Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.
Talk or Talk Talk to. We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode that We Talk Black, a show dedicated to these niggas in these hoes. Oh not the niggas that we talked black for Black History Month. Okay, now, hey y'all, it's Tan Van. I love y'all. I feel like I haven't been telling them I loved him a couple of weeks, but I do love y'all. I want to remind y'all that you are
very much loved by We love you too. AJ. How'd you? And was about nothing? Child? Line? Do shit? And I can't wait till this weekend to not do shit? You're not gonna watch the super Bowl? Is that this week Oh? Yeah, I'm definite gonna try to find me a little kickback this weekend. Yeah, I'm into this weekend. I forgot I did do it. Haven't been following I noticed the forty nine ers, the red team and the Blue team. Is that really? Who's going to the Super Bowl? A red
team and a blue team. So I know, I know there's a red one, the Chiefs. The Chiefs, well they're red, the forty nine ers. What color are they are? They blue? Red team? Right? Okay, then it's red. It gets red, so it's Chiefs. It's a blood. It's a blood super Bowl that was done, y'all. Ain't sure we know what the fuck we talk about. Y'all can tell we don't watch sports like that. It's the cheese, Travis Kel I need. It's Taylor Swift. So I thought he played for the
forty nine Ers. I'm wrong. He played for the Chiefs. Oh nah, I know that. So this is Taylor Swift's first Super Bowl apparently, I just hit yeah, So it's two red teens. I just hate, uh how they got her taken over. Goddamn NFL man, this is just disgusting. She didn't do it though, she just supporting her dude, and everybody just making it about her. She has literally come in and they have tried to take over swagsurfing and also fades at this point. Okay, well you saw
the swag surf. Ain't no way they taking it over because that shit was very was thirty. It was thirty at all and in the fade. That is the funniest shit to me. It's just it's how America was founded. It stupid Internet new period, that's what the fuck America's founded on on a motherfucker trying to say they started something that they didn't you name. I guess we're in stupid internet news. Travis Kelsey came out and said, like, uh, I don't do that to me. I did not invent
that shit ever. People invent that shit. It's black history, mind. I don't want no problems. Stop playing with whar he's won. They was on some dumb shit man February one. They don't care about us. All the white boys going to get the Travis Kelsey, that's a boosty say he find now, I go, lie, I much can lie. He is nice looking, nice to look at. I don't even see him with Taylor Swift for real, Like I don't know who she's supposed to be. But he got a little bit too
much swag for tailors. He got swag. That's why I say I don't think he I don't find him attractive. I just think he's got a lot of swag. Because if you cut that beard off and you've seen him without the meatles. He like male Paul buyan As looking white, brownie man, that's what he makes Johnny Ella seed for sure. Shame. Let's talk about the Grammys. That's what I did. I watched the Grammys. I enjoyed the Grammys this year. Did you I didn't watch He's gonna be watching TV JA,
I didn't watch you, lay, I am lying. I let my hookah. I had me a bottle of champagne and I just watched the Grammys. I was singing. Fantasia made me so proud. She looks so good. I'm just so happy for her too. Yeah, she's like getting all the accolades she has always deserved. Who else? Oh, Tracy Chapman and I love that song. I love that remake fast, Yes, what's the Guy's what's the guy? I don't know? Also got that shit every single day comes on the radio.
I listened to that song. I love that. Yeah, that's songs. And she looks so amazing. She looked good, She's aging so beautifully. Them dimples aren't the thing is I never realized that was her song. I didn't realize that when they was playing with that shit on a living Color. I didn't. I didn't realize that was a black woman's song. Yeah, yeah, what God they had the sister playing her playing that
character in Living Color girl. I have no idea. What you don't remember them doing that on Living Color, playing and doing that song when the Living Color I don't know. That's why I was able to watch him Living Color yet? What your mommy? Lets you watch a kid? I was little? Okay, I'm thinking about deaf comedy jam even deaf comedy jamiot Like, what how old are you again? Never mind? So let's keep playing. Yeah you might have been born Yeah I
was little. Yeah, you're right to that part. And Living Color? What's that? So you never seen Martin either? I love that show. I watched all the reruns. Shame. So the Grammy, y'all, let's get into it right quick. So jay Z won one of the most prominent awards. I would say at the Grammy's Grammys. Maybe it's named at the Doctor Dre is that Doctor Dre Global Impact Award, And in the midst of his acceptance speech, he goes on to call it the Grammys about how his wife ain't never one
album of the year. She got thirty sounds Grammys, but for whatever reason, she keeps getting snubbed for Album of the Year, while Taylor Swift won this past Sunday, that's her fourth Grammy for Album of the Year. Ed labed me to go listen to some Tailor Swift music. I had to see what the fuck they be hearing. I hear this shit on the radio. She doesn't have any
albums we could just listen straight through either. And I feel like Beyonce has had several albums, especially Lemonade, she should have gotten a Grammy for and she should have called Beyonce on the stage like Beyonce did what she won her first gram Remember when Kanye was like, I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce, well, he didn't lie. Clearly, he didn't lie. He wasn't not here. We all tend yet.
I think jay Z doing the same shit. Taylor swisherd said I'm a finish, but Beyonce, can you come up here? Because I feel like this should have been your or some shit like that. You should have gotten this a million years ago, right that way, though she probably doesn't feel that way. It's because you know what, Celene Beyond gave her the award and she did not even acknowledge
Selene beyond. I was upset with that, like, girl, how are you gonna be standing right next to the queen with that bob boy gone looking like a black girl in that bob wig with them diamonds on the diamonds. I couldn't even thee the diamonds was blinding me on the TV screen. And you're not gonna acknowledge Selene And she got health issues. She came out there for you, girl. So let's talk about stats when it comes to Beyonce and Taylor Swift. So it's this American songwriter. Taylor Swift
has released ten original studio studio albums. Beyonce has four. Excuse me, Beyonce has seven to Taylor Swift's ten. Taylor Taylor Swift has four re recorded UH studio albums, five extended plays, and four live albums. She's sold and estimated one hundred fourteen million album units worldwide, and in terms of pure cells TA tally that forty six point six million in the United States and seven million in the UK. R IAA, which is the Recording Industry Association of America.
Her albums have garnered fifty one million certified units in the United States. As of February twenty twenty four, she is the solo artist with the most weeks most most weeks sixty nine at number one on US Billboard two hundred. So that's just a little, quick, little brief rundown of Taylor Swift's whatever. Okay, so I hear it's Beyonce. Well, but here's the thing. Taylor Swift her tour alsold Beyonce's tour by dump did it? Are you sure googled it last night? Yeah? I did. I know. She's just very
she's sure watchcraft, y'all ain't seeing that shit. I seen those damn clips. She was literally in black hoods on stage. Listen, she got it. They literally created a thing called post concert amnesia because concert goers don't even remember attending the Tailorswip concert. They created a syndrome for people after tailerslipt concert. They don't even remember going. They don't ever, they don't even remember what happened at the concert. They were there,
but they don't remember what happened. She fucking putting people on the hypnosis. I'm convinced it's a real thing. So what else happened? Killer Mike got arrested at the Grammys after winning three Grammys. I like, he's an elder in the hip hop, not an elder, and he won three Grammys. Yeah he's you know, he's not twenty two. You can't call that man older. But in hip hop. I don't know. If you you don't think so I'm oldest Killing Mike, he's you'd be like, what, forty five is forty six
years old? That's not an elder. You're like forty eight, I think, so we call it. Okay, you really having fun today, bitch. Well, I'm not calling him out elder for the Earth. I'm not elder for the earth. I'm calling it. Maybe that's not what I was saying. You know, people were saying like, oh, you're too old, you're this, you're that, and he's proven that that is not the case, you know, So that's all I was alluding. I was
surprised I hadn't listened to any Killing Mike album. I didn't realize he even had an album come out, And I mean I really hadn't listened to that much new music last year for real, unless you know, a little singles and shit like that. I haven't really popped in anybody's album. So I just was kind of under a rock last year with music wise. I didn't realize he had an album that even came out. Did you listen to what she was listening to? You? I don't even
know shit, Reverend. I I listened up. I listened because of the Scientists and Engineer single that Henry greyd that wards. You heard that though, right, Oh, that's the thing. I hadn't heard them. I hadn't and maybe I've heard it and this just don't remember. I don't know. I got to listen to it again, but into world news, y'all, Son and Nigga got arrested for what though? Oh we're going back to that. Yeah, okay, that's the when he got arrested because he had a altercation with one of
the security guards at the Grammys. And I think it was just like a very over zealous security guard that just wanted to prove a port that you can't play with him. He top flight, so they came and got him up out of there over something stupid. It really was trying to act like he ain't killing Nigga just won three Grammys. You don't know who I am. I bet you was a black ride. Oh yeah, probably. You
know they take their security job X football player. When them ex football players become security guards, that'd be disgruntled. In light of the Grammys And like I said, I was talking about Taylor Swift's disco it's a discoography, pstography Beyonce. Okay, So, American singer Beyonce has released seven studio albums, five live albums, three compilation albums, five EPs, one soundtrack album, and two
karaoke albums. I don't know what the fuck a karaoke album is, but I want to do them so to date. To date, Beyonce has sold over two hundred million records worldwide as a solo artist, making her one of the best selling music artists of all time. Billboard ringd her as a thirty seventh greatest artist of all time. I don't know where Taylor Swift rings amongst all the greats that we've had, because given her these four Grammys, that means she's we not talk about Taylor Swift. We talk
about in this moment. Let see, she's better than I'm just doing a comparison. Still, that means she's better than Michael Jackson at this point anyway. So The Recording Industry Association Association of America recognized her as the top certified certified artist is so Beyonce Okay of the two thousands decade.
According to our IAA, Beyonce has sold thirty point five million albums in the United States, and as of November twenty twenty three, the RIAA list her total certified sales as a solo artist, including features as over one hundred and seventy four million in the United States. So Beyonce is gonna be our batty. Beyonce should have got the goddamn Grammy. Okay, Beyonce, we salute you. You are baddy who toss back for this week? Girl. We love you, and I'm gonna put tailor swift ass in a freezer.
They are not winning the super Bowl this year, okay? But ill world news. All right, y'all come close to how you're listening to the device, however you listening it is, y'll. Drake Dick was leaked. Drake's Dick was lead. Drake. I was so upset Dick is leaking. Don't do that. I can lie. I much can lie. That was a nice wikipedist, Drake, nice Wickoripedia It is nice and long. It wasn't extremely girthy, but it wasn't all the way you know, full. It was a half tub, so it might you know, expand
a little. I feel like you put that shit out. I just don't see Drake fucking with somebody at this point where they would do something like that, like where you gotta have a little bit more discernment than to be fucking with a bitch and they put your dick on the internet like that. Yeah, I hate that for him us. I hate that for us because everybody just see our mand. My sister gonna message me like, hey, you got the Drake video. I was like yes, She's like,
can you send it to me? I was like absolutely not. She was like why. I was like, I'm not sitting you my man's dig Like, that's weird for you to even ask me for that. She was like, bitch, just send it. That's not your man, that's not your man. Man like me in one here, like all the dudes like on Twitter on excuse me, it's talking about Drake got all the holes, money and an XX Glizzie. Yeah,
it's just too much winning for him. It's disgusting. Man. Yeah, I like cockshots though, Like, I want to know who the fuck got that cock shot? Who you said that? That did look all manicure right, that dig look like it had just been through like a manicure session, like it was all nicely. He was tapping that hairy eyeshole too, with the blanket right there, Like, did y'all see our producer tailor? She pulls her little picture and at Drake
on Instagram or her Instagram story. Yeah, I was really get at her for that this way, but I was just like, you know what, I'm gonna let her hand dad. She got into her little picture and she hat but I was like, no, cause you got Tyler Lepli or whatever his name is. You already got pictures with that nigga, and now here you come popping out with my you know that's my nigger you posted. Look, Drake had his
arm round tailor neck. I now I felt. I'm like, wait, why you got his hand right your neck like that? Like he was like, yeah, he was showing her a little bit. I cut the turrn one a little bit. I don't know, but I'm like, why why Drake got his hair on your neck like that tailor top? But he know what's up. You better get tailor girl. She better take your man. I would hate the choke slam Taylor ass somewhere would hate to do that to her.
That's not your nigga. Okay, my man, y'all, If you ever happened between me and Drake, just know that I manifested it here with you listeners. Believe it in it right here on this show man from day one, from episode one, Yeah, really want Drake. What I do that is not even your type. He's not my type. But I'm a huge fan and I love him so much. So y'all, we was at Drake concert. This bitch ain't no naw Drake song. That's a lie. I do all
the songs. All the real fans were singing the hell out that nigga song We like No that was twenty one. Savage said, I didn't know that's what it was. You was ready hanging on my love life right now, and I just don't appreciate it between you and Taylor today. It's just die Taylor. One step, I'm closer than you, bitch. You better get she is. But that's okay because I'm going to see Drake again. And two where he gonna be at hand he back on tour with Ja Cole. Interesting,
he gonna be in Ohio. They had Drake, you know through your bronze age, tam Bam coming, I ain't gonna have one one. So tam Bam coming to see your baby? All right, what are we do we have anything else for stupid? I think that's that man. That's a whole like a lot of gang shit going on, uh this week, but Drake just ruined the internet for the day. I think I haven't really been back on and see what
the fuck people talk about about that dick. But yeah, m my mom would call me this morning and she was listening to the episode with the Jody you know, teaching us how to you know, suck dick. And my mom was like, you know what, what was she teaching us to suck dick? Well, she she didn't teach us, but she said she could like she has closely choreography class for a second dick. Okay, yeah yeah, And my mom said, good morning, baby, Can I just say something?
I said, yes, ma'am. She was like, every time I think we can't get to a new level of what the fuck you and AJ take it y'all will take it to a new level of what the It's not really us taking it to a new level. It's the guess that's what I said. She said, well, you brought them on there, didn't you. I was like, yes, I did. We all just be be doing like shit for research purposes. Okay, it's just a little high. We have hypotheses ed education, edumacation.
That's all speaking of education, all right. So I was really like, in my feelings, this is the ninth year in a row that I have not had a Valentine, And I was like, just you know, I'm still hopeful, and I still like what love, and I'm still like, I hope it's romantic regardless. If you want to see something good, watch The Valve. If you want to be all in the field. That's a good movie on Netflix right now, the vowel. But I was scrolling and I
was seeing like this post. I can't remember whose page it was on, but it was like tag the happiest wife, you know. So I went in there and I started reading a women who were tagged, but the ones that I who I was most impressed with were the wives who tagged themselves. So I messaged those wives and I asked them to come on this show and talk about why you're the happiest wife, because I want us to be hopeful, I want us to find love, and I want us to grow. So we'll be right back with
our first guest. Who's gonna talk about why she's the happiest wife. EM Okay, guys, we're back. And y'all know I'm a hopeless romantic. So I was scrolling and I just saw this beautiful post about the happiest wife. So I got to dig it through the comments to seeing who they were shouting out to be the happiest wife. And then I was more impressed with the women who were saying that they were the happiest wife themselves, because you know, outside I can thank you the happiest wife.
You may not be, but these women were saying, no, baby, look at me, because I am the happiest wife. And I came across this one profile for our guest, Jennifer Allen.
Thank you for joining us, thanks for having me.
And she is the CEO of Justin Loaf LLC in Dallas, Texas, where she creates traades micro weddings all over Dallas.
Thank you for joining us, girl, thanks for having me.
Tell us what makes you that? Like? What made you decide to say tight? Right there? I am the happiest wife. Don't play with me.
Don't play with it, because, let me tell you something. My husband is. He is top tier.
He has been intentional about being a husband, not just wanting a wife since I met him, and we have been married for thirteen years and we have three sons, eleven, nine and two, and every day that we've been together, I've never had to question whether or not I am enough for him, whether he loves me, whether I am.
Secure within our relationship.
And that's not to say that we don't have issues or petty arguments or that sort of thing, but it's this security that comes with no matter what.
He can be upset with me.
If he leaves out the house, he gonna bring me something back. If he goes to go do something, he gonna I'll be back. I'm about to go do whatever. It's no storm out of the house. It's all this security of no matter what, you are the most important thing to me. Even though you're getting on my last nerve at this moment, and I'm sure our work is nerve, but I don't care how long did y'all date before
you got married? So we met in January two thousand and nine, and we got married in July two thousand, so you knew that quickly, yes, So on our So I met my husband on my Space, so let's start there. So I and what so random is I had not been on my Space in years, right, like so long? Facebook was popping then had been and so long. And my best friend was likeirl, I walked into my MySpace page the other day and I'm like, let me get on here and see. And I don't know how whether
he has sent me a message. So much time has passed since since then, but I don't know how we end up connecting. We exchange, we end up exchanging phone numbers like that same day, talked on the phone all day.
On a it was a Saturday.
We talked on the phone all day long, and then he was like, man, I wish I could see, but I got to go to work tomorrow. He's nineteen years old, right, so kids, And so I'm like, oh, don't don't stop your bag behind me, like go, you know, go take care of your business. So the next day he calls me and He's like, what you're doing today? And I'm like, nothing, what you doing? I thought you had to go to work. He's like I'm sick. I'm like, oh hell la la.
I'm like, yo, you've got his full work. If you feel to take off of your job from some cheek you demit on the internet, you FeelA not go to work behind somebody you don't even know.
And we end up going to the to Rezus and going to.
The movies and he went with me to Walmart so I can get my little groceries for the week and we had a really good, like just a really good time. So that was a Sunday. That Wednesday, he came over my house and he was like, we are gonna get married. And I'm like, boy, you are just trying to get you some and you don't have to say all that because I'm finna give it to you, so you don't gotta gas me up.
You know what I'm saying, Like.
I don't, I don't need this has happening because I wanted to happen. This has nothing to do with you telling me that we're gonna get married. And he was like, no, like, we're we're gonna get married. I'm like, all right, whatever. So literally we became inseparable from that moment on and I had just got out of relationship a couple months prior, and I was really on some like I'm setting boundaries with people and whoever don't get it, don't get it.
So he would come stay the night at my house and I told him, I said, hey, if you stay here seven times throughout the month, you're gonna have to pay my light bill because you over here using electricity to microwaves, like you just because he lived with his mom and so he was in the military waiting orders and so I'm like, you, my light bill was like sixty dollars. They weren't even like it was like crazy, And so he was there.
At the end of the month, came.
I'm like, I need my sixty three fifty more, like where where's where's my money at? And he and he paid it, and like I didn't have cable, and he would come over there and he was like, you don't have cable. You just watching DVD's. Rest or red Box was BD. He's like, you just watching DVD's.
All the time.
I'm like, I have to choose between being able to consistently keep my nails done or having cable, and I'm choosing my nails, And so I said, if you want me to have cable, then you get the cable.
I don't. I don't need no cable. And so he got the cable.
And so when I would leave to go to work, I would make him reap get up too, like you got you gotta go to work, So you head back to where you're going, because you're just not finna be land up in my house. And so it started to go to where I would we would leave at the same time. Then it would be when he would leave, he would bring my key to my job. And then that turned into him saying, well, can I just have
a key? And so I was like, well, you know you've never had an apartment before, so let me explain to you how it works. When you go into the lease in office and you sign on the paper and say you're gonna pay the full month's rent, they give you a key. I said, so I don't need a roommate, So if you want a key, then you need to pay.
You need to pay the rent.
And so I said, but you don't make enough money to pay the rent, and be my boyfriend.
Like to take me somewhere. So I'm so I am, I'm I'm three years older than than than my husband.
And so, like I said, I had just dated somebody who was trash on top of trash, and I just knew what I did not want to continue to deal with. And so he was like okay. So like the next month, he had got a new job, and he came in there and slapped the money order on the table and was like, hey, give me my key. I'm like, boy, you can have my key. Used to get in the door.
I'm knocked on the door to get it there. I don't care. I see if I could come over because I don't care.
You got it? So we we we we kept dating, he moved in. We were getting serious, and then in October of that year, so we met in January. So by the time October came, we were we were I mean, it was it was serious. It was you know, we were locked in. And I told him, I said, well, my my lease is up and I'm gonna move to another apartment inside of my complex. And I said, you cannot come with me, And he was like, what do you mean. I said, you've never experienced living by yourself before.
And I know that you do a great job of taking care of things in the house with me together, but I need to know that you could take care of yourself by yourself, I said, because if you're gonna be my husband, you're gonna be these things. I don't want you to feel like you missed out on living alone. I don't want you to feel like, you know, I need to see that you can remember to pay your bills, because they your bills to pay, nine need bringing them up,
you know, and that sort of thing. How old were you on it too, cause that's a very much. So I was twenty three. So when we met, he was nineteen. I was twenty two, and then he turned twenty in March, and then I turned twenty three in June, and so I was like, you know, I just I just don't.
I just need to know a baby.
That man told me, if you move out this apartment and I don't go with you, we are done.
And I said, well, I guess we're done.
And I told my mama and she was like, Jennifer, okay, And I said what, She's like nothing, And so we just kind of left it alone. He ended up getting his own apartment. I moved into my apartment and he stopped talking to me. We broke up, we were done. His mama tried to hook him up with the lady with the girl across the street and went to Ikea. Yeah, there was Ikea and everything. I said, oh, I know, you ain't out here picking our feelings with a bitch like they what's the ike up?
My feelings is crushed.
I faill, what.
Are you serious right now?
And I was talking to my mom about it, and she said, you know, I really need for you to understand that Tavares is a good man. Because he's a good man. It has nothing to do with you. So he's going to be a good man to whoever he's with, not just you. So if you want to keep this going and be on your high horse, and I'm putting my foot down, I'm setting boundaries, She's like, you are
going to miss out. And she's like, so you do with that what you want to do with the I'm not telling you who you're supposed to be with, but you do what you want to.
Do with it.
And I ended up needing to go get my tooth pulled, and I'm like, I mean, I'm like, can you please take me to the dnist? I can't drive myself back back home. And he was like, yeah, that's fine. So he took me to the dentist and when it was over, it was like a traumatic experience. And then he was like, well, you just come back to my apartment. And I ended up being in his house for like three weeks and.
We were back together.
And that was in April of twenty twenty April of two thousand and ten, and then in he found out that he was going to be leaving for deployment, and so we kind of had this conversation like, hey, I know, we just got back together, Like this doesn't have to be a thing, Like we can you know, call this all and he was like no, like this is this is where I want to be.
I'm like good because me too, because.
I'm at I don't want to I don't want.
To do that. Yeah, exactly, I don't want to go nowhere.
And we decided before he left for deployment and he he went he went to San Diego for trainings and Navy went to San Diego for a training. He came back in July and he proposed and he proposed on a Thursday, and we got married that next Tuesday, and so we went to city Hall and got married and
we've been married for thirteen years. And I it has been when you get married young, it's difficult because you are growing up in front of somebody else and all of your eyes, all of your flaws are on display, and all of your wants and needs and desires, they're constantly changing and shifting, and you're doing this with somebody else. And then you become parents, and so now you're not only trying to figure out, you know, how to be a husband and a wife, but now a mother and
a father. But I'm still trying to figure out how to be Jennifer. I'm still trying to figure out, you know, what I'm doing with myself. And it has been the best journey now when I look back on it, because all the things that are good about my accomplishments, people say, oh, you're so awesome. Oh you've been on Netflix, Love is bla, Oh you married to Brad and Judy all you did this, Oh you did that, And I'm like, I would not have been able to do any of these things had
I not had my husband. Number One, hyping me up so tough to say you deserve all of that, go do it, you should do it, and him being here to be a great dad to his kids, because kids, well I'm set you right, I'm out here frolicing around town. Oh, Jennifer, we thought he was in Chicago to speak an event.
Yeah. And I got three children, you know, And so my husband is an amazing dad. You know.
I often tell him that he's truly the dad that I wish that I had grown up and to see him with our sons, it gives it almost makes me jealous sometimes because it's like me and I wish I had that, Like I wish I could have experienced what it was like to have a dad who was so intentional and so involved in everything that I that I did.
My dad really didn't come around until I became me. Now. You know, when it's cute to say.
Oh, look with my daughter, like what's and my daughter, you know, look what she's doing right right? And so it's like, yes, in spite of you know, so my husband is just I would shout from the rooftops to anybody you know that I'm the happiest wife, not because we have this fairy tale love. But it is the
securest thing I've ever experienced in my life. To have somebody who you don't have to question whether or not your best intentions are their main intentions, and to know that it's not going to get out, like if it comes down out, they come down to it, he raised throw them hands behind his woman. And so the fact, the fact that I know that also gives me the security to know that you know, it is what it is. And I just look forward to what we can keep
building and having. And sometimes I just be like, oh my god, i live in a house full of dudes. I'm the only girls because we have three three three boys, and I live in a house full of clingy, touchy Every five seconds, somebody gotta be in my space. And then you look around and everybody in the house has been inside your body. Everybody listen in or out, you know. And so I'm like, Jesus, give me a break, give
me a break. And you know, my mom, I'll say little things to her like, oh girl, this is she like Jennifer, it is worse problems to have.
Let let me tell you if your biggest complaint with Tavares.
Right now is that every time he go to the store, he got to call you twenty times to say the same thing that if that's your only problem you women, then take it the me online. It's always a thing about women being submissive and blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah, how do you and your spouse like navigate decision making and your relationship?
So each one of us is good at different things.
And we have always allowed whoever has the strength to make to make the decision. So my husband is really good with keeping up keeping up with things like making everybody's doctor's appointments and Dennis appointments and figuring out where
we should go and do in certain certain things. But his strong suit is not remembering when somebody has a project due at school, or when the parent teacher conference is when the follow up, or the kids we're volunteering for the Valentine party, well they need back.
That's that's not as strong point. So what whatever you're good at, that's what you take the point on, because we look at it like these kids don't care who do what. The light company don't care who who pay it, as long as it's as long as it's paid. Money has been one of those things in our relationship.
That's never been an issue because when we didn't have it, we figured it out, and now that we do have it is the same. It's we need, we pay what needs to be paid, and we keep it pushing from there. I think the whole debate on you know, I'm not going fifty to fifty with no men own no bills. We have a joint account, so all the money going into the account and we and I'm paying the bills, he's paying the bills.
I mean it, I don't.
You ain't got no little account on the side. You know, I have a big account on the right girl, and and and he knows that. And so you know, I work a full time job and I run my business full time, and so my husband is a data analyst, so he he makes more than I than I do. So the way that we the way that we do our funds is that all the money goes into one
account from our job. So all the money goes into one account, We pay all all of the bills, whatever is left over half goes into savings, and then we split the other half for you to be able to do whatever it is that you want to do. It I manage my business money on my own. And it's not that it's it's mine.
It's just that my husband knows. If he sees it, he gonna be like, well, we could do or what if we did?
And I'm and so we once we recognized that that was the thing, he's like, I don't even want to have access to it because then when something happens and he's like, man, we we got to spend four thousand dollars on XYZ, I'm like, all right, bet it. I got it because I'm the saver. And since we know that's our strong strong point, is what then I handle the money. If I wasn't the saver and I and he was, then he would handle it and I wouldn't look at it like he's giving me an allowance. No,
we have to keep living beyond our immediate needs. And so because we recognize that it's whoever has, whoever strong gets at whatever it is, that's who does what.
I hate washing clothes. I don't want to touch nobody's dirty.
Ass, drawing I can imagine, I don't want to turn your fock and they take their socks off and everything is inside out, like I don't. And my husband I have to, like, don't wash the clothes inside out like he will just put it in there. But at this point I'm like, whatever, I don't like washing clothes and he doesn't like folding clothes. So instead of it being this power struggle of who needs to do what, he washes the clothes, I fold the clothes up. Everybody put
their stuff up. Instead of it being this, well, you the woman, you need to do.
We don't have gender roles.
Of course, you know, it's certain things that people gravitate towards. He makes sure the car has gas, like stuff dealing, that's not my strong point. He makes sure the lawn the law and man come. But listen, listen, he be ready to he is social living. I'm like, boy, you I ain't never seen you've fiping by your life. But the fact that you be so ready, I believe it.
I believe it.
I believe it with my whole heart. I believe it. I bet you would. I bet and and and that's all I need because I ain't never gonna let you fight nobody. But I just I just didn't know that you will when the time comes. With the time, got that dog getting you to go ahead and come out through I can appreciate that. Girl. Listen, I had a million questions, but you answer all of them, answer every
last one of them. And I was about to ask because then another thing, like how do you guys handle disagreements? Just different things that come up in a marriage that people who haven't been married, they think they're gonna do something one way. You know, I can get some advice from you because you've been married for thirteen years now. So how do you guys handle Yeah, disagreements in a marriage. So my husband is a he wants to talk about it right now type of person, and I am not.
I need a I need a minute. And so we had to learn that it's okay that I need a minute, but I have to also be respectful of the fact that I can't let that drag out for the day.
And so it's like we set these boundaries up. You get an hour to cool down because he it's burning him up to not be able to talk about it right right then and there, and I'm I'm more coming down there he going up yeah, right, And so for it's a lot of things that may happen that he'll he'll he'll say, you are too nonchalant about things, and it's not And I have to remind him it's not that I'm nonchalant about It's not that I don't care.
It's just that I.
Know that in twenty minutes, none of this is about to be relevant. So because I know it's not gonna be relevant, I'm not gonna let myself get that worked up because why and the stuff that we're going back and forth about isn't like, oh, who is this woman or who is this and that. It's like white didn't put a trash bag inside the trash can, or I thought you said that you was gonna take this out.
You know, just little things.
But our biggest thing has always been to keep it respectful.
There is no name calling and you this and.
That and degrading and being the being the meaning to the other person to get your point across. And we often have this like little thing like if you got mad at your boss, you wouldn't go to them and cuss them out and talk to them all kind of crazy or you're a coworker, because you would fear that you would lose your livelihood. But people will talk to their spouses like trash And it's like how can you give a stranger more respect.
Than you give your significant other? And we adopted that model a long time ago, like talk to me and talk to me like your coworker, talk to me nice, or don't talk to me at all.
And sometimes like if it's like a heated thing, especially because because.
We have kids, we'll text like.
Because you thought you was about uh or so because we don't ever want to create this environment for them. You know, where they living with their parents, going back and forth, and that's the sort of thing. I never want to give my children a childhood that they have to recover from, like be fun loving black boys who just your kids are either gonna want a marriage just like yours or nothing like yours, right, those those are the only two options they're gonna be. Like, I ain't
never seen my mama and daddy fight. Meanwhile, y'all texting like yeah, nigga, baby, your bowing mama, Like I'm on, I'm on y'all relationships sometimes you know what I'm saying because verbally, you fuck are to say something real nasty, be a partner. Yes, yes, it's a little bit different than that. You don't mean it, yeah, And you don't mean it because because my text, because your text are auto correct, you're trying to cuss and it's like duck. It's like I wasn't trying to say duck. Like I
don't even what I was trying to say. But it definitely helps to going back to the security piece of things, I don't let too much get to me because I'm like, dude, you I know this is not gonna be a big deal. And because i know it's not gonna be a big deal, I'm not even gonna get ready to get all that
work worked up. Our biggest argument always across the board is and I wouldn't even call it an argument, but the biggest thing to go back and forth is my husband thinks that we're supposed to have sex like forty five thousand times a day.
And he thinks that other people.
He's like, I'm sure we're the only married people that's having sex like four times a week. That's not I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, do you know what, No, I'm like, bro, we have like we literally, like clockwork, are gonna have sex at least every other day, like at least every other day.
That is going to be a thing.
And he'll say stuff like people people, I'm I'm I'm sure folks out here married they doing you need to I'm like, no, that is four times a week was a health for time? People even married for thirteen years or three kids, that is a lot of sex. Yeah, three kids two uh three kids, A business of this or that, all of these things, a dog, all this stuff. I'm I'm on the pta board, I'm on you know,
I'm room mom, all these things. I'm like, it is, this is healthy and I and it's not that we argue about it, but it's like, if it's anything that's gonna call some type of friction, if it is bring him looking at me and I'm looking like.
I bend over the time I shoe up.
And he's like, oh, you're trying to be You're trying to be freaky. I'm trying not to fall. I'm trying not to trip, like I'm putting anna fall on this dick you basically basically you know. And and he's like, I'm like, I'm putting all loads like trying to get alled up for me.
I'm trying to preserve my skin.
Like I don't I'm trying to moisturize myself, but okay, and we both work from home, so it just feels like it just needs to.
Be this free for all all the time.
So that is probably what we But something that I do to I will I make it a point to like randomly, or it could just be a random Tuesday ten o'clock, I'm like, boom, I'm going in here.
I'm finnam, I'm in here.
Before I even go in there, I'm Sirritchela going in and show out real quick. On the tuesdays, it's going up on Tuesday for real. I'm like, come on, and that how catch you off? Bar?
You know what I'm saying. And you you are here thinking you missed a big shot for the rest of the day.
But in my mind, I'm thinking, why go the rest of the night to do whatever? To do without without without you sitting on the couch, like what to do when you jumped out? You funny as hell?
Time you going to bed.
That's a good problem to have.
Yeah, that's a good problem to have, So I'll take it. I'll take it.
Do you have any advice for women who are in marriages and they don't seem very happy or any advice for women who are looking for love or any advice.
What do you have If you are in.
A marriage and you are unhappy, First of all, figure out why you're unhappy.
Are you are Are you.
Unhappy because you are comparing your life to somebody else's. Are you unhappy because you want this social media love and you're not getting that. I see that with a lot of people. Your husband may not be the Instagram husband, and that's okay. It doesn't mean he loves you any less, and so it's comparison is the thief of joy, and I think that that really hurts people. My husband is not going If you go to his Instagram, it's probably like thirty pitches.
I'm sure seventeen of them is of me. The other ones are the kids. He it ain't nothing on their He's not a I'm a post you type of dude.
And I'm okay with that because in real life, like you, you double tapping me in real life, so you know.
It's okay.
But I think that a lot of times, in this day and age with social media, I'm finding that people are unhappy in their relationships because it's not living up to this sixty second real that's being put up with your husband showing up with flowers and doing this, and doing and doing that. But the things that he is doing for you, you know, could be.
Taking the place of all of that.
It's just not aesthetically pleasing And so I think that focusing on the good and your own relationship is great. Now, if you whip be your ass, you needs a niggadvarce.
Now I ain't ain't.
Yeah, if he out here knocking you upside your head and sleeping with everybody under the sun and doing our go ahead and move and move on.
So it's like, go ahead, but if But to.
People that are dating, that are wanting to be in a relationship and want to be with somebody, my biggest piece of advice is that it's that you have of He needs to be this tall, make this much money, have all these all these things that at any point could change. Right, so he has to be this tall. What if what if he was that tall and he got in a car accident and now he in a wheelchair. Now now he's not that tall. What if he had this amazing job and then he lost it. Those are not character traits.
Those are not.
Things that will sustain you in a marriage and I think that having people often say like I want a good man, I want a good woman.
Well, what is that actually mean for you?
Right? What that means for you? And what and what that means for me? It's too totally do different things. So I think being able to write down like character and look at what you write. If you say I want a good I want a good man, and then you immediately go into he gotta make six feet gears, be six foot.
Five, light skinned, drive this, and that those.
Are gotta gotta have a dick like Drake drink right, girl? I said, ah, I said what I said, girl, did you see Drake dick? My husband was like, so, y'all just really on.
And is and I was, and I was I said, oh my god, this is a video.
This was a picture act just in case they take it down. That Drake got oh god, you did like and yeah, you know.
And that is something that I do love about my marriage, is like he.
Wasn't insecure by that, insecure or offended that. I mean, it's something that's falling around on on social media. If somebody said I seen Beyonce sitty, I'm a look, I was just like, I'll it's curiosity, you know, and so I just yeah, Drake's Drake's Dick definitely has been.
The donkey of the day for real, like.
Literally literally literally donkey other day. Yeah, well, let me tell you something, missus, Jennifer Allen. This was such a great interview. You were a great guest. I want you to plug all your things, plug your micro wedding venue and all the time. Please. Yeah.
So, I'm the owner of Jesse Lope.
I'm a micro wedding plannet expert based here in the Dallas, Texas area. I'm on social media at Jesse Lope LLC. I have a podcast called the Wedding to Wife Podcast where we talk about all things from wedding planning to wife life because it is more than just getting that rain, and we also want to educate brides on what it takes to actually pull off these pinterest worthy weddings. We talk about bridesmaids, disaster stories, and people that have called
off weddings, called off in engagements. And season two launches next month and I'm super super excited about that. But yeah, so that's the Wedding to Life podcast and my personal social media is I add thank you nobody, thank you girl. I'm listening hands too. I am thank you. I'm getting engaged next year to Drake, so we probably ye come home my mom.
I won't even look at him, no type of way.
Everybody's young man, but everybody thanks everything. Oh the way she was like, y'all, she said, look at our man, good our husband. I was like, I s relieved for some reason, like not you know, yeah, yeah, y'all have it.
You're right. I appreciate y'all having me on you do.
Thank you so much Jennifer for joining We Talk Bat. Y'all. If you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on your heart radio app and wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host AJ Holiday two point zero on instagrams Kick a Tail y'all its official team on Instagram. Y'all follow me and if y'all enjoyed this episode, I really enjoyed this episode. It makes me so hopeful and I'm just like a hopeless
romantic and I know some of you all are. So if you enjoy this, come back next week for a part two. We're gonna have another happy wife on y'all. Remember speak now and never hold your peace or meet like Drake, have a good day. Stop talking about my husband. Okay, bye, y'all.
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