Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.
So we're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talk.
What would have we talked Back? Where we encourage you to hustle hard, laugh, ladder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about to go down. What's up, y'all, it's your girl a j holiday. What's up?
Tam bam, yew hey girl, Hey y'all. I missed y'all. I'm missed you.
Yelling bitch, I missed you too.
Well, Damn, you're brobing me. My ex boyfriend when I was happy, he used to be like, stop being so happy. How was your weekend? Girl?
We recovering from the fucking uh fig snowstorm we had last week. I ain't do shit. I literally was in the house from Tuesday morning.
Now I leave.
I didn't leave the house at some point on Tuesday, but I was in the house. No, I did not. I was in the house from Monday to Sunday. Damn the whole week, hermit the whole week. So it did snow real bad on Tuesday, but I was sitting in the fucking house waiting on FedEx bitch ass. Shout at the FedEx bitch ass for several days, waiting on breaks from my car in my new laptop.
Damn. So when she says the snowstorm we probably had like an inch, No, it.
Was heavy though, BJ actually flipped to his car. He yeh yes girl. Tuesday night, on the way on, I called him. I was like, we need a paper towel because we about to be in the house for a couple of days or whatever. We weren't on on paper towels. So some kept telling me, like, call that nigga because he taken too long, So I called him. He answered the phone maybe about ten fifteen minutes later. He called me back and he's running like out of breath. Somebody
just ran me off the road. I'm running to the Chick fil a. I'm like, what, you know what like an emergency happens, like you cannot get yourself together quick enough because I'm in the house. I don't took a shower, I'll got a clothes on. It's ten o'clock. Why I care about this?
Where am I? I've talked to you several times and nowhere have you seen I'm gonna tell you why, because a near death experience.
Because this nigga act like nothing happened, Like I didn't understand the severity of it until I saw the car because of how he was acting after the facts. Now that in the moment of right you while' on the phone, I'm like grabbing my pistol. I'm like, did somebody did somebody run him off the road?
Right like?
So now I'm got the car loaded up, but I gotta get outside. It's real snow because the car is covered with ice snow. So luckily I done lived in the areas like this, so in my trunk because I ain't really a girl, I got like the scraper, a little brush thing like for snow. So I gotta let the car warm up. All is just my life is in slow motion, bitch, trying to get that. And then now I got to drive through roads that really has snow.
There's no car so like the snow is thick on the highway, sliding like so now I'm it takes me twenty minutes to get five miles on the highway. Yeah, so he found he wouldn't answer the phone on the phone, going to voicemail bitch. I'm like, y're you panikin What the fuck is happening?
Mm hmm.
So he finally calls you back and he's calm. He's like, yeah, I'm with the police. I'm at the home depot now though, and I'm like, okay, I'm having a drive real slow. So now he's calm, more calm, So I get there. He outside with the police, get the little ticket right up. Whatever. So somebody pulled in front of him and he had to slap like, why are you even abruptly pulling in front of people on icy highway?
Icy? In there to face These motherfuckers don't know nothing about snow and ice. They don't know how to drive.
Ever, it's nothing to play with. Okay, black ice, for sure ain't nothing to play with because the inner state seems like it doesn't get as much snow on it, but there's always black ice.
Right because they riding over it and the water freezes on the ground and it just looks dark.
Yeah. So the person like came in front of him and then he had to slam on brakes, which then caused him to like the car flipped two times down into the embankment on the on the side of the highway, tree came through the fucking windshield. All at this nigga, don't have a scratch on him?
God covering him flip two times? I'm girl, why he was exaggerating this?
He in here acting like it didn't happen. Like I'm hearing him on the phone telling people, act like you almost died, my nigga, did you get your back?
Don't hurt? Why? That's why?
Then we have sex after that accident.
Ain't nothing gonna get that man some here and nothing will.
You?
Ain't flip over all, Valentine, do.
You want to have sex that night? I think we had sex that night. I'm sorry, baby, I'm trying to do bad. I just don't listen. I got more shit on my mind. That's why this episode of the day is gonna be great anyway. But but yeah, when he finally got to the car a couple of days later, the.
Fucking ruth in, yes, Lord, have mercy, and I'm like, get my ladder.
I had a ladder in the back of Like, did you get my ladder out that damn truck?
He should have been like, did you suck my dick? Okay, your ladder?
Get my fucking ladders is not cheating. Get my ladder, okay anywhere?
Yo?
Yeah, that do got into a car accident.
Well I'm glad he's okay, me too, cover him, amen, we're.
Like, man, that Jones was in there. Man, I'm good though, Like what are you well? Your back don't hurt nothing right? Stuff like that be like low wake up morning calls. But I don't know if he'd be taking heed for real.
Well, I'm just glad he okay, because that could have been much worse, you know.
Hell yeah, Like in my mind, like somebody ran him off the highway, bitch, and now I got to go get in the shootout looking for a car somewhere.
Yeah, in my mind, but you ready locked and loaded in mind like oh.
I'm not trying to kill him, and like he's running down the interstate to get off the highway to get to Chick fil at home depot. Like that ship is wild to me?
All right, listen, Yo, that was eventful. My story. I went to that concert and went to the Baby concept. Baby had the first birthday bash in Atlanta, I hear, I mean in Charlotte.
Oh the baby okay, yeah, not little By Nice And it.
Was a lot of artists, big Extra Plug two see fifty cents, Sexy Red, all the people and other names amongst other names that I'm too old to know who they are, and I don't know. It wasn't for me. You didn't enjoy it, Hm, it was okay. I think the thing for me was because it's a lot of great artists. But it's just like the intermissions between artists was just too long, so it was a lot of empty space. I'll say that, a lot of empty space.
Niggas probably was late, yeah, niggass late yeah.
Probably back in that back smoking and drinking. It's like, oh shit, I'm supposed to be one Like, I don't know what was going on, but I mean it was the first one. Maybe the second one will be better. I did that and then I went to a little mixer. I popped out with red hair. Niggas feeling the red hair.
I puk Your hair was fabulous, bitch, okay, thank you, thank you.
And I see somebody in the gym yesterday. They was like, I thought your hair was red. I was like, bitch, that is not gym hair. That is exactly I'm tied hair. You need to know the difference this pony ponytail I got on. This is my gym hair, and that's my going out here cat wag.
I got on.
But baby, that ponytail almost fell off in the gym. I'm gonna have to find something else to do with my hair. In that gym. I went to pull my hoodie over to like go leave, and I felt that motherfucker slide and I was like, oh my god, I ain't even put my jacket all the way on. I just walked out with it's sitting on top of my head because I was scared my ponytail was gonna hit the floor and embarrass me.
Shit, bitch, I went to spind yesterday for the first time in a year. When I tell you, I was sweating so bad my eyelashes came off in that.
Bitch, that's a good burn. I'm ready to go back. But that's just shits so expensive. And the class pass, Oh yeah, do you pay? So you pay for a monthly class pass? Did you? I did? I did the.
Trial right now, right, but I think I'm gonna go ahead and pay for it because I don't know if y'all know. But with class pass, you could go to gyms, yoga, studios, hair salons, naro salons. It just like depending on how many credits you got to use for each of the things, right, but can get a lot done for sixty dollars a month. That's like the smallest plan.
I think it goes on how many how many times you know, like how many classes.
That's what I'm saying. So like if you want to go to so I went to Old two Fitness, it only allowed me to go one time because it's a trial. But if you got the actual membership, like the class only, I mean the if you want to go to the gym, it's only one credit. So like if you gots how meredits you go, you don't get that many credits a week. It's twenty eight a month for the smallest plan.
Yeah, oh that's not bad. Yeah, well I'm gonna check on that because yeah, an actual membership t SPIND is high.
Yeah, so then you like last night I went to the works SIND class. So the one I chose because of the time of days, probably like a busy one. It was six point six credits though, but they had like two credits.
It's not one credit per yeah.
No, not the regular gym is like one credit, one to two credits. But like the classes is like we.
See that spin class. When I like really got into it, I was doing like four or five times a week, I would run out of my past. Yeah yeah, but let me tell you. I had a dream last night and I remember it and I want to share it, and you tell me what it means. And y'all DM me what it means. If you know, I had a dream that I could open my legs and pearls were falling out, like real pearls.
I mean, you did say your cuci looked like Oyster, didn't you?
No, b And first of all, all couchies look like oyster the sel form or fashion. But pearls like all right, so not like out of my pucci like but like literally out of the my legs, like the skin on my legs could open up and pearls would come out. Like it was like almost like a like a ZiT like a zip was like.
You busted in, a pearl came out.
Yeah, pearls would come out.
I mean, that doesn't sound like a bad thing to me. I don't know what that sounded like creation to me, you know what I'm saying, Like creating something something good, because who doesn't like pearls? Girls?
That's so weird though, right.
It is little oyster, no mermaid.
Like, and dozens of pearls was just shooting out of my leg.
What else like happened that? That was it.
That's the only part I remember. Was like it would be like almost open flesh on my legs and I was just like squeezing the pearls out. Wasn't puss, No, it was actual pearls. Bitch, it's pearls. They were. And I remember me, I can't remember who this was with me, but we were picking up the pearls. We were picking up the pearls, picking up the pearls, picking up the pearls, and it was just coming out of my leg. Hm, you know, I'm bizarre. I gotta stop. I did. I did eat a CBD edible before I went.
I don't know that. I mean, that doesn't sound like a bad dream to me, though.
It wasn't a bad dream. It just was weird, very vivid and weird, that part of it.
But yeah, so I look it up.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to y'all google in and tell me what it means. Let's get in the sins, Yeah, man, what's that?
What's going on? This week? Last week, couple of days ago? Ship we just ain't talk about yet. Uh we are we going to start with this weirdo DJ academics. You know, did y'all see the ship with DJ Academics. His response to what happened is just weird. So, first of all, DJ Academics, they're saying he's exposed for grooming a fifteen year old minor, because even the child said, hey, this is grooming. The child had to tell these grown men, hey, I feel like y'all grooming me.
Right.
So the first video, which surfaced on x formerly Twitter, shows an unnamed individual speaking to nor GXD, I don't know all these streamers, the fifteen year old streamer. During a conversation on discord. The individual made an unsettling remark asking, oh yeah, because like you, nobody had pictures up, but you know DJ academics voice all day long. The little boy had his video had his picture up like his
video running. Academics video wasn't running, but we know his voice, and I don't know who these other individuals on the discord was. Somebody says, yo, Nor what's your address? That's the little boy his name is nor GXD. He said, I'm going to send some strippers over there. When nor GXD responded that he was fifteen and uncomfortable with the suggestion, a person appeared to dismiss his concerns, saying so because he was like, man, you're gonna put them on the case.
The little boy saying you're trying to put me on the case. Right, He's like, slow down, like he's so intelligent, this little boy, Like wait, slow down, Like what the fuck is wrong with y'all? So the interaction raised alarms about the nature of the conversation and the apparent disregard for the miners discomfort. After the clip from the same day feature DJ Academics engaging with nor XGXD during a Fortnite live stream and the thirty second video, Academics made
a series of sexually explicit comments. At one point, he asked, yo, if Max said he wants to try fucking a dude, will you let him fuck you? This is not just a dude, this is a child dude. Awesome, right, and even this conversation wouldn't even be appropriate to be having with another heterosexual grown man, Like what are y'all talking.
About they're supposed to be playing video games, Like what is it? Why is this even a conversation over a video game? It just seems so very that video game world be like this though predatorial, yes.
It'd be like this. People be showing up at children's houses. You know. That's a one video where a grown man showed up at this lady house because the little girl was trying to link him with her mom, Like what.
And so he went off the childs He actually pulled up today to the house to me hit the mama. Yes, people are nuts, and that's why you just got to monitor what your kids are doing on these games, because they're talking to people like offering you know, gay sex to your fifteen year old son is crazy, you know.
And his response to it, he was like, first he was like yelling all crazy, like anybody calling me a weirdo, I don't need nobody, and da da da. The child himself called y'all weirdos first of all, prior to anybody else getting a hold of what you was doing and putting out their commentary about it, calling you a fucking weirdo. The kid in the moment called your ass a fucking weirdo because you were being weird?
Yeah, what was like?
I just I won DJ Academics off the internet at this point because he has had so many situations. And listen, you know a lot of people will say, like everybody deserves a voice. I don't feel that way. I think the internet podcast the world amplifies every You can amplify anybody's voice, and some people do not deserve to have a voice because they misuse it. And he's one of those people. He sits in his fucking house in the
basement looking stupid, going on these rants online. He's never been like in the news for anything.
Or anything good. That's what I was about to say. I don't hear a lot of good things. When I hear about him is always something like mean against women or now telling a child some grown man wants to fuck a man? Can he come to your house? That's just like next.
Strippers over there, Like what y'all talking about?
Yeah, it's it's real gross.
So and wait till this little boy's parents, you know, decide to want to sue academic because they can make up the show like, oh he's having like I mean, he might be because he's on the internet. Too. This is a video of him online having to defend himself against these predators and that could cause emotional distress. And I feel like the parents to take take academics for all the fuck he has.
Right, And I don't think he realizes how serious this is, Like, that's serious what you were saying to that child?
He said he misspoke basically and miss not so much of apology once he called down, it still was an apology. He wasn't taking no accountability and he was talking about the next person instead of focusing on what he had he did wrong.
He doesn't get it, child, And we're in like subconsciously, where is that come from? For you? Is there? Do you want to fuck kids? Like?
Well, he was already in the headlines about, you know, fucking on a fifteen year old girl.
So this is hard for you know what. I just pray over everybody, child, because it is some real life predators out here and they are amongst us, okay goodness.
And they need to be ostracized. So I don't I can't remember the other streamer who called him out. I think it was Max, the guy Max called him out. That's the video that kind of went viral. Who called DJ Academics out about it, and that's that's what needs to happen.
More.
Men need to step in when niggas is being weird, Those like y'all just be letting men do nasty.
That's a wrong man. That was always the excuse I would hear when I'd be like, why you don't why you hang with him? Why are you talking to him? That's grown as men? I can't.
And your friends are aspect of you, you know what I'm saying? Like you, you build relationships based on you first, right, so you see a little bit of you and this person why you were even able to become friends with them?
Right?
So is that an aspect of you? Is DJ Academics an aspect of you that you just haven't explored for real yet?
Right? Yeap?
Where to ask niggas anyway?
So what about this shit I keep saying about my favorite president, Barack Obama and Jennifer Aniston have an affair.
I don't know where that shit came from, but it seemed like it started like last year sometimes because she was on Jimmy Kimball and she basically, like, you know, try to she tried to ignore it, I guess, and then she finally said something about it last year sometime, but it's ongoing. And then now because Michelle Obama didn't show up at Jimmy Carter's funeral, nor did she up at the inauguration, they're saying that.
There's truth to it.
Yeah, there's a divorce, right, and people amongst the circles of people in the Capitol right say that this might be a thing.
I don't believe it, not my baroque.
Did you watch the movie that Michelle Obama and Barack's production company created, Leave the World Behind? Did you watch it?
Yeah?
I did remember the little girl in a movie like she was wanted to watch Friends. That's like all she wanted to do, and then she left her family and found a place to go watch it. Jennifer Aniston was on Friends.
So what are you suggesting?
I'm suggesting maybe Oba'm gonna put that in the movie because he had a fixation on her. I don't know. But why would she be why would Jenner? That is like the wire?
Friend? Why not girlfriends? Why not the Wire? I would have preferred, like I would have been with her if they had the wire in there.
I ain't never seen thating like it's the weirdest thing. And it's like Obama has been around here by himself looking single as fuck. Like, so there's rumors that they're getting a divorce him and Michelle.
Obama would break my heart.
I don't think there's ever been a presidential divorce before. The president's be cheating and ship like that. But it has a bit to actually have a left leave it to a black woman. We're gonna set precedents around his mother. I will get what president that you.
Was, period as.
I can't hear her saying that ship now. But the other narrative is that she just ain't no on no fake ship. She on fucking Trump. So I'm not showing up to the things. But we're talking about Jimmy Carter's funeral.
Too though, right, maybe she's just over all the political shiit she like, I just don't want to be bothered with none of that.
I tried to try to help Kamala. That shit ain't work. I'm out of there.
I'm out of there like I'm going on vacation. I'm doing the things I want to do.
So they said she just went on a lot of time in Martha's vineyards.
So that's what she's been out nice wines and eaten steaking shrip.
They're probably fucking on the butler. Okay, she might got a boyfriend over there.
No, she's faithful to Barack.
Wink wink. I don't know, but I listen, these are humans, right, These are just people. I didn't think Jennevaniston was a sidebitch type person, but who hey. And then the other part is the world is a stage. This is a fucking Truman show, like it's a movie. These people are all playing characters paid.
I don't know what people are doing behind closed doors, but I just pray to God that that's not true, because they just are like uh my idea of the perfect marriage. I mean not there's no such thing as perfect, right, but close to perfect as it gets.
I just think they have a good partnership, you know what I'm saying. Like they're both great orators, like they gonna move you with words. I'm saying, exceptionally smart people. And we know that men. I'm not gonna say men are smart. Men are smart, right, but smart men have smart, smarter people around them also. And I think Michelle Obama is exceptional, yeah, absolutely right, So because she can move a room just like him.
So that's why I don't want them to I don't want it to be any especially No, no, you know, I don't have nothing against Jennifer Aniston, but if it was, if Baraque was moving around, I would not want it to be with a white lady. I didn't say that.
I did because I'm always say the things people don't want to say a fucking white lady. Okay, because let me tell y'all, I had this argument a lot with one of my friends. I'm like, if Michelle Obama was a white woman, Obama would not be the first black president. He'd probably be the first Melatto, the first biracial. His wife is what constitute his wife and children know that black family that we see. If it was a white woman, it would be different. If it wouldn't biracial children, people
wouldn't see him as the first black president. I just don't think. So he'd be the first because his mother is a Jewish woman, right, so she would be the first melatto old president, the first mixed president. So she gate like Michelle Obama is what sold us on Barack. Yeah, okay, so yes, it would be very disheartening, nigga because what.
How you cheat on hell?
But it's on cold for these niggas. Okay, So.
On Instagram, there's a video circulating. Rapper Big Dank of Dev's House recently posted a video documenting her struggles in trying to obtain a lift. And this young lady was very upset because the lift driver arrived and he saw her stature in size and said that she could not fit in his car basically, and that he was not giving her the lift. And she recorded it and she was very upset about it. And I'm kind of on the driver side because he don't oh, he don't have
he has the right to refuse any service. And I mean, she do look pretty thick, but I feel like she probably could could have fit in his car, you know, But I do think about rescue. She's like, who moved my seat?
You know? But rec she's actually smaller than old girl. That girl, Yeah, she's a big She doesn't look that tall, so she looks like she's probably like five four five three or something like that. And she has a lot of weight on her. They say four hundred pounds. I feel like she's probably like six hundred pounds.
If y'all no, not that but not that big. But she was a big, big girl her face. Car Now he's down till you talking about y'all big bitches. Y'all big bitches be having a pretty he is faith God damn. Like they be beautiful in the face.
I said, as a fouies be pissed because I know this nigga like big pretty bitches, and I obvious seeing a big pretty bitch, like I know my nigga fucking her. I hate that bitch. I don't even know this person, he don't know her, but I'm just like hating on this bitch in my mind, like.
Because I know my mother.
Will you if yeah, when niggat they make up that bitch, it'd be.
Like gorgeous eats every time.
So she's a big pretty girl, young girl though she doesn't look like she's she can't be thirty.
But she cannot be. And then she you know, she was like I celebrate bbw's and I ride for bbw's and y'all who are talking about me aren't bbw's because we're beautiful and nice women, right, And I get that and I respect that, but I think it's important to encourage good health, you know, and like.
Because nobody wants to be that big.
No, you want to live a long time. You want to be her a long time. You want to be able to maneuver and do all the things. Yeah, and you can't be happy that size, baby girl, you know, like doing things to better your health. I mean, that's like someone telling you that they don't want you to ride in their car because of your size. Should be like a wake up call, especially unless it's like something with health that you cannot change your weight. But I don't.
There might be diseases like that, but I don't personally know what anything.
Well, they developed because of the weight, you know what I'm saying, so they might be even harder and bigger. You get. The part that killed me is when she was like, my friend got a car, got a Mercedes just like this, a newer one, and I ride in her car just fine, Like your friend loves you. So of course your friend is gonna tell you. Gonna tell you, girl, you ain't riding in my car because you're big. But I'm pretty sure she'd be driving like this, motherfucker bout the bus My.
Tire Well, I don't know if the tires of a bus.
From a girl, Yes, you cannot like how much like we gotta look at Okay, maybe I want to know what type of car this was. I'm gonna do some research what type of car it was? What is the load carried? Like the carry load, like what is the spec on that? Because he might and if you have smaller low profile tires, like if you fuck on to hit a bump, that shit is going to mess up as undercarriage for real.
But another thing is with her being she has youth on her side. You can lose some of that weight. Girlfriend, you can don't miss.
The ozimpic wave. Okay, Yeah, like this oziempic is for people like that.
Right, and it is you know, the skinnier ones who are just abusing it for vani but which is okay too. But girl, you can get down and you can get to a healthy weight and not just for pretty purpose but or the male gaze, just for health, you know, So that I always encourage that, even if you're happy fat, because remember how money used to be. Like skinny bitches are the devil and they evil. And now look at
her because she is trying to get skinny her whole life. Yeah, you understand that health is well, you know, so that's my stakes on it.
Yeah, girl do better, gotta do better.
Man.
She just maybe she needs a better support system around her. But I do think like it don't take much. Listen we arguing, bitch, you call me fat, like you win. So if the the the uber or left drip would have done that to me, bitch immediately tomorrow. I just like, that's just how my psyche said.
You always said that, And I was like, if we ever get in the real argument, I'm gonna call her fat.
But here's the I'm gonna call you fat too.
I'm gonna say it's like that was.
Because I would never call somebody fat. I would never because I know how that makes me feel like. I would never That would never be the thing for me to win the argument.
But the crazy part is just because you know how to make you feel like some of the things that you might say might hurt worse than that. You know what you try to I don't know, I can't think.
Of anyway, y'all. Well we'll talk about today.
Oh go ahead, mine, is you old like from a young bitch, you old ass whole or something like that.
Yeah, but we be lit and we be looking good at these old ass ages like bitch, you wish.
I had a girl in my DMS, like talking calling me an old bitch about her nigga and I didn't even know who her nigga? What what is your baby? I got all of them because I get back of them all, baby girl? Which what are you talking about? Sweetheart? You know this?
Okay, this is another thing holding. This is off of uh uh sentence. But y'all have been seeing these uh these lists that's going that's going around, like what's the onnky and uncle? I mean, what's a auntie? And what's Hawaiian? Like the age groups? Yeah, so this list I don't agree with it. It says age requirements for each group Low Sist eighteen to twenty two, Big Sis twenty three to twenty seven, Auntie twenty eight to thirty nine, Cougar forty to fifty who the fuck? And then old school
slash grams is fifty one plus. Like the problem is that y'all bitches be having kids to damn early right.
Okay, here's a child made that list, a child who has not lived because Auntie started thirty y'all twenty eight.
Now, yes, I was somebody's auntie at that age. But ain't you bitches auntie? I am not an auntie at forty like.
Gail and Oprah was like, don't call me auntie. I'm not your fucking family member.
And it's some nuanced right, some nuance, Like God, look at I feel like, if you have children in you your twenties, you actually forty? What having children age you rather bitches like it or not? Like I got a couple of my friends got rheumatward arthritis and they had it since they was thirty, like they might be cooger age. But I'm forty. I'm very youth, Okay, I'd be having energy to do a lot of things except suck dick.
And I mean like, sorry, Bro, sorry Bro, I like I gotta be going through menopause, Like how dare y'all?
I don't.
I don't agree with this. I don't agree with this, not one bit. And then also for the for the Wayians, the Wayians is eighteen to twenty three. I just love that term.
Whyan and the young nigga right.
Yeah, young Niggas is eighteen to twenty three. Low Bro is twenty four to twenty eight, Big Bros twenty nine to thirty eight. Unk is thirty nine to forty nine.
So why unks start later than an untie?
Exactly exactly you see kind of you see like cougar forty to fifty, but unk is thirty nine to forty nine.
Because y'all get to stay younger than us. Apparently this is just like that Pink Tac shit.
Hating on us. Man, they be hating on us. So, no, I don't agree with that shit because I am not an auntie and I'm not a cougar either. No, I'll be an auntie, but I'm definitely not a cougar because I want money from men like cougars be taking care of niggas.
No, you saw that video or that girl, y'all. I don't know if y'all saw that, but it was she looking at her thirty. She had on an auntie wig though I ain't gonna hold you. I don't have a little Auntie hairpiece, and she had her Chase Bank envelope, and it looked like they would sit at a restaurant and the little Wyian sit his message It was supposed to be to his homeboy, but he accidentally sitting in her. He's like, I got anitia Baker, the blow a bag
on me, cash out on me. She's holding that chase, not Anita Baker, not the Rapture. Oh my god, I would have died if I if he sent me that message. But I know that. I like, if I don't get married and I don't find my partner, I'm gonna be one of them bitches. Ad fifty five, I ain't gonna hold you. I'm gonna be taking care of my Wyian as well.
Shit, I'm gonna tell you here that's the older men do ship. They buy the happiness, they buy what they want.
I'm gonna show this.
Look.
They're gonna be like forgot Patty Labella here about it, because you know Patty a fly ass granny. She looks good all the time. That's gonna be like Patty she does like her and Gladys name, like eat one of these Tanny pies with the pearls, with the pearls. Baby, so on our right up for sins. We got a d I but we I know and everybody I know y'all want to hear about it, but we're not gonna
discuss it this week. I feel like we're gonna say that for like a full episode and let a little bit more shit happen before we deep dive into it and talk about what it is and how we feel about it and what you can do to not care or care more.
Thank you, Thank you for adding that part, because I definitely was about to say, like, stop stop caring about stuff that really don't affect you for real. Yeah, so we'll get into it.
So okay. I came up with this topic this week, y'all. And I don't know if y'all watch Harlem Harlem's Back on It's on Prime. It's a show with Meghan Good in a beautiful cast of others. I don't know all of their names, but they're dope. It kind of reminds me of Sex and the City I Ain't gonna hold you. It's four friends, Black friends, and Harlem and their relationships with men in with each other and the character Quinn.
She says, we need to decenter the deck and like her character has been like very hopeless romantic, always very fully consumed with finding a partner. You know, she was gold driven, but men were very at the center of her existence a lot. And I thought that resonated with me so much because I think I'm already in a space of desentering Dick, you know, desentering men essentially, not just Dick, but men from my life. Ever since I broke my foot, I ain't been thinking about no Dick, ain't.
Nobody's trying to fuck with a broken foot. And since then I just been kind of like desentering men. And the character Camille has fully centered men in a way her the character Ian which I can understand, Y'all's that Nigga ty Lepley, Miracle, Watt's husband baby daddy relationship.
Is fine, fine, fine as hell. The her boyfriend on there, yes, oh damn yeah.
Yeah, So I can understand it. But she has completely focused her energy on She has all these seen great things going on. She just got you know, she left Columbia and she's writing a book, but instead she's focused on her ex. So I wanted to get into how the decenter men from your life, even if it's momentarily. You know, even in a relationship, your man does not have to be the center of your life. I mean, he can be important part, but you should be centraized
at some point. And sometimes I want to get into how we can do that and things to do to the center right now, so we'll be right back. We're going to talk about.
It, all right, So y'all we're back. And I don't know, maybe should pose a question like how many times have you put your own dreams, needs, desires like on hold centering men? I think we kind of all do it younger in age, and it kind of the older you get, the more you date, and it could even be after a marriage and after having children, that's usually when women then start centering themselves, I think, but maybe it needs
to be done earlier and sooner in life. And I think even starting in high school, starting with dating as young girls. Right, she's taught to dissenter men.
Right, because I think oftentimes you know women who like they're married, they have kids, and especially with children, we got it also, I mean I guess that when we had Patrica on, it was desentering children, you know, No, it.
Was decentering all of them. It's putting yourself, yes, because she has a husband also, Yeah, I thought about that that episode. Yeah, Like definitely she would be like the epitome of Yeah. So I don't think it's just decentering men though, it's even just decentering like romantic relationships, yeah, because you can get the dick, right, you can still have sex, but not making men the focal point.
Right, not making them such a priority.
Right that you just you know, disregarding your own needs and wants and design.
And it's so easy to fall into that space, especially I feel like for me as a cancer woman, like I just turn into like this ball a goo when i'm when somebody, yeah, man, I turn into a mush, and that mush forms into something that exists in this space with this person, Like all I I focus a lot on their primary needs over my own. I focus a lot on their own their happiness over my own. And then I look up and I have resentment exactly. Yeah, I then I find myself resenting motherfucker because well I
always give you the big piece of meat, motherfucker. You know.
Like, I think that's the first thing you gotta do is actually act yourself, like when you're in the midst of doing something, Hey, is this for me or is this for somebody else? Right, I think that's the first way to recognize whether or not you're you know, centering somebody else some situation over yourself. Because I feel like our lives this like we all got our own personal little solar systems. So ask yourself, does do the planets revolve around the sun? Or do this? Does the sun
revolve around the planets? The sun in my fucking world? So everybody else got to get in where they fit in. And I wasn't always this way. And I can also recognize, like how in relationships I wasn't I was putting other people like the partner before me, You know what I'm saying because in your mind, like I think in most women's mind, like we're taught.
That's how I feel like I was raised, especially.
If you were raising the church, and I wasn't even raised in the church. But y'all would think it's crazy how male boys are called sons, Like why do they use that word for a man the sun? They are not the center but this patriarchy, right, because they could have came up with another word. But this world, right is ran by patriarchy. Why they are calling men son m
the son of God? Right? So I think people women who grew up in the church, they probably have an even harder time desentering men because they don't know how deep this programming gos, especially in the Bible, like they they the way in the Bible, Like they just make women like the worst thing in the Bible. Like there's no real good stories about women in the Bible when you think about.
It, you know, I can't speak to that because I have not read it in its entirety. I mean I think of Ruth, I mean, she had a good story, right, what was the story? Well, she was a woman after God's heart, she was a good woman, a gard fearing woman. And oh yeah, and then she got bo ass she got the best man ever. So I guess it really wasn't even by her being a good woman to find it to be a good wife. And how was he
to as he was the best man ever? Mmm, like that's the type of man we should have all strife for a boas. But we'll be getting poe ass, no good ass, Like yeah, we just getting all the masses.
But I feel like, yeah, like people who were raised like in a church, they probably have a little bit more a tough time because I mean they just tell you to find a husband, right, But it does say he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Right. We should not be centering men, like the Bible says
men can't be alone. It don't say women can't be alone, because I think that a lot of the women, like I said, who have been married and then they had children or they just always they found solace in themselves, right and being okay with that, they don't center men anymore. Right, But you got to go through all these things first. So what if, right you were in your eighteen and you're dating and no one's telling you, oh, you gotta find a husband, like that's like the goal in life
to find these relationships. You don't have to do that right now, be about yourself first.
And you know, I have this list for medium dot com and that is actually the number one thing on there. It says, decide your teen and twenties belong to you and you alone. And I guess it's a lot of our listeners are older than that, so it's too late for that, baby, if you are ready thing.
So I think we do actually got a lot of a young listener.
We do have young listeners, but we also have a lot of older ones. So that number one ain't for you, baby. Number one is for our young girls, like decide that these years are for you and it ain't about that.
That's why i'd be like, it's for about firing niggas when they don't act right. That is what your twenties is for. It is not for constant compromise. Get the fuck up out of there when shit start looking stupid. Because I think both of us probably probably stayed in situations in our twenties that you know, stayed too long, you wasted I don't. I feel like I want to stop saying we waste time because I think women count time different than men, so we always feel like we
wasteed some time somewhere. But you you learned, we learned from that person, from that relationship.
I feel, bitch, I beg it different because I don't waste it some mother fucking time, all right, So I said, don't actively look for a man just yet. And this is for my young sisters. Do you know who you are? Most women don't even know who they are or what
they want because they're still growing, you know. And it says the prefrontal cortex of the brain develops between eighteen and thirty that's the brain area of the brain responsible for planning complex cognitive behavior, decision making, and moderating social behavior. So let your prefrontal cortex fully developed before you you center anyone outside of yourself unless you have two in your mom you know, then you gotta move a little differently. Yeah,
but you don't have to. That's what I'm saying. You don't have to if you don't have to, so focus on you. So number two says, follow your dreams and celebrate your wins. I don't think we celebrate ourselves enough. M That was for you, aj.
I feel like I celebrate myself, but I just don't need somebody else doing it with me. I don't feel like I don't celebrate me, but people do it in different ways, you know, but maybe include others.
Sorry, I had something in my throat, include others, bitch celebrating you.
I guess I'm not like a big you know, some people need that group stuff. I don't really like. Like, right now, I'm planning a baby shower be my homegirl, but me and her are so much alike in this way. She's like, girl, I don't know why the fuck I'm doing this. Like I always said, I don't need a baby shower all that. Now it becomes like this whole big thing, right, But I mean it's it's gonna be nice. Yeah, you don't like it at the end, right, you're not You did.
Everything, but it's okay for other people to celebrate your wins sometimes, you know, sometimes in life I can understand if you're introverted and you don't like the attention. Yeah, the attention in the fuzz. But sometimes I don't know this bitch a thousand years a birthday party or so god damn.
You know you got one birthday the day you was born.
We'll celebrating another year, one time with people, all right, So this one stick it to the mailgates. Now, this one is interesting, and this is one that I really wanted to talk about. It says, learn how to be comfortable with being ugly, and that's in quotes, and it says pretty. Privilege is a social concept that stipulates that more attractive people have more friends, money, and success than they're less attractive on the park excuse me, And it
says this is even more true for women. Since the beginning of time, we're taught to cater to the malgaze and crave mal validation. I can hear some people going, no, not I. Even if you have achieved a super self aware, conscious state where you defy social pressure you did, at some point want to cater to the mailgaze. We are all socialized to do so from a young age. The toxic results of catering to the mail gaze are evident in many ways. Then say drive for the perfect body.
That's obsession with social media, cloud and the billion dollar makeup industry, and it says body dysmorphia and mortality rates of BBL procedures on the rise. One in three thousand women die from the Brazilian Buffalot butt lift surgery, making it the deadliest cosmetic procedure. I think we're on a decline of bbls now though.
Because women are decentering men.
Yeah.
And then but the thing with the BBL shit is that men never said they like that. So the women, you know, will claim that they were doing it for themselves. But I really believe because y'all, as soon as y'all get that ass, you put it on the internet, and you can't take no front pictures no more. Everything is from the back. So really, who are you trying to
attract when you do it in that way? Like I get dressed and look good for me, I'm gonna tell you, I look like a ninja five days a week, and if I decide to get cute on the weekends or something like that, it is for me. It's not really for anybody else, Like I want to feel good and look good for me.
So it says go it gets the status quote do things that make you ugly not know and is in a quote, and it says, according to the male gaze, wear short, natural hair, don't wear makeup or any other beauty enhancements. Don't dress to turn hiss, just dress simple. This form of defiance against societal expectations is huge, and it says you don't have to do it indefinitely. Do it for a week or a month, however long it
takes for you to feel completely confident doing it. Take back the power and stick your fingers on the eyes of the ominous malgaze. And while you're doing this, it would be helpful to stay on social media, as it is a big perpetrator of the malgaze.
I just I just don't agree with that. I just don't agree with that.
Because well, I you know, I did. It's weird.
I get it, But then it's like you're intentionally trying not to look attractive to me. That type of thing comes out of trauma. That's a trauma response, you know what I'm saying. Just think about like people who have said like they were molested and abused so they would make them this is why they started eating more right, so they can become less attractive to people. So to me, that's like a trauma response to a bigger problem, you know what I'm saying, Like, I don't want to make
I don't want to ever. I feel like in relationships people have done that to me because I've always had the big personality and I've always been me, And I feel like I've gotten into relationships with people with men who feel like they needed to dim my light. They needed to dim my son right because I saw it
shine so bright. So they are attracted to the sun and when they get the sun, now you're trying to make it to where like you're the only person that can see it, so you want to put some fucking shade on me and try to make me feel in different about myself because I feel good about myself. You gotta be careful with that type of.
Sho But but here's the thing, I don't think it's saying like do it for other people. I think that
this is encouraging you to do it for yourself. Like, if you're spending so much time trying to be attractive for others, just be like, don't focus on everyone else and how you look to everyone else and how your appearance makes everyone else feel, you know, decenter that shit, you know, just to go out ugly not ugly, not because they call it, but it's in quotations, so it's like saying, like, what's ugly to you?
Then?
Yeah, like without all the enhancements, without all the makeup, without all the weaves and wigs and tight fitting clothes and your ass cheeks hanging out the back of them skirts, you know, like because I mean that's definitely for the male gaze, you know, things like that. So stuff like that. I'm gonna tell y'all how I have been. I don't know if I can count this, but I'm going to for the sake of the conversation. I have not shaved my legs or my vagina since I broke my foot.
I think you're only doing that so you don't have sex, bitch. That's what I'm saying. We're not really dissentering, dick. We just were sent dissentering, like, no.
It's not. If I wanted to fuck with this, I would. It's not that. It's that I just and just being all oh natural, like it is what it is right now, and I just don't care to as long as it's I'm clean. I'm clean. It's just not it's unkept.
Well, the winter is the best time to do that, right, Yeah, you get that extra sweaty stench in summer, so it is okay to do that shit winter, I think. But I think in the way in the summertime, like we ain't just shaving it for sex.
Yeah, it just holds onto the scent.
But yeah, like we're just trying to stay groomed.
But my legs have never been hairer in my entire life, I think. And I'm just okay with it. I'm just so fine. I'll be in the bed, rob I could start a firing this bed with how much hair on my legs right there, and I just do not care. I do not care nobody's seeing it, and I'm okay with it. You know.
Yeah, I shave less in the winter, but it's nearly not. I mean, it's just because I just do.
Yeah, but since I broke my foot in September. It is January. You know, that's long. That's a long time. You know what I do not give food is what it is now. My armpits. I can't not for whatever reason. I just have. I can't just let that grow, but.
Because somebody might fuck her and see it. Like you're in the gym with a T top on you.
I don't be in the gym with tank tops when I like, when I there is, that is a place where I definitely try to decenter the malegates. I when I go in the gym, I have on big T shirts, long, I have on big hoodies. I definitely just try to cover myself and be very invisible in that space. Please don't bother me, Please don't look at me, and don't say shit to me. Right so I don't take my I don't have like, you know, the girls coming in there.
I saw a girl in the gym yesterday with dangly earrings, a necklace and glasses with like you know, living the workout and she's just prancing on the.
Looking for a man.
And I ain't even mad. Girl. If that's your goal for twenty twenty five is to catch catch, but girl, you it's not working out with them danglar ereians.
Fully clothed like outfits like I do like matching because I feel like I feel more motivated to work out when I look good. So I don't ever wear like the big T shirts and stuff like that, or like if I do do a sweatshirt, it's just so I can sweat more. Like It's really like I probably got like one of them sweat bag shits on underneath that
shit too. But I like to feel good. I like, I like to look good, and it's not really about who is looking at me, Like I'm looking in the mirror in there trying to see how good I look to me.
Yeah, I understand that, and I understand that perspective, but I'm just more concerned about what's going on under these clothes while I'm in the gym, like because I know I'm sweating. Yesterday I got on that I was on the Stare climber for forty five minutes and that's the longest I've been on since I broke my foot, and I was so proud of that, and nothing about it was cute, nothing like I had on. I don't even think nothing I had on matched. It was just my
period on. So I had big draws, like it was a lot going on, and it was not cute, but I was so excited for what I had just done, you know, for the first time, because I could not do that when I when I first went back to the gym, I barely could stay on there fifteen minutes without my foot starting to hurt, without being winded. And now I'm back up to forty five. Bitch, you couldn't tell me nothing. Now let me tell you this what helped me get to forty five minutes. Have y'all waxed
or riches started on Netflix? Have y'all been watching Girl? That is entertainment?
I ain't seen it, of course, I've seen it preview.
For it, but well it's good. I mean it's like trash TV. Obviously it's reality trash TV, but it was good. So I was watching that and it helped me. I lost track of time and I looked I was at forty minutes. I was like, oh, let me do five more. But so that was decentering the mel Gays. The next one says, layoff romantic music, books and movies, but those things.
Are all feel good things. But do they make you feel like you want to be in love, that maybe it is doing something to you subconsciously.
Yeah, I do. Every time I listen to romantic music, I might go look at somebody.
Instagram page, So instead go listen to Kaya. You can't trust no nigga, no no.
That's the completely opposite that might write you talking all right, so it says. One of the biggest reasons women center their lives around men is the influence of media. Cultivation theory, proposed by George Gerbner in nineteen sixty nine, is the idea that the long term consumption of media affects people's ideas, which is true. Mass methods of media dissemination are used by communities to spread ideas, movies, and form most people's
view of romance. Romantic comedies are the primary offenders when it comes to most people's unrealistic ideals and expectations of relationships. Disney is another primary offender, socializing us with unrealistic and downright toxic views of relationships from childhood. If you're on the TIC, if you're on TikTok, you've probably heard Salem a lazy song mad at Disney, and if you haven't, go listen to it. The song speaks of the whimsical way women are taught to view relationships. A prince will
come and whiskey away on his horse. The only thing is in reality, it's far from fantasy. Men in the books and movies are nothing like men in real life. Men in the media are portrayed as saviors. Perhaps this is why many women are so comfortable sendering their lives around me in and host that one day they will be living out their fairy tale dreams.
Yeah, they sold us, They sold us some bullshit. I think that. Uh you know that post breakup glow up?
Mm hmm.
If you're wondering, like how to decenter men, just if you ever had that post break up glow up, that glow up only happened. It happened because you decentered men. Was like, fuck these niggas. I'm gonna get on my ship. I'm gonna get the killer body, I'm gonna get more money, I'm gonna get a better position at work. Like you wanted to prove something, but it's still kind of centered a little bit, right, You wanted to prove something.
To use them as your motivation, exactly better to yourself.
Right, but it's also I think another dangerous part is using decentered men to get a better man. That's dangerous too, Yeah, because you still center in a relationship, because it's still.
Not a nigga. You know, I'm gonna one up that motherfucker. When I pull back up, I'm gonna have a better nigga. It's still about a nigga, not about you.
So yeah, decentering men is really about you, and I think you can we probably can learn more and more and more about that from older women because they already did all the things, but we want to try to get there before all the bullshit.
Yeah, but oftentimes I find that the older women who have decentered men is out of.
It's trauma.
Yeah, it's out of they're being tainted in there. What's the word that people use for women who they're scorned. Yeah, I don't I don't want That's.
What I'm saying. Like, the goal is to decenter men before ye get to that resentment.
Stage I don't want. Yeah, I don't want us. And that means me, you, AJ and all of y'all listening to get to a place of resentment for men before you dissenter them. Because you don't want to my mom be saying. I hope she won't be mad at me for saying it. She's like, girl, a man comes second to a good book and a glass of warm milk at this point in my life, So she rather read and have a glass of warm milk before being bothered with a man. And I don't ever want to feel
like that. I love these niggas. I want to always love them. I don't want to like I love books. I'm already halfway there, you know, Because I love them. I always want to love them. And I always want to value men in my life and I still want one, but I just don't want I want to make sure that I desenter them in a way that's healthy for me, and when I get in a relationship, be able to continue to do that, you know, to have that balance.
That's where I am now. Yeah, So and this is I think this is I may not call it desentering, but you know how i'd be like, I want to feel single in a relationship. I never want to lose my identity. I want to be with somebody who really assess me for who I am, and even my current partner, because y'all notice is an old partner. It's a new relationship with old partner.
Right.
He had to get here because I've always been me right, and even now he can admit to some of the things like he did in the past, like hating on me. You know what I'm saying, Like niggas really be in competition with you in a relationship when they don't have the emotional intelligence yet to be and even in a relationship with a real fucking woman. You know what I'm saying, Because I've been grown for.
A long time, but you're still growing. You're not the same person. You've grown too.
No, that's what I be trying to tell him, Like I'm not the same person, you know, because I feel like I'm not really centering. But in a relationship, I compromised a lot, and you know you had that resentment because you did all this compromising. Like I feel like the times I've moved, it was either moving from a nigga to get away from a I'm moving to one. Yeah, right, So now I'm trying to make sure that the decisions
that I make in life are solely for me. Now, if you benefit from him from these good decisions, kudos to you. But I'm not considering anybody else anymore, and he has to be okay with that.
Yeah, now, I'm okay with considering others in my decisions, but I just don't want to consider them more than myself anymore, you know, Like, I don't want to make my choice based on the betterment of this other person, and because I love him so much, and that has been the status quo since the beginning of time for me, and I thought that was the way of a good woman, you know, that is the way of a good woman. This is how I prove that I'm a little I'm
a down ass bitch y'all. And all it left me was down, you know.
So an example of somebody who centers men too much are the ones who the women who say I got no female friends. I just got to like, ma'am, you don't get an award for that. You're actually a weirdo. And I don't want to be your friend anyway, because you probably think everybody be hating on you or really not even a good person like I'm because men are not good people sometimes a lot of times.
Anytime a woman always if I see like a woman always posting about people jealous of them girl.
Good, nobody could like this is a general like, Okay, you're whack.
Actually it's okay, Like sometimes people are jealous and it's true. But if you are always speaking on people being jealous of you, there's something for you to unpack there, because everybody ain't fucking jealous of you, and that's a mental that's some mental shit going on, and maybe that comes that might respond from childhood because some mamas be teaching girls they're jealous of you. They just jealous of you.
They just jealous of you. And now you grow up believing that every bitch out here is you and they not.
We talked about that last week with that episode on Love and Hip Hop Miami.
But uh.
Yeah, an old girl like girl, everybody is not hating on you, I promise. If you got a sucky ass attitude and a lot of people be saying, bitch, you got a nasty ass attitude, and it's like a general consensus that it's probably true.
Yeah, you gotta do some self awareness and understand that maybe you're not as great as you think you are.
Yes, everybody else cannot always be the problem.
Right, because if everybody say you were smoking crack for twenty years, Whitney Houston, you're smoking crack. You know what I'm saying, You were smoking Whinney Houston. I love her, but.
Don't talk about WINNYE. Houston on this show.
Okay, I'm sorry because I love Whitney Houston. She's the voice of all time. But if everybody say they.
Start smoking crack, like how people feel about Beyonce, is how I feel about Whitney Houston, like.
To your age. I know my sister would be cuss me out if she heard that. Right now. I apologize to all the Whitni lovers because I love her too, But that was just an example of everybody ain't gonna say the same shit about you for twenty years and they no truth to it. You know, we don't have anything else to offer this list. Let's see. There was one more, and I think we kind of touched on this one that it says, realize that men are just human. Yeah, and like you know, removing from this pedestal.
And we're God's right, We the son, not da ain't the son. They could be the s o N, but we are the s u N Like we literally give life right. So at what point do you feel like You're not important. And I'm not telling people to have a God complex. But look what happens when we start decentering men. You have these red pel niggas you got in cells that come out of what works this I think I sent you this guy Instagram page is called fit Fit Flex or something like that. Black guy, Nice
Bill African Nigerian Nigga. But he was he'd be interviewing like men they want to know how they can beef up their parents to get women. And so he is experiencing with a lot of women experience with these men, just having these conversations and seeing how childish these men are. Some of them are borderline serial killers as far as I'm concerned. Right when we desenter men, they get so antsy they don't know how to take it. They mad at us when we were like, okay, I don't even man,
I'm happy being alone. If y'all say, I'm a die by myself, okay, So what They're still mad at women who choose to be alone because they still feel like like they feel so entitled to women, like I should still have access to you.
But you know what is because they were raised similar, they were raised like us. They will listening to the fairy tales. They think they're the knight in shining armor.
But the moms also treat them like that too.
Yeah, yeah, because their mom say, fucking fairy tale. So now her son got to be, you know, the night shine or that's what they would want him to be, and then her eyes he is. But to the rest of us, your son ship, mama, So.
Stop texting that man first. Stop texting these niggas first. I'm not telling you.
To like I ain't interest. Sometimes you got to go after you.
Know, if you are always doing that, try your best like this.
Doesn't you mean like just always be the first one to reach out?
Okay?
No, yes, I mean like maybe if y'all meet, you can be the first one to say something. If you really gotta be reciprocal, definitely don't be don't always be available, Yeah, acting like you're just sitting by the phone waiting on.
On the first ring and ship like that. Stop texting men and calling men and asking them to take you on a date. Don't do that, ship, because don't be surprised when he expects your ass to pay. Also, right, you know, these are the things that women probably can start doing it's off top of my damn brain. Just stop doing these things to try to start decentering men a little bit in your life and desentering that want for relationships. Because when you're not expecting things, that's when
it happens. That's that's the moment it happens for you when you stop expecting it, when you stop fixating on it, even journaling. Right, So write down all the things you want, write down the exact man you want. Ball that shit up and throw it in the trash, forget about it, burn it and watch it happen. Right, set it and forget it. Is that's how you really decenter men, and
then just focus on you. Focus on being the best you possible, focus on looking the best for you, focus on your mental health, Go get a therapist, whatever you gotta do, you know, to get back to you.
Spiritual spirituality, whatever that looks like. This church for you can start going to church starting or whatever whatever it is for you. Gotta be no, that's not you know, you got to speak to what works for you. You can't, you know, make sure this is what because I mean churchin for everybody, but church are for some, so you know, for those who it is for you know, you know, is very.
The church in which the way they have it today is very patriarchal. Right, so we're talking about decentering men. I think everything in small doses. I'll say that, then just do it.
I mean, yeah, just I mean when I say that, I mean, like, you know, try to you know, include God more or whoever you worship, whoever you worship, or if you don't worship, find something, find some some spiritual guide, you know, and use that in your life, you know, versus being outside smoking, drinking, hookah, smoking hookah, fucking and all the things that ain't healthy, you know. So that's you know, I want to get more into my scripture and read more. And then I also want to like
research other religions. You know. I was looking at uh mantu peach you how you say, And I was looking at how all these walls and all these hieroglyphics had this guy who was holding two animals, an animal in each hand, and it was all over the world they depicted this same uh deity, I guess, And I want to research who that is because how all of y'all, like y'all didn't have facetimed y'all didn't have you know, the everywhere. Yeah, but the same figure appears all over the world.
That's what I'm saying. He probably was appearing physically, right like right now, we're believing. So there's that's why there's a difference between the knowing, which is what you're trying to do get to the bottom and doing the research, right, and then there's there's belief. That's why I'd be like, really have a belief system is either I know or I don't know, right, because believing.
Is just faith.
Yeah, that's all it is. Right, You didn't actually see the thing, so that that image being painted around the world, They probably physically saw this thing so different parts of the world. So that so we're waiting on this image to come back right that nobody has really ever seen in a very long time, to create a new image of it. People have literally created an image, because that's just how humans compute things like the imagery. You got
to have got to see it to bring right. Well, no, because we don't be seeing it and be believing.
It right, Well, faith, you know, it's faith because we believe somebody saw it, you know. So but then that's where that's where I want to invest some time into like just deep diving into religions and cultures and things like that and getting more understanding because how up did they build that ship? I want to know how they build that? How did they build that where they're giants moving around like things like that. That's what I'm interested in. So my leg's gonna be Harriet, I'm gonna be well.
Sign up for Guya TV. G A, I A. That's a good place to start. Guya TV has a lot of documentaries. You know, Bill Carson, Billy Carson, h like you know, he talks about this is this is what the esoteric knowledge is is learning the things that not a lot of people know. Basically because people a lot of people it's just one way. It's real skewed. It's just religion is Christianity and that's it. But there are a lot of things that are way older than Christianity.
So that's why I just I feel like it's just all about the Bible is a book about you. Basic instructions before leaving Earth is what the word Bible breaks down to. That's what some people say. So it's just a book about you.
I think it's just a bunch of allegory and fable prior crabs to help us be better human beings. You know, as long as you are, you know, actively trying to be good at all times and like be good to others and good to yourself. I don't think it matter which exactly the thing you you subscribe to.
You know, I just be liking to know all the things, so I'm never just fixed on the one thing.
Yeah, well that's and that's the space. I want to learn so much more about just the world that I don't know and the things that I don't understand and things that because I want to now, I like, I want a nigga to take me look a nigga. I want a nigga to take me to match a peach you de center taking me the center D Center. I'm working on it, y'all, on my work in progress. But do you have a last last?
I think we pretty much gave it right for the most part. Uh, focus on yourself, do some meditation, figure out you know, like I said, if anything is, when something's not good for you, you don't have energy for it. When it's good, you got a lot of energy. So if you're in any situations in a relationship and you just don't have energy and it's just like sucking me a life force. It's probably time for you to de center that thing. Mm hmm, I mean right and focus next.
I know it's some of y'all who listen to me right now, hungover right now because you drink too much. You know who I'm talking to. You heard me. I'm talking to you, girl, you drink too much? Cut back. I know it's a beach like girl.
Hang up on that shit, not even a liquor weed, you know what I'm saying, Because I feel like when you hide, like you really don't get the things done that you want to get done, Like you're literally sitting smoking and thinking about the things that you never execute because that shit makes you fucking lazy. Sometimes some people can be active on weed. I'm not one of them people. So that's just not going to ever be one of my damn vices, which I be struggling to get up
and go regular, you know what I'm saying. So I can't add no extra substance to this, to this body to have me any more sluggish than I can be on something already.
Right, Okay, So before we go, I just want to say that our producer just sent me a link, both of us a link saying that this goes back to her sins real quick. But I just feel like we should add it before we go. The Detroit rapper, the girl big dank m with the pretty face, she's suing Lyft right now. She's decided to sue Lift because I.
Don't think she has a lawsuit. And any attorney who picked that up, he just about to take money from her, yeah, to represent her. Because these are these these are independent contractors who work for Lift, and and uh, these are their personal vehicles. Even the ones who have a car from the companies, they're still making the car payment. Those are their cars. And you can decline if I don't like how person looked like I look like he might
be a serial kill and he's gonna kill me. I can decline that ride when I pull up, I.
Can, right, But can you discriminate based upon.
That wasn't discrimination? That was really it was really a risk. That wasn't I don't think it was discrimination because she's big. It was really about can this person ride in my car? For real? That wasn't discrimination. It was really about logistics.
Well, we're gonna see, y'all, We're gonna revisit this and see if she win this case. Now they have a video of her walking through this hallway, and you might be right. She might be closer to six hundred pounds. She is.
One of my sisters used to be like four hundred pounds and she was narrow, not nearly the size of that girl. So I have a visual like, yeah, she she needs to get gastric something something. She's not gonna live a long time. And people do. People do discriminate on bigger people. Jobs might discriminate on you. You know what I'm saying. You probably get like a call center job where you're sitting down all day long, that type
of thing. But people do discriminate on bigger people. But I don't think this situation with the lyft driver was a situation where she was being discriminated on. It was really about logistics. He was concerned about busting attire. Yeah, and she does need a bigger vehicle. When we look at six hundred pound life, what they come pick them people up in. They be coming to get having forklifts and all type of shit. Yeah, if somebody dies in a home or if somebody needs to get moved and
they can't move themselves. She is borderline right now. Yes, bad situation.
Yeah, and I think she really needs to instead of focusing on this, focusing on how she can get healthy. She is a very very big girl. In your body. Your heart, legs can't take that, can't handle all of that. But does need to hear No, Dad, I just got that in there. I just want to add that, y'all before we get up out here. We've been talking an hour and twenty minutes. Me and AJ could literally get on here and do a marathon conversation and it never get dub This is why we.
Don't talk of the phone that much. No more, bitch, because we'd be having to save content for one It's like it just get to be too much talking. Like by the time me and Tamy done talk thirty minutes, were like, bitch, you could have just recorded.
Yes, it could have been an episode at this point and.
Maybe guys, we'll start doing if we want to call each other on the phone, we need to be on here.
Yeah, that's what we're gonna do.
That's the bonus episode.
That's gonna be our bonus episodes because we got a lot to say, but I don't be.
I feel like I be monitored, not monitored, censored, you know what I'm saying, Like, you gotta you do have to censor yourself a little bit when you speak it to the public.
Yeah, I mean something mose.
I might not say on here Patreon.
I ain't even saying some of that shit on there so much.
I wouldn't.
My thoughts belong to me. And that's it, you know. And that way? All right, girl, close us oute of this motherfucker.
All Right, y'all, let's if you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect, iHeartRadio app or wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host, A j Holiday two point zero on instagrams.
Kick It Tam y'all's official tam banm on Instagram. I love y'all. So we have decentered men this week, but for Valentine's Day, we're gonna recent it a ass because it's valatized and we're gonna do something funny for y'all. So y'all, just, you know, continue to listen, and we appreciate y'all for tuning in weekly. We love y'all as to speak.
Now and never hold them dicks like let them digs go. Girl, put yourself first.
Think.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show.