Ep 65 "Baby Mama Culture"

It's my first cousin. Yeah, it was cool how she looked. She looked very pretty for her birthday. I have to wear the same coloring stuff. Why do you say that? You know how people when they have their birthday, if they want everybody were black, and they come in with like the most bright color or something like that. No, but it's weird that you said that because this is

a cousin that I've been harboring. Look what you mean, I've been harboring something, not resentment, but like some like side I should at her for the last ten years that she don't know about she's gonna know now, and it was something simulation like having to address like people. It was for her fucking wed and when she got married, Oh you told me. Yeah, I like why you said that.

Let's listen. I can feel the energy comp birl. I love her now, but you know it's still side I because now at this point it be it would be petty for me to address it. But maybe you should because you still feel away. I do because I just be feeling like I don't know. I'd be feeling like people be coming for me and I don't be coming for them. So you should talk to her about it,

calling tomorrow probably not. Yeah, that's okay, But anyway, that's my first cousin who asked me to be an usher in her wedding some years ago, and the ushers and the wedding was serving food to the immediate family. And this is my first cousin. I would never ask my first cousin to be an usher in my fucking wedding serving food to the rest of the family. Dressed in black and white, grown as woman. Two years ago, I was living no, I was living in Atlanta. I had

had to drive the Charleston for that wedding. Maybe you, uh, that is not a young cousin when the other ushers were people from the church. Oh you was the only usher. Yes, and look my best friend at the time. She ended up being one of the ushers. And she was pissed the whole time. She was dating my my cousin, which is my my cousin who had a birthday her brother. They was eating because she was serving food. She can't relax, like I want to go to your wedding and chill.

I don't want to be working at my family member's wedding. And this was a big, nice, elaborate wedding where you had like staff, like yeah, because maybe she needed somebody to do it, like girl, no, listen, this is the last thing I'm gonna say about this. At her bridle shower, my voice was completely gone, so I couldn't like, um, yeah, I couldn't talk for real like you would have just sound like nothing. But her maid of honor. She was introducing us to her maid of honor. Right, it's the

interesting she introduced my sister. She was like, yeah, this is my cousin Sam, and then this is Astley. This is how she introduced me to her maid of honor right, and the girl was like, oh, she's not in the wedding. She's not a bridesmaid or or um usher or anything. And I just had to sit there like I wanted to fight them, but I was not a fucking us because at that point I had told her within the same day that she'd asked me that I went't wasn't

comfortable with doing it. Yeah, like when I said yes initially, then I was like, I don't want to do that. So then I hit her back and I was like, I think i'd rather just, you know, just come and sit and enjoy your wedding. And then no, I didn't do it. You didn't do it. This is And then a couple of months later, here comes to Brattle Shower and so your friend is basically the spokesperson for the ship. Y'all probably I'm talking about but I renigged within fifteen minutes.

That was shape like, you're not an ussure anything. And that's why I still have yes and maybe a little bit just a dad. I was your weekend anyway about me being fucking petty. Ten years later, Um, I went to my best friend's wedding this weekend and it was so beautiful. I had so much fun. I caught the bouquet like, let me tell y'all, I odell Beckham and bitches like was like I came through like full sprint and called that ship and I did a speech and

everybody looked good. Like everybody looked good. It wasn't like no people looking ratchet at the wead that everything. Everybody looked so beautiful and the bride looked so beautiful and a groomsmen everybody. It was just such a beautiful affair and I had so much fun. I'm so happy for my best friend and her new husband. Y'all. Congratulations to the whites. I love you guys. So that was. She looked beautiful. It was a good time. So that's why.

And I got really drunk at the way and it was like it was like very classy affair, but it got ratchet you know at the reception. I've seen something videos like, yeah, it was not ratchet, like that girl stripping remember that. Oh you know, it didn't go there. It was sophistic ratchet, you know, combination, not no stripping and all that stuff. Yeah, So yeah, that was. It was a beautiful fair. And now I'm tired, I'm exhausted. It's over. Yeah, it's over. I wish I could do

it again this weekend. Know, that's how much fun I had. And it was like even people there that I didn't like, and I just was I loved them that day. It was just so much love and energy in the air that I was just like, I love y'all to ship. No nigger. Cardi B said, if we beat, we're gonna beat forever. There's so much good vibes. You just forgot any beef that you had, that right, So yeah, that was my weekend. I like weddings. I did catch the bouquet. When I went to d r Um last month, I

caught the bouquet tool. You know what many times that I caught the fucking bouquet at a wedding, that's at least the third time. So all you're saying is you're a linebacker. It means I can catch a bit the elbow and bitches. For years trying to catch that bouquet. That was my first time really actively pursuing the Okay, yeah you usually sit down, No, I stand up, but I'd just be like, like if it would have landed next to my feet, I would like somebody been to

get there kick it. But this time I was like give me that ship. Shay. What we got in stupid internet news? This week? Ah? This week? Oh what about that? The girl that killed that? That's not stupid and that's fucked up internet news. Yeah, you talked about Courtney Taylor. The yeah, the girl who murdered her boyfriend, um Christian Obe Selly. Yeah, a Nigerian American, uh murdered by his white girlfriend Selly, I'm boon Celly. Okay, Yeah, it's unfortunate,

and you know she still hasn't been charged. And now, okay, so he actually got murdered on the third, so last week's Sunday, So she did they did put it on like a seventy two hour baker's hole because she said she was going to kill herself. But then the pictures came out where she's kissing her dogs on the mouth, half dressed covered in blood in the fucking condo apartment. The fun Then I saw that she was like out

at a bar from where buying liquor. Because now she's out and they're saying she's uh, she hasn't been charged. The family is saying that they're being treated like they're harassing the police, like they're getting on their nerves or something like that, just trying to get answers on you know what's going to happen. So there the police department saying they started doing her investigation. She hasn't been charged. They're saying it was a domestic dispute where he supposedly

attacked her first. But did you see the video where her friends came out, well, their mutual friends came out and said that she lent yes towards him. So this man was in an abusive relationship and he stabbed him once in the chest. Originally they said it was like shoulders, and now they're staying he got stabbed in the chest and then passed away at the hospital. Are you for real? Took a knife and stared at five o'clock in the morning. He might have been sleeping. You don't even know, Like

this bitch is about to get away with murder. Rich white girl made her living on only fans. The irony of it is the ship that this man talked about black women. Now, so this is why black women not really it's not like we're saying that he deserved to die, but black women are not willing to march the streets

on this one. Um, because he he made a lot of hate speech against black and even if he was a kid at the time, right, because he was, the tweets were between like, um, so he would have been younger. But the company he keeps suggests he feel the same way. Exactly. Yeah, And if you didn't see the tweets, he was saying things that were like, basically black people suckl women specifically. And the weird thing is is that you talked about how black women always just tworking. You gotta fucking this

girl is essentially a porn star. What are we talking about? This is the black the white queen you ended up with. And once y'all gotta get sworking. Why do y'all be so mad at working? And you African like tworking is just the music make you do it. It's just in her blood. That ship that happens when they said nain for they for the nine in two thousand, that's stirring your soul. It's just you can't stop it. Your booty just started moving. Like why y'all hating? Why y'all mad

about it? You don't have to sexualize it, so much. It's dancing anyway, you know, rest in peace to that. You know, man, he did not have to die because of you know, I don't you know. I don't wish death on anybody. And I do hope his family gets justice. Because she out drinking, she don't seem remorseful, not at all, not at all. So it's real unfortun in it. Um. I mean, I feel like people are so spreading awareness. Um Lee merrit the attorney. Civil attorney picked up their

case to assist the family. He was the only motherfucker I saw following his nigga's Instagram page. I'm my god, damn bo. He's not his ambulance chasers. But now he's on the case helping the family. I hope they get justice. I really do hope they get justice. And I mean, we can look at it two different ways, you black women, Even if we're not in solidarity with him in this particular case, it does send a message to that community of people that they can do what the funk they

want to do to us, and nothing's gonna happen to me. So, whether he sucked the black people or not, he basically divested from the community. So why would he want the community that he divested from to now support him and his death. Well he doesn't, he can he on one ship. It's his family that his family that wants it. They got some donations, like they got about fifty dollars go fund me, so somebody's donating to the cause. And then you know, the family did say that, you know, we

don't support the things that he said. Some of those things we didn't agree with. But who did you hate? You hate your mama? That's that's where it starts. I promise, or internal like I always see, like these niggas so insecure to replicate themselves. Y'all got a ship on black women to try and get this offspring and look shit like you you don't think you have a chance of having a nice looking kid by yourself, like with a black woman? Is that what it is? Right? I don't

get it anyway? But less in peace, Christian? What else happened this week? Um? They on Black Lives Matter asked, you know how I feel about Black Lives Matter? Not the Black Lives Matter movement, but the Black Lives Matter nonprofit organization has always been some bullshit, you know what I'm saying? Like they had they did change their UM their mission statement on a website sometime the last year, the year be full last. Remember, Yeah, they changed it.

They changed it, but it's you know, the Internet is ink, not pencils, so that should is still in the Internet archives. You can still pull it up and see how they want to disrupt the Family Nucleus. This whole organization was built on the backs of dead black men and children

in America. So now y'all are here. Yeah, men and women and children, but mostly black men who probably wouldn't have a position in this organization if they weren't get your trans based on their mission statement that they have now removed from their website. But they have gotten like a ninety million dollars total in UM donations since they started in And they purchased US six point five million

dollar house in Malibu. You know, I looked up the median UM home value and it's like four million in that area anyway, so you have to live over there, right, So what they're seeing this house is for UM, they said, the home is for it's a safe house and a place to provide recording resources and dedicated space for black creatives to launch content online and in real life. Focused on influencer House basically with no influences but her healing justice,

urban agriculture, and food justice. I don't know. I don't think anybody did. They did one YouTube video in front of the house to the three um co founders of BLM. Right, that's it. You know, they got called out by Tamar Tamar, Rice mom Um and Mike Brown's dad called the gass out because y'all got all these donations, been called him out for the last couple of years. They y'all got all these donations, but they ever donated to these people's nonprofit. Right,

you know what I'm saying. So it's it's real nasty man. You gotta be careful. You'll stop giving them people y'a damn money. Yeah, and so many other organizations out here. Um, I feel like they were funded by the Democratic Party, but m and whoever else. But we won't go into the conspiracies. That's unfortunate because you know, that movement is so important, and yeah, the movement is just muddy it with all that, And it's so easy to make money off black shit. It's so easy to get donations off

black ship for real. Yeah, y'all my cash happy when signed teams I'm black, ship donate the fuck. I don't know. They better get this shipped together. The fans probably coming for their ass in a minute. Oh yeah. Or they've made it okay for them to do what they do, and I mean white people do it all the time.

Like people create nonprofits. You are supposed to be able to pay your sal your yourself salary salary out of your nonprofit r but and I mean buying property, Like what's the Their mission statement says nothing about real estate? Like y'all is that what y'all do? What this nonprofit? Is it for real estate development for the underprivileged or what?

So then when you also have a nonprofit, do you say, uh, this percentage is what we get or they have to break all of that in a set amount, because if it's a percentage of ninety millions, six million, don't seem like a lot out of it, doesn't It doesn't so um this says and last year's AP report, the foundation said it had committed one point seven million to official and unofficial BLM chapters and its expenses were eight point

four million, leaving around sixty million unexplained. They said their average donation was around thirty dollars, but declined to name prominent donors. So where the fund is the rest of the money coming in? Mm hmm, that's a lot. I don't know them to be missing. Yeah. So in happier news, Um Tianna and Iman with their babies. They did the Ebony magazine cover. I don't know if y'all saw that, but they seen it so good. They're such a beautiful family and it's extra fine. Rice, what the hell? But

who made him fine? Because was we looking at him prior to uh Tiana getting with him? Well, he was still very young when they got together. He was just he started he looked like a man man. Now before he was just looking like a little young Yeah, oh, nice looking young fellow. But now he looking like a grown as man. And they're such a beautiful family. They had the same baby twice, Yes they did. Um and the Curls are popularly one of my home girls in Atlanta.

Tie does their hair and their girls are just popping in these uh yes Ebony cover shout out to Tide. Yeah, so I just wanted to touch on that, y'all check that out Ebony magazine. They talk about family and fame, so Yeah, black love, y'all, marriage, family, all of that, which leads us to our main topic today. But we'll take a break, Y'all'll be right back. So, Tam, you know what I want to talk about Baby mama culture. Baby mama culture. Is that a thing? It's the thing,

all right? You know what think? So I want to hear what what do you mean? It's the thing, you know. I mean, it's in all groups of people, but it's a big thing in the black community. It's like normal. It is where it shouldn't be. It is because you see ads for that include a black mom and a baby, but the father is out of it. But that's because

they're trying. They say they're being inclusive because the large percentage of Black women don't have a man in a home, so they wanted to create ads that look like the

people that really exist. And that's the scary part. Yeah, But then you know people may look at it another way is you know black men who maybe in their kids lives, like you might be a mom that single as opposed to a single mom, right so there, Well, I don't know, so I guess like say, for instance, you got you were married and got divorced, you and your your kids dad have joined custody. Like y'all both taking care of kids. That's a mom, that single that's

not a single parent. Single parent means you have yes for the most part, which a lot of black women do. Um. But there are a lot of black men who do take care of their kids. May they be with the mom and not. Right, So I also know black men who are single parents. Me. We had one on last week, Chuck Ti. But um. So we watched Cam Newton um on a million dollars worth The Game podcast this week, and you know, he was talking about his upbringing, how he was raised by a three parent household, his mom,

his dad and his grandma and how um. You know, he was essentially talking about bad bitches, right, how um the difference between a bad bitch and a woman and a wife. Right. So, you know, I don't like sound bites. The show was I saw the ship on the shave room, so I was like, let me go see exactly what this nigga said. It was a small piece of a bigger conversation, that little piece, but I'm pretty sure the bad bitches got triggered out here. Now I want to

how do you consider yourself a bad bitch. I don't think I've ever really used the term for real, like being like, uh, probably just being facetious maybe like, but I don't just be like I'm a bad bitch, like posting it on my pictures and but just you know, playing around with my friends. I might be a you're a girl, I'm a bad bitch and whatever else, but I don't go around with that self proclaimed label as a bad bitch. And what is a bad bitch? Right?

What well he said, is someone who just looks good and has nothing else to offering. They don't have any other any of the other criteria that a man. Right. The irony of it is, though, your first child's mom. And this is not the knock cam Newton, because he didn't say nothing that was too crazy, right, right, not to knock the mom's either your first baby mama. They said she worked in DC as a stripper. She had a child when you met her, so she was a

baby mom already. He then had four children with her, but never married her, never married her, and then he then their relationship ended in twenty nineteen when he cheated on her with another bad bitch from Instagram, who was also a single mama, and you had a baby with

her somebody else. She didn't marry, right, So you're making all these single mothers and then you're sitting there talking about how your mother and father were together for thirty or six years, but you didn't marry nobody exactly, but you got with nothing but bad bitches. I'm confused. You went to the bad bitch hold decks Instagram and picked you another Babbage. I'm confused on what we're talking about. And he was basically saying how women, I guess bad

bitches don't know when to shut up? Okay, um what else he was he saying? Oh, he said something along the lines and don't know how to cook. Badbages don't know how to cook. That's like, I'm so sick trying to reduce women to bare feet, be a average, a woman whatever they consider it to. Just cooking. That's like the smallest, most simplest thing which can be outsourced. I can afford to pay you via somebody else cooking. What then are we talking about? Can you build a house

from here? Yes, niggai, the drain is clogged up. Can you take that ship out the bathtub? No? You call somebody to do it and I and I might call somebody to make it some neat. Exactly what are we talking about, like they want to reduce this is not we ain't your grandmama, and we ain't your mama. So stop trying to reduce black women today to those people who didn't have the options to do anything else. Right now,

I'm not saying that it is. I like when I have a man, I like cooking for me too, Like that's that's but don't make it seem like that's just my sole purpose in this relationship is to be able to cook your meal every night. Yeah, and what type of man are you expecting a woman to cooking meal every night that you don't plan on marrying. You ain't even bringing a sucking groceries like you just hitting a

bitch up, like we we what you're cooking. And she she just supposed to cater to you, because that's the word he used. He said, kid doesn't doesn't know how to cater to her man. So I feel like he was taking shots at his baby mama's because I would consider them bad bitches. So who are you talking about? Because you procreated with two bad bitches. And and here's the thing I hate. I hate that um that he trying to make minimize what a bad bitch can be,

because is Michelle Obama not a bad bitch? You know? Is women have a different definition of is you know, like all these women are all these very successful, very smart, they're still bad bitches to me, you know, like it doesn't have to be something that's do nothing pretty as bitch. And then you know, and that's that's what he's talking about. So is that what he gets from his kids mom's because Yilly even said he was like, you know, real

bad bitches don't even say ship like that. They just do you know what I'm saying, to just be out here shaking and moving. They don't. They're not self proclaimed bad bitches. But it could be that you his baby mom has probably never said they're bad bitches, but as on the outside looking in that maybe they may be examples of what bad bitches are, right and you chose

those bad bitches. It just depends on how you view a bad bitch, because I don't know, I think you can be a a bad bitch based on your looks, a bad bitch based on how you treat your community. A bad bitch on how educated you are. I know some bad bitches in the pool pit. Yeah, we got different we got different definitions. Like I just feel like anything women like we try to do somehow we get anything,

like y'all niggas need to manya business. I just need niggas in maya business and talk to each other and stop talking to us. We're stick of talking to y'all. Actually, don't even be talking to your niggas want we need to talk more. I think that's the problem. I feel like we talk enough to each other. But well, the real men, please stand up. We are missing something as

a community. And that's why so many single mothers, it's always so many single fathers, because men are interested in Black men as a collective, I believe, are not interested in being married. That's that's where that's where the problem is. You know what I'm saying, Like, y'all are why not? Why? What? What? Are? What?

What would marriage benefit them? At this point? They're getting the babies, they're getting the pussy they want, apparently, they're getting the cooked meals that they want to like, what else do they why would they need to be married to any of us? And and that's the thing. So you remember the movie Shot Town Shira and they stopped. They was like the whole movement was women need to stop sucking. That could be a real thing. Like if they just could get on one of core, we could

change the whole world. But it's always gonna be a bit more than one. It's always gonna be some bitches. Excuse me. There's always gonna be some women willing to give these guys that fucking discount. And that's the problem. Like, stop giving couchie coupons. Stop letting these niggas come through. It is not that hard. This is not that hard. You don't have to have a baby by every man you sleep with. Oh no, I'm not not the baby, but the couchie part, Like, can you save us a

baby daddy? Please? Could I have a baby daddy? No, I just I want a husband. I don't even want a baby daddy. I want to need the nut at this point. Yeah, I want a husband. I just I told you that bouquet. I'm playing out here this year. I feel like this year over. But no, it's still early in the game. It's on the April. We're still too Yeah, we just insured in the second quarter of the game. But yeah, Cam Newton, I mean he's back here in Charlotte. Is he with the second girl? I

don't think so. Maybe, I don't know. I ain't ate that deep. He's an interesting character. These days, you seem so much different. I mean he's grown, I will say growth seven father seven. He seems like he's a good day two of not two of the kids on his So he has five kids of his own and then two that he took in what was commendable. So these are good things. But Cali, y'all ain't cooking for Cam Newton. You'll just some bad bitches out here wasted his time apparently.

So let's talk about the baby mama culture and how that affects the community. All right, So what really is the baby mama culture? A strong woman who does it all by herself? Is that a strong woman? Just because you can have children by several men and then struggle to take care of them does not make you a Not everybody struggling to take care of a lot of them, but a lot of them are thriving and doing it well. Though, who wants to do that by themselves? I don't think

nobody intended to do it by themselves? What's so. You know, I know a woman she has a she's about forty now, but she has like a heart hospital on her own, and she went and adopted a baby because she didn't have a man and she was tied away, and so she wanted to be a mother and she had all the tools to be a mother, so she wanted to

do it by herself. And that's different because you do hear about older women, um, you know, even um getting donors, you know what I'm saying, to get a baby because they've come to the conclusion that they they're not going to find a man, but they still want a family, They still want something to care for, so they still want children. They don't have anybody to really have the baby with. Of course that that type of thing does happen, but I'm talking about like young black mothers. Uh even ship.

I had a home girl. I mean she had her first child when she was like thirty four. And this man like this is a woman who don't have any kids, right. I feel like, if you're a man and you don't want any more kids, stop fucking with women raw or you don't want any kids, like that's just what you have to do. Get on this new birth control about to come out for years, girl, they really about the fun the damn ecosystem up because men only be concerned

about not getting a bit pregnant. They ain't concerned about s c d s like that. So imagine how ratchet it's about to get if men knew that they can't get somebody pregnant. Everybody getting that raw dick, everybody but team me. I like one. I just I'm scared of the soul ties, not just the disease of the soul times that come with raw penis. Because I like you give me some wrong dick. We go together right now, Yes, immediately after you're my man? Where are you at? What

you're doing? You hunger? Where's the dick? Ain't even about you? That dick at well, that is a part of him. So that dick on the phone. Put the dick on the phone. Hey, baby, you get over there. Did he feed you? Are you sleep? Are you staying? Was he beating you too much? Stop beating my friend? Where's the dick? So that's why I don't do that, So I would be fine. You got a spiritually cleansed after these niggas

shot because everybody being them dicks m hm, sadness. But in the black community, we need to put more emphasis on marriage, family if we want to come up out of this thing. When like just having all these kids out here. Let's take future for instance. Yes, Future has the money to take kit these kids, but can he assist the mothers of these children to help raise like good human beings. Are you even there? Do you have

the time? Like that's why the both parents and the household is so important, you know what I'm saying, to cultivate your child's future, Like, you can't do that if you all over the place just dropping your seeds all over your seeds. I wish black men would stop saying that my seeds. That is so nasty. It's just nasty. Yeah, but seeds are like you know, you could buy a pack of seeds and misplace them ship and don't give a funk about them because they only calls a dollar.

Like you shouldn't be just dropping seeds anywhere, and you want they want to talk about legacy building. Legacy building that starts with having a firm, like solid foundation for the child, meaning like a two parent home. Hopefully even if you're not together, like y'all still real co parent, co parents, and yes, real co parent it that's not happening in a lot of homes, and that's not just Black homes. So I'm not we were listening. Are you

in other cultures? Are you another communities? Do you give a funk about other communities? I give a funk about the black community. I give a funk about the economic advancement of black people. And if we don't have strong families, we're gonna always be at the bottom of the totem pole. That's my concern. I don't care what other you know what, I agree, that is my main concern. But I'm just personal peace for everybody, not just Black people, for everyone

I am. I'm alright. I mean, I can't do nothing but be black first. But and that's what I'm concerned about. Because everybody else getting on through, we're behind. So my discussion I want to have the day is like how do we through family get ahead? Because this is an easy thing, like it's it's I feel like it's easy. I mean, you know, up until the nineties sixties, black people were married more than the white counterparts, you know what I'm saying. But it went from that to black

men not even being in the homes. Right, so we know all the different things that transpire. So how do we how do we grow from that time? How do we grow from m. Jim Crow? And how do we grow from the civil rights movement and all that ship? Because that's those things happen. Warren drugs, those things ripped men at homes. But we can say that, But then on the other part of it, we're black men leaving their homes? Were they leaving women with children even back then?

Why the government had to step in the first place? Perhaps you know what I'm saying, so that we could perpetuate old the government. The government is now in the baby Daddy and all the ship and where y'all nigga is staying Because my grandmother raised eleven children by herself, her her my granddaddy left, yes, and this is the early nine hundreds talk about my grandma was born. So what happened? I don't know, girl, I have no answers for this. I don't think nobody really has the answer.

You know, who has the answer to where sway At? Maybe got the motherfucking Kanye he can keep his family together either, like it's hard, clearly all right? So they say finances is the major reason why families break up. But we see that rich families fall apart. Two, But the kids are gonna still gonna be provided for and just Kim ain't gonna be just struggling and take care of Kanye kids by yourself. Yeah, but it's so different, right, right, They'll be provided for. But you think that man not

just about the money. It's also about the rearing of the child and creating a productive human being, a good citizen. So you think that men want to provide and when they can't, it's just easy year to just walk away and pretend like that those people don't exist, Yeah, and just push the guilt down in the bottom of other good and go on with Sometimes those same men didn't go make a baby with somebody else, or maybe go

with a woman who has children and help her. Yeah, I know I've seen that where a guy he only takes care of the kids of the one he would that's most men, yeah, and like the other ones is just out decide, out of mind. M I just feel like those type of men should be ostracized. Any women or men that's not taking care of their kids, like y'all should not even have friends, dog, Like, nobody should

sunk with y'all until y'all get your ship together. If you're just out here having kids, you're not taking care of you just sound ratchet ass girl. Remember I was not raising her kids. I remember I was dating this guy and I was liking him and he was cool, and he had entered like we were really vironment and I met his mother and everything, and she was making me like, what's the black rice? That are not uh Patians black? That black rice rice? But she was cooking

for me and everything. And then somebody was like, you know, he got his son. It's like what, No, he only has a daughter, and now he also has a son in Colombia. I'm like what. So like somebody said, you got his son in Colombia. He's like, oh about that? What I don't get to see him. I was like, Columbia is an hour and a half away from Charlotte. Go. He was like, man, me and his mama don't vibe like that. We don't get along. And she was just

too hard. When he gets eighteen, if you want to meet me, he can come find me and I'll tell him what happened. I was like, oh, yeah, that's a turn off. And that's just how when I lived him alone, right, yeah,

because you could be the third next. So I guess also women need to make better choices on the people when we fun went drive up like the Sahara Desert when he said, they like, I ain't gonna be able to do that, baby, Yeah, if you ain't, If you're not working with your kids, I'm not working with you. But get this, his father didn't funk with him either. He had a very successful father in New York, like an engineer, and they had no relationship, and he had

resentment for his dad. I'm like, you turned it out to be the same, nigga. So was his dad and mom together at some point? Yes, they were, but not most of his life though, because I think sometimes it happened some of these mama's, man, some of these mama's been side bitches. When I had stories like that's like, was your mama side bit and got pregnant for somebody husband? And now he don't sunk with you, like what happened?

What decisions did did mama making life? And you know, I feel like sometimes a lot of the way men handle women is stemming from their mama's You know what I'm saying is like, you've never seen your mama in a successful relationship. Your mama was a baby mama. Soe you out here just making strong black baby mamas because your mama struggled to take care of you. Dog, That's not what we're doing. Like, are you waiting for your son to then get older to take care of your mama?

I mean to take care of your baby mama, because I feel like all most men, like y'all, their whole goal in life is to grow up, get some money, body mama house. They never had body mama card, they never had can never afford take care of their mama because they never saw a man take care of her. Right. So if you if you're you have all these aspirations, um you know, to be successful so you can take care of your mama. But then you're having children that

you don't take care of. Are you waiting for your sons to now get older to take care of your baby mama? Is that what we're doing? And that's what that's what happens because I think at some point these niggas turned into the niggas that they don't that they never saw. Basically, so this man didn't raise you, you you end up turning into this nig anyway when you should take the I mean even if he wasn't around like the example would then be should be a positive example

of what a man should be. Like Your daddy wasn't there, right, so now you should make it your fucking business to be there. But instead sometimes they still turn up like these absent fathers. We gotta put more emphasis on family. Well, how what do you do? Turn off the TV, turn off their computer, trying to shield them from whatever everything else. So this is where I then agree with what Cam was saying about the bad bit ship, because you know we outside now this is what women be saying, like

were the savages now? But are we? Do we really want to be the savages? Or has uh um? The relationships between black men and women now cause us to be like be like men, be like men. I don't want to be like a grown ass man. I'll be saying I'm a grown ass man because I'll handle it if I have to, but I do not want me to. I would I would love to just exist within my feminine energy all day in my life. Yeah, so men, they say how black women were so masculine all because

we especially some of the music. I'll be listening to im, like whoa what the black girls? You like? Have you ever heard a kid the Man? Yes? I like her though, like I'll be listener when I'm working out because it does like give me a little like physical motivation in the gym. But some of the messages is very strong masculine and there what's the other one? Chameleonaire, chameleon? What's her name? With a little squeaky voice. I don't know

who you're talking about. She had a song if I was a rich man, you know what I'm talking about. But she basically talked about all the ship niggas be doing, Like if I was I would be shipping on these niggas. Like if she was a man, like why I can't do it? You can't. Women are so delicate, you know what I'm saying. So we'd be out here trying to be like men. You want to break down, bitch, Yeah, you people don't. Some people as like whole grown men out here and then have lost that and don't care.

I feel like my mama might be one of them for real. M hmm, I don't know. I don't know what my mama, her and her friends being there talking about all kind of my mom only even got no friends, girl barely. Why I don't know my mom and her friends in there at like she had like a little party a couple of wee kyears ago, Like they were just drinking coffee and eat damishes and ship and talking about that's like fun and listen old bit ship she had. I don't know if I should tell you all this secret.

I think she bought a vibrator. I thought my mama vibrator a couple of Christmases ago, and she gave it back to me recently. You know, she not give me that ship? Why vibrated cost me like eighty dollars. It was a good one, but now it's like she never used it now but now like the you know, because some of them like real soft, like the rubber, And now I was like sticky, having sat in the closet for how many years? No, is not about to give me a damn use vibrata, but take this back and

don't work like the new one I got. My mom always be like that ship pass sales. So how old are you when you start losing sexual urge? Because I feel like my mom and her friends are still with all the ships and they they and they missed sixties. Oh they still want to. Oh yeah, my mom made with that ship no more. I don't know. I hope I never lose my lab me neither. I'd be wanting fu Yeah, okay, let's be clear. Yeah, I hang up on y'all, go do it right now. But when I

don't have nobody to funk, I'm good. But if I start sucking, like, I want to have sex as much as possible. What you mean, don't have nobody like if I'm not like, if I'm celibate, not even celibate. You know, sometimes you just go through I don't want to, And maybe your mom is going through the rest of her life. I don't want to, Pat, but I'm pretty sure she's been going through that shift for about twenty years. Oh no, and she married. Let me stop talking to my dad,

mom because she listened to this episode. And let's take a breaking guitar, dumb bit story, dumb bitch stories, because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice. Okay, we got a interesting dumb bit story for you guys today, So I'm gonna read this for y'all. Let me try to read it better than a juck you. Hey, guys, I have a dumb, big bit story for you all. Short, sweet, and scary. I have been with my baby daddy since

two thousand twelve, and our child is now three. We're essentially We've essentially been together since high school and through college. He's a great provider and I know he loves our family. That's good, But I'm now having concerns about his sexuality. I know, and I say now loosely because really there's always been some concerns. We attended different colleges but in the same town, and the rumor was going around that he had gotten his dick sucked by a known gay guy.

I never asked him about it because I know him and trusted it was a lie. Fast forward. He has a homeboy that has he has been taking a few golf trips with over the years, and the last trip I asked to come, and we got into a big argument because he said it was for the guys only his friend. It gives me real feminine energy and I don't like it. He's not married and doesn't have any kids. How can I approach this conversation with a man that

I do love and is the father of my child. Girl, Okay, here's what I think about rumors when we're talking about like supposed heterosexual men and gay men. I just don't feel like anybody starts those rumors about real street man like anybody I've ever ever heard a rumor about that ship was fucking true. No, that's not girl. Yes, girl, I'm telling you, anybody you heard what was probably know anybody I heard that got they dick sucked by a

gay guy, got they dick sucked by a gay guy? Yes? Well, my um my suggestion for you is to put on brokeback mount. Shut up with that damn story. I'm so sick of you. This is what I do, girl, No, put it on, and when the gay sex can come on, grab his dick. If it's hard. You know, I always

go to therapy. Take his ask the fucking therapy and bringing it up if you need a mediator there this in case you think it's gonna get crazy because you're asking us, Because I'm pretty sure if she asked him at home, his first thing is going to be like upset. I rate, I'm pretty sure. Is it a deal breaker? For you too, like, are you willing to strap him?

Because I mean, if that's something he like, if you I mean with this two people are doing different ships, Like are you willing to satisfy that need for him? But I don't think the need is that. I don't think, okay, when a man does that with another man, I don't think it's about the actual sexual thing. A lot of times they period, So you can't be that as a woman. You can't be a man. So me personally, I just want to his men. Now we need to just talk about that ship. But no, you're still not a man,

you know what I'm saying. Like, so what you say she should do? Just go to therapy about it? Yeah, I think they should. I think they should. She should. She should ask them if they can go to therapy. Um Um, I'm pretty sure he's gonna be like, why what we need therapy for? I don't know. Just tell him, Hey, there's something I want to talk to you about. But I'm not equipped to talk to you by myself about it.

So she's gonna have a gay prevention shut up? Make me fucking sick to me, No, but I feel like that would be the easiest way because I no man wants to be called out about anything really, especially his sexuality, and then you know, especially if he's not out with it, and what if it's not true. What if it's not true? You know, then he's really upset like women. Like men like to say, women's intuition ain't about ship, but women's

intuition as a motherfucker. If she feels that way about his friend, because you know you haven't been around a gay guy, it's like you automatically start calling them girl, hey, girl, like that where guys who aren't gay sometimes that they're like friend guys and I get really my friend zone, I might write, accidentally call them bitch. Yes, let me tell you yes, yes, So girl, you call us with a heart, You message us with a hard question. I don't she say therapy? I say, turn on the TV

at the house and say some money. I know a good therapist who is not that expensive. They also take insurance. But you also have to decide what you're prepared to do when you get your answer. Yeah, that's gonna be hard one because they gotta kids. Sometimes it's easier to stay in the dark. It is not in this situation, and I'm not trying to perpetuate the thing where you know only specific STDs are exclusive to that group of people. That's not what I'm saying. But we know it's high.

So I don't think this is a situation where she should not say something. But I'm just saying, you have to be prepared for your what you're gonna do when you get the truth, right, I don't think she should not say nothing about it. I think she should definitely ask him about it. I don't think she should say something until she has her playing together on what she's gonna do with the answer. Yeah, right, that's scary. Yeah, moment of silence. I don't know, pulse. Is it different

if it was a woman he was doing it with? Like? Absolutely? If I mean, we're not caught. I've never been in a relationship where a nigger didn't get caught cheating. Okay, have you girl? I remember I got in the bed. It was a condom in the bed. What the fuck is that? Is there a slug in the bed with us? Now, I haven't got in the bed with some panties some

other panties underneath the sheets, You nasty motherfucker. Could you please uh wash these damn she you's got me laying in y'all man just marrinating and somebody else And nigas do that all the time. Ladies, y'all don't know how many bodily fluids y'all be laying in getting they don't be clean like that. Nope, girl, I will come. I know a girl. She'd be letting niggas come and her in her house. She's like, well, we do by side good, that's they side that they lay dirt on the side

my sisticly ill she nasty, that's day side. I don't know. So she only on one side of bed. She bust got the king's side. But even with a king, like I would be all over that bed like what she on the other side, because you sleep on the other side. That's terrible. I don't know, baby, I don't think. I don't think my last man cheated on me. If he did, he did it well and that's how I preferred. Yes,

me too. Don't let me find out that's not where it's respectful, respectful cheating, right, or just tell motherfucker's you like variety and you want multiple people because that's these these This is one second. I know we don't have plenty of conversations on monogamy, pop polygamy, all this ship. I doesn't want job niggs and there y'all can't even afford one bit? How many Now we don't have multiple people on this show talk about what's the average um

income for black people? Right? These niggas do not have enough money for one woman. Yeah. They keep putting these videos up of Shihara Ali and you know what she says about um this one video that's going around now talking about how if you catch your man with another woman, like that's a relationship he facilitated on there, who are you to disturb that? Or something like that. This is a different time. Okay, we cannot apply that type of ship to our current lives because again a lot of

those women didn't have a choice. So my thing is, you could just be honest. I should have to find out anything. Just be honest when you meet me. The thing is is that I feel like men they don't like that though, like they feel like they can't be honest with women. They don't like the fact that if they do be honest with you, that you're gonna then do what they do. I believe I got a story there. I want to tell you always got a fucking story.

Bit go ahead. This was like, all right, this was a long time ago, and I was hanging out with this guy. I was in college or right right outside of college, and we got real drunk together, and then we went to his house and he was like making out and stuff, and then he pulled his past down and tucked this dick behind like between his but like pulled it backwards and it was like a boy pussy and he laid back on the bed with his hands like out like, um man, so did he want you

to lick that itself? I got the out of there so fast. Why did he do that in front of you? We were so drunk. I just think he was being himself and himself had a pussy in his spirit. Motherfuzzicus exists. I here, you want to have a pussy. I'm not knocking anybody who does, like that's your thing. But it scared the funk out of me. I didn't know what was going. I was like, how you got out of there? Tell me? Tell me? Because I was sound. I grabbed my shoes. I don't even think I put my shoes on.

I just snatched my sandals up my person got off. Did you say anything though? I don't. I don't remember saying anything. I remember just because he laid back with He lived in like one of those kind of lofty styles, like there's no there's no doors, so like I just kind of got my ship and got out the door. And I'll never forget him. What I would do? What was I supposed to do? I didn't know what to do. I was confused. Did I tell you this before? How Jesus Christ? This is my old life, y'all. And I

never been like on a super duper whole ship. I'm like a mild hole. But I let this nigga pay me one time in Atlanta to be to beat his dick. Right, I was a prostitute? What No? But I did beat this dude's dick for paid. Once he text me about it, We talked about it. He came over to get his dick beat for four hundred dollars. No, hell no, hell fucking no, you were like prostitute. But when he came over there, the nigga brought bisexual porn. He wanted his

dick beat too. Was bisexual porn men and women fucking like the women trapping on the men like two men and a woman, a woman and two men, like everybody fucking yeah, the men fucking each other. Yeah, by check sexual porn. So I beat his dick to this bisexual porn. He's still my friend a little. I'm a shame girl. They don't think it to my old life. What the funk? It was so nasty. It was nasty. You felt bad

about yourself. Girl. I was paying like fucking six hundred as a month just gas to get to my office when I was living in Atlanta. You had to do what I do. Not judge you, yah, y'all If y'all don't know our voices apart, AJ is the one who would beat dick four. That's a good listen. And it was right before I went to work too, so that was a good day. You know, girls are good. Rate'll be just charging to beat. I don't know if they book it then, but yas gallon right now. Look, this

is my gas was at its highest back then. Like, yes, I definitely did that ship and I don't feel no type of way about it. And don't nobody hurts you with your truth, yo. We're about to get the funk out of here. Anyway. It is a nightlight conversation. I don't know how we can change the black community. I feel like it just starts with the man in the mirror. Like Michael Jackson said, don't have the baby if you can't take care of the baby, Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson

said that what song was that? Girl? Uh so it was on I want to be starting something. He said, if you can't feed the baby, don't have the baby. I don't trust, I don't know. Shut up, we're not about to talk about a legend that month girl, who's MHD Fucking people try to tarnish the same way they're doing will Smith right now. We didn't even get back into that. I don't like how they're doing will Smith. That's for another day though, But girl, you first of all,

Michael Jackson was innocent. I love Michael Jackson, but I would not leave my kids with him. Michael Jackson was trying to save the kids. He was definitely not a pedophile. The colleague Culkin and the other little white dude, they came out and said that they basically he saved them from child sex traffick him back then, Yes, the fats, the fats that have very well maybe true and it

may be alive, but me personally about him. Y'all, listen, if you enjoyed this episode, she's talking about Mike and I don't like that. I love Michael Jackson. Two people you can't talk about to me. It's Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston. Okay, just remember that. I do not like the image of Whitney used to be in a crackhead. I'm so sad about that. And it's just like almost the equivalent of Beyonce right now, I'm becoming a junkie like I used to always sing Whitney Houston song I love.

I just went to a hologram Whitney Houston concert. But that doesn't mean she didn't. Don't. I don't. I never watched that our reality TV you with her and um Mike Bobby but Bobby ever, well, I remember. All right, y'all, man, let's get the funk up bout it. Look. So, if you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on the I Heart Radio Apple wherever the fun you get your podcasts at. This is your girl aj Holiday two point on Instagram. Y'all, we do appreciate all your dumb

bit stories. And some series. Continue to send him in. You can hitd us up at We Talk Back, p O d at gmail dot com, or on the grams. It takes a little whilefus to check on the grab because y'all should be going to that little request box and also send your ask a black friend. You know we wanted to talk to y'all. Know y'all might be scared to ask your questions, but continue to send them. We have answers. My mom said that she has a white friend and wants to send him a question, but

she's scared. Don't be scared. Girl, sitting in and we're waiting on you. It's official Tambama on Instagram. Y'all follow me. I love y'all again and I will see you next time. God willing, so speak now and never hold your piece. Stoces by