"I Don't Need a Therapist" with Elliot Connie

Talk or talk talk.

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talks.

What's up, y'all? Thank you for tending them for a new episode and we talked back.

The show dedicated to you, Dreamers and Chases the Coach a j Holiday two point oh.

If you're nasty, what's up?

I'm feeling like you say, like niggas and bitches when your perod on and then when you off, when you're ovulating this Dreamers.

And Chasers, who the hell starts to show up talking about my period?

Me?

You're wicked?

Absolutely not. It just depends on how crunk I'm feeling. And shit, if I'm feeling like a real nigga, I might say to you niggas and these home. If I'm feeling a MANIFESTI not a manifesty manifesting. It's Dreamers and Chase you manifested today. I'm manifested today, bitch, I'm sprinkling.

Well, what about the weekend? What'd you do over the weekend?

You can't hold on? You can't see this bust down metal. You're straight her, y'all.

I've never worn a bust down middle Park went straight hair and it looks good.

I like it. It's a it's a look, it's a look. It's giving.

I went to my best friends Priscilla. Okay, Priscilla is a hairstylist. She works on film The Motherfuckers is on Striker right now along with the writers though, but she turned forty this past week girl, so we had a nice little celebration and she was so beautiful.

Bitch.

Yeah, she had a wardrobe changes and all types of shit going on.

We had a good time.

I ruined my weekend, though, so we hung out all Saturday and then I don't know what possessed We went to breakfast at Barney's, me and my other friend, and then I went home and took an edible off her kitchen counter, and that shit put me down from.

Six to fucking six.

You was in the bed just yes, like.

Coulding move Now. I can't say that. I don't want to do it again.

I just can't have shit to do because that was a nice little comatose damn feeling what I did all weekend.

I'm giving the fuck.

I ain't just another iron do shit weekend. I'm like not drinking and I'm not smoking right now, and I'm not having sex and I'm just not so I've been in the house like not nothing, not nothing, reading and going to bed at nine thirty. So that's been my weekend. I don't have nothing and working out. I've been working out, Like last week, I cycled forty miles.

Nice, that's the most I ever did any Nice. You gotta bicycle? Why you don't ride your bike any.

Because the weather is just so weird, Like one minute it's hot, the next minute is raining.

I don't know, pack some water, bit I was packed some water and get outside.

But that's all. That's all good. It sounds like you're doing some detoxing. Yeah, unintentional detoxing.

So yeah, it wasn't intentional. It's just happening this way. Well, I did remove the penis from my life on purpose.

I don't want no male right now.

Gorilla Glow was on Angie Martinez Show, and she was saying, like, right before Gorilla Glow, Glorrella.

Girl, I don't know what.

I'm sure you name Corolla, Gorilla Glue, look look no, but Glorella said, right, but for her little fuck.

Nigga free song came out of her and her homegirl like me like a pack like man, we ain't fucking with nobody for six for sixty days. And she said, like meditating and fasting and all types of ship.

And then look at.

Wallet right where you get these fun boys out your life?

Man?

Because men definitely, I guess they feel the same way about women. Could be a distraction, a bad relationship.

I'm just gonna stay away everybody from everybody intol. Drake get here next month. So there's sad. You heard your hair set it up?

Huh you already set it up?

Yeah, I set that up. That's emotion. That's emotion.

Maybe I watch I would come to your fucking house. You got a Drake name in a jar somewhere, and that.

Is that something to do? Is that something I can do?

I will put it in.

Drake gonna come to Charlae? Like why do I keep thinking about this person named Tamala?

Like what is happening? I just gotta find her. He ain't gonna know why.

Drake gonna beat hit his Instagram story, Tamala, Tamala, are you if you're out there?

Hear me?

I'm here, baby, I got this meanwhile me while I got his name in a jar with a chicken head or some shit we's stirring that ship up, y'all.

That's jokes.

I would never do anything like that because I don't know how to because I don't know if I knew how to get.

Attention as everything. Yeah, I just intention as everything manifesting.

With my thoughts, not no chicken head. Let's get into stupid internet news.

What we got going on?

Child?

Oh, Bob Barker died from the Price Is Right. That's like a piece of my childhood dying. When my grandma used to babysit me. We watched Price Is Right, Young and the Restless, General Hospital, Days of our.

Lives and all mash.

That's not like my un birthday girl in the back of the restaurant. We got a soul for restaurant here in Charleston, that's all. She used to watch that same little liner. What happened to the daytime shows?

They still come on? Do they?

Yeah?

You just out living? That's what grandma.

What's the last time you've seen a daytime show? And who are the characters now?

Victor Newman is still getting it? What?

I don't believe.

Young and Restless they need to.

Call that old and rest Y're old and rested because y'all.

Y'all should have rested by this point.

I had to look that up and see if it's actually God.

I don't believe they still come on.

Who's watching that? Like, how do they have the rating?

There's still people like getting older and watching that ship?

I don't watch, right, Pat Man, I always wanted to go on prices right, he too, like I in my mind, I know how to play all the fucking games and Ilko Blinko, Yeah, I.

Love playing always be fucking up.

Yeah, and don't it's concerned, like you can't guess they'd be like, how much is this fucking vacuum cleaner? Is it more than eighty dollars or less than eighty dollars? And this this vacuum cleaner got Bluetooth screened on it. It kid, it got hos, it got all kinds of shit.

It's more than eighty dollars.

Clearly, why are you to my least stand? I used to be so mad at them people, even as a little kid. And Plinko I used to love that game too. But rest of pizza Bot Barker, he was ninety nine years old. He had a long, good life, So that's a blessing. He stayed right up onder a dollar all he used to say, come on down. Now he went on up.

In the name of Jesus, say man.

All right, So speaking of bar BARKI, y'all listen, let's go ahead throw this in there. Michael Jackson's birthday was on Tuesday.

Happy birthday to the greatest ever do in life. There'll never be another artist in our lifetime that comes to close close to the celebrity he had. That man could, that man could stand on stage silent, not open his mouth, and not do one dance, not kick his foot one time, and the whole all them white girls and people be screaming past fainting.

It's his energy, man, his energy was too much for this, for this real. And Michael said, Man, I'm getting the fun up out of here.

I think he meant to harn it. I don't think he meant to go though.

Mmm. Some said he not dead. I don't know. There's a lot of mm hmm. All right, p Michael, all right.

So a Canadian KFC marketing campaign is receiving backlash of social media after many users find the imaging to be culturally insensitive.

Okay, so images from the campaign are starting to go viral after they were posted to x Twitter by x F.

Well you know Twitter is now x so it's posted to X by KFC Canadians director of marketing. Once the images began to receive criticism for their lack of diversity, the director of marketing apologized and shared a sixty second commercial that says it's more representative representative of Canada's diversity and their creativity.

So it's just some black people eating chicken, and shit.

Love chicken. I love chicken.

If I was in that commercial, I would look just the same way eating that chicken. What's the problem.

Okay, I don't like chicken.

You know, I don't eat chicken, and I don't remember KFC tasting good for many years. To fo, I stop eating chicken? Is that really the healthiest thing for niggas to be eating? Absolutely not. Stop marketing that shit to our people any topic, which is okay.

But I love chicken. The KFC and Jamaica is so bombed.

Every time I go to CA Jamaica, I'm gonna have that KFC and get them little wings.

I have wings.

Yesterday I happen to enjoy fried chicken, and if I was in a campaign for chicken. That's how I would eat the motherfucking chicken. You know what, It just it pisses me off. Like the June Teeth celebration and they had like chicken and strawberry soda and strawberry cake and watermelon and all these things and people were mad about it.

Black people are like, oh, this is this culturally insensitive.

It's what we enjoy.

Now. We ain't gonna have no watermelon and fried chicken for June Teeth because y'all mad what y'all want to eat?

What y'all want to eat for jew companies?

Like what more do you want from Ray?

People just be mad about finding anything to be mad about. Meanwhile, student Loan is still crazy. That's what we need to be talking about, not no fucking.

Campaign.

And I didn't do my full due diligence with this story, right, So is it white people that were feeling some type of way because it's black people.

In the utensils?

No, because if you look at the full sixty second video, it's all kinds of racist in the video, right, But just in those billboards, there's black people and their reflection in the silverware, and they look to be like munching on some chicken and having enjoying it. And it's and I guess it's black people that are upset about it. But judges, I just feel like y'all need to find something else to be mad about.

Yeah, I don't lend my energies no bullshit. Nowadays, we got bigger friends to fry. We got way biggert shit to worry about. Y'all see COVID coming back down the pipeline? Right, is your house in order?

All right? We got Are you prepared chicken to fry? No pun intended?

Are you gonna be duped this go around? Are we gonna stand together? And I'll be complicit with the government.

I know one thing.

I'm about to get my only fans backdrop all thegether for when it happens, because I'm not gonna miss that money this time.

I promise you that I'm gonna be on there like NPC.

Oh yeah, grace, yes, yes, good, yes, yes, yes, thank you, thank you, thank you, yes, yes.

Thank you. No speaking of her, he's so good. I sorry.

Brown skin, how she get herself light skin on? Their? What kind of filter?

Staying with everybody else? Light skin?

Put the heavy makeup on top of the filters, on top of it. She's a pretty girl.

She's pretty brown. That's crazy.

Maybe it's a lighting.

It could be right now.

Yeah, that's because like the light is coming through my window. So I really have to dark it, black it out in here for it not to look like this. But yeah, so maybe maybe she has a lot of lighting in her apartment.

Bitch. I don't just look light skin, I look like this is my whole soul. You've see in right now?

Oh?

Really?

Is that what it is? Is it is no light shining in on you?

No, it's my soul.

Okay, Well, y'all, AJ soul showed up to work today. Thank you, So y'all we had Thank you, stupid. We have Elliott Connie on today and he's definitely going to give us a mini therapy session and possibly you two, so tune in.

We'll be right back with him in just a second.

Yeah, all right, y'all listen.

So today's guest. You know, it's pretty fitting for we talk back. He has lectured all throughout the US and internationally. He's a psycho therapist who specializes in solution focused brief therapy. He's the founder of Solution focused universe and maintains a private practice.

He's written and published four books. Okay, he's a big deal. Also feature in a breakfast club recently, and he's a fellow podcaster. Y'all.

Welcome mister Elliott Connie. So we talk back and yeah, hey, thank you for coming.

Free therapy. Yeah, how you doing, man?

I'm doing great. I don't love the word free, but I'm doing great.

If it's free, it's for me.

Just happy to be here. I'll do whatever y'all want.

Ooh, go threaten me with a good time.

Okay, best hour of your life coming right.

Up, y'all, So listen.

I think that uh, millennials are probably the first generation of people who try and tie their adulthood back to childhood.

Right.

So I wanted to talk with Elliott a little bit today, you know, about what he does as a psychotherapist.

What exactly is psychotherapy?

And I want to talk about childhood because I'm going through it right now, okay, with family, absolutely.

I'm going through it with these niggas. So we're going to talk about family. Then we go to talk about these.

What do you want to start? Ask me anything you want?

What is psychotherapy?

Psychotherapy? Is just it's counseling, right. Psychotherapy is addressing your mental health concerns or issues through counseling. Even better, stated, the way I would like to think about it is psychotherapy is healing. It's about healing.

So the type of therapy that you offer this solution focused brief therapy, Right, what's the difference between.

That and cognitive behavioral therapy?

And then what's the difference between those two and just counseling or a life coach basically right?

So, well, a life coach is not usually a licensed professional. Right, Between solution focused brief therapy and someone doing cognit behavioral therapies are usually in my position, that's a life since professional life coach wouldn't be. The difference between solution focused brief therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, however, is like night and day, like the way that I do there, Well, let me go all the way back. I had a really,

Do you feel you about to cry?

Tamn? Hold on No. I was listening because I'm thinking about the therapist I had. I mean it's a bitch. Had me like, all right, I want you to write a letter to your parents and your childhood. And it happened.

And then I wrote this letter and I was She's like, okay, let's read the letter out loud, and I was like, crying hard, it's not and she was.

Like, okay, that's her time.

I'll see you next time. It's like, girl, you had me unpack all this shit for nothing, did nothing with it.

We read.

I read my letter out loud, and then I was supposed to do an event that night and I had to cancel because I had pulled all this shit out of me and said it on the on the couch with me and then just left it there.

It pissed me off so bad. I was like, I can't believe I paid this bitch.

And leave it on my couch.

She said about, well, that's our time. No the fuck it ain't bitch.

You better right.

To me like that. People we have this weird thought that like I should be able to ask you anything and you should be able to talk about it. So therapy is about making you and that ain't true. There's a lot of shit I don't want to relive and haven't healed from it. It just means I don't want to relive that shit. And therapy shouldn't be about tell

That sound good. That sounds way better than the shit I was doing, way better.

That's why I do what I do. That's why I write my books. That's why I travel the world. That's why I go in to breakfast club, That's why I do all these things.

Yeah, I was watching it.

I watched that interview before and you said something on there and I was like, Yo, you said, you're when your pain is your purpose, fact right, and it doesn't hurt you anymore.

I felt that that's true. So when you say come to a purpose, it cannot cause you injury.

I feel like us doing this podcast right, and we lay a lot of our personal lives and business out, so do a lot of other shows. Right, this has now and become our purpose because I feel like I'm one of those people who really don't need therapy. I can talk to anybody about my shit and I'm gonna tell you everything, right, no problem.

I could tell anybody a stranger on the street. I just need to be able to vocalize what it is that.

I'm going through and I might have to say it ten times until I actually get the healing and I'm over it. And just because I'm still talking about it right, doesn't mean I'm not healed from it.

Correct.

See, I'm different. I can talk about it till I'm blue in the face.

But if I don't have any tools to correct anything, it doesn't change anything for me, you know, Like I can express like what I'm going through with a friend and this friend and that friend and still feel it when I hang up with everybody else if I don't have any direction on how to fix whatever it is.

But that's why I know when your purpose is so important, right, Like, when you know your purpose, you can endure any hardship. One of my personal heroes as an example, one of my personal heroes, and I'm a reader. I don't know if you guys are like, oh, we're super readers. Reading the book Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela changed my life. And the reason changed my life is I read it at a time where I was like searching

Actually, were you able to repair the relationship with your father?

That's a tricky question. I'll say yes and no. The reason I'll say I was the yes part is I was able to tell him When I was nineteen years old, I was on the brink of like suicide and I was like, look, bro, I'm about to check out of here. And I realized I got to live a life where no one is yelling at me, hitting me, calling me names, and cursing at me. I was like, bro, I can handle anything not on this list. These are the four things I can't tolerate, but I'll deal with anything else.

And I think that's the experience for a lot of black kids.

Even right now, I see people cussing their kids out in public, and I feel like you've lost control as a parent if you have to dish that type of anger towards a little person who has half the life experiences of an adult. But kids get put on this pedestal and they're supposed to. You got to say things a million times. The kids they don't remember or they don't give a fuck, so you have to just you

So Tam and I don't have kids.

And I think if you live long enough without kids, like you, can you see different things, Like you see that kids are the blessing, right, So why would you disrespect something that I feel like chose you to come here and you just the portal by which the child or the spirit chose to get to this realm.

But you owe it to it to take care of them.

Oftentimes, even with your father, that's probably how his father treated him.

That's probably how he was parented. You know.

Yes, that's well our lack of parenting, so you thought that's how parenting was supposed to be, right, Yeah, Like.

My father and I often don't share this story because I feel like it's his part of the story to tell. But there is something that happened in my father's past that created a trauma. And I forgive him, like I genuinely forgive him. I still don't want to be yelled at, cursed, a hit, or call names, but I legitimately forgive him. And if he called me right now and said, man, can we talk, I'll be hell, yeah, we can talk. I don't have any negative feelings, resentment, angered, none of that.

Yet, and that adults don't love it, Like adults just get to say, I'm grown, but you're doing this childishit. You really need your ass whoop, not the kid. I'd rather beat adults, like adults need to ask with way more than kids.

I think that true. And how can we beat down some kid? And like the number one contributor to good decision making is self esteem. So if I tell if I'm beating down some kid verbally and physically, and then they're thirteen years old, freshman in high school and someone comes up to them and says like, hey, let's skip school, use drugs, go drinking, how are they supposed to make that decision right if we are not instilled in them

Yeah.

I feel like in the black community, we focus more on teaching little girls how to be well however they're supposed to be. Don't be fast, don't do this, don't do that, But we don't teach the boys that girl. Little girls are special. You're not supposed to run through them. You're supposed to handle them with care.

I think that's true. I think we have to treat we have to teach both. I think we have to teach young men the value of themselves and young women young girls. And I think we have to teach young girls the value of themselves and young men. Like I'm now I will watch I mean, I can't help it. I'm a psychotherapist, and I will watch it on TV, I'll watch it on social media, and I'm like, how are you letting your partner say this shit to you?

Right?

You need to leave this person immediately like red flags everywhere, like you need to go today. And part of it is because we haven't. We haven't taught them like you should hold people accountable in your life so they'll treat you a certain way, and if they can't love up that standard, they gotta go.

But it's not also in just what we tell our kids, because we can there and tell our kids like you need to have a man treat you nice and be kind to you, and then you get in a car with her and then you play my booty Whole Brown and all this music, Like you're playing this music around your child, but you're telling them one thing and then showing them something different.

Are you with a man who doesn't treat me right?

Right?

So you have to a child right?

You have to also walk it.

But that's what I mean, that's the standard. That's the absolute standard. If I if I were in a relationship with either of the two of you and we had a daughter, I would I would tell my daughter you are a queen. I would tell my daughter you are deserving of being treated well. And my daughter would watch me open doors. My daughter would watch me serving you breakfast.

Absolutely, I would just stand at a door. I will stand at a car door if I'm on a date and a guy just goes and gets in his car, I'll just stand there at the door, like, what's happening here? I got to teach people, Yeah, I'm sorry, what is happening here? How am I going to get in.

Absolutely correct?

Would you ever have you ever told like a couple in therapy, like y'all just need to call this quiz.

Y'all need to stop leave each other. Fuck alone, ma'am, leave right now?

No, I have not ever, because my job is to if they want to be together, my job is to help them do that in a healthy way. So rather than say like, leave right now, I would say things like what kind of relationship do you want to be in? And then how do you conduct yourself in a way that causes him to rise to that occasion and vice versa.

So, okay, I saw that Gunplay pulled a gun on his baby mama while she was holding the baby. What would you tell them?

You wouldn't tell how to leave if they came to couple's therapy. That's different than if she came to therapy. Okay, if she came to therapy, I would say, yeah, like you've got to go, like this is an unsafe environment. And it makes me think of that old Maya Angelou quote when somebody tells you who they are, believe them the first time? I mean times. Does somebody have to pull a gun on you before you recognize this is not healthy and or safe?

You bought a pull of gun first of all.

If somebody tell me their name is Gunplay, I'm probably gonna be kind of weary of getting played with by a gun.

Just me, just me, you know, I mean that's for me, the crazy pop culture we live in. Like you you never know, you know, you never know what people gonna call themsel But but my point would be, and I also think healing is accomplishable, and you can be called gun play and you can make mistakes, but some of these things are really super concerning. I saw that story this morning.

Actually, and I was like, so if they came to you as a couple, you wouldn't just be like, girl, you need to leave to hint in front of me.

If you need some help, baby, I take you out here right after this ship who if they ship behind that man back, Like we go to the restaurant.

Baby, I'm gonna pull the car around back and you just hop in and I'm gonna take you somewhere safe.

I know it.

Man, I know a guy.

If they come to me and they're like, hey, we want to have a healthy relationship to my job to help them accomplish it. And if they decide on their own that it's not accomplishable, then that's a different story.

Yeah.

I told that story just recently, Like the last couple's therapy session that I went to with my ex and my last relationship. That's I came to that conclusion, like, I can't do this anymore. Nobody had to tell me me just talking about this relationship. It takes approximately four and a half hours to tell you four years of bullshit, right. I came to that conclusion on my own. Just haven't talked through it that one last time. I'm like, I'm

I feel stupid. I feel stupid for all this shit I've endured.

And we have.

We have lots of friends throughout I have friends throughout my life and they will call me, hey, man, do you think what do you think about relation? I'm man, this is not healthy. This is not good. I have and now like doing the work that I do and working on a TV project and all these things. Like I hang out with a lot of celebrities and they will call me and I'll be like, no, you are not in a healthy relationship. But you know what they do. They call me a week later, still in the relationship

Keep your dumb bench shit to yourself until you're ready to go but ada.

What a therapist is for to help you, because I don't feel like it's.

Free at this point. He giving him free free therapy on the phone, calling randomly, But.

I'm trying to be their friend, but people don't. Therapy is not about advice, it's about healing and you, I can tell you right now, like you are in an unhealthy relationship, you need to kick the woman or the man out of your life. But they're not gonna listen to me, just like they wouldn't listen anybody else, therapists

All right, So let me tell you that that had of core, because let me tell you one of my triggers. I hate when a motherfucker tell me they're gonna do something and then don't do it and don't also communicate why they aren't doing it or why it's not getting done. That shit will get you xd out real fast with me, because I just feel like I have a lot. I've been let down by men in my life so much that even the smallest infraction.

It just I snap.

I instantly snap on a nigga real quick, like, what the fuck you mean? You ain't gonna be here at eight thirty.

You know? So how can I not be so triggered by people being unaccountable in that way?

They're not being unaccountable? Like, first of all, you have to heal from the wounds of men letting you down. Okay, that's the first thing I would say.

How do you do that? Though?

That's the thing because they probably go back to Daddy's. Yeah, it goes down.

It goes all the way back to my father. I will say that.

But that's how you do it? Is you like number one forgiveness, forgive your father. You have to forget. Like, let me tell you the story. So my father was a complete I mean, he just wasn't great. And I'll get like he tried, but it just wasn't in him. He was really aggressive, abusive, mean, nasty, humiliating, embarrassing, all

And because I forgive my thought know the wire, Hey, God, that's how I feel every time.

I don't be like that because I feel like there's gonna come in time, I'm gonna be late. But it's ain't it. We don't want him to wait.

It's okay to be late.

I don't.

I'm not mad about being late. I'm mad about the lack of communication before being late. That's what kisses me off. Like if you saw it was near eight o'clock and you knew you were supposed to be here at eight o'clock.

Nothing said to get your little Twitter fingers to text in and say, hey, I'm late. I'm running late.

But you know, of course, like I'm gonna be honest with you, I wouldn't call you either, Damn Elliott, I know I wouldn't call you either. And would you like to know why?

Why?

Now? I met aj at another event, But Tam, I think this is the first time you and I talked you.

Tam was there though she was there. We were in eighty five, Yeah, we didn't talk. Tam was definitely there though.

Yeah. Yeah, So Tam, listen, I've now been on this recording with you for like thirty minutes, and you are scary as fun.

I would think I'm the scary one.

I'm scary, not in a bad way. I don't think you're mean at all. But let me tell you what every man would fear. You're a beautiful woman. I got a crush on you. I've been wanting to ask you on a date for however long. And I ask you on a date, you say yes, and I'm now on my way to your house to pick you up. I told you i'll be there at seven point thirty. It is seven forty two, and I've been listening to you on the We Talk Back podcast. Tell me all kinds

That's childish though, right, that's some ship from childhood. Like you go ahead and do it and just to sap your punishment at the end of the evening, but why not hit me up?

We are adults, Yeah, because it's just the opposite.

I would appreciate more that you're telling me you're going to be late versus me just sitting here waiting on someone who I haven't heard from.

I think that that's a true and that's a good point, but I wouldn't go into that dynamic assuming that.

Kay, well, I just I give these niggas a little longer.

Leash these niggas, is exactly my point.

We're smelling different though, and spell with a ki niggas.

That's a little different. Respectful.

I'm saying, like, Tam, if you were where do you live, Tam.

Charlotte, North Carolina, Charlotte.

North Carolina, Right, Tam, I can tell you right now. If I called you and I'm in LA right now. If I called you in LA and I was like, Tam, you want to hang out, you were like, sure, I'll hang out. I don't have no damn clue what time I'm gonna get to your house because the LA traffic is absolutely crazy. And I'm a busy businessman, like I run a multi seven figure business. I've got all kinds of things I'm accountable to. There are times I'm on my way to pick up my friend Tom. I told

Okay, I'm gonna try it, Elliot, I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try it, but okay, I'm gonna just leave it at that. I'm gonna try.

That is a big trigger for me that I need to work on because I will so bark down an nick because because he's not because like because he's late.

You know, have you ever met any any person in your life that enjoyed being barked down?

They neck because I'd be barking. Do you like it?

I'm going I don't.

I don't like it, so I wouldn't like it either, which is exactly why I'm afraid to call you and say, hey, I'm running late for these reasons. Because y'all don't want to here's what happens. Here's what happens. Y'a don't want to admit it. But here's exactly what happens. If I call you and I say, and here's the fear. This is what goes on in the male suitor's mind. If I call you and I say, I'm running late because I got a call from one of my employees and

I'm gonna take a flight. I'm going through that.

That's what happened. That's what happened. And I would rather just show up with a with a flower and a box of chocolates, say tam, I'm so sorry I was late, and then hopefully you ain't gonna.

Bark down my problem having these niggas just showing out with Dick and do rags then, or don't.

Show up at all, don't show up and call you the next day like she nigga got up like that.

But that's the thing. If they don't show up at all, and if all they got, look it, if the only thing a man has.

For you, I'm talking of them bitches, I ain't talking about the people.

Bring to you. Is that that's not That's not the right relationship.

Dick do ragging A pull up bar lady, reevaluate why you funk with him?

Got it?

Daddy?

Did you have?

My daddy had the holes, but he definitely took it home. Like you're gonna at least pay the bills and ship like that it was a cheater.

Well, you just something I'm gonna work on. So should I like count or something to like not get angry? Like what's a what's a good one to like not get angry in that moment, in that moment where.

I'm two things, actually three things, tam you ready? Yes? The first thing is forgive your father and every other man that has created this wound. That's thing number one. Okay, Thing number two, I want you to tell the person that has just asked you on a date if you are late, let me know, or I will cuss your ass out, like why I let me know? Or I will rip you a new one. And thing number three, when and if they do, let you know, recognize they've

Okay, that's fair.

I'm gonna try that three step.

Okay.

So I want to go back to childhood trauma because I think I got mommy issues, right, I know, I definitely I don't think I have.

You know, the parent, the absent parent.

Usually is always like the celebrity. Right when they come around, it's like, oh, daddy. But constant usually is a black mom, right, She's probably yelling at your ass, cussing your ass. She's frustrated because she got to work all the time and provide, and Daddy get to do whatever he want to do wherever the fuck he's at.

Right.

So, now I've been back here in Charleston. I left a relationship and came home. It's how I ended up back here. And I think I ended up back here to try and heal some childhood.

Wounds, wounds a little bit.

Maybe I definitely have a problem with people speaking to me nice. I do not like anybody talking at me, cussing that type of shit.

And that's the household I was raising, you know what I'm saying.

So I think I have like my mom, she rather not talk to you if she can't talk to you how she wants to, So we can't sit down and have an amicable conversation without you getting that mad. And I find that in myself too when I start talking to people, when I get shited like over here, I can't control it, you see what I'm saying, So I'd rather not talk to you, don't, fucking bitch.

It's really how I feel like, what can I do right?

Because well, I have had I've actually decided. I think the first step to change is deciding right. So I've decided that I'm no longer arguing arguing with anybody else in life. The last argument I had was with Tam, and then I had one with my mom, and I have now decided that I'm not arguing arguing with anybody else in life. I promise, I swear to God, Okay, I'm not How do I how do I actually follow through on that?

Right?

Because Tam and I have a thing which she doesn't like hanging up. But if I feel like I'm about to get crazy, I need to go away, and maybe I don't even have the words to tell you, hey, I need to hang up right, or if I just leave because in my last relationship, I'll leave. I don't like confrontation in that way because I feel like we should have enough love and respect for each other fair

All right, Elliott, before you answered, did you think you were coming on here to give therapy or just talk about therapy?

Because I know, like that's both.

I don't give a fuck both.

I'm telling people what the fuck I'm going through mentally right and I'm asking for help.

Please.

You know, I'm happy to talk about all of it, man, because I think some of your listeners gonna be struggling with the same things.

So yeah, because our mothers are gods essentially, Like when you look at it, like your mom is your God. So you don't ever want to be at odds with God, you know what I'm saying. But it's tough dealing with black women sometimes.

Well okay, so I think you're trying to do something that is unrealistic when not arguing yes, because here's here's what's gonna happen. Here's gonna happen. Aj You're gonna because you're a strong minded woman. You're gonna make this commit to yourself, like I'm no longer gonna argue, and you're gonna bottle up these emotions for a really long time, and then you're gonna explode on someone close to you.

That's already happened though, you see what I'm saying, So going giving a lot of grace, letting people slide.

And I don't feel like that shitting. I'm over. And then I also don't feel like arguing anymore.

So here, let me tell you what to do.

Mm hm.

First, I want to talk to you about forgiveness because I would say the same thing to you about your mom that I said to Tam about her day. You gotta find a way to give your mom because she was doing the best that she can. And let me tell you, people think forgiveness is like what you were saying. I got to move back to South Carolina and figure out how to do this with my mom. I forgive my father, even though the last word he said to me was fuck you. Like I don't need to move

No.

I didn't move here for that purpose.

But while here now I realized that may have been the reason I ended up back.

Here's what I'm saying.

Let me tell you how to forgive. Can you tell me three things you love about yourself? I mean, like deeply love about aj.

I am funny, okay, I am. I'm a good time I believe.

Am I not nice tits? Oh he wasn't as sorry.

I'm smart okay, I can cook really well.

When I think of I'm just thinking about the things that make me happy outside of family.

Can you tell me now, you are obviously a very successful thing. You wouldn't have a podcast like this if you weren't. What is something you've achieved and or accomplished that you are just really proud of and mean something to you?

Right?

What we're doing right now, like we were just on a breakfast club. I just asked Ham early. I'm just like, you know, we're gonna go to homecoming. They gonna act like we regular, Like y'all niggas ain't been on the breakfast club.

We ain't regular, you know, you know?

So yes, I'm proud of what we're accomplishing with this podcast, even though some people may you know, be out here trying to dumb it down. But it's a lot of work. It's a lot of hard work, and we're actually doing it and we've been dedicated to it. And I'm gonna tell you I got a problem. I got commitment issues. I also have a problem with executing. Right, So, having had done this thing this long and sticking with it no matter what's going on, that's a huge accomplishment for me.

And I can't say that no one, no one close to me, like family wise, has congratulated me on it.

Okay, aj, I could almost get emotional now, like listening to you talk about it, like that's crazy. The way you forgive is I want you to find a way to be grateful for your mother for all of those wonderful things you just described about yourself. That's how you forgive. I can do that, and that I'll arguable because then you end up being like, gratefulness is one of the most amazing things in the world because once you place and gratitude, it leaks out everywhere and then you don't

Right, And so I am grateful, right, But when you're dealing with I'm grateful and I have a tremendous amount of self awareness. Right, But then I am and I'm in a family where not everybody does, and you feel like you can't just discard your family, so I take refue.

So whoever it may be, you have to surround yourself with people who get you.

Right, So there's no issues, And I'm not saying it's never gonna to be a problem, but it's minimal and y'all able to get through it, see the bigger picture and move on, right.

So we're dealing with seventy year old people. It's a little bit different.

No, I think that's true. But number one hundredson agree with you. You got to spend time around people that resonate with you. Number two you can just use I told my niece recently.

Yes, it don't matter who it is.

If this person is not making you happy, they're not a ray of sunshine when they come around, you don't have to deal with them.

That's even your mom anybody.

That's true. If you do not trigger healthiness in me, I don't want to engage with you. And the third thing I would say, your mother, How do I say this the next time your mother is yelling at you and not being nice or whatever she might do. I want you to find the thing even in that moment, that you would be grateful for, Like, I'm so glad I had a mom that showed me this is not how I want to live the rest of my life.

That's so hard because in that moment you're like, I'm so grateful that she gonna get the fuck out of my face.

And just the same you know, like it's so hard to do those things in the moment.

Good, that's true. I think that's true, but that's how you know. Like the thing I'm most I've written books, I've had, made millions of dollars, like I've done crazy things. I am most proud of the fact that I've never put my hands on a woman ever. And that might sound stupid, but I'm most proud of that because I

But have you ever wanted to slap a bitch like girl?

If you don't get or.

I God, I'm gonna knock across the county.

So you ain't never shuck a bitch.

No, that is, I've never done it, never done it. And where did I learn that? I learned that from watching my father and realizing I don't want to be like that. Yeah, and I'm grateful for that lesson, as ridiculous as that sounds, and mastering your own perception is having the ability to, in real time say, I'm so grateful my mother taught me how horrible it is to yell at people. That's why I don't want to yell at Tam, That's why I don't want to yell at

That's still not my normal like go to setting though.

It's like things that get me there, right, and it comes with the lack of the lack of respect you start having for somebody, Right, That's that's really where yelling and arguing and stuff things happen. And then you so you have to find a way I guess to get back the respect because I don't want to essentially disrespect somebody I love.

I don't, no, but you have.

You have to find a way to limit that person's access to you, Like if I'm continuing to disrespect you, Like if I come to your house and you tell me to take my shoes off at the front door, and every single time I come to your house, I'm like, man, fuck that, I'm gonna walk in here?

How I want to tuck your couch? Fuck your couch.

Eventually you should stop inviting me to your house, right, Yeah, So I think you have to think about if it's not my normal go to it's a process of me losing respect for a person, why are you allowing people that you've lost respect for to have access to you?

Sometimes obligation, you know what I'm saying.

And then also, I guess understandomes you also have to maybe see other people's perspective and how they perceive it, right, And now again that comes with respecting that person enough to see that they may have perceived a situation totally different from how you perceived it.

Correct. Yeah, but I'm also not talking about access in terms of proximal Like the event I met you at, there was a ton of people there. Let's say I had to be for with one of them. I can show up at the event and not give that person access to my heart, to my mind. I can just be around them, But you don't have access to the things that are important. You don't have access to my spirit, right.

Right. Yeah, I gotta work on it.

I gotta work on it. All that stuff stem from childhood. I think we are all like younger than our parents, but we're so much older and energy.

You know what I'm saying. I feel like I'm a couple thousand years old. Like I know I'm older than my parents.

I know my parents.

Anybody put it like that, Yeah, I've never heard, but I feel like we all deal with it. Nobody gets through life without trauma, scars and wounds. The trick is, don't live your life from the perspective of your trauma, scars and wounds. Mmmm.

I just see me now, Like when I'm going on another date or something and they're late and i haven't heard from them, and I'm just sitting there.

I'm just gonna be sitting there, like I forgive you, daddy. I forgive you, daddy.

Shut up. I'm so sick of you.

That's how I'm gonna handle it. So I don't go on.

And depending on who that man is, you probably gonna have a lot of grace for him. Very clear. You treating the ones that could be treat like that.

Across the board. If you're gonna be late. That's one of my triggers.

Yeah, yeah, just it's not just. It's not just late. It's like saying you're gonna do something and then not doing it and then not speaking it.

Tell them that and it's and by the way, tam, it is okay to have triggers like that is what we all have them, like we all we all have. One of my triggers is if you get mad at me, don't call me the next day me like, hey man, what you doing, because my I have to resolve the thing that we argued about the last time we talked. And the reason that I have that is my father used to beat this shit out of me all night and then I'd wake up in the morning. He'd be like,

Okay, And that won't scare a nigga off.

It'll stare the wrong nigga off, right exactly, We.

Will say the right one will say thank you for telling me. I'm gonna do every I have such a desire to be with you. I will work really hard to make sure I don't trigger you in that way.

Yeah, because that's like beating up a kid for not cleaning their room, but you never showed him how to clean their room, so like you beating him up for doing some shit he didn't know that would But I mean, it's it's common courtesy as far as I'm concerned.

If you're gonna be late, hit me up.

But what if I can't what if I can't. What if I'm so busy on ways dealing with LA traffic that I was nervous to call you.

And in jail, some bad batter happened, right who died?

But look, I don't want to It goes back to what I said earlier, Tam, I don't want to call you, and you answered the phone like I don't want.

To call you and do that you come elieve with the bullshit what happened.

I don't want to call you that. I don't want to call you that. But the right person will hear you say that and will honor all of your requests and wishes. And we all have them. Just because you have a trigger doesn't mean it's something wrong you need to fix. It just means that's part of who you are, it's part of your story, that's part of your journey.

That's interesting because I always thought like triggers were ship we had to change.

Like, no, we all have them. There is no way to de triggerify your life. There's just no way to do that. We all have them, so we all have to live by them, we all have to own them. We all have to recognize like this is who I am.

Mm hmm.

One of my times control tam, You and I probably could never date because I'm super spontaneous and I run late all the time. My one of my triggers is being controlled. I do not like. It makes me feel claustrophobic, makes me feel me because of the childhood I had. And I don't have to fix that. I just have to make sure I find people that don't control me.

So you feel like telling somebody if you're going to be late is being controlled?

Yes? I do for sure.

Damn I do too.

Man.

I feel like if I got to keep checking in with you, I feel some type of way like.

You're telling me what.

It's telling you what to do by not being late. So are you? So let me ask you this.

If you have appointments with your clients, do you are you accountable to them about time?

I'm I'm late for everything. I was late to this. I'm I'm late to everything, and it's not my fault. I was sitting here, man, I'm sitting at my dead at this little table, working, and I was like, man, let me go ahead and jump on a few minutes early. And I jumped on and and Chrome made me update and I was like that's just me, right, that shit happens. Shit happens, that's just my personality.

Yeah, yeah, I would be there trying to choke slam come a little closer.

But that's like, you have to know who you are and being in a relationship with people who can extentum and love you, including your flow. It's not gonna work if every time you called a dude to come over, you end up wanting to hit him in the head with.

A baseball, Right, they used to like that club very quick.

It ain't gonna work if that's the dynamics.

The love that.

I had a guy telling me to text me the other day, like, and I'm misconscrewing what he's saying.

Via text message, because first of all, it's text.

So you leave it till you read it to interpret what the fuck it is you're actually trying to say.

So he was like, you know, you got to cuss me out sometimes, like you got it put. I'm like, no, that's not what I want to do.

That's what his mom too, That's what I'm saying, Like he wants somebody to check him, but why are you doing things that I got to check you about?

I would have a different question. My question for me would be why are you in a relationships with someone who can't accept the kind of love that you give? And I'll give you an example. Clinically, I was doing Sometimes couples come to therapy with things that are just kind of off the wall, and I was doing therapy with this couple and she was like, I'm so mad at him because he won't hit me. And this was like the nicest dude you ever met in your life.

Oh, I already know you know what I'm saying. I already know.

I actually had to go back to the messages because it started with him saying I want you to be crazy about me.

And I said why, that's exactly my part.

And I said why he was like, if you fuck with me, I need you to know. I need to know you don't play about me.

I said, I shouldn't be put in a position to display how much I don't play about you. Like what, you know what, I'm always giving therapy to niggas, first of all, and even when I leave them, it's therapy for them.

I gonna try to be bad next time.

I know a girl who uh she had her child's father was physically abusive, and she posted pictures on social.

Media and how he beat her and it was really sad to see. And she left and moved to another town.

And then she was with another guy and she's posting pictures of how he beat her too, And then she went with another guy.

And then I started to think, like, is there something in her about her?

That is for sure? You know, for sure? As people, we choose what is comfortable, not what is healthy. That's just what we do as people. We do what's comfortable, not what is healthy. So if I'm used to an angry, abusive dynamic, then I choose what is comfortable, not what is healthy?

Mmmm?

So okay, I have one more question. This is about to get deep in my shit on my cray.

There we go.

So I keep entertaining people who are unavailable in some way, like they're all the way in la or are they I ain't really interested in the in ces right now, or just just newly divorced, or you know, not ready to get into anything. And these are the people I keep entertaining, And I keep asking myself why am I only entertaining people that are unavailable in some way?

Does that mean I'm unavailable in some way too?

My first, my first I'll answer that in a second, But I have two qualifying questions. First, my first question is why do you think you do that?

I don't know, I don't know.

I'll look up and I'd be like, shit, I'm doing it, And fuck again. You know I'm entertaining to someone who isn't available.

In the way. Why am I entertaining a guy who's all the way in fucking London?

Can I tell you the therapy I gave her? She likes unattainability.

She likes that she likes men who are unattainable, and the available guy is not appealing.

Well, that brings my second question. Do you yourself have unconscious commitment issues? Oh?

I definitely a conscious I definitely have commitment. I'm gonna commit. I have fear of commitment.

I don't know what it sparks from, but I definitely have fear. I always feel like I'm gonna choose the wrong person and I'm gonna look up and I've been with someone I've given invested all this time into someone who wasn't right or that's my biggest fear, like I'm gonna choose wrong.

But that's the answer, because you protect yourself from choosing wrong by choosing people you can't have.

MM, So how do I fix that?

How old are you ask you that?

No? No, you can't.

Oh the fucking enough, grow your ass up tomorrow.

I'm late thirty somewhere in there.

All right, what's the longest relationship you've ever had?

So, I've had Like, so I was with I don't know if this counts. I was with one guy from sixty to twenty six, and then I was with another guy from twenty nine to thirty three. Thirty. Yeah, so then after that I've been single, completely single ever since.

No, dates at all.

Oh no, I done had situationshifts, sneaky legs, things like that, but not anything. I haven't posted anybody on my social media system.

Let's just say that.

God, okay, I would say, you have to risk choosing the wrong one to choose the right one, and you have to trust yourself when I realize it's the wrong one, I'll be able to get out of it.

But that's the thing, all right, and right, let me tell you my fear. So when I lock in with someone like that, I lock in for dear life. I don't want to let go. I stick it out for all the bullshit, all the red flags. I'll be just locked in so hard, and I don't know how to I don't know how to let go when I go there. So that's why it fears me to go there.

I think we should change that that dynamic, so you'll know, if I choose a guy and I notice red flags, I'm gonna learn how to let go so I can choose the next guy, you know what I mean.

Like, that's where I'm at. I think so Tammy thinks I'm a she thinks I'm much well.

I call myself a I call her a serial monogamous, okay, because I well, and it's traditional trinogamy. I mean it's it's modern day monogamy where you fuck with one person at a time, right, because I don't have the emotional energy like to give to multiple people. Right, So if I if I connect with somebody, I try to see what's up. What I'm learning now is that I don't have a whole year for anybody else anymore. Right, So the last situationship I was in lasted maybe about a

I'm ana lock in. I like new relationships.

I like first dates I like all that shit, and then I'm a lock in and I'm gonna get the fuck out, and.

Now locking with nobody, I'll be like, who is this O?

Hey, I'm sorry you saying your number yet you ain't maybe that far in my life.

And I'm knowing who's next up on the agenda? Okay, I.

Knowing thegenda is probably the greatest thing I've ever.

Heard in my whole I be knowing, like, shit, what's up?

Just trust your intuition and take action on your intuition, cause you know, like y'all know, like this person isn't for me, but I'm bored or I like one aspect of that, but you know they're not. They're not good for you. You should go, you should go. I went to college with a guy who became a police detective, and one day I was like, Bro, what's the coolest thing you've learned you've been a police detective? And he said, I think women truly have an intuition that men don't have.

I'd be like six flags, red flags, Like six flags, bitch, let's go.

No, you need to fall up and love. Love is the greatest, most powerful and amazing force on this planet. It is worth all the risks, fears and anxieties. You just have to learn how to find the person to go all in on and stop going all in on these wrong people, like they're just wrong.

I just won't go all in on nobody now. I'm afraid I don't want to end up.

I always have this fear that Ashley AJ is going to be on an episode of First forty eight saying yeah.

I remember being on on there with her and Elliott and she was saying that she was gonna killing nigga. If you play with her, and I just don't that between me and you.

I ain't getting caught. I told y'all, I got that that M for h money, murder for hyo. Okay, I'm not getting caught.

That's the only difference is I'm not getting caught.

Why you manifested getting caught, Nigga, Like we're not getting caught.

Go back to like, I'm not like you. I'm not gonna kill nobody. Can we start there? Good? Look, life, like you're young enough. Both of y'all are young enough. And I can tell you this with a one hundred percent certainty from my clinical practice. I've talked to sixty seventy eighty year old Being alone is the worst experience ever. Life is meant to be lived.

In love double occupancy.

Yeah, so right now, you're young, you're vibrant. You don't want to turn seventy one and realize like, oh shit, I'm by myself in here.

But you also don't want to turn seventy one and be with the wrong person all that time, because then.

Listen to me telling you how to find the healthy relationship. Because I agree, you don't want to be seventy one with the wrong person. But people have come to therapy, and I'm telling you the regret they have is not not choosing a life partner. And they went at it alone and before you know it.

Fuck seventy one. I don't want to be forty one in this bitch by myself. I be acting like I'm okay, But when I'm in here, eat my dinner at my little.

Tree table, watch your sisters, cary myself, I be feeling it.

Yeah, Like I want you guys to understand that love is worth the risk. Love is the greatest thing in the world. Life is meant to be lived with love. So take that chance and know if I go on a date with a person and I don't like this person, I don't ever have to see this motherfucker again ever. And I can keep going until I meet that person where I'm like, damn, like this is it? Like I didn't know that I could feel this way about someone who is healthy and makes me feel good and lifts

Do you think we could be too picky? Is there such thing as that?

It's like, girl, you're not gonna find anyone because your requirements are not achievable.

Is that possible.

I suppose it's possible, but it's much less likely than the opposite. I would rather you be too picky than too loose. It's okay to have standards, In fact, it's necessary. If someone is not gonna be turned on to the stuff you're turned on to, then move on and go find a healthy relationship and never ever forget life is meant to be lived in companionship. Way to say this, but.

Yeah, we went on way too long. But listen, Elliott.

We have a segment in our show it's dumb Bitch stories, right, and then the equivalent to that is simp series. So we like to hear stories from men and women about the time that they got played in a relationship. Doesn't make you a simp for real, right, just somebody took advantage of a good guy. And we don't want any goddamn high school stories. Okay, we want some adult shit that altered some shit in you. So you did the psychotherapist, like, made you move a little bit different?

Why are you thinking about that? Are you married now? Are you in a relationship now?

I'm in a relationship now? Yeah?

Oh shit?

Okay, okay, I'm thinking, I know, thank you.

How long you How long you been in your current relationship?

A long time?

Oh okay, so I got it.

You say you don't any high school stories, but I gotta go back to high school. That's that's how long I've been not single. I gotta go back to high school.

Oh okay, God damn okay.

Tell when I was in high school and this this shit fucked me up bad, like it messages me to this day. When I was in high school, I had a crush on this girl named Sarah. Sarah was like the hot girl on the soccer team, like and when you're a guy like you, you just have no thoughts that Sarah's gonna ever like you. So I didn't tell nobody. And one day I came to school and my boys ran up to me, was like, hey, man, Sarah likes you. So I was like, dope, Sarah. I asked Sarah to

Like, excellent, excellent, Sarah, she smashed a holdie like that ray J when they called out.

That girl, I could not be like, yes, I feel like that at all. But if I'm being very honest, I see her Facebook posts and I'd be like, that's what you mean. But that was probably the most like shook that I that I ever was, and it did impact how I how I treat my because now, and I know it's because of that, my super duper close friends, like I value them so much and I only have a few of them, but my super duper close friends.

Oh, I agree. I just learned that lesson too.

I still learn it, like, you know, becoming successful. And I mean I'm obviously I'm not the most successful person in the world, but I'm more successful anybody else. I know, anybody else I went to high school as grow up with. They'd be acting weird when you get successful.

And it don't be you changing as everybody else.

Yeah, And I see people like I can see y'all not clapping like I hear the ship y'all saying. It always trips me out to when people they talk about my social media, but I don't ever see them liking or sharing nothing, like so you watch everything I'll post, but I don't see you watching the share and nothing. I find that all weird. But I got some people that are like super duper down and that experience is where I learned you got to keep your circle super tight.

Yeah.

Yeah, Like my Facebook, I got like four thousand people on my Facebook that are people that I actually know. Like, I leave my Facebook for people that I actually know that I grew up with. I've encountered you in some former fashion and when we posted that we were doing Breakfast Club, I got twenty likes, thirty likes. It's like, damn, you went to school with me, our whole life and you only thirty people felt the need to love this shit.

That's wow.

Wow.

I've been doing stand up with Tiffany Hattters recently. I've been on the Breakfast Club. I'm about to announce, you know, the partnership with The Black Effect. And I had another book. You said I had four books. My fifth book came out a little while ago, Like there's all these things and I'm like, so me writing a book. I just got one hundred, like five thousand of y'all like y'all

That was actually on my shit.

That was that I wanted to talk about humble versus narcissist.

Well, I think, well, narcissism versus humility is humility and narcissism aren't super duper linked. But most of the time when people tell you to stay humble, what they're really saying is you shining is making me uncomfortable. So stop making me uncomfortable. And if me shining makes you uncomfortable, you wasn't my homie anyway, you wouldn't you wasn't my bro anyway, you weren't down with me anyway. But that's

Yeah.

Man, I really don't be concerned about the public. My thing is my family.

The people who are closest to me. Those are the people I want to clap for me. I really don't care if people outside of them my family.

I've got family members struggling right now. I signed a TV deal and it is it is reorganized some of my family dynamics because they're just not like. People get used to who you were and they have a hard time with you becoming who you are exactly. I'm just not here from it.

But actually you've probably been this person your whole life, right, So your whole life you're I'm just not realizing people have been trying to dem my shit, my whole life. But the whole time I knew exactly who I was, you just didn't, right, So you went out your way to try to make me feel like I'm not who the fuck I am?

Okay, Elliott, tell everybody where they can find you, where they could get some of your services if possible, your books, shout out.

Everything, love it, love it. Okay. You can find me on social media at Elliott Speaks. That's with two l's and two t's, Elliot Speaks, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter threads. That's where you can find me my YouTube channel. Just search my name Elliott Connie and you'll see my YouTube channel.

Hey, I had one more question, Elliott before we go fire away. In those two weeks did you fuck Sarah.

Or no?

Did you get the pussy?

What?

Two weeks you said your dated Sarah for two weeks? Did you get the.

Pussy at your homeboy? Just smash your girl? I want to know, like, did you get the fuck too?

Out of all things, that could have been your final question, and you want to know if he.

Fucks Sarah or not?

Man, he actually he stole two girls from me, one name Sarah, one name Shannon. He told both of them Elliot, don't really like you, Ellie, don't really with you like that?

And a hater.

I didn't either of them.

Damn, damn.

Yeah, when when you ask these questions like when you can play these are triggering. Elliott the same snatched two girls. It was terrible. He got them both. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't get down without one of them.

Damn.

I just needed to know.

When I was in high school, a J. I appreciate that I'm packing.

Don't unpack, Elliot.

Ship Like all right, y'all if you enjoyed this episode.

Myself forties, you make me feel like ship.

Now AJ doing to you what my therapists had done to me that day.

I just got to tell you we shouldn't do that to people over here.

Well, the solution would be to hit her raggedy ass up on Facebook now and see if you can smash her and not talk to her no more.

That's the solution. Brief therapy.

Oh my goodness, don't listen.

I'm rich.

I don't have to. Okay, come on your ship. Okay.

Meanwhile, my screen case is fucked up and I need another one, but I'm gonna hold on.

To it as long as I can.

Elli.

Yeah, we had so much fun. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for that free therapy session. I'm really gonna reach out to you for some more because I feel like.

I got some more ship to unpack.

If that's okay, give her my phone.

Got it?

Definitely all right, y'all listen.

If you enjoyed this episode, y'all, tune in every Thursday on your iHeartRadio Apple beever the fuck you get your podcasts at.

This is your co host aj Holiday two point zero.

If you won't follow me on instagrams, y'all, we got we talkback eant dot com. Hit us up for some merchandise. We got a few other things coming up as well.

What you got Tam.

Y'all's official Tambama on Instagram. Y'all please follow me now. Y'all remember to speak now and never hold your peace. Deuces.

Bye,