Ep. 41 Who Raised Y'all

hey J. We got it to our section. A J did not leave the section the whole time. She drank her drink, kept her little crow mask on the whole night and was cute and that was it. Meanwhile, I was moving around. I was moving around. Okay, you didn't You don't remember it? Did you not remember anybody or anything? Why you wasn't mingling? I mean I spoke to the people I knew, But I don't know what you don't know.

I don't know. God the antisocial a little bit sometimes whatever, girl, So let's get into can we get into the meeting potatoes the right episode? Because I don't want to waste time on this This is a very special episode, you guys. Yes, that's who we got on our show. Guess you ain't never gonna guess. It's our daddy's y'all. So would you'all like to introduce yourselves? Please? Sure. I'm Bryant. I am

Tammy's daddy, my help from Chicago. I'm sixty one years old and I have no idea why Dammy invited me on here for advice on relationships. But here we go. Yeah, you're gonna introduce yourself some all right from a little shy type of person. But I told her that I tried to do my bess and we appreciate you for that. So sho man be bad at sneaky for me to watch. So I'm gonna ask you this question, both of y'all. How did y'all meet our mama's I knew it was ambush.

I met your mother at cop and uh I was a freshman and I don't remember what exactly classification she was at the time, but we met in college and uh, you know, she was older than me, very cute, very polite, berry smart, and I was attracted to it. The rest is history. She is a bad red bone Alleen University. So, so, how you met my mama? Um? I met aske you mom and Charlene to my brother. She used to always say a word down the street that she was she liked me, but I always used to go down the way.

You know. One day I met up and we started a communicating and everything went from there. Okay, cool cool, So all right, enough about them because you'll don't even date them no more. So we need to gonna go down that road, thank you. I'd like to establish first, I did not have daddy issues. My parents were married when I was conceived. Yeah, I had a daddy. Okay, you still got a daddy time where I had. I still got a daddy that was mad good. Twenty years

same here, twenty years has to cut off. Seems like that's a good run. That's a good run, ye man. So all right, give me daddy some advice on You know me very well. You probably know me better than any man out there. Why do you think I'm still single? And be totally transparent? I think that you're still single because, uh, you move too fast and U you don't take time to cultivate a relationship. It's like you three strikes you out, um,

and that's always been you. You're very stubborn independent, and things don't go your way. You out yeah, because these thinkers be playing with me. Daddy, I hear this all the time, trust you, and I give her the same advice, take your time, just taking slow. You understand. You know, guys out here have game, and you know one of your biggest pet peeves is honesty. Um. But I also feel like, you know, you may fall into that category of uh, checking the content of a man's wallet instead

of checking his his character first. And then when you figure out that character is empty and the wallet may be loaded, you you kind of left holding the bag. You don't like it, so you you move on. I've heard you say, oh oh, daddy, this is the one and the first thing you go into is is where he took you? And you know how much money he got the you know, then a couple of weeks later, I can't stand that, Nick. I like a man that

can provide that he what's wrong with that? But well, I mean for pro vision this one thing, but is he providing everything else? I mean, yeah, that once I see the character flawed, the money don't matter no more. And that's I wish I could like just love a man who's just rich and be fine with that, but I just want more exactly. I gotta like you. Yeah, but it's always easy to like a broken nigga. I

don't want no broke nigger. What why don't you find like a medium like he ain't got to be super rich, but he don't have to be like poor standards of a moral character whatever. Because it seemed like the more money a guy got, the more he thinks he's more privileged to take certain privileges with the women that he needs, especially if he thinks that that's all that after is his money. You know, so that's a two way street.

You got a lot of men who lead with money, right, So they lead with money, and then when I tell you I need something, now it's a problem. Yeah, Well that stelf representation, right. Everybody comes out with their best, best face forward. And then when you get into the thick of things like hey, I need uh, I need, I need my life being paid or something like that, then you know a lot of guys kind of get like, who was playing your life being before I met you?

You know, I kind of think that every guy I want to help out a little you know, in a relationship, but for some reason another, So it's hard an it is going into relationship. Um, actually, litle bit tear me. She is her mother's daughter. I understand a lot about that. But she said, what does that mean exactly? Yeah? What does that mean to you when she says that, that means that you know she will take too much trash? Yeah, and I believe that. Yeah, it could be a problem

when it started. So we're not gonna get into your mother. I mean we can't if you want to go there. No, ma'am. Do you do you think I'm like mama? You know it, y'all can't even stay in the same room me and my mom. Yeah, okay, there's some truth to that. Very is just like my mama. I'm very catering, I'm very nurturing.

I'm gonna cook for you, I'm clean for you. You You gotta go on a trip, I'm gonna pack your bag, like all in all the the women womanly things that a man thinks a woman should be like, Like, that's my mom and I'm like her, But don't play with me. That's just it. So a lot of dudes they want to be able to do whatever they want to do, and they don't want you to say nothing about it, Like they just want you to shut the hell up, and I'm not going to shut up. Do you agree

with that, Daddy? I agree with what aspect. That was a whole lot. She just men want want women to shut the hell up and why they do what they do. No, No, I don't agree with that. I think, like I said, I think that's uh two way street. I think sometimes women want me and to shut the hell up and do what they they tell them sacks right. I mean, everybody want their way. Everybody wants their way, and I think sometimes, like Jerome said, it's so hard today in

relationships because of that very fact. Everybody wants their way. Nobody wants to understand the other person, and nobody wants to compromise. It's like my way or highway, especially with you young people. And then it's not just the women, it's the men too. It's like it's just like your young people own job. When they own jobs and they don't get their way, they quit just like that. Yeah,

because their job. As soon as you die that job or have your space field the next day, why I'm gonna be working myself to death for a job that don't care about me. Same things in relationships. Well, I'm gonna keep working myself to definitive relationship and you're gonna hire somebody else the next day exactly. And they keep working foot at the damn door already. And the worst part is that women, we don't have a lot of

quality options out there, you know what I'm saying. Like, men know a lot of quality women, I believe, because they can move on to the next woman and it's like it might be a good catch the next person. But we don't have the option men be having like twenty quality women in the cut. What trust me, they only want one and that one that they really really

really want. You will know it. You will know it because then that's when they put up with all those those things and baggages that you' all breate to the table some time. Call it what you want to call it. All that ship, all that ship. I told you, I told you, damn I want to keep it p G. I said, I know you really don't want me to start dumping. So yeah, all that ship you'll break to the table. Uh. You know, if a man really cares and he's trying to understand you. You know, it would

be an agreement. They say, yes, baby, okay baby, you know, and and it's to the point where, uh if if that type of understanding is not being reciprocated, then that's when the heat comes. So you know, if you want to man, if you want to do right, man, like the song said, well it's it's the obviousite. But if you do want to do right, man, you gotta be a dude, right want man? A woman's only human just like her. Man, can we go and see what this is?

How I feel like I'm in? Aman? Does He'll be like, okay, baby, to yo ship as you called it, and then go to the side check house and be like, man, let me tell you what happened over there. It's stressing me out over there. He'll talking about the side bit. Yeah, now she got all amal for me. When he gonna pull up when he's supposed to right sew to me? How do you know the guy that you win has a side chick? How does he not know you got

you got the back door guy yourself? Like, let me tell you you you talking to you guys, like, let me tell you what this nigga says, and the side guys sitting there talking about for real that's crazy. Yeah right, hey, look but we can't leave but that side man a woman like, at what point do you take for the side. We can't do that for a side. They're gonna leave us when we leave. O man, I don't know. It

takes two to play. So at one point in the relationship, even if you got side people, do you feel like you want to drop all that and just come together and work on on just your relations exclusive relationship because it seems like me everybody has no trust. So everybody you know, keeping their options. So when did you close them options and just work on My mama told me that a man don't close his options to his pencil on right. Well no more, that's what she told me.

This is all I got to say. Now they got medicine for that. Stop writing. That's right, So you gotta come up with another option. Hold on, tam, let's stay some bills. Both of y'all have been married for twenty years and I'm not trying to put you on the spot. Mr Hart. You just said that you know there's no trust and we'd be ready to leave this at the third So in the twenty years of marriage. Can y'all say y'all were both completely faithful for twenty years. I wasn't.

I'll be honest with that. I think that's where the trouble started. And that's why I'm speaking from experience now that I mean, if you're serious about a relationship with someone one on one, that that whole honesty piece and being transparent and old been with your partner as far as what you want and what you're looking for and

what you need other than just money is important. You know, it's okay to start out a conversation with what you do for a living or whatever, but it's more important to find out who that person is, and it's this is the type of person you want to be with exclusive and if you read between the lines, they bullshit and I guess you can just step But if you finally meet somebody that's sincere, I mean, I think you have to take that risk and that chance to make

it happen for but you're never gonna make it happen if you don't open up and start trusting people. Most people probably end up in marriages with somebody who they weren't supposed to be with. It happens if you rush you into it. I mean, if you take your time and learn them important aspects that I was talking about, like does this person make you laugh? You know? Do they listen to you when when you have problems or

or when you really need to talk? Uh? You know, do they provide for you in a way that you you know, you feel secure? And uh, just being honest and open. You guys can talk about anything. You know, do the background research, you talk about your families, you know how you were raised and uh you know, yeah, all that do you think do both of I want to both of y'all to answer this one. Do y'all think it's natural for a man between the ages of

let's start with thirty. Is it natural to be with one woman for the rest of your life for a man? But that? Is that a natural thing? Or do you think it's unrealistic to expect a man to pick a woman at the age of thirty and be with her forever and nobody else. I have a couple of friends, a few friends that I knew, but with his wife for a while, you know, yes, so like me myself, you know, other woman came in between me and my wife we just kind of like, I guess me to

grow apart, you know. Um, but I wasn't the type of person that I like that I already had to go out, you know, just I was just my mama is the woman that all these guys on Instagram one. I just want a good girl who go to work, come home, and stay in the house all day. That's her. Yeah, she was a good woman. I think with my fault that our relationship went bad. No other woman caused it. And do you think it went bad because you wanted to go out mostly because I didn't stopped going out?

Let's I'm packed this for a second. Yeah, because going out they're wrong. Yeah, maybe you gotta find then when you get back on the argument starts something make it wrong. Okay, so let's back up a second. You said no woman ever came between your relationship. Yeah, you said that of force. I'm trying to calculate it, right, because was it just going out or were you having too much fun outside

the house. You see what I'm saying when you say, oh, no woman ever came between because I think it's what what men think. It's like they do, they do, they do stuff within the relationship right, And because you leave, you're you ended the relationship or you're the cause of us not being together. Not the situations that transpired for me to leave, it's because you gave up on the relationship. You know if I basically I took the blame for my relationship. But how do you say that No woman

ever came in between a relationship? Nothing never did. I well, I don't remember that. I'm blurried. But I'm trying to understand, is what the conversation was, you know, let me help you. He's saying it wasn't a woman, but it was something that came between the relationship. He made felt like he was neglecting whatever he started out with it for this man, I'm helping him out, Yeah, because he's trying to say it wasn't a woman, but he was. Yeah, it wasn't

another relationship at all, not another relationship, but situations. Of course, it wasn't another not it wasn't you having a whole another relationship outside my mom. That's what you're right, because you didn't leave her for a woman's right. But she might think that what I'm trying to she was gonna have that thoughts for there book to me, it wasn't that way, you know, Yeah, right, daddy. Do you think that's something that's natural for a man thirty enough to

be with one woman forever and that's it? I don't know the word natural just kind of you know, it's kind of messing with me in my head. Uh, I think that. No, naturally, No, it's not. I'm gonna be honest. The thirty year old man um a thirty year old man if he's in love with his wife, his woman, et cetera. Yes, but nowadays, from what I've witnessed and what I know, it's more an exception than the rule.

But it's possible. So if a man is married thirty year old, let's not even say third, let's say thirty five. Let's be realistic, thirty five year old man is married. Do you do men consider cheating meaning you don't love your wife. I would say, if you cheat on your wife, you don't love your wife enough, because if you were really in love with your wife and you respect that, your vows and all that good stuff, no, you wouldn't cheat.

You wouldn't cheat on your wife. See. I don't know how well I agree with that, just because I feel like sometimes cheating don't have nothing to do with the other person. You know, the choice that you may cheating is a choice. Yeah, it has. It has everything to do with internal issues ego. Things are personal sometimes and they don't even have to do with the person over

here that you do love. You know. I'm not making excuses for it, but yeah, because my een, um, it took us out of Africa, but then it took an African out us. Our African listener's gonna be mad at that. Wait, what does that mean that you believe? Like, imagine having more than one wife, Like, that's the culture over there. I was, I was back home in the land. You know, I have more than one wife. Yeah, and that and that, and that's natural over there. You know. Now you like

the word natural? Okay, got it? Well? Yeah, I mean that's why I said the word natural just kind of go screw in my head because, uh, what what I mean when you say nature natural? I mean exactly what are you talking about? Monogamy? Is monogamy natural for a man forever all of us? Some woman's you know, they won't they don't. Yeah, let's let's let's flip that is it natural? Thirty five year old woman to want to be with one man for the rest of their life.

I will say, no, it's not natural. But however, oftentimes women practice restraint better you know than men. Like we have the same type of feelings y'all have, but we may not go out and act out act on them, you know what I'm saying until it should get real ugly right. It's a societal norm that we practice restraint with. But I don't think it's natural for any one of us to be with one person forever and and then

another thing is just like what am I getting? I'm always like, what am I getting out this other situation that you know what I'm saying, like, because I feel like if I cheat, I'm going to be ready to leave with that person too. But do you know the big the big C words is it's the main ingredient into that relationship, and that's commitment. You know, what what

level of commitment are you prepared? I mean, even let's say you in that committed relationship and hopefully no one does have a relationship outside of that marriage, but if that happens, what is the level of commitment to repair whatever happened and to continue in that relationship? Whereas the commitment for forgiveness and to move on and understand it, because that's not into the today's society. Nobody. That commitment level is not as strong as it used to be,

like when my parents were. Commitment can't be one sided. That's the thing to commit being committed you while you do whatever you agree and I agree and that one and I'm when I'm speaking of commitment, I'm talking about on both partners. And you know it can't be one side. It has to be a commitment on both. And I think that you know, sometimes you run into some rough patches in any relationship, and you know, keeping that open communications and and and sticking to the commitment is better

than maybe some unrealistic goal. Like Dammy said, everybody is just completely one faithful, especially the man. I I do believe that women are creatures who are more devoted and nurturing and loving where they they can, you know, be with one man for the rest of their life. But you know, it's an exception to the rule with both me. I admire man that that's been with one woman and that's the only woman they loved, and so you don't think he'll sucker. You admire no, No, that's that's okay.

I think the sucker is the cat that keeps bouncing from woman the woman. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah, like I said, I got a lot of friends that But with the wife thirty seven year for the years, it's still happy. The only down This is what I'm trying to get to though, they sot together because of the woman's endurance. Y'all think that it's not from the man. You don't think it takes indoors for a man to stay with a woman thirty five for the years. That's

a lot of endurance. Well, yeah, I agree, it is a lot of endurance. But well from what I from what I've seen, right, for what I've seen, if somebody stays together, like people joke about this stuff all the time, like, yeah, women is just we just pick up and leave whatever is easy for us to leave. Men nowadays, their grandmother's stuck it out to send a third They really didn't have a choice, right because financially they couldn't leave a lot of the time. Right. But now we have enough

money to survive on our own, exactly. We got some fucking money. So yeah, well get the staff and I know what I'm just what I'm saying is that's the attitude to everybody now, Like you know, I don't know if it's good or bad, That's what I'm talking. I don't want to know if those women in those relationships would have gotten the same type of grace that they were moving like the husbands. If I was moving like my husband, and I caught my husband sheating so many

times in its thirty forty year marriage. Well we have made it to thirty forty years because a man's ego cannot handle his woman stepping out on him like women are supposed to handle it. Yeah, but you know with women are so clever. Man that never know anywhere he asked for though, We asked him to look till that woman tells him, till that woman tells him when she just fed up. That's why eyes so and so another nigger,

And that's it. That's when the ship starts. Baby come out looking like the no, he said, that's that's when the ship starts. The ship starts. She tells you she smashed somebody else, but they all start the thirty times you've been smatching beck around the corner. Yeah, but dammy, I'm just expounding on the fact that Tammy said that a man's ego cannot handle of his woman sleeping with another man. And you know what, I'm happy to give

you that's true. That's true. It's a lot more deeper for a man than than for some reason to one, you know, a woman is more forgiven. It still comes back to the big C word, a big commitment, you know, are you committed? Are you ready? And some people get confused with love. You know, yeah to somebody, but the woman loved you. Someone think that dude be beating up on him he loved them? Yeah, No, I know people

like that. This guy said that the woman he was dealing with, if he didn't beat her, she wouldn't feel like he loved her. Someone some people think that way. That's that's crazy right there, And that's why you gotta be That's why you got to know people background and how they were raised first of all. Right, the only way you can experience like some type of love or that that type of feeling is by somebody putting in hands with me or yelling custom screaming you got a problem.

We got some type of emotional trauma that you need to unpack with the therapist. At that point hold on, tim, let's stay and they'll I was gonna ask them, um, what advice would they give two young men right now who are looking for love or men that are in relationships. The advice I would give this is to be honest. I'll be honest with that woman what your intentions are. And if you express your intentions and they're noble, then live up to it and save you a whole lot

of heartache and it and money, most importantly money. That's my advice. I think both of them need to be honest. The man and the woman need to be honest with each other. UM, and and any relationship. What I do, I try to stay on it, but facially my daughters. I got three dogs, so I just try to listen more than anything when they come to me and ask me,

you know, innions, especially if they're going with somebody. I just I tried, basis, just listen to them that I get something, and I don't try to get in bold man, he don't say nothing. You hear me like you know how I be talking to him. I'll go on on on. It's probably sounding like my mom or whatever, like I'm really needed some type of advice, like I really need my daddy to help me through, like am I tripping? Like? Am I tripping on his man? Or is he tripping

on me? Like give me some type of something. And he'd be like, baby, just do your best. I hear that, that's like friend, but he was. I was working up there Columbia with him, trying to help him get that food truck together, and he used to expressing me all the time. I tell him, I feel you to say, I'm playing just you know, kind of ignore without giving him any advice. So you've been thing was to stay out of it. Yeah, like hes gonna stay out of it like completely though, Yeah, I try to stay out

the way. I just feel like when I asked my daddy for advice when I'm actually in a relationship, it's always this is how you're sucking up, and let me tell you, and I get mad. You can't tell that man to go to bed. Remember that time I tried to make my ex go to bed because I had to go to bed. Yea, my ex used to make me go to bed. It was lights out, like prison

TV off on me and everything. I couldn't even I used to have my handphones on to meditate when he would be complaining about being able to hear the meditation music on my headphone. Like at this point we need to sleep in step the bedrooms because god damn, that's controlling. Said, Maybe I was being controlling too people sail phone right, all that crazy. I don't do that. No, I never do that. But you know, Tam, I mean you can't be a bit the man in that time kids, all

of us. It was a long time ago, right, So now look I'm out here. I've been breaking up for the last year. So whatever I've been having going on in life. But what kind of advice do you do y'all have for y'all single? Uh, thirty something year old daughters? As far as relationships, should we get into one? Should we just stay single and die that way? Like? What should we do? No, you can't single. Single A long time before I got married and a man, I used

to go out all the time. Um, when you're single, you're single. I want to say, stay single and die, But that is easier that way. Yeah, single people do live longer. Yeah, you ain't saying the world when you say life it's easy because that's where you'd be sitting here, Like, I want a relationship. I want somebody. I wants some boy. You get somebody, and it's like, why the hell did I manifest this bullshit? But the real question is is what do you want? I mean, that's that's that's the key.

What do you want? Yeah, because everybody go through that's a single person, you know. I just just lonely, nobody talking to you? Five six friends, you're talking. I want somebody when it's cold, and I want to be single when it's hot. That's what you want for real town? No, No, I just want to season no boyfriends. Yeah, I am tired of using my mama as emergency contact. Okay to

me too. No, I do want I do want something real one day, but I'm not going to I waited this long, so I'm not going to force it or lay my standards down by the riverside at this point. So, daddy, what's your advice? Well, I mean you you just say that you I mean, keep your standards, but you gotta continue to live your life. But whatever standards that you have, you have to present the same standards as well. So don't have expectations of someone that you're not gonna meet yourself.

That's fair advice. He's out there. The next one is out there somewhere. Yeah, if you're listening, baby, I'm here girl talking. So Daddy, I'm surprised you didn't say anything about my mouth. I'm surprised. I mean everybody knows about that by now. I mean, you know, I don't need to speak on that. No, I think you should for our listeners. They don't know. They don't they don't know. I don't know. He don't. Well, I tell you she has a mouth on her and she's always at a

mouth on her since she started learning to talk. You ever, mad ast mama. She said she's her mama Donna. And I actually told her when she said she was having this show, and she said she was getting paid to talk, I said, well, that's got to be a god sent occupation, because that's definitely your gift. We're bore communicators shout. I mean, we always effective, but we are healthy. Yeah, because we're being kind of so, I would tell you Tammy talks ship.

I'm working on it. Though. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not so, and sometimes it's not meant to be funny, you know, sometimes it can be just all right. Yeah, I know, but I listen. I have been actively working on that because it's sometimes I'll be thinking of some shing I'm about to say and I don't say it, and then I don't even say it, and I'd be like, look at the growth in the name of Jesus, Holland,

Holland Luia, hold it back. You know what what I've been I've been starting to do is I think, how would I be affected if someone said the same exact words to me, and that are determined if I should say it now. Sometimes I'd be like, fun that and I say it anyway. But there's a lot of times where I just, you know, I think about how I would feel and I don't say nothing. I just think it well. As my dad U tell me, and I

never understood until I got a little bit older. He said, you got to know when the hole and know when the folks right, and that's where to live by. Yeah, but if I get too quiet, it's really over. As long as I'm yelling, we good. I think that's what most women, that's what most women are. A silent woman is dead. Do you think Black women are not submissive enough in comparison to other women? I don't know. I

don't have anything to compare with. H I've always known black women, and uh, I love black women, and I don't I don't think I would want to super submissive woman because of the type of person that I am, I would run all over. Yeah, so I need, I need to be checked sometimes. So I like a strong black woman that voices her opinion and makes her standards known. And I admire you about that, Tim, You should always be that type of person. You don't compromise the lower

standards for anyone, especially a Maine Thank you daddy. So we right. So basically keep talking ship no, no when to hold them and know when the okay. Yeah, I've only been a relationship with black people. It is I never another national. I know my brother, you woman is now. Yeah, I think you have to say a problem because you can't steal with him. I hope your brother not listening to this show. You know. His problem is he be getting white women who who don't take ship like black women.

So he got the best of both worlds. That's the problem. He can't, I think to him. But he had asked some bluffs the days. Uh. Yeah, he had a son of Germany and he got contact with my family up at Baltimore. So you finally touched with him after thirty some years. How nice is that? M So my uncle was in a military child he got probably got returning all over and over one in Germany. He don't know because I didn't asked him before. You don't know about one.

I got a question, what's one piece of practical advice you wish you knew sooner? I probably man married with the one woman. Practically place stay married to one woman. That set you back along way? Is now when you got to start? Yeah? I realized that what about your daddy? You know, you just gotta keep going. It's cheaper to keep him. Yeah, that's basically what he's said too. But

you can't. You got to keep me, That's right. No. I wish I would have been more a little bit more open and more honest and try to understand my woman instead of trying to command all the time. And that's basically it. Yeah, so y'all listening out there. Stop trying to command us and just listen some damn time. Ship. I don't think I said that, he looks. So what I'm here herring is do what I'm saying. The time work out you don't have no damn no, no input

though you're listening. Imagine you got a man who like y'all, like he listened, he listening, but he ain't got no like there's no exchange right after that, that's just as bad advice. Guys, just after listen woman talk talk, No, my daddy is definitely going to exchange. My mom talked circles around you. We're gonna have their ass on here too. Yeah, we're gonna have them next. That should be an interest in show. I don't know about your mom, but that's

Sarah heart, Daddy. I need you alone together because oh no, no wait, sorry to start bringing up. Oh shit, it's gonna get nasty. Oh it's gonna get ring. I know I didn't call you. My mama called him my ball head and met for a real cluck. But crazy thing is, my mom and my dad are the best of friends to this day, best of friends. Right, This is true. Art didn't get alone pretty good too when I told her the podcast, that's that's suicide. That's that's gonna be

our Christmas episode. What your talking about your final show? Goodness? Well, in a relationship, was there something that you always wanted to do but never had the chance to do it. That's an interesting question that I'm gonna let you fail out. I think I didn't basically everything in the relationship. That relationship calls for um because if you started, we didn't have anything with poets help. We worked together and accumulated. But if we did accumulated, try to raise three daughters

the best we can. So um, I think that's about it. And I left for me to really think that. I I mean, I wish I had, like I said, being more patient, but more understanding and more um I understand, I said, I understanding, and the relationship you got to have a d understanding each other. Everybody got and both parties got to be able to communicate and talk. Once you lose the communication and that left. That's a fact

that you I'm agree with drawne. I mean, I've been saying that since since top for the show, that that communication, fact and understanding is the key. You know. It's unfortunate it took me so many years to realize that. But so what I'm hearing is y'all telling us to wait until me about sixty to get married. No, that is not what your theory. That's what it sound like, Yeah, I see. I was hoping you what what I think?

What drown and I are saying, don't wait until you get that age to start realizing that communication and understanding and it's not always about your way of the highway is as a key ingredient in a relationship. You got to have some type of compromise and commitment with somebody that you actually really love and you want to take

that long walk down that road. I was hoping that you were gonna say something like I wish that I took your mother to Paris, or I took your mother to the moon, or something that saddled it and lasted and pulled it down to her. That was the answer I was looking for. Well, I wasn't exactly thinking that in terms of I was thinking something else. But you know, this is a PG show, But no, it ain't. Well, I wanted to three something in my back right, so I didn't want to do that. So but no, that

was you know, her friend Paula, Remember her friend Paula. Yeah, goodness from Africa. He was Chicago, Illinois. That's closing up, all right, y'all. Thank you all for joining us today for this lightning conversation. I need to shut up sometimes I need to communicate and be understanding, and I need to wait till my nigga sixty five. That's all I got. That's all I got from it on. We talked about

money earlier. Can we bring a broke nigger home? Like y'all bring a man that you knew couldn't take care of me to your house? Like, I'm not even gonna ask that question because I know my daddy would look at me like, what the hell? I already know what's home? That is, if you don't get this brokenig up out of here right now, I'm asking about ten dollars for gas to get my daughter home. You broke ass, I think my old daughter home. I put the dog on him.

He's gonna put mysk on uh. Yeah. So they got higher standards for their daughters in their half, for the women that they married, apparently. Yeah, well I understand, woman, because as like I said, I got three girls and I haven't understand. So I understand they got three three girls too. Yeah, yeah, a little more protective of them. Do you do you feel like fathers that are loving to their daughters and their wives and should it be that way. Yeah, I mean, I mean, your daughters are

your baby, so I don't know. But but the Bible says, my daddy, that your wife should become your wife, and your husband should come first, and then the children because the children go on with their lives and your spouse is with you forever. Yeah, that's that's what the Bible says. But does it always work that way? It don't never work that way? So then why why y'all get mad? All right? So I saw where, uh they said, who gets the biggest piece of chicken? The and who should

eat first? The kids or the daddy? Who do you feel like I should eat first at the table the kids? Like you know in the back of the old rap, you see the rab got the big piece of chicken. You ain't lives wrote? My daddy said. When he was a kid, he wanted to be a preacher because he always got the biggest piece of chicken standing the man. That is so true. Women back then would be worshiping the church and the reverend more than they worshiped the

person who actually putting the food on the table. That's right. M was the type of person like this here. Um, my wife always I didn't mind cooking a little dinner, cleaning loans, you know, because she had a job. Well, these men nowadays, we got to cook, we got to clean, and work, work, We got to raise kids, got to help you build a business. We got to do all of these things and have sex on the man. Yeah, all of that and be and be happy. Yeah, that's

that's fine. I have two job, guys, and not like that. Yeah, I had two jobs back in the day when I was first up. Man, I still have to come on ticket, but this too. That's why I go to my second job. And you was tired to wasn't you drawn like choice? Pretty sure? Y'all wanted the business more than my mom. You are no mama. You don't think like man. I don't know. I can't speak for my mom on that one, now, you know. Yeah, it's trying to wrap it up. Yeah,

it's time for me to go. You know, some people know. Listen, guys, thank y'all so much. I love you both for coming on our show and being so transparent and honest with us and our listeners. Y'all helped us out a lot. We're both gonna have new husbands next year. Watch based on this. This enlightenment. We gotta speak. If we gotta meet them, we got to meet them soon, like this next weekend. Let's go out again and get my fire to juice from. I'm gonna pray for you and whoever

you need. Please, all right, y'all listen. If you guys enjoyed this episode with our daddy's like our real daddy's, because you know, you can't choose your father, but you can choose your daddy. Look, if y'all enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on the I Heart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts at. This is Your Girl a j Holiday two point on Instagram. Make sure y'all hit us up on We Talked Back podcast on Instagram and year and it's tam Bam Official tam

Bam on Instagram. Y'all follow me. We are definitely looking for some interns, you guys. So if you're good with social media, if you're good with graphic design, if you have any skills, hit us up. We're looking for you. Yeah, we need some young people because alright, God bet y'all