EP 89: A Do-What?!

been going on? Girl, I ain't doing ship this weekend, if that's what you're asking. Nothing. I stayed in the house because I'm going away next weekend again, so I saved my money for that, and I adn't feel like being bothered with nobody's selling this weekend, so I just kind of chilled what you did? So apparently I've been at out of high school for twenty years now as an old bitch. So we had like a little pull up some of my classmates. It was a good time. Okay,

it was a really good time. Saw some people I haven't seen in a while because even though I'm in Charleston, I don't see nobody. Honestly, I don't, so yeah, I got to see something. Actually, one of my classmates does go to the gym with me. Other than that, I won't be seeing nobody. So it was a good time with them. We went out, went to a couple of spots. You a little better than all of them, of course. Okay, clear Me and my best decince first grade Priscilla, of course,

you know, shopping all people and adolescent saying adulthood. Okay, that was a good time. That's all I had going on and ship computer ship. I'm starting to read more, y'all. I don't know if y'all read, but I read. Yeah, I'm trying to read more. So you read some books? Yes, I was reading this week every right, like a bit you can read like I'm starting to read more. It's like a read bed on this ship. Like look at God, an't you doing? I get right? I write really well,

you know what I'm saying. A writer, But I guess that kind of goes hand in hand. It takes me a while to write because I have to really formulate my thoughts. But when I do, it's really good. So I need I've picked up reading a little bit more so I can get my my comprehension skills and spelling skills and reading skills altogether. Okay, so what are you reading right now? These nuts? I'm reading this book. I'm

reading a book. I get people what I'm reading because they're gonna be like, man, this bitch is the devil. Go ahead. What's reading thinking? Girl? Big? Is Napoleon Hill book. It's just a book about like your thoughts and manifesting and things like that. Yeah, that's what I'm reading right now. And then I also reading in the Art of Commerce, stre you a whole That's a whole book. The Artist is Sorry, the artist deduction. Oh I've read that before.

I have that. Yeah, but I've been reading books on magic and ship trying to perfect my craft a little bit better. See'all, motherfucker's better be careful. What uh? We We actually have some spells on today, So that's good. We got some spells on. Uh huh Susan spells. Oh right, but we'll get back to that all right. Let's get into stupid internet news. Cha cha chat? Okay, Sorrihanna finally

got going on an army. Rihanna is assumingly because she posted her hand on Instagram holding a football in the air and then uh. The NFL's Instagram page also posted that they are now the National Finty League, So that will let us know that Rihanna is going to be doing the halftime show for this year's Super Bowl. So Rihanna is super chunky right now after that damn baby. So I know she about to be on a stupid ass die, but I love how she looks. I liked,

I like, yes, I want to bite Rihanna. Okay, so are you gay? No? But she just looks soft. That's the gayest ship you ever said. But I don't want to bite like okay, sign know lesbians really want to bite Gucci. But I meant like, she just looked like she taste good. Starts starts really and I heard she smelled good like there's videos online about how good Rihanna sells.

So yeah, I can't wait to watch halftime. Should I might around trying to go to the damn uh Super Bowl and she performing Yes, I want to go me too. Let's get some tickets. Yes, I'm down. Let's get some men with tickets and then just be their cliss one period because I know the ticket is gonna be expensive. If Rihanna there, they way more than they usually are there. Mary J. Blige passing out last started. I love that for Rihanna though, me too. I'm happy for her. Hopefully

she got an album coming too. That would be nice. That would be nice that she do like a new song on the super Bowl. I hope it's extra black, and I hope white people be mad. It's like I'll be happy to Oh, let's get into Mystical. I don't know if you guys saw this, but um Mr Cole supposedly asked his victim of sexual assault he forced her to pray with him before he assaulted her, saying that he was going to remove the demons from her. Meanwhile,

he was the demon. He's a sexual demon, and he probably should have never been released from prison because obviously he's a predator. I don't understand, and I just feel like, I don't know, maybe this realm promotes this type of activity for some reason, like evil always prevails on this side. That dude is a menace to society. And I used to love Mtical like Mticle is fine as hell, like why you gotta take pussy. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of women that would just give it to you.

But we know rape is not about like, well exactly, it's not about the sentence about control and power over somebody else. Why why you want to be out here stealing cookies from women? Man's crazy. It's those type of people need to be lined up and executed. I don't really believe in corporal punishment like that, but man, he gotta get the funk up out of here. I'm sorry, and anybody like him, they gotta get out of here. You're just around here just ruining people lives, right quick, right,

don't take nobody's body from him. I hope they shake your faith and so your way. You're a little stupid. Like I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and he was almost like victim blaming talking about like, you know, somebody's videos on YouTube he was watching. He was like, you know, they kind of made a point because they were saying, how, um, you know, women put themselves in

dangerous positions for things to happen to them. So yeah, we gotta focus on men not rape women, right, but also women need not put themselves why the fuck do I have to adjust my entire life because you don't have no self control? And he was like, you know, women be walking outside three o'clock in the morning, usually those are car hoppers. You should be you should you should be able to walk outside any time and be safe, exactly, And and let's have to worry about protecting your body

from some fucking predator. Yeah. What I said to him was, listen, we gotta look at the statistics of how many women, I'll just say black women in particular, right, how many black women do you think are raped just because they walking outside three m in comparison to going on a date or visiting a man that you know and trust and being violated. I'm pretty sure that's a little bit higher.

Then walking outside three o'clock in the morning doesn't really happened, but as much, Yeah, it doesn't happen as much as somebody just going out with somebody and a man thinking he has, you know, all rights over your fucking body. It is. And you know, farewell to that nigga, Sorry to that nigger. Moving right along, we gotta talk about it nia long and I can't how do you pronounced that gentleman's name a duca ducal. So apparently this man

that I called cheating on the ain't none of us safe, y'all? Yeah, I don't be surprised exactly. Ain't nobody exempt from real life events. Let's be clear, even Kneel Long or Beyonce. Beyonce got cheated on too. All that's gone got cheated on. So Niil Long is no different. Okay? Do we even think? I'm almost starting to feel like mono monogamy. It's an idea of the past and it's no longer normal. We don't even know what type of relationship these people are,

and maybe they're in a non monogam this relationship. You just never know. What I do know is that why the funk? You can't funx somebody outside of the Celtics. So this is the head coach of the Magna be at work all the time, he got time to meet bitches outside of work. That's the problem at least. Okay, So here's the backstory, y'all. So a mayaducal head coach of the Celtics. He's been put on a year long suspension. They didn't say indefinitely, So right now he's suspended for

a year from the team. Right, he apparently was having an affair with the vice president of finances wife and then the team travel the person like who does the travel for the team? The two he's having sexities, two white women, both of them both phones. Listen, they ain't black, both phones, you know, So everybody's online just feeling so

bad for Nia long and Da da da. Let's take into consideration that Ni Along has been with this man for ten years, they have a child together, and he never married you, so like he's been a free agent all this time. Essentially technically, yeah, you ain't married. We can't have higher standards for the alone that she has for herself because now this man is cheated and you have no way to get any benefits out of him. There's no divorce going to happen where you could take

half as she don't need no benefits from that? Why not? Does she don't need it? When is the wind? I know the last movie I've seen her and was maybe two years ago now, But we're not gonna act like this man doesn't have more money than the Along. I don't know the basketball team NBA team, yes, and I believe he used to play as well, so and he find his Hell, let's let's let's be clear kicked up.

Listen that she might not even gave a fun if y'all talking so much about it that now she gotta act like that's most women like, Okay, yeah, cheated, but it's the embarrassment that it's the embarrassment like now the whole world, even if she wanted to stay with him, as almost like she has to make a choice. She's forced, girl, stay with your man. You fifty one, I'm pretty sure the first time he cheated. But this woman, the travel agent or whatever, he just she just helped her move

to Boston. She assisted me along because it wasn't personal. Clearly the funk wasn't personal. But imagine this is the motherfucker who scheduled ship for the team, right, so you're probably scheduling your disappointment when my man before you schedule me to come. She's a help she's a helpful home. Yo. Listen, at least you consider it. No, I would beat her up. You're playing in my face. That's for me. It's about it's the respect. You know. What I'm saying is that

the lack of respect. Who had it the man of the like that the lack of respect is her man. She's doing her job. That's her job, right, she can't. Your job is not the man. You know, her job is ship though, right that your job is not the schedule. You're pussy on his dick along with that. Okay, so we know just like the I always say that, Yes, the home record is the motherfucker that's in the home. Yes, understood.

But we all know that your man cannot cheat unless there's a bit out here willing to compete, and bitches us always willing to compete. Damn right they are. It ain't that many niggers out here, it's many. It's scarce, good man, how many stuffs? Good? Is he really good? We said, just say, well, pay on paper because he actually is a fucking slimeball. So the VP wife, she got caught up because her heart. Bring heard the conversation

on the rain, Yeah, get the ships out. I gotta watch out for the rain camera, Alexa, all that should telling on you the room. But like the little vacuum ship, that's the camera and the you gotta speaker on it. So now those things come together like if you order rumba, it kind of comes with Alexa, you can get like a package. So Alexa, you can say Alexa cut roomball

on or something like that. So Rumba is your eyes, Alexa is your fucking ears, and the rumor gonna bump into your many humping a bit sweeping around his feet. But listen, I'm sure that Nia Long's transition to that community was easier one with that bitch's help. Yo, I I just can't um. Oh goodness, why are you can't suck somebody else like you? You are? So apparently this guy has a white moms. He's by Rachel, so it's like, okay,

whatever he like in the middle. But just feel like when when black men get a certain like position in life, you you fight to get to this position, right, you fight to get Why are you gonna sunk it up like that? You know what he's gonna drag you, you know? And I also like the articles I'm seeing online about the ship with Brett Farvee and how he embezzled millions and millions of dollars. I believe this is a cover

so people not paying attention to that particular story. But on black social media, you know, we're dragging this ship. But this guy. But to me, that's a bigger story Bret far And they're not talking about it, Nope, not hardly. But this man, you know, simply smashing on some bitches. Do you you would have thought that it was, you know, unconsensual sex. You would think that he took somebody. Yeah, these women were willing participants. And I'm I'm trying to

figure out were they uh suspended? Did they lose their jobs? Right? Oh, y'all just gonna rape raap this black man across the damn coles for doing ship. All men do. And that's why I'm concerned that it's monogamy natural because niggas is risking their whole everything for a piece of pussy on the side. Isn't even natural? Like you risk your whole career,

your family, everything, it is natural. But I feel like, um, okay, so monogamy may not really be natural with Look, let's look at and we can have a whole show in this ship, but let's look at the benefits of being in a monogamous relationship. You know, we always look at the stuff on the outside, But what's the benefits of being in a in a in a monogamous relationship like black people. We talk about wealth building and generational wealth and all that. You can't do that without family. You

can't do that without your husband and wife. And you know this life y'all building around yourselves for your children and their children, like if everybody just out here. But you can't have all of that without being monogamous, can you? Though you're spreading yourself, then you have to have a lot of I feel like non monogamy is for rich people. It's for rich people. We're talking about is rich This

is rich people problems right here we talk about. Yeah, but we are broke niggers doing the same ship like y'are not. Y'all know these people have generational wealth or nia long really they have. It's still separate. Yes, she has a child with him, right, but what she doesn't get any benefits of something where to happen in a relationship because they aren't married, but baby will. Yeah. So if you have men out here just dropping seeds off, that's what black men like to call and they got

seeds they dropping every fucking where. You can't build ship with that. You spread thin. You don't let your dick make a slave out of you, like you can't take care of these children off, you know, mentally and physically and emotionally and financially. If you're not there, you can't be there for everybody. So that's why it's like it's

a plus to be monogamous. It's not a negative. What's the next you can you can name the negatives, but being a no nomino against relationship, but I can name a negative and being a monogamous so boring, same day over and over? Why them, same stroke years? Yeah, you can trust that you can getting STD from it though. Yeah, I feel like that that always be looking at them scales. Okay, I need that anyway, y'all listen, we got a special guest on the show today. Right after the break, we

have Susan Spells. She's a special person. You know, a lot of us. Come, yeah, let's hear about her. We'll be right back. All right, y'all, we're back and we have a special guests on today. Her name is Smiths. Susan Spells is She is a do lie I do love you do. I'm doing good, Cory good good. I

couldn't wait to say that. Shut up me? Hey so then hey, j alright, So the reason why I specifically wanted to bring a do law on is because I've just been seeing so much information spreading about black women dying at childbirth and we're not getting the same care in hospitals that you know, our white counterparts do when

it comes to giving birth. So I wanted to speak to someone who uh is a doulah and a birthing person to get some more information for us and our listeners about what that looks like outside of traditional hospitals. So first let me ask you this, how how did you decide that you wanted to get into this particular industry. Well, I was, um a preschool teacher at first. UM. I

was in college for nursing school. I always knew I wanted to be around kids babies, So I was in school for nursing UM and then I was like, I'm just gonna take a break. So I took a break and I started working as a preschool teacher. And from there it was just like, okay, this is something I have something. Um My coworkers would say, oh girl, these kids be acting know when I'm here, but when you're here,

they don't be acting like this. It must be something about you, something about your any judity, something Yes, and then once I was like, okay, that's that's good. Then the parents started to notice and they started to show their appreciation. UM. Their kids would call me mom and they're like, UM, you know how kids would cry to go into their care. Their kids wasn't doing that, they wanted to come. And then I was just something went

inside of me. I was like, Okay, what can I do that I can have this experience from the start, like from the making, supporting these parents, supporting them through UM pregnancy, UM childbirds, and even with help raising the children. UM. So I started looking into things and I came across the word do with UM. Just like everybody else, I didn't know what that was. So I just started to

look more into it. And around that time, UM, a big story had came out where a woman had died in childbirth and her husband was advocating for her and UM starting up organizations and things like that. UM. So that really maybe get into It's like, well, why are we dying? You know? Why are we three to four times more likely to die than the white our white

kind of counterparts. UM. And once I started looking into that and digging into that, that made me realize, Okay, this is something I need to do, especially at I was only twenty one two at the time, so I was like, this is definitely something I need to do for my generation, um, for when I have children, for my sister, for my cousins, you know, and that's really

what got me started. So, you know, for our listeners who don't know exactly what a doula is, and you kind of touched on a little bit, but tell us exactly what a doula is and what what uh a pregnant mother could expect. So by Google definition, a dula is like a trained professional who provides support during pregnancy, UM, childbirths, the postparting period. They educate you, they advocate for you, motivate you. UM. But as for me a dula and how I am as a dua, UM, I'm a therapist.

I'm a counselor. UM. Sometimes with my mom's from the moment they pee on the stick, so I'm working with them for thirty plus weeks on end um. I'm they're supporting their other children. I'm supporting them through every life change that happens during pregnancy. I'm supporting and educating them on things that the doctor may not act or supporting them with giving them resources to midwives, UM, so that they can achieve home works if they wanted to birth

outside of the hospital. UM. I give them so much love and so much support and just cater to them throughout their whole experience, even after in the postparting period. So all right, you said, um, with midwives, what's the difference between a do luck and a midwife? Is there a difference there? There is? So a mid wife would kind of be like your OBI. So when you go to the hospital and they would be your delivery doctor. That's exactly what you're obi is I mean? But I'm sorry,

that's exactly what your mid wife is. So your mind wife. They still will do pre NATO visits with you. They'll like check your yearine, check the baby's position, different things like that. So they are going to be your medical provider. They're going to be there too, uh, make sure that your baby is healthy, different things like that. Versus your

DUA is your support there, your labor companion. Uh, there's somebody that works with you on the ins and out and when you need some support At two am, Hey, I'm having this pain, I'm having this thing and I don't just want to rush to the hospital for them to turn me around. What are some things I can do? Um Or I'm just not happy right now in pregnancy

and I just need to vent. That's what that do is. Therefore, Okay, I think a lot of times people think about when they think about home birth, they automatically think doulah, Right, But how important is it for you to have a doula and a midwife if you plan on doing a home birth. Very important, It's very important, and and it can it can be done. It can be done without

a midwife, um. But the importance of having that midwife is to make sure that if anything goes left, you are in a safe space and you have somebody that's knowledgeable that can help you out in a medical way, UM safer instance, if baby comes out and baby is not breathing, they are there and they have oxygen and they have things that they can do to help baby breathe. Again, everything's like that where a doula cannot step out of their role as a dude to dolah and become a

medical provietor. So it's important to have a midwife because you just have an extra level of security, extra level of support and um just safeness. Um. I have a question. Have you ever had like a really hard situation with a mother, Like what was that? Like? Did you have any experiences were like damn, this bit like you need

to calm down. I haven't. I haven't. I I really cope and UM coach my clients through what I expect um and they usually performed like um when there's time to cut off that doula client relationship like hey, okay, we're done. You know I can't keep calling. You can't keep calling me at two am. You know those type of things. So those are things I established in the beginning. So at the end I won't be like damn, because that would be me, Susan. I ain't gonna lie. You'd

be like, uh, tam you call it? The baby is three? Fun? Do you want? That's like only special people like right the hand of that type of ships. So, UM, do you do you recommend uh that people actually have dolers versus going to hospitals at all, like going to like regular traditional doctors. Would you recommend that every all black

women just have doulas. I would recommend well, I would say, for one, you can have a duet inside the hospital, especially in like rural areas where there's not a lot of you know, birthing centers and um midwives in the area to come to your home birth. There is the option of having a hospital birth, but you can't have a duel inside that hospital birth. UM, but I do.

I will recommend every Black woman to birth that home to birth with a midwife, into birth with the doulah, those three things period, because at the end of the day, there is something broken inside of the hospital system to brest in medicine and something broken, and we are being fought for it. It works, It's not broken because it worked. It worked doing what it's supposed to do to us right in particular right, and it's it definitely needs a change.

So that's why I definitely recommend every Black woman, even if even if there isn't a chance that you cannot um have a home birth in the area that you are in, how are that duel? How are that duel

is to come into the hospital with you? And I mean, I guess when will think about having to pay for a doula or even a midwife, the the amount of money you pay for for a hospital birth, it's probably three to four times more than the money you could just put aside to you know, finance a dula and a midwife, have your video at home, like I would definitely have my child. I'm not interested in all these people in the room, right, I don't know, don't suck

with it when I'm trying to have birth. UM, there's different type of duelas right, there's not just a birthing duelas to tell us about a couple of different um types of duels. So, UM, but a mom can expect from him. You have a postparton duo UM, and that postparton dula usually helps them after birth, after birth the three to six months down the line, things like that you have UM a death dula and that's a dula that supports when UM a child has passed away UM

during the pregnancy or during the birth. UM, you have a boy, she can do us do us who support women who would want to go have an abortion? UM, who'll spect you do as they do everything? UM. All the postpartum person supposed to birth doer. You have fertility doers who help women become pregnant. UM. So there's a lot of different types of doers depending on the need of the woman. Okay, what type of duel are you?

I'm a birth doer and a postpartum do it. Okay, so I can't call you three years after the baby been born. That's not three years. But listen, long as long as you're willing to keep on paying, I will be there. I would there. You're gonna be high as hell girl. So all right, we're uh do lahs and midwives. Let's say a woman is having a baby, she's actually in the act of having a child. Can she get an epidural? But she gotta have natural breaths, not at home. Yeah,

it's all natural. So that's another thing that you sign up for when you are um doing a homebirth, you are signed up for all natural. You gotta be a big woman. You gotta be a big, big, big girl. And I know it. I know it hurts, but that's what that dost for it and that's why we are there to help you do different things to manage that pain. We do different positions. Um, we put you in different things and give you different things to just help you

with that pain. Because, like you said, it's also all natural. Can you give me some examples of some of those things, yes, because if I'm gonna need y'all to roll me up of blood. Like, hey, I sad. Clients act like, hey, can I at least have some CBD. I'm like, whatever, you whatever you need to do, all right? Of course, just walking, we do curb walking. Uh. We do positions with the roboso um, which is a sticking tool that we use for birth um, hands and knees, lunges. So

it's a it's a lot of like active little workouts. Um, we're on the birth ball. We can get you in your bathtub. If we don't have a birth pool, we can do birth birth pool or backtub exercises to help believe that pain um tense machines, accupesture massages for all types of different little things, y'all don acupuncture. Wow, Okay, when should someone hire a doa like? So you just find out your pregn you oh you did say you? Um have been with some moms from the time they

tee on the stick. But usually when do people hire a door, usually they hire them after they get their first appointment and they find out their estimated to dates. Okay, mm hmm, I'm still thinking about all right. So let's say we're doing a natural birth and the baby is breached, didn't you just rush into a hospital or like what is that? Because then you don't almost have to go to the hospital, right, No, No, that's that's where we're

taking you know, that's what we're taught. But with a trained mint wife who knows what they're doing, they will be able to deliver that baby breach um. And that's the thing most that we're taught that you know, if your baby's breached up, that's it. There's no vaginal bird, there's your c section and not knowing there's so many different things that you can at least try to do

to help get baby to turn. Also, waiting, you know, they say thirty seven weeks, but you have a true forty two weeks to wait until your baby is safely come so baby can flip any time. Um. But with that train mint wife, they will be able to deliver that baby safely, no problem. What do you think about? How? Um? What? I just had a class in its past um weekend and one of my classmates she's pregnant. This is her

first baby. You know we all always okay, So she was saying, like her induced date, they already gave her an induced date for for November, but her due date isn't until December. What do you think about them inducing pregnancies because you just said weight right, wait until the baby is ready to come, because I think it's uh important for the baby to come through the birth canal. Right, So what do you think about how doctors are quick

to give black women's a lot of C sections. I feel like they just want to scar us um and just making sure you know, UM, you aren't Russian the process right. I feel like it's very selfish and they most of the time, I only think about themselves. They could be planning for vacation, or they have so many women that they just want to get it knocked out. You know, so different things UM that comes into play

with induction. Induction is not always bad, but when it's unnecessary, it can lead to a lot of interventions that we don't want to happen. UM. So for women, especially Black women, we have to educate ourselves and understand the process of births UM. And if there's no medical reason to induce the benefits of waiting until labor naturally starts on its own, So what's the benefits? Um? You allow the baby to

develop their lungs, foods more. Um. Being able to carry full term and deliver full term is better than having a thirty five week old baby that's been induced or c section or anything like that, because it gives them more time to just develop and grow and get all those extra benefits and nutriments that you provide through your

precenta and things like that. Mhm, yeah, because I think got read like they pick up like a certain bacteria that the baby needs that comes when coming through the birth can now that you miss when you have c sections and stuff like that. So do you think that plays a part in like, well we said development of the baby, but maybe even having um. There's a lot of children now for whatever reason, they have autism. A

lot of black boys in particular that have autism. So I wonder what the correlation between UM, c section and vaccination men got to do with you know what's happening with with with the black boys in particular. Yes, especially with vaccines. A lot of we we are just not educated. We're taught, Oh you got it two plus years ago. So it's just still be safe. You have to look into those things and it's okay to then that mine

they change just like the medicine on the shelf. It changes, so everything changes and you just have to be educated to know that you know, it may not be the same. I've definitely read and seen a lot of stories of women saying, you know that their child was normal and they was advanced and they were smart, and then they went to get there three year old vaccines and then they start to see signs of autism and signs of

them decelerating. So different things like that has to show you that, Okay, it must be something that we need to look more into before we just sign up because medical standard, because the school wants you to have vaccination. Wait, there's homeschooling, so there's different options. But we just have to be educated. Do you promote do you promote like homeschooling?

And I don't really want to ask your stance on vaccination, but is that something you kind of coach moms on, like, hey, you know, how do you feel about this because you have influenced Yes, well I do. I do ask them. I never want to pers the way them in a way that I would personally go because at the end of the days, their child and that's definitely what the doctors do there Hey, you know you have to do this because if not, you're gonna kill your baby or

you're gonna put your baby at risk. So I never want to be like that. So I always educate them. Ask them first, hey, how do you feel about this? What do you feel about this? Um? And then educate them Black I have a client um. Mom didn't want circumcision, but dad wanted sig decision, and they asked my personal opin um. I said, I would give my son circumcise, but I also would leave it up to the dad to make that decision only because he's a man. He

has to live with it. He knows, just like if there was a situation with us as a woman, they don't have no right. So it's up to you because you are a woman, and whatever you say, you know. But also just communicate. But yeah, I definitely don't try to just force my opinion, but I definitely just try to guide and edgue cake and provide resources so they can make their own choice. What's the benefits of circumcision? Like I'm confused about, like why they dick came with

that extremity. I honestly do not know. I honestly do not know. I have to do some more research on it. It's biblicult. Yeah, people get circumcised. It's some Bible ship. So yeah, if the dick came that way, it should probably stay that way. It takes away sensation, you know when you cut that ford skin off, Like it's it's a religious thing why babies are circumcised, because if you look at muslimen, a lot of them are not circumcised. Um, go ahead, sorry, Susan. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

that's so true. That is definitely so true. Um. But they I know, there's there's benefits and circumcis circumcising, but they also said there's benefits and not circumcising, And they're saying, you know, you just need to teach propericness and different things like that when you're not circumcised. Right, That's what I say. It's just a personal opinion. It's definitely a personal opinion. Like, I don't know how true this is, but I did research it on the internet. One time

I was talking about circumcision. It said that that foreskin is for the man to like remove the previous man's sperm from the vagina. Probably why they sell they say it smells yeah, So that means you're not supposed to be monogamous if the man is equipped to get rid of the other man's first you know, right right, I think it's just about cleaning. You gotta if you if you're a man and you're uncircumcised, you don't want your son to be circumcised, right, You're gonna have to teach

him how to clean that thing. I think that's what it balls down to. It gets because I had this friend in England and she said that her man was uncircumcised and he would want her to and suck his dick, but he would have cheesy bits. He would always have those cheesy bits like yeah you know, uh uh and then I don't know, uh you know, sentiment to crunch dick. So how would you describe your dula style? Like what

are do doula? St house? So I'm putting these questions from the bump and they said the extra doula, what is her duela style? What's my dat style? I would say, I'm a funda calm, very patient, very knowledgeable. Um, I don't play. I'm very u passionate about my clients. So anytime they tell me anything. I'm like, on go for them, making sure that I do whatever I need to do to get them the information they need. Um, if they're having a problem with the doctor, I'm like, hey, let

them know. You know, you don't have to be scared. I motivate them to like, no, tell them because at the end of day, you you're paying them. They're not paying you, You're paying them. So I would say my style is just fun, all all in and just passionate. So it's it's giving black mamas. Yeah, and I'm young, so so they probably don't expect it. And I've worked with you know a lot of women that's older than me. Um, so they I'd probably be on them like a mama. Yeah.

Is there any certain type of training that you've had to have in order to like to be certified for this? Yes. Um. I went through the National Black Duders Association with Tracy on Collin. She um started this organization to train black dude and that's who I went with for training. UM and I also got set a part with them, no stoke. Um, what what advice would you have for a woman who wants to become a doula, for a woman that wants

to become a do it. I would say you have to have passion, like you really have to want to do this because you want to see black women thrive. You want us to be saved, and not because you personally had a bad birth experience and you want to save the black women or you want to save us from not having that experience, because at the end of the day, having a doula it's so beneficial. But also birth is birth, and birth is unpredictable, and there's some

things that we just cannot control. So you can't go in thinking that you're gonna save everybody, and you can't go in thinking like, don't be rich, I'm gonna take all these people money, because it's not about that either. Um, So you definitely really just have to have the passion and real goal of why you are doing this, why are you doing this work. Hopefully by the time I have a baby, I want to have Erica. If I do, I know, I want to work with her so bad.

I'm like I'm like d m her on Instagram, I'm like, hey, I just want to see at your feet, like I just want to learn from you whatever. I need that type of energy in the room when I have a baby. Yes, Um, have you ever had an experience where one of the women that you were working with lost the baby? I haven't, Thank god, I haven't had any like unsuccessful stories of no passing of any Black women and babies, so that

I'm grateful for. I was reading this article on I don't know if y'all I got this app call medium, but I just found it real interesting. So the the the tidle of the article was a doula's role in a medicalized birth and the danger of glorifying natural birth

as ideal. And just look at the illustration. You got the white doctor and the black woman right, So it's almost like they want to deter black women from having to at home births and just put our lives in their hands at the hospital where we are more likely to die. Like I know a couple of people who

have had home births. I don't know what the statistics are, and I'll probably look into it to see, you know, are when women have at home births, like has there been in these situations where the baby did pass, You will see people delivering the babies in the cars and all types of ship on the way to the hospital. Even just having a baby on your back could cause you know, issues during childbirth. What you know, like back in the day, people would have babies in the water.

Just push it straight out, Like why would you be laying on your back at this angle trying to push something out? Just think about when you um use the bathroom. You don't lay on your back bees the bathroom. You literally standing up squatting. Same thing when you you're pushing out a baby. M hm. That you should if you go to the I'm telling you, I never scared. I can't wait. It's the That's the thing. We should be

more scared of going to the hospital these days. Like you should feel more safe at home, especially when you have the right team, because the hospital they be playing games, baby playing games. I just you know, I've had an experience. I was pregnant before I end up losing the baby, but those controls and I was like nearly six months and uh, those contractions was painful as hell. I can't imagine. Because I end up having UM. I was scheduled to have a D and D is that what it's called.

That's just where they take the baby out because the baby was already deceased inside me. So the night before it started happening naturally, and them contractions hurt so bad, and I couldn't imagine if that baby was full term, what that must have what it would have felt like pushing that baby out full term? It was. It was. That's why I keep going because I don't know, you know, like listen, it's a lot like I just had a birth, got one foot in the grave, but I believe it,

like you really got one ft in the grave. I was just had a birth the other day, and due to the policies with COVID, I wasn't able to be inside the room, so I was in the libby and I just heard my mom just screaming. He was just screaming. And when I seen her the names say, I'm like, I know he was pushing that baby out because I could hear it. She was like, yeah, I just like I tried, but I just had this dream and I'm like, it's okay. It hurts, it hurts, It hurts, it hurts,

so whatever works. I wish there was like a epper doula ship y'all been watching? Uh, how did y'all ever watch King Game of Thrones? Because now they have like House of Dragons. So it was a line on the show just recently. The guy was what I guess it would be an equivalent in the Midwife. She was essentially saying like, um, like what did she say? Like the pregnancy and labor and stuff is like the the battlefield

for women. And on this particular scene, like they literally just cut this baby out of the woman just cut the baby, y'all didn't give a funk what was about to happen to her afterwards. He just wanted the king that are He just wanted the son the ear to the They both died too, Yeah, the baby, both of them ended up dying. So imagine, like that's that's rough to think. That's the type of ship women used to go through, And yeah, that's how still go to go

through in reality. Even no matter how you birth your baby, that's all people care about when the baby comes. They care about that baby. And that's another thing why it's important to have that do LI because why family and everybody is on focused on the baby. We are focused on you your mental health. How are you feeling after going through this battlefield? How are you feeling after pushing this baby out or having to be cut open to get your baby out, different things like that. So it

definitely still has thems. My older sister when she had my niece, and my niece got a smart mouth now, and I know my sister to be like, girl, if you knew what I went through to get your motherfucking ass here, you shut up. My sister. They she's military, so she was in the military hospital, which is even like sometimes it can be like a little crazy. And there they held her down, They held her arms and her legs. There was like the baby's like about to

die or something. I don't know exactly what the terminology was, but they held her arms in her legs and sliced her open. No anesthesia, no, nothing, just held her and cut her open. Issues, yes, and she just passed out from the pain. She said, I just passed out from the pain and they pulled the baby out. When you're talking about what twenty years ago, yeah, about almost yeah, almost twenty years ago, about nineteen years ago. They held my sister's arms and legs. There was like hold her down.

I was like what what what? They just cut her? Yeah. That goes to how they think that black women can just paying that white women can't. And we even get that type of ship from our own men, like white women are treated like like so delicately, don't make her cry with all this fucking care. But I feel like part of it is our problem, our fault, because we come in with this the strong woman. Nah, y'all bitches,

We're not strong, no matter we need something. I'm a damsel and fucking yeah, I couldn't imagine that, Like, how is that? That's not normal? And I wonder if that that whatever happened to, you know, a woman of another ethnic group, Like, why would they do that to a black woman? Mm hmmm. She said she woke up and the baby was here, and she was a young She would have been a young girl at that time too, right,

she was, yeah, like in her early twenties. Wow. But imagine women giving birth in prison, which oftentimes are black women too. I know. Um, I don't know if y'all know Angela Stanton, you know a lot of people she get a lot of hate because she's a Trump supporter,

was a Trump supporter, but she's a Republican. But she had her baby in prison, and you know, one of the things she was a would to get Trump to do was, you know, make sure that women who are pregnant in prison have the proper medical attention because she was strapped down to a to a bead and had her baby in jail. That would be something good for doulers though. That's what I was just thinking about. Nonprofit. That would be a good nonprofit and you will definitely

get support. You can get some government grand shot to um, you know, just to be a duela for the person for sure, because you needed sick. Yeah, you need to look into that because that would be good. It definitely would be good. If it doesn't already exist, somebody needs to definitely do that. I wonder if that exists, because I'm thinking, I'm about to go get my certificate. I'm

telling you what to do. You let I'm not even get my certification and get this Bible once three popping right quick, get me some damn government grants to be given birth in prison. Yeah, you should do that if you're not already doing it. See, you have to be like a very patient, for I cannot be. They'd be like, dammy, you need to calm the funk down. I'm the one having the baby. Why are you so exciting? Yeah, you're stressing the mama out, you're stressing the mama out. Yeah. Yeah,

So you gotta you take special people. You gotta be a special person for that kind of word. W look flight attendants. M Yeah. I have One time I had a mom. She was um and this is the mother in law. She was like, why would this happen? I'm like, listen, lady, calm down, Calm down. I was like, at the end of the day, you know, y'all in the hospital, I can't go and get the hospital policies and I can't go but what their doctor is telling them, So you know,

pop down a little bit. But you, like you said, you have to be calm because any of anybody else could have been like, oh who you're talking to? Like, you're not gonna talk to me like this, you don't know my job. But I was like, you know, I understand, I understand where you're coming from him, but let me tell you my position and what I'm here to do and what we're going to do because this is what they hired me for in a respectful way. So most of your clients are at home births. Um, let's make

sure of both. So UM, right now, I'm in the Augusta area and will be. I've been traveling, so I've been in Atlanta, just all little parts of Georgia my first two years in business. So they've had hospital births, home births, unassisted birds, so just been a mixture of all of them. Unassisted birth so it's just you and somebody pushing out of bad And that was my first

birth ever. It was an unassisted birth. I was scared, as I was scared as both, but you know, I had that energy would need to be done and that's what happened. And I've had some more since then. But yep, it's just me them and sometimes their partners, and like I said, I have to stay in my role, but in the event anything was to happen, I would have to like coach them on what to do and call them not want emergency. I imagine. It's so beautiful though.

I imagine I have to watch those videos. You'll be watching them videos on Instagram and ship. I watched him, my best friend you watching them all the time. She was obsessed with having she manifested her kids because she would have us in her house watching the videos all the time, and I'd be in the room. But it's amazing. There's a lot going on. So do you like, oh, sorry,

go ahead, go ahead. I was just about to say, like we should stop calling, like you know what men be like, Oh man, you're acting pussy like pussy is really strong. What are you talking about? Right? So find a new word? Right? Did so? I read something here about um placenta encapsulation. Do you know what that is?

What is that? That's something I do? So basically, that's where we take the placenta and we um seem it with herbs and things like that, with her face like that to um, and then we dry it out and it turns into this like hard piece of placenta and we grind it up into powders and put it into pills, into capsules, and we give it to the mom to take postparting. And the benefit and that is to help with milk supply. UM. It can help with decreased um,

feeling of postparting depression or baby blues. It helps your uterine uterus comes track back to pre pregnancy size, helps with iron. So all the things that it was providing to your baby in the womb, you're gonna now take that and still be able to provide it to them by breastfeeding and through um giving it to yourself. Right. So in the hospitals, oftentimes they won't give you a percenta right. No, you have to advocate for it. You

have to sign a paper for it. And usually most times when they give it back to you, they want you to take it out immediately. They don't even want anything to do with it after that. So why is that? What do they do? What do they do with the placenta? They claim they are testing it, but I believe, especially with our placenta, they're doing more with it. They're definitely doing more with it. They're definitely doing more with it.

So that's why I always encourage my mom's. Hey, even if you do not want to do presentsa encapsulation, take your presents to we can figure out there's so many different things that you can do with your presents to um other than consuming it. But just take your assume somebody else is pusting it to Like could I give my nigga one of the pills, like one of these? Yep you could? And like I also do a tinct shire.

So that's where I take a piece of the raw organ, put it inside like a teacher photto with a hundred percent a hundred proof alcohol and it's six for six weeks. And I think that they can drain it and to start taking that by now, and that can be given to other children like their other children if they get sick, given to the husband. They can take it all of

all of the families. That's me m hm. So imagine that's why the hospital wants your percent to They probably use it in medicine, all these natural things that they want to condemn. It's actually good for you, yeah, because if you look on Google bills and oh it's not safe too for your pistance encapsulation, it is because it's like, what are you guys doing with it if it's not beneficial in some way? Mm hmm. That's interesting. I definitely

learned something with that one. Now, all these pregnant women number like, are you encapsulating your placanthic? Girl? Can I have a piece of gonna keep my skin glowing? Look at you? Yes, that's right. It's a bad placent to job is such? Is there such thing as bad placenta? Yes? So within the hospital they will test it. Even when you take your percents at home, they still want to test it to see if you have like any infection

anything like that. Um, let's say, if like you have a fever doing labor and anything like that in an affection of rose, or if um something happening where um, something was wrong with your plasinsa during pregnancy, They'll be able to let us know, so we willn't be able to encapsulate it if there is an infection or anything like that instide of it. Okay, So you can't do that type of testing when you have a home birth,

all right, that would be it would be suggested. It would be suggested home birth midwives they do examine, so they will examine it um and do different things, and if it looks any type of way, they'll let they'll usually let me know. Okay, mm hmm, alright, So I think I'm out of questions. You got anything else? Ages, No, I don't know. I just want way. I want black women to be safe, man. I want more Black women to get into home birth, just holistic living altogether. Y'all know.

I'm a whole whole tap as y'all like to call me, but I'm probably gonna be around time about a hunted. Okay, I just call you home as long as you have missed in front bit shi Alright, so, uh, do you have any advice for our listeners if they're interested in getting to do it? Research, do your re stage, reach out and just go for it. Trust yourself, trust that you can do whatever it is that you put your mind to when it comes to birthday, and know that

you have options. You got plenty options. That's beautiful. Tell tell our listeners where they can find you. You guys can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Susan the birth Dower, on online ww dot, Susan the birth Dela dot com and TikTok Susan the birth Dewer. M hm than thank you. On Instagram, A chocolate is smiling. I was like, this is y'all went on the show right here. Yeah, I'm probably gonna get to Erica, but I do so I'm probably calling your ass whatever, nigga shoot the club up. Yeah,

I'm gonna pick up my baby daddy right now. Thank you so much girl, You guys, you guys have a good one. Listen. If guys enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on your I Heart Radio, Apple wherever you get your podcast that this is your co host aj Holiday two point oh y'all, we live now. Okay www dot We talk back, e n T dot Com. Hit us up, check out the website. We got merchandise coming. All that good ship um um y'all. It's official tam

BAM on Instagram, y'all, please follow me. I love y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in once again. Y'all. Remember to speak now and never hold your motherfucking peece bye. Right,