Ep. 38 "Cuffing Szn"

if you ain't laughing, you're crying. Walk around with the rest and bitch face right. Some of y'all just be ugly and sad for no reason. Happiness is a choice. Smile. How is your week? And you um uneventful? This was an uneventful weekend. I think I stayed in the house most of the time, and then I went out to stay forty eight with my sister and my sister's best friend, and I had to pay for my own food. I hate that, you know a bit, just be trying to sept that bill to a teacher. I wait a minute,

I had that God damn bit was just like drink La. No, I tricked off out of my sister and her best friend a little bit, just a little bit. I didn't pay for everything, but I did a little something. I did put a little bit in the tab because I never do that. God, I've been at stake for the yet. Yeah, I got a reservation that ship all out to all the way to like uhtimes October. Sometimes I don't know who I'm going with, but I made the reservation, and you know they asked me a hard Yeah, so you

don't be on the ball. It's really good though, What about you, per usual? Like, are you gonna tell everybody about your cross country trip? Yeah? I did. I flew to Oregon and then drove all the way back from Oregon South Carolina that ship. Crazy. You see what I've been happening, but just going across the country. Girl, let me tell listen. So why this nigger was offended when

I said that? Because I would have been ended after you're applying that I'm gonna kill you, like I hadn't mentioned it until I got back home though, But listen, while we were out there, mind you, we coming through uh Wyoming at the time, and I think it was either Wyoming at Utah that um dan, what's what's what's the girl's name? You know, it's the the white woman who just got murdered. They found her body in Wyoming,

I think it was um. Yeah, but they stopped her and her boyfriend because somebody reported them for having some type of UM like somebody reported a DV domestic violence UM situation. Police came. They're both on camera on a police cam going back and forth. But apparently somebody reported that he had hit her. So now I'm reading this ship. I'm following the story as she's missing now because he's been home for ten days and her parents he came, he went home without her. So now they just found

her body. But yeah, I mentioned the ship to him and he was very He was like, you know what, that's fucking ludicrous. I'm like, I really was, Listen, you just don't can't be too careful. She trusted that negative exactly because men like he probably never killed anybody in his life. He probably never did that, Like that could be a one situation, but something in him made her do that, made him do that to her, Right that could happen. You're not kill you kill somebody exactly. I

know women who have been killed by men. You know what he said, Well, I know men. I know I know a girl who stabbed her boyfriend in his sleep. Like, yeah, women do that, But I know women. I know multiple women who have been killed or just shot up a lot, and now they might be walking around head cripple from

a man um. When my grandma passed away, at the funeral, one of her cousins, the old last ones of one of her cousins that was around when she was young, told me that she had was dealing with this nigga and bought him a zoop suit and he was out there showing out and she cut him out the suit

like that. It's like an old tummy suit, Like do you remember, Oh, Malcolm X with him and Spike Lee was walking across the street and they was waving their hand across that w and they was walking cool that type of suit and then my grandma cut his ass right out of that suit. Give me, give me that ship back, nigger. You know I had entertaining bitches in my fucking suit. Give me that you grab me. Greddy was a killer job, But yeah, I wasn't trying to

offend him, but it's in the back of your mind. Mind. You we flew to Oregon, so it's not like I could travel with a pistol on my knife or something like that. And like each story stopped and I'm like, yeah, they got knives in there, like Mitchell wanted to buy a knife. Not for him per se, but like because we were traveling through all these little hecktowns and ship like that. Man, but yeah that we were coming through Utah,

Wyoming all that not his fucking bitch is missing. I'm like, man, and they went on a road trip, so in the back of my mind, like that could happen to me. I'm sorry that that women be real life. Pray for some men. I'm sorry. And not to say he's some type of predator because he's not. But ship happens, and

I just wanted to live to tell the story. I'm sorry, yeah, but I just there's no way there's no nigga on the in it right now that I would get fly to Oregon with and then ride in the car all the way back to the East Coast with his ass.

I can't nobody I like them, girl. It took us the whole fucking week two girl, my feet were swollen in the truck looking like I bet professor clump or rescue ship bus ship was biggest hell from just sitting everybody know right, you should find everybody know rest, We should find girl funk out of here. I can see me that already and jack my own motherfuck herself from the car like so yeah, it was rough all right.

So before we get into what we want to actually talk about this week, I want to talk about bullshit on the internet. Oh yeah, because there was some bullshit I've seen this week. We want to talk about our home girl literally from South Carolina. Yes, girl, congratulations right on your engagement. Congratulations to them on the positive. You know, black people always gotta give a positive and too negatives. You gotta do ah, you know, you gotta do a

compliment sandwich. So let's start with a compliment. Let's get to the bullshit in with a compliment. Okay, ready, you're so pretty congratulations girl, yes, congratulations, but we're happy for you. But how did that nickel proposed from jail? Like, I just want to see, did somebody else come and put the ring on her finger? And what's he on zoom or something? On FaceTime? Nigger probably got an iPhone in there. Um, that's not ideal for a proposal. I just wonder why

he did it then? Is he trying to make sure she can't testify gets him with something he's already been sentenced. Believe didn't he go to jail for like violation and parole privation somebody that actually just got him for the rest of the time on whatever other charge he had. I don't know just why I couldn't wait, sir, Why couldn't would it wait till he got out? I would have said, I definitely would have said no. But them jail house talks. Girl be so sweet. That's when another

you asked everything nigga really loved you? When he and jail are he broke. That's the two times. Yep. So apparently she says she's went from girlfriend to fiancee. I hear that. I'm not mad at that, but her thirtieth birthday thirtieth birthday, Yeah, then you did it on my birthday. I don't like that because if we break up now, my birthday is a reminder of your ass. YEP. Anniversary for an engagement anniversary is their birthday. I don't know that.

I definitely would have told that nigga know me too. You're a young girl, young woman, sorry, beautiful woman. She's not a young girl. She's a young woman. He is in prison. I just, uh, what happened to the basketball player she was talking to. He wouldn't ship, you know, I don't think. But here's the thing. He ain't going to prison on some bullshit. Yeah, we don't know. These things dropping like flies out here. I think I don't know if it's a really love thing or is it

a control thing? You know, That's how I would feel like you're trying to control me from the inside. Yes, because she out here popping right, and you're trying to control me. Because if you was free, would you be putting that ring on me today? Hell no, Yeah, I bet you do, motherfucker. I bet you need time. It will be some bull that. I just think it might be like he do love it, but it's also a matter of control. Yeah, jail halls talking like he made

very well. Feel like he wants to marry her from prison. She's probably sending him. We probably need her to send money, but just time, you know what I'm saying. Talking whatever he made very well because now I'm pretty sure she's the constant while he's in is he very well made feel like he wants to marry this woman? But will

you feel like that when you come home? Because I have been there, I have I'm not going to have a waiting for a man to come home from jail, but I have had a man come home from prison and have a bit pregnant within I don't know, six months, a new woman, like somebody you didn't even know, just you just met this bitch at the car wash already, So coming home from jail already told y'all would happen like I don't even want to relive that ship. Girl, I just can't play with people right now the fuck.

Let him come home and then ask him, really see if he's really wanting to marry you. That That would have been my response, Baby, I love you so much. I do and I do want to be your bride. I can see a future with you. I can see forever with you. But can we please wait and have a proper proposal when you get home. I'm not going nowhere. I'm gonna be right here, okay, baby, Oh that sounds so nice. Yeah, that's how I would have said. It

while you still got a holiday for the holidays. She can still have a Hollibay with that ring right on her fingers. Nothing. He's not stopping nothing. That's why he got sent this to five years. Right, So we know you probably want to do a whole five years, but how much time you might do like three and a half. Yeah, like you're really about to wait until you're thirty four. But well, she already got kids. See that was my thing.

I'm not about to wait for a man to come home from prison when I don't have kids out here, and you got a whole baby. Yeah, so she already has kids, so she don't have to worry about that. But you really, you really like put yourself in prison when these guys go to jail, you do you're doing the time with the yeah like literally we're not literally, I mean unless you don't, right, and look, you better than at me? Well, they just say that. I don't take that as a compliment. It's not in the black

community and just not a compliment. It's very disrespectful. You better than me and bless your heart. Yeah well again, listen, you know, but well you know what we were. We love to see black love and we're looking for you guys to last throughout this hardship of him being in jail and show us something different so we can believe and love and lock up or some ship. That was my That was my beautiful moment. That was my sandwich. If he ain't leaving you two million like Gucci to

flip while he gone, what like he might have? We don't know. Look, set the standard for for jail base. That rings it okay with two million exactly because I doubt. I mean, I've seen multiple celebrities at that same ring. That's probably from uh what that dude um Zales site. I'm joking. Is it Marcello? I think it's Marcello from New York. Yeah, it might be one of the same old rings. Now, I know them rings gonna cost that damn much. Prlo five six six. Let me not count

up her Let me not count up her ring. It's a nice ring. It is a beautiful ring. I just want my own ring. Let me start worried about a bitch and her ring and hunnigg and jail. I can't get a nigga outside of jail right now, so let me shut the funk up. Look, you want to you want to jail bake, you definitely can get you a nigger. Yeah, you know, these are jokes, girl, These are jokes, you know, because I like, I'm okay with a little white collar.

This is a little white collar crying a little mortgage fried Like yeah again, boy, no I going no P P P scammers though, Okay, they're going to jail they damn I had to do ha happen right now? Because Okay, you let somebody structure up fake ass. This is for you. You gotta still like, keep up whatever documentation you gotta send these people. You can't just do that and think you're gonna be okay. But listen, shout out to Renny Rucci Cogs on your engagement. Come on the show. We

can talk some more about this engagement. Yes, we want to talk. What else happened? Oh, Cardi b looking fly as hell all over Paris. Child Party be to me is one of the best stress in the industry. Who was her stylist? Do you think she put together herself? I don't know. It looks like I mean, it's just I just feel like she go or whatever. I'm pretty

sure she had said. So she's not about to just be wearing any fucking thing but Cardi bb fly is hell on any give on Sunday, any an important event, court, any run, ray, any red carpet event, any like Fashion Week, New York Fashion Week, Paris Fashion Week. Honey is five, she is. She had on that big gass hat that looked like a god upside down walk girl. I wanted to make me some damn be for Broccolick with Cardi B which look good and like, meanwhile, offset just oh no,

he just there, child, He just there with Cardi. He hadn't like some little plastic bag outfit. I was like, okay, I'll set hey, I've said it's Cardi B Birkin. It's harder for guys though. I feel like when it comes to fashion and because I mean some of those things were like, you know, it's supposed to be our you know, it's not just supposed to be about clothes. And when it comes to men, when they're trying to be artistic with their look, sometimes it don't play as well as

with women. Yeah. I just love to see them together, you know what I'm saying. They don't had a second baby now together be his fifth child. I think Cardi B second child like. I love that they worked it out. See how long but it's gonna last. Yeah, they're good and I love to see them together. I love because you know what I'm saying, It takes a while for men to tighten up. Man, And when you realize who the funk you got right, And you know when she

threatened that damn divorce, he got it ship together right quickly, right. Unfortunately, sometimes you gotta leave for motherfucker's to recognize your value. My thing is unfortunately being especially I don't know how it is for a man because I'm not one, but as a woman, I just can't imagine. How do they are? They even in thirty yet? Um no, Cardi should be like twenty seven. I think Offset might be thirty being with one bitch forever and you ain't even thirty yet. God,

that's as crazy as hell. But how many damn women, how many kids you want to have? That's them is unrealistic goals for me. Okay, so Offset is twenty nine, Yeah, they're not even thirty yet, and then yeah, you're picking your forever person before thirty is just like outrageous to me. Cardi b is twenty eight, Yeah, that's very young. She's got to be twenty nine and her birthday only eleventh. Actually,

I'm thirty plus. I ain't telling y'all how much funck y'all, but I'm thirty plus and I still don't even think these I can. I don't even I don't. So what's the age? Then we're talking forties. You need to find you forever. Per sixty five, you ain't for a minute pausit kicking and then the the man you get, we gonna wan a younger woman. And I'm just gonna get a younger nigga. I'm gonna pay for it like these niggas. Dude mine as well. I'm gonna get you an Xbox

twenty five. Baby. Just come on the big Mama house. You gotta pushing platter for you. I think you're gonna be like boy, I love my old bitch. My old bitch said care of me, and just bring that strong back goodness. I don't never want a young nigga. Man, No, I'll got no time to be packing bag lunches and picking up and dropping dick off. I just don't want to do the energy. By any time, I'll be retired in there, I'm retired. What else I gotta do, but drop off, Dick, pick it back up. I got nothing

else to do. He's gonna be fucking holes. Holes can be calling you like, who is this? Could you imagine this? This bitch call you old? If I'm sixty five, I'll be like, okay, so and you better call me Miss Tammy. Okay, just stop playing with me that trip you window? Who you think bas that trip bit? You better relax? That's our nigger, MS Tammy. Yo, that's funny man. Could you imagine though? Like that's funny yourself. I'm prepared for it, y'all.

I want my old niggaby, my own niggabye six five, my own fine ass salt and pepper grade here, Dick stole work. Yeah, I just gotta get me a vegan nigger. I'm gonna just I'm gonna talk to you like that movie taking good Luck Good Yeah, bitch, because Sam, that's not reality. I don't know friends. I know a whole bunch of My mama got a whole bunch of old

bitch friends. And they just old bitches, but they still they probably even give a fun no more like don't get to a certain ages, like they don't care no more. God that time that's passed. That's how they'd be acting. I'd be scared. That's like watching a horror movie when they'd be sitting in the house just old bitches. Don't want they pussy linck no more. I was like, now we scared, we're gonna be like that old bitch and

at meme or Instagram. Yes, that's who I'm gonna be about to talk about that bow leg and they at the church right, Yes, that's what I want, That's what I want, that energy. No, I don't want to be that old so on some whole ship talking like a whole No, man, I don't want to I'm not putting that in the universe. Never be a grown ass man. Yes, never lose your home, never lose a little bit. Yeah, it don't have to be like a whore. Just still have that vibe vibe. What is that word vivacity? Is

that a word? Yeah, city is a word vacity for life for someone. If someone says you're full of vivacity, that means you have a high spirit in our full of life. Yeah. See, I was right, bit, all right, we need to do a new word for the week. But I got a problem with this word because the definition says vivacity, especially in a woman, the quality of being attractively, lively and animated. He was struck by her vivacity, humor, humor, and charm. Why is that? Why would that be specific

to women? Because they turned into them my old bitches on the couch talk about they don't what no dick no more. That's why my you know, that's my mom's gonna be mad at me about that ship, right, there's not they don't know her. She all right as jokes mama, y'all. Look, I was just talking about that this morning on the way on the way back from Atlanta with my Uber driver. This nigger was saying, he's fifties six and his girlfriend is forty five. He was like he was married before,

Like it just works out better this way. And you know, my dad is seventy and his wife is possibly like she's around the ages of my two older sisters. I'm the youngest, and I understand why older men want younger women. I don't know why women want old ass men. Though they got daddy issues. They got daddy. They want a father figure, and he want a bitch with a vacity for life. I just don't want some old as body on me. And you know right now or just when

you get older? Yeah, like right now when older. When men get old, you know, they get that great line around the pupil. That's how you know a nigga. Oh, I had a nigger with that gray line round his people trying to tell me he was forty five. One nigga, your eyes tell me you seventy six, looking like you're about to form a cataract, eyes turning gray? You old? All right, y'all. No. I had a friend once um me and heard him funk with each other no more.

But she was dealing with this old man I'm talking about. He was in his seventies and she wasn't even thirty yet. But he was paid, he was super rich, and she was just trying to get some money from him because she needed help with her bills or whatever. She was struggling. And she met him and he was like, I take care of you, and he was he was like paying everything, but she hadn't had sex with him yet and she couldn't do it. She ended up letting them go because

she just couldn't do it. Oh that body, oh, I used to be uh man, I had this old ask dude. May used to drive a fucking Porsche. Nick just riding around. They had no kids, was married once divorce, playing games like a damn twenty five year old, and he all is sixty years old riding around like, yeah, you know what time it is? I just couldn't. I couldn't. Got like I've been up five night. Jada Jada gave Nate that as and then toured the two thousand dollars check.

That was the dumbest shit I ever seen. She was who wrote that? Who wrote that, at least keep the money you already gave up the box, upgrade that apartment. I could never like my limit is fifty something at this age and my thirties, my limit is like maybe fifty. I like my You know, I always be talking to Nick's younger than me. All of them be younger. I don't know what it is. I'm trans age. What can I say that? Yeah, bitch? Why not? All right? Girl? I like your actually like old old dick. I like,

let's make some feels real quick. We'll be back. This is for women and men. I guess y'all only have a little bit of time to find you on somebody before. It's officially cuffing season. So if you are here, let's try outs, tryouts, tryouts right now, yeah, exactly, So it's tryouts and by by Halloween. Look, y'all need to be in a relationship by Halloween. No, no, here's the schedule. I found it online, all right, So coffing season schedule

October one, thirty one. You got your tryout house for coughing. Then the preseason is November one through November November. Coming season starts December one to January fifteen. That's coming season. The playoffs is January sixteenth through February thirteen, and a championship game, bitch, February fourteen, Valentine's Day. That's a championship game. Look, so bottom line, you need you need to have your naked by Halloween, right, so are your bitch whichever one

you too? Right, y'all need to be coughed up by Halloween or you're gonna be out here and cold by yourself, sleeping alone, a little google being the queen that you are in that king size dad by your self. Don't trade places with me, Miss Singley, sent up in that jail. I'll never be cooked. I'll never be coming like the last six years. I don't be cooked during but it's me. I know it's yeah. I was about to say, because I'm pretty sure you'd be having the opportunity to be cuffed.

But if you choose not to be cough, ladies, you won't be cuffed. I'm scared if please tune into last week's episode so you can know why I don't never be cough. I'm a commitment folks. You mean he gonna be over here all the time? Scary, You've got nothing else to do? Like you really like me that much? Like please go home. You're gonna hurt me. You're gonna hurt me, that's what I fear. You can get them

text messages. What you're doing nothing like actually, I am about to go to space and then I'm gonna stop by uh um, Whole Foods after that. Like creating all type of ships you can't come through. I like to blame ship on my therapist. My therapist told me that I can't have no company that say. My therapist told me, all, did you tell you how much to be lying on her?

Like that? No? But she gonna know after this episode, my therapist said, I need to create healthy boundaries, and I should not let no niggas over my house no more. So you can't come over. But she said we could go to State for the eight She said we could go there, make a reservation. So so wait your your therapist said you go hang out with niggas, they just can't come to your house. M hm. She said it ain't safe. It ain't safe. It ain safe, and make safe.

So she ain't say none of that. Ship. I'm just making it up right now as we talked. So y'all, what are y'all doing to prepare for coffing season? Do you have a roster? Do you have some men in mind? Who who's going to Yeah? Yeah, men and women both. I'm talking to both men and women. But you know I talked to market is usually home girls who listen. I'm gonna be up this year. I have decided that I'm gonna let someone like me un till it gets hot outside. I'm gonna let someone really in my space

for a really sire. I'm gonna take Lumberjack pajama pictures on Christmas Eve with a nigga this year. He's gonna be my holiday for the holiday. Like everybody that y'all better get you all a holiday. So you know, I was like, damn, it gotta be like some type of correlation between like winter science cuffing season, Like it has to be a thing, right, Why people, why why is

cuffing season even a thing y'all? So I read it goes back to like caveman times, like the people who founded somebody to meet with during cuffing season, which is hibernation season essentially. So if we just think about ourselves as some fucking bears are caveman, like, you need that person to survive through winter. Like, if you're hibernating by yourself through winter, you're probably gonna be in a state of depression. So you need those hugs and cuddles from somebody.

El Jorn those winter months because it said that you have lower serotonin levels during the wintertime. Mm hmm so serotonin, yeah, So serotonin is like the chemical release in your brain, like that makes you happiest, that makes you happy, happy chemical, right, So in the winter and the colder months, those levels dropped. So if you don't have somebody make you happy during the winter, man, how do you make it through the rest of the year. Sounder, my vibrator blowing up. Chris, Hey, miss,

I was trying to put my vibrator. So thank god for like the chargeable vibrators now. But when the chords be sucking up, man, it's just how do your card be sucking up? I don't know my cord, No, but you don't use the cord the cord, the charger chord, like the cord must have a short in it, so like you know, sometimes like your cell phone, like the port on your cell phone might be fucking up, so you got to wrap the cord around the phone like

you'd be wrapping the cord around it. Did I had that ship like propped up in the bed perfectly, and then I couldn't move because now I'm waiting for it to charge enough so I can fucking use it. So your dick was on the side of the bit charging up like a damn phone with a short. Ain't nothing more frustrated boy, When you're trying to use that damn vibrant and ate your batteries dead or your should ain't charging all right? What about when you're using it and

it's starting to like go slower because the battery dying. Uh? And I bagged my dick on the side of the being like, wooo, work bitch. My ships stopped working completely while I was in the middle of it, and it was nothing I can do. Look, I still I still got that Rolls ship. But that ship Aaron takes my couci. I don't like it. Um. I don't like it either. It's not my favorite. People love that thing, but I just feel like that thing is gonna make my couchie

no good for you. Yeah, it irritates it like, it just makes it feel like I don't know, I don't like it. It's it feels like somebody's sucking on it. But then it also feels like it's scratching. It's gonna pull it off. Yeah, like it's scratching it a little bit. You didn't got yours on the high setting. You need to turn that thing down and look up and your glitter is gonna be inside the hole. Feeling like now that make you come but it's like real intense, but

at the same time it hurts. I don't like that. Look, I'm about to start practicing. Um. You know how they say men should practice like seemen retention. Mm hmm, Like I want to practice. I don't know and I don't want to say that because men they're not practicing abstinence. They be having sex, but they just don't ejaculate. Come. Yeah, yeah, I know some people like that. They don't want to come. They want to have sex, but they don't want to have sex until they come. Yeah. I don't know how

as a woman I'm supposed to do that. But I do want to reach a higher level of consciousness. So maybe I just can't have sex. Yeah, just put your pussy your ice season for that place. I really can count how many times this year I had sex in the first place. I'm just saying, but can I go a year without having sex? Let's try starting it. Look, I got a friend. I'm gonna bring her on the show too. My friend she did three sixty five no sex. Oh we should bring I don't know if she wants

us to say her name. Um, you know the girl who does the waxes. That's our friend. Oh yeah, she she leaves a guy. She ain't had no dicking, like two or three years or something like that. None. I told her the other day when she was doing my wigs, I like, your pussy gonna close up. You better, you better do something with it. It's gonna draw up and close. Then what you're gonna do? They say, if you don't use it, you lose it. Your pussy gonna wake up

and your pussy gonna be gone. I don't know if I could do that long, but I really feel like I can do after this year. I really feel like I can go without having sex for a long period of time. Mm hmm. But that's damn that's crazy. I better come out a millionaire on the other end of it, bitch, because that's some that's a major fucking focus. I like sex though. I like sex too, but I just I don't know. I just I'm not in a position to I don't feel like nobody knew for real, and I'm

just trying to get to know somebody else. I don't feel like it. I just don't. So I'm just stuck in a in a weird place and I don't really I don't. I like sex, but I can go without sex if I don't have somebody have sex with, I can go with outside the rules the rules. No, I don't even want to do that. Like I want to not use the vibrator, so bitches don't be getting stuck all wintered with these vibraries. Man, your pussy, Yes, you can do that. What they're gonna do? What else they're

gonna do? They can retain their essence. I don't know. Okay, you're fucking granny. Your ancests is watching you, bitch that I help you. I don't like that they watching you have sex, girl, they watch you play your pussy. They'll be watching as long as they don't say nothing. We cool. No, I really feel like they'd be coming in the room like and they leave out. They're probably oh, and then they can just go like I'll come back later. I don't think they really be said. I'd be like, every

time I come here, this such herself. I can't even have a mental conversation with this home. She here playing with the pussy again. Stop, Hey, that's probably who killed my vibrated the other night. I hate you an like enough is enough, it kills your ship. Shame. No, I'm joking. I don't be out here like, don't I know our listeners probably think I'm crazy as hell, Like I just be out here running niggas away and playing with my

vagina all day. But that's not true. You run niggas away after they played with your vagina go to hell, Like, don't get it twisted. That's not mama, Mama. If you're listening, I don't know what you talking about. Mm hmm, So all right, do you want to be cough during coffing season? Um, I'm at a point in my life where I don't care to be cuffed right now at all. Actually, yeah, you just got out of being cuffed for a moment,

and I and probably to that relationship. I was in a relationship, you know, I had a year, I had a year in between. But for the most part, man, I've been in relationships. I'm sick of that ship. I'm sorry, I'm sick of being in a relationship. I just want to focus on myself. So maybe that's how I'll spend the winter. And then by is sucking on and popping on these niggas. I just want to spend some time with myself. Uh, maybe I'll not play with my COUCHI

as much. Um, sorry, because I like coming, but I feel like I have more energy if I want to play in my pussy before, like if I plan to go to the gym, if I want to do that before I go to the gym, like I'm not going to the gym. They don't do that to you. They don't take a lot of energy from you. That's why I usually do if I get to sleep, I don't. Yeah, I don't ever do it in the day. And I ain't doing nothing else after I do that, Yeah, because then it just it definitely drains you. You want to

go back to sleep? Are you all right? So let me ask you this. Do you use your vibrator and then after you've done you immediately go wash it and then put it up. Or do you put it up and then wash it and wash it again? Yeah? Me too. If you if you got if you get up to wash it right away after you come you didn't come good? What explained that? That wasn't a good nut? Because how you got to get right up? Look? I slide that

shirt right into my pillow. I put it. I put that ship right back into the little bag and come in and throw that in the nice stay. No, I need my dick by me. I put it under the pillow. But the next year I'll take like a um like alcohol on the paper towel and and clean it off, let it dry. I'll just on the bathroom and watch it with some soap, dry that thing off and get

the hey boo. Like I had a friend say he told me once that, um, a female friend of his told him he should have like toys and ship like that at his house for women. How would you feel if you go to a man's house like, Okay, that that does tell me, like you know what you want, right, you know what you like. But how would you feel if you go to a dude's house and he just got all these toys and ship ready for you? I don't.

I went to uh hang out with this guy a few years ago, and he had fucking ankle and arm cuffs on each side of the bed, on the headboard and the footboard. It was like cuffs on chains hanging front the bed. This's the first time you work with him? No, it wasn't. It was the first time I had fun with him in like ten years though like a long time. He had definitely elevated. Did in his sexual experience clearly did him? Or you got the hell about it? No, he did not put no cups on me. We didn't

even do it. But I saw it. I saw that ship hanging on the side of the bed. Maybe he liked to get off. You know some of these things, like to get choked the funk out while you sucking him. I like that I choked the ship out. You should knew right now. It's like like I like to ride and choke niggers out. So I had told my ex that I don't be riding him because he was like smaller than me, and I just felt like I was so much bigger than him. It just wasn't comfortable for me.

But if somebody felt like he was hurting him, not hurting him, but just the visuals of it, Like I just feel so much bigger than you. But when somebody like, not a little bit bigger than me, but maybe just like um, just a little bigger like I can. Really it's like sports. It's like a fucking athletic, fucking Olympic riding dick for me, and I'm gonna chuck you outside while I do it. I don't like laying on niggas that are smaller than me because their legs hurt. It

feel like you're laying on a remote. You get your little ass you hurt underneath and look so big. Niggas only applied for the winter. Please, you gotta be big just don't be no remote. I can't do that skinny gass legs, low sperm, biggest shaped like sperm with them little legs and like a big top big up. Yeah. So don't skip uh leg day, leg day, yeah man, because they hurt. I feel like a pencil just you're laying on the top of a motherfucking number two. Yeah.

So what else we got to say about off in season? Um, just find a nigga bye by October, by October thirty one. If you don't have a man by Halloween, like, you're really gonna be funked up out here. If you don't have a woman by Halloween. Like men act like for whatever reason nowadays is exactly they don't need a bit. But listen, they'll they'll cover you right now and break up with you right before Chris. That's the thing. Like, that's really what's like supposed to happen. No, No, it's

supposed to be after Christie. Oh right, right right. You need your mate or whoever you decide to cuff like, you need them through um Valentine's Day, right, So the objective is to get somebody for Christmas Thanksgiving, you know, um Valentine's Day. And then should you be free for the summer. Essentially, I think I'm you know what, I figure out what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna have like a little boo, but I'm not gonna cough him though, and he's not gonna come for me. We're just gonna

like do our things. And then on Christmas, I'm gonna take the Lumberjack pajama picture with one of my gay niggers, one of my gay friends, and he could be just like my stand in for the picture. What if your gay friend has somebody he's coughing and don't want to do that. What if he done to take pictures with you? Because then he canceled, Because that's the whole point. You don't find the time to come take take pictures with you because he having fun for coffing season, you try

to do photo ops. Why don't you just get a nigga for the winter. I'm not interested in getting a nigga for the winter. Do you want a nigga for the winter? Um, be honest with our listeners, please, do you want a man? The fine? Want yo? Listen? You know what? This is what men do when they're they don't want to take accountability for ship. Dog, I'm scared of these niggas. Man, you ain't scared of these niggas. You're scared of yourself. I'm scared. I said what I said.

I'm scared of these niggas that we hurt my feelings. I don't want my feelings hurt. But while somebody's hurting your feelings, there's somebody that probably wanted to be with you whose feelings you're hurting. So here's my bottom line for puffing season. Bitch, you better get what who likes you. That's what y'all need to be doing going forward. Because the nigga you like his future Okay, he's gonna play

with your liture gonna play. I'm talking about future like niggas, okay, uh yeah, Like they're gonna be those type of men. You have to get where who likes you for the winter. If you want a babe for cuffing season, there's somebody who likes you. While you're chasing the person who ain't giving you no time to day that then that person is chasing you and you're curving them for this nigga that's unattainable. Which one are you gonna do? Which That's

what I'm feeling, Marge Simpson, grown you watch too much TV. Man, It's wrong with you. That's how I feel. Why So all right, I I think I I'm also I like a little chase. I like a little challenge. I like to feel like I'm gonna change him on my song. I'm gonna get him in here. I'm gonna get this nigger who think the future in my house, like Melvin from Baby Boy in here, naked in a apron, making me eggs and bacon, singing love songs and ship. That's

what I want. That's what I want to do. But the as soon as I get them like that, then I'd be like, start for you to go, But the game is over, sending you back to the streets. Baby. Yeah, but you can at least keep them to Valentine's Day so you can have you can get your pictures for Christmas. You can get you a nice Valentine Valentine's Day President, and then you can start an argument. You can start an argument. Come made one and like it really march right?

So what what did it say? Coffing season ends? A what's it when? Doesn't end? It just said that um coffence hold, let me go back this. The preseason was November one to thirty. Comfing season is December one through Little December one through January, and then the playoffs is the sixte through the thirt and the championship game is Valentine's Day. Okay, so it goes through January one. We previously discussed because, like you know, your New year resolution

usually be like lose weight, all these different things. So how do you do that when you also maybe if you're not married, That's what I'm saying. So if you're dating, how do you do how do you reach your New year goals while in a relationship? Or maybe your goal maybe to get somebody for the new year. I don't know what it is, but you can't focus on you and somebody else, all right, you always want to be better at the new year, and then you'd be looking

at them that you paid during coup of season. I can do. You picked the a v nigger, That's probably what happened the availability. That's what you're telling me to do, right, Pick the one who wants you. Then you just be staring at him, like what can I say to this man to get him the funk out of my house right now, and then he'd be like, why are you looking at me like that? Nothing shame. That's when you go that's when you go through that and find it easy.

This is so toxic. All of it look toxic. Be fun sometimes, all right, it'd be fun, it'd be real fun and took should get real. But if you're trying to get rid of that's why I'm going to that niggah. I don't go into somebody's phone, and so I really really really want them out to out of my life because you know you're gonna always find some ship in that cellphone. So look, February, y'all need to be trying to figure out how to hack that Instagram, how to get in that cell phone, so you can come out

on top of the argument. You want cause to get the funk away for that nigga for the summer. Here's good, good bad advice, like a j and Timman like because please believe you even keeping in contact with that bitch who didn't want him for cuffing season, right, All of this is jokes, y'all. We don't really like I really don't feel this way. I do want a serious boom that I could have throughout the year, not just coffing season. But it's just more fun to joke about it. You know.

If you can't joke about it, what the fund can you do? So I don't know, uh, and we have a look, am I joking? I'm not joking. I'm thinking of these thinking this girl, I'm so sick of him, but I just want to fall in love with myself. I set to God, that's beautiful. Cuff your that's all right, that's our good advice. Cuff yourself this cuffing season. If nobody else, if you aren't living in love with yourself the way you know you should be, then just love

yourself this comfing season. Cuff yourself and do and do the things that make you feel good and make you look good and make you be your best self. Yeah, because even though your serotonin me drop during the winter months, you there's a lot of things that you could do to keep it high, like working out, meditating, just centering yourself, focusing on yourself in a positive way. You can do those things. They don't gotta be some dick, right, Go go to a therapist and work on healing from any

trauma that exists within your life. All those good things are. That's a healthy cuffing, Stephen, if you're not coffing the nigger or a bit. If we look how we turned that around and made it beautiful. Cup yourself, ladies, man whoever Grannie's auntie, everybody, And look when y'all get to uh, when y'all get to Thanksgiving dinner, at Christmas dinner and

people ask you all, why are you getting married? And when you tell them money fucking business because you want to be a single parent, like they are, get out my business. Thank you, Grannie. Don't cut your grandmama out. But yeah, like aunties, they can get it. Yeah, um, I don't. I think my family has given up on that coach. Ask me no more? There you too? We are you gonna have some babies? What are you getting married now? And Thanksgiving they'd be like you got any weed? Yo,

you're the wait weed lady for the holidays? There there, grandma weight. I don't even bring this ship for all y'all. Oh that's one good thing I did get from Oregon somebody, because you know Oregon, everything is legal or well, they've decriminalized most of the drugs now, so bitch, all you smell is marijuana from top to bottom. So hey, y'all, we're gonna do a random sex fact right quick. But before we get into it, let's take a break to pay das bills honey to jump into our random sex fact.

I actually want to read the article I was talking about tam for coffing seasons. So the article says couping season first makes its mark in October with cute fall dates like an instagram worthy or kid picking season. Sixth month romance usually ends around March, so new singles can flirt freely over the summer. This allows for people to be cuffed during the coziest time of the year, but single during the hotter months so they can participate in

hot Girls Slash Boys. Summer am Cofing season is based on the idea that people similar to bears like to mate or get together once the temperatures drop. Data for Facebook showcase that people tend to change their relationship status to take in October through April and single for the for the remaining months. The data is separated into three categories based on age, but the facts are the same across the board. Covering season also involves natural biological urges.

Studies have shown that serotonin, like I was saying, a chemical released by your brain to make you happier. Levels drop in the colder winter months and tend to rise again in the summer and spring. Many people may be looking for something or someone to add joy to their life. On an even deeper biological level, cuffing may go back to the caveman days. According to Charles Darwin's classic survival of the Fittest theory, only the best survived. That being

said Cole went to could kill someone. So couples in the Caveman era that got together and had offspring had better chances of surviving and keeping their gene pool alive. People that didn't mate during the winter had a higher chance of dying. A season now dedicated to cute dates may stem from literally just wanting to survive. So look, if y'all trying to survive the winter, you need some body like you're gonna need somebody else. And that is

the tale of how scorpios were ready. Like let me tell y'all, I love scorpios, but I hate them, Like scorpios gonna suck the ship out of you. You can, you can count on that, and they'd be like real life demons, and they'll spend a whole winter making babies. But them niggas is demons. That's that. That's all you're good for. Scorpios is a good lay, that's it. Talking about the people like that anyway. I like women scorpios.

They'd be nice people. They kind of be kind of growth though, But the men who know they are some have you telling your mama and your family you don't know him, like me, Demon Dick, y'all don't know him, leave him alone? You hide in your relationship with a scorpio. How many y'all I had the relationship y'all got with a scorpio because you got you ain't fun with him, no more? Right, And but you still fucking like them. Scorpios will possess your ask for real. So yeah, and

they don't say much. They only tell you what the funk they want you to know, and they's gonna be sucking shoot at you. You can get out on that sound of nothing else. So what y'all doing, y'all coughing or nothing for the season, Come for yourself. If you don't come for nobody else, definitely cup for yourself. That's the moral of the story, right, Um, so we don't

have a dumb bit story for the day. Look, we're gonna have some dumb bit stories for the winter, or maybe before winter, because that dude you thought was gonna be your winter day, he's gonna start, he's gonna start picking up. He's gonna start spending time with whoever he's planning on coffing for the winter. Me, you're gonna feel like shift. Look, so, if you guys enjoyed this episode, right, please do it every Thursday on the I Heart Radio

app or wherever the fuck you get your podcast. Asked that this is one of your we Talked Back TV co host A J. Follow us on Just Say My Name Too back and Tam Bam. Look follow us on Instagram and we Talked Back podcasts on Instagram. I'm a J Holiday two point oh. And it's the big Tam Bam at Tam Bam on Instagram. Hold on note it's bam. Yeah. All right, y'all that works. Look, we love you, We love you. Thank guys coming out. God, bless you, good night, bless you, good night.