Lil Fine Shyt

Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.

What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up Big Tam Bam?

Y'all, it's Tam Bam. I love y'all so so very much. I love you to AJ. How you doing.

I'm fine, y'all.

We just got finished.

So that's why, bitch, I'm fine. I don't think we should all the things bitch. I was outside Saturday.

It was cute too.

Yeah, I'm posted my dress. Yeah I bought that dress. Uh So let me back up a little bit. All right, So y'all, there there are some elite black people in Charleston, thank god. Okay, No, people be thinking Charleston just is super ratchet. But this little crowd of people like from age I don't know, like thirty five to thirty eight, like they really be having shit going on here. So don Lucci Prosecco and Rose is your first black owned

I that's full shit, that's what way to look at it.

Yeah, and I got there when I was supposed to because I still got things done. But man, the shit was outside. It was hot as fuck. But it was beautiful. Okay, it was so beautiful. And these men they pay attention to the very small, intricate details of everything. The girl they had caveat. They had pizza with their little brand. Everything was branded, the candles, the pillows on the on the sofas.

Uh.

They had somebody sitting there paint because it wasn't a museum, the Gibbs Museum here in Charleston, so they had their there are different. They got three different wines and champagne. They had it like you know how you put in like the glass case like a museum. It was so nice. You go in the bathroom, they got the bottle with the little lampshade on it, like like, how y'all know to do this stuff? Everything smallest details? Yes, I love that it was so nice, and yes, I had my

Sitting up so good. You haven't it didn't.

Look like nothing, girl, girl, I almost put a brawn. I glad I didn't boy, because that would have been milking. And I had ship on underneath that dress. Nothing.

I think like since I lost weight, I lost titties too, Like I just think I need a boy.

So at this point, leave them titties alone, because I know, you know people who have since gotten them titties removed.

I just up at the top, like it's all sitting up.

We'll get the fat transferred to the titty down't see how long that last? Instead, I wonder if I get my back exactly. My homegirl had got her body done in Saint Louis a long time ago, very like whoever she wants to. If I get some shit done, I'm flying to Saint Louis because it was like very very natural.

Because I want something. I put my fat in my titty because.

I didn't get titties though. So what her doctor told her is that all of all the women, the white women, all want the fat put into their titties, and all the all the black women want the fat put in their ass. So she got the fat to the ass. Okay, so she ain't get no titties.

Take my back, put it in my boots.

And if you need some extra fat, I'll don't how big you want them.

I just want I don't even want bigger titties because I don't want big titties. I just don't want like they just all my girth is at the bottom. It's just like a slope, like a beginner's ice skin slope. You go flat across the top and then like a little cuppage at the bottom. I hate that. So I

That little stuff it.

Don't it's too tight at the bottom. We'll struggle with that.

Mm hmm. But that was my outside. I was outside all weekend, y'all. We did a Sunday fun Day brunch from I was outside from one to eight on a Sunday.

Oh you was outside this week? Yeah.

Now I'm recuperating, bitch, I've been fasten. I'm not eating until Thursday. This watering the water fast. So yeah, don't be getting my nerves. That was the first thing I said. It's like, girl, I'm like really like texting you back, like I haven't ate. I'm gonna need you to get off my nuts because don't y'all sucking hung Im about to take a bite out of crime.

If someone saying can you send that a SAP, does that mean right then or does that mean as soon as possible? I thought, as yeah, let us know what y'all think. Somebody say I need this a SAP versus can you send that as soon as possible? Afterny for as soon as possible.

Which one y'all prefer. Don't tell me to do shiit asap because I can't.

I can't do nothing A sap sandwich, that's a problem. You had to say what She would have just read that and be like cool. But because she was hungry, it was all like crazy.

Or because I had a lot of shit to do.

So listen, my weekend. It was my besties dad's seventy seventy seventy. I can't seventieth birthday say that shit to save my life just now. And they were supposed to go to New Orleans and all the flights out of Charlotte got canceled from for a storm. It was like bad, Like the airport was just crazy.

It was raining.

No, it was just lightning storm.

That's crazy. It's been happening over the whole country. One of my people in Texas was saying they had an electrical storm, Like so shit was going out because of the thunder and the lightning.

Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't raining, It wasn't. It was just like the real sharp So they just couldn't fly and like a couple of my clients got grounded. They were going to New Orleans, my friend her and her bad. So we was like, we want to still make his birthday a good one. So we took him to this restaurant in Charlick called Deluxe Fun Dining where the food comes out on like all these crazy trays and smoke and like different stuff. And we started we were drinking,

Oh hell no, bitch, I was so dehydrated. That was so dehydrated and need to go get some PDA.

Yeah I did, I did. I got me. I got a watermelon and I ate a whole watermelon and I drank four bottles of water in Apedia, like just to get myself back together. But yeah, that was my weekend. We turned up for his seventy years.

That's fun.

Yeah, it was a good time. But I don't think I like liquor no more. I think I'm done with liquor.

That's not my homegirl. She just had a baby, and she was like, I don't think I'm a drink no more. Like I don't even miss it, Like why I'm drinking. I'm like, yeah, it is poison, you know. I'm always consciously aware of what it is that I'm partaking in, and every time I drink, I'd be like, man, I'm just poisoning my body. And that's why I don't drink often.

Luckily, me, me and my best friend get together. We just be fu like.

It's just fun. I want to be loud and cussing and talking loud like I don't want to be sober. Everybody else drunk because nah, I'm like.

Mad, irritated. Yeah, y'all are ignorant, you know, but that was my weekend and now I'm finally getting back. I couldn't even go to the gym yesterday, y'all. It was so bad, Like my doctor was like, if you try to go to the gym with this blood person right now, you might faint. Just stay home, drink water and put your feet up. So yeah, that's what I did. But I'm going today to this evening.

Let's getting the sins they doe. So apparently female frogs take their death to avoid meeting with males they don't find attractive.

It's not just us, it's not us.

The only difference is if we fake our fucking death, the nigga stole might come and try to hump on your ass, right.

They like they're talking, full body limp, floating upside down, even holding their breath. It's the ultimate ghost move for a frog, like I'm dead. I'm dead.

Now, I did that in a relationship now, pretending like I'm sleep like we get in might that I'm planning to have sex and all that shit I done changed my my mind by the time we get home, Like I'm I'm pretend sleeping hard as hell.

I definitely pretended to be sick to not have to do it. I ain't think i'mna rock bucket.

When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there. When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there. Like we gotta do this.

Sometimes it just don't feel like it, you know.

Yeah, and then you can't deprive your partner of sex. But god, damn, I'm gonna just be acting like a frog.

Be dead.

I'm dead. That's our little kids be. I've then one eye open. I'm dead now. They't gonna be like, OPI your mouth.

They do not care.

We're dad man. They're still trying to hump on you. So I'm frogs.

Statistically, if you live in Utah, you're more likely to get married than if you live anywhere else in the United States. According to the CDC and Sisters dadd and you Tak consistently ranks among the top states for marriage rates, with over twenty one point nine marriages per one thousand women. Damn, that's it, well above the national average. With culture, community values, or early commitment norms. Utah makes marriage more common than anywhere else. You know.

You sent this post to me and when I saw it, I went to go google. Are people in Utah generally pretty? And they actually? You know, because I was thinking, like, you know, I started his post on Instagram one day and I don't know what I can't remember what city it was, but he was like, man, everybody in the city ugly.

How about Columbia? So I'm Carolina.

No, Colombia is not ugly. People in Columbia are not ugly.

So but remember that man was like, yo, I'm in Colombia and all these bitches is ugly and they ate him up.

Oh we had him on the show, I remember. But meanwhile, you're looking like, I don't know, doctor Umar reject, Like you look like a doctor Umar reject, right, Like.

How do you do that? And they call it somebody ugly?

Yeah, Columbia has very beautiful people. But I can't remember what city this person was in, but he was just like, I see why everybody coupled up here. Everybody ugly. So that's what I was thinking about Utah. But apparently Utah is like number twelve on the list for most beautiful people.

So maybe that's where I need to go. Looking from our partner.

You gonna get your partner for sure, a partner in Utah. I don't know who the fuck is living in Utah. Maybe they got a good military base with some niggas hidden over there. See about it, Yeah, Utah. So another study shows by age thirty five, many women have stopped chasing fairy tale expectations and instead they seek peace and

It's so funny because I was on the phone with our producer Taylor yesterday and I was just talking about this nigga ot and uh gave back to the streets and she was like, you know, talking to me about like the fairy don't you want the fairy tale? And I was like, I don't believe in that no more. And she was like I was like, girl, yes, I don't believe in no fairy tale in it no more. What I want is And it's so funny because the things that are listening listen here is exactly what I said.

Let me finish up the things like. It says, things like emotional intelligence, shared values, in common direction, and life start to matter more than chemistry alone.

Yeah, that's why it's so funny you said this, because I was just having that conversation like I don't need all of that no more. I don't even want no fine nigga, no more like fine, ben off the list of what I want. I mean, don't get me wrong. I take a but it's not on the top of.

You take a little fine shit.

Yeah I was. I take a little five ship now.

But it says the change isn't about giving up or settling. It's an intentional choice. Experts say that this shift is influenced by everything from social excuse me, from societal pressure and biological clocks to professional goals. So for many women, it's about finding lasting happiness in a sense of security. And I think that because women are, you know, putting their happiness at the forefront. You don't a set a lot of things, especially when you're happy with yourself like you,

Asked me about this guy she saw at the party that I used to date. She was like, remember that, God, I was like who she was like describing him? And I kept saying, who bitch, And she's like, are you serious? Or you do you know who I'm talking about? I said, oh, bitch, cause you.

Did that the last time I asked about that dude because I saw him another time.

Who knows?

Yeah, man, So we started, like you know, you just start prioritizing different things in life, Like you know, I still want to find little shit because I don't have any kids. I want to make sure I got a super fine kid. You know, I'm not that selfish.

I don't care about fine.

I don't care.

I don't want no ugly ass nigga, but I don't want I don't care about him.

You gotta be fine to me. Yeah, to me, that's all that matters. I don't revamp my whole LOWD list, right the things I'm trying to manifest in a partner.

I care more about fitness now than the.

Fine exactly exactly. I get on my ass, let's go to the gym, let's do all the things. And then also, you know, what's really important to me is like diet, because I don't feel like having to cook somebody something different, like I need people to be on my diet. I'm sorry, and it's people out there on my same diets where I don't got to touch chicken for them or touch a piece of steak. They gonna eat. What the fuck I eat? I need a little baby, ask and listen.

Because I want a piece of steak, give.

Me, Well, you go out and get it. I shouldn't have to touch it, because it's more real spiritual for me, like the consumption of meat. I don't want to shit. I'm leaning towards like I'm trying to really stop eating seafood, but it's just so hard because I'm a fishead from Charleston, South Carolina. It's hard for me not to eat seafood, but I'm do it one day.

You're a chickenhead. I don't know how this hample to you.

I'm a fish head. You a chicken head. I don't know what you what y'all got in Columbia? What Columbia got?

What do you mean?

Like? What is Columbia like known for aside from being the capital.

I was just thinking the Confederate flagshit, Like what y'all got the flag?

What the fuck else is going on Columbia? Like esthetically don't even look good? Like I just always was depressed. The landscape isn't nice.

There's shining faces and beautiful places.

Like, what the fuck is the trees and the flowers? And shit? We got palm trees and Charleston.

Okay, where is the Yeah, where is the palmtal tree that they always talking about on the flag? Y'all?

Damn in the middle of the state. Y'all ain't got nothing. Y'all ain't by the water.

Yeah, speaking a little fine shit, let's get into it. We'll be right back. I ain't seen aj Sis April in person, like we get together. We record every week, but it's been audio. We're back filming. As soon as she walks in the door, she don't even say hi to me. Y'all.

She says, you look like a dyke. I said a little bit more high pitched though, Like nice though.

Say how you said it?

You ain't a dyke.

I'm chilling. It's a big chilling vibes.

It's hot. We don't never coordinate. That's a problem. See, i'd be oneing like maybe I should have this on my wrists, right, So you want to dress alike, not dress alike, but coordinate, like we really like two different people. Yeah, I know, but we can still like be cohesive a little bit. You know, that's my favorite.

We are cohesive this I only packed dress one hundred thousand degrees outside.

You got a sweat past, So what are we talking about? That's all I got loose. I thought you had just off the road or something. Let's let's get in a five shy month. It's pride month.

It is shout out the prime month. But I'm not gay. But I love him today because it's Sunday. Other than that that asked me, I am not those promote that, all right, I won't.

I'm sorry anyway, y'll you know what I want to talk about today because I am having a lot of I feel like we both right, alright, we have a lot of transitioning going on in life right now. And y'all know we like real young too. But I don't know, I feel like at this age, you still end up in these these situationships with people. I know.

Listen, the last ten years, it's been a see all of them. I haven't had like a solid that's my man, my man and my man. No, it's been situationships.

I haven't had a situationship in a long time. I always end up in relationships. But I'm like, do I need it a situationship?

I think yeah, I think you should like calm down on claiming a nigga so quick.

At this age, at this young age.

Because you just need to I like, just see what it is, you know.

I don't thought that type of time but for the younger folks. But I feel like we at this nice age, we still end up in situationships. And what qualifies as a situationship in today's dating whatever we got going.

On, So chat GPT did not answer the question for us, So let me tell you what I think.

Listen.

I think a situationship is a relationship without any real boundaries or parameters or like title. That's all the situationship is. Y'all in a relationship, but y'all don't give it a title.

So my definition of situationship because one person is probably in a relationship. Any other person is in a situationship. A lot of times when people start labeling things as a situationship, one person usually doesn't know where they are and they want to be in a relationship, but the other person is essentially putting them into a situationship.

No, they're not committing It depends It depends because it could be like two single people, or it could be one single person and want somebody that's in a relationship already, or it could be somebody in jail, it is somebody free like, it could be all kinds of things that make it a situationship. And that's why they don't put a title on it, because they can't or they don't want to.

I think oftentimes one already wants to put a tie on it, right. I think sometimes people are escaping like having to be like really like intimate, you know, having to express real intimacy with somebody, So they put them in this situation box where they're left in limbo and don't really know if they're in a relationship with this person not. But y'all doing all the things. See, I went from a city, yes bitch, you are, and I

Can I say that, Yes?

You can? Trump is president, you can stay retarded. Okay, that's just hated. But it left me feeling like, am I tripping? Like because in his mind, I believe he thinks because you know, he didn't have to be he doesn't have to be accountable the things he did prior to the engagement, right, all the fucked up things. We really wasn't together when that happened, but we was building businesses that we were absolutely together. So this is why

I prefer I have been known to prefer.

A situationship. No, I don't prefer. I don't like me is just so boxed.

It has been so boxed in for me, I start feeling like claustrophobic and like I can't breathe.

You know, maybe I'd be like that too, And that's why it's just it's almost like at two years, I get kind of antsy mm hmm, I get kind of like.

So you start feeling like you're ready to leave? Yes, I start feeling stuff, That's what I'm saying. Like I started as soon as we start talking about like being exclusive, That's when I start feeling like and it's just just.

Way before two years at least, I'm in the relationship and you're feeling stuffy. You like, soon then they can start talking about a relationship about it, and.

Yeah, what do you think that's about?

Though we already talked about this, Timmy, you like the unavailability of people. I think you know what I'm saying. So I don't know, and I might also I might be the same way, right, but I'll stay in a thing a little bit longer than you do.

But that's not true. I just don't put a name on it.

That's a fact.

I just don't put a title on it. I just I struggle with that. Once we start putting titles on it, it just starts getting that's so masculine of me. I feel like, though, I feel like that's that's something a man would say and not a woman. Typically a woman is the one who's like, but this has been my entire life, every like serious with relationship I've ever had. I was given an ultimatum commit olie. Yeah.

Interesting the two times I always tell you you a boy and here you are Elliott shirts.

So what sweaty is? And I feel comfortable?

Fuck that.

All right, So why are they so common now? Because I feel like.

I think social media and dating apps, you know what I'm saying, Like it's just hook up. It's just like a hook up society essentially now, Like people are so people think everybody's just so replaceable, Like Instagram is a whole holo dex So the minute this one act up, you can just go in there and scroll scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, throw the fishing line out there and see who catch.

I enjoyed the variety of new people, but I don't want to have sex with them. Like if I could have like multiple boyfriends that I didn't have to sleep with, that would be ideal for me because I enjoy like the company. I enjoy the perspective of new people, but I just don't want everybody did.

Yeah, you know, we talk about nominogamy and polygamy and all those things. I just don't know. How do you how do you learn? Right if you are restricted to this same person for the rest of your life, Like, how do you get new information and new ideas? You know what I'm saying, Because some things have to come with a little bit more intimacy, Like some conversations you might have with people.

But then there's something beautiful about finding that one person.

You know nothing about that. I said, it's one of us.

I said, there's something beautiful about I've seen it, you know, like growing finding that one person and y'all grow old together, and then that's beautiful. Like I like my ex boyfriends. Aren't her and her husband they're in the cutest thing. I haven't seen him in a while, but they're still together. He still get jealous, like he still love her so much and she loved him, and they're so cute. You know, that's so cute. But I just feel like it's hard to come by that now.

They know.

Ever since listen, since Remy and past Poos broke up, I just feel like everybody do.

Man. They definitely I thought that was.

Gonna stay again as that could stay, huh.

It was definitely never a couple, not a couple of goals, but like out of prison, that's all he did.

I just thought they were like very like urban and cute and like locked in with each other no matter what.

I don't know. Mike like Ahs like the Hardships, my ultimate like ghetto love story love couple. I like Gucci Maine and Kishi Kor, Like I felt like they established like, oh, niggas about to start getting married. Gucci don't got married. May are about this black men are about to start guessing an example more because Gucci main got married and to glow up, you know what I'm saying, Like he came home a whole nother person. Some people think literally.

He was not himself, but yeah, okay, that's a good example. But they were similar, maybe not as glamorous as Keisha Kor and Gucci, but like just a beautiful urban couple.

That was locked in. No, I don't like that word urban.

I'm just trying to be like carrag so niggas, so niggas that was locked in with each other, and I just I enjoyed the seeing that. And it wasn't the man that went to jail. It was the woman. That's what made it different. You know, like he held her down while she was in jail.

And that's why I feel like a lot of men probably don't have respect for Pappus. You see all the jokes online. It's like he like he's the woman and he likes these tough He likes tough women, you know what I'm saying. So do he like tough women for a man to be just your woman is in prison for shooting somebody, like you didn't do that type of time. Your girl didn't and you waited for her like that is what.

You waited for her, Like you said it like very like that's condescending of him.

Gender roll flop flip flu fuck.

It is because his new cheek kill whoop ass? When ain't gonna talk about her too much? She can fight, I'm not skinned. It also, Remy obviously has guns. She can fight.

Who's trying to fight? So have you ever been in a situationship and like couldn't leave it because of emotions?

Yes, I just got out of a situationship that I was in for a long long time. And I still think about him all the time. But I had to get up out of her. I broke my foot behind that ship, y'all. I broke my foot behind that ship. And that's when I was like, all right, you know what, girls start, go go and get your life together. So but it's like, it's a what's the word I'm looking for.

Yeah, I feel like anything confusing is the devil. If I'm in any any situation and I don't know exactly what's going on, it got it like only the devil will be trying to confuse you like that. So why would anybody want to be engaging with anyone and not just tell them what's up? Hey, I want to fuck sometimes? You know, I was dating somebody who was too honest, right, See that's the problem.

You wanted to get ass honest. But then you're talking about he too honest?

Like I would call him like you want to do something like I want to come over and he and he would say shit like I kind of want to, but then I don't.

And how would you receive that? Because what does that mean?

What the fuck does that mean? You know what I'm saying. So when he started liking me more, right.

When the tables turned, I always.

Kind of like at I was at the tail end of the bullshit at that point. I was tired of being in a being in a situation with somebody like that's not even courting at that point, because we like a year and a half locked in you don't have been to my mama house. We'd be chilling. You know what I'm saying. We're doing the nasty.

Oh, I know who you're talking about.

I'm taking your places, pulling out with your ass and Chelsea boots. Oh, Chelsea, don't.

Don't fuck with no niggas who wear Chelsea boots. Okay, niggas sent me a picture this weekend with Chelsea boots on the boots on the ground. Because he was.

Get so, I was always feeling confused and I couldn't really check him on stuff because you left.

The door open and he was honest and you were he was honest.

He's single, and so am I essentially. But when I started like just hanging out a little bit extra or not being as available, he actually told me like he don't like how he feels. Well, I have been feeling like that for a year and a half and we could have been together building a whole life. But obviously I don't know. It's not too late, child, Lease it is too late. Okay, it is too fucking late. I'll play around a little bit.

But I'm just scared I'm gonna choose the wrong person and end up by like I feel like if I don't like start going to therapy and like working through.

I let you go to therapy. I stopped why.

Because my therapist became my homeboy, and it just was like our relationship changed, our dynamic change, so I can't can't be my therapist became my homeboy, you know, and we started talking outside of therapy, and it just no longer became uh a safe space. And that's why that's why he was giving me free therapy. No, he was giving me excellent therapy. But and he still does a little bit, but it's not like you know, ongoing therapy

Why is today? I think it's just you know, you you're in relationships with people and you start learning things like every relationship. Like the other night, I sat down, Remember we have our list of the kind of I'm going through a breakup right now, y'all. Okay, it's been going on for months, and I revamped my thing based because I have new data now, new information. I know more things I don't like now, I know more things I would like now, you know, out of a partner.

Have you discovered things that you need to be as a partner?

Absolutely, And I also discover things I'm just not as a partner. You know what I'm saying. I'm not the most thoughtful person, and I've.

Really that it's so crazy.

But I definitely show up for people in a million other ways. So like, I know, I'm not the like the friend who going to see some shit and be like, oh, actually might like that, or telling you might like that and I would buy it. It depends maybe sometimes right or shut up, I probably watch you some shit. I not bought a bit some shit before. I've never bought

Although you saw my candle, you just kept on walking.

You know why, because I couldn't leave that big ass candle in the car because Melt and I live on the third floor. So like, I had a bunch of shit, you know what I'm saying. And now add on this fucking thirty pound candle. Yeah, but they are in there, and I'm buy you a candle. Okay, I'm gonna buy it.

My birthday is in two weeks.

Oh, I'm gonna send that candle. Got it?

All right?

We're so yeah, I'm not we cooked back, y'all.

We're gonna see if I got that fucking candle.

I'm not that thoughtful in a relationship. You know. I like flowers. I like flesh flowers, like my dude he would bring me. I would have fresh flower.

Oh, let me interjet. Have you used any other ship that I haven't bought? You like them books in them journals and you.

Bought me two journals. You bought me a Gratitude journal, which I probably have like six entries from that.

Year, and so toy twenty one.

Yeah, and it's it right.

No, I bought you another another journal. It was like a daily planner.

Yeah, oh yeah you did. It's a little black one. So it's on the side of my bed next to all the other ship that I don't be using. Yeah, but I do have a spell book I write and that ship all the time. That's it. I know what to get you mixed and it's leather bound.

Go on contibity bubbity boot bitch. Listen y'all when I walked in. Also, she gonna say bibbity bobbity pebbage. Take that shit off.

Because what is happening?

No, I'm chilling today.

Yeah, so I don't know. I learned, Uh, I do have Everybody comes with bullshit. I definitely don't want a situationship for any next anything. And I'm really not even uh.

It's hot outside.

Yeah, I don't really feel like men right now. I really don't.

So you don't want no man for the summer?

No, I don't no not to need a man for the summer because I want to be pregnant by the end of the year. I don't know how that's supposed to work. So you don't want to go on a vacations, Oh, I'm going on some type of something.

So you gotta have you, You gotta have somebody to do.

It would have to be a situationship. It could be a friend. I feel like situationships come with a lot of emotions.

So hold on, wait, wait when you say a friend, what's the difference are you gonna if you go on a vacation.

Typically vacations clue a male friend that you're having sex with.

So that's the situationship. No, I don't mean, what's the difference.

That's why I think that situationships this is a totally different thing. Situationships come with emotion and it's usually one person.

You can have a like, it could be a situation. It depends on what the situation is. So you can have a guy like I know a girl like one of my hair clients, she got a guy who she deal with. She got a man, he got a girlfriend. They see each other out in the club and they together, they hook up, and then they go they separate ways, and they do that all the time.

I don't think that's the situationship. I just think that they're they're too adults who enjoy having sex with each other, Like that's the situation. No, I think yeah, and then and they like link that's they that's their situationship. You said it's deeper, it gotta be deeper. I think it is.

No, it don't, it really don't. It just depends on what the situation is.

A lot of times people be in situations I.

Feel like you gotta the only the only thing you gotta be doing to be included in the situationship. It has to happen frequent, and you gotta be having sex. And that's the situationship. And it's just different situations. What's the situation y'all not together, y'all having sex frequently? What's the situation?

I don't know. I don't think. I just I think I have a different idea in my mind about what that thing is. So you got to be I think men benefit more from situationships women be wanting. I feel like it's limbo. You're stuck in a live and and and uh, you're stuck in like purgatory relationship. Purgatory essentially.

You know what I'm saying, you want, But not every woman wants to be with that nigga they're in a situationship or man that they're in a situationship with.

You don't really want to have at this big age, I do not want to have sex with somebody that I don't like or I don't see the futureship with you're saying. That's why I said, I like variety, but I don't want to sleep with all these people. I don't want to sleep with none of I just want their energy. Oh, I mean energy suck. Yeah, I want to, like I want to. I want to be in there, like I want the vibes.

I create vibes. Though I create vibes, I bring good energy, and I be wanting to be around good energy. But I enjoy variety, you know, in different perspectives.

Mmmm, I don't know what. I guess that that would be just be dating. I wouldn't I enjoy dating. Yeah, that's dating, you know, like, and you should date, right, And I think more women should date and not be having sex. You don't have to have sex with everybody you hanging out with.

Listen, I don't have sex with nobody. It was so funny. I was with my you know, I'm not even gonna tell that story, no telling, No, I'm not, because that's what I really enjoy their company. I don'tant to even share that business on here.

Do you think a situationship could ever become like a healthy relationship? Yeah?

Absolutely. Sometimes it's just like two people having fun and then it turns into something else, it turns into more.

You don't think it could happen. It does happen.

One of my friends right now, she's with it, locked in and they got two kids. It was a situationship. They would like just be like travel buddies. They meet different places around the world, you know, vacation they were like vacation friends. That's what they would do. And then she got pregnant and then she had a baby, and they still wasn't like when she got pregnant, I don't feel like they was like really locked in like that. You know, they fucked with each other hard, but and

And that was a situation ship. Was she talking to other people? Was he talking to other people?

We don't know, We don't Yeah, she was talking to other people, Like, yeah, she was dating and I think he was too, you know, but they were just like they had enjoyed it. And that thing went on for like eight years before she got pregnant him, before she got pregnant by him, I know. And now they got a beautiful family. So it can happen. It has happened, It does happen.

I don't know. I don't think I can be in limbo too long with somebody, Like I've definitely done it. And when you when you want more, you want stability. I don't. I'd be wanting to, Like I always say, I like to feel single in relationships, but I don't really like to be single.

So you think it I'm the reader hearing it says the emotional burnout of being almost loved. So you think, like situationships is almost low.

Yes, I do, I think, And that's why I said. I think men and men benefit more from situationships because they don't have that. They don't have to deal with the emotions of a woman, right, they can just say, hey, excuse me, sweetie, we not together like that, Yeah, we smashing raw.

But that's you say that, Like the situationships are always because there's a woman who wants to be with this man and it's not the case.

What's the percentage? What is the percentage? It's so many fucking flute fries fruit flies flying around in the here.

I know, what is it?

What is the percentage? Then? Because I think like it's a high percentage of women who are stuck in relationship situationship purgatory. Then men, I don't know.

I don't know. I think especially these young girls, these young girls is out here not caring. They really don't care. I care too, That's why I do. That's why, and that's why I don't. I don't be fucking like that because I like we fucking I'm in love, like we go together. I don't want to be I want to be with you. So that's why I don't do it no more.

I stopped.

Like once I turned thirty two years ago. It's shit whatever, Just stop doing that because it's just something about sleeping with someone and sharing your body for me. It just I feel connected.

Yeah, I don't.

No, you don't feel that connectional.

So we put a little poll. I'm trying to see if we got any any responses. I wanted to hear about other people's situationships, y'all, I would love we like to hear other people's business. Okay, so call us. You don't like you don't like being nosy. I like it.

I get tired.

I like it. I get tired, y'all call it, call it, call us and tell us about your situationships called nine one, nine, four, ten, seventy seven, thirty five, and tell me all your motherfucking business.

Listen, you got three minutes before it's gonna hang up on you, and you got a call back, so put your timer on or something.

I think situationships are dangerous. I feel like everybody should stay the fuck up out of them. Children come through situationships. We need you don't You need children with both family, both people in the household. When children are born out of side situations and situationships, it is a strenuous relationship at that point between these two adult It's not Nothing good comes out of situationships.

I mean, I get what you're saying, but I mean, in twenty twenty.

Five, get off the damn dating apps. Go out.

There is a lot of I mean there, let's be honest. The black family unit has changed. The dynamic is different. You know, a lot of black families are in different homes, They're not in the same household.

And where is that getting us? We are fucked up?

So yeah, yeah, but that's the reality of things.

Though, you know, it doesn't have to be the reality of things. I'm for people not being in situationships, like actually date people you know, and actually get into actual real relationships. Start your families, do things the right way. Like you know, I'm not no super religious person, right, but the Bible basic instructions before leaving earth right. The Bible does give you a pretty nice instruction guide on high to live so you don't get fucked up, you

It says don't fornicate period until you're married. I mean, we're going if we're going biblical.

And it says nothing about Mary for love either. It says if you can't sustain from not having sex anymore thing, you should find a wife. So I don't know, I just feel like people are I'm I'm stressed out about the black community right now. I'm not black, nom more, y'all. I forgot to tell y'all, I'm gold with a little degreen.

So listen, how you stressed out about a community you don't even belong to it anymore?

The word uh not expatriate. I have uh not excommunicated.

Your expet from the black community.

Not expat I'm looking for h I have divested. No, I'm not divested.

I'm gonna say now you divested from the black community. It's crazy.

No, I'm not I divested, but I just it's a lot of things that we got going on. I just don't agree with you, know what I'm saying. So listen, if you.

Are so situationships are one of them. You think that relationship or the hooked up culture gotta stop. It's so crazy that you your age now, you know what that reminds me of, Like my grandma telling me these are last days. And I'm like, Grandma, You're seventy years old and now you're talking about it's our last days and I'm just a young bud.

You know why is that you feel with me talking to you right now?

No, I'm saying you talking to the people, not me talking to the audience, like saying, you're not being in hellas situationships in your life, and now you're telling.

Hella, I have been in one. I have been Excuse me, I've been in two situationships in life. Okay too, Compee girl, Well, if if it turns into a relationship, wasn't really a situationship. I mean, like I begetting to the end, it was never nothing else going on. I'm tired of saying situationship anyway, don't uh, y'all.

When y'all watch this, I want you to watch it with your homegirls and take a sip of your drink. Every time we say situationship. It shouldn't go out to the day party or stuff like that.

Anyway. What's your last last time?

Listen? Life is short. Do what makes you happy, you know, do it feels good, but just be prepared for the consequences of all your choices. That's my last last.

Y'all. I choose clarity over confusion, because that's all my situationships is offering. If you don't know where you stand in someone else's life, if you're having a call another bitch to ask her if she's fucking with him, fucking with this man, you you gotta check in with somebody else to see where you stand in this man's life. You are and that's super duper situation ship. Get out

This is what it is.

I guess anyway, y'all. If you enjoy this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeart radio app. Where the fuck you get your podcast at? This your.

Yeah it's Sam Mam. I got on T shirt and sweatpants. Maybe that's the energy I'm giving today. Maybe I am a dyke today.

Fuck you bitch.

Remember to speak now and never hold your nuts.

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