Ep 79 "Toxic Bae"with TaylorMade Speaks

seen that. They a lot of brad about to be ten dollars. Girl. Look, I'm glad I've been off carves. Now. I did go out to eat over the weekend and ate for croissants, But then how you off carves if you had? I know, Look, I had been doing really good the whole last I want to say, maybe three weeks no carbs and just car fist on Saturday. But look, I'm gonna be honest with you, bitch. Okay, remember the last time he was a corn and you was eating

a piece of chocolate cake. The next day, I went and got me a boy knows from uh from public and I literally was sitting on the goddamn kick out for I don't know, maybe ten minutes, the beating about buying the kick mix up brownie mix, like I really wanted that. Boy. You know, it's like these little uh it's like a little chocolate, little hazel nut orange that looked like paint on the side. Yes, I love them. They're so good. I put him in the freezer there

from Italy, so I trust them. It ain't an American me little snack. I love him. Girl, you sound like baby. They's in Italy and they put the chocolate on it, and they gotta put it in the freezer. I love cold. I like cold chocolate. How is your birthday? Weekend? Tell us about it was so much fun, so I um food down the Atlanta. I was my best friend. It was her birthday on the sixth, So at the nine

six six, UM we hung out. We went to just had dinner at St. K and then we went to UH couple of clubs, club hop, a couple of sections. You know, nothing too crazy, come all right, little something, a little something. The Sunday we went to um, what's the name of that place? Blue Martini for their Sunday brunch. Hung out there a couple of hours, and then that night I went to a couple of bars again influence. Um, I want to call the ship, but it ain't call that.

It's Sheba Sheba live on the African spot. Yeah, Shiva in living room. So that was nice. We had a good time and I fell in love with that song. Uh I go chiyo. You know what I'm talking about, block up burner burner, block up burner boy, burner ball and it's got Tona Braxton, Right, Tony Braxton. He sampled Tony Braxton song, So I want to go look at that and he's paying her sixty and royalties for that song. Go ahead, Tony, get your back up. Yeah all right,

I loved you. I had a good time. I'm tired now, and typically Monday morning I'll be hungover, but this Monday I wasn't because I had did so much over the weekend. Sunday night, I was kind of like, I can't know more. I realized I'm Auntie. Was sorry, y'all. Look I don't do much. I went bike riding. Let me tell you all about me. I'm gonna be honest women, and I know maybe there might be a lot of women that feel like me. I don't want to do ship when my psycho come on, Okay, I really don't want to

do anything. I literally hardly leave the house and I knew and then be swell up like I just didn't. Sorry my friend, I missed your birthday festivity. Yeah, I was feeling away that he was not there. Other bitches with you. How many was it? It was like ten, that's a lot. I should have been twelve. I'm sorry, my friend. I love you, dude. Like next year, don't don't be missing next year because we're gonna be on

the show. I'm gonna start it off like yeah, it's tam bam, and I ain't fucking with this bitch right here today I got one strike. Yes you usually come. Yeah, can I get a little like a little great in the past this year, getting one grace past this year? That's it. That's see. Look what we got going on in stupid internet news this week, Lin, A lot of scupid ship happened. So apparently there's this place called sessing Me Street, place for children where black kids are being

discriminated against. Uh there is a video. Well it started with one video where these two little black girls were desperately holding their arms out to hug the muppet Rosita, and Rosita basically says no period after she has just hugged some white children. And the look on those kids faces, they looked just like very sad, you know, discouraged because

this muppet would not show them any love. And apparently it's been going on where all these fucking muppets, all these videos are circulating of little black kids being denied the love that they want from their beloved muppets from Sesame Street because it's some probably some racist crackers inside Rosita's body. So I got I saw the video, I saw then initial video, and I guess the mama probably put it out there and make sure she wasn't tripping. Girl,

you are not tripping. And exactly because apparently there's been don't know to three other videos that have come out of them blatantly you know, not wanting to touch black kids. And how much of a bitch ass muffett do you have to be to try to get off on some

little kids. You know what I'm saying, that's what they're doing. Like, could you imagine I would have just really upset all the children at the park because I would have been beaten Rosie the ass, Rosie the little head when we're flying across, Mommy is dead because her Muppet head is on the ground. When I tell you, I would have ruined the whole parade, like everybody for all the kids. Oh if my kids said everybody? Kids said now because Rose,

look at Rosie the Head rolling on the ground. But it would have been easy, though, because while she was watching, you know, marching on by. I would have just stuck my foot out Rosa. But why though, Like, can you imagine the like? Because they can't. They can't do nothing to an adults. So they're getting off on kids. Kids. You're sitting in your little Muppet break room and you're saying, yeah, I I hurt the feelings of seven black kids today.

I'm so dope. Stuff like that. Yeah, and stuff like that to me translates to the classrooms, because who is your kids teacher? Your kids teacher could be doing the same thing. We've seen videos in the past where you've got a little black kid off eating by themselves and they got the whole table of white kids. You know, why is my child by by himself over here that that ship is Listen. I don't care when nobody say. I feel like the kol Klux Klan may just be

like the biggest secret society in the world. You know what I'm saying. It just goes to show that there's racist in hate in every profession, even some places innocent as Sesame Street placed. It's always gonna be somebody who hates on the basis of skin color. I wonder if there was different people and each cost to him, or it was it just one person that they can identify, right, Like does one person wear the same class tum or do they come in as different muppets all the time

exactly because I would like to know. And now you get to hide behind a mask. Looks like a hood to me, you see what I'm saying. While I mentioned like the schools and they're all in the day and police departments, like this ship runs really doctor's office. But don't be getting off on the low kids, I don't like that. I do not like that. Yeah, but we please.

I hope someone figures out how to share who was Rosita that day, because at least we control their Instagram and whatever they anything that got let's just suck it up, right, because they could very well keep their job because the company is okay with that behavior. But we will never know. We'll never know who it is because they just don't take care. Don't take your black children to because they're not loved there. Nope, not at all. So what's up

with um? I've read this article online y'all because I saw it initially on uh days Instagram page. So I went because you know, listen, I'm a gym and night I need all information before I passed judgment. So I saw this article and it says from Kim to Hot Cheetah girls, white people are retiring from blackness. Did you read that article? I sent it to you. I might

have skimmed over it. So on this article they have videos from different little white girls from TikTok, you know, showing there before and after photos there before when they used to wear big hoop airings, braids, do rags, basically when they had the black girl aesthetic to now and how their life is so much better now after they stopped, you know, acting like a black girl. And then now we see Kim K with the blonde here, Chloe has blonde here, very tan anymore exactly. M hmm. So now

it's no longer a popular to be black, apparently. I don't know if I'm still enjoying it. I don't know. I can't speak for anybody else it very much. They say they went blond and lost their bb els. I don't know. I haven't been looking at Kim's ass, you know. Um. You know, Chloe has always been looking like something something. It's given much something to me. I don't know exactly what she looks like, but the chicken thing in hands, you know what I think. In California, though, it's a

thing to look ambiguous, like you can't. They don't want to look like any color for sure. Like she could be white, she could be black, she could be Hispanic, she could be nobody knows what she is, you know. I think that's a very much a thing in California. I don't know. But the TikTok trend is the ghetto hot cheeto girls. That's what they call them black women. That's what they're calling young black girls. That's like the look. It's the ghetto che because they cheat, and black women

love black girls like hot cheetos. Like, so it's like a ghetto thing basically, So when they were looking that way with a black boyfriend and all that stuff, they were going through like the phase, and now they're like and I thought it was because their spray tape and be making them look orange. Look that part that too would be. I don't know, but yeah, it's it's just

weird to me. And I want to have a whole show about this because I want to go into real butts versus the bbls, like people who have real asks and have to deal with, you know, asks in real life their whole life, like me, Yeah, exactly, I want to I want to talk about that. That's me too, bitch. I gotta asked the loot me, but I want to talk. I want to have a whole episode about that because you know, that wasn't the beauty standard at one point, and what it seems now it's like y'all trying to

take it back to another standard. Well, we know that black women have been in offices in school and it's always deemed inappropriate for us to wear certain things because of how our body shape. I went through that my entire life. I can't help it, you know what I'm saying. But it's sort of what we couldn't wear leggings in

high school, but the white girls could. I'm saying, yeah, so like it would have to like you had to be a certain inch from your knee for you to wear it, and like I would feel like in school, like white girls could wear short shorts in me and not get in trouble. But if I did, I would get in trouble. And then who's that's not your fault. It's the grown men not looking at you that got a problem with it, or it's the women that's reporting

it because the grown men, teachers, principal, whoever looking at you. Yeah, that that is not a child's problem. Right, But for whatever reason, black people can't just exist. We can't exist in a way that everybody else exists without being seen, you know, in a sexual way. You know, black women, we just can't. So we're not seen as little girls. We're always seen as adults. Are Black boys get seen as adult men and it can literally be twelve year

old babies. Bas So, yeah, they're a band and in blackness, apparently, I don't know, I've always made go head on with your ass. I don't give listen exactly, gonna be just fine. I've always made the joke that the Kardashians made it okay for a little white girls, so like black boys. I really feel like they helped push that agenda, right, so maybe okay to like white men so we can have our You only want that swag, girl, They always

everybody want that swag. Wait, speaking of the goddamn Kardashians, Tristan boy, your boy, he just kneed. I'm just I was proud of trusting, just for living in his truth. At least be the whole that you always meant to be, like you know you've been holding to stop doing it discreetly, just be outside. Yes, man, listen, I don't know. I do not feel bad for Chloe because you get them,

you keep them how you get them in. That's the saying that man had a pregnant girlfriend at the time when you quired him, right, Okay, so now they just they have a baby on the way, They have a boil in a way via surrogant. And this dude was just out the country with another chick, just holding hands, chilling.

I mean, she looked like Chloe from the back. I don't know, you gotta type or it could have been damn Kim Kake like, this is the same look and the way that Kim kardashi In is shading her sister is were to me, have a conversation with Chloe. Let her know that you do not want to be in a committed relationship. This is the problem with some men, like you can't sign women up for monogamy and no that's not what you want. You can find somebody that would be okay with whatever it is that you want

in a relationship. Do not trick people into monogamy. But girl, she didn't get tricked because yeah, that man had a woman when you got him, So Kim said, Girls can see the difference between two hundred shades of new lipstick, but they can't see red flags. You're talking to your sister. She she's always shading Chloe. She is. I don't like that. Don't do that to me. I would never do my sister like that. I guess it's almost like, girl, you're

still being stupid, that's it. But but because y'all are so public figures, don't embarrass your own sister like that. She already embarrassed enough. I'm sure she is. You know, do some crazy things and you love motherfucker. You'd be putting up with ship that she wouldn't normally put up with, So I do I you know, I sympathize with Chloe a little bit in that aspect, but having your sister being the one who helping to embarrass you on the internet,

I had to. I had to beat up Kim. I had to go over and set her come outside him. I want to talk to you real quick. I ain't gonna do nothing. Do you think it's a situation where you, like, maybe maybe Kim tried to because I can almost imagine if I'm trying to tell you something about your dude over and over and over again, and we know how defensive women can be about their men. Okay, could it be a situation where Chloe might have disrespected him? And now, Kim,

don't give a fuck. You don't disrespect me about this dude who ain't never did you right at all? I told your ass not to have another baby with him, this and the third like and maybe not publicly, it's the public aspect for me, yeah, because I'm already embarrassed and now you're out here talking about two hundred shades and new lipstick. Girl, I'll be to a at my house. Shame because I'm gonna love you and we still assisted, but we're gonna have to You're gonna have to catch

the faith though. Yeah, you're gonna catch these hands. So y'all just then, f I I I showed today is going to be about toxic relationships. We actually have a toxic relationship therapist on He helps people break up within thirty days. That's his job, all right, um, But there's a video online it's this guy, so he is. His name is Emory Andre Tate the Third. He's a four time kickboxing world champion. I don't know if he saw it, Tam, but it looks like he was doing like a podcast

or something. But he was asked, um, you know if his girl um is allowed to go on girl's trips, and he was like, absolutely not, because you know what, I can't do anything if I'm not there. If a man tries to sleep with you, your wore making gold, she not go to the gas station, then she can't go to the there's gonna be man trying to funk all over her. D M S right now. It is a man trying to suck her, like you gotta just exactly all nine like that. He sounds like an in sale.

First you're at home on Instagram, it's a nigga still trying to suck her like relax, like you just gotta trust your girl. Like but I looked on his Instagram page. If you go to the picture of him in the orange shorts, you know, I can you know while you staying home? That's what I means. No, I could. I understand why he might be intimidated by her going outside and getting fun by other people. Hold on orange shorts. Wait wait, wait, oh, there's nothing there there, There's nothing there,

So I get it. Bro home. Look, my worst fair is having a son who you don't have to be like super well endowed, but like just having a son who may grow up with a super I feel like those guys have like insecurity issues and this guy is definitely displaying that. And I don't want to have to cleve with a son with insecurity issues because he played football and he see everybody else junk now and now he realizes his dick little. I don't want to deal with it. But he's well, he looks like a wealthy man,

you know, he looks like he's well off. He gotta be Yeah, okay, he gotta be rich. Now, some women might like, you know a little things. We don't know that man got a little bit based on that picture. I don't want to just assume that I didn't see anything. He gotta COUCHI I'm assuming he got a that's that nice. You got gonna say that man gotta couch you. That's a grown man. Girl. You can't tell me he punching nobody in the face. This guy, he does, his energy

does give um. I'm gonna beat I'm gonna beat you up. So I'm gonna because I want him to come see about me. He's gonna get this motherfucker gonna get robbed he comes see about me. That's that man. That's all. I got a lot of the break going on. There's a lot of ship going on. But that's it. Let's gonna break and we'll be right back with our expert you guys on how to leave your toxic situation. All right, we'll be right back. Listen, we gotta special guests on

we talked back this week. Okay, yeah, this is my clubhouse friend, but he's also a toxic relationship. Uh specialist, Right, So are you a relationship specialist. Who who's toxic or you are you work with toxic relationships? Because I work with toxic relationship but I've been called the toxic bay. Toxic yeah, toxic bay. I don't know what that means, but that's what some of my friends call me, women friends. Sounds like exactly every nigger I ever dated was toxic bag.

So y'all listen. So Taylor, he's a former military police veteran and US federal agent that has a decade worth of responding to nine one one calls for domestic violence disputes. Okay, Taylor has been uh taking his past experience and it's now a world renowned relationship expert experts. Excuse me, y'all know I can't read anyway. Helping men and women exit toxic relationships, you know, and helping them find self love again, because that's what it's all about, right when someone's mistreating

it's kind of an internal issue, that's dope. Listen, I need some help now. I'm trying to stop being toxic in relationships. Hey, let's do it. Let's do if you get you help right now. So I got my first question. If I'm dealing with a nigger who gives me a lot of money, but he's for the streets. Should I leave or should I stay? It depends on what you're looking for, like like what like what is your ultimate goal?

Like like like like why are you attracted to this due that's from the streets, Like what what does he do to turn you on? Ah? He makes sure I'm comfortable finance. Okay, So he's a provider. So so pretty much, whether he's from the streets or not, provider is check for you. Yeah, that's very important. That's not the most important thing. I mean, it's it's very important, though, But I would rather have somebody who was a provider that wasn't for the streets. Okay, he's not, he's not my man,

you know what I'm saying. He everybody man so for the streets, not in the streets, right yeah, okay, So, um, but like I said, you can find guys that's out there that are providers. Um, that's about their money, that's about their money, and that would also be able to to provide those things to you. Where they at there there, they're there, they're there. Um, they're probably not in the clubs,

they're probably not on the corner. But you can find them, like at networking events, right, CEO events, Right, those guys that they're looking for a woman, they're looking for a woman that can provide at the house, that can you know, take care of kids, right, all that all that fantasy stuff that y'all want, right, And these guys don't have the time and the ability to do that, right, And so they're looking for that woman that they can take care of, right, and that could be a mother of

your child or or what have you. So there's guys out there. You just gotta position yourself and be in the right place to find those individuals. See see see see a lot of the guys from the streets. I mean not he's not from the streets, he's right, But we're definitely out where did those individuals hang out. So I feel like I'm in the places where the same guys you would meet, and you know, like a networking event, it's the same guys the rids. I'm hanging out these

fancy places, I'm not. I mean I got to the hood clubs too, every now, don't get it twisted. But I definitely in those environments that you speak of. Go ahead, and I think I meet decent men sometimes, but there's there's usually something missing and and what and what is that usual thing that's that that you're not able to find um consistency And so there's a tradeoff oftentimes for the provisions. But what do you mean trade off? Like if he's providing, if he's providing, what are you what

is he not then providing? If he's providing financially, then what is he not providing? Well, he doesn't want commitment, that's the thing. That's like everything else is good. He just doesn't want to come. He doesn't ever want to be committed to anyone, well as far as the future whole, cause he doesn't want commitment with anyone. He enjoys being a single, successful man who can do whatever he wants.

And there's right, and and you're okay with that or you're looking you're looking for commitment, right, Yeah, I mean you're looking for because uncertainty, it's not it's not good, right, we don't like the uncertainty. Right, one day you're here, the next day you might be gone. But I think that you can find that. I think that you can find that. But it might not be in him, right, Oh, it's definitely not. We already know. We already know that. So this is why, this is why she's considering this

a toxic relationship. We jumped right into therapy. Bitch, wait for your answer. But but but but but but that's not toxic. That's not toxic. Just because he don't want to commit, that doesn't mean that the person is toxic, right, I think that. I think that he just don't want to commit. He loves He's not the toxic one. It's me because I'm in a relationship that I know does not fulfill the things that I desire except for one thing, you know, And that's why I'm staying, you know, And

it's the money. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I don't think that. I don't. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be honest, and it might shock, it might shock a lot of people. That's that's listening. I don't think that's toxic. And gonna be honest with you. If you're if you're there for the money, if you're there for the money, because this person can provide. It's just like no different than somebody's a listening here, and I know that I'll never get with them. They're never gonna fulfill the rest of my

my dreams, But I love being in their presence. No, you're you are. You were hanging out with this individual knowing that you're not getting anything in return as far as commitment or long term relationship. But he's providing for you financially, and he's willing and doing that. You're not holding a gun to his head. He's openly willing doing it. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There's no

one misleading, no one. Now, Now, if you if you're in that situation and you were trying to make it something else, then it could get it can get a little toxic. But if you understand what it is and he understand what it is, I think you guys have a great arrangement. Partner. Yeah, but I want Yeah, I mean it's working, it's it's working. So let's let's go into what are some signs of a toxic relationship, like a real toxic relationship. What does that look like for

some people? Oh my goodness, Well, I'm gonna give I'm gonna give one of the one of the obvious signs. And this is the this is the sign that encompassed all the other signs. Right, it's when you're walking on eggshell, it might see basically, remember I remember a young lady told me that is so basic. Look like look look, look, look, look walking on eggshell. If I was to rip, if I was to peel that onion, you know what? You know what? Being scared around an individual, you don't know

what to say. You don't know if the person is gonna snap, You don't if the person is gonna hit you. You You don't know what kind of moved that person in. That is not fun, right, And it's like it's like land mines. I always because I'm former military, it's like walking around land mines. You don't want to piss the person off. You don't want to slam the cabinet door. If you don't want to slam the door because the

person might be quick to anger. Right. And so when you feel nervous around an individual, whether at your job, whether it's your significant other, you're in a toxic situation because no one should be no one should make make you feel nervous. That's number one, right, And you have to really really find out the reason why am I nervous? Now, if it's butterflies because you like the individual, that's a

different kind of toxicity. Right chemistry, but exactly. But if they're making your heart beat and you're you're you're always you know, your anxiety percent, your prompting, sweating, you're shaking, that is that that that is horrible. And so that's

the major, the major obvious sign. Now there's other signs, right financial you know, you hear you hear on on on other platforms me and a j uh is on that that you know, I I want a man that's a provider, which tam you said that too, right, But a lot of times those providers have the other person so trapped in the palm of their hands that if you even try to leave them, you can't because they're controlling your credit card, They're controlling all the finances, the

check book, everything that comes in financially. They are the gatekeeper to that because you are so used toul and it said, sometimes it's a deception. You're so used to going to daddy to get some money, right, and you go and brag to your girls. Currently brought me, I

believe the time person taking some stilettos, some red bottoms. Know, it feels good to be taken care of, it feels amazing, But once you try to leave that situation because maybe some abusiveness or mental abuse starts happening and he starts shutting those things down where maybe he's paying your rent, girl, he paying my rent when he stopped paying your rent, now when he's right. So these are the things that

we need to really look for. But that's just like I said, few signs of being at a toxic relationship. I used to date a guy just like that when I was living in Atlanta back in uh two thousand seven or eight. I was in cosmetology school, and I would have to lie to him, like if I asked him for money to like pay tuition or for something

to better myself, he wouldn't give it to me. I would have to ask for like bullshit and use it to pay my tuition because if it was money to do anything that would make me independent of him, he would not give it to me. That ship was crazy. And you say, yeah, I mean people do that all the time. But like I said, a lot of times, it's because the way how the world is going. And and I'm and I'm gonna say this. What was popular before the pandemic was I'm getting my bad girl, I'm

getting my bag, I'm getting my bag. I'm getting the bag. Okay, pandemic happen. Business went under, and it's now I'm looking for a man that provides, right so, so, so we have the good guys that provides, and then we have the bad guys that provides, like narcissists, right and so and so they reel you in. Girl, I'm gonna take here. You don't have to work, you don't have to do nothing. I don't want a beautiful woman like you lifting a finger.

And they take you in and they whine and dine, and not only that, you're around your girlfriends, and your girlfriend's fall in love because they're charismatic, and the way how they talk is so sexy, right, and so they have and so they have so they have a way of drawing people in. So here's the deal. When you try to leave and you tell your girlfriends all the horrible things this man has done to you, they can't believe it because what they've been presented, it's not who

that person really is behind post worth. What if your girlfriend your mama. That happens. Sometimes parents take the other person's side and not your all kids side. Right, you know, you just always trying to ruin things. Girl. You know, like, no, a man gonna be a man that I hate. That's saying, right, A man gonna be a man, you know, a happy a happy wife, a happy life. No, I am going through hell in this relationship. And I need some help.

I need some assistance. This person is mentally tearing me down every single day saying that I'm stupid, I'm dumb, I'm ugly, I'm fat. It happens everyday. So do you think people could be like addicted to toxic relationships? Because why does it always seem like it's so hard to leave. It's like almost like some dope. Oh I believe that. I believe because it's emotions. It's emotions, And believe it or not, some people love pain. I can pay anybody

more than some. They love pain, whether it's physical pain. Right, That's why they have that bondage and the whips and all that stuff. No shame, but do those b DSM those kind of pain? And then you have people that love emotional pain. Now, I'm going to bring it close to the home. When you're all were smaller, have you

listened to songs that made you cry? Yes? And you know I always say that I'm not gonna let my daughter listen to like Mary J. Blige, like bitch you listening to No R and B. Because you internalize that stuff. And you have seen those videos of those little girls on Instagram and the car with day Mama, like all emotion and the song singing it like why why do you have those emotions? And you are a little girl.

So I feel like we internalize those things from little girls, you know, like the herd and if he if he likes you, that if he's hitting you at school, maybe he likes you. So all these different little things. That was the thing when you were a little girl, like he just hitting you because he likes it. He's just being mean to you because he likes exactly. And so now we're like that. Ever, arrogant men who are oftentimes mean, they may not be physically hitting you, but they mentally

they might abuse you no one. And I think that, and I think that's why a lot of parents don't hit their kids because a lot of times you're here the reason why I'm doing this because I love you and I don't want you to go down the wrong well. So if you hit a child and tell the child you're hitting them because you love them. Imagine when that child reach an adult age and they get hit, it's because remember things that we have grown up with stays

with us. You know, one thing that I can say, I was the ever go to any person's home right and the trash is almost at the rim. I'm I'm agitated, I'm pacing. It does something to me and I'm hearing my mom's voice because you usually yell at me telling me to take the trash out, take that trash. I'll take that trash, and that stuff have stuck with me today. I cannot see a half full trash can tailor made

is taking your trash? Yea, yeah, y'all. Nigga said that because they'll walk right past your trash can like I just cooked. Figure, can you take the trash out right? And you you take mine out right? Now? You need to go out right. So these are the things that we got to be careful of what we are instill in our children, because they grow up to it and it's traumatic for them, and we might think it's not.

You know, even if they're not being I think even as an adult, even if you're not being hit, you might feel that there's a problem with that, like you know, we we we've heard that before. If he if he doesn't at you, he don't love you, or and and one other thing that I want to I want to add to that too, um, is that even when it comes to let's talk about it like like like the police, we sometimes as as um you know, the black culture, we use the police to scare our kids. If you

act up, I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him, locked you up. I'm gonna get him, lock you up now now, So so that kid is that that that that that scene is embedded, I'm gonna get him to lock you up. I'm getting locked him up. Be afraid, be afraid, be afraid. What happens when your teenage son is driving your car and get pulled over by the police. He might not shot, he gonna run. You've don't terrorize this kid saying that you're gonna threaten to lock him

up with the police. Right, but the police have also done a good job in this country. You're scaring our children to hundred no one, And I'm I would never discount that. You're absolutely right, Um, yes, you're correct. They have. UM. I just think that the teaching should be different. But you know, the scarcity shouldn't be uh to like a five year old that I'm gonna call the police to

lock you up, right, um. And I think when you when that child gets older, the conversation needs to have and I'm gonna bring it back to a toxic relationship. I think a lot of times we don't have these conversations, right, you know, we get we get kind of sidetracked because of the looks. You know, oh man, she fine, you know that girl boy or or the guy is fine,

or what have you? Or or he got a good job, he got all these things, and the conversation kind of it doesn't happen, right, It's like a lot of texting, you know what I'm saying, Like, you know, I don't I don't talk that much now here. Here's one toxic situation if you meet a guy as a woman that don't talk that much. That's why, Okay, when y'all have a disagreement, you think he's gonna now start talking or he's gonna be quiet, right, right, So you have to

understand what you want. What you want. Do you want a person that communicates? You cannot date somebody that doesn't talk. I'm scared of people who are don't talk really because I mean, I don't like a man that's like a super chatty patty. But I'm scared when you don't talk because I feel like people who don't talk, they're just looking around observing stuff to have a problem with. And I've experienced that in my real life in a real relationship,

Like he didn't talk much. He would just observe people and then say something to me about them later on. You know, no, And I think you're right. I think it could be missed. Because I had talked to somebody that that that didn't talk. I didn't know what she was thinking at any given time. I mean, she literally drove me crazy because I always had to guess, and she kept on telling me, Hey, you can ask me if you if you're unsure, ask me what your demeanor

wasn't welcoming. I was scared to ask you why. I don't ever want to feel like that. I want to be able to ask you any question. You ask me any question, even if it's stupid. I don't care, right, because we have to communicate that comfort, that ability to say something stupid. It might be dumb, but I am I feel safe saying it to you because you're the one that I want to spend my life with. Grow, build right, And if anybody, if any if, if if,

if I'm gonna embarrass myself, it should be you. I'm embarrassing myself in front of you, and I could be vulnerable. And this is let me say this, this is the reason why. And I'm gonna say this to the guys because guys want to. You know, women always the always emotional, and they always they always be revengeful. The reason why these women are revengeful, it's not because the got cheated. Section. It's not the cheating that that hurts. It's it's the deceit.

And it's the secret that you guys share in the bedroom that that dude shared with another woman, and that woman regurgitated to you when y'all connected to try to match each other's story because he cheated, right, And so when you hear that how he called her, I don't know, uh, pooky girl, girl. He licked my butt too, girl, looking at my butt just like he licks y'all. But so

you're just out here looking. But that's what hurts, because that's something that you guys shared that's something that you guys did and y'all made a bow and a promise that this is our thing, and now you went out here and did it with somebody else. And that's where the anger comes from. That's when you want to kill a motherfucker's you know, this is for that, exactly for that, right? So yeah? So, I mean, I know we talked about

intimate relationships, but there's other types of toxic relationships. So do you help people like with toxic relationships with their boss? Oh? I love it. I mean I had some toxic boss. I'm sure y'all have ran across some toxic and I got a bit name in my freezer since I don't know, no, A hundred and and and and and My thing is this, it's not it's not talked to you. It's not help people how to exit, because there's not all the time you can just leave a job. You're paying bills, you're

providing for your family. You need the money. So how do you navigate daily through that position with a toxic individual? What about a family member that you have to be around? What about it is your mama? What about a family you union that this toxic person always say one thing, and it destroys the mood. How do you navigate through that? Right?

And so these are the things that I helped people um navigate their way through so they can go through life, because, like I said, not everyone is able to cut people off. I mean, you could cut your mama off, but I wouldn't advise you to cut your mama off. I would advise you to be strategic and know how to handle her, right. And I shouldn't say handle her because people as they're like, uh, know how to maneuver with her. It's like a Waltz. Right. So what advice would you give someone that's in a

toxic work environment with their bosses? Like have you ever seen that movie Sault and the lady was like clipping the stapler in his ear every time? Like, like, what do you do with with someone like that? What would you advise them to do? Right? Well? What? Well? Number one, I wouldn't advise them to be left a loan, right, And we know that, right, especially if it's a woman

and the guy. Right. But I think that I think that any kind of question that you're going to ask your boss, do it in a in a team's kind of setting, right, because you have your support, which you other people is witnessed, right, because it's your word against your manager, right, especially if you're trying to build it. Let's just call it what it is, especially if you're

trying to build a case, right. Um. I think that I think that eventually you would have to leave if if you're not able to handle it, right, because that's that's you're you're talking about somebody that's in authority over you, right, that's making your life miserable. And I think it's different when you have a friend of family member or a boyfriend and when you have somebody that's over you now.

And that's why being in a relationship and that the guy is or the woman, either one is the person that's holding the money over you is dangerous, right, And so I think that I think when it comes to your boss, one thing that we have to understand, it's emotional and eligence. Right. We have to be able to control our emotion because we're angry. We're angry, we want to cry. Sometimes we're shaking because they just piste us off.

And sometimes we feel powerless we want to fight, right, So we have to be able to control that emotion. And I'm gonna speak for us black people too, right, especially black people. We're very expressive, like, yo, you can just tell me something like I ain't gonna take this like, we're very expressive. But the thing is you have to be careful, So you have to bring that tone down, right. We have to learn verbal judo, And that's what I learned as a police officer, how to deescalate a situation

that's spiraling out of control. Sometimes it's the picture of your voice. Right, if you really want somebody to listen to you, bring it down to a monotone points and people will listen to you. Right when you start yelling, it's it's exciting exciting the other person, right, It's it's making the other person, um really really excited too and bringing their emotion um. So you have to be able to kind of bring it down. And sometimes we're caught up in the moment and we're not able to listen

to our conscious mind to retain ourselves. So what do you do with Taylor made you take a bathroom break? You might laugh, you might laugh, but I'm telling you, when you're getting really heated and you feel like you want to punch the person in the face, you have to be able to walk away. How do you walk away and still hold your dignity? Go to the bathroom

because and this is what what what it does. It doesn't make you look like a punk because you gotta pay right right, So so it doesn't and it kind of psychologically trick your mind because it's not telling you you walked away because you were scared, because sometimes your mind kind of pushes you to right. But I ain't gonna be no punk. I hold me on. But if you go and take a bathroom break, I just need

to go to the bathroom. Just go to the bathroom, angry and calm down, right, Just take a moment in the bathroom, and then you'll have a different energy coming out, right, but that yelling energy. And that's where a lot of domestic violence happen, especially when a man and woman is arguing and he's trying to leave the house and she was where are you going? And she grabbed the keys. Just let him he's trying, and let him go, and she stands in front of the door. And this is

where the hit happens. I know it's this is graphic, but it's when they're standing in front of the door and they won't allow the man to leave, and he bumps the woman, and once the bump happened or the grabbing happen, that's assault. And that's where the domestic happen. Yeah, yeah, look, I definitely done took it there. I ain't even gonna lie.

I've definitely been that person. Nigga, where you're going, I don't know what you think you're going right now, I'm lit really always the one trying to leave, and I will take the I will take you walking out on me as a sign of disrespect. And that's where to me, like, I've literally been the one trying to leave and damnit getting held hostage. So now I feel like an ape in a fucking cage and I'm gonna do whatever I

gotta do to get out of here. So now it gets really bad and really ugly because I feel like if my man wanted to leave to calm down, I'm gonna let him leave. I'm not gonna make that a problem. I'm not taking the keys. I had a nigga hide my keys and like I'll send a picture with my sperity, like vibe it about. But in that moment, in that moment, you're not feeling like they're leaving to calm down, or maybe that's what's even if they feel like it felt

like you're not leaving the calm down. You feel like you're leaving because you said what you had to say and now I don't get to say what I need to say. And I took it, and I take it this disrespect instead of just trying to calm be calm so we could have a have better communication. That's how I have been No gohead now if you want to leave care, that's how I got too old. I have no energy for that ship. No more go ahead, no

no problem. I might be hearing going back. Right, even when the pandemic happened, right, people wasn't able to really leave right. So it's where how you work from home, how you divide your house, right to go into another room? Right, it's I mean, if you don't physically want to leave the house, and if you know that the other person, it hurts them when when when when they need you the most? Some people is in an argument, they need

you the most. Right, they're hurt whatever or you might have cheated, you might have said something to hurt their feelings. They're going through some tough time and you walk out in them. That sometimes can be devastated to some people, right, or they might be dealing with some traumas back in the past where their mother walked out and their father

walked out. Right. So, so, how do you the other person, defuse the situation because by you staying there, there's arguing there, and that's doing something to me though it's doing so I understand your triggers and me walking out how it may affect you because you have abandonment issues. But then how do I navigate that because what you're doing is hurting me so so so so can there be some compromise? Maybe you don't leave the the house grounds go to your That's why I always say I cannot live with

a man in like a one bedroom apartment. I don't know how people do it. Like if we get into an argument and you walk past me, I'm gonna trip your ass up, Like, like I need you to be able to get as far away from me as possible. If we're not going to leave the premises, okay, and if I don't, if I try to go into another room, at least let me do that. Sometimes some people don't even let you do that, they'll follow you. That's show. That's show, and and and and that's why you have

to have that you toxic? Okay that in the beginning, I admit that I have been toxic? Did you did? I wanted you? Just don't want to be left alone, that's all. She doesn't want to be loved. She wants to be left alone at the same time, but I'm a Gemini, chose okay, leave me then alone. But state like, what right? No, y'all crazy? So look, can you tell our listeners, like, what are some of the long term psychological effects of having stayed in a toxic relationship too long?

You know, because many, many these days they talked about the modern that the modern woman, the traditional women. Traditional women stayed in toxic, toxic situations their whole lives, like they literally exactly or they died old, but they sacrificed their whole vibs for this husband and the children and the grandchildren. You know what I'm saying, what's the quality

that's not a quality of life? Like the quit I feel like they might die old, but they died ten years younger than they were supposed to because of all their stress and trauma's possible. They don't even know how to have fun. They don't even know how to enjoy life. And that's why sometimes you would see them acting kind

of awkward or kind of out of touch. You haven't seen a person that's been married so long and they don't even know how to even have a conversation with a stranger, right, And I think that I think that those are some of the things, right and you're you're, you're, you're right, Um, they need to be able to It's almost like they've been removed from society, the real world, let's just call it what it is. They've been living in their own world, whatever that world was, and so

now they're being introduced to the real world. And some people are so it's they've been in this situation for twenty years and a lot of things. It's not going to change on their how they think and how they pursu see, right, um, And so sometimes it takes time, right, Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it takes a lot of activities and and going to see a therapist and what have you. But I think, yes, can it be damaging one because you're talking about somebody that's been trained a

certain way just like me being in the military. It used to be a military, right, I've been trained a certain way, and now you're telling me that, um, you know marching is wrong. Well, we march in the military. When you're talking about marchin is wrong. I've been doing it for twenty years, right, That's all I know. So, no, marchin is not wrong. But you're telling me there's another way that you can walk, but I can't see that.

And that's where that's where sometimes the relationship becomes toxic, because you're being in relationships with people that have preconceived notions and have habits that you haven't even discussed with the individual, and maybe sometimes you don't even know, and then when you come together, there's a mismatch, there's issues, there's drama. Oh my god, I don't know what I

got myself into. Well, and that's why we got to ask these questions, right, And that's why now that we know we know what toxicity is, we have an idea what's toxic. There's no reason unless you're the toxic one. Dam there's no reason why why you can't pick up on some of these songs. It's out there. We know it's out there. Yes, this person is showering me with money.

He's saying all these pretty and nice things. Right, I need to know how he treats his friends, how he treat his mother, how he treats the waiter, how he treats another woman, right, how he treats me when he's not in front of his family or his friends or his boss. Because see, here's the thing. They'll treat you amazing in public. Oh, they will wine and dining in public. And as soon as you get in that car during the door closes, you're a bit double backslap hit and

all kinds of things. Right, So we we gotta pick up on these signs. And like I said, when you go out on a date with an individual, look on how he treats the waiter. If he's shitty with the waitress for no reason, bing bing bing bing bing, that's something you need to record. Yeah, right, because the actresses, I don't want to eat with her. I don't know,

she's just so mean to service people. I don't even like going out to eat with her sometimes, like, and she's like, well, I work in the service industry and I know good customer service, so it pisces me off to see people doing half as job. I mean I don't have to, that's true. I mean I could get that.

You know, I love customer service and and and and I think that, but everybody does customer service differently, like like you said, so, yeah, she might be a little hard, you know, just like some people that are chefs and stuff like that when they're eating. I wouldn't want to go out to dinner with a chef if you're if you're a chef, because you're gonna criticize the gravy, the food, the chicken. I do, but I don't complain to the to the to the waiter though I'll stow you. I

just I'm like one of those people who just quietly disappear. Okay, I'm gonna tell my friends your ship is fucked up, but I'm not going to like because I know how it feels to get your day ruin. She could be having a bad day like your waitress, right, and then you just come say some slick ship and should be back in you know, the back crying like I would never I know what it feels like to be in customer service, not necessarily like that type of service. But yeah,

so here's the thing. If I was to date to a J and see this is this is just an example I'm gonna put out there, if I was to date to you number one, As a man, I have to understand that if there's an area that you are really good in and you know how a certain things supposed to be and you I'm not gonna say you are you are a critic of imperfection in that area. I know that I need to not pick the restaurant. Okay, I needed I need to. I'm not saying that I won't pay, but I need to make you to be

the lead. So what I would say is, hey, ay J, look I find you very attractive. I think you're an amazing person. I want to get to know you more. Um, do you have a favorite restaurant that you that you go to, right? And then you and then so and so. Now I'm taking you to your restaurant because that's what you like. You know what the services right. But see what a lot of times people do is they don't

do that right. They say, look, I'm gonna take you to my restaurant because they think their restaurant is hot ship right, And now you go to my restaurant and now you're saying something about my gravy, which is my favorite gravy. And my mama loved these guys to take you to, so why we got a plastic for it? Right? That's like guy's been taking their restaurants another woman I introduced them to, Like, don't be taking me to some subpart place, some sub aur bitch done had you at

because men never know what they want to eat. And I always threatened dudes like when I started dating them, like if I catch you, because I know where I want to eat, right, so I'm always had like the low place set up. If I catch you in a place I introduce you to with another woman, I'm gonna clear the motherfucker table in my forearm. Okay, it's not fair. I'm a flipper. I've never done it right, But don't be up in my place with somebody else. That's what

you know. Guys, be like, have you been here with somebody already before? Yes, I've been all over this city in every restaurant I like to eat, right, It's just not fair where we're gonna go. There's nowhere left to go. I like to eat so and my things that that's usually comes from that that's usually comes from a little insecurity, right, and sometimes people just want to try something new that you guys can have your memory together. Look, somebody that's confident,

let me tell you something. I'm you could call me cocky, whatever. I am so confident that I can take you to the same place that you was wine and dine with with another guy, and I can make you have a total different experience with me and memorable. I could care less about if you went with ten different dudes to the same restaurants. All right, Taylor, let that's how it should be, Taylor, I hear you, because my thing is this, right,

everybody experience is different. You're not gonna have the same experience. And so, like I said, people that's what kind of insecure. And maybe they don't know if they're, you know, a ten above the person that you had the experience with, so they're kind of thinking, I wonder what they did. I wanted she had a better time with him or her, what have you? Like we were worried about the wrong things.

We need to be focused on you. Like, like I said, I can overshadow the experience that you had with that other person. I could care less. You know what I'm saying, that's clearly it wasn't all that you have to eat with me today, right, So that would be considered like a red flag toxic. If somebody's like always asking about previous relationships, I want to know how many people you've been with? Oh, don't ask those questions. Don't ask those questions.

Who cares? Some men care? Some men care? That is that is, don't don't like that. That is the most I don't not want to know how many how many men you've been with, but it's irrelevant to me. It's irrelevant to me what that has to do with me. Okay you've been with one guy, Oh you don't have no experience. Okay, you've been with twenty guys. Oh you've got too many bodies. Come on, you want exactly so, No, you don't need to know it. It's not irrelevant. Let's

let's get to know each other from here. Now. You might want to know some things of my pastor you like if I have a child, right, you might want to know, like you know what's your child like and how what type of father you are? Those things are are different and important. How many people I dated have

nothing to do with you. Vice versa. As long as it's none of my friends, I don't care, right if you suck them, if you suck my friend, it's kind of like, well, I mean, I don't know if I want to be serious with you, we might get but I don't know. Yo, but see, but but but but but here's the thing, and just say y'all niggas, no, y'all be passed around to go ahead. But it takes it takes a true person to come and let you know, because they don't have to say anything. A true person

and let you know. Hey, look, your friend, we we talked like six months ago or two years. Well maybe not six months ago, that might be too soon, but like three years ago, whatever it was in the past year. We had six one time and that was it, right, I mean that right there. I respect that. Then you're not telling me at all. And and it depends how you tell me. Don't be telling me like the sex was the bomb dot com because we're gonna have some problems. Okay, no,

it ain't. So what if you're with somebody, right and they find out that at some point in your life you dated like a distant relative, supposed distant relative, there's right, and the relative knows that you're with this guy now, right, but you didn't disclose it to your current guy, Like this is a twelve year old relationship from way back when, and I didn't feel like I needed to to let you know when we got together. You know what I'm saying. You can't even tell me his mama's name. So is

that really your cousin? Like? Am I wrong for not disclosing that information? Could that be seen as being toxic? Are creating a toxic situation? Yeah? I think that. I think that. Um, you know, there's certain things that you take to your grave as long as that grave unwrapfle like, okay, so he will that dug the grave up? He dug the grave up. It's not like somebody told him. He literally dug the grave up. The nigger went through my Facebook twelve years back, so I didn't even know you

existed at the time. So because you're snooping that hard, you see an argument between me and a woman in regarding this guy, right, who happens to be somebody you know, Yeah, but that's not that nigger cousin. You don't even know if his family like that, Like, so you can't even pinpoint, how y'all are even cousins. You're just saying that. You're just trying to say that to make me feel bad, Like that's toxic to me. And I think some people some people do that, right, Some people just do that.

Like say, for instance, you might apologize to somebody, right, y'all have an argument. Y'all apologize somebody, but they won't let it go, like you apologize, but they won't let it go. And they love that argument back and forth, like that pain going, that yelling, that strife, like they love that stuff. So, yeah, you're right. Sometimes some people just want to create something that's not really there because

either they know some people do. I gotta work on myself because I'll be doing that too, not not to like just fight, but so I used to like pick a little fight so we could have like angry sex and that's it. I know. But it used to be so good. I know, I know. But my thing is this, why can't y'all role play angry? It's not the same. It's not the same. And Nick ain't pushing your head into that pillow the same. You ain't find the right niggers.

But but but yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, a lot of people do that, right, They want to have that that that that that it's a pay as it is, and I think that's, um, it's not healthy. It's really not I know, because the thing is is that then because now you're hooked on that, and so if the person don't make you feel that way, um, then then yeah, you start poking buttons, right, and you start doing things to make this person mad. I remember one girl told me, she goes, I never saw you angry. I want to

see you angry. Why why do you want to see me mad? I think it's important to see a person mad before you marry them. True, true, But you don't. Let's do it again. Can we not have an organic argument then? Exactly? Like, don't create something just to see because that should can backfire. Like I feel triggered right now. Okay, I feel like really triggered just thinking about times where I was chilling and motherfucker could come home and just change the whole aura, and it's it takes a long

time to get over that type of thing. Like, So another question I had was like, how, um do you really even recover from a toxic relationship? Because we're having this conversation and I don't got triggered, like I know, my honest okay, like how do you and win? Like it's gonna take me a long time because even like y h yeah, no you you, you will always have

those triggers. There's no different than It's no different than a cologne um that you with, this guy that you felt that was tall and fine and stuff of that. And when you smell it, you can smell it ten years later, twenty years later, it still brings you back to that place. Right, whether it's a song that you hear, man I remember and it brings you. So we're we're so we have triggers in our lives, whether good triggers are bad triggers, right, And I think that, yes, you'll

always have that trigger. But what makes you an overcomer is to be able to control it. Right, it's because so so so how do you control the trigger. I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna be honest with you. It's kind of bad. It's to sit in it. So so so like like like right now you're feeling triggered, right, you want to run, you so, so if you run, you're not facing it, right, So, so now you sit in it, right and so, but but it's more to than just sitting there. You don't know if they're like okay,

tailor man, I'm just gonna sit in it. Okay, beat me up. No, So now we have to have a conversation, and that's where an expert comes in, right, a therapist comes in professionally, because now we have to understand why do you feel that way? And there that we go down that y pack, why do you feel that way way? I feel that way because this is the situation that I was in. Well how come you was in that situation?

Because I need to hear what happened right, And a lot of times people are not um uh forthcoming and telling you what they tell you the part that they know, right, But when somebody's trying to help you, they need to know the full orient. Sometimes we ask these why questions and it seems like we're going down a rabbit hole, but it pulls out a lot out of a person. So, yeah, you have to find out why do you feel that way?

And when do you feel that way? Right? Um, when this happened, I feel that way right, and so um and then and then and then once we get that because that's a soft spot right. Now, we got the heart right, and now we got to heal it right. And how do you heal How do you heal it by doing therapy right, massage in it right, making you

make getting you there. And that's why there's techniques that license therapists do to get you there, to get you right right, like right there where your emotions is so high and it's able to kind of like kind of like men the wound when you're at that top. See if your friends do it and you're right, you can explode, man and be damaged. That's why you don't quote it

your friends because I'll tell this. I'll tell the same story to five different friends, and I'm just re victimizing my own self every single time, Like it's just like a world press to a girl. Let me tell you what this nigga did. I gotta tell the same couple of people that I tell every time, the same thing. Like I'm working on that. Yeah, So so we're gonna get you to just tell one person or maybe me, maybe two people, Me and somebody and you and the listeners.

Let me tell you what happened. Hold On, Taylor, were you in the room the other night when that guy came in there and called me uh. He came in randomly and he called me um, not deceitful. He called me um ah, he said I was devious. Were you there? No? I was not there. Oh why did he call you that? Though? It was random? So we're in the clubhouse, little uh and this ties into what we're talking about kind of, right. So we're in a in a clubhouse, little um social room.

So there's only a couple of us in there. I thought Taylor was in there, but I wasn't even looking at the phone at the time, Like I literally had it off of mute and I just had it on the bed. So all of a sudden, I'm talking and I hear somebody said, you're you devious. I'm like what, So I go to the phone like, I'm like, who

who is that? So it's some sixties seven year old man. Right, So now we're we're in there talking about men and how women are being treated out in the world and on this app right, and here we have a prime example of how men feel away and then they then started abusing. It could be a random woman, or it could be the woman in your life. Because you're feeling away. So my friend was like, you know, why did you

come in here like that? He was like, well, you know, I'm I'm hurt and I just lost two wives recently. So he lost his ex wife and his uh, his current wife right in the last couple of months. So now you're hurting, so you turn around and come on the internet to hurt a random person. And all I could think was that these two women are gone. It's really rare for men to outlive wives, right, I feel like because they usually say married women live longer. I mean,

excuse me, single women live longer. Married women actually die earlier, but they um. But there's what is married men live longer, right, So he's married. He probably stressed these two women out their whole fucking marriages, Like the who their whole lives. He probably stressed them out because they're this random ass person stressing me out on the fucking internet. So that's toxic. Toxic, It is toxic, and I think that people like I said, they're not going to get help, right, So guess who

they unload on? People like me and you and and the people that are listening in that area app conversation yea or or people that I love them, right, because the usually the closer, the closer, um you are, um to the person, that's the person that you tend to unload under on. So you know, it's it's really sad and these people like he needs to go and get some some help. He do. He's lost two women in his life, two women that's that he has spent his time,

his life, he's built with in his life. Um, and he's not okay, right and so and that's a prime example and that and that's the result of it what he did. So, Um, it's it's very it's serious, it's serious. But we don't go get help. We don't. We think we can cure ourselves. We think we're the curer. We are the cure of our own soul. Right, And I really do believe in doctors, medical doctors, and I believe that we need to We need to do it for ourselves and our freedom, right and our kids. Yeah, yeah,

this is deep stuff. Y'all. Listen, we're gonna take a break right quick. You'll be right back. We'll be right back. Oh, Taylor, can you share a story for our SIMP series? Boy, there's no real easy way to say this, So I don't know if a j told you about Dumb Bitch and Simp series, but it's the time you get to share a story of where a woman has tried to play you or tried to like do something. He got one. Look at his face. He got one. He got made

it Taylors. He got to this position. Um. I think the one that I could think of off handis that I went, I mean, it's okay. I went out with a young lady and she said that she wasn't comfortable going out by herself. Um, so she invited her girlfriend with with with her us, and I agreed to it, so you know I agree, So it's you know, it's fair. So she brought her girlfriend out. I didn't know her girlfriend was gonna sit at the table with us. Her her friend ordered food for her friend didn't pay. I

pay for everybody I paid. I let the bill sit there. I let the bill sit there for about thirty minutes, and I'm in my head and I'm like, I'm gonna see how long this bill is gonna sit here before the friend offered to pay. See the guy that I am today, I wish I was back then because I would have called the way and I would have said, hey, can I have switched checks please? I'm paying for this young lady. And she said, but I wasn't bold enough then. I was. I'm still a nice guy. But I was

overly nice then. But I paid for it all, and uh, it was a big turn off. I never went out with her again. She's like, oh, let's meet up for coffee. Now I'm not interested. So if I alright, maybe not on the first obviously, like when I'm just getting to know a guy, I wouldn't necessarily invite my friends along to run up the check. But after if we're dating. And I asked him, my best friend come and as she said, yes, I expect you to pay for her tamp too. Yeah, Oh is that bad? Is that bad?

I think I think that who that's that's a that's a I think that the expectations have to be talked about. I really do. I think I changed my name the toxic Tammy, you know. I think I think that if he if he, if he offers great, I think if you can't, you can't invite your girlfriend and let's see and and here's the thing. Before those things transpired, he

should know who you are. He should know that, Hey, if you invite your girlfriend, you're paying for me and my girlfriend, right, So he wouldn't even accept the in fight. He wouldn't even go down that path. So I think that you just have to find a person that you have that talk with and if they agree to it, then cool, like no hard feelings. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm not saying you're toxic. Um, but I think that, uh, I think that like somebody that's

not used to that. Um, it could be like whoa, she's just trying to get over, right, but but but but but but it wouldn't be you trying to get over because y'all have a relationship. Right, it's more than just the initial date. Um. But I don't know, because I'm gonna be honest with you, I might feel some kind of way for your friend, your friends trying to get a free ride. Nah nah, night, that's the thing some like night. It's just something because my friend had

a piece of sam and now she got a fun. Right. But but girls, she can help you something. Don't don't get it twisted twisted. Your friend might like that guy that's the provider. That's that's why she wanted to. That's why. Yeah, they might be like, you know what I like and then let me let this exactly my friends girl by bit you one of my friends tell my girl right, not mean? Okay, So you know that's that's all the pens, right, it all depends. Yeah, all right, Taylor, this is great. Okay, Yeah,

this is amazing. I need to get back with you and like I need to iron out some ship. Yeah. Yeah, I think a lot of things that I did share today I am better then. Like a lot of that stuff is like old stuff, Like I wouldn't pick a fight the fun no more, Like that's just too much. It takes too much energy to come up with a reason to get mad about something, honestly. But that's probably the only thing I don't do anymore out of all the things. So, but but I got a question for you,

But do you know do you do? You think you do it subconsciously? Though you think? Do you think that fights happen and yeah, and then it results in good sex. But you didn't purposely pick it. But maybe subconsciously you created it. Mm hmmm. I don't know. That's very possible. I haven't even thought about that. I know that I don't like, come up with some ship to start so we can have good sex. I don't do that anymore. Like now, if it happens, yeah, I don't do that anymore.

It's just a it takes too much time. Okay, time is money at this point. So all right, Taylor, listen, plug all your ship, plug your social plug. Where can listeners find you if they want to? You know, partake and said, uh toxic relationship therapy. Yeah, so I'm on all over social media platforms Facebook, um, I G Twitter, UM. I also have a podcast you can listen to. Um tailor made speaks dot com. It's my website. You can

find me there. Um. And on the I G. I think I'm gonna change that real to some uh non uh toxic women. I want. I want to get some good women out there, and I be the toxic person off for once. So I think I'm gonna I'm gonna change the kind of flow with that because my reals be portraying toxic women. Let me find out your Tyler Perry on goddamn Instagram tylitary love for trade of toxic Black women. Y'all, oh man, listen, we really enjoyed you for pulling up. I enjoyed you all. Appreciate you. Thank

you all so much. Thank you, y'all listen, hold on, don't hang up yet, Taylor. Listen, guys, and you enjoyed this episode. If you enjoyed this episode, guys, please tune in every Thursday on an I Heart Radio Apple wherever the fun you get your podcast at. This is your co host AJ Holiday to point Oh. Y'all can follow me on Instagram. Y'all follow us on We Talked Back podcast on Instagram at as well, and we talked Back p O d Onto Winter. What's up, Tam. Y'all follow

me on Instagram official Tam bam Um. Send your dumb bing stories to us and also send your ask a Black Friend questions. We really appreciate that. I love you guys. Thank you all for tuning in once again. And I remember to speak now and never hold your peace. Dan