your intrusive thought?
But I don't think that intrusive thoughts are like okay, so I know there are usually negative thoughts, but is it actually negative to have an intrusive thought?
Yes? Why?
Why? Though? Because I think it's just it's just regularly you know. You remember a couple months ago, there was this whole write up about how some people don't have an inner dialogue, like they don't talk to themselves essentially, like they don't have like computing. That's what I That's what I felt it meant, right, That's how I like
interpret the article. But yes, they don't really have conscious consciousness because that's what that inner thoughts are, like your subconscious mind, and this is what we work on daily to try to reprogram right so our subconscious thoughts, the positive ones, can manifest in the real world. So my question now is if you have an intrusive thought, No, do crimes start as intrusive thoughts and then once you perform it, it becomes the reality.
Perhaps it's no longer intrusive thought if you act on it, I think.
So is it that some of us like there's a filter in between the intrusive thought and reality, and that's called morals. So now, this is why I always say humans are just sophisticated animals, because if you take away laws and religion, people get to live out there intrusive thoughts because nothing's going to happen to them but good and evil. We should know, right, It should just be an innate thing to know what is good and what is bad. But some people don't have that filter.
You should not, but what if.
Okay, now, look, let me add an extra step to this shit woo Halloween. Like, I'm watching this series on Amazon called The Devil's Hour. This lady she's waking up every night at three three three. You know, thirty three is a very significant number. So she's waking up every night at three three three. But there's this guy who they perceive as being a serial killer in the show, right,
but he's not. He's trying to catch people who are bad people, who are innately bad people, right, He's trying to kill them before they commit the car killing the good person, right, And she's she's having she's waking up because she's seeing premonitions of things, so she's kind of thinking she's going crazy a little bit. But they're kind of like intrusive thoughts because she doesn't she doesn't know the people right things are happening to or things she
has to do to somebody, she doesn't know them. So in her to her she's going crazy because of these and she's happening these intrusive thoughts, but they're actually she's seeing the future, other people's future. M hm, So could that be what an intrusive thought is?
I mean, if you're seeing people few, I don't like.
Bad shit happening to somebody else.
Yeah, but that baby never went over the balcony, so that's not you know, a permanent if it. If it goes on to happen, then that's just like some miscleos psychic shit. And the trusive thought is typically something that you are right, so listen, it says. Truscive thoughts are disturbing and involuntary thoughts that seem to appear out of
nowhere and reoccur again and again. They're often violent, sexual, or sacrilegious in nature because they're in a sharp contrast with the person's values or beliefs that can produce feelings of guilt, embarrassment, fear, shame, and disgust. So it says, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, approximately six million Americans.
Have intrusive thoughts.
Not everyone who has them suffers from a mental health condition, but the frequency and the intensity of intrusive thoughts can point to underlying mental health issues. Hmm, all right, So examples of intrusive thoughts slitting your own wrist or throat, leaping off a building, Clifford bridge, jumping in front of a car train, pushing a stranger in front of a car train.
Why is that funny? Are we serial killers at heart?
Oh?
Listen?
Stabbing a loved one, dropping a baby on the ground, exposing yourself in public, having sex in public, engaging in a pugnant sexual act, vandalizing a place of worship.
I should tear this church up.
Why did they make it a place of worship? Why the they't making it? Like? Then? Truse, So the intrusive thoughts do people kind of associated with like a like a spirit coming over you right quick? Because why would
they say vandalizing a church? Yeah, that's what I'm saying like it's sacrilegious, because when I think about vandalizing some shit, I'm thinking about, like if I catch this nigga at a restaurant I introduced him to, I'm going to fucking clear this table with my forearm and flip it over, Like, is that an intrusive thought? Me seeing like me, me thinking about seeing this nigga I fuck with somewhere and doing that.
Mm hmm.
That is, but I'd actually fucking with though, So there's that part.
Well, then I don't know if that's an intrusive thought. Is typically things that goes against your moral compass, you know, things that you would never do, but your mind is saying do it.
Shoplifting, So then it becomes I meditated, right now you should run out of here with this ship. Yeah, that line. Then it's a thin line between thinking about it and then then doing it. So thinking about it is just so continuously thinking about.
I don't know.
I just I gotta study this. I gotta know now.
I'm like, I gotta.
Study intrusive thoughts because I think the way we think about them is wrong. Innocence you mean, like the okay, what are you where are you reading that?
From uh Newportinstitute dot com. I sent it to you.
Okay, I just feel like I don't think intrusive thoughts are bad, and I think they're actually natural to have intrusive thoughts, and I don't And I think if they say sixty or six million or billion million people, I think it's way more than that. But some people are probably embarrassed to tell people about their intrusive thoughts, so they would never take a survey, you know. So are intrusive thoughts natural?
Well, obviously it's natural of six million people in the right experience, and that's just the number that admit it or you know, or based on statistics.
So that number.
It's probably much greater.
But okay, but that number sitting next to people who are actually serial killers and who actually do crimes, Like, is it really a problem?
Yeah, it's a problem. Really is a problem because.
It's not a problem you never do it though.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I mean as long as you don't act on an intrusive thought is not a problem. But I mean if you're like, all right, so I thought about throwing that baby over the balcony, right, but instantly I was like, no, get that out of your head right, and I never thought about it again. I didn't like every time I saw the baby, I was like, I want to throw that baby off.
But that was the only baby you wanted to throw you never want.
No, that was the only one time I ever thought that baby is something? Why did Yeah?
What if you see that's the movie The Devil Hour, Like he realized, like this thing, I'm thinking this thing, but it has to happen to this person because this person is bad.
So maybe you're saying that baby's gonna grow to serial killer.
You're saving ten other lives. No, for real, you see, you see, you see where I'm going at with this.
Let's see where you're trying to go. But I don't. I don't think that baby. That baby is a sweet baby.
So I don't know. I don't know why I thought.
That about that baby. I felt instantly bad.
It's it, And that's what in truest of thoughts typically will give you immediate guilt, you know, or just you know, negative feelings to me.
Because it's only the moral, the laws, and religion that kick in. But if those things didn't exist, imagine how many people would actually act out on the intrusive thought.
Right, but it's a good thing that they do exist. You know, morals almost aligned with good and evil.
Like I think without those mechanisms, right, I'd still be at heart a good person. I still wouldn't act out on these things because I don't really want to bring harm to anybody else, no matter what the law says I can do.
Right, That's what I'm saying. Having morality isn't necessarily.
They doesn't have anything to do with legality, right, right.
It doesn't have to do with the law. Like even though if you know there's a law, he's thrown babies over the bathman. Honestly, you can't do that, but you're innate desire to, you know, love key is and care for children and nurture children would make you not want to. But then think about this, in nature, some animals kill their kids.
Yes, that's what I'm saying, So we say that now. I used to be obsessed with looking at people in prison because I'd be trying to understand, like why people go to jail, why did they do what they did? And you've seen these cases where a mom said, well this my child was possessed and I had to kill her. That type of stuff, right, and if majority of the people in America are Christians. Right, So we believe in the Holy goals, we believe in all these different things.
But you don't believe that somebody could actually be possessed and God told this person to do that? Why cannot why can't that not be true?
Right?
You know this person was actually evil, damn.
But but this is high though, you know, how do you do how you who gets to decide that God told you to do this? You know?
Well?
See this is why I always say God is within you. This. I don't want to get religious really, like make this a religious conversation. But when you know God is in you, you do shit a little bit better. You do shit differently. You don't violate people. I feel like in America in particular, the judicial system is literally the Bible. Like these people
have the right to give and take life. Like right now, you got a couple other people out for execution in South Carolina, Like, why is it that they get to decide who dies? Like even if that person did kill somebody else, why do y'all collectively get to sit in a room and decide to kill that person and it be legal?
Right?
Like, imagine if those people like judges and stuff. Maybe they're actually serial killers and they get to legally kill people. It might give them joy to do it, right. That is fucking scary, and I do feel like like the system is being ran by a bunch of sadists as far as I'm concerned. Halloween, Any other intrusive thoughts you ever have, Like I I'm trying to think of something real nuts that's as crazy as it gets for me, Like hitting somebody. I always think about hitting somebody real hard.
But again, I might do it, but a random ass person like, why am I having that thought? And if my head out loud and laugh, is it really intrusive?
Okay, this is another one that I can't believe I'm sharing with y'all, But I love y'all so much. I just tell the truth.
I have had intrusive thoughts about like Donkey konging the bitch on the top of her head while I was doing her hair, like taking my place right on top of her head. You didn't do nothing to me, but I was like, what if I just this bitch right at the top of her hair right now?
What happens?
Yo?
Your client's go ahead this episode to be like you know what, let me find me a new was it me? But what did they do? Like maybe that person needed to get thump in the head? Maybe that person nothing. You don't know that though they may not have done anything to you. You see, I just feel like.
Advocating for like following up your dupe of thoughts.
I just feel like we don't know though. It's so many things that we don't know, and the more you learn, you realize you don't know shit. So who was to say that intrusive thoughts are a bad thing?
Some of them can be really bad though, splitting your own wrists?
No, that's bad? Yeah, well, okay, Well I won't talk about that on the show because I think differently, even about suicide.
What do you think about suicide?
I think that this is our like we we should have the right to choose whether we if we want to live or not. Like it shouldn't be against alaw to kill yourself, Like you try to commit suicide and then you aren't successful and they get to lock you up, Like that's some bullshit. Some people literally feel like they don't belong here, you know what I'm saying, and they want to get the fuck up out of here, and I think that when people get to the point of
actually because it's hard to kill yourself. It's not easy, it's not easy to follow through. That's probably one of the hardest things somebody could actually execute. Right, So imagine if you are in that state of mind to where you're comfortable leaving this plane, maybe in that moment, the person knows something the rest of us don't about the other side. That's how I see it.
I mean, I get that understanding, but my only thing about it is if you do that and you're not successful, now somebody got to take care of your ass. And you can't take care of yourself no more because you wouldn't good at it.
No, don't do that.
That's fucked up, like you know, trying to shoot yourself and then it doesn't work right, and now you just mangled face.
And it's hurtful to me.
I was just doing it again.
I was sorry. Everybody that loves you is hurtful to them, you know, Like suicide is just a hard thing.
People see it as selfish. People see it as selfish, but everybody had like I. However, people choose to live their lives like I'm coming to a place where I'm okay, right, I'm talking about what people I love, however they choose to live their lives. Like if you have somebody who abuses drugs in your family something like that, you have to be okay with that because they are so who are you to tell them how they you know, if they enjoy doing what they do, who are you to
tell them not to do it? Right? So you just have to support people and whatever it is that they choose to do for their lives, because you're gonna rec your brain otherwise. All right, let's go over some ways to deal with no hold on pull on before we go, though, because this is the one thing I meant to already say. You know how i'd be saying niggas be gay in the mind. That's an intrusive thought type shit.
I think, Yeah, that's an intrusive thoughts. Sexual acts can be intrusive thoughts.
I think if a man a man thinking about sucking some dick, but he's not gay, that's an intrusive thought.
Yes, I think there are a lot. I think most men are gay in mind. They have intrusive thoughts about being gay, but they men never may never act on it, which is why they act on stuff like the aggression towards women. It might be because they have gay intrusive thoughts.
But they can have intrusive gay thoughts that are intrusive. But that doesn't mean they're gay or they want.
To be gay, does it.
No?
I don't want to throw no baby off on a balcony. That shit just popped in my head. Like so he could think about sucking some dick that in his head.
They don't make him gay. He could be like, oh, what the fuck is that? Get out my head? You know what I'm saying, Like, it doesn't It doesn't make him gay. I don't think so you do. I haven't an intrusive thought, and a sexual fantasy is different.
It's like it's like borderline gay.
And that's when I say, I don't mean guys that gay is bad, because I know y'all gonna be in my dms like why'd you say no? But I'm just saying someone who isn't gay might have an ick for that, you know, popping in their heads.
Right, So I think that's something to talk about. I wish we'd had had a guy who could be honest with what is intrusive thoughts.
That's a heterosexual. Yeah, it's not happening. No straight guy is going to come on the show and admit that they've had gay intrusive thoughts.
Why though, it's just intrusive. You've never done it, You don't do it right.
Yeah, but it's just you know, the people starting to question their sexuality a j So what you just did it?
You just like, I don't know, it's like gay, it's like this just mentally gay.
Mentally gay is crazy. Okay.
Everything starts in the mind, everything, all right, So how to deal with your intrusive thoughts?
All right?
By themselves? Anxious thoughts, even violent thoughts, are not harmful. Simply put, they're neutral in nature, byproducts of a wandering mind. It's only when people react negatively to intrusive thoughts in or feel the need to act on them, that they become problematic. Various evidence based techniques can help adults cope with or eliminate unwanted negative thoughts, including the following strategies
and approaches. Okay, here's one mindfulness. Rather than push intrusive thoughts away, try to notice these thoughts and label them as intrusive. One way to do that is to practice mindfulness meditation. This type of meditations helped you observe your thoughts from a detached place without becoming emotional about them or judging them. So you can sit comfortably in a quiet place, bree deeply, and imagine you're looking out the window of a moving train as the scenery passes by,
notice it without judgment. Then do the same with your thoughts. Notice them in the present moment, but don't attach yourself to them.
So then next thing you know, you pushing somebody out the train and the thought.
But you gotta separate, Yeah, because I mean separate your thought from you. That's just a thought.
It's not me.
It's not a part of me, No more different than this tree moving past in my mind. So that's one way to separate yourself from that thought. Another way writing. Another way to gain, however, your obsessive and trustive thoughts is to write them down. By typing your thoughts out or writing them down on paper, you become aware of disturbing thought patterns. Often after you've written your thoughts down, reflect on how what no, reflect on what you think trigger them, write down the triggers too.
So I mean I'm having a good day, I rode my bike. I burned some calories a day, Like why am I thinking about pushing this random lady who I don't know?
I don't know, I can't They're not answering why it happening. I mean, the worst she probably does is eat boogers, Like why do.
I want to push her?
That?
Oh?
They say pet therapy is an excellent way to dissipate anxious thoughts is to spend time with animals. Because they live in the present moment and have no understanding of troubling thoughts. Animals help humans reduce stress. In fact, at twenty nineteen, studies showed that the undergraduate students who participated in.
Participating dissipated why should participated in ten minutes of hands on interaction with cats and dogs from a local shelter has significantly lower levels of cortisol, the stress homeone in their salava compared to those who don't.
How they have like the cats and cats in the prison. But the only thing is like, why y'all got them cats in jail? Why y'all y'all literally locking cats up too? But I can see how it's very It's very animals can be very therapeutic, you know, God dog is God spelled backwards like. They just make you feel good. And I believe cats can see into the future. Bitch, there's something majestic about cats.
The next one is time and nature. There's nothing like nature to boost move and reduce stress. The sight of an a sunset that sounds of bird trapping in the trees, the feel of wind against your skin, the smell of the ocean, even the taste of rain drops on your tongue can ground you in the present moment. When you're focusing on the five senses, you're not focusing on distressing thoughts.
Another one exercise. Exercise is an excellent way to just help everything because it gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy, yes about killing people, Doubamine and serotonin the same thing you get from scrolling. Get it from exercises in a much groller level.
You think that people who watch like because I talk about the genre of like true crime and how it's so entertaining, especially for women, y'all love watching all of those true crime murder type shows, and shit.
I sister, love that shit. I don't be liking that shit.
That shit weirdess hells to me, how can you go to.
Sleep for somebody like literally screaming in agony from losing a loved one, And all of.
That is in your subconscious mind while you're sleeping too, So that might be embedding in truth of thoughts in your mind subconsciously. Like I listen to meditation stuff or I listen to like books in my sleep, you know what saying program in there. But I cannot listen to kill, kill, murder, murder shit like while I'm sleeping. That is wild to me. So I think it's feeding something though that that person needs that. I feel like that's something they need to talk about in their.
Yeah, absolutely, why do you like that? So that's the thing when to seek treatment for your intrusive thoughts. So, if your intrusive thoughts are unrelenting, cause pronounced distress, or interfere with your daily life, seek professional care. Unproductive obsessive thinking can be a symptom of an issue that requires treatment.
So mental health professionals are skilled at working with intrusive thoughts that stem from anxiety disorders, history of trauma OCD, and attention deficit disorder, and mood disorders like depression and bipolar disorder. So if you you know, if your interests of thoughts are like to the point where you can't stop thinking about throwing that baby over that balcony.
You can, I think you try to talk yourself out of it.
No, I only thought about that one time. But that's just one that really like shocked me. You know, it shook me to my core, that popped into my head, you know. So I just use that as an example. You know, everybody has their own thing, but that was the one for me that really like made me feel like, am I sick?
You know?
Like I think filling your brain with positive things, not just I mean they're gonna help. So filling your brain with positive things, not watching and taking in negative stuff all day long, because social media does it right. So one minute you see a cute baby, then you see a cute dog. Then the next thing you see some little boy that got murdered, you know. Then the next thing is a happy thing, the next thing is a
sad thing, the next thing is a neutral things. So like your emotions is going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down. Like I do feel like some of the things that we we taken, whether it's you know, consciously or subliminally, it's programming these intrusive thoughts. But these are not our own thoughts, and I think that is the most important part about the whole conversation. Right, they're not your thoughts. These are somebody else's thoughts. They
don't belong to you. Yeah, so let's remove the my because they're not my intrusive thoughts. They're just intrusive thoughts. Yeah, the intrusive thoughts. They don't belong to me.
Yeah, that part.
Yeah, it's just too much. It's too much shit on TV. That's why I watched TV that much. When I watched something, I'm learning something from it.
Yeah. I was just watching.
Bad Boys, the uh, the one that just came out because I wanted to see the fine Mexican son o. He is nice looking, right, Oh, he fine? But his mom was Hispanic, I believe, Yeah, I don't know if it was.
I think it was just say Hispanic. Don't ever call anybody Mexican because you don't know if they're from Mexico or not.
But wasn't that where he went. Didn't they go to Mexico?
Well that's well, I think he might have. He might have been working for the Mexican cartel.
Okay, well anyway, I said that just because of the story. But I just like, look, he's handsome.
So but I just looked at all the killing in the movie and how all the people were just it didn't matter, Like people were just getting shot and stabbed and killed and just then we move on to the next thing, and I was like, damn, like they make death so gradual.
Yes, it's glorified now it's it's so casual. So we are.
Desensitized, yeah, very desensitized to it because like people were just dying and it was like, okay.
Next week.
You know, I never feel like not with real I can see. I guess you have to be able to differentiate, right, real from fake because when I see like real death, like somebody may just be like social media or somebody knew in real life like that shit, it feels real every time. Yeah, TV, I don't know, I've seen this, little boy.
But if you're a child, if you're a young person growing up now and you're seeing all this, you watching these movies where people just getting killed and TV shows and your mama watched First forty eight to Go to Sleep, and you're just growing up with all these all this sensory overload of death.
Are you gonna be fair when people die?
How? I guess that's how people can just pull up, pull up and do shit, take a life, just thoughtless.
Yeah, you get to play call of duty all day long, thoughtless killing. So you practicing, you know. Just I know that kind of went away from our intrusive thought things.
But this is because intrusive thoughts can lead to real action. Mm hmmm, So is it really an intrusive thought? I guess it's only intrusive when you don't actually act on it. Once you do, it's premeditated. It's a premeditated thought. M I don't know. Let's let's focus on happy thoughts, y'all. Do something, yes, do some to day to make you feel better?
Yeah, feel good? Yeah, masturbate that's my last last. Everybody masturbate today.
I'm thinking about your masturbating. I'm thinking about it. But I don't know. Intrusive thoughts, I don't, I don't. I just think that intrusive thoughts should not just be negative. I think intrusive thoughts could also be positive thoughts.
They just what is it an?
The word intrusive meaning you didn't invite it right, yeah, right, okay, I got it. Positive thoughts, y'all.
Puppies, puppies, cats, rabbits, and lots of money for us all yes and stars, little sprinkles, fairy dust, all that stuff.
I mean cake, lots of cake.
Oh that's my favorite thought.
From public cream cream, cheese, nutting, bunt cake. Make me happy, that's fat.
I know that shit got way too sugar, it's so good.
The lemon one, it is so good.
That should make me sweat when I eat it. I think.
All right, y'all, think big bitch and think positive.
Amen.
All right. If y'all enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on a Black Effect. iHeartRadio app but way, but the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host, A J. Holiday two point zero on Instagram. Hey, one quick thing, let me add this in there right quick before Tam tell y'all her goodbyes and her love using a Wonderland USA. It's w A N d E r l A N d U s A. Click the link tree link in the bio. This is a black owned campground and vote vote for this to be the
best campground in Georgia. Okay, we're supporting all black people. We support all things black. Am Okay, Jonathan, all right, that is wandering Land USA. Check it out. Okay, Sam, go ahead, go ahead.
Ahay y'all, Tam bam. Loved y'all.
Let that be your thought for today. I love y'all so much, and I really really appreciate y'all. Remember speak now and hold your babies, hold your up. Yeah A stamping my throne.
Goodbye,