EP 88 Emergency Contact

I'm here for y'all every week. So thank you for coming, coming, coming to Lie, coming to damn Lie. That's what I do best. Okay, Hey girl, what's up? Y? I'm trying to get my damn energy up to and I'm papa little corner of an addie and they ain't working either. I don't know what the fuck is happening. I have rice today. That might be what it is that rice to be swelling your ass up. It's almost like grits.

I need a nap, I need I don't know. I don't know if it's because mercury is in retrograde I don't even really know what that means, but I'm blaming everything in my life on that right now. I believe so tired, I believing that. I think it's because I just I really be like go go go, go, go spe raised or go like all day every day, like just going, going going. I went to Florida this past weekend to work a wedding, and then I came back and then was I guess it was a time difference

to maybe that's why I'm so tired? What part of who do you want to the West Side? I wasn't destined? Destined, Oh they might be an hour behind right down Mountaintown. They are so And then you know, it was working in things can be people crazy that time line. That's if you cross the ocean, you have jet lag, not just like a little small time difference like that girl mercury and retrograde. And I was in a different time zone, sucking retarded and I'm tired, and we'll how was the

wedding you did? It was beautiful as a beach wedding. It was very lovely. They looked to be in so in love and happy. So I'm happy for them. And you know, like I'm doing hair for a wedding can be hectic sometimes because brides just be all over the place and their bridesmaids, and if it's not really organized, it can be a real stressful experience. But this wasn't too bad, so I was grateful for that. I didn't get to hang out like I wanted to, just because

you know, I was there as the help. I wasn't. Really there's to just go lay on the beach all day. So did you get somebody it in? Though I did not get that I was invited to the wedding. But I typically when I do brides, I stay with them to the moment they walk out. So when they go walk out, that's when I go get dressed. So I usually just go to the reception. I don't you typically

make it to the way. Yeah that sounds about right. Yeah, I end up like I've never been in a wedding, done a wedding where I didn't end up like a kind of honorary bridesmaid, not in a dress. But I'm doing ship that is not hair related, like I'm helping pinship. I'm helping like I don't know. I always end up

doing that for some reason. So I was putting bitches guard belts on on her thigh, like you know, all kinds of stuff, you know, just that seems like a scary job with black women on their wedding day and their hair. Yeah, everybody, it is, it is. It can be stressful, but I have thank God, I've never had a bride that was not satisfied with what I did for them. So we jumped. Who's gonna get jumped? All the bites in their bridesmaids and a and the and

that this part was. I was the only scheduled I was only hired to do curls, curl her hair and stalid on the day of the wedding, but her hair did not come in time for her hair appointment, so I ended up having to do a whole soul in the night before the wedding. God damn, I know what if you would have planned to come the same day or something early and it would have been up we would have been up dust thirty in the morning. Thing in training Aamn shame. He got to be more carefully.

He's Goddamn hair companies. You gotta realize. I hate to talk to you about black people, but even they boutiques and ship. You got a seven day processing and then they finally ship your ship out. That's how they time from trying them exactly. That's why you know, I do want to support people, clothing companies and boot boutiques the ship, but you know i'd be on Ali expressing Ali baba too.

I know how much you pay for that thing, and I just don't feel right give you all my fucking money when I know I can go straight to the source and get that ship for twenty dollars and I can get them into all colors, all lengths or whatever it is that I'm ordering. So I do want to support small businesses, but I do not want to feel like I'm getting finessed. So this past weekend I went to this comedic store in Charleston, and you know, to get like to see how much the sea moss was

and stuff like that. This nigg is selling like four ounces of c moss for like or some ship like that, Like I could buy a whole pound. So now in my mind, like, yes, I want to support small business, but like if this nigger had four ounces a weed and charging meters astronomical amount of money for it, I wouldn't buy it. You know what I'm say, ain't so it's the same thing. So I don't want to feel like I'm being finessed. Even if you are, you don't want to feel like it. You know, I don't want

to know that I mean finesse shame. But yeah, I do much other than that. This weekend chilled out. My car is in the body shop, so bitch. I've been riding my bike to the gym every day, so I have been doing that. You was out here like Bamby. Remember that episode of Love and Hip Hop with Ben we rolle her bike the scrape House. I see that ship. But how bad you gotta be? You was out there. You was out here like Jody on the bit all we here. I love riding bike, y'all. Okay, I'm a

certified spinsh structor. Bitch, I'm getting on a bike if I don't do nothing else. I ride my bike a lot. I like. I like wearing my bike too. Yeah, that was something that I didn't pick up until pandemic, though honestly, I was not riding bikes before. No, I'm a grown naswarman dog. I went outside with no bike. I got a bike just because it wasn't shipped else to do. During the pandemics, I went about a bike and I almost got Let me tell you, Let me just tell

you this story, but let me tell your story. Me and the nigga who bought the bike. He lived out in the country, right, So we was riding our bikey, this is the first day I got on this bike. We're riding through eastover South Carolina, which is the country, y'all. And bitch, we ride past some trailers and three pit bulls come running full speed to and I had on red leggings, right, bright red leggings. I knew they've seen that big chunk of ass, but I'm gonna bite this

bit and I'm talking about that. Came running towards me full speed. Bitch. I paddled for my life, get me, get me, he said. He slowed down, he said, just keep paddling, baby, and he pulled his puss out and shot them dogs and killed them dogs right there. Yeah, he sure did kill them dogs where they really coming. They were coming viciously coming towards me. I was scared for my life for real. And he shot him and then we stopped killed three dogs dead, and then well

that's what happened, and let me tell you. Then we rolled down the street a little bit and we stopped and call the police. We called the police, and we wait for the police to come. And then he went back with the police to the trailer and knocked on the owner's door and told him what happened. And the owner was like, you know, people don't typically come around this part. You know, nobody is ever over here. And those dogs are trained to his hat, you know, they see.

So he went out in the woods and found him. They was all dead in the woods. Damn, that's fucked up. How fucked up. I was minding my damn business. They was about to eat my ass up. That nigga saved me. I was like, put your out, He saved my life. Just a love to be rescued. Say what we got going on in stupid internet news today, chack girl, A lot of stupid ship period, period, period girl. I do not want to hear that sound in my fucking air. I feel like that bit is doing a magic spell

on y'all niggas. Why the fun can a white woman blow up acting black? But if it was a black woman doing the same ship, Oh, she gets like that we're gonna say the same ship. She get on this a nap, but you are shelling sharing the hell out of that bullshit. It's she gonna work around get a million dollars off y'all, exactly every time, every time, every time she ran out. She can't even sing a song because she ran out of breath for the last party.

But a video saying it while she was in the mirror, like Chloe did a video like I don't want to hear that ship. Don't say that ship to me because it's just retardation. At this point, what the fun is that? Did you see that other video she had like a wig that looked like George Washington or something. No, I did not. I'm still yo, why do we constantly let these get these people shine? I'm just confused, man. We

just need to start doing some worright. We need to start filming and just start doing some really ignorant ship so we can just blow all the way. I don't want to blow. I have integrity. I don't want to blow up in that way. I don't. I'll do it. I'll do it for us. I have integrity. But I wanted the bag period of period, all money ain't good money. I'm cool, cool, Well I'm gonna spend it and see which when I get after I spend. Do you think shouting do your thing? I can't do it. I'm a

real nigga. Okay, you ain't gonna never catch me doing no stupid ass ship for the check ever. Ever, let's just depend on how stupid is how stupid is it? You know? Is it gonna set our raised back? I don't want to do that, but if you don't, if it's just all funny games, I can. I can do it. Girl. You see how Tory Lanes asked done uh sucker punch August Susina or he says he got sucker punch punch.

I don't know, but well that picture, if y'all saw that picture, he looked like he got more to sucker point that nigga looked dizzy as that picture of him. Why would he post that picture? I do not know. It is beyond me why he would post that picture because I guess he's about to soothe and right, you want to make sure everybody sees all the evidence of what happened. Tory Lanes. You got pen and charges already for shooting Mega stallion and your ass think this ship

is cute. I'm sure he has the syndrome. Why are you beating somebody up because they say, hey, do you that's what it sounds like. That's what it sounds like. What shot low was mad about? What I remember? I remember because he shot him out. I remember that mention. My city didn't save my name. Oh shame, short man syndrome Another thing. M y'all niggas got something to prove. I like short men, though they'd be mean. Though. I'll tell you that short men do be mean. Tarm man

be mean too. You think so it's the medium height ones that know how to act. I don't know. B sixth one right, six one is medium height. That's like I felt like five ten to six one to six ft to six ft six one is tall? You think so? I like six one now? M that's tall? Yeah know my thing. I like short men now, but sixth one is the max, and I think sixth one is like good. Anything taller than that is usually dumb. Yeah, anything taller than that. I'm at dick height and he feels like

I suck his dick all the time. And short equals mean. The niggas just disgruntled. Hi niggas, it's fucking mad Tory Lanes as a guy there, woman and man beat it's something wrong with him. It is something wrong with him, Like, I don't think he got it all because there's no way like you in court essentially to me fighting for your life and you around here as salt and people. You hit him first, he even hits you back, even get the opportunity to. So you assaulted him. He got

bruises on his arm legs. Evidently you might have knocked him out. Did you at least pitched the bitch shape? Look? Did you see blue face Done done sucked out Christian rock Daddy? And I saw the video and I'm like, this is this is they're doing a TV show And then it later came out that they're doing a show for zeus. So do you think his fate his daddy through the first place? It was around him when it happened. Did you see the video? They were like real professional

cameras around him. So it may not have been fake because you know this is reality TV that they're doing, but they did it maybe like that that TV ship put the battery in your back. So even if the dad the dad did rock his ass first. Now he did do that. He did connect because I thought he just swam out. He connected. Yeah, he definitely connect because but he's not the Mario coins and the cigarettes out his daddy ass always. I seen, I literally seen coys

and cigarettes all over the ground. So ghetto man, y'all beating each other family members up. Remember she beat his mom up? Right, y'all just need to letting them people go on with their life because they don't want you all help and they don't want you all to be a part of it, clearly, And I need people to stop comparing them to Bobby and Whitney. Okay, never know how how is that Bobby and Whitney? That is you? That's why stop playing with Whitney. Okay, stop, just stop it.

I don't even like when people talk about Whitney Houston. Yeah, because nobody was beating to Houston ass outside, So you're right, there's anything. She probably was jumping on Bobby Brown ass. Yeah. Why uh? I posted about this a couple of times. Why are white people upset that Coy Bailey is playing

the litteral mermaid, a mythological creature? For one white people are upset because they are feeling their supremacy slip away from them, and it's hard to be the supreme to leave your the supreme being and then the snatch from you.

Do you really think they feel like something's being taken from them because the character Disney characters are being changed to black or you know how they had seventy years of all white characters and now one character is black and they're like, but seems like they're they're less upset when they change the characters to homosexuals. You could be gay, but do not change change these characters. That's because because white people are also gay, but they could never be black.

Do you understand what I'm saying? Okay, so the representation for them you can have, But I wonder if the character was black gay character where they be mad, just mad at the black Partri can eat all the pussy she want, but she cannot be black while she does it. Yo, let me not talk about the content. Character and Gucci stupid,

So I don't see what the problem is. Like, Okay, let's be clear, y'all changed Jesus Christ to a whole white man for our whole lives and like before our lives, Like what the funk a y'all really mad about the Little Mermaid being black when mermaids are black, let's talk about that. Wasn't time Cruise the last Samurai, the last Samurai. I ain't got time yo, if y'all don't get the funk over it. And I saw I saw some really mean posts and how they're making the character look means,

motherfucker's real nasty. They had her out here looking like Cynthia Doll with a mermaid tail with a box of Newports, like they're just so hateful, so nasty. And you know when you think about uh deities like give me y'all, and um, there's a couple of them that were these water beings, black people, the normal tribe. You know what I'm saying, that dog on tribe talk about mermaids and stuff like that. That doesn't come from your culture, even if you know they try to tie um, the Little

Mermaid back to Ireland and stuff like that. Check out the Irish people were because they weren't white. They weren't white people, and we just talked about skin tone. At some point, skin tone didn't even matter because everybody was black at one point, yes, or just different shades of black, you know what I'm saying. So I don't know. I

just care. Well when I come back a couple of times, I feel like, well, the society will be in a place where they'll be looking at their history holograms because it won't be books no more, to be like a hologram or something like that, and they'll be like, oh my gosh, can you believe that humans were? Are you going about their skin color? That is so ghetto? Ghetto. I think it's something that seems primitive to you, you know, something that like what's going on learning how to make fire?

You know, like we made fire? I think I hope, I hope that's how they look at racism. I don't know, it's a sasst fair shot. We just gotta have something to fight about, you know. I feel like people just gotta have something to be mad about. That's the duke all always be like what y'all fake care about the day? That is just the truth. My fucking's don't be really this upset about stuff? How does it affect your life? That's how I start to look at things. This does

this really affect my existence? Because if it doesn't, why am I giving it? So much energy, like even the white people not liking uh them a little mur may being a black woman now, like I don't give a funk like that don't affect my day to day life. Y'all could just be fucking mad. And I hope you know, I hope y'all can't even work today because you're just so upset The Mermaid is black and I can't wait

me too. I'm going I'm gonna go a couple of times the original Little Mermaid tapes just for all the tickets y'all don't buy, I'm gonna buike extra, so don't worry about it. That's what I'm not about to do because regardless of what, even if it's black faces, because there's the other part of that, y'all make Little Mermaid black because y'all know black people will show up, so that's them also getting that black dollar, okay, because this

is not a black production, regardless of what. Though there's black characters, there's not a it's not a black production. So just like with anything else, this is just money making. Yeah, that's all it is. Yep, And we gonna help. We're gonna come out just like we came out for a Conda. We're gonna act stupid. We're gonna pull up in droves. We're probably gonna be dressed like the Little Mermaid cotton up to Yeah, I'm gonna come in the Mermaid costume.

All you're gonna see it's a bunch of uh orange red hair. Because we're gonna come support this movie. That is just it's not a black production. But nevertheless, I support What about this goddamn but this bushop bitch, the same nigger, this bishop, this bishop, white hand out out in Brooklyn. I believe the one who got robbed a couple of months ago. Supply this bullshop, this bushop, excuse this book, this bishop, this bishop? Sorry why he choked that lady like yoked her? Ask because she came up

on stage. He's trying to say that she was actually like a plant there by two YouTubers that he's soing forty million dollars. What is he suing him for slander? Yeah, yep, well you giving him amo right now, choking bitches on TV on live video. Stupid, we see you grab her. Who's still going to his church. His congregation probably grew from those couple of months ago. Do you think so well, yeah, if period of period, stop saying that Jesus Christ, and

I'm sure his congregation group. Girl, I'm sick of these people. Man, I'm sick of these people. I don't know who the hell Bishop Lamar white Head, He's caught on camera giving his sermon on Sunday when a woman in the congregation interrupted him. So, yeah, this person probably was sent there to just just disturb what the funk they had going on, and he yoked her ass up when she came up on stage, rightfully, So I wonder if you got arrested for it, though rightfully he yoked her. Why are why

are you running up on a man? On to she was? She was trying to tack him. That's what it looked like to me. If if I'm up there preaching, the preachers preaching, I didn't invite you to come walk up on me, Why are you coming up here? What if she wanted some prayer? When if she was in there, did you hear her arguing with him from in the congregation like she was, They was going back and forth

and then she walked up there. That's what I missed exactly. No, you don't walk up on nobody, man, sit your way in he went toward her, where he said, all I see it was him going towards her with his hands out. Likely she started it, you can't be putting your hands on people, right, But yeah, girl, the church's gone wild, y'all. Alright, guys, we'll be right back after this commercial break period. Alright. So I saw this video over the weekend and it kind of my spirit and I want to talk to

you about an a j and with you guys listening. Uh, there was a woman and she was sitting in her car, and she seemed her spirit seemed very melancholy, and she was discussing how she was about to have surgery, and she realized that she was forty seven and that she was unmarried and she was alone, and that her mom and her sister had to take care of her, and how she had let so much of her life go by and she had not found someone to love and to love her, and uh, it was kind of sad

listening to it, and it was also very scary for me getting older and knowing that I am still very unmarried without kids. She didn't express that she had children or not, but and it made me think about, like, what what would that look like for me. And I did a little bit of research and I saw that, you know, the number of women that are, you know, growing older and they're not coupled, is the numbers growing. So it's very real that I could possibly be her

age forty seven and by myself. And if that's the case, I wanted to find the positives instead of lamenting over what that would be like. I wanted to find positive ways to be old bitch by yourself. You know, the thing about that is if you talk to older women who have been married before, they are happy now being single. You know what I'm saying. They're not looking for the new relationships. They realize it's less stressful when you only have to worry about yourself, and they're content. So I

can tell you about to have surgery. I think that you know, her having that surgery may here realize like, damn, I don't have anybody to take care of me. But the thing is that may be an assumption that a woman who's never been married before, that's an assumption you're making that your husband would actually even be the type of man that would take care of you, because that

is a woman's characteristic. You know what I'm saying there are men women who are married that if they themselves get sick, they're gonna be I'm ship Creek and so with a husband because he can't take care of himself. So you probably would still have to lean on your mom or your sister. Even if you had a husband at home, They're not gonna be able or equipped to take care of you how a woman would be able to. But some men are Some men are very good at nurturing.

They can get you the things you need, you know, like just go, You still have to give direction. Do you see what I'm saying. You'd have to be in pain somewhere, laying down and still got to give him direction on what you need. That's not a girl. You don't know though, because you ain't been in either situations yet. I'm just telling you I've seen married women. I can I've had all right, so I remember, all right, So you guys, I have multiple sclerosis. And when I first

got diagnosed, I could not walk. I didn't even we didn't even know what was going on with me yet. But I was just in the hospital they admitted me, and I could not walk anymore, and it was just really scary. And my boyfriend at the time. He would literally get off work, go home, change his clothes, and come to that hospital and sleep in my hospital bed next to me every single night for two weeks. And I know he was so tired because he would get up early in the morning so he could go get

ready for work again. And he did that every day for two weeks, and I think that was the most I ever felt loved before. And it was just like that small little bit of just being there. You know, I'm sleeping in this tiny hospital bed, and this is in Europe, so I don't know if you know about the health care system there is free but then also feil free. So it's like six of us in one room. You know, it's not like I had my own bedroom.

It's like six beds in this one room. And it's all kind of people like hell, you know, all kind of ship going on. It's a miserable experience. And he endured that with me, and I feel like he was definitely the type that would be someone that would be very caring in that aspect. Now, the other ship wasn't always the best, but that part he was a good He would have been a good person for that you know. Yeah, so just having somebody there rather rather not they can

take care of you. Yeah, that's a plus. It's definitely a plus. And then you know that intimacy, like even when you being sick, that a man can give your mam a camp, right, it's just you prefer for the man to be there to rub your back up and ship like that, even instead of your mama, even though your mama gonna do it for you. I'm not afraid to be alone. And I think that's one thing that um, women period need alone need to learn is how to

be loan. I know. I looked at some articles and to me, they were more so talking about like younger people, like when you're in your twenties maybe early thirties, and you know, being having time to do things for yourself, having times, having time to think. You know, that's why an older a younger person, when you get older, it's

like you kind of already know what you want. Um, that may be a reason why people end up single because now you've spent so much time you you've actually spent too much time to yourself that now just the thought of somebody else gets stressful for you. Like the thought of having to share space with somebody else that part. So I've been single since two thousand sixteen, and I think if I did, like get in a serious relationship and we had to like cohabitate, that would be a

huge adjustment for me. I need my own my own room and bathroom. I know that about me now, Like I do want to I don't want to live with a man in an apartment and it would have to be a house. And I need my own room and bathroom. If I can't have my own room, I at least need my own bathroom. Now, I do want to sleep with the man every night, right, But I just want us to have our own separate space, you know, because

you just want to then go to your own room. No, I want to sleep like tonight, we sleep in my of course, my room would probably be nicer than his, and my bedding would probably be really plush. So of course he's gonna want to sleep in my room every night, right, But just to have the option to like have your own space like during the day and ship like that. I want to hear you now go to your room to go to his room. I'm like laying back on the bed kicking at him to get out of my room.

Get out of my room, and close my damn door behind you. I don't think I would want I my own room. I think I would obviously want a house with more rooms in it, but I think I would want our room to be our room and this is our space, and then he can get out and go so to the man cave when I'm upset with him, and that's it. So that's your room, and you want him to have his own separate room, his man cave, right. I don't want no bad I don't want no bead in there. I want him to be uncomfortable when he

has to sleep there. Nigga keeping table nigger so he can think about his choices. I don't know. I don't know. I think I need my own I definitely need my own bathroom. So even if it's like I said, if it's not a separate bedroom, I need my own bathroom. Okay, because men can get kind of sketchy. I've actually had some pretty cleaning, but man, some niggas can get kind of sketchy with the bathroom up keep, and I an't got on time to be yelling at no grown ass

man like nigga. If you don't if you don't right, clean up after yourself. Because I'm not your mama. I'm not gonna be your mama. I will be your mom. I don't. I like. I like that. I like baby, and my niggas like, come here, lay on my titty and let me hold you and dirt you you and love you like a like a child. Girl. No, these are grown asth man and that's the problem right there. Baby don't need that and are coddled way more than women. Nobody caddles black women in that way. Black men have

been are always being coddled. You don't need a coddle her, nigga, come in and turn into a whole baby for me. Come and lay your mama lab So what's the most terrifying thing to you about being single? What are you most Because we can go through all the benefits, but let's look what are we afraid of being single? I'm afraid. My biggest fear of being single is I just feel like it would be such a travesty to never have life beyond my own, to never I'm so amazing. I

need to recreate myself. That's how I feel like I need something. I need another me out here living and thriving. That would that's one of my that's my greatest fear. And then also, like I said, I have MS, and I'm gonna need somebody to take care of me when ship gets rough and I ain't got nobody. You know, that should gonna be real, real one day. But if you keep focusing on the money, you can always have a nurse or somebody. You could pay for somebody to

be that. Men think that the things, the things that women do are replaceable. They can I can pay somebody to cook, I could pay somebody to clean up. I could pay somebody to do all these things. I could pay somebody to fuck. But for women is like we don't see things like that. But you can't outsource all those things. And yeah, and and that would probably be the second option. But it's different when you're paying somebody and somebody's doing it out of love. You know that

love can turn into resentment. They gotta take care of you too long. Yeah, that's very true. I want me a note Can I just get Ryan Gosselin to come over here and be like, what do you want? Like the notebook? I want to notebook kind of love? I don't know child. I don't know what is your greatest fear of being uh by yourself? Okay, so I do

want to have a kid, at least one. And maybe this is even selfish when I get old, like I don't want to be an old ass lady seventy with no offspring, nobody to help you out a little bit, you know what I'm saying. But that that's the same thing I said, just a different person. Yeah, exactly. Look, so either man or a kid, I need one of them. But then I don't want the kid without the man,

you know what I'm saying. So I want a family more than I just want a kid, right, So I would like to have a child and the man, and then the child would have to take care of both of us or at least like facilitate the caregiving, like find the people to do it when you get old, like I guess maybe I'm thinking about remember I had the old lady to live with me, and I'm thinking about all the things that I had to do for her that she just can't do because times change, Like

everything is gonna internet. You can't expect this eighty something, you old lady to be able to use the internet in that way, she could barely use your cell phone. So just somebody there to help me with those type of things. Being young and getting sick and needed somebody take care of you, you got access to more people.

But when you get old like that and your your your mom is gone, your daddy gone, your siblings might be gone, friends gone, like, you need a younger person, right because even now, even your doctor appointments, you have to confirm on the APPY. Yeah, so it's trying to check my chart to see what your results are. Like, it's not set up for old people to be able to do by them exactly. So it's really real that you are a baby twice so I feel like, um,

that's when I would be more concerned about it. And that's why the relationship I would need would need to be facilitated now. So it's either the relationship but a husband or your child for when you get seventy eighty, I'm gonna be around time like nine, so I'm gonna need somebody. You're gonna need somebody around. So that's Micaelthern. I don't know. I don't know, man, I don't want um. I just hate when people would be like, oh, y'all y'all been just gonna die with your dogs. You're gonna

die with your cats, You're gonna die alone. No woman has to die alone because there is somebody out here, somebody. You could pick somebody and have a baby with him. You could pick somebody and get married. Like I'm pretty sure every woman has at least one nigga that's willing to married him right now. You know, he may not look the best, he may not smell the best, But there's somebody, you know what I'm saying. There is somebody for everybody. But I don't nobody want to fund with

stinky Joey. But she she might be a stinky Jane and they go together. Why are you stinky trying to be with somebody who's not first get you a stinky nigga. But even you think it's all about balance. You make me smell better. Yeah, So it's somebody for everybody. You just gotta find that person. I could be married right now if I wanted to be, I couldn't. But I think a lot of more, a lot more people, especially

our generation, we're putting like happiness over everything. We say that it's not the other person responsibility to make you happy. But if somebody can make you sad, they can definitely make you happy. So no, yes, it is my job to to to make myself happy. But yeah, I feel like you can contribute to other people's happiness. I would not want to be in a relationship. It's more terrifying to me to be in the wrong relationship than to be by myself. The piece you get from being the

step number. But see that's w Yeah, take care of yourself. You know what I'm saying. What I find in relationships is that even if you could be somebody who goes to the gym all the time, it's like all that should go out the window when you get into relationship. You're no longer focusing on your personal goals. You're not focusing on your personal health. It's like you always having to take somebody else ship into consideration every day your life.

Like if I want to go on like a fucking vegan diet for the rest of this year, if I got a whole family I'm responsible for, I can't because it's gonna be even hard. Like I'm preparing food for them to eat that I'm not and I can't eat. They could just be vegans too, in a perfect world, that's what you know, because the mama is responsible for the nutrition of the family. So in a perfect world, that's how it would be. But it don't always be like that. So now it's just hard to focus on

your personal goals when you're in a relationship. It just is because this other person needs some of your time. The relationship requires time, requires all of these things outside of you. I found a list of ten reasons why it's great living alone in your forties and fifties, just for anybody who's feeling sad about getting older. I e me all right here, here's here's the list. One You'll gain an independent routine, which is great for your health.

So basically you ain't got nobody else to worry about, so you can do exactly what you want, when you want to, and how you want to do it. I mean, I think that applies right now. We don't have to wait till we're in our forties and fifties for that, right. Yeah. Single people are healthier than they're married counterparts, That's what

I was just saying. Yeah, So, like even if you have like a certain gym routine, like you having to work in all of these people because I think that people who have children and families younger in life, they're just now getting to do those things because now the kids are finally older, so they kind of sacrificed earlier in life, so now they can chill see us having

kids and families later on. I don't know if it's gonna be like what would you rather do you rather had just funny and twenties and they're worry about the ship with you in the thirties, or do all this ship now and now I'm now I get to live the rest of my life. Um, well, I guess it

ain't an option no more for me. But with me, like the ship that my friends who had kids young had to endure, I don't think it will have to endure the same because we got more money now, you know, like like I could have a nanny in this bit changing diapers, right, And it's just like I think you you do, and that with more options the older you get, Um, you might enjoy your relationship better and at an older age because you, like I said, like both parties trying

to know what they want and know what they don't. So you find somebody that matched that fly right, and then you have understanding of your emotional intelligence when you're old to even raise the kids properly. Right, So I think that more healthy relationship. To people who have kids younger, it's like a struggle the majority of the time. Yeah, because they're growing up with their kids, you know. Um

number three, you can develop your own hobbies and interests. Yeah, but you want to do those things with somebody else, right, I like to be alone, but I like to be alone with somebody else, Like I like to do all this that I like to do, but with one other person at least. Well, you can't be alone with somebody else because then you're no longer at all. Exactly. Single people often enjoy better friendships. Mm hmm. I mean, do you have a choice? You know? Is like exactly. Let's see,

what does it say? Living alone, by no means has to mean you're lonely. In fact, often exiting a relationship enables friendships to really blossom. All right, so it says not now is the time to re establish links with old friends and reach out to new ones. Living alone means you can invite people for the weekend to visit, stay out late. So it's just all selfish stuff, Okay, got it. Yeah, like y'all reach it with this one. Who else you gonna hang out exactly? Mask bitches. I

don't want that either. But I also don't want to be in a relationship where my partner got a problem with all my friends. So I went and pick somebody like that either, who doesn't want you to have friends? Yeah, no, that's not healthy. You'll have a greater sense of freedom. I mean, I feel that I like to feel not single in it. Maybe I like to be single in the relationship. Maybe you can't. I ain't gonna be single

in a relationship. It's like I don't like to feel smothered or I don't like to feel like I got just the same way Manfield. They don't want to have to always answer a bunch of questions and stuff like that, Like, just trust that I'm doing the right thing and lead me to hell alone because I ain't stalking and stressing you. So I do like to feel free in a relationship. I am a commitment type person. I do want to be in a committed relationship, but I also don't want

to feel like I'm in prison in the relationship. Mm hmm, I get that. So I would like to maintain a certain level of freedom while in a union. Yeah, because the same guy that I told you all about that was like laying in my hospital bed next to me for two weeks straight and You're like, oh, he was so sweet. What happened to him? He also was the same type that would get mad if I said anything nice about a man, not my man, just any man I was. I could be like, oh, that's he's a

nice guy. That's a good person for your boyfriend to be hanging out with. I had a conversation with my friend like that, and this nigga totally blew up. Why are you saying other nas nice? That's what I'm saying. See and look, I uh. I was in the story yesterday and I was on the phone my friend and as I'm checking out, I was like, okay, thanks babe, I said babe to the cashier, right, Like I just I always call people baby, babe, man or women. That's

just how it just comes out. It's not like I'm just really calling this man a baby, right, And I said, I said, oh, let me not do that, because you might not you might have a problem with that. He was like, I don't care nothing about that, said Okay, that's my my previous trauma. Then could be because in my last relationship, I had gotten in multiple arguments because I said baby to somebody like not like. I don't like that either though. Yeah, but see I think I

get that from my mom. She called everybody baby babe. That's just it's just in my vocabulary. I don't mean this person as my baby, like I would say to my significant other. So for mane, but those are things that you have baby. I don't like when we like a server, I don't want you calling her baby. See that's the thing that a man can't do that. It's just a double standard thing. It's like a older person talking to a younger person type thing, because that's usually

when I would saying that. If it's like a younger person, they just this, it's a kid, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, But you know, in relationships, you don't know something's a problem until it's a problem. That's just it. So I didn't know it was a problem, and so it was a problem. I don't like. I don't I don't want you giving other women pet names. But you can say somebody's a nice person and that not be a problem. I won't be like, why you called that a bitch? Nice?

You know that is crazy? That's crazy, right, Like you want to suck his dick, don't you? Right? What men, that's why mind go directly to you sucking somebody dick. They just obsessed with that because I said somebody was nice. Alright. Number seven, It will help you be more creative. I guess solitude, Yeah, go ahead, I guess you got time to sit down and do things that you want to do. Um. Yeah,

I can see that. Mm hmmm. Says solitude enables you to think deeply, and it's crucial for introspective, creative thoughts to come into fruition. Being alone is often a prequisite for those sparky ideas you might otherwise never have had. Yeah. I was talking to a friend this weekend and he and I, uh, he went to a wedding in Baltimore and his friend, the girl that he's dating. Basically she went like on a little trip by herself, and I was like, she ain't by herself. She got some nigger

with her, like sucking with him. But he was like, yeah, she you know. He basically was trying to say, you know, it's the ship that you would do, like go out be by yourself to talk to the trees and ship like that. She was like, that's what she's doing. So he's okay with her, like traveling, going on a low trip alone to get her mind right. M hm. Most men won't won't be okay with that, not in a real relationship, Like where are you going? Right? I don't

even sound right in the room in the room. They don't live together, nothing like that, they're just you know, yeah, So I don't know. That might not be something you could do while you in a relationship with a man, go on vacation by yourself, going a long weekend get away by yourself. Now you I've seen uh men and like married couples with children and they all live in

the house. Let their wife go on a staycation to a hotel down the street, you know, like you go there and relax, drink some champagne, just enjoy your solitude away from us. I've seen that. But you're getting on a plane to go somewhere and sit by yourself. Sit your ass down, all right. The next one says, you actually might be less lonely. It might sound odd, but single people could actually turn out to be far less

lonely than those in relationships. This is because, as a general rule, singles tend to have a wider social have wider social circles in support systems, as opposed to those in relationships, who often only have one person they feel they can confide and rely on. Wow, that's true. And look, that's something I think about, like imagine, and I think a lot of relationships fail because it is you can't expect your significant other to be your all. You know

what I'm saying. They can't be your best friend for real, like how you're real bed like as a woman, right, your man can't be your best friend. How your actual female friend is your best friend? He can't be that for you. So I believe that even in relationships, you gotta have that that that thing outside of your relationship. You have to think it's important to him at least one person that is not in your relationship that you

can confide in. Yes, and that's for a man I want. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's what I'm saying, because I mean, sometimes when you're having a problem, how do I talk to the problem about the problem. Well, you can't, you can't. Look, I don't it's important not to look at your person as the problem. There's an issue within the relationship, and y'all need to detect that a problem together. What if he keeps shipping on the toilet, that is his problem, That

is a problem he's creating. Why the problem is the ship and the ship came out of him. That's his ship. That's y'all ship. No nigger is no what he ain't did not make me ship? Okay, so that my ship. But if you sat down on that toilet, oh my god, girl, that's the problem. The problem is not the man. But first of all, while some new people coming up with we're going to attack the problem, not each other. Motherfucker's be the people making the problem. What are we talking about,

y'all delusion? It sounds good, It sounds good. Okay, we two We got here is the problems. Attack the problem and not each other. But how does that even work when it's somebody causing the problem. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, but he's causing the problem. Let's work on this problem together. But what if the problem is

him cheating? When he's making that conscious decision to cheat, So we have to realize, find out if we are in it together and you want to stay with this nigga knowing that he cheats, then you're gonna have to find a way to find out why he's cheating and does he want to be in and then he wants to be in this relationship knowing that something that you don't want. That's the problem. This is a Western civilization, that problem whatever. And number ten the last one. You'll

sleep more soundly now, I agree with that one. Just get a king's eyes bad. I don't see how people are married and they have a queen's size bad in their house. How that's too close because I like to cuddle and ship like that. But we already know when you get kind of hot in the middle of night, get the funk off me. I don't like falling to sleep on nobody, like my last nick of the same one I was talking about the whole episode. He um,

that's my only point of reference, right. Um. He would like me to sleep on him, and like he would fall asleep, and when I would move, even though he would sleep, his arm would get tight when I try to move. Hell, that nigga was fucking demon. He didn't want you. I could not move if you awake. He couldn't be awake. I could not move. What the hell? In his sleep he would snatch his arm would go tight like a fist, would go tight around me. Like

how then m hmm. He was like subconsciously and consciously insecure. But I snore, so I don't know even know if you want me up under you like that when I sleep, you ain't gonna get no rest. That he's freight train next to you. See now, I wouldn't sleep with you. I don't want to be with a man who's snore too loud because every night I'm gonna be rushing trying to go to sleep. For you, I go to your own room. Since you got one, I had one, Nigga. He was like, before we were to lay down, he's like,

you like astronauts. I was like what, He's like, I'm about to show you. And he put that motherfucking space helmet on so he could breathe that night looking like a motherfucking astronaut. Bit that's so stupid. Do something. Don't get up in here. It sounding like dark Vader because I'm going to home. If I have that option, I'm not gonna get into a long term relationship with somebody who snore is crazy. One thing about me is I'm asleep and you're not about. Yes, I have to sleep well, man,

if I don't my days to be fucked up. Ship. That's why I'm dragging right now today. Shoot, I got dunk because of my story. And really it wasn't like that yet. We were just starting to finally like spending night with each other. And I just remember waking myself up with the sound of my story and I woke up and I looked at him and he was just staring at me, like I really want you to go the funk home. That's how he looked at he was looking.

I was like, I'm so sorry, but I was only snoring because his pillows was the size of a thing as a piece of paper. Like where you get these thin ass, fucking raggedy ass pillows. Man, You don't have no like y'all asleep on a goddamn piece of ply board cardboard box? Yes, what is that with? You're betting

I had. I had to fold that pillow four times to just have a little piece of height on it, girl, Like, and I literally buy your ship for your house so I can be comfortable when I get there, like, why you got these old ass pillows, nigger, get you some new pillows, please, sir. Well. In conclusion, look y'all, it's okay. If you do find yourself by yourself in your forties and fifties, there are ways to be fulfilled and not be sad about it. And I hope this list helps

any of our listeners who feel lonely or feel alone. Like, girl, it's okay, you got friends, and if you don't have friends out there, you have friends that we talked back. Oh girl, ain't nothing like that dead girl. Period up, period up. Don't be doing that ship and not recording. We ain't giving that bitch no motherfucking notoriety over here. As we talk back, I was just agreeing with your dick comments that don't say just say I agree, just say I agree, girl. But again, I'm not afraid to

be alone and ship. If this is if this is how my life's supposed to be there, so fucking being okay. I have I enjoy the company of men for sure. If I get married today and tomorrow, that would be great. If I don't, I'm not gonna die because of it. Obviously, I'm gonna live longer. So hey, we'll see I'm gonna be one of them fine as because listen, honey, the sixty year olds that's on Instagram, dumb bitch is fine. The fifty and sixty year olds, like they've been spending

the last decade building a six pack. They could have any one of these young niggas if they wanted them. They can definitely, like they got options. You always have options, Let's be clear. But I don't know. I ain't gonna be alone, all right, y'all. Hit him with that hit him with that thing. You hit them with that thing. Listen.

If you guys enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on an I Heart radio app or wherever the fun you get your podcasts at dis your co host aj Holiday two point oh look to you to stop me from saying, girl, fuck you. Follow me. I don't care what you like no more. Follow me. Follow me on Instagram, y'all. Also follow me talk Back podcast on Instagram and Twitter. All that good ship. Um alright, y'all, it's official Team BAM. I love y'all. Thanks for tuning in, y'all.

Remember to speak now and never hold your peace. Peace. Bye