Don't Be Scared to Self Love

Talk.

Let's talk, talk to We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talks.

What's something, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode and we talked back. The show dedicated to you dreamers and you chasers, and I like that so much as AJ.

It's tam Bama. I love y'all once again. I love y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in. Hey girl, what's going on?

Were still friends, girl? We ain't gonna never not be my fucking friends now, but you and these my fucking listeners. Girl, y'all, please understand that episode was recorded three weeks ago, but we did just have another conversation about it, okay, after the comments and right right before we recorded, right, so, uh, going forward, I ain't talking to nobody no more. How about that? That's how we're gonna solve all the issues. The ain't we talked back no more? We we just

Contractually required to talk every week, okay.

I've been being quiet. It's gonna be the only time I talk every week. Motherfucker sign language me if you're trying to talk. What you had going on this weekend? You know what? I did some.

D I war work on. I finally took my Christmas Street down.

Everybody, Yeah she must he left that ship up and just added some sunflowers to that bitch for the summer.

And then I did some little decorations in my bedroom and now I'm working on my patio. So that's what I did this weekend. I just kind of like it was in my house, and I cleaned out my closet. If you can look right now, I got somebody on the way to come get.

Four trash bags full of shit? Is it like good shit? Maybe you could just do like a h An Instagram Uh story sell it's.

You know what, Maybe I should do that because a lot of some of this stuff got tags on it. I just be up at night, high order and ship. I'm done with that.

Like I seen people do that in motherfucker's bike, send them a PayPal invoice and mail ay shit, why not?

Well, maybe I'll do that instead of just like.

Doing poschmark and stuff like I hate Poshmark, like they take too much of a percentage off your ship. Like God, damn man, I paid five dollars for this, Now I'm getting two or one fitting?

Right, Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna look into that because it is a lot of good stuff in there. Y'all hit me up here. Y'all want some of my clothes. If you're a think girl, you gotta be a size twelve. You know you can't be No, you little bitch, keep scab jump.

Put jeans on, baby, You'll feel my pain. Let's task. But I said, what about your we cant do shit. I was very much so in zen mode. I went to the gym both Saturday and Sunday.

They did it have the African American Museum opening this week, which I wanted to attend.

All the festivities. But I'm a little bit indifferent about the African American Museum, not about it opening, but just you know, I want to go down there. One day.

I'll go.

I think the actual opening is on Tuesday. I might go sometimes. We just did actually check it out see for myself, see what they got in there.

But you know, I saw I want to go to that that looks like it might be. You know, you got to see it because sometimes African American history museums make me sad. When I was in Memphis, I was like, damn, yeah, man, I left. I came in happy and I left. You know that Martin Luther King where you go to the place he got shot?

Why is this still?

I don't know. Is this how we want to memorialize someone's If you look over there, that's the window he got shot.

That tour was too much, man, Like, let me off the fucking bus already. I'm sa man, come on, I'm sick of it already.

So I know, I guess I would have to experience it.

Yeah.

Then it was like a little place where you could sit down on the ground and be like you was in it. It was like these statues and slaves and they were chained together and you could get them.

That is the energy harvesting. See, that's that's why I don't like these places. Like like you said, you went and happy and you came out side. If y'all ain't got some shit in this museum where were showing how black people are great and have been great from the beginning of the time, I really can support it, so before I before I make any assumptions about it, I need to go see it. Our good brother Charlamagna God is on the board for the museum. He actually spoke

Uh. Charleston is also getting the Soho House. Did you see that? What is that?

What's the Soho House?

Soho House is like all right, Dumbo House in New York.

Oh, you mean a home over? But is it a hotel?

It is a hotel, but it's also like a member's only kind of situation. And you know they get They're also building four seasons here Chausta.

Got that check. Okay. When I think about getting where I want to live at like, I love being back home, I love being in Charleston. I don't really want to move any place else because I mean, I know y'all wanted to listen. It's got on me because I said, ain't no ocean in Houston, and I stand by that too. We got the ocean.

Well, there's definitely no ocean in Houston. I think it's like maybe thirty minutes out you can get to some water or something like that.

No, it's longer than that. It's an hour some change. If you got to drive that far, girl, I'm going fifteen minutes at the beach.

Yeah, that's like saying eight there's an ocean in Charlotte. There's not. I don't know.

So it's beautiful, hair man, and they got all of where I don't know who is affording to live in Charleston at this point, Girl, you really got to be a millionaire to purchase a home here or look me or old them, excuse me, owner, the owners.

Let's let's be clear.

Period.

So getting another museum for symbolism, where cut me the check?

Where's the money? And aside from the museum stuff? Because I didn't actually partake in those things, I just you know, worked out, went to the river, put my feet. There's a lot did I did a lot of grounding this weekend. I suggest everybody to walk around barefoot. Sometimes we are literally walking around two inches off the ground. You're not grounding when you have shoes on, like you're not getting that.

Connection to the earth energy.

Yes, you need it.

I left something out. My sister, my older sister, Tanisha, drove down from DC. They're on their way to Alabama. They're moving there, I know. And uh, she was supposed to teach me that. To me, a man, I can't learn that ship to save my life.

The dance, yeah, man, how many? Wasn't so many fucking steps?

Like get somebody else?

But why why? I didn't know that there was a whole dance for Remember Lloyd Young Lloyd's song, the song he had with lo Wayne I Want You.

It's a dance for that. Like where was I dance? Where did you get the nigga memo? I don't get it. I didn't get it to me a memo they need to put like somebody need to do an instruction on that, motherfucker because.

It's almost like line dancing.

You know it is line dancing. It's not like it is exactly line dancing. Yeah, that's why white people be so good at I see so many white people doing it. To me a dance online like boy to white people know they can line dance.

I got brown skin, but it bitch, don't have no coordination to be doing all that shit. Man, Listen, I'm black, but with the rhythm. I got it in the bedroom though, but not on the dance floor. But you can't do it.

Light that with a dicky.

Hey, let's get into the stupid internet, dudes.

BNCH.

Did y'all watch the BET Awards?

This is the one piece we probably didn't see on the awards, but it's all over social media today.

Jt and low Luzy vert getting into an argument at the twenty twenty three b to Bet Awards that resulted in her throwing her phone at the Philly Rapper in the middle of the awards. She said, you fucking groopy jt Yl's at the Just one a rock rapper before throwing herself on a hit nowsy with it. Bitch, don't ever try me like that, bitch ass nigga like abuse. Yes, abused. I don't never condone abuse me neither.

I mean, I get there, I've been there, but I do not condone. We hear and we talk back. Do not condone abuse. But I get why she was upset because it says the other speculation that she might have been upset because in his song that he performed, which is a new song off the Pink Tape. At the Pink Tape out Boom, he mentions the munch Rapper saying, uh, he won a wife look like Ice Spice.

So the larycs didn't actually say say that. The lyric says, fucking on these sluts. I got a nice wife. I'm fucking the dog shit out this bitch. Her weight came off twice. She had a low fro, look like Ice Spice. That's actually the way.

That bad, I mean hip hop.

I've been needing all the details, the details. No, that wasn't that bad. And I guess he performed this song at the BET Awards right before, excuse me, right before she threw the phone at him. She ain't like that. And then he has a picture with Ice Spice, So I guess all the boys are on Ice Spice, I mean Ice Spice JT. I wouldn't even I would have just left the awards alone, like you're not about to play with me over this, right, I'm out because j

All the world awards, the world, everybody. You heard the EVT.

Awards, because listen, that shit was a little ratchet.

It was a lot of ratchet. The whole thing was I loved every minute of it. Speaking of city girls, Young Miami did Jason Lee show recently and there's clips going around of her speaking about her daughter, and Jason Lee asked her, did how she felt about her daughter, who's three years old right now, being a city girl, and her response, and I quote this, I want her

Yeah, I mean, I see both. Right. We know that Young Miami is not throwing duces to the patriarchy because she is in a harem right now, right and she doesn't want that same life for her daughter. The thing is in the black community, we always be like, oh, do as I say, not as I do, which is very stupid because children and most people learn from action what you're actually doing.

Now what you to say?

What are you doing? What are you showing so you can't that's a hypocrite, And I mean we do it all the time. You always see hypocrites. You want one thing for your kid. Meanwhile you're on as a city girl.

And these other women is giving their baby city girl birthday parties, you know.

So you know, I don't know, man, but I.

Can understand wanting different for your kid, you know, wanting better than what.

You have for your kid.

No.

Absolutely, that's how it's supposed to be. You want your child to be better than you. Absolutely. But as a public figure, you have this social responsibility that a lot of people don't like to take on, but you do.

Yeah.

Right, So you know one thing I agree with a lot of people don't be agreeing with Kanye. Kanye was reading the rap lyrics. He was like, this is anti black. Nothing I do is anti black. These the rap lyrics be anti black as funk. Also at the BT Awards, did you see sexy.

Red, Poundtown, pound Town. Now, I like Poundtown. I like going to Poundtown often. Okay, it should it be a song about your booty. Holy a pussy being paid.

I don't know. I don't know. And they're a pregnant woman's working on you. Krishan Rock was working on her pregnant on one of the owls at the BT Awards on Sexy rerad. It's just I don't know.

I just you know what. I just chopped it up. As it's twenty twenty three.

This shit getting wild at hell out here?

Man, this is real stupid internet news. Well all of this shit was today in it.

So did you see that Elon Musk is trying to ban the words CIS and cis gender from Twitter. This is actually not super in that news because I actually agree with that one thousand percent. I did not sign up to be called cis CIS. I signed up.

I gotta say it before when I was listening to y'all in the meet and I was like, well, I came, I say sis all the time, Hey Suz, not to a man, but I didn't know what sis? Can you define cis gender?

So sis gender is essentially the opposite of trans. So it's the opposite. Yeah, So it's a heterosexual person and we're heterosexual. Where does CIS come from? This is the opposite of trans is what SIS is?

It's so much to keep up with.

Yeah, so I agree, man, I feel like there has to be them. Is the stuff that I feel like something is some changes on the way, right, the things that these the initiatives that these people have been pushing may not be aligned with the LGBT community, and a lot of people in that community are now speaking out against it. Right, I'm talking about as far as with the children and all the name changes and the pronouns

I think I might have to go with Elon?

Honestly, Yeah, I'm with Elon.

Yeah. I just feel like he's gonna karate chop that nigga inside.

Of the bitch. I don't even think either one of them actually exists. I think they're both AI. So let the computers fight, right.

What movie was that where like they both punched each other in the face and they both like passed out. I would love for that to happen. Just knock each other out at the same time.

Then Twitter go down and Facebook go down.

Boom.

Well, listen, y'all, it is summertime, and what y'all doing for y'all vacations? I'm sick of going to the beach with bitches. I need to be when I get off the beach. Why you whisper it? I need to be That's what I want to be doing when I get off the beach. I do not want to be in a room full of drunk ass bitches or a villa full of drunk ass women.

Eat each other on vacations sometimes.

Bitch, that's the trips you be on.

There ain't no trip I've never I've never done that. Honestly, I've never done that. I promise y'all. I've never done that. But it does happen.

Wait, you never ate you never did on a trip. Y'all will be back from a commercial. It's just a moment. Let's get into the show. What's up, y'all. We black at it again. It's AJ here with weed talk back. What's up?

Tim?

Okay, y'all.

Hey y'all, it's BTM ban.

I love y'all.

Thank y'all for coming back again.

We talked back TV.

What's going on the ship.

I'm hungover again, bitch, get again? You are not practicing self love?

Okay? And I can't drink no more.

Don't bitch our body. Don't process. Alcoholics are like.

The smallest amount because I didn't drink a lot, but I just feel bad the next day.

I put them a little ass five percent simply lemonades.

I love those, and not just because they give us a check.

It's a little buzz. You got a little buzz. You better stick to that ship. I know for sure. I can't drink certain liquors, so I try to stick to what I know. Don leo, I might can do uh some douce say that's about it.

It's a I'm a tequila girl, and I'll like I can. I'll start real bougie in nineteen forty two, but by the end of the night, I'll be like, what y'all gotta left?

Then, MO, fuck up?

Give me.

I returned to my uncle Kloyd bitch the hose quirbled.

Yeah, so I just gotta do better. It's it's hot outside, though it's hard, it's weird wintertime. I'll be like, Okay, it's just weird for me. But when it's.

Hot, it's both. Yeah, I'll be having a pick now. I don't understand how people can smoke and drink like I got to pick. And I don't smoke outside either when I'm about to get some dick. No.

I smoke when I read. I smoke when I'm watching TV.

I can.

I will even smoke before I go to bedside Baptist church. I just feel closer to God.

So I don't know.

Hi, Yeah, there's actually a church in Louisiana. It's an outdoor black church where they smoke weed during the sermon.

See if I can get some shit like that with a nigga like Reverend Ike preaching, I would definitely go to church every Sunday.

Reverend Ike, I don't know, y'all know who.

Reverend Ike is passed away now, No, Reverend Ike is an old reverend like you can find his videos on YouTube. But this niggas actually from Ridgeville, South Carolina, I think. But he was a big minister. But he preached about like manifestation and shit like that, like the God and you. He was not lying to the congregation. He talked a lot about money too, and how you get it. Like one thing I took from Reverend I he said, stop saying spend be could spend this final like I need.

And that's what when Drake said one time, that's fine with me. The different I was like, I was mad on the cellular level.

Like not a cellular level, because you know, we can't get that pussy bag gave it out, girl, it'd be the worst women be talking about. Oh his dick.

You he still got the pussy, right, even if it's small, Like he hit that pussy with that little dick and.

You loved it. You was loving it. He still pleased you with that day, right.

That takes us to our top.

All right, yeah, bitch, No, you're drinking takes us to the topic. Okay, self love is what we want to talk about today. I'd be loving myself out there. Take me too, man, go go go. I don't like drinking at home, so I'm not one of them people. So it has to be social drinking from me. If I'm an outside, I gotta drink outside. I'm not about to when I'm outside sober, everybody else drunk I want to.

It's weird, Yeah, like you just sitting there looking stupid in the face, Like if you don't get drunk and get on this damn bar with me, right, Yeah, I feel the same. I have gone out like, oh, I'm detoxing. I can't drink with y'all, and everybody's like, boo, you're fucking lame right now, and it feels lame. It does. So I just trying to know if I'm detoxing. I just won't go who is like, you know, like, why are you here? Right? You're looking up self?

Okay?

Yeah?

Definitions I like to read, like you know, yeah, so anyway, So self love is defined as love of self for duh right, or regard for one's own happiness or advantage. And it's been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw to have self love. You know, I was just having a conversation.

Self love might be perceived as being narcisseded.

I was just having a conversation with my mom the other day because my nephew, he's amazing, right the niggas a genius. He'll probably go to the NFL if he doesn't. He could do anything he wants to do in his world. He's like one of the top students in South Carolina. And they were home for a Memorial Day and he asked, my mom, you know, we just had standardized tests, and which you think I made on my tests, and my mom was like, well, eighty five something, and he looked at her.

Like, like, girl, you don't know who I am?

He was. She was like, what what you make a hundred? He was like yes, Like why would you think I made it eighty five? Like who you thought I was? And she she didn't perceive that conversation like I did. I'm like, he the shit, like why would you think he made eighty five? Why would you think less than a hundred? So she said that he needed to be more humble. So I proceeded to pull up the definitions

I think it's important to teach people to be humble and have some humility, right, It's okay to like.

Lower in importance. That's another one lower like lower you're important, like you're lower than other people, and then.

You being humble, it's being lower than others. Yeah, I don't know. I think.

That's the definition. That's the definition of being humble.

To your own horn. But I also think it's okay to realize that we're all going in the grave. So nobody's better than anybody else. Right, We're all the same.

At the end of the day week, I feel like I'm better than a lot of the people who be comming and nasty shit in our Instagram.

Yeah, but we all of us gotta die, so we are.

A couple of times, I'm coming to tell you one thing.

It makes me realize that we are all the same. The most vulnerable anybody is is when they're taking the ship. Right when you're in there taking a ship, you're just a regular human being trying living.

That's Beyonce, ta shit, she takes a ship.

Yo, she takes a ship.

Women don't take ships.

We're all the same. We're all the same. We all dying. We all ship, And if you're not shipping, you're dying already, so.

Should or died trying.

So we all have the same. So that just makes me, remind me not to look down on anybody.

And not I don't really look down on people, but abody else Nah, absolutely not, I don't nobody, Yes, walking around like telling people having that that that you know. No, but narcissist has a positive definition. Really, yeah, that's reading to me, it does. Maybe I have a little let's see it's perception. Let's see what narcissists narcissists. Uh. Personality qualities include thinking very highly of oneself, needing admiration, and

But the first sentence, like thinking highly of yourself, you could be seen as a narcissist. So that's to me, that's a positive definition. But in society, being a narcissist very negative, right, you know what I'm saying. Definitely a negative to be narcissists.

I think everybody has a little bit of narcissism. I think the same thing with ego.

It's about balance.

Yeah, but some people can be diagnosed as a narcissist. That's a little bit different when you clinically diagnosed as a fucking narc It's two different things. But let's get back on topic. So we're talking about self love. So there's a lot of things in media right now, a lot of things going on. You know, it's summertime, it's June. People trying to get their body together, mommy makeovers, all the good stuff. You know, you want to do a

Whatever you need to do neither to just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, right because I know oftentimes women say.

Oh, I'm doing it for me. I'm not doing it for men. But a lot of women get that ass so they can show it to niggas.

Like niggas like ass.

I mean, like they like it, but are they wifing it.

Yeah, there's a lot of asses that got wiped up.

It's a lot of I'm single though, it's a lot of single asses.

I'm sitting on the fant one right now.

You don't buy it though, That's what I'm saying, Like, we didn't buy the ass, so it's just different.

Yeah.

So now I noticed some women like when they get that new ass, they cannot take any more pictures from the front.

Oh yeah, well why I did even used to that as if you invested that much money. My profile pictures that ass right, they taking one hundred and forty seven dollars every moore.

Some people may perceive that as someone who doesn't have self love. I don't think so, though, when they start doing like too many surgeries, Like I know, there's this one girl she's like being in Atlanta. I thought she was a guy, but she's a woman because she has children. But she has had like a hundred surgeries, and at this point, to me, she looks botched. But and it doesn't look like self love. Once you change your whole shit up, you know, you.

Know somewhat call that body dysmorphia when you start doing so much to yourself and then and then you know, going under the knife that many times, it's dangerous. I mean every time you put your body through that, right, you take a level of danger for yourself. Right, So I mean at one hundred surgeries, obviously she's doing it for her at this point. I mean, it's about what make her happy. And if she happy and she ain't dead.

Then about But it's the way you perceive yourself because you're not practicing self love. So when you look in the mirror like somebody else. And I mean, like somebody can tell you, girl, you look good, but we know that if I don't feel good, it has nothing to do with what you think I look like, right, and it's all to do with how I perceive myself. So now, if your brain is like tricking you to say you don't look good, you need to fix this. You need to do that.

I think social media really plays a huge part in our images as women, Like I mean, people are you know, want everybody they making their body all look the exact same way.

Like what was the name of that? Damn Okay, it was an episode on the Twilight Zone and I think it was the episode was like number eleven or everybody wants to look like number eleven. But it's exactly what we're seeing right now. It's like, just imagine Kim Kardashian being number eleven and everybody going to the factory and they want number eleven. That's what we're seeing now.

Yeah.

Yeah, and a natural like natural women's bodies, like we have hip tips and stuff like that, and you shit just super rounded out like that's not it's not natural.

No, But I don't think people, I mean men don't care. I meet a lot of men out asking them like, do you like fake booties? I'm like, shit, I don't give a fuck what kind of booty, long as it's bouncing. Like niggas don't care.

Some of them things don't bounce.

I heard right, some of them known, but they said as long as they bouncing, they haven't. So I mean, I don't think men really care if it's real or not. You know, so that's not true.

I think ment because we can just look on social media a lot of the things that women do. Men don't give a fuck about them, like we are. We got the stretch marks some niggas love, they love the tiger stripes like they don't care nothing about half the ship we give a fuck about. But I also say this, now, now, let me just be looking fucked up like too many days in a row. Now you're saying some shit to me, Like all right now, bitch, while you look like that,

But we're talking self love, then we should just let our hair do what it does, and it wouldn't take long if we just approach.

We can say the same thing with wolf pussy down. So you want me to walk around this wolf pussy out the side of this damn panty.

I mean, if we're talking about self loves, God wanted your pussy to be hairless. He would have made it hairless, right right, But.

But we can't look it'd be looking like that little thing on the camera.

In summertime. Remember that little girl was getting her hair braided about her mom and she's like, what's wrong with you? She like, I probably I promised that pussy was hairy.

Sometimes people have her mono and balances like it may not even be that the ship is Harry Harry. They may need to change their diets. Some of you eat and making it spunge at your pores a little bit more asparagus girl. One time is the worst y ever. One time I had I was thinking, like, wait, what the fuck did I do? Listen, I'm gonna be honest with y'all, And I thought I was tripping until Oprah

Why?

Why problem when you eat fish? Never know?

But asparagus really does mean.

I just think I know that I'm leaning more towards NAIs. I love seafood.

Y'all would make my pussies spell, like I need to go to the hospital.

But it's not really a pussy though. It's when I pee your pee. Yeah, everybody right, Nigga's not crab flags do a number, That's what I'm saying. Men eat asparagus and they gonna it's gonna smell like.

Okay, that's for everybody. Okay, yeah, I thought it was just like my body just do not agree with what's your blood type?

You know it?

Oh I don't know it. Yeah.

See, you're supposed to eat for your blood types, and my blood type calls for fruits, vegetable and light fish. And just without even knowing that, like without even studying, like what I need to eat for my blood type, your body was telling me, yes, that's what I need to be doing. So when I eat fish, like it literally comes out of me. So I have to limit the fish and take listen, y'all. I don't just be walking around with sink pussy, I promise, Okay. I pride

I know a lot of men that will turn down as you should have some self respect.

Yes, I have some self love, but it.

Is niggas who will hit her from the back of the hole.

They brother, I'm going in, I'm going in. I didn't even get hard for that. You're nasty, nigga, Right, you're nasty.

And that doesn't mean the woman is actually a nasty woman. I feel you have a bad Yeah, pH might be off for whatever.

I remember one of my home girls, she was like, man, I looks so good today. Man, my pussy is stink fucking with a like messed up.

Knock her phr.

Yes, you can literally be allergic to a man biscuits and that's not self love. Get away from that, nigga.

If if he's causing you have it like mentally and giving you stinkuchie, Like, why are you what? I do? Feel like when you first start like sleeping a man, it'll knock your pH off. No, just I feel like anytime the first time.

And that's like a signal to me that I shouldn't be fucking with you. You mean the first time you smashed raw.

Right, anytime you have like raw sex with someone, I don't think so.

I feel like because there's there's been men that I, you know, was intimate with, and I feel like, shit, that's my mate. We match.

Maybe I don't have like raw sex enough that when I do, my body.

Is like where is the plastic? Or maybe because that dick been someplace else in between time and every dick.

That I do that to you, that's not the first time I have raw sex. Yeah, knocked off on top, knocked off my square already know right away. But that's why I don't do it though.

You whack bitch, live a little love a lettle. There's somebody else to do it. Do it, bitch a little like let me tell y'all, tell me be lying that bitch, be fucking raw.

Give me that skin.

I could literally be like all those skin condoms actually are very good and add a little lube to it. It feels like.

Nothinglub to it.

Yeah, on the outside, Yeah, my couchie does not stay wet the entire time with a condem Yeah.

Because you can do on the outside it could break. Yeah, I don't like even I could be super aroused, like I gotta do a lot of extra ship to stay wet.

With the condom I do.

Maybe my body is just used to condem Yeah, plastic pussy.

Yeah, got that peep that pepp Okay, So listen, let's let's talk about let's actually talk about sound self love. So we talked about and we're gonna have a whole episode, y'all and bring on some guests, some friends of mine. And I said this a couple of times. We just haven't organized, but I think it's really important. You know what I'm saying, because again I want to make sure

I just feel like a nigga, Like if I don't do something by the time of my fifty to go up like this.

Niggas already have.

Listen, I loot it out them here baby, Like, if I see they struggling next stretched a little bit too much trying to get that titty, I just pull it over for them, Like.

What is that not normal?

And I guess you're right. I guess you by that time, I'll be like by that time, so I guess that's normal for a thirty five year old tits.

So girl, my mom at is seventy and she still walking around bunks and her titties because she got really nice titties and she will talk shit, isn't yeah, because' y'all be letting boys pull on your titties. She got like the best titties. Yes, And she always say, you know, if you could fit, if you can hold a pencil on your titties, they too big. She was shaming us me and all messes got big titties.

My mom won't hold no pencil. Inn there it yet.

Yeah, she like, your titties is too big if you can hold a pencil.

When I like back my titties just like, it's like your eggs over.

Easy, they don't. Yeah, I don't know, but has any man ever complained about them titties? That's what I'm saying. Like we'd be so hard on ourselves. One of my homegirls said I was hard on myself because I wore stockings. She was like, well, I would never even think to wear it.

I don't feel like you need those because I saw your legs yesterday and I was like, do you have the stockings? And you were like no. I was like, they look exactly the same with the stockers.

But there's a little bit. But then I showed you right, I had like a little scar right here on my knee.

Nobody could even see that fucking scar.

And I scratched my knee. Yeah, people can, I can see it. And that to me, doing a ten dollars adjustment is self love as opposed to going and trying to do some bleaching and everything. To me, that's when you are getting in a dangerous space. Multibody.

Everybody heard their thing right, Because I got like varicose veins from standing from doing hair for all these years on the side of my leg and like on my chin. I don't give a fuck about that. I'm not gonna eat that's my white blood. I'm not gonna do that like surgery, yeah, or put like foundation on my legs. I don't care about that. But what I do is I do care about my chin. Sometimes I have two.

Cop bell evasive things.

Yeah, I did coy Bella on my chin one time. Shit didn't work. I tried pdo threads that didn't work. That was the two things that I've done, and I was like, you know what, this is just the chin. God want to be thed.

I love the chin, your bitch. Yeah, real man, we gotta just be like you know, I fuck it man, it's me. It's me. And you know they men talk about us doing the small enhancements or big enhancement. They talk shit about both of them. They talk shit about natural they talk shit about surgery. Women too. Yeah, women are very hard. I don't. I don't what what the fuck is wrong with humans? Dog?

Mean?

Let me just get more.

Dogs in the world. We are very mean. No them dogs, I tell you about them. Dollars on my elevator. They don't fuck with each other like that either.

So let's talk about some ways to cultivate self love. So I was able to find a couple of things. So there's this is six ways to cultivate self love. So practicing self love doesn't have to mean expensive activities like booking your weeking at a resort. The focus is paying attention and caring for your knees and could be as simple as a five minute break to disconnect. So just meditation right quick. I feel like I meditate all

Nod.

Yeah, I turn the radio off, and that's that's really when I between that and the shower is when I have my most intimate deep thoughts.

Water is a good kinduit for meditation. Yes, ooh, baths.

I like to do seaweed baths out and I bitch that. Listen y'all trying to lose five pounds right quick? Do a hot ass seaweed bath. That detox really will knock five pounds off.

R oh, I have to try that. I eat seaweed, but I've never based.

So if you go to the Asian markets, they sell like they sell like like big sheets of seaweed. They kind of like, you know, plastic, but once you put them in the water, they swell so by like a pack of them, and I don't know how many it's a bunch of sheets in one little pack, like five to ten dollars or something like that. I'm gonna try to put in a bath so we.

I'm gonna put on the little Mary Mary.

Bitch, Yes, I put candles run.

The bathtub smoking.

That is self love first. Okay, you're gonna lose a couple of pounds. You on detox, You're gonna feel good after a bad a You're gonna sleep good. That's self love and without having to go to a spot keeping a journal, a gratitude journal.

It says, I bought you one of those. Remember did you use it? Did you use it?

I just found it again, okay, and I have started using it. Okay, good within the last week. Y'all bought that for her, Like that book. It's a book. It's just you know, every time I do certain things now, I think back to childhood in school and how they try to teach you certain things because we had journaling in school. We had the lower vocabulary book that all of us used to cheat off each other, Like you

I was always the girl who.

Had done the thing. Like those things we didn't understand the importance of. And I think if we kind of take the time to explain to kids, like why it's important. Let me tell you, girl, when you get thirty, you're gonna wish you were journaling right now right because it just helps you keep a clear mind when you write down your thoughts right, and then you can revisit it. When you write your goals down, you can see, you know, measure that.

But I don't think you should use your social media as your journal. And I find that some people do that because.

You might want to raise some shit and that is ink you can't.

And then it's people on there. Some people have your best interests at her, but then there are those that don't. So you just have to be mindful of that when you use social media, especially young millennials. I feel like it's mostly them that do that, you know.

I had comment on something on a page and it had a whole bunch of likes, but it also had a whole bunch of some positive some negative comments, and I went back and I tried to delete it. Don't you know, Instagram wouldn't let me delete it. It has like one hundred two hundred something comments on it, and let me delete it. As if I don't own that comment anymore.

Oh, it may no longer be your intellectual property.

I'm just thought, I don't want to get that alerts anymore. I don't want that alerts no more. Yeah, So I'm like, man, what the fuck?

So you have to be mindful there. But I do think journaling is good. You know what I like to write down and I do it three six nine times.

That's the magic number. That's actually the number that unlock the matrix. Three six nine.

Oh really, I do like So I'll do it three times, then I'll do it six times, and I do it nine times.

Did you learn that in elementary?

Uh? Uh, Well, I don't know. I don't remember where I got it from, but I'll say It'll say I am rich, happy, and wealthy. No, I am rich, happy, and fit something like. I can't I can't think of it. But then I'll just write it down. I type it in my phone three times, and then I'll do it six times the next time, and nine times the next time, and I just keep doing it whenever I remember to do it, and I'll do it.

Yeah, that's a good practice. You know. If you want to be fit, you can also just you know, write the number down how much you want to weigh, and put it on your ski.

Tell y'all wins the amount she wants to weigh, and it's all like a little piece of paper and.

It's take over with the actual same time I weigh myself. Bitch, that's how much I weigh my goal. Wait, that's how you manifest like it's not real until you write it down, bitch. I mean I wrote that two years ago and I was like, bitch, what is this? Bitch? Is how much I wait? Mind your business?

Okay?

Who checking on sevent I feel my best at one seventy. So what it says about the gratitude journal, It says a big part of self love is staying present. Dwelling over things out of your control can raise feelings and hopelessness, stress, and anxiety. Maintaining a gratitude journal can help you stay grounded by reminding yourself of what you have to feel thankful for right now.

That's our greatest tool in life, honestly, is gratitude.

Research suggests remembering that you're thankful kept promote healthy and it's linked to self esteem and increases overall happiness.

I definitely agree with that one. I definitely agree with that one. Have y'all ever read The Secret? Yeah?

Okay, So in The Secret they talk about one lady. She was saying how she says thank you a lot of times per day, Like from the time I wake up, I say thank you. I say thank you when I got a shower. I say thank you when I get in a shower. Bitch I dodn'et told my car thank you, but that bitch broke down the next day, so I was like, bitch, fuck you. But yeah, I say thank you a lot during the day because even when you think your situation is like fucked up, you don't see

And I think the older you get, the more gratitude you possessed. I think, honestly, like I literally going to bed at like at night, like yes, did it again? You know? Like that another one.

So it says a daily dose of gratitude can improve your mood and it is a great way to start at your morning. Like I said, say thank y'all in the morning. Y'all. You can download a app on gratitude, or keep a small list on your phone, or write what you what you're thankful for in a notebook. So that's what the Gratitude book that Tana got.

Yeah, you can get it for Amazon. It's only a couple of dollars and it's a cute little book and it just says I'm thankful for and you can write in it and it has a daily log. Yeah, so I do that.

I think also, when you are experiencing hate from people, right, just realize that they don't realize that they too have things to be thankful for. Right, That's why they just displaying this mean behavior. They don't they don't they don't feel like they they're not thankful for what they have, so they're hating. I feel like that's where hate for other people comes from. When you're not showing gratitude for the things that you have, you're either gonna be inspired

So this is.

The next way to show yourself to cultivate self love. Actually, so give yourself a compliment. A small but effective way to make yourself feel good and ultimately ultimately boost self esteem and confidence is giving yourself a compliment. By compliment, by complimenting ourselves regularly, it starts to shift the relationship we have with ourselves as as well as our mindset. We are essentially training ourselves to focus on positives which create positive feelings.

I like that, but I also would like to add to that that you should also learn how to take a compliment. People. I got a problem with that, I know, girl. That's why I said, bitch, i'd be like you love pretty today.

This whole thing I had, this thing I am learning. I think I got there. It's a lot of things being around my mom or now I realize I got from her. The other day she was expressing how pessimestic she is, and she was saying it so proudly. Meanwhile, on a daily basis, in my mind, I'm like, dog, bitch, like I feel like you can do this, like be a little bit more optimistic. But it's a lot of things stem from your childhood and the people that raise you.

Absolutely m h. If you change the way you see the world, the way you see the world will change exactly it really is, yep. So give yourself a compliment y'all say bid you a bad bitch? Okay you not just say it anyway until you do.

Period, And tell a nigga on the Instagram tell you ain't.

Go to this page and call his son ugly. No, don't do that. Don't do that, Guys, the kids out of it.

Okay, I'm ugly, And then say your son looks like you. That's not dang that ever was a woman? Be like girl, you look just like your daddy. Your daddy, sir.

Kids are off limits you all.

Right, y'all? Okay, So speak to yourself as you would with a friend. Negative self talk is something we all engage in. Try imagining your friend making the same mistake or failure and think about what you would say to them. A big part of self love is finding that little voice inside of your head, and by noticing how we talk to ourselves, we can show ourselves compassion when interaction

It'd be like, damn, my feet stink, but somebody likes stink feet, bitch, I hate you, right, that's about right, not stink.

But I mean that was.

Because I know that, because anybody told you the stink yet I don't know, bitch.

I never tried to smell them my feet. Don't think I was just giving it an example. They'd be sucking them. Yeah, okay, they don't stink. That's how that work, all right. Practice mindfulness This is my favorite. Being mindful is a strategy to boost self love as it can help you identify what you feel, think, and want. Mindfulness encompasses being fully present,

Tell us about it.

It's really good. So it's really just sounds right. But for whatever reason, bitch, if you use this app and put on some headphones, it takes you someplace else. Now, sometimes it was like frequencies yea, so you know they hurts. That stuff matters.

Let me, can I just say this. I was talking to this man in Jamaica at one point and he had like this frequency in the background and he was talking to me and I was like, what is he? What is my pussy? And we weren't even talking about nothing like crazy, but he had this playing in the back the whole world Jamaica accident. He was telling me, how yes.

Girl, that waspnosis.

You're so amazing, Mommy, I just want you to know. And I was like, it was so I felt like he was in the room with me. Girl.

Wait wait, wait, you weren't in Jamaica.

I was here. He called me early in the morning with that sound playing in the back and just affirming me in so many different ways, and I almost orgasm without touching myself.

Girl, he's a warlock. Okay, Yetta, be careful tell us about that. He probably. He probably would have been like, yeah, can you cash at me?

Yes, right now, I feel like I owe you that.

That's next level pimping. Let's be clear, if he would.

Have asked for some money in that minute, he would have got it.

Sure, what's your cash? Hey, y'all?

Tell me?

Don't got nothing on these damn things?

Hey?

You got them upside down? Bitch turned right side up? At least thank you? Shut the fuck up, and don't say ship y'all Like I was at a live show like that with nothing on the car. Really, I said that, you ain't say I was like, ain't nothing on these y'all. I'm just up here. Mm hmm. Anyway, we celebrating small wins. Okay, celebrate how to tell y'all like that? Like the next one that celebrating small wins. People can set harsh expectations for themselves or get caught up with what society demands

Bitch, I don't even know.

Then. This is celebrating small winds.

So it says the minor accomplishments add up and create momentum to reach the end goal.

So it's the journey. It's not the end goal, right, it's not the big thing. It's not the big prize of the end. It's the journey. So along the way to where whatever the goal is, celebrate those small that's what it's saying.

Okay. I like that when you say you look the writing is so small, girl, and I got good eyesight.

But and look the last one, y'all, because we got to get the Okay.

But it's important to I feel like we don't do enough of that.

We don't.

We haven't because we have not had like a two years, a three year.

Right, we should go milestone.

You might do it in your episodes like we should have. We should celebrate those.

Yeah, I agree, all right, y'all, So limit time on social media, bitch, you said that, right. A core component of self love is refraining from self judgment and comparing yourself to others, an easy trap to fall into if you're consistently scrolling through social media. Research find that many people make social comparisons based on what they see on social media, and that there is a strong relationship between social media usage and self esteem. Now, I listen to Conservative radio and they have.

Commercials on Conservative radio for parents if their children have harmed themselves. Like they're actually having class action lawsuits against Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, social media sites right now, because these things are socially engineered to make you feel that way, so you can consume more shit that you don't fucking need while you're comparing yourself to people who are living in debt, who really don't have the fucking lives.

They don't have the relationships that you see.

It's all entertainment, so you got to be and especially younger minds, they can't.

They don't know that though. They can't differentiate even adults, you know what I'm saying. Like we was in the club last night and I swear to guy, every single nigga and there was estyle, but I know some ig jewelry was in there, absolutely, And the guys who not wearing jewry who don't feel like they need that thing to be who they are, because that we can compare that to doing makeup and hearing all that stuff, like men can you leave home without your ma, without your

Of the niggas in there needed that shit, That's.

What I'm saying. Like, see now we can't even your face because the diamonds is shining. We can't even really see what you look like. Were just looking at the diamonds and you hop in whatever whip you in Like it's all a mask and a facade to validate for self valid exactly because of lack of lack of self love. They can say they can live it out it, but can you really can we have a party when nobody show up with juelry on, don't asks us to come and the weave on you push it, But that's the

Media would just trap you. I will find myself just three in the morning watching the nigga clean a rug, like just cleaning a dirty ass rug, and I just can't wait to see what it looks like in the end, I need to.

Go to fuck the bed.

Like so, I like social media is a beautiful tool, but it's also the devil.

I turn it off, go to sleep, train you Wi Fi off, put a timer.

I've been watching also pressure washing driveways and patios. That shit had me stuck all night long? What will this patio look like?

Shame? What else we have to say about self? Love?

Child, Let's challenge all our listeners to say something really nice about theirself every day this week, no, fuck it, every day this month. We want you to look in the mirror and say something good to your fucking self. I challenge you, and I challenge you to do it as well, because I feel like anything you do routinely, because they say what thirty days and twenty days, If you do something every day, it becomes a part of you.

It's just a straight your whole life, you know.

Go on Amazon and get that gratitude journal and then start writing down the things that you're grateful for. And then also I would challenge you all to start going in your notes doing that three six ' nine other things you're trying to manifest for your life. And don't say I want to be or I'm going to be. Say I am.

I am a current you know I am.

So I challenge. That's my challenge for all of us.

I am. I am about to get the fuck up out of the head. Second, go see a man by the horse. So listen, y'all. If you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app or wherever the fuck you get your podcasts at. This is your co host AJ Holiday practicing self love all the way from Charlotte, North Carolina. Go ahead, tam K.

It's official tam Bam. Even if you don't love yourself, I love y'all. Okay, until you do, you got my love. Remember to follow me on Instagram official tam bam and remember to speak.

Now and never hold your peace.

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