Don't Size Me Up with Mia the Boss

She is a super duper serial entrepreneur. She's a plus size model. As y'all can see, she's fucking beautiful, and she is the creator of one of your favorite blogs, Diary of a Fashionista fashion I don't have it anymore. No, it's just me at boss dot com now period, just me the box dot com. Yeah, I got rid of that, I go like a while ago. So all right, tell our listeners all about you? What you do? Why are

you so sad? Yeah? So, I mean I started off blogging back in like two thousand and eight when I was in college. I studied journalism and mass communications, and I did not want to be like, you know, a typical like news reporter, hard news. Like my mom thought I was going to school to be a news anchor, Like I just killed all her dreams. But I just always wanted to work for like Harper's Bazaar. It was just really cool magazine back in the day called Swede.

It was just always fashion and writing and then just being you know, a plus size girl, it was just nothing. You know, I didn't have any like anything I could kind of resonate too. So I was like, I'm about to just figure this out on my own, and I started a blog. It was like really high fashion at first, and then I remember this girl, she's really popular in

Her name is Gabby Fresh. She interviewed me on her blog and I was like, you know what, I need to start talking about stuff that actually relates to me. So then that's where I decided. I was like, I'm going to be a plus sized blogger. And you know, this is before Instagram. This is like between that air

of like my Space and Facebook. I just only had Facebook to kind of promote myself and then my blog just started taking off and taking off, and then when Instagram came about, I think that's like, you know, just when everything just kind of started falling into place, and I'm like, dang, you know, it's twenty twenty three, fifteen years later, and the Internet just allowed me to do so much cool stuff. Fifteen years. When's the last time

he worked for somebody? So um twenty eighteen March twenty eighteen, that was like my last real job. I worked for Sprint and I just went to work one day and I was just like I'm this literally went to work. I just came back from Atlanta and I had like a great weekend. I hated my manager, Fuck you Freddy. Um you're saying people name, but I already is a huge fan of the show Fuck you Freddie. But no, Like, I just went to work one day and I was

just like I had no plan, like at all. I knew it had like a certain amount of money rolling in for like the next two months, but I had quit Sprint and then I was like, hey, We're gonna be an influencer full time. I remember like May twenty eighteen. I was like the first time I paid like all my bills was just like influencer money, and I was crying.

I was like, damn, I could do this like for real. Um, but yeah, it's just it's been a long road and I'm just like, dang, you know, I'm all the stuff I really wanted to do, like in some shape form or fashion. It came true, you know, like I didn't write for like a fashion magazine, but I still got to fulfillment doing things like my own way, telling my own story. We got fifty million questions for you, but I'm ready the first we gotta get into our stupid

internet news. Yes, please have a slip of that simply. Yeah, I'm so excited to try. If I saw this like on Twitter. Okay, let's let's se let's see. Hey, oh my god, it takes just like the regular like lemonade this, but it's gonna get you. It does in a real way. Did you give me a little a little buzz? All right? Stupid internet news? All right, So I gotta start with Jonathan made my husband in some properly please missus major? Miss okay, missus major. Do you want to do the

story about now? Go ahead? You can go ahead, you know, because I did a public statement. He's in some trouble this weekend. This past weekend. Um, he was accused of assaulting his real girlfriend. I don't think he was there, According to DMZ law what is dmz D. According to t m Z Excuse Me, law enforcement says that the alleged victim accusing Jonathan Major's assault assault is his girlfriend. The couple was reportedly in a taxi when the argument started.

They reportedly got into the altercation after his girlfriend called another woman texting the actors and who was the other woman that was you? Yes? Why you mean? I wonder who was? I think? Because listen, I imagine that this man has not gotten attention from black women. Did you see as Yeah, it's a glow up. It's a major clone, right, Listen.

I love Jonathan Majors. I be posting him on my story like that's and people were actually sending me like this clip these uh articles like yes, like this is my real nigga, Like yes, I had a persement. He's that right, he is. But I just can't believe he's like white girls. Well, yes, I think him until recently, and now he's getting the attention of the women he probably really wanted in the first place. He guilty, He is not guilty. It's but he was the one that

called the police. And he called the police. Yes, but why he walking out there saying the black man guilty? What happened? Why? But why he walking out of court with a hat, a shirt or a hat that said freedom or something on it, like freedom we all want for me. But he's maybe he's done with these white women. He about to come on home to the Motherland. That's what it is. Come on, we like you now, we like you now. Like black men, he gives real like slaves. Yeah,

he's that kind of fun. I've never seen black men in a frenzy like this when it comes to this black man. For whatever reason, I saw black men condemning him already, Like, y'all remember the black guy who got murdered by his white girlfriend in Miami? Was that last he was my dream? Like yeah, And he had spent a lot of time disparage and black women on Twitter from high school. You know, black men were even like coming to you know, back, come to back for him.

But Jonathan Majors is like, y'all really hate this nigga for what reason? Is he that fine? Just that a man? Fine? Unlessen we can move on. He is that fine. He's like his nose spread all the way across the space, A Bell peppered, I love bell Peppers. We shall see what. All right, there's a clip that's out. I know y'all saw it. I know y'all saw it. That a guy went around. I don't know if he has a podcast,

but he was outside with his video camera. But he went around asking people did they want to get a dinner with Soldier Boy or two hundred and fifty dollars with food stamps, and everybody, everybody that they posted, because I don't imagine everybody said two hundred fifty dollars in food stamps, but everybody that he posted was like, I mean, who was Soldier Boy? I get two fifty dollars? They playing big break, they playing him. I would definitely go

to dinner with Soldier Boy. Yeah, Like, come on, he was a major like marketing guru in middle school. I don't know if people realize that it now, like he really got shit popping on YouTube for a lot of artists, and they disrespected him. I know, you look a little like crackheadish now, but Soldier Boy always been a ship as far as I'm concerned, I would definitely I would have went to dinner with him two five hundred bally specifus fuck, you gonna get a card in the eggs milk, right,

you know, I get what I would have. I would have went to the dinner just so I could laugh. I just think he's like a character, Like, I know, he's gonna smell like cigarettes in there, right, ain't gonna be telling us about how he shot up some ships. I was like, he was the first person to do this. Was like, okay, I'm here for it's a lot. I think majority of people would have went to dinner with soldier boys. Yeah it was two hundred fifty dollars of

food Sam. Yeah. They was definitely playing, Like, yeah, stop playing with soldier I got a funny story. So this guy used to date uh maybe I don't know. Maybe five years after we met, he admitted to me that he actually hacked my Facebook page and he was like, yeah, you was in that message and soldier boy And I'm like what, I'm driving from Chicago back to Saint Louis, Like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm going years back and my Facebook messages at this time, I'm not

even on Facebook, but I still have it. While I'm driving. I'm in two thousand. I don't know ten at this point in messages, and I see a message to Soldier Boy that said, Soldier boy, I love you so much. Pitcher was my niece. My niece massage Facebook, but a nigga that hacked my Facebook. But he was like, yeah you was. He was. I ain't trying to power that pussy for Soldier boy, Like why first of all, why

did you hack my shit? I don't even want to see my Facebook messages from that time, and he had to have hacked my shit like when he just met me. Have y'all ever been in like a celebrity's dms Kanye. I'm always telling him to call me like nigga called me so we can talk about how I give you some advice. But he used to write me back, used to message message with but ROSSI really write me back though I was so in love with him like I was.

That's where my name came from, me and the Boss because I wanted to talk about and I can't remember why I was messaging. I think he was in town I loved. I wanted to be a uh like like the black Bottle girl because I just wanted that that varsity jacket he was like, start posting, put it in the work. I was like, Nigga sent me in the Champagne right period. I just wanted the jacket. I didn't want to post this ship. But Rick Ross, if you're listening, this was I was. Yeah. I was definitely very very

young when that happened. When I jumped in there just on some bullshit. I wasn't even serious. Ye I'm like, Nigga, my birthday coming up? What's up? Yeah, same birthday. A lot of need he needs some he needs some real guidance, and he needs some real friends. So I just want to be Kanye's friend. Ye want to be your friend. So I just saw this come up. Aaron Hernandez's brother. I don't know if y'all remember that, the former NFL player who actually committed suicide in prison after being convicted

of multiple murders. His brother apparently throw a brick through ESPN's headquarters and with a note attached it says to all media outlets, It's about time, y'all, It's about time you all realize. He spelled it r E A l E y E s that theft realize YEA. He liked third Eye in the middle of the forehead, like y'all niggas need to realize the effect media has on all family members. Since you're a worldwide leader, maybe you could lead how media and messages are delivered brick by brick,

Clean it up, yours truly, Dennis ja Hernandez. So, of course he's been arrested. Well, he admitted to being at ESPN, but didn't wish to speak about the incident. Dennis was advised to stay off ESPN's campus or he could get arrest Oh. Actually, so he wasn't arrested yet. You could get arrested or charge of trust passet. They feel bad for him. I'm kind of that's kind of sad that

whole situation is all think he committed suicide. It's just rather that whole story just when it came out, you know, because that, you know what, that brings up a conversation about CTE and things like that. Because there was a guy in Charlotte just recently last year who he was an x NFL player. I don't know his name, I can't think of it, but a newly x NFL player who has some mental illness all of a sudden, and he killed his doctor. His doctor's wife and their two

grandkids and the housekeeper. Yeah. Oh and people working on the air condition outside. Wait, I saw this in the news. Oh my goodness. I didn't know that was in Charlotte though. Yeah. Yeah, like four meal, like right outside of Charlotte. And it just brings up a conversation about CT and what there was boys putting their body through to get that money. Man, Because do you think an Hernandez would have been the way he was had he not been in I think

did you watched that documentary? He was a killer? Yes? And was he a killer before he got into n And when you add money to ego and stuff like that, people get kind of wild. I feel like oftentimes celebrities people and in sports and stuff like that, they kind of go under the radar. They are not exempt from being serial killers and sociopaths and psychopaths. They're not exempt, but nobody's looking at them, you know what I'm saying. So they actually have the means to get away with

a lot of the ship. They could be serial killers, but nobody looking at them. Right. I remember it was like a decapitated body found in Hollywood Hills, like Middle Eastern person, Who the fuck did it. Nobody ever got arrested for it, but they just when you got a bunch of money, you're sitting around and thinking like, damn, what have I not done? Right? But that's crazy? Yeah? Is that how we're end in stupid internet news with murder? Murder? Yeah, we're gonna take a break on that note. It'll be

right back. Okay, guys, we're back and we're not talking about that crazy. I want to talk to you Mia. Yeah, what's all right? So let's talk about relationships and being full figure? All right, let's talk all right? So first let me ask you, do you like the word full figure or do you prefer something? I feel like there's just so many words that people have just added. I mean, plus eze is coool. I know, I don't. Some people don't like that. Some people don't like the word fat.

I thought that's what full figure. It's just too much. It's too much talking, like, there's too many words plus size. So what you would be? Okay? If I said fat? I feel like that's offensive. If I'm fighting, if see it's it's like it's like one of those things it has like a it can have like a positive and a negative, like connotation. But plus size is just like you know, the word society has deemed you know, like so we go with that one plus size versus full figure.

You know, people start saying voluptuous and all that other stuff. Just stop. It's just too much. You're doing too much, too much. So do you feel like have you ever felt like being plus size has hindered you from like having successful relationships, are finding a partner forever? I mean in some aspects. I mean, for the record, I get niggas period period. But for the record, we all consider plus size based on the BMI and all child women.

But um I always that's so when it comes to like that, like I know, like people always say like plus size day. I remember, like they tried to kill me on Twitter and they told me I had pretty plus sized privilege. I'm like, y'all just adding labels stuff. Yeah, that's a whole the topic. But I I mean I feel like, yes, being a plus sized woman, there are things you know that you I had to learn, Like, I mean, I'm thirty four now, I'm not everybody's type,

just like everybody isn't my type. But I just feel like it all kind of goes by, like you know, how you present stuff. I remember I had like this guy tell me I was like trying to talk to his frin. He was like, oh, he don't like big girls, and I was like fuck you. Then, like I mean, okay, whoop do you do? Like it wasn't gonna hurt my feelings.

But I think, like maybe when I was like in middle school, high school with a little bit different, but I mean just now just kind of coming to know like what I like, I can see the the issues people have and just because I feel like maybe I mean I'm not in a successful relationship, but I mean I've been able to like navigate dating. You just have

to date who likes you. So I think that's the thing that people have to also understand too, is like you can't get mad if like a guy that you're going after a girl you're going after if they don't like you based off your physical appearance. I mean, because because I can be like, you know, I don't like skinny, light skin dudes. I like dark skinned guys, so soobody could easily that's fine. That is a very nice guy. I mean, I have my own his hair is really nice.

So it's like I think, like I see that, like, you know, the struggles and even like for myself sometimes I'd just be like, Okay, what if I look different, maybe like you would like me. I'll be like, why would you want to change the way you look to fit? You know? Or you know, like I've had guys like say stuff because I mean I had my weight has like fluctuated and things like that, and now like I've

really been in the gym. I remember this dude was like in my snapchat dms, like somebody used to fuck with, like for real, and he's like, oh, I see you, you're losing weight. And then he'll make like little comments like oh, when you're gonna get your body done? I'm like, you're not the niket for me. Like, and even if I decided to do that, Like what would ever in your life make you think you can't even touch the

new body? The current body? Like right, yeah, so so do you feel like um body positivity sometimes promotes an unhealthy lifestyle because there's a conversation about no. Absolutely, I think the whole body positivity movement has been totally gentrified and it's just it's just a shit show now, Like I remember, like it when that whole movement came about.

It was supposed to be you know, like to empower like you know, women who go beyond like the regular size, plus size women just you know, to love themselves, to embrace themselves. Now, I always see the argument people say when it comes like, oh, it's promoting unhealthiness. But it's just like, okay, like nobody says anything to people who you know, who are intorexic or whatever the case may be. I just I don't know what society's thing is about always picking on fat people. I just don't get it.

I'm like, if they're happy, you know whatever. Now me, on the other hand, I mean, yeah, there is I feel like there's a point when all right, you know you're pre diabetic, things like that. But it's just like I don't think it promotes an unhealthy lifestyle. I think it's just a community for people to feel like some type of togetherness so they can just feel, you know, like feel some type of love, some type of sense

of like belonging. Because like, yeah, because growing up, I mean I didn't have like any type of positive plus sized role models. I mean, like Monique, no shade to her, but that wasn't somebody, you know, who I looked up to, like Monique and Nicky Parker. I just always felt like there was every time it was like a plus sized person in the media, they were always funny, yea, the Big Mama and yeah, and I was just like, you know, I'm cute, I'm glamorous, I like fashion. There was never

anything like that. So I'm just like, Wow, fast forward to today, you have so much representation. So but just kind of back in what I said about it just being gentrified. Like when you go to Instagram you type in like hashtag body positivity, You'll see all these Caucasian women who might be like a size twelve, and they're hunched over so they can make their roles look pronounced,

and they're like, oh, I embraced my body. I'm like, girl, No, you don't, like you can go on Zara and find something aware, you know, Like, So, I just feel like I've personally just kind of like in my influencer journey, I've kind of I learned the plus sized community is very weird, and I just I developed my own lane once I kind of figured out, like, you know, I

found my niche of what I wanted to do. I was just like, I don't really need all these labels to define I am, like, you know what I'm doing. You know it works for me, right. We all know men men love plus size women. I talk about this before. I've talked about this before. How one of my exes he would always cheat with, Like I used to have a whole problem, Like if I would have saw you, like out in public somewhere, I'm like, I know, like

he likes this. You know what I'm saying, Like he, But that's so crazy because like that's one but they don't they think like they want to get they would get shamed better friends. It's like that's the thing. No, but some people have like a BBW fetish And I'm just like, I think men who have had big moms that's what they attracted to. I don't know, but I don't like guys like I love big girls. I like

chubby girls. I'm like, I'm sorry, baby, I'm not that one for you, right this one this is different over here. I don't want to be fetish sized or anything like that because, like you, you always know those guys who who have those vibes, and I'm just like, that's never going to be the guy for me, Like, I just that's just not what I like. I'm like, I go where I'm celebrated it like, but I mean, isn't that celebrating you know? If he said I like chubby girls,

I like big girls. But it's like those are those guys are always real creepy, like every single time. Like it's just and that's another thing too. It's like it's one of those things. It's like as a plus size woman, like we experienced that and you're like, oh, here it goes a guy who has like the BBW obsession and I hate that term. I'm like, you didn't about to call me a beauty video. I'm not a porn category,

but but no, there's God embrace. It's just like it's just so cringe to me sometimes because I just feel like what like I don't know, I just feel like I'm not like the typical plus size girl, you know, like I'm that's not what my brand's about. I don't have to be on a soapbox every day saying I'm fad, this is my struggle, this is my fight, Like and there are some girls that is that's their thing. What

about Lizzo? How do you feel about Lizzo and platform and how she feels like I've always been like just kind of like on the fence about Lizzo. It's like,

you know, her music is great. I feel like sometimes she she does you know, she is a little bit too extra, but it's just like, you know, the time that she came, like she is fitting that she's fitting that role for you know, society needed someone to feel that, you know, that role of like, you know, she's a powerful plus sized woman who you know makes really good music, appeals to millions the masses. There's nobody else that's really ever you know, been like her. So for for that,

you know, I give it to her. I'm even like the brand that she has called Yitty Um. I mean, I think that's really cool too because I saw like non plus sized people are wearing it as well. But it's just like I just hate that as a plus size woman, especially if someone you know who's just like in the in the mainstream met like you always just have to talk about like you think she's definite struggle.

I mean, but when she started working out, here goes people talking about like, oh, you're you're trying to lose weight. I'm just like it's like you damned if you do, you damned, you're dough. It's like you're gonna condemn me if that I'm fat and you're telling me you need to lose weight, you need to work out, and then boom, you see me working out. Oh, you're you're trying to lose too much weight. You're gonna you're gonna lose your

fan base. You're not really promoting. So it's just like black people say, you're gonna look like a crackhead child. So I just and that's that weight. That's what people say. First of all, I don't believe in big bones, Like no, it's the scientific. There is nobody that's big bones. Like I'm from I'm from Cincinnati, Ohio. I didn't hear none of these phrases until I moved to Charlotte when I was twelve. I was like, big bone, red bone, What does all these bones in the South? Like everybody's just

making up all this stuff. And then I was like, ain't nobody got no big bones? Like said when we died, like all of our skill baby look the same. So you don't feel like losing weight will hurt your brain at one point, So like um. In twenty sixteen, I had um weight loss surgery and I lost like a good amount of weight, but I was very scared about it because I didn't want to lose weight like too fast.

My dad's like, you're gonna look like Star Jones and that just it's good now though her head was so big, and so that was like my worst fear. It's like I didn't want to have like, you know, like that drastic that drastic change. I mean over time, you know, like I started gaining weight back, but then like two years ago, I really ignited my knee. I just you know, just going to the gym or something that I like.

But that was always, you know, a common thing. They're like, oh, you're trying to lose weight, you know, because at the time my blog was called Diary of a Fat Shinista. They're like, you know, how are you gonna try to I hate people you want to get skinny. I could never see myself, you know, being skinny. I'm like, I'm five ten. I weighed like three fifteen right now, three fourteen actually, but I could just never see myself like

being skinny. I mean I've always you know, I built the brand upon being a plus size girl showing plus size girls. You know, to be confident, to be sexy, you can do, you know anything, like your weight doesn't define you. Just be unapologetically you. And even now, like I mean, I'm older, I'm just like you know, people change, so it's like you can't hold people to the same place that they were, you know, ten years ago. So somebody decides, you know, make that change at the end

of the day. You know, it's like we're responsible for ourselves. My health was always going to come before a brand or you know, an image I'm trying to uphold. And then just the same way, you know, you get brand deals, you'll get other brand deals. Right, everything's about evolution, transforming. When Tim and I came up, you know, we thought about this episode. You remember the girl Monique curring her

boyfriend off of Love After. I don't watch the show, but I've seen enough on Instagram to know what everything is about. Like we were like thinking about that because I'm looking at the comments online. I'm like, like, why do y'all think she can't get him? Like look at him, Like what the fuck are y'all seeing? Um? And so she took the social media and she was like, I don't know why people are so obsessed with my weight

and my relationship with Derek. Y'all get on the internet and be fake caring about mental health and protecting black women, and all I see on these blog sites is black men and women in the comments bullying another black woman about her weight. This this show was filmed months ago. Me and Derek have been together almost three years. He loves it here, Okay, he's living living our truth. Love is love. She concluded, Like, why do y'all feel like I don't know a plus sized woman who doesn't have

a man and who has not had a man ever? Right, I say the same thing. I'm like, dam everybody got a man self? Hey, whatever I do exactly so shit, That's how I feel. I just I think it just it just really bothers people, because like I feel like whenever someone sees like a plus size woman who's happyy, I'm sorry, who's happy and she's thriving, you know, she's confident, It just it bothers them. Like my biggest pet peeve

is when someone say I admire your confidence. I'm like, you wouldn't say that to somebody who wasn't big, right, And they have little self esteem and people and they don't and they don't know that that that's really like a dig, Like I admire your confidence. So like I used to always go in on people. I used to be like the Rihanna clapback queen on Instagram. But now I'm just like I'm just living my life. You know,

I don't care. But it's just like I don't see why people care, Like, you know, if they're together and they're happy, you know why like why is that affecting your life? How is that going to change your current situation. It's just they just don't understand the dynamics and they're just like, well, how or what it if? I'm just like let them be happy, like they got a lot of drama, but if it's working for them, like body,

y'all care? Right, But when someone says they admire your confidence, I don't think they mean it as a dig because I feel like people assume that if you're plus size, that you're supposed to not feel love yourself or not be happy. Yeah, because it's like to some so like they'll be like, you're so brave for wearing that dress. I admire your confidence, right, And I'll just be thinking like if it was somebody like I don't know, like Ariya, y'all are not telling her you admire her confidence. So

it's a lot of comments. Sometimes I'm just like, that's it's it's like people think it's not it's not like you know, a dig or it's not negative, but it actually is because I'm just like, why would you say that to me? It's like I know that I'm a confident person, but it's like you don't have to say that to a because like because then they're braining things like wow, she put that dress on, like she is so brave for doing that, And I'm just like, I wear would I want to wear? I look the good period.

Sometimes you were having on some risk ay stuff on social media, and do you ever get like people under in the communists like talking shit like women or men are always gonna like sucker, they just gonna be creeps. But sometimes it's like it's so funny. Um, I blocked so many key words on Instagram, So even try to leave a certain word, it's knock onna you got fat blocked?

No No, So like the um the biggest thing, Wait, you can block words and I have a list, Yeah, they're like if you try to comment, but um, so ever, since I became like this internet person, I don't know, like they have always been obsessed with me not wearing a brawl. I just feel like, who fucking cares? Like I just like I have so many questions, so I had to I had to block the word boob sagging brawl.

I've blocked all those words, and like even like the other weeks because like if I post something was like, oh, what blue tape are you wearing, I'm like, baby, it's gravity. Like they just always have a question about that. But like that's the thing. They'd be like, oh, he doesn't even have brawn or like I'm just like I don't. Yeah, I'm just like, why do y'all care so much about what somebody does for their body? I'm like And another

thing too that I always laugh about. I'm like, at the end of the day, everything I post is for a check. So it's just like what you're saying does not bother me. The checks, Like I'm getting paid, like you know to do this, Like this is you know what we're here for. So I just I've a long time ago. I'm just like just so thankful that like the place I used to be in maybe like ten twelve years ago. It's just like that ship does not even bother me. Now it doesn't phase me, And I'm

just like, damn, I'm just so this is good. I used to be like kind of just like really just into all the like, oh my god, they're talking about me. I was like, I can never be famous, Like I just want the money. I don't really care about, you know, being being famous, because it's like it can bother you, like it's what you're mental sometimes, especially like you know,

when that's what you do for a living. So so all right, we have to like they're telling this like y'all need to be more active on social y'all, and me and AJ are just you got to not social media people. But right, do you ever feel like a slave to it? I'm already starting to feel like a slave. May not, but there are times when I'm just like I want to take like I want to take like a week off. And do you even say I wanted to take a week off on Instagram? It's crazy because

that's that's a long time, you know. It's like for all the really jump out the algorithm after a week probably well, like I remember, I did it once and it kind of helped my GID. This was a while ago.

But it's just like when you work with different brands and then say you okay, like for one brand, like say that you have to post eight times a month, and then if you take off like, you know, a week, it's like you're you're pushing your work back, which is also going to negatively impact the way that you get paid. But yet sometimes I'm just like fuck this ship. I

just need a break. I just wanted to detach, Like I remember, I deleted the Instagram map off my phone, like I just didn't want to see Instagram because like we just get so consumed in it. It's like you have to really make like a conscious effort to be like you know, that's why I had don't follow like a lot of the you know, the blogs. I'm like, I can't like consume this. I wanted to just start surround and like my feet with people that I admire,

people who motivate me. And once I kind of, you know, change that mindset a few years ago, Like it worked, but yeah, you do become a slave to it because it's like everyone social media in some shape form or fashion like it's part of like, you know, our job. Yeah, absolutely, And it also builds a false narrative in my opinion, because yeah, it's just like not real life. People are

posting hyperlife moments all the time and that's it. Like even like when you go out if y'all posting, y'all like and as soon as the camera go out, I'm just quiet smoking. Who God, nobody's in sections talking right. Hate that so, especially living in Atlanta, like child, I have seen. I've seen it all out here and it's superficial. Oh, Atlanta is the worst, y'all. Don't even I don't even feel like Atlanta have fun when they go out. I feel like everybody just go out to look good and

just look at each other. This is a credit card number, careful, Yeah, but no, you're the false narrative thing. That's I think. It's like I've always just been just overly authentic with my brand, and that's I think. You know, I always kind of wanted to be like that that big sister, like you know, hey girl, I'd be like hey, fat Shanista's So then it's like when I see you know, as Instagram has has changed, especially living in this wicked city.

It's like I just see so much on just like damn, I'm like, y'all be on Instagram with the aps and the cars, y'all be in Miami. Y'all don't even have nowhere to live. Oh and we forgot about this and stupid and that news. Now you can buy your blue check or Instagram okay for fourteen ninety. Like I don't

want it. I wanted. I tried to go through like that process like before, but like Instagram was so strict about that, like you had to be published and you know, in articles, and I was trying to, you know, do stuff. So then that's when I learned people was like buying their way into Forbes and all that. I know, the people who paid ten grand for a blue check, it's probably pissed off like month, but now you can be verified.

I just don't understand, Like I mean, I feel like that used to be something that, like you know, it did validate, like your accolades. But now the fact that you can buy it, I don't even want it. I don't want it no more. I don't want it, like I think they only they still only extended to certain people. Also though I don't think just anybody still can just purchase the blue check. I definitely don't. Yeah. I saw pop of them, like you know, like Instagram or whatever

saying that it was offering it. But I was just like, I didn't get no email, Like you gotta email. I'm like, girl, I don't want that, right, that's just buying followers too though, like buying a bunch of fill and it's always it is obvious. Yeah you got ninety thousand followers. Yeah, that's not your engagement don't match niggah, right, I just everyone just has this need to just to be needed and

just on Instagram or whatever social media you're on. I'm just like, but it's all about people wanting to be loved. That's what it bull is that what it is that love? To me, that's not real love. Like I have more fulfillment from people in my real life, Like I don't need validation from social media tonight. Fortune that everyone is just not like that. They want to seem like you know,

they're popping they got that's the mitaverse. Like you could be somebody different online, Like I have a tough time with that because I am the same person online that I am in real life, right, yeah, like I can't be nobody else. That was like I think that was probably like the one of the most difficult things about just kind of navigating like social media and even like

social media friendships. Like when I first moved out here, I was just so excited to meet like I was, Oh, there's all these other girls who are plus eyes, are influencers, you know, they got businesses. And then I just really and then when you really get down to the nitty gritty, it was like it was this one girl. I was like, oh my god, Like she really was just trying to like steal my whole personality in my life. And the

dudes I was talking to and stuff. And I always because people always say when you move to Atlanta, you're gonna learn your one Atlanta lesson, and I was like, that was my Atlanta lesson. I was like, these girls are crazy, Like they don't they just want to be your friend, to figure out why your light shine so bright? Like why is she fobbing? Why like why are these dudes doing this for her? Why is she going here?

Like why is this brand working with her? And I think that's like one of the green night things about me it's just like I'm just overly genuine. So it's like sometimes I'm just like, damn. People really don't do have bad intentions, right, So I'm just like damn. You know, I'm the city really taught me a lot, Thank you, Alanta. But do you do you want to stay in Atlanta? That is like the big question. I Um, I don't know. I've been here since June twenty nineteen, but I used to.

I mean, I've been coming to Atlanta for like years before. They'd like to hang out, party and all of that. This Atlanta pre COVID was great during COVID. Post COVID is trash. Like it's just everybody moved here because we were open. You know, we we had lockdown like Max we had that movie. We had lockdown for like two and a half months and then everything was, you know, like we was open like it was it was lit. Atlanta, Texas about in Florida were the only people that was

really doing stuff. But I don't know, like I feel like this is not a city for love whatsoever. You was not gonna find your man out here. If you find a man, he already gotta he got a wife, a girlfriend. He might have a man too, wild like, no, Atlanta is a man too. When I moved to Atlanta. When I moved to Atlanta back in two thousand and ten, I went on, I'm actually on a date with a man and he were still good friends to this day too. I'm on a date with him and he's like, yeah,

Alta Lana ain't a place to find a mate. He's like, why why do we here? Then I'm trying to mate, nigga, why are we here? Let me tell y'all story. When I was living here, I went I met this guy. He was like, let's go to the movies. We went to the movies. Right, We're pulling up in the to the movie theater. We're parking the space. A car pulls right beside us, real fans, right, And I was like, you ain't got no bitches. He's like, it ain't no telling what. I'm not about to do that because it's

like three type of men in Atlanta. You have the homeless ones. You have the not so heterosexual ones, and then you have the ones that got their shit together and they have their pick out of how many different women? Because and then you got the thing. You got the Africans that's a whole different song. What the Africans be doing. The Africans should love you right, No, And I think that's like that's another thing too. It's kind of like I found I mean, I'm sorry, I don't date black

American men anymore. I'm not like I'm not against I just I just haven't dated one and so long, like I just don't want to do especially being here. I mean, like a long time ago, I didn't like foreign guys. But then when I started like meeting like you know, coming to Atlanta, I like meeting my dream coming to America. No I didn't. I mean from like just having like girlfriends up to like who are African? I was like, oh,

I mean that's what they like. But then it's kind of like you know, you go where you're celebrating, not where you're tolerating. It's like I didn't have to to deal with like like just bs no more. It's like it's just their culture and their nature to be to be a real man. But the downside about the ship is they cheat, Like hell, they might have a wife in Africa a wife and deLuce a girlfriend. Like it's a lot these niggas and these American niggas, they just

and the nigga got ship. But dick and do rag for you, that's it. And a pull up bar bitch, that's it. And that's why I'm just like, it's like it's just damned if you damned if you don't. But it's like it's just funny because I remember, like, um, it's like this little this blog people go and talk shit about people. They were like, oh, she only date um, she only liked Nigerians because they like big girls. I'm

just like, bitch, why do you fucking get jealous? Right, I'm like, boll, I mean like they treat their women well. But I was just like, why would I just you know, I know, I know my word. But it's like if there's somebody who likes me, you know, because of me, it's like I don't have to feel like uncomfortable, you know sometimes even like being a la like I have like my group of friends, you know, they the Instagram girls, bottle girls, or they go out and I'd just be like,

I don't really have nothing to comm with y'all. It's like I like y'all and everything, but it's like the struggles y'all be dealing with and I'd be cracking up too. I'm just like, we all go through the same ship here. I'm just like all date these rappers and these athletes, and you still be having the same the same drama. So that's why I was just like, and that was

one of the thing that they realize. I was like, it an't got nothing to do what you look like, because everyone is still dealing with the same shit, you know, from dudes. And it's like, yeah, you know, you may get a little more slack for being a big girl. And I see, like, you know the things that like other girls go through just from like the stories that they tell me and just like crazy stuff I just read like on the internet. I'm just like, damn, he

did that. But it's just like it's just so many stereotypes like income tax time, and I'm like, I'm sorry, I just I tell people all the time. I'd be like, I can't relate. I have never related to like half the ship that I've had. I always have to pay right. Yeah, I'm like I'm like, y'all, yeah, how much time I got, But I got a girl to somebody. But no, it's just like a lot of things like I can't relate to that. So I'm like, if you want to call it what that girl told me on Twitter, She's like,

you have pretty plus size privilege. And I was like, I'll be the president of that club then, baby, sorry, I can't. I'm right. They just always try to find a way to buy stuff. And then like you know, there's like a phrase called um small fats and big fats, like if you're on the smaller side of like being plus side. I'm just like, bitch wanma burger. It's just so many different things. I just didn't I just didn't know. I'm just sitting here thinking in my friend like I'm

just out here just existing, just you know. I'm like, I put myself as a black woman before I put myself as a flat black woman, and here y'all go trying to say, oh, you're like a smaller fat. I'm like, girl, please stop stop stop trying to box me in. Yeah, like like what is really good? What's going on? Dyn though, know, like that's your community. I don't need that right going. My sister, she's a big girl, and she does not like like you were saying, like men who fetishize bigger women.

She likes men who don't like big women, like she feels like she's converting them. It's just always something. I mean, it is so funny because it's like I, um, I've dated guys or like just met guys when on dates for guys whatever this term we call it, Like, oh, I never talked to a big girl before, and I was just like, I ain't about to be yo guinea big. Like I just feel like when you when you have

to like express that, it just it just turns. It's like automatic, just turn off, you know, And I'm just like, don't say that. Like I never reminds me of when I was younger, because now brown girls are popping, But when I was younger, niggas used to be like you pretty for a brown girl. That shit used to irk my nerves so bad, Like what the fuck does that mean? Yeah? And it very similar to that, yeah, pretty for a big girl, and I'd be cracking like, oh, you have

such a nice face. I'm like, nigga, I got nice everything like what you're talking about. It's just it's weird. And then even like, um, like guys who try to like secretly date big girls. I remember like a while ago, oh, It was a show The Game, where one of the football players he was like secretly dating a big reporter but didn't want to be seen out with her. He liked her wait a whole lot. Oh that was a show called The Game, right, Yeah? Was it? Oh? Was that?

I remember that? Yeah? And I just felt like, Damn, I'm like, how can you just love this person? But you just can't you know, you can't be seen like, you know, like out with them. I mean, I remember I went through my whole little athlete phase when I lived in Charlotte. Thank God for deliverance, but Jesus, yeah, but I'm just like, how could you, like, you know, how would you want to be around this person only

behind closed doors? Like and it's like there's some girls you know, like they're okay with that, but it's like that doesn't number too your confidence, It doesn't number two, like your self esteem, your mentality, because like it really starts to fuck with you. It's like, damn, like you can only try to come over here and come see me, or you know, pull up oh content garage, come do this.

I'm like, I'm not doing that of that. It's like I think now that I'm older, I mean, I would never go for that, but there have been times I just kind of be like, you know because like you just like you like this person so much and y'all like y'are having good sex, like you're having fun. But it's just like Dann, we can't even go, like we can't do nothing. I'm like, I'm a bad bitch. Like so I'm just like no, and I'm like, girl, stand up, get released the shackles of the sneaking of being nothing.

If he can't celebrate you, girl, you got like no. Like another that was kind of like that just right with Queenland movie. I Love seen that and so on? Was that was that like the thing like because she was big, he was like not public with her, and she wasn't the other girl like the other girl was like slim and cute, and I mean, I don't know, it's just like just just like talking about these topics,

I'm just like, damn. Like when I was like younger, like twenty to like twenty three, I just like I remember like just kind of like things like that, but it's just like now I'm just like I don't I don't experience that anymore. And I mean I feel like you know, for me to say that enemy I'm always speaking about like my own experience. But I'm like, you know, I'm just very unfortunate because I'm just like I don't know like how I could even be like mentally if

I was still like in a situation like that. I'm like, like, what do you mean? Ill? All right, y'all, we're gonna take a commercial break. Dumb story, So dumb bitch story, Which one do you want? You know, I'm like the best one, the best, the one that like really sticks out of my head. It's like this happened in November twenty seventeen. I'm like, to this day, I'm so pissed and like the person who's involved in the story. I saw him. He lives in like my Homeboys building. I

was like, they live on the same floor. So I walked past him and I was looking so cute that day too, So I was like, oh, I knew like he kind of like remember who I was. Okay, So I was living in Charlotte, just dude like slit at my DMS or whatever, and he was just like, you know, just trying to talk to me, and that is just like, oh, like to you know, go to this page. He's cute. He'd be outside, like, you know, having fun. He dresses nice,

okay whatever. So we're just chatting. He was like, yeah, you should come to Atlanta, like, I'll take you out. We go to Gucci. I'm young at fuck, just stupid as fuck. So wait, how many years ago? Was that? Six years ago? No? I was. I was stupid and just real green back then. He was like, yeah, I'll buy you something out to dinner. We can we can go out. He was like, okay, so come to Atlanta. So I just throw them a little shit in my

little Duffel bag. I had an all too. But the time, I'm like, I'm going eighty five, so I'm coming to Atlanta. Nigga was not answering this phone once you got here, Yeah, it was like like was not answering the phone, and I was just like WTF. I was like, you know, I thought I was about to, like, you know, either stay with you like we're you know, like I had friends in like in Atlanta, but that's not what I came down here for wines and nine and here I

am getting the Clunes, Like did you hear from him? Girl? I ain't done yet. So I was just trying to kill times I went, so I went and got my nails done. He still ain't answering the phone. I'm like, okay, what the fuck. So then at this point, like it's getting kind of late, I'm just like, all right, let me just go get a hotel like so I can just you know whatever. But then at this point, I'm like, you know, like where you're kind of like about to cry.

You're like, I'm like calling my friend and she was like, first of all, bitch, why would you even do that? I was like, it's Atlanta. And then she was like okay, she said, so what we're gonna do? Said, you're gonna go to the hotel you brought close to go out? Right, she said, you got You're gonna go out, And at that time, like I wasn't really like going out like by myself. So I get to the hotel and that

I said, I got a trip for this nigga. I called him from like the phone and like the hotel because it was like a four or four number, and he answered. I was just like, I was like, what the fuck? And he was like, man out here making this plague. Like so I'm like an hour I'm an hour. I have an hour outside of Atlanta, like my phone. I was just like, why the fuck would you tell me to come down here? EBT. I was like why

tell me? But the thing I was just like you don't even like like making a play, like you know, like that's not anyways. So I don't even know what happened. I was just like, you know, what, fuck you. I ended up going out by myself. I was so mad because it's like I spent money coming down here and that's not what you know, that's how what I want to do. But it's like you always have right that

always yeah, just just in case home without it. But I mean ended up being like a really good night because I went out to um it was some club. It's not even there no more. It's like over there there eleven forty five. I went out by myself. I was so scared. I had to just like my friend was like just get out of the car because I was in the car for like thirty minutes. It's scared. Just so whenever I get like really really really scared, I have to get drunk, like because when you drunk

is just like you're like anything goes. So I just went to the bar. I had this really cute outfit on two. I was so cute that night and I to the bar and then it was like these this like these like big group of like it was like some Bigerian dudes like some girls. It was like come here and my cousin will love you. He's on his way. And then the guy and then it was so crazy, Like the dude I met that night, I still fuck

with him like to this day. So I was just like I was supposed to be fuck you Phil, Yeah, fuck you yo. This is a gag okay, so I gotta kind of go back to because anyway, So it was like, what was that the drinking and smoking video with Future? I was just like watching the video and then he was in the video. I screamed so loud when I saw that, and I was just like, so, who is Oh, that's the nigga who hang with Future?

You know him? You ain't with Future. I'm expecting some bullshit, right, but yeah, I was like look at me now, period. Do you have any dumb store you want to share? No? I don't have any recent ones. No, not recent, no recent dumb bit story. No, I don't get played in the last let me tell you how I felt played all right, So, as y'all know, I had my fire boys removed recently. This made me feel like I need a man, Like I need a man in my life or someone in my house, y'all. Like I was in

so much pain I couldn't bend over. So after I used the bathroom, I had to pull my paintings up with a hang of y'all and pull my paintings up, And that was so humbling, and I was like, lord, I need what about like like lowering yourself to sit on the toilet? Did that hurt too? Miserable? Yeah, that's like you definitely wasn't supposed to be in the house by yourself. No, I wasn't. Yeah, you gotta have a caretaker. Yeah, my mom was there for the first two days, but

she has I'll be sick. I'm like, take care of me. But I mean that even if you had a man, like, they don't know what to do. You stole me friend, Yeah you can kind of like go yeah right, oh yeah, that's my story for the week. Don't have no more surgeries without a man. We need somebody helped timmy draws put a bandit on my booty lea. Tell everybody where they can find you, plug anything you have, Yes, y'all.

You guys can find me on Instagram at me or the Boss YouTube at xo me or the Boss um TikTok xo me or the Boss and my website me at the Boss dot com All Things Me, Big Boss. If you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio Apple wherever the fuck you get your podcast. That just your co host aj Holiday two point oh. Y'all listen. The Black Effect Podcast Festival is coming up

April twenty second at the pull Meyyard. Go to www dot Black Effect dot com Slash Podcast Festival and get your tickets today. And if you visit our podcast stage we Talk Back Podcast, we do have a free ticket giveaway for two free tickets. Yeah, so you need to go. And we need some participants bitches, message us. We need some participants for some of our segments. Also, it's gonna be so much fun. I'm excited. You gotta pull up. You'll sure every twenty second y'all. It's me tam Bam

Official tam Bam on Instagram. Y'all follow me I love y'all so much. I don't know if I tell y'all enough for Nobody told y'all today, but I love y'all. Thank y'all for tuning. Man, you love take your fuck, y'all. I'm just like I love y'all too. I appreciate you and she don't love y'all right the way I do. I thank y'apportuning me. Man. We'll see you next time, and remember to speak now and never hold your pizza bitch, because it's something we're unpicking our backs right. Bye bye