Delicate like a Bomb

you went away. I heard that ship. You hear nothing. I war to God, mind your business. I swear to God, I heard that ship, and I meant to mention it literally. Look, but what I was about to say is shout out to the girl in the allens on page talking about how only Tammy love y'all, so like y'all needy motherfucker's y'all need everybody love y'all, Like, just be happy that somebody do. I love y'all. I really love y'all, and I appreciate when y'all come back to my comments telling

me y'all love me too. I like that energy. Keep sending it. I'm sending it to y'all. Y'all sitting back to me. Okay, don't worry about ain't gotta love y'all, y'all. I can do it for everybody. I love y'all for everybody, okay, Right. I have a lot of gratitude, okay, and appreciation for people. So if I could say anything, that's what it would be. But people you love tend to disappoint you. I ain't playing with people like that. I don't even like humans real.

I love y'all, I love all y'all. What's up, y'all? I had a time last night. At a time last night, I went, I went outside. I started at this place calling Fuse and Charlotte if you'll come to Charlotte us the places y'all need to pop into. I started at Infused and then I went to Stats. Sunday night on Stats is always a vibe. And then at the that's closed so or it closes at twelve o'clock on Sunday, which is weird to me because it's their biggest night.

They probably should stay up until too so they could keep getting that money. But right, I'm not the boss, so they closed at twelve o'clock. And then after that everybody goes to cloud and stay there until to something. And I did all of that. I was getting my Bernie's Burgo song because you know, I'm old. I was out with all these little young hoes drinking with that young ass. Now I was hurting this morning bad. I went to my meeting this morning, y'all like, hello, good

morning everybody. I'm sorry, I'm like I told Taylor asked he was gonna get on the micro side and like that set like Martin Lords moring to you, like to go out every Sunday night because that's the only day. Yes, that's my only day and the whole week to like do what I want the rest of the day is I gotta be a responsible adult. But I ain't been going outside that much like I've been in the house on Sunday. So I just came out yesterday. I'm going

out to night too. Though I didn't do much this weekend. Um. I went by one of my older cousins houses to try to get here to damn Altar addressed for me, and I found out some very interesting things about my family. Just havn't you know, because family is really important. I don't know if people realize that or not, and then understanding your lineage and ship like that. She had like tape recordings of elders in the family, Like I'm listening

to tapes. That's dope. I was so excited about that ship, like that's the type of ship I'm into. Like, yeah, I like that too. So now I'm ready to go to this area Summrton, South Carolina. That's where my dad family from. It's on the on the river Indians. Okay, but it's a whole like they our last name is a street down there. Land. I want to go a whole cemetery with all our people in Like, yes, I'm going to go on the future, you should do it.

And also yeah, come, come come, because earlier this year, like I had a whole list of different places I wanted to visit. One of the places no longer on the list the Georgia guidestones because themi got blown up during the summer. But y'all know we have like mounds and pyramids all around the United States, and Somerton has multiple mounds because you know, we mound builders, like the people from the Low Country area. So yeah, I want to go see all that ship so that was exciting

for me. Okay, yeah, that that sounds very exciting. I like like that. Um My, my descendants of my family are some you know, the white folks because my grandmother was mixed raised and my great grandmother didn't have any black but she was the product of like a rape honestly. Um. But the white descendants of my family have They still

have the plantation house that they live on. It's something to South Carolina, and I really want to go down there and talk about reparations because why is the descendants of their family they live in their house. I'm descended to this family. Where is my forty because in them, right, girl, it's probably down there. They probably don't want you like my Like my older cousin. She started telling me, like how the family that's in because summer tens near Sumter,

that's like Santine all that. Um. She was saying how they don't like the family from Charleston to come because it airs property down. They don't want people snooping, They don't want to answer no questions. Man and that ship because they still living on the land. But it's three brothers that split this land amongst each other and only their descendants. You know what I'm saying for one of their brothers, right families, But I wouldn't want anything from them.

I just want to What I would like is to be able to establish myself as a nation. But you can't do that by yourself. So I need family, Like that's why family is important. So we want to get anything from this government. We may not get the actual land that they owe us, but they gotta comp and sate us or the mule which I want, the motherfucking money. I want whole life insuring. I know what I want

for reparations. I don't know what y'all niggas, but I know what I want my When when I was young, my younger, when my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mother worked for South Carolina Archives in history, and I used to she used to let me read, like if you go there, you can read like slavery accounts in different like stories from like you know, slavery from black people who are living post slavery. I don't know about slavery stories, but like really, oh ship, you can go read it true

stories of black people. Yeah, So South contin So Charleston Archives are at the library here and they have Charleston has the best records, but you have to go and do the research. But they have all that ship at the State Archives. I believe it Charleston. That is one of the oldest cities in this country, you know, m Charlestown.

So people don't go check this stuff out and you you you will find like places like North Carolina, Tennessee where they burned down archive places because they don't want you to find that history out. So if you got access to that ship even just you know, they have uploaded some stuff online. I think it's um I'll get the website and tell y'all next week. I can't remember, but they have some of the stuff that's like online records. You can you can try to start, you know, researching

your lineage aside from um ancestry dot com. Like that's some bullshit. Yeah, I don't even trust that ship because I saw where somebody sitting their pet iguana's DNA like and it came back like the Guanaco. Listen those websites in the terms of conditions, it tells you for entertainment purposes only, like how can you send your blood and then find out what ethnic group in Africa they gonna tie you back to those people like you would have to have my ancestors DNA to do that. This ship

is for entertainment purposes. The only way you can't really get your true lineage is to talk to the elders in your family if they still around. That's about it. Mm hmm, all right, let's get into dumb internet news. What happened girl girl girls? So now I don't know if we're gonna play this on EBT or p p P, but the motherucking crab legs not disappeared from the Atlantic Ocean, not just the legs, the whole crab is gone. It's not just right, that's funny itself. The snow crabs have

disappeared for the waters around Atlanska. Scientists say over fishing is not the cause. So what do you think, Uh, this could be caused by I'm assuming like global warming is killing everything off. But y'all niggas ain't gonna have no snow crab legs this football season. Y'all gonna have to eat your chicken wings. Shame. So do you want to hear my theory on what's happening? Aside from the obvious?

When things like like when we start seeing like different animals and species of insects, animals, and she's like that start disappearing. We next. That's how I see it. But a lot of times is human manipulation, you know, because we can go in next when they talk about got the shoulders on butter, So now you gotta shoulder dr crab legs and fucking butter right now. The whole meal missing.

The whole meal is missing, you guys. Like, And I always be telling people I'm a whole mermaid, Like as much as I try to eat this straight plant based like, man, I cannot not eat seafood, okay, but there's a couple of things that happened this year, and I don't know if people follow this stuff. Mermaids eat fish though, because I feel like that would be cannibalism, right, girls, shut up all right, Like, as if other animals don't eat other animals in the sea, what the hell are we

talking about cannibals? That's cannibalism. That is non cannibalism. You're not eating the same species, You're not. You don't have mermaids eating mermaids how you know they don't eat each other? You know? You see the mermaids not Yeah, just like humans be eating each other, right, they do both ways. But okay, so look a few things happened this year

aside from Russia going to Ward Ukraine. Right, So I want to say, like maybe in March um Um one of the top Russian lawmakers, like real close to putin one of his aids he basically said they want Alaska back. Right. I think like maybe in the eighteen hundreds or some time, America purchased Alaska from Russia for like some millions, like seven million dollars at that time or something like that.

Now Russia wants Alaska back. That's one thing, right. The other thing is is that I don't know if y'all believe in this type of stuff, but this is eh J's conspiracy. Okay, we all knew where it was going. Yeah, that none of this is a conspiracy because it's all factual. Ship. I'm just laying out another perspective on how to look at why the crab legs are disappearing from Alaska, the crabs, not just the names the crabs. Why the crabs are disappearing,

Why the snow crab legs disappearing? Just legs in the seat girl that is wild. Okay, Okay, so Russia wants Alaska back. I don't know if y'all study like ancient civilizations and stuff like that, like the an anarchy all that, Like they say, these people still exist in an Antarctic,

which is like right above Alaska. Um. Another thing that happened this year was that Russia hosted war games with China, so you know, China is kind of like complicit with how Russia is handling Um, Ukraine and stuff like right

there on the same team essentially. So I want to say me be in August and September, they had war games in Alaska on the in Alaska and those waters, So what we are dropping nuclear missiles and stuff, what we are doing in the water, And that could explain why the species because they say snow crabs are like the most abundant. It's like billions. The crustaceans are just not there exactly, so they're in abundance. So it's not like you can over fish them, so they're not dying

from being over fished. It's something else that's happening in that water. It could be Alaska being contaminated by Russia. Who knows, but I think it's human manipulation, is what we're experiencing right now. It could be all right, this is a conspiracy theory of my own. It could be a portal to different dimensions under the water. And one of the motherfucker's slipped down in it and they cooked it over there, and it was like, oh, this ship

tastes good. It's fishing, and they sucked all of them today's side and said, y'all, y'all can't handle crab legs. I mean, I believe there is a portal in Antarctica. I believe that, So that could be they could be getting the funk on through because they know something about

to happen on this realm. Y'all forgot that. Cern did this damn hydro collider earlier this year where they try to pierce a hole in the universe to create black matter, dark dark matter, all these different things that transpired this year. You gotta take into consideration when we start seeing ship we've never seen before. But yeah, that's scary, y'all if you think about it's kind of scary, like billions of crustaceans are just missing billions. That's crazy, Like where did

they go? Right? Or it could be something simple like them trying to hike the price up on snow crabs because they know bitches be buying it on E B T Right. I don't know the snow crab girls just stop sucking like they boycotting they niggas and they're like, we're not fucking making no more billions. God dange, have you been following what's been going on with Tasha K and Cardi B at all? Um not really tell me

what happened. So you know, Cardi B sued Tasha K this year the laws who actually started in twenty nineteen, I believe. But she sued Tasha k Um in a defamation case. So we all know that the UM defense against um defamation or slander is the truth, right. So Tasha K wasn't able to prove that what she was saying about Cardi B was true, so the course of

waterhor her four million dollars. So Cardi B right now is using the courts to take that bitch house all types of ship, like she wants her coins from Tasha K. And you got a lot of people who me personally, I don't like the blog ship. You know what I'm saying, The more we build out plat form. We could end up one of those people that somebody's prying into our private lives to put it on the internet for money.

Like I know, people say, oh, that comes with celebrity, right, It shouldn't, though, you know what I'm saying, Like, I literally want to start a blog and I won't tell you all the name of it because I'm gonna do it one day, but I'm going I would like to let blogs see how it feels to have somebody exposed that day baby Daddy got a baby on the way Christmas Day to the world before you even know that is devastating to ruin somebody's day like that, And that's

the type of ship that they'd be doing. It's really shady. Like I unfollow all the different blogs. I haven't followed all the blogs during uh goddamn monkey pocks because I was tired of seeing that ship on my goddamn timeline. Like y'all ain't manifesting that bullshit from my skin. Okay, but we've been talking about people. We do talk about people ship, but I think it's a difference between spectating and giving your opinion on what you see as opposed

to actually paying keep both for information prying. You got somebody's best friend getting four hundred dollars to give a video this little Nah. I'm not into that. I'm not and we're not on here trying to tear nobody down. Yes, and I'm not into like subscribing to a subscription to get fucking people other people business that. It is weird to me. I don't like that industry. You shouldn't be able to say and do what you want to do

to people like exactly. There should be uh repercussions for doing and saying ship That's all I'm saying, But not to Kanye. I don't want to go there in their mind never mind, never mind. No, yeah, you want to go there, but I don't do. No, let's go down for two seconds. Forgive me for saying that I don't want What did he say, though? Tell me what did he say? It's just the fit all comments that kind

of It wasn't the knee. It was a fitting al. But I went to look at all the reports and it shows that it was a lack of oxygen that killed him. It wasn't the fitting al. Okay, So in that particular thing, okay, the thing with Kanye even saying that they did report he had fitting all in this system. I don't believe that the police gave him fitting off. But it was definitely not just that need to the neck.

That's why I was confused why those other cops didn't get the same amount of time, because it's the pressure of all three of those grown men on top of that one man. Yeah, that caused something to not breathe exactly, asphyxiation, which is what the cause of death was. So yeah,

and what else you don't agree with? That was just my It was just my biggest thing that when he went there was like, come on, Kanye is you know it's a very very sense of the topic and you know, just to say things like that, and with the type of platform here, it's just kind of like, yeah, come on. So yeah, you mentioned in in in regards to with Tasha k and what's going on with Cardi B. Let's

stay on topic. Then yeah, you should. Like I said before when I first started talking about them, the cure, the remedy for uh slander case for defamation, a character case is always going to be the truth. So you have to prove what you said, what you wrote, what's true, Tasha K wasn't able to do that, and I don't feel like you should just be able to say and do what you want to do to people in America like that ship should not come with celebrity. It shouldn't.

She was saying like, oh, she got herpes or baby gonna be slow, all kind of weird things tashak And then she hasn't She hasn't digressed either. She's stole online making like means like I just I just withdraw my last thousand dollars. I ain't got no money. So it's just like, I feel like Cardie could be really want to fight her, and because I can't physically put my hand on you, like this is the next next best thing,

I'm gonna just destroy your whole existence. And some people may see that as evil, but I believe what Tasha K did to Cardi B as evil. We already know Cardi B as the type of person who she can't take criticism from one right, and again that should not come with mean comments, people waking up just to be meaning you shouldn't come with being a celebrity. You know what I'm saying, And that's what happens. And then talking

about our people, kids and ship like that. Yeah, it's just not one tashak, because one tashak spreading that type of rhetoric multiplies into you know, twenty thousand tashaks and her comments, and that does affect people. People have said mean things to me and my comments nine as big as I'm not a star like celebrity, and that should affects you, even though you may say it doesn't, it does.

So it does mean. I think my skin has gotten a little more thicker over the um years, just because it's just been talking about about me my whole life exactly. I was like, damn, I remember when I was like little I was. I wouldn't even high school yet, and I was a whole I ain't even fucking how am I home? Not home? I'm not even fucking yet. Like it was in your aura, even then, I had a horror. That's exactly what it was. They saw that ship coming. Okay, all right, so look the last thing I saw was

this little boy white Kao Cireus. He's tripping out. He's driving on the highway in Hollywood. I'm assuming because he says anybody could come to Beverly Hill Center and rob him, right, now, and that's where I'm at. Nigga. First of all, anybody coming to Beverly Hill Center to do anything to you in broad daylight? Okay, off, maybe brascos, but not the Beverly Center. That was a hard joke. But rest in peace.

What's his name? PNB? Yeah? PNB Rock so um. Apparently he's having some type of breakdown because it sounds like his voice is treamling like he was crying. He was saying, how little baby don't sunk with him no more? He hasn't spoken to Drake, Drake hasn't funked with him no more. And he was like, I should just die, you know, I could just die now, Like do nobody in the industry funk with me? You know? To me, this sounds like he's running out of money. M hmm, that's what

it sounds like to me. Yeah, one good hit. Yeah. My thing thing is why y'all want to die about being poor? I've been poor before. If I get poor again, I'm still want to be here. I could survive. I've been happy poor, you know. Yes, let me tell you. Whenever you feel like that and you feel like you know there's nothing left, you always got yourself. I've always got me because I funk with me, and that's the most priceless thing you got. All that you don't hold

the same value as yourself. Yeah, you know how I feel about suicide. Like, if you're gonna do it, and do it, don't be publicizing it. It's really abusive. It's abusive to the public. It's abusive to people who love you. I'm pretty sure your mom's seeing that. Like, people who close to you, who actually have a relationship with you and love you, don't want to see you saying ship like that just because a couple of niggas in the industry don't sunk with you. Um, the side of this thing,

you know. Recently, they was talking laughing at him, asked, I guess it was a rumor that he was working with Ditty or some crazy ship like that. At some point they asked him about it on the Breakfast Club. I had talked something like in my mind, now I'm looking at you, like, did you do some ship you regret and now they didn't deliver on the things that were offered to you for doing those things? Did you

beend the knee? What happened right? What happened? No? Matter what happened, it's still ain't worth dying about, you know. I mean, I I don't know what death looks like, so I don't know what's on the other side. It might be I don't know what. Yeah, it might be lit on the other side. So I mean, if you want to go, go, but send us an email. That can't send email for you? Why we get ghosts emails all the time? What like spam? What the fucking schools

sending these emails? They ain't dead people, We don't pis. I promise you I ain't got an email from a dead motherfucker. Get I promise you I had. You don't know. It might be in your junk box, it might be in your spam box. You know. No, I know I can't. I'm pretty much sure. But you know, all right, Because people swear we joke about everything, suicide is not a joke. Suicide is very serious. It's a very real issue, and I think it's become a greater issue in our country

then it used to be. Yes, people are, people are stressed out, people are going through changes, and really only a strong gonna survive. But if you don't want to survive, you know you have we have to want to survive, you know what I'm saying. Um, it's just a tough time for everybody. And there's a couple of things that I can name that may play a part in what

people are experiencing. But it's one thing I always think about when people say, you know, one thing I think about when people do abruptly commit suicide and nobody knew that they were suicidal. Like that young girl, um who committed suicide last last month. I forgot her name though. She was like one of these rappings fitness, young lady, beautiful. Yeah, so she took her life, and I feel like, this

is just my spiritality, spirituality kicking in right. It's almost like people who do commit suicide, it's something in that moment that they realized that there saying that they don't like. She said that she was like she never felt like she belonged here. It's like that's just what her her her soul or her spirit came to experience and she was ready to go. I feel like you should be able to have control of your own life in that way if you don't want to be here anymore. Yeah.

So I just I look at suicide different nowadays. I used to think about it differently, but yeah, I just look at suicide different nowadays. Um, there was this woman and I saw like there was a documentary about it, but I can't think of the name at the moment. But she was the mother of two white males who had like this illness that gave them zero quality of life.

And she took care of them, you know. But she was getting old and she was about to die, and she knew that nobody was gonna take care of her sons the way she would take care of him, so she killed him. She killed both of them, and she called it a mercy killing. Yeah, And I feel like hospitals do that all time, just take people out. I feel like they do do that. And I and I and I was I was torn, like, you like, how

do you get to decide for them? You know, because they can't there They were non verbal, they weren't you know, they couldn't do much of nothing, but just exists right right. Um, So I don't want to be like that me neither. I don't want to ever be like that. But a part of me is like, you're not God, so you shouldn't be able to decide that for them. But you are their mother and you're the only one who taking

care of him. And that's God. This I see. Women are the closest thing, if if, if you believe there's a higher power and there's like this big thing in the sky for you, I feel like on earth, women are the closest thing you want to get to to God. We literally give life for real, We cultivated and we give life. So um, you know. I also feel like women are just a portal so we can take it away too, tell me that all the time. Yeah, I

brought you in here, I'll take y'all. But the thing is is that you are just a portal, right for that other human being, and once they get here, they are their own entity. You don't own another human being, even your child, right. But in that case, like she, they would probably end up somewhere dying miserably anyway, because nobody would take care of you like your mama would. And that's just the truth. And that was and they they put her ass to jail. She died in jail.

That's where. Yeah, man, that's sad. So was she old? She was, yeah, she was getting old, Okay, she was getting older. And she's like you know, I don't feel well anymore. I feel like my days are numbered and I don't want to leave them here like this wouldn't about me to take care of them, right, and then the state ain't gonna take care of them like that either, Like they would have just died in a hospital somewhere,

died in some type of adult facility. As soon as you put your family members in those type of places, they end up dying. You know. It becomes like hospice care in a short period of time, maybe up out of here. M So, I feel like the hospitals do it, but they like to play god. Yeah, it's okay for them to play god because they don't took the oath. They got all of hundred thousand dollars and student loans and all his bullshits, and now you get to play god.

I don't like that crazy world, I know, right, but listen, y'all, Okay, we're gonna take a break right quick, and when we come back, we want to get into the strong black woman thrope. What y'all think about that thrope? Not your throat. We know y'all got strong throats. We're talking about the throat. We'll be back all right, y'all, So we are two black women, right, Okay. I believe the majority of our listeners are black women, And um, what I wanted to

talk about is like the the strong black woman saying misconception. Um. I read this article and I'm just gonna read the the just the first little paragraph because it kind of explains what I want to talk about. So it's so it says the stereotype of the strong black woman is

more than just a cultural throat. Many black women in America report feeling pressured to act like superwoman, projecting themselves as strong, self sacrificing and free of emotion to cope with stress of race and gender based discrimination in their daily lives. That's our motherfucking wait to carry forever in America. I think that's you know, it is a stereotype, but it has it's something that's been passed down to us from slavery. We've had to be the strong black woman.

We've had like they would take our our male counterpart and beat them, tie one side of his body, like his legs to a horse, and tie his hands to another horse, and then beat both horses until a rip the nigga apart in front of you. You know, we had to like see these things and feel like, Okay, we may not have our male counterpart to take care of us, so we have to be strong for ourselves

and for our children. And I think that ideology has been passed down after generation the generation of generation, and then it almost became like a badge of honor, like I'm the strong, proud Black woman, but I'm over that ship. Well, you know, we can go back to slavery, but a lot of people and like as you may take it, that's a black holocaust, and that's still happening today. Right. The thing is that those same things all will happen two women. Um, those same things also happened to other

ethnic groups of women, other races of women. But you don't hear Indian women going around saying I'm a strong Indian woman, or Asian saying I'm a strong Chinese woman.

So what is the thing about black culture where you know, that's like a self proclaimed title that we've taken on and it has hurt, It has hurt and harmed us um and kind of motivated us at the same time, right, because now we're looking for um, good relationships with our men and that strong black woman thing comes in and it's a problem mm hmm uh in the hospital setting when you know, given birth, we don't get the same type of medical care, same type of pain medicine, because

we are supposedly these wrong that can take all this pain. Like the whole O B G. Y in system was built off of experiments that these white doctors were doing on black women when no anesthesia. M Like, it's a real thing, not a conspiracy. These things happen. So now we've just been carrying this, this this false badge of honor, and it doesn't help us in our day to day lives at this point. I agree, you know, so we've

had to be strong. I feel like black men also have had to be strong, but they can't say, oh, I'm a strong black man. We would probably look at them like, you know what I'm saying. So why is it I want my say here strong? Because then we start comparing their struggle to ours as women. No, because I didn't. I can see that because I'm I'm living a soft life over here. Let's talk about it. In order for black women to be able to live a soft life, right that that that the dynamics within our

relationships with black men. Well, then have to change because again, the way black women are it's a trauma response. It's not how we want to be. But maybe we can start living our soft life before the men come into it, so then they can see our life is a soft life and you need to be like the strong black man that we need. So I found a list of

things to help you live a soft life, lady. First thing is to schedule me time to be nurturing to yourself, to help restore your energy so you're not running on empty all the time, because a lot of us are always on e so you need to date. Start setting dates with yourself. Schedule me time, whatever that looks like. To get away from your kids, even to just be sitting still in peace is me time, So schedule me time. That's number one. Number two, cultivate new belief about rest.

It says if you tie yourself worth to how productive you can be, uh you grow an environment where you're called lazy, or if you grew up in an environment where you're called lazy for relaxing, you may feel guilty when you aren't busy. Rest shouldn't be a response or reward for overworking. Yourself, make time for rest, Ladies, prioritize rest. Yeah, I agree with that. Um, oftentimes Black women we get

into relationships where we're having to always build with somebody else. Right, not saying that other groups of women don't do this, but I like, just I'm just speaking about Black America because even like we would say, some African nations don't even have to go through this, like the men know the roles and women know the role and it works. You know. Um, this is just based on our experience

in America. Oftentimes, you don't really have that much time to rest unless you're like really single, single with no kids. But if you're in a relationship, especially with an entrepreneur, they want you to be the secretary. You gotta do all these things as still performing in the bedroom, if this kid's involved, you still gotta do that too. It's like there's really no time to chill out, there's no

time to relax, but you have to. You have to prioritize your rest because I mean, ladies, it starts to show up on your face baby when you when you look at you, you look at a bit like damn, she looked like she had a hard life, you know, and it's because we're not prioritizing our rest. And another reason is because we're not wearing sunscreen. Y'all start wearing sunscreen, black girl. Sunscreen is a thing. It's a product I use,

and it will help your face. If you don't have to struggle, don't Struggling doesn't always make the journey worthwhile or the destination meaningful. You don't have to struggle to have an empowering, relatable, or inspirational story. We aren't all dealt the same cards. So if you're currently have access to things that make it easier for you to accomplish something or achieve your goal, take it. Don't feel guilty,

choose easy over hard every time. Okay, let's talk about that for a second, because I feel like in the black community is almost like if you didn't struggle, you and ship, it's like you ain't get that out of the mud exactly. I don't like that because everybody's bottom is different, Like my bottom is different from yours. My bottom might be you know, the damn dirt to somebody else.

You know what I'm saying. Everybody has a bottom, So why are we criticizing people who didn't have to struggle, right, you know what I'm saying. And for whatever reason, in in the black community, black women are supposed to struggle in relationships. We're supposed to have struggle love we have, We're supposed to have grown up struggling, you know what I'm saying, in order for people to respect our hustle or respect who we are now as a person, Like,

why is that? Why do I have to struggle with a man um in order to get the reward of just simply just the love, right? Why do I have to do that? You don't have to Yeah, that's what this this is, That's what this is saying. But we for whatever reason, It's almost like niggas test you, Like why are you testing me? Either you funk with me or you don't. You know what I'm saying, Like, don't

don't do anything. I saw a post the other day and I and I posted it on my story and somebody one of my homeboys and boxed me and he was like, that's not toxic because in the video it's a guy like smiling, like licking his tongue out. He was so excited because the bitches on the other side of the phone going crazy. The caption was like when you when you when you add a girl to make your woman mad or something like that, Why are you intentionally making me mad? Why do you want to disturb

a woman's peace in that way? I just think like these men are also dealing with their own trauma, and they'll be taking this along for the ride. Yes, Because the thing is is that if you ask a man what he wants from a woman, nine percent of the men will say I want peace. But a lot of these niggas, excuse me, A lot of these men do not know how to facilitate peace, nor do they know

how to maintain peace. You aren't peace You aren't even peaceful, yet you're demanding peace from somebody else when you're the disturbance. Imagine that, right, be my piece. You're not even peaceful, So I'm supposed to be your piece all while I'm losing their head. Yeah, be my piece? Nah? Alright. Number four that let people help you. This is a good one, because, yeah, this is a big one. If you have well intended people in your circle of us willing to help you,

let them help you. God damn, they're hit home. Because I know a lot of people who don't accept help, or afraid to ask for help from people who are willing, you know. So that's a big one. Ladies, let people help you. Yeah, and that is actually like one of my things I work on the most is asking for help. You know what I'm saying, Because I'm the type of person. I am very intuitive, I'm an EmPATH. I can feel when somebody need help, so I make it to where

they don't even have to ask me. I'm offering, you know what I'm saying. So I kind of look for that too for people, like just in general conversation on me telling you what's going on, whatever I want you to offer, especially for men. You know what I'm saying, I don't wanna have to come and ask you for ship. I feel like you should just already be doing. I'm sorry that that may be a thing because there's a lot of women who are afraid to ask. Now, I'm not afraid to ask a man for nothing. I'm not

afraid to ask for ship. I don't know how I learned that when I learned that, but I would let you know what I need very upfront. But that's because I'm also generous, you know, So I'm gonna let you know what I need because you ain't got no problem. Let me know what the funk you need exactly. And I feel like that's a big problem for a lot

of black women. Like if you you have to be upfront with, especially in relationships, whatever you want like me, Like see say, for instance, you want to sugar dad, you want somebody to take care of you. You You need to say that ship up front first and foremost, not after. You don't gave up your damn couci And now you've got all these demands. Now you're trying to figure out what are we No, you need to ask for what you want. Let people know what you want, what paid

you on up front? Yeah, because I mean it just sells. It sets healthy boundaries for that relationship when you set your expectations in the beginning. Right. So that's kind of a little bit off topic, a little bit from asking for help. But if you're overwhelmed, right, you got people around you who love you. Like I know for a fact, I don't use my resources like I should. I don't because I don't like being disturbed. And this could be

like one of my little um things. I will help people, but at the same time, I don't like being disturbed, so I don't disturb other people, you know what I mean. So I can literally be in the closet dying child and I ain't gonna tell anybody I'm gonna I'm gonna figure it out. I know you You know those posts that say, um if if your girl say I'll figure it out, she's gonna figure that shot out and she with you. No more like that's me for real, I'll

figure it out. Because I don't like the word no. I don't like when I do muster up the courage to ask somebody about something and maybe acting like they can't come through for me. I don't like that. I don't like no, they don't bother me. I just asked the next motherfucker, you can't do it alright, I need a manage and on to the next. It's kind of like cold calling. You know, you calling enough people, somebody gonna say, not the customer service, a begging cold call

you motherfucking I ain't mad at nobody, stupid. Number five. Speak to yourself kindly. This is one of the ones that I have to work on all the time. That negative self talk that's in your head is just telling you things that aren't right about yourself or aren't good enough, and it's in your brain and you have to like really get that negative say funk that negative inner voice and speak out loud nice things to your self. My challenge everybody to stop what they're doing right now, go

look in the mirror and say something fucking nice to yourself. Yes, it's the subconscious mind you gotta work on. And that's another thing, daily, daily, on a daily basis, I'm doing different practice. This isn't rituals. So I can change my subconscious mind. So even even like when I start having a negative, negative thought, you know what I picture. I picture like a box and I'm putting that thought in a fucking box, and I'm trying a motherfucker balloon to

that box, and I'm letting it float away. I'm letting it go and I'm replacing it with a better thought. Because the present is all we have. We don't have the future anymore. I mean, we don't have the future. We don't have the past. Right the present, present, right now is all you got. So you have the ability to create a better past. You got the ability to create a better future, but it happens in the now, So when you're sitting there having all these negative thoughts.

Right now, you're sucking up your past and you're sucking up your future. Period. So you gotta let list stuff go, Let things go, Let that hurt go. Girl. I told you to go to the mirror, is because I know you didn't get up. I said, go to the mirror and say something nice to your motherfucker's self. Go do it like we give other people compliments all day long. Give yourself some complex. Bit you're doing a good job. Bit you're doing a good job. Period. Whatever it is.

Whatever you notice something good about yourself, say it out loud to yourself. Damn my titties sitting up nice today. Damn I'm smart, Damn I'm funny. Is hell? Ain't it that brings me the number six? Stop trying to be humble? Yeah, trying to be humble this list because in the black community it's almost like they you need to be humble. Are y'all always trying to humble? Somebody listening? Three and

beyond being humble? If you the ship, act like it, okay, and then and then if you're trying to get to be the ship, it starts today again in the now Okay, stop being humble, ladies, that's old. Starting today, we're gassing ourselves up. Gass yourself up, toot your horn, yes, because who else gonna do it? And funny who got a problem with it? Exactly because I can recall being in relationships where I couldn't depend on my mate to do it.

You know what I'm saying, I had to you gotta be your own self starter, You gotta be your own chairleader sometimes because in some of these relationships these men is almost like they are in competition with you. You know what I'm saying, Like somebody not telling you that you're pretty, and when we're looking for that, like we can go outside and like thirty other men are telling us how beautiful you are. Right, But if that man that's in the home with you or the man you're

with isn't doing that, it's abuse for women. I get men who say something like, man, I don't be wanting to say that to you because I know you hear that ship all day long and that's bullshit. So what so yeah, I want to hear it from you too, Yo go, yo go. It's that exactly. Never get enough, Never get enough. Number seven, focus on what you can control.

Stop fucking worrying girl. That's my mantra. Yeah. I got a tattoo on my middle finger, on my right middle finger, and it's apostrophe e M fuck them to all things uncontrollable. And I got this tattoo like twenty years old. Okay, So I always worry about little things. Big ship, I'd be like, damn, fuck it, I just gotta deal with it. But it'd be little things that give me a goddamn headache. Man, But in a real way, like you really have to be like fuck it and control of things that you

can control. You can't control everything, but what you can't control, do that ship? Yeah, because I mean I know me, like I'll be on the airplane baby, having a whole anxiety attack, Like, Lord, what is the pilot? Do it up there? I can't control that. I just have to be calm and just know that God got me and whatever will be case Iraq Sara, whatever will be will be. What I mean, Yeah, it's hard to surrender, you know

what I'm saying. And again this even comes through in relationships, surrendering to your partner, surrendering like to a man that is capable. It's hard for us because of how a lot of us have been raised a strong black woman. Thing, like, you think you're gonna stop being a strong black woman when you get a strong black man, you might be trying to overpower that man. You're gonna run his ass away because you can't submit, exactly. But that's hard. That's

you know, that's a hard thing for me. But just because I come from a line of strong black women, strong single as black women. Now that I think about it, let's be clear, and it's hard to submit because you can't you especially when you're you know, you've been running your own life successfully and then you gotta here come this man and you want trusting with the finances and trusting with it. I want to. I want that, but

I don't want as are usually the woman thing. You know what I'm saying, Smart men usually give their money to of the woman because women are well okay, I was about to say, okay, because you do have some people who are some women that are just bad with money, and collectively black women have more debt, you know, because we're getting the student we're getting the student loans and all, like, yeah, we got the higher education, but we also come into

relationships and a lot of debt, credit card dat student loan debt, tax debt, all that ship. You know, mean, while you're marrying a man who didn't go to college. Maybe he's a business owner, he's an entrepreneur. He didn't come with all that ship, right number eight, Stop trying to be the hero. I hope you listening, bitch. It's a bit out there that I know for a fact, savor who but always save with somebody, always like always finding a fixer upper of a person so she can

just go help their lives. You can't heal and fix and rescue everyone, especially if you yourself aren't healed. So sometimes you just need to focus your energy or rescue with your motherfucking self and stop trying to heal everybody else. So I feel like those types of people are necessary helpers, heroes.

They are necessary. But the problem is that the people that they usually attract, our users, you know, they're not They're not the guys or the women who are gonna, you know, get the help and and stay with him. Be don build this man up for the next bitch. Me personally, I don't mind passing on a refurbished nigger. I don't mind. Okay, if I helped him do something and now you know he's a better person for the next woman, then so be it. But women, I do

not suggest you ever building a man. They will resent you when they do get on because you know them. You know somebody when they're really rich, and you know the real person when they really poor, and you know ship fucked up right. Usually that's how it works out. Like when Koye said, he leaves you asked for a white girl, like that's a real thing. M it's a

real thing because men, men don't like that. He'll then go on to another woman who don't even know his struggle and do all the things you begged him to do. Don't be the hero. Yeah, because a lot of times you end up losing yourself and straight away from your own trying to help someone else. So find the courage to focus on rescuing and keeping yourself. Yeah, it's honey. Number nine. Prioritize joy. Indulge in things that make you smile,

make you feel genuinely happy. Prioritize that into your life. Tell me a thing, Tell me a thing that makes you happy. Aside for money and family, food, I really enjoy food. I enjoy trying new foods. So if you're someone who enjoys food, like prioritize going to different a different restaurant and maybe even like let's say you can't afford a lot, going to try looking at their menu and you're finding an advertiser that sounds really good and

going to try it, right, I'm yelled, queen. One of the things that makes me happy, aside from family and like money and ship like that are material things, is serving. I like to cook and I like to serve people to food. And before I even make my plate, I'm looking at you to get you to tell me, like what's the score? Can I get a thumbs up? Like how it tastes? Like how do you enjoy this? Yes,

that ship makes me fucking happy. I literally used to fight one of what one of my exes, girl, because I would cook this nigga some food like take my time, like even a burger, bitch is gonna be gore mate, Okay, let's be clear, handmade, and he wouldn't eat immediately, and that would piss me off so bad because I want you to taste my food fresh, my mama, Yes, I would recook your food on a stove just so you can get like the full enjoyment out of its happy

coming eat it while it's hot. Yes, Actually, like why is that an argument? Why I gotta argue with you to come eat? You? Was just around here actel like he was about to die from hunger, and now I actually take the time and cook for you, and like you just got the fucking food sitting there getting cold. That's that to me? That is like you don't have any regard for my time, yeah, at all, because you know what's gonna be out here cooking. Yeah, I'm bitches

right there cooking. You know what. It's crazy because I haven't since I've been single, I have not been cooking like I used to when I was in a relationship. I used to be all on like different There's this website called Diva's Can Cook, and I would go to a different restaurants, I mean recipes and like like oh baby,

look when I'm making a day for you. I used to be like making pineapple boats with teryaki chicken and rice and all and make it cute and giving him drinks with little umbrellas in it, like uh yeah, a real extra and the most. Now I got a single and a bit with door Dash, the funk out of food. That ship is too expensive, y'all, that damn door dash. You you you be don orders out for seventeen dollars and your dad your dad tab Yeah no, I'll be there

to pick it up. Cancel. But whatever your joy looks like, and it don't have to be nothing that you have to buy. Dance into your favorite song, watching an episode of your favorite show, reading your favorite book, wearing your favorite shoes. Whatever joy looks like for you, do it, bit, start doing it, Start prioritizing it into your life. Okay, because you look up and you ain't wore your favorite shoes all year. You ain't dead. Oh yeah, you look up.

You ain't dance, you all. It's three seasons of your show, your favorite shoulder came out, and you ain't watched a single episode. You have done nothing. You ain't prioritize your joy at all. So let's get back to that and to him the last one. Accept that you are worthy and deserving mm hmm. You have to accept that. You have to decide it and believe it and accept that for yourself. That's the word. That's a big word, that word decide. I'm gonna give. Let me give, y'all a um.

I decided On Sunday, I decidedly. I don't know if you looked at my story, but it looked like scribble scratched the people. I don't know if people. If you guys know what a sigil is. A sigil, it's like it's a magic ship. Right. So you take a phrase or an affirmation, write you write it down, and then you take the letters from this phrase or after amation, and you arrange it into a photo. You arrange it

into a picture. So like if if you're saying, I decide, you take the letters out of those words and you you can do this on the computer. You could do a free hand, but you arrange them in a certain way, you know, and you put it out there. You might want to burn it, but you gotta charge it up, charge it up, you know what. Maybe you dance around it, maybe you have sex around it, maybe you just meditate around it. Whatever it is that you charge it up, right,

pray around it. Yep. You put it out there and you get rid of it, forget about it and watch how shit fucking manifest. On Sunday, I had a sigil on my story and this guy. Are you calling him my husband? Anyway? So my husband messaged me and he was like, what what what? What is this? I said, it's a sigil and all it says is I decide. I decided. It actually said I decided I can send it to you, m And I was I was making a decision about multiple things. I was following out with

a home girl. All these different things was happening. But I made out my mind on Sunday about a lot of things. And I was laying in bed last night and I realized that the things I decided on or against everything in my fucking favor, everything and in my favor. As a Monday Sunday, I did this thing, and I'm like, damn, what the fuck? Because I'm like, okay, I'm gonna let me, let me break it down just a little bit more. So me and this friend were we fell out right.

So I'm I was supposed to be going to her wed and this Saturday, I'm not. I'm no longer going to the wed and I I lit another friend convinced me to tell her I wasn't coming. But obviously she wasn't expecting me because she had a whole bridle shower yesterday that I wasn't invited to, but so be it. But I decide that's one of the things I decided on on that Sunday, right, and on Monday, I got a big opportunity that came to me Monday for the same day as her wedding. Mm hmm. So once I

decided that I'm letting this relationship go, other doors opened up. Right. Look at God, So decide, Yeah, that's where the magic started. It starts in your mind. Wants you to decide you don't need anything to deserve the soft life. It doesn't have to be earned. When we believe and we decide we're worthy of a life guided by ease and comfort, we will reject things that don't align with that vision

and make decisions that get us closer to maintaining that lifestyle. So, ladies, decide today that you deserve the soft life, and then you're gonna have it all right. I love y'all. I love y'all for real. Why am I so filled with love? I don't know. It's gratitude. It's a gift and occurs sometimes. But when I say I love y'all mean that ship I do. So y'all take this list. This comes from exo Nicole dot com if you want to go back

over it and read it for yourself. But you can always just listen to our show again and stream it. So look not to say we're weak, because we ain't weak at all, right, but we real delicate like a bomb careful, right versus a flower. Be careful with black women. So when we say we're strong, like, yeah, it's a real thing, but just be careful, be real, real careful, because the goddamn univers don't play about us. That's what I do know. Okay, it just doesn't. But you don't

have to be strong no more. Let go really surrender. So whatever that life to the soft life. Here's to the soft life, ladies. Listen, we got our consultations up on. We talked back E n T dot com right, so you can literally book a session to talk to either one of us or both of us, whatever you want to do, y'all. Check it out is we talk back I n T dot com right. Call me if y'all need me to tell y'all how much I love y'all individuals. Y'all can't do that, I will, right, Yeah, but we're

gonna have merch coming soon. It's just a process. It's a whole process, girl. But at least we've got a website now and it's really nice. First of all, Um, the lovely von Schelle one of my friends, good friends off events that I met her on Instagram, but she's also from the low Country. Child. When I tell you, God sent God for real for all. Anyway, listen, I enjoyed this episode. It gave me um a lot of insights.

So listen, guys, if you enjoyed this episode, please is tuning every Thursday on an I Heart radio app or wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host, aj Holiday two point oh. On instagrams, y'all follow us, and again that website is we Talk Back in n T dot com. Y'all check it out. Um, still more updates coming up on it, but yeah, it's out there. Send us some dumb bad stories, the ask

a black friend questions all that good. Shoot. If y'all see some funny ship online, send it to us too, all right, y'all follow me on Instagram official tam Bam. I love y'all. That's all I got coming up. God bless you, good night, Remember speak now and never hold your piece