EP. 78 " Selfish Self Care"

not enough to the rest of the weekend. I just chilled in the house after work. It was raining. It seems like it's raining every day. Is this see Attle? Is this Seattle or something? I don't know. We need some rain, grow up and hottest hell outside, cool it down every day. I like when it rains, especially if I ain't got shipped to do. Yeah, that's because you got on a week It's like me got real hair out right now? Is stupid that I'll be in the rain,

Like I'm Brazilian? Like who cares about getting wet? It's a black girl problem. What about your weekend? What you do now? I do much. I just hung out in the city, some dinner and kicking it, some Netflix and chilling a little bit. That's about it. You got fucked, so you got fun. Pardon me, that means you got fun. That's neck Netflix and drill. Okay, I said Netflix and chill. Okay. Yeah, wink wink, everybody, just chill, No do much, Just hang out around the city one day. Oh yeah, my birthday

is on Saturday, y'all. So when you hear this in a cup of days, it's my birthday, y'all come to my page and tell me happy birthday. And y'all can send me some money too, if y'all want to to my cash at should? I I'm scared because you know, I put my cash up out there. Somebody might hack my ship and still all my money, ain't it? People already got your cash app? Damn there it's okay, Yeah, well it's money signed TAM's vanity T A M S v A N I T Y Send a bitch a

couple of dollars for a birthday. Don't play with her. It's cancer season, y'all, cry baby aass season. Do nobody got on time for that ship. Whatever. I'll cry and drink at the same time this weekend. Fuck it shame, I ain't got no. I'm going to Atlanta hang out with my best friend for I think it's birthday. Best this weekend. I might see yall out there. This bitch ain't coming y'all. All right, we'll see. We'll see if you pull up. So what you guys for stupid internet news?

You see any uh, any special, any interesting topics out there? I did, I did see um. A woman posted uh that her husband had threatened to divorce her and she didn't get her physical body in shape, and she shows a video of her losing weight to save her marriage. And there were a lot of people who were like, ah, you should divorce him, get in shape, and then leave that nigger. What's your thoughts? No, we already know a man of visual Okay, so if you just look like

a totally different person from who he married, it's understandable. Now. It depends on how he came at her with the ship. At least he talked to her about it. At least he didn't just immediately got the damn relationship as soon as his bitch starting a little chunky, and she had a baby, right, Yeah, she had kids after she let

herself go. Yeah, a lot of things take place, you know, less time for yourself, having to take care of everybody else in the household, and yeah, and then you know, having to try and find time to work out a little bit. But we already know, like the diet is made, Like mainly it's the eating. If you don't have time to go to the gym, you got time to not eat fun up right? I agree? Um, yeah, I feel the same way. People were like really mad at him,

but I agree with him. Like if I'm with someone, if you don't care about your body, I don't think we're compatible. Yeah, I gotta love yourself. Yeah, you gotta love yourself more than you love me. I want you to love yourself, and that means keeping yourself because I want you to be here a long time, you know, So if you don't care about being here a long time, then we can't be together. And a lot of things comes with that extra weight. You know, you might get

a little lazy. You probably ain't trying to fuck. You probably can't stretch, get stretched out as much as you used to. Like all types of things come with weight gain um, and I mean I don't know men of visual that's what I do know. So if you love your husband, you'll get it together. It's not it shouldn't always be like, oh men got to accept this about women.

That's not fair. And that's how we mean. Yeah, if he married you fat, then I'd be like, nigga, I was fat when we met, exactly, just like I give my disclosure to men all the time that I wear. We've all the time. So one year in the relationship, don't be coming at me about this. Goddamn here. I gave you the disclosure and even wait, should I gotta I gotta fat max. Okay, once I hit it, I'll start coming down from it. But don't you say a motherfucker word to me, because I can give you the

same body when I met your ass. So apparently Jocelyn Savage wants to marry R Kelly or she's engaged R Kelly. He just got since he ain't even got no wealth anymore, right like he got a debt of like a million dollar day. You gotta have some money somewhere. You gotta have some money somewhere. I don't know, do you Why would you be engaged to nigga who's fifty and got thirty years in prison. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. I

don't get it. Is it cloud chasing? Make it makes sense? Possibly, girl, if you don't get your stupid ass out of him. So before that much love in the world, right, so they're saying before centisen Uh, Savage tried to convince the judge that Kelly didn't deserve such a heart heart sentencing. Um. She pleaded that she was not a victim and that Kelly was an amazing person. Um. She also referred to

herself as his wife. She goes on to say, my relationship with Robert is amazing, she wrote, He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. We have a very special connection and are deeply in love. I still support Robert to this day because I love him and will always be there to support him. Um. She says, Robert is not the monster that the government has described him as. Now.

One thing, I don't know if everybody looked at the charges that um Rob Robert Kelly, the r Kelly got one of the charges is this It is called the Man Act. This the Man Act. Let me see, I just want to be sure, Um, but it to me, Yes, it's the Man Act m A N N Act, And y'all listen. This is the White Slave Traffic Act, also called the Man Act, is the United States federal law passed June and is named after Congressman James Robert Man of Illinois. So this is for white men who were

trafficking slaves. That's just a little how in the hell did uh gets Laye Maxwell not get that type of charge? But you give a black man Robert Kelly, like a slave trafficking charge, that is really weird that we would be seeing that charge put on anybody in two right, but not girl. Yeah, Like, I don't know that that's that's a real treacherous. Uh, I don't know. I don't know if I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I gotta go back, I gotta go look at what

all he was convicted of. I know that was one of the charges and then like regular like sex trafficking and stuff like that. But that's real racial to me for some reason. And yeah, yeah, um, what else are you got going on? This? Did you see this damn dude repossessing his baby mama bumper? Because she put his ass out. M M, I don't understand. That made me think of Kevin Hart when he was talking about how his daddy would be mad and take all the lights

off to Christie's tree. He was like, give me the state, put it in my hand, beach taking the food with me. Like your kids still has to ride in that car, sir. This goes to show you that if a man can't get pussy from a woman, he doesn't see the value in doing anything for her after that point. Like if we ain't sucking no more, don't see the value and paying child support. I don't see the value in coming to get my damn kid, bitch. I don't see the

value in having this bumper on your car. What the hell? I had a nigga canceled. He's supposed to take me to dinner for my birthday and I didn't give him none. The night before I didn't even see him, I didn't hang out with him by and he said he wasn't taking me to dinner. He patties out, boy, fuck you in that movie seafood Dinner, use a little steak steak dinner. This is the more steak out there nigga, right, then

you're gonna try to funk on me next week. But you didn't come through for my birthday, Like everybody knows you don't play with women about their damn birthday. Nigger right, Yeah that's a daddy, Doug, and I'm celibate, So no, there's no pussy for you, sir. Sending a little bit of this what you think about Academics and how he was coming at Meek Mills. I know you saw that ship me Mills and the baby and um. He also put up this old video from with Kanye Um holding

a bowl of food for some designer feeding him. Yeah, I didn't get to see that. What was that about? So Academics took to his YouTube channel and was saying how he finds it funny that UM certain rappers tend to uh make clowns of themselves basically to entertain white billionaires. So he was talking about a video with UM Meek Mills bunny hopping after losing a tennis match with Mark Rubin. He was hopping and Mark Mark Rubin was like behind the UM camera saying ship like yeah hot hot, telling

why you hopping Meek? Like because you lost tennis? Like hopping in and and just like some ship you see a real nigga doing. That's all, you know what I'm saying, Like niggas are not allowed to have fun and be lightheart it for some reason. If you lighthearder than having a good time, you you selling now that you playing yourself. That's not fair, Like it's like it was just having fun.

But what about Kanye holding this man's ribs and French fries in the back of a sprinter van and Kim k is recording it and he's holding this man's plate while a man eats out of it. It's some designer we think about that. I mean, it's not that deep. People be reading too much into it. I think, like, why was he holding it? He asked him to hold, Like Kanye n look happy in the face on the video. I'll send it to you so you can see what I'm talking about. But he didn't look happy in the face.

But metaphorically, maybe it's like, yeah, I'm a had these motherfucker's eating out my hands type ship. I don't know because this was sto. We know that man Kanye d and blew up since then even more the man was he eating with his mouth just mouth to plate? Or was he putting picking it up with his hand. Nigger, This is me in front of you, dam I'm holding no nigga, you got the full work, like you're using my hands as a table basically. So maybe he lost

a bed or something like that. I don't know. But why your wife recording that. I know from that point she don't love him. That's probably that's probably was just fun and games like they were just playing. It was probably just a good time. It wasn't nothing. I don't know about that. And then um, I think we read too much in the ship a lot of times. I don't know. Academic is probably trying to get the heat off of him, because you know, they stay saying he's

a goddamn people. Yeah, I don't know. Even the videos they brought up of him were from a long time ago. He would have been twenty years old talking to young seventeen year old girls and stuff like that. So I don't know. People people bring shut up, but they don't look at the time difference like Okay, now I'm thirty, but I was twenty then. Not defending academics because he really gets on my nerve and I do want somebody

to smack the sh out of him. But yeah, uh so look and Raleigh, North Carolina, some protesters have pulled up on two different um old folks home looking for Cain. Caroline Bryant Donham, this is the woman who accused Emmett Till of looking at her basically and what they was gonna go do, beat her up or something like, I don't know what they was gonna run up in there

and do. Yeah, so this woman is eighty something years old. Now, you know, I would prefer for them to run up on the men that were acquitted of actually murdering him, you know, because they can't be recharged. Somebody got to so be alive. Right, But oh, here's the thing. This, this is the kicker. What happened was recently, um this happened after unserved warrant for her arrest, dated back to August was was discovered in the stashed uh box in

the basement of the Mississippi court House last month. Yeah so somebody here her warranty and it never got served exactly. Well, if I just feel like, if Bill Cosby can go to jail, so can this bitch. Absolutely absolutely absolutely, But I don't know. Running up in the old folks home. What ch'all was gonna do when y'all got there, like catch a charge? Catch a charge. That's all I'm stupid niggas was gonna do is catch a charge. Y'all didn't

play that out, because what was the point? What you're gonna jump on that old last lady like, y'all not going in there to do that, like relax, stupid, come up with come up with the plan. I mean, I understand why y'all upset, but playing that ship out a little better than that, that was worthless. So that's our stupid internet news for the day. Child. Yeah, y'all, we're gonna take a break. We'll be right back. Okay, guys,

we're back. And I had this situation and I wanted to get your your guy's opinion and you a j on it. So I was going out with this guy and any time I didn't do anything that he wanted to do, he said that I was selfish, and I felt like I was practicing self care by doing the things that I wanted to do for myself. So it made me consider, like, what's the difference between selfish and self care? And is there a difference? Well, what do

you think, what do you think? Yeah, there's you know, there's definitely a difference between being selfish, um and practicing self care. I think that one of the major differences is you practicing self care doesn't affect anyone else. Okay, When you're being selfish towards somebody, it usually causes, like people some type of duress somehow. Right, So you telling him no because it's better for your mental health, because no, a complete statement the fuck Like, that's not you being selfish,

not to me anyway. But let's let's look it up right quick. Hold on. So if I don't want to drive to your house in the middle of night in a thunderstorm because I'm scared of driving the rain, that's not selfish, right of course. Not the I hate when people always ask me or I called you why you an answer? You don't know what I was in the middle of doing. That's self care. Okay, I'm driving, Okay, I'll respond when I get stationary. I might even saw

your message. That's not me being selfish though, right, Okay, So being like I said, it says, being selfish means that there's a desire to take from others, often to their detriment. However, self care is about replenishing your resources without depleting someone else's. Self care is a means of restoring your own energy, which promotes healthy physical and emotional well being. Okay. In essence, self care is about fulfilling yourself.

Um excuse me. An essence, self care is about filling yourself up so you could be the best spouse, parent, friend, employee, Boston person that you could beat. Selfishness, on the other hand, reflects the me first attitude determining, um, just how much you can get for yourself, often at the expense of others. So okay, so all right. Sometimes based on that definition, sometimes I can't be selfish, and then other times it's self care. But I don't think me not wanting to

drive to your house in a thunderstorm it's selfish. But then I was like, you drive over here, you're not scared? Did he come? M hmm? Look, somebody got a sacrifice. But if I'm always the one sacrifice and you're selfish, like if I'm the one that's always making a sacrifice to make a relationship or whatever situation ship work, you're the selfish one, not me. And then one time I tell you know, it's a problem like that. Yeah, that telling you telling somebody they're selfish is almost a form

of manipulation. Mm hmm, big big time. Like, um, people might consider me selfish. But the thing, here's the thing about me is that I don't fucking disturb people's peace. But a motherfucker do not mind disturbing mind, Like, so I don't go out of my way, like let me say, let me, let me rephrase this, so I don't sound I don't require stuff out of people because I don't

want anybody requiring ship for me. I swear to God, like it could be a little simple things like I have friends who I know like their love languages is like acts of service all the time, and they don't mind asking you to do ship. I never asked these people to do ship for me, So why are you always calling me to ask you to ask me to do something for you? That's because that's their that's their love language. But what do they do They speak to yours? Like what is yours? Um? I like, I like acts

of services too, but I like people to offer. I'm not going to be calling you asking you to do anything. Do you see the difference. I like people to offer their services. Um, I like gifts like stuff like that. I mean, I'm not expecting that out of a homegirl or a family member. But yeah, yeah, so yeah like gifts too. But I'm I tend to uh speak to people's I don't speak to other people's love love languages properly. I speak to them in my love language, like I

try to write, I like gifts. So then I'm like, oh, I saw this thing. I'll give you this thing. But they don't work for everybody, you know, Like, girl, I don't give a funk about that book. Have you ever written in that Gratitude book ever? Right here? To this the productivity planner right here? Look look at there empty I even wrote my name in there yet. Bit I'm gonna use this book because you know, what I do

realize is that I need to write more. I need to write down my plans, write down my goals like I'd be literally even just putting them in the phone. And to me, it's not good enough. I feel like you got to write it down to really manifest this stuff. That's not actually the one I was talking about. What the other one I brought your Gratitude book? Did? I did write in that book I have. That's why it's not in here. See this is the junk low area. This is the junk area. Okay, I sorry, my friend

I ship. I realized it. But yeah, I don't like being inconvenience. You know, when I wake up in the morning, like i'd be having like a plan for my day, like I already know what I want to do today, and if I get like a call or a message and somebody like through, even if it's something I already have plan to do for somebody, like I already got my ship I'm doing for today. So I feel like like people could just throw a monkey wrenching your whole ship,

and I automatically get frustrated. You know, I might even tell them, Yeah, but deep out aside, I don't want to do ship for them, because why don't you tell me about this? You know, I don't know in advanced I hate feeling like I hate feeling like rushed or all of a sudden this is something that has to be done today. I don't like that feeling, so I don't. I don't do that to people because I don't like

the feeling, you know, Yeah, so I will. I will do that to people but that's because in the if the shoe was on the other foot, I'm probably gonna come running, even if I don't want to. I am you know, so when I need I will ask only of people that I know. I would do the same four though not just random motherfucker's. Like I got a message in my Facebook messenger from somebody I've known for my almost my whole life. I've known them a long time, but I wouldn't consider them for in her family. I

just known them. In the mess I didn't open the message, but the beginning said, hey, boo, I'm stuck at look like I said, I'm stuck at working so ship like that. I was like, I'm not opening that. I'm not fucking opening that message because it looked like you're about to ask me for some ship I ain't got. I got it. That's funny and saf see now, look you ain't even giving them the opportunity to funk with your damn date. That's different. But no, my mom be calling me selfish sometimes.

Now my mom would do anything for anybody, but she'll talk ship while doing it. Well that you too, no, no, no hold on, but why not do why? But guess what that's probably because I told you yes and I didn't want to write she she won't talk to the person. She would like, you know, call me to talk to about it while she doing it. But I'm like, why not just say no and then there's nothing to talk about? It's bothering the same thing you do that if I tell somebody yes, I'm gonna do it. Like, what, give

me an example? Um, so you used to have that so a J is like a really selfless person, y'all. But she had a homeless woman living with her. That is different, and you would complain about all the ship she hit. Okay, imagine somebody living with you for fourteen months and like, of course, I'm I didn't complain about it initially. It's just like once you start that, you can't use that as an example. It's a great example. That is not you didn't have to You didn't have

to have that woman living in your house. You know that was so I love that about you though, that's one of the girls Like I admire that about you. But you complain about every A lot of stuff she's doing in there that's sucking, driving me nuhing. Okay, I don't think that's a good example, because somebody being in your fucking space, whether you invited them there or not, I feel like, bitch, bye bye, my damn rules, so you can stay here. The things I was I was comin,

ain't it about? Because I was trying to I needed her to help me help her? Do you see what I'm saying? So that's not the same thing. I don't think I don't think it is. I mean like somebody saying, hey, could you give me a ride to such and such and you don't feel like doing it, and then the whole time you talking shit about having to do it because you said yes? Why not say no if it's gonna bother your damn spirit that bad? You know what I'm saying. Initially, when I moved around my house, it

was not a problem. It wasn't a problem until now I get to know this person and I see, like, this is an elderly person who possibly has like mental health issues on top of that. But as a human, which which why I don't think I'm fucking human, but as a good person or I feel like that's what you're supposed to do in this life. You're supposed to help people, especially old people. It's just not fair, like you'r a baby twice essentially, I agree, But that was

wild though. You took like she literally took this woman in off the corner of the street. She was actually at Ghols Gym. She had a silver Sneaker membership. She was still homeless. Yeah, and if I got an empty room, why would I not let her live there? She was thirty. That's so I've been trying to tell your motherfucker's I'm God, But y'all don't be believing me. I don't think you call They just call you a hope a hotel, the

Hope Step. How about that? That was dope. I don't even think, like, as much as I'd love to help people, I don't know if I would have been able to do that. So kudos to you for that. But you used to complain every morning. We thank God for the morning, and then we complained about that beach. Yeah. I think she passed away too, So I don't know. Yeah, I think she passed away last year, maybe around this time last year, I really and I've been trying to look

for her. But you know, she was homeless. Maybe they don't. They didn't have the proper paperwork to document her. I don't know, but I haven't been able to find here. I don't call every damn hospital in Miami um and Margate area for a lot of del area too. Well, you did your due diligence for her, and you did the best she could to help someone when you would gain nothing. Right so that now this, now here's the example.

I was selfish, I mean selfless for allowing her to live with me, And then she was selfish when she got up in there. You know what I'm saying. She was like and me being able to talk shit to you about what was going on was fucking self care? Bit Like, what are we talking about? I talked ship for self care? Okay with anybody who ever gonna listen, I'm gonna talk shit every morning. Let me tell you this bitch put her mop head in my washing mashame.

I remember that crazy look. She used to be trying to help me, But I swear to god, she got sucked up so many of my clothes sucked up soon, like she would bleach everything she get her hands on, like this is color? Why would you want? Who told you to wash my ship? And see that's where I would be selfish, because as soon as you bleach one item of my motherfucking clothes. I love my clue, she'd be back in front of goals right there. But you

gotta go. Is that self care? It would have been self care if I had put her out right yep, yeah, because took her in for a long time. She was driving me nuts. I'm just trying to figure out what was you taking silver sneakers classes? Like, how did y'all even she went? That's when she took her showers at and stuff. She lived, um, you know, at different organizations around the city. But she would you know, spend all day at the gym essentially yep. So look, I gotta list. Um.

This is a list examples of selfless versus self care. Right, So, self care getting adequate nightly rest. Selfish is sleeping excessively to avoid responsibility responsibilities. Self care is enjoying a break from work to fuel up with healthy foods. Selfish is taken an unauthorized extended lunch on company time. How many y'all bitches is out there? Self self care creating and enforcing healthy boundaries, which is what you were doing with the guys ham so fuck him. Um. Selfish is saying

no to every request for help without a reason. Um self care, making time for relaxation and meditation. Selfish is isolating and ignoring your loved ones. Self care buying ingredients to cook your favorite recipe. Selfish is spending your family's savings on unnecessary items. Look, that last one brings me to some ship I just saw on on social media.

So it's a story where this lady wrote into this um this radio station and she said that you know, she makes substantially, substantially more money than her husband, right, and he but he wants to buy himself arrange rover off of their collective salaries, and she was asking if he should allow her. I feel it's selfish for him to even ask her or even think he can go

buy a rain drover. Why she makes more money than him, that's But if it was the other if it was the other way around and she wanted to rage, wherever, would you feel the same way? No, Look, no, hell no, he needs to get his fucking money up. Well, I agree, but when you get into that marriage, what's good for the goose is good for the gain or whatever the

funk this? They lie there, damn lie, because if I want, if I'm with a man and he makes tip, all right, So I'm gonna make my own money, right, and I drive a range Rover now off of my own time. But if I was in a situation where I was with a man and he made more than me than I want to fucking wagon. But I already got a range Rover, right? But do you think that more often the women is probably taking his pockets into consideration, especially

this your husband. This ain't your sugar dady. It's your husband. He makes more money than you women, oftentimes due to finances, unless it's like somebody like who owns a big ass company and he has people doing that type of ship. But if this is you guys have been making money together, right, I feel like a wife. It's not going to get some ship that the family can't afford to do, you know what I'm saying. So you want to go out and get a range Rover to look like? What for?

Who you need to get the type of car you can afford. When my last boyfriend, this is in my twenties, and I mean we didn't have a lot, neither one of us. He was military and he wasn't high ranking, and I didn't we just moved to Florida, and I was pretty much unemployed, so the money was scarce, and then we would have his two kids for the summer, so we had to make just his military salary stretch. Right, So he wants to go out and get this got down.

It was the not the year that year. I think it was like two thousand ten or something like that. Up twelve. He wanted to get a two thousand thirteen uh Jeep Sahara, which I love that truck, right, but I just felt like it was outside of what our money, which was his money at the time, could afford, could afford, and I was so against it. But his and I had a conversation with his mom and she just told me to let him be a man and let him do what he's gonna do. And then we struggled because

of that. Are like we struggled because that car payment was outside of our uh our finances, which is its finances at the time, because I wasn't working. And then he was like, go get a job at Walmart. Nick I got a degree, Like, I was like, you're not gonna reduce me to the Walmart, which I don't go

get it because not no shade to listen. No shade to people who work at Walmart, because I don't want to make it seem like that's beneath me or anything, because I have worked at Walmart before, but at that current stage of my life, I just didn't feel like that that's what I needed to be doing. I can contribute in other ways when I find a job, but

I'm not just I'm gonna go work at Walmart. And he was, yeah, because now we're we're fucking broke because you got this expensive as truck that I asked you not to get. Was I wrong? Was I selfish to not go work at Walmart? You didn't He didn't need that vehicle? Did he need that? No? Yeah, he didn't need it. So he went and did what he wanted to do because really he wasn't taking you into consideration with the relationship. Honestly, he was like, I'm making the money.

That's my money, bitch. You need like in some ways somehow, I'm pretty sure it started to take care of this fucking truck. You wasn't being taken care of, right, So it's like, now, bit g job so you can figure it out for yourself. And the and the crazy part was all right. So I had just moved from Europe with him, and I made like when I was there, I was making a lot of money doing hair in the salon there, and obviously you have to build your like when you go to a new city, you gotta

start over. You know you're not gonna be like So when I was making all that money, everything was good because I could contribute so much more. But as soon as I moved with you, the only reason I'm leaving is because of you. I'm moving because you got stationed to a new place and I'm going with you. And now you're treating me like a poopa to ass bitch where gosh it? And I'm like, and that's why you see that a lot of times in relationships. It's almost like like are you my man or is it comp

a titian? You know what I'm saying, because you I left because of the relationship, right, my comfort zone, and now you have me in this vulnerable state of really not being able to take care of myself initially, and now you're trying to shoot on me and want me to go work at Walmart. Right. And that's why I don't suggest women to struggle with men, because that motherucker ain't looking back once he get a ship together, dog

ain't looking back. He ain't looking back. Look, man, try to get a nigger as whole as possible, because they don't like the women that saw them funked up. They don't like it. That's why they don't like their first baby mamas. Sometimes girl a lot of times sometimes looking at Kanye told y'all, Lebrian is avantasy. I don't think

they ever struggled though. Sorry, they don't count. They went straight from high school to rich exactly, like exactly, and they probably struggle with like other ship, you know, because I don't heard about little bron Ron and ship the sun right now acting out how daddy what what daddy really like? You know, because they say like a little white girl fetish. Oh yeah, they do say that. I love me some of Lebron and Savannah. I would love to be like their girlfriend, but them, both of them.

I love Savannah. I might love Savanna more like Lebron honestly, but yeah, look, look how I got off at a changing anyway, me and that nigga broke up in the story. Let's go to break bet you'll be right back, all right, y'all. So look, just to wrap up our a little brief conversation today, it is not uh selfish of you to practice self care. I want everybody, every woman especially to know that no. It's a complete statement. And if somebody tries to make you feel bad about saying no when

it's gonna car cause you like fucking stress, fuck them anguish. Yeah, like it's not it's not selfish. Now if you um, hold on, I sent you another post bitch with um this girl basically being a goddamn chatty patty essentially being a pick Misha saying, men, here are some top signs to let you know what you're being what you're being used by. Oh excuse me, here are some top signs to let you know you're being used by her. So she goes on to talk about like, you know, she

makes you pay for everything. What it's some men that won't let you go on your purse. You know, maybe she's never experienced that type of man, So I'll give her some paths. You know, maybe she's had to pay for some meal. Yeah, I have a lot of men who would be like offended when I try to pay for ship. Yes, I had a dude told me like,

you're trying to cut my balls off. I'm like, what, Like, I just don't want you because we see the guys out here get mad because they took a woman out and they're not getting pussy and I want to have an episode about that. But I need a man on, like we need a guy on, so we could talk about that. Um. But yeah, I've definitely paid for a meal just so on nigga wouldn't feel like or offered at least, so you don't feel like I owe you ship? Right, But and I don't mind paying for some food, like

what I'll pay for that? Yeah? So she she says, that's a red flag that a lot of dudes ignore when a woman makes them pay for everything. But something like let's say you you're dating someone who ain't got ship then, and men like women who aren't got ship. Women be like opposite a tractor, like they need someone to fix. I have a friend who only dates fix her upper ass. Niggas. Nah, she got a problem. What is it called when you're like, uh, savior a savior complex?

She just needs to be the savior all the time. The girl, why do you keep picking up these niggas off? The side of the road. I guess this type of people are necessary, you know what. You know what I'm saying, like to help those men get their shipped together. But um nah, no, no no, And you know we never talked about that. It was I think it was a podcast where the girl was saying, how men go get fat women when they ain't know the ship? M hmm,

what do you think about that? I don't know, because fat, but I know a lot of swaggy as fat girls just be smelling good, smell good, swaggy, beautiful and bag and still your nigga today right out of your part. And look, I could be honest and say, listen, I was with a nigga who only cheated with super fat

pretty bitches. And it got to the point to where what I would see like a cute, light skin, fat bitch, I would be side eying her because I know I knew, like deep down inside, like if my nigga saw this bitch, she's going to be trying to suck. And it bothered me that I knew this nigga's type was big gass, light skinned pretty bitches. And I mean like two fifty to seventy, like oh, beautiful suh. Yes, he called them

bitches love seats. They're gonna love seats type bitch. Yeah, just be looking nice there talking about obviously a big bitch stole her man, that's all it is, right, And she was intimidated. Anytime you're intimidated by some ship, you want to try to downplay it. They can seem like it ain't all that girl, you know the time, and she just stole your nigga, cooked him a good meal and funding ship out of right now, that pussy be extra with all of the sweat juice, Like, what that's

your id? You see? All right? So I have a dumb bitch story for y'all dumb bitch stories because we've all been a dumb bitch at least it was or twice. This actually was sent to me on Instagram. Can I say who sent it to me? I guess uh. One of our grand followers who cheap Poppy's sent us this. Okay, so I'm gonna read it to y'all. Uh, And it's

actually on spiritual word. Twelve years ago, this nigga took my car while I was at work to go pick up another bitch after dropping her off my tire blue, and he crashed my car into a light post on Central As and died in my car. I didn't find out the whole story. Tell a friend of a friend told me it was one of her clients who he went to go see. And it was confirmed when I went to get my car out of impound and found her bank card card in my total car with one

of his shoes that came off during impact. Damn, that's wow. Also found out he used my social Security number to foul taxes on the state of Georgia uh and got ten K back. And now every time my foul taxes, I have to have a pen number mailed to me for the rest of my life. But r I p to him more of the story. Don't be a dumb bitch, no matter how good the sex is, you might save a life. Also, karma is a bit. He didn't die

along though. Where he crashed was right next to a house that just so happened to be my co worker's house, and they saw my work vest in the car, and thinking he was an employee, he held his hand until he passed, waiting for e MT. This was twelve years ago. I healed as much as I could from this situation, but ever so often I get reminders of this situation, especially during tight tax season. Plus side is a grief.

I grief so bad during this time. I lost like thirty pounds that I was struggling to get rid of last part, and I'm done. He crashed on Citu Avenue in Crown Street. I was living on Addison Road in Crown. I was blowing his phone up because he didn't come get me. I remember getting home and hearing the ambulance and fire truck, but didn't find out that was him, because I didn't find out that was because of him until the next morning. The end shame hold on it says, Okay,

to be very clear, he was not my boyfriend. We were f WB friends with benefits. He thought my name was Shaunte up until a month before he passed. I eventually did tell him. I eventually did tell him my real name. So y'all can stop saying he died cheating, he died being disrespectful. But hold all, both of y'all was yes, And how was he following taxes in your name? And he don't even know your name? Bitch like he had her social right, But you have to put a name on the tax forms or if he be missing,

you knew that bitch was lying about her name. That's what he's like. I got something for this line, this big I'm about to get some money off of you in I'm be picking up my other holes with your car. That's a sad story. It is because the man did pass away. I mean, we cracking jokes and ship, but it is kind of sad, like he died young, you know, and cheating in her. Maybe he wasn't cheating whatever you call it. He was in the car, Yeah, to pick

up other women. See other women. That's cheating to me. M. Yeah, don't use my car, right, But stuff with men who don't got no car? What the hell? At least at least like the bare minimum. That is a dumb bit story. Yeah, but it books poor thing. She probably was having to walk to work. That's why her has lost some damn thirty pounds. M. She didn't have no car, no dick, dick in the dirt. Oh a J. Look, let me tell you you know what, We're gonna get another fucking review.

Talk about a J like a J is always saying ship. That's just they just make fun of every fucking thing. Everything is not a fucking joke. Like, first of all, I'm not like death isn't sad to me. I'm not afraid of dying. Like people need to get over that ship. And maybe it's just a different life cycle I'm in. But the funk like, you're gonna die. Everybody gonna get the funk u out of here at some point. You just don't know how or win, but you're gonna get the funk out of here. And we don't know what

it's like on the other side. The ship might be fucking lit. You know this, Just get your ship together while you're here. It's okay. It ain't no sending a bible about tripping off people dying, Like the hell why I got that dick? My one of my exits used to always tell me, now, you're always putting my dick in the dirt, Like when I would argue with him about whole ship he was doing. You're always putting my dick in the dirt. Yeah, because your dick stayed in

the dirt. Literally because yes, nasty ass, But I never heard nobody say dick in the dirt as it applies to being buried. That's that's one other persons. So this is so fucking stupid. This is wild. So one of my friends, she had this guy she used to funk with, and they used to work with each other for years and years, like off and on, you know, from teenage to adulthood. And this is when we were living in Colombia.

This is one of my best friends. But she was just telling me about this nigga dick something look some other uber uber meets type ship. So like I go over to her house while he's there. It's like, I don't know, was I was I supposed to fun, I don't know, but it's like the nigga was fine as hey, she don't has shown me pictures of this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful penis and he had like a nice little mole

on it, like just just beautiful dick dog. But it's like I don't really want to look after my friend like that, like not. I don't know why. I don't know why I didn't do anything. But anyway, we were trying to set it up to the dude, but it just didn't happen. But anyway, some years later, like he ended up dying of some type of cancer and I was like, yo, that fucking beautiful dick is in the dirt. Beautiful, big juicy hamburger is in the dirt. It's a lot

of beautiful dicks in the dirt. Girl, I know, y'all. Listen. We got a motherfucking live show coming up, y'all, first ever. So listen, Black Effect is having a live show. This is the first annual podcast festival in Brooklyn, New York, y'all, on the of August. Okay, we needna be on stage, yes, y'all. We have never done a live show before, so we're putting together something super fly's super fun. Yeah, so you'all can participate with us. It's gonna be lett I'm so

excited be back in New York. It's at the It's at the Brooklyn Mirrage. Okay, yep, so y'all pull up August twenty eight. You can buy your tickets now. Um, where are they gonna sell it? I guess everywhere? Look, yeah, go to Black Effect you can find out where to purchase your tickets and come see us. We love y'all. I can't wait to tell y'all. I love y'all in the person yep, it's Black Effect dot Com slash the fest p O D fest f E st Alright. Look, I'm I'm like, I'm on a diet so I can

look real fine when y'all see me. But I did just eat a piece of cake and one of my home girls left over here. I'm like, wait, is that cake? I know, but I wouldn't have ate it if it wasn't in my house. You know the fuck it's her fault. Yes, it's absolutely her fault. I don't have the self control is not bringing ship like that in here? Okay? Right? Did I'll be struggling, man, I like I'm much Cali. I'd be struggling with the sweets girl, but I haven't

had any. I did have some sweet ass onion ranged yesterday, That's about it. But I haven't had like some fucking cake or fresh baked good like I like fresh baked cookies and ship like that. No package ship, nothing from the middle of a grocery store. I'm gonna get all fresh baked bullshit. But I've been doing good my dad, Yeah, you'll be eating that football thing every time. I saw it on TV one day and I was like, my

co host like them things. I haven't had that because I've been back to Charlotte, I haven't had any and I can't find like a good Asian uh bakery down here, so all right, know m h. Anyway, y'all listen. You enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on the I Heart Radio app or wherever the fun you get your podcast that. This is your co host, AJ Holiday two point oh. Follow me on instagrams, y'all follow us on Twitter. Okay, as we talk back podcast, we're gonna

stry to start tweeting and ship like that more. Um, just so we can stay engaged with our listeners because we really appreciate you, guys. We love y'all. Follow me, y'all, It's official tam Bam on Instagram. Come tell me happy birthday on Saturday. Unto my post and post me on your page. Bitch, I love y'all. See y'all later. Oh, remember to speak now and never hold your piece my nigga. Bye by