Ep 84 "STFU"

on niggas. Pardon me. Everybody don't like the term niggas, but we do. You know, I do be trying not to use the term, but you know it's a slip. It's not a slip for me. I love my niggas, y'all all, My niggas, okay, right, I don't just I don't put the hard R on the end. It's a difference to me. Sometimes I put the hardy ard. I hate that. Don't do that. Sometimes I do. Don't do that. How was your weekend? Your? My weekend was good. I went to um my friend's dad's fifty six birthday party,

and the ship was lit. It was it wasn't none of his friends that it was just all her friends and then him. Uh that's how he wanted it too. Yeah, he was on my head too. I was like, go on head, Mr Edward, he trying to see what that thing do for his first birthday. He was gonna bless him right quick. But we had a good time. Love her, love her family. It's a good it was lit. That's all I really did right much this weekend. Either I was supposed to go to Atlanta, but I just chilled out.

I'm not in a traveling mood. It's like I don't know. I don't know if it's just me or do other women feel this way? But mice I goes on. I don't want to do ship, don't talk, don't lead the house. The only thing I did go out to eat. That's about it. Saturday, that's it. If it's day after day two, I can come outside. But they wanted to please don't bother me. She fly, don't bother me. So I was liking a little. I don't want to call it a funk.

My friend says I shouldn't call it a funk, So I was in a mood basically your pussy with think it was a funk bitch by Okay, one thing you don't have to never have to worry about, jerk. Why are you stink coochie shaming on the on the Damn Podcast. I don't know. There's a lot of women that are looking really pretty today. They have a nice dress on there at work and there, yes, and they may be having a bad day and here you are shaming them

pussy staying today. That's terrible. Let's move on from now. I'm just I'm just joking y'all, all my niggas, whether your pussy stay or not? Girl, all right, yeah, you're right. When we got going on a stupid internet, dudes shot say mar Is engaged two Yeah, Sonny, she got her u uh a white zaddie Okay. His name is Jeremy Robinson and he's a lawyer from Atlanta. And I saw it on Gossip in the City, Gossip of the City blog initially writing and all the other blogs got to

help hold of it. But now all these different women are coming out the world works on his ass, all these different black women, including uh, the mother of one of his kids. Did you see that headline. I missed that. Yeah, Sonny, so the baby mama. The baby mama is like he only he don't pay this much in child support. This in the third he's just infatuated with black women. So basically she's trying to say it's like a like a fetish thing for him. Yeah, and he oftentimes um says

disparaging things about black women. I don't know how true this stuff is, Um, You know, if he's so so bad for the community, while it hadn't we heard about him sooner, right, because he looks like he has some ship going on in Atlanta, so he was really out here dog and black women out I feel like I hope he would have already been on the radar prior to say margetting with him. But I don't know. And

I guess he was recently engaged to another woman. She didn't look black, though she looked like she may have been like Hispanic or maybe even Asian. I don't know, but he's an habitual proposer for what I can see, and uh, yeah, I don't know. I'm happy for her if it's real. He's fine, nice looking older white gentlemen. Um Low Duval waiting on it too. Lot Duval said, but let us get a white woman, y'all gonna snap. And my old lady ain't white. He put that in

like and uh parenthes his own. His old lady ain't white. It's not that we'd be snapping. The thing is is that do you boom what what black women don't like when black men, you know, or get others. And it's not always a white woman. We just don't like the ship y'all talk about us to justify that relationship. If you like white women, you like his fans, like others, just like them. You don't have to say, well I like them because black women such as such as such,

and that's oftentimes you know what happens. So yeah, well, I just hope it worked out for her because I want her to be happy me too, like m hmm yeah. Notorious Big daughter Tianna Wallace posted her boyfriend's one million dollar ball and after he was arrested in a hit and run. Uh Tayshawn Baldwin was stopped by police after parking his twye d Raino SRT hell Cat It's s RT in a busy intersection. Cops also cite his loud exhaust and dark tenant windows as a reason for the stop.

Mm hmm, sound like profiling to me. After cops ring his information, they found out his license was suspended. They then ordered to him to stop out of the step out of the vehicle. That is when he allegedly sped off and slammed into a group of pedestrians. Three people sustained serious injuries as a result of the hit and run. Among the amongst the injured is a mom who was pushing her two year old daughter in a stroller, and a food delivery man. Baldwin was arrested six days after

the incident when he surrendered to cops. Court documents shows that Wallace Notorious Biggs daughter put up her one point five million dollar home in Brooklyn to secure her boyfriend's bond. No thank you, well okay, not a boyfriend. Not for a boyfriend. Husband, Yes, a boyfriend, not so much. That's

just thing. My husband would want me to put up our one point million, one point five million dollar house to give him out for a hitting, Yes he would, And hopefully you'd be married to a man that you know would be able to um pay it. I don't know, Mary, he's gonna be able to pay it. That's what I'm saying. Like, Okay, you remember that girl in Charlotte, she had one like all his money and um, she won a lottery, like millions and millions of dollars in a lottery. Her boyfriend,

her boyfriend, her baby daddy kept going to prison. She kept bonding him out on these million dollar bonds. They only give people those type of bonds who didn't know got the mean, got do it, you know what I'm saying. So his bond it could be excessive. It could very well be excessive. They could like that cash bond system is fucked up. Well, he didn't hit six people, and I saw the video of him, like looks like he was about to hit a mom with stroller. Yeah yeah, yeah,

I don't know. That sounds like some stupid ship like that. You might need to sit down, sir. You might need to sit down. So you go back to bondcourt and maybe the lorred because she's gonna lose her house playing with him, right, because he sounds pretty dumb. So I would not have right because if you make me lose my house, I'm gonna come in the door waving the

full four tammy. Don't hit me no mode, right, shame ship. Look, so we need y'all to stop talking to you about b b ls because apparently y'all going to the doctor to get more dick. Okay um. The headline reads that, uh, male genitalia enhancements are more popular than ever and b b l s are dying out, says a cosmetic surgery Um, excuse me, Cosmetic surgery CEO Angela Cogan speaks on the latest trends. So get your dick, do your dick, house baby,

I'm here for now. I do have a homeboy who just recently, well last year he had got the abs and like some cuts in his arms, and just recently he went and got like some I think this nd a lap band surgery or something like that. Like men are out here doing this stuff, and I feel like y'all been doing it. Okay here for if they got something to make your bigger and this little do get your dick bigger, right, why not stop talking to you about them b b I am sick of to bbls

to now. I ain't gonna lie now like women were real ass, like, come on, you gotta compete with this ship. Now. Everybody just walking people are assuming that everybody's just walking around with a fake ass, and everybody isn't there's something body shaped like that. Yeah, I know, people be like, what doctor did your ass? Doctor Jesus. That's so you don't even ask somebody that is so ignorant R. Jesus, Dr Grisome cornbread, because you can tell who got the

fake asses? Okay, I'm just yes, y'all look like a Hennessy bottle. A lot of them. Now, some people have some really nice ones, and favorite go too for really nice bbls. Eggy Azelia, her body is nice, okay, um burne even when but even when she shakes it, you can see that little flap on the bottom. Yeah, it would be like a little bridge down there. Yeah, it's like a little bridge on the bottom where the meat don't connect where you're supposed to in real life. It

looks good. Don't move though, don't But Bernie, Bernie's got that ball mass body too. It's yeah, she has a nice body. Um, who else got a nice PPL that I can like? Yeah? I would go to whoever doctor did that ship that's about it. Mm hmmm mmmm. See what they didn't do is they didn't figure out how to give you, uh, like some people need some people need hips and thighs, so you just add in the butt, but you know what about everything else and it's something yeah,

exactly exactly. Um. So yeah, guys, get your dicks. They're going they're going for a good right these days out here. Get your man a dick for Christmas and then getting one of those little gal cock three thousands. It looked like a dick washed to me. It don't even look like no, it's like giving head, like with all that solution in there. I saw it on Amber Roses Instagram page.

Oh it's a machine. It's like a yeah, and it's like it looked like a dick washed to me because it's all suggy and like, I guess that was supposed to sit but it looks like soap. Okay, so it's a dick wash. You just took your dick in there and and it washes it for you. Get one of those for the new dick, all right. So I saw this on the internet. Husband paid for him and his friend to sit in first class, but pay for his

wife to sit in economy. So apparently this man goes on vacations every year out of the country with his bestie, and his wife is never allowed to go. And this particularly year, he invites his wife to join him and his bestie on the trip, and she realizes that he has booked two first class tickets for him and his best friend and her seat is for economy and when she uh confronts him about it, he says, uh, that

he paid for your ticket. Isn't that enough? Like, and he feels like, Oh, you're ungrateful because I finally invite you and this is the things I get. And then the best friend goes on to confront her about it and says that she acts so entitled and that's why he never wanted her to come along. Imagine me being entitled to my husband, right, Why are you so entitled to my husband? That part they're clearly your wife is your savage, and that's that's his man exactly. The wife

is the beard. So I saw that article, I saw that headline, and I wish they would have used like two white dudes for the illustration. But anyway, because mama, they said, she said she dropped her kids off to her mama. We know they're in Europe somewhere, Okay, it ain't no fucking way you. That's stupid. That is the

ultra dumb bit story. First of all, why is your man going on You ain't going on on vacation, but he's going on vacation with his friend every year, right that you're not allowed so that people do take boys strips, okay, but not just you and one man and then y'all go every year and I don't go nowhere. No. Yeah, she said she never goes on vacation. This is the first vacation she's been invited on. I thought she was saying that's the first vacation she's been invited on, like

their little vacation that they go on. So she hasn't been on vacation at all in the marriage. That's not how I read that. It says my husband and I haven't been on a trip out of the country for years, while he goes every year with his best friend. That's a that's the divorce. I really would like to know where they're located, because I know it's not the United States. I want to know where they at, what's the culture and how the hell is that? Okay, Like, could you

imagine that plane isn't the plane ain't taken off. It ain't never taken off for years. That plane ain't never plane. That plane is grounded to destroy the whole plane. They man, I had them beds and shop in first class. I'm sucking all of that up, like, are y'all crazy? Are you crazy? Clean up plane with him at his nigger stupid internet news. Black woman is on the runway destroying a United Airways plane. Facts, y'all. Ain't none of y'all going.

Nobody going if I can't go? Yes, Because so she ends up saying she doesn't want to go, and now this guy is telling her how selfish she is. Like, imagine your home boy hitting the wife up. I wish I was married to a man and his homeboy hit me up, trying to check me on some ship in my marriage? Are you dumb? Especially something like that, like is this your man? That's his man? Yeah, that's his man all day long. It's given my man and my man, my man. She just needs to make a decision at

this point, because yeah, that is dad, honey bun. Anyway, y'all listen, We're gonna go to commercial right quick, and when we come back, we want to get into our main topic, y'all. We talk about you know, talking back all the time. You know, the show is we talked back, But when should you shut the funk up? We'll be back, okay, So listen, Like I said, the show is, we talked back.

We have an opinion we have to say. But we are grown adult women, right, so we we we know that you have to use discernment sometimes and and judgment. You know, it's not always a pro for it to say to have an opinion or some ship. And it's okay not to have an opinion. It's okay to not say anything sometimes. Yeah, especially in relationships with your friends, family, co workers, all that good ship. So we want to get into it, y'all, when should you shut the funk up? Now?

You know? But you're always gonna have an opinion, but she don't have to speak it out loud. That's what I'm saying, right, You're always going to have an opinion. Now, now I can't have my eyes can't have an opinion either, No, keep your keep your eyes straight, because usually the damn eyes gonna tell the whole ship. I don't even gotta say nothing like right, so listen, so we uh, we actually find an article on this because I'm like, okay,

so we know in situations when you should not. I guess it's kind of like you gotta be in the moment, right, But we found an article that kind of gives, uh, some examples of when you should shut the funk up, all right, So we just want to go through them with you, guys. So the first one is when you want to correct someone, particularly when that's someone is a

new acquaintance or superior. There are times when you need to correct people, like if someone says, Bob costs the company a million dollars and you're Bob and that's not true. So that's true, right. But say someone says, as everyone knows, we only use ten percent of our brains, which is one of the those non factual facts that people spew all the time, we actually use our entire brain. If you correct them, you might embarrass them and you're not

actually going to gain anything. They might not believe you, and you can wind up in a dumb argument about it, taking out your phone and finding sources to prove your writing until you shut them down. Sure, you have demonstrated your superior knowledge, but a lot of people will actually hate that. Okay, let's talk about it, because I feel like I've gotten in to so many debates with people and people will say things like it's absolute, and this could be a time I could just shut the funk

but just not have the discussion. But I wouldn't say that. This would be in a like in a corporate setting, because when I worked, I mean, you know how to I know how and when half the time I'm not gonna say anything, you know, because I have had a boss tell me I know you think uh, I know you think I'm stupid Ashley. She said that to me, and I had minimal exchanges with her, and most of them work like via email, and she was a new

a new manager, something like damn is this bit? And she watching my Instagram messages not Instagram but my UM like the internal messaging system, like because I did call her a stupid at some point, but not like I never act acted that way towards her right, So whatever she could have been projected, I don't give a fun anyway.

But I feel like when you're in debates with people about information and stuff like that, I feel like I'm always the one to have to prove it to them because people will say things like absolute and be period like that's what it is, but they are not gonna come with any real facts about it. It's just like better believe me because I said it, but I can give you proof. We see. That's the thing. That's what we're talking out Like, just don't do that. It's pointless.

It's a pointless waste of time, and it just makes you look bad when you go when you do all of that. How though, like, how so people just want to just go out here aimlessly. Some people do, and sometimes you just let me tell you. I'll let you have it, and I'll let you just run your mouth and just talk talk talk, and then I'd be like okay, smiling,

nod and then going about my day. It's just a waste of time to correct people I hate, like I hate a well actually motherfucker, like well actually I know somebody like that. Well actually everything and and bitch don't even know what she's talking about. I was like, oh, look that's a daddy lawng like, well, actually that is a recluse spighter and this indigenoss stuff. You're a shut up up. You don't even know if you're right right, You're just saying something just to say it. I don't

do that to people. I don't just be saying to say it. And I'm also not about to engage in just with anybody and trying to correct them. I'm not I'm not going to do that to like, you know, in a business setting or something like that, I wouldn't do it. But like somebody that I'm normally like going back and forth with about some ship, maybe maybe not if I feel like it the next one. When you have set a big goal, this is a good one, might right. You might think that announcing your attentions to

others will increase your chances of achieving your goals. The research suggests the opposite is true. N y U psychology professor Peter gold With surfound in four different studies that people who kept their attentions to themselves were more likely to achieve them than those who made them public. Another reason for not trumpeting your big plans is that if you don't follow through, you'll be seeing as flaky. Yes, I think, um, when I've kept certain things in myself,

they manifest it quicker. When you start telling people about ship. It's like you you don't know who's really for you. Yeah, you don't really know who's for you so and they may not like intentionally do it, but I feel like people can definitely stop some ship for you, maybe manifested, subconsciously manifested not to happen because they're jealous. I feel like that in a certain situation right now, even if you accidentally tell the wrong motherfucker ship left. Yeah, So

keep keep your goal. Sometimes, you know, telling people that I really need to know. Tell the people that, um, you know are for you, those people you tell everybody else don't matter, Like, don't put social media or to tell the people that can make the goal happen. Exactly. M there's that part, Okay, Yeah, I wouldn't put everything that you're planning are doing online because now you actually summon in the fucking energy of all these different people,

some people that with you, some people that don't. Sorry, need to be a bit that don't like you. Screenshot and put in her group chat. Now she got a whole slew a bitches manifested some bad ship for your goal. Exactly. Look. The next one is when you want to gossip. I like it. I'd be liking to gossip me too. I enjoyed this this list, So shut the funk up when you want to gossip. But god, come on, who doesn't gossip? And I'm I'm not one of those keep my name

out your mouth type bitches. Okay, I talked about you, you talk about me, We talk about we like it's fine. It's true. I mean, that's the terrible waste of good energy, right to be slandering people and gossiping, but it is so much fun. Like I love the screenshot a bit and put it in my great chair, I really do. I look, I'm the bitch from the last post. I'm like, don't don't post your ship to me. I'm my manifest

bad energy toward it with my friends. If I don't, I'm not ain't gonna manifest bad energy to somebody ship by accident because I'm a screenshot and put it in my group chair, like, girl, look at this the bitch tell me how she's stealing clothes. Look at these outfits. I'm saying, like, I'd be like, that's fun though, telling me all right, so I'm gonna work on that, y'all. I'm just being honest. That's something I would do, right. So it says when you want to say something negative

about someone behind their back. Don't just don't. There's almost never a good reason to do this. It makes you look petty, childish and mean spirited, and it might get back to the person you're slandering. I say almost never, because sometimes someone might be might do something truly terrible, and you might need to discuss it to decide what

course of action to take. But this is rare, so now I understand that too, Like, sometimes you gotta talk it out, so it's really not gossiping about somebody, especially if you're in the gossip. If I'm in the gossip and I'm asking somebody about something to get their opinion on a situation, that's really not gossip. And like I can't help but gossip about you at this point. Sorry, Yeah, I don't like that one. I'm gonna work on it though, because I know I'm you gossip. Yeah, gossip and is fun.

I mean, you obviously don't have any friends. If you don't gossip, you don't have any friends. You ain't got nobody talked to big, But you know what I have, Like I have had people come to talk to me, like coming to me to like talk about somebody that I actually like, and I will shut it down. Yeah, me too. Don't don't ever come to me to talk to it about even talk to it about my friend or something like that real quick. Yeah, I've you know who,

I've had to cuss a few people out over. Charlomagne asked, like, imagine you calling me thinking I'm gonna talk to you about my friend, Like this is my friend in real life for a long time, and I wouldn't do it to you. But how do you feel that comfortable to come to me? I know I've never talked to you about this person, So why do you feel like you could? Because because he I think it's because he's such a public figure. People feel like they can just say what

they want. She is crazy, No that I would shut that down quick to Yeah, so like you you coming to me because now you're want to go to the next person is acting like you got like some inside yeah person, You don't have an inside person over here. And when it comes to people, I love fuck you and I'll fight you. How about that? Like, look, you thought we was freezed, now about to come beat your and now we're friends some more, al right, next one, when the deal isn't quite done, look to that old

adage about counting your chickens before they hatch. If you're making a deal of some kind never announced until everyone has signed on every dotted line and everything is airtight, you feel stupid if things fall apart. That's kind of similar to the last one. It's kind of similar to the one with big goals. So all of that goes together. Just keep anything you actually working on trying to do it. If if, if it doesn't involve the people you're telling,

like why why do they need to know? Right? And that that reminds me of me making plans to go to Europe next month because I thought I was about to get me a festival check. Stupid, you make me sick. It made me so sick. Good eyes, speaking our outfits places, I was gonna take pictures in my outfits. I ain't going nowhere. It's so stupid. I'll be right home. Yeah. But even when the deal is done, it might not

be done until it actually happens. So yeah. Um. The only thing about that, I mean you you have to, um, you have to like prep for those things. So we're planning and prep and planning, advertising, all that good stuff. Sometimes stuff all through. Um, when you're mad, you should shut the funk up. That's the hardest one for me. Little work on me, Jesus, you ain't through with me yet.

So it says when someone when it says when someone annoys you, don't respond right away as you like, excuse me, as you are likely to blow up and or say something you will regret and you can't take it back. Even if you apologize, people will not forget. Hey, So best better is don't talk to me if I'm mad, then don't talk to me if you're mad. That's only that's only that, that's not I see it. You're supposed to make this about you, not like, don't talk to me if you man. Don't talk to me if I'm mad?

How about you don't say nothing when you're mad? That's what they're saying. Okay, so how did how does that one work? Okay? Because right now I'm mad? Right Like, say, for instance, I'm mad, I'm in a relationship with a guy. I'm mad at him. Right now, I don't say nothing? Right? Are we saying that when I finally get to a place where I'm not mad and I want to have a conversation with him about it? You don't think the conversation gonna cause me to get fucking mad again? Like

it is, Well, it depends. It depends on what your goal in the conversation are you are you so what I saw? Like instead of trying to attack each other to win, you decide that the issue is not each other, it's the problem. Y'all are attacking that together to resolve it. So if you look at it that way when you're mad, you won't be You'll try to take the anger out and take that put your anger at the problem and not the person. I guess did you learn that in therapy?

Job therapist still taught you that. That's a hard one, though, man, because when you're mad, like one thing I don't do when I'm mad, I don't say the worst ship to win the argument. So I'm I'm gonna be talking ship, but I ain't gonna say like the worst ship. I used to do that, I haven't. I haven't been with nobody in a long time to ever like have that type of time going on, Like I haven't been that close with anybody where I could just go for the guzzler like that, but I used to I have. Because

I'm your anger. I still want you to love and like me later, like it's certain ships. Somebody can say to me and I'm not working with you no more period. Yeah, but I used to not care at that point, Like it was like you said something to hurt me, now here's something to hurt you. How you like the mapples? That's how I used to feel. That's what I'm saying, Like like the mean things, that's just a mean person thing to say. Crazy ship to each other when you

fucking mad, it's just a mean person thing. It's not a man or a woman thing. It's just a mean person thing. In that moment, we can really mean to each other. But my last boyfriend used to bring that out of me. He used to tell me, like, shut your dick sucking lips. That's what he used to tell me. I would have been like, thanks for the compliment. Look. The next one is when you're drunk on That's a

good one. Now, I'm usually pretty like crunk when I'm drunk, but I'm not a mean drunk though, So I'm always having like fun. I got my microphone, I travel with a mike, Like i'd be fun when I'm drunk. You might be annoying too. No, I've never to tell me I'm annoying when I'm drunk. It doesn't have to be like you say meanship when you're drunk. It also could be like you just worried about me just telling ship, and did I tell you that? Did I say that?

Or calling the nigga that you used to like that you don't even really like nowhere, like what you're doing right now, John, you home, I don't put up like shut up, don't call it nigga. You don't even like him. All right, So it says it's really hard to keep your mouth shut when you're drunk, but alcohol u Lord's inhibitions, and you're far more likely to say something inappropriate when inebriated. It's true. Yeah, yeah, because let me tell you. The

elevators went out in my building. It was all kind of fired me downstairs. And it was Saturday, late Saturday, and I walked into the lobby and I just was so inappropriate with the firement. I was like, I love a man in uniform. You're gonna save my day. I'm gonna say my day like this. And they was looking like bitch is late, like bitch, you know, they probably was like a bit shut the funk up. Yeah there was,

and everybody the lobby was laughing. I was just inappropriate, and then I was I was embarrassed the next day, like, damn, concierge saw that they got you on camera downstairs, and I got like a little slut, acting like a drunk slut. I was about to do nothing with him. Man, I just was drunk, trying to be funny. Yeah, I'm not a crazy drunk though. I know. I have some friends that are crazy drunks, and if you're not drunk while

they drunk, it's just not fun. Like bitch, you just be disgusted with them, like I gotta be drunk to deal with you while you drunk. I know those people. I'm not one of them people. I don't think I'm like that. Yeah, i'd be having fun, yeah, a good time, but I did. It was embarrassing that night. I will not lie, all Right's The next one says, when you're about to ask a question that isn't really a question,

Let's give that some context. So it says, if you're sitting in a meeting that's about to wrap up, and you find yourself raising your hand and say something like, so we're going to use our core competencies. Competency, reach out, ride the swim lane, and move the needle until we swift, excuse me, until we shift the paradigm. Don't you're not

asking an actual question. You're spewing corporate jargon so that people will know you're in the bath I was about to say, and you're in the bathroom, so people will know you're in the room, and they will hate you for it because they want to end the meeting and get back to their jobs. I remember people like that, Like, you're just trying to be fucking noticed. Just shut the funk ups so you can go back, or actually, if it's the end of the day, so I can log

off and go to target. Right, because why are we in the meeting. I'm gonna start sitting everybody but you the viral of Davis meeting her, getting her person walking out. I'm sitting right there, everybody like doing jefts and ships about you, right, because now you're just doing some ship for attention. Right here, it goes this brown noser again doing too much. Yeah, so that's a good time to shut the funk up. All right, here's a good one when you're about to complain it's hot, you have too

much work, something smells, the project is stupid. All true, probably, but keep it to yourself. Nobody likes a whiner. Um, this ship is for fucking work, isn't it. But anyway we can apply it to real life. So I feel like, uh, complaining should be like the eleventh commandment, thou shalt not complain. It's hard, but you have so many other things that you should be, can be, and should be grateful for, um that this thing is. It's it's minuscule. Why are

you complaining? It'd be like low ship people be complaining about all right. I hate when people own't doing free ship and complaining about free ship, like you're on a this nigga took you on a free vacation. You complaining. I need salts. I know you ain't talking. I know you're not complaining on a free vacation before. I don't complain. I'm so easy to get along with on free when we're doing free ship, if it's free from me, I'm pleasant.

I'm pleasant. I rarely send food back when I'm all right, even yeah, especially now, since like businesses are like short staff and cross this up, I rarely rarely if it got to be really bad for me to send it back. Yeah, I um, I try not to complain, but if I complain on you, it was really bad because I'm like one of those people who just silently go away. I'm just like, now I funk with that no more, and I'm gonna tell other people. I'm a gossip about your business.

But but I'm not going to like funk your day up about it. So if I funk your day up about some ship, it is really bad and it's like, why are you playing with me? At this point? If I really complain about some ship, and I guess that also goes into relationships. Um My ex, one of my exes, he would always complain about like my hair being on the floor and ship like that. Nigga, your beard hair is all on the floor like pubic hair. You know what I do. I come in the bathroom, I just

sweep the whole bathroom. I don't like pinpoint what's yours and what's mine, Like you just clean up behind each other because that's what you're doing relationships. But for whatever reason, oftentimes people only see what the other person is doing. They don't see their little quirks and ship that get on everybody else nerves. I have a high tolerance hero bocehous. I'll be complaining, like in relationships, specifically about ship. The other person does not like regular little things like that

personality ship I'm complaining about um. I used to get like my ex boyfriend I used to get married when he and leave the toilet seat up because I would falling. And then I had picked up some weight and then I ain't falling. I was even more to you, I asked her, got fatter? I ain't even fall in this time. I'm real mad at you. That's something like gentimen ship. To complain about it, right, leaving that toilet seat up, Don't nobody want to sit on that dried up pe right?

You pissed on the tilest seat and you ain't cleaning it right now? That's that. That's a legit complaint. My dad used to be like, did you lift the toilet seat up when you was done? That's how he used to get us. Yeah, but it don't go up and go down exactly. But he would like, like, Daddy, why do you put the toilet seat down? He'd be like,

why you ain't put it up? Nigga, nigga right. And then my ex used to complain about, alright, I have this thing where I don't tighten the lids on seasonings when I put them back in the cabinet, Like if I'm seasoning food as I'm cooking, I put the lid on it and then I put it up, and I never tightened screw it tight. He used to get mad that the screws were never tight on the season and yeah, because you're being picked it up and now you dropped

it in his waist, is spill spill? Right? But and I get it, and I will I was like, okay, I'll make a conscious effort to start tighten him. But how about you start cooking some ship in here sometimes instead of me having to cook all the time, and then you can make sure they're tight when you cook it because you don't ever cook. Is that was that? Your response when he gave you some critique on something is to respond of something you don't like of him.

That's some bullshit. Just take it and be like, okay, baby, I'll remember right, because because instead of that started to arsent attack the problem. M I learned it. I learned, I told you, I just learned that A therapy girl. Yeah, see see how that works, y'all. Y'all, see how that works. Stop trying to netpick with your damn partner all the time. And that's just in't anything, huh, because he can you just tighten the lids on the damn season? Can you just shut the funk up? Eat the food I prepare

for you? Why are you in my cabinet anyway? You don't cook any I don't cook shot in here. Ever, Let's see when someone else is being a jerk, shut up. Yeah, when someone else is being stupid, rude, belligerent, or an idiot in some way or the other, lit them, don't call them out, get mad or insult or embarrass them. First. They could just be having a bad day or not know how to handle themselves in whatever situation they're in.

Be kind, I guess. I guess everybody is allowed to have a bad day, and maybe it's an opportunity to ask them, hey, you okay, as opposed to you know, being a jerk back, Yeah, being nasty back to them. Because when we say shut the funk up, it's like negative. Right. If you come in with something positive, yeah, absolutely say whatever is. But if you're coming with some negative ship,

then shut the funk up in that situation. So this person is clearly having a bad day, or we're assuming maybe they could possibly be having a bad day if they're being a jerk, asked him, if they're having a bad day, as opposed to matching their jerk. Yeah, but y'all know, y'all be like I reciprocate all energy I know I do, or I just won't say anything to you. If I could clearly see that you're having a bad day or you acting like a jerk, I'll just shut down.

I'm not even saying nothing to you. And I feel like that was one of the issues in my last relationship too, because I didn't feel like he if you were having a bad day and something's going on with you and you need my love right now and you need me to be that that feminine energy to make you feel better, you have to be inviting of that, you know what. Your energy has to be inviting of that otherwise because when I have a bad day, I

really want to be left alone. So that's how I want to be done, right, So I have to match people whatever their love languages is. So, but you have to be inviting of the love if you want to. If you need a hug right now because you had a hard day, you can't just be blatantly nasty to me and expect me to give you a hug. Like, I'm actually not gonna say nothing, so that will be a time that I'll shut the funk up. If you just blatantly being nasty to me, I'm not gonna argue

with you initially. Now if you keep poking on my fucking bear, now, I might kick sweep you. I've been I've been in the gym trying to learn how to kick sweep niggas mid argument. You see, that's Cara, bitch. Could you imagine that you'll be at my house or something like that and I'm arguing on my nigga and you just see me kick sweeping in his head like bunks off the floor a little bit like, oh my god, that would be I'm like, oh my god, I'm leaving. I'm leaving right now. I don't want no parts of

this girl. Listen, Ninja. Uh. I'm like when people are jerked sometimes, especially as people that you know, I'm I know and like it's something going on, I'll just be like overly nice just to make them more mad, so

you ain't shutting the funk up. You're just gonna be super nice, super nice, super nice and make them more and be like, oh, they hate this bitch today, like almost so nice that it comes off fake, you know, right, and they're gonna get that's why they're getting mad because they know that she ain't sucking genuine So you should probably shut the funk up, right right, my point exactly, having a bad day, Ashley, Oh my god, somebody get her some caffeine. Guys, she's having a bad day. No,

clearly you're having a bad day. I want to talk about it. No, okay, going back to my desk. Shame goodness? Do you need a moment all right when you're about to talk to feel in the silence. Silence can be awkward, but there are a couple of reasons you shouldn't necessarily

rush to feel it. The first is that some people just like to think before they speak and aren't as freaked out by pauses as others, So when you jump to fill in the void, you're actually cutting off their thought process, way to beat and make sure they're not

preparing to speak. Another reason is that if you're both uncomfortable with silence, Sometimes you can learn a lot by letting the other person feel it, as we often tend to overshare what we want to impress and overcome any sort of awkwardness that could be perceived as our fault or for not holding up our end of the conversation. This tactic is particularly useful when conducting interviews or during meetings. Okay,

so that's listen job ship, So listen. Okay. If we're if it's some awkward silence, like on the phone and I'm getting off the phone, I'm not filling in ship, let me call you back, Let me call you back, let me call you right back like I'm getting off the phone. In person, I don't really have that problem because maybe I maybe I am one of those people that will fill in silence. I'm saying with a joke

real quick, quick, exactly like I'm good with that. So if you're somebody that's not engaging in a conversation, I just and I if I can't talk to you, you really whack. That's what. It depends on what we're talking about, because if we're talking about something heavy, I'll let that Paul's ride just so you could like because I remember that time I told you, I told it dude like his dick was trash. It was a long pause. I wanted him to absorb what I was saying. I didn't

say it me and I said it nice. You know. I wasn't like, yo, dick is trash. I was just like you let him think too long though, because didn't he get a raid after that? Calm down. Clearly are having a bad day. Do you need a moment? Somebody get them some coffee and stick don't work. So if we're gonna have a urologist on next week, y'all to talk about rerectile dysfunction. So that's a nice little information. Yeah, if anybody has e D call up. We want to hear. Yeah,

we want to have questions. Mm hmm, because we want all dicks to work in two. They gotta change their diets. Man, they talk about black women like leading and diabetes. All black people, black women, black men, we all have the same type of health issues these things. It's not genetics, it's the food that we eat, obviously. So everybody just needs to change the diets and we'll get into that next week. Yeah, so tune in for that. Let's take a break, we'll be right back. We're gonna come back

with our dumb bitch story for this week. Is good. You know dumb bitch stories because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice. So listen, We're back and listen. Today's dumb bitch story UH is brought to you by one of our Instagram listeners. I won't say her name. Um she says. I don't think my dumb bit story is that exciting, but I love the show and I just wanted to write in. So. I started dating this man when I was twenty five. I'm

twenty nine now. He's eleven years older than me. He was really nice, a gentleman, sex was good, et cetera. Plus he used to spend those bags. I ended up falling in love with him, he said, and show the feeling was mutual. But I could never get this man to actually say we were together. I used to borderline beg the nigga to be with me. I've dated other men throughout the years, but I always end up running back to him for the comfort and I know he's

gonna take me to nice places. Fast forward to now. I hit him up a few months ago, and he's back in my life. He's finally ready to settle down with me. But I don't feel like that anymore. Um, I'm really over the nigga. When we're together, I don't want to be touched. We've had sex once recently and I wasn't into it at all. I had to fantasize about someone else to even attempt to enjoy it. I no longer enjoy our conversations. I get irritated quickly. At

this point. I really just keep him around just out of fear of being alone. I guess, Um, I guess I'm a lonely dumb bitch. What you said? Ah, So that's a lot. The thing is is that, don't do y'all? Do we really want men to like us? Because I feel like sometimes when they start liking us at the at the same capacity, like say, for instance, like you chased him in the beginning, right, and then once he starts liking you in the same capacity, sometimes women start

pulling away. Is it because it was the chase you were in love with? Or is it because um, it's like, nigga, you made me, you made me wait all this time. Now I'm not really feeling you like that, because once sex is bad, the relationship really is over. If it's like disgusting for you to funk on him, it's like done. Yeah, just seeing him on his way because I mean he's just being mean to the nigga at this point, like

why are you breathing? Nigga likes you know, like right, yeah, just seeing him on his way, I mean, just be alone, you find something to feel your time about it besides the nigga you don't like, right, yeah, Because she was liking him when he was being indifferent. She liked him when he wouldn't say yes, we're together, she liked him. But now sometimes and like a little chase. That's why

I'm saying these things. But it is it a chase though, if it's the chase that you want, right for some women who like the chase, right when you when you get the thing, because that's that chase ship is really a masculine ship for you to be chasing men. Men are the hunters. Men like to conquer, right, So as a woman, that's not like a natural thing for us.

So I like it. I don't know, I guess because I just feel like so many men be after me all the time that sometimes I want to be like the one doing a little the chase a little bit,

not like crazy. I don't want to be like let me take you to dinner, let me ask you to marry me, right, No, But I do like when a man isn't like just always available at my every whom and just give me something to like wonder about a little bit, like where you at, you know, like just a little bit, not like you're my husband and where you at four in the morning, but just give me a little like give me a little chase, just a little chase. I don't like men that's always available because

I don't like people are always clocking me. Okay, like I don't work a job, but if I did, I would never tell a nigga my schedule that type of thing, like I don't want you to ever know exactly when I'm available. Yeah, Or I don't like when the nigga messaged me on Instagram and then turn around and messaged

me on Facebook the same ship. Don't do that. That's weird, that's annoying, Like stop, I feel trapped by you, not you feel trapped, but not like you don't think for a second that he just want to make sure Listen, hey, I'm in the running. You see me like he want to make sure you see him? I see you guys, see your message in Instagram. You don't have to come

up here in Facebook. Shame God, damn. I don't know. Girl, Leave that man alone if you don't like him anymore, or or maybe you need to figure out what it was that made you like him in the first place and go back to that place so maybe y'all can fall in love at each other. Now, why are you gonna be like stop coming over there and you're working with somebody else? Think, I'm like, damn where Joshua? Exactly? See? And that's the weird thing, Like why we like that hurt?

It's like everybody got a fucking pain body Like everybody just want to feel. I don't like I don't like that feeling in my chest. I don't like it. I can't sleep at night. I don't like it. I don't like my chest to hurt. I don't know what's wrong with y'll, bitches. I don't like to hurt either. Yeah, but just like y'all chest to hurt, y'all do y'all like that drama feeling and y'all like to makeup afterwards. I don't like to. I don't like that. I just

like mutual everything, just cool, copastatic, That's what I like. No, because sometimes that after fight sex be so good. It's not even an after fight. It's like, oh, he answered the phone, and now, like even if you're in a situation where you can't check a nigga about some ship because they ain't really your man m hmm, man like y'all not established in an actual relationship yet, but a hen answering the phone for you, now you're just going

crazy in your mind. You may not display it to him, but that that gives like some fire, some passion that is weird, old fucking behave y'all like it. I don't like that, man. I don't like to have to wonder about ship. I don't just a little wonder. I don't need to like. I don't want you to be too predict predictable and too accessible to me. But then it's just like another piece of bland chicken for dinner tonight,

night after night. So if you call a guy and he don't answer the phone, that don't bother you, No, because I can't answer the phone every time you call, I'm out with somebody else. All right, y'all listen. If you enjoy this episode, please tune in every Thursday on an I Heart Radio Apple whoever you get your podcast, that that's how you're gonna do my thoughts. Do you want a husband or not? I'm talking about I already know who my husband is. God damn, I already know

who he is. Okay, I met him. We're building right now. All right. I hear that, y'all. Look y'all hear that. So, y'all tam getting married next y'all know I'm getting married next year. I don't know about you, but I am. I'm I'm getting a husband this year. Child, and I'm have a whole baby next year. How about that. I don't know about the baby for me, but I'm definitely getting married. I hear that. We're gonna see, We're gonna see. But anyway, like she said, if y'all light this show ahead,

do your ship listen. If you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on an I Heart radio appic where the fun you get your podcast? That this is your co host aj Holiday to point. Oh, y'all follow me, on Instagram, keep them dumb bit stories coming, and the white people scared day sunk with us so we don't have to ask for black friends in a while, all right, y'all allow me on Instagram official Tam Bam I love y'all. Remember to speak now and never hold your piece girl?

What the fun was that I can think in real life? By y'all, Bye bye