Talk, Talk Talk. We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talk. What's up, y'all? We back? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode that We Talk Back, a show dedicated to you dreamers and chasers. It's your co hosts a j holiday. What's up fake tap and every fake TAPU and everybody in between. I love y'all, man, I love y'all. I'm hungover right now. It was just my birth, just like an ongoing thing for you though, like girl, No, hey, y'all noticing a
pattern anybody. I don't be hungover every Monday. Just intervention, monch, It's Tuesday. So now y'all sit as a d M or at us on something. Let us know if Tam be fucking drunk every time? Y'all hear you? If you say, I do you a mother? Lie? So I have one maybe two drinks? So what I'm alcoholic now? The whole world of Ash Traded Eddie Caine, Yo, how the hell you be remembering these goddamn movies like that? I don't okay, I gotta be watching it. I'd be like, oh, that's
my favorite part. I love them. I love them. You know. I'm a movie buff. How was your weekend, No, bitch, how was your weekend? Telling it was my birthday? I hate you missed it, but I understand going to see your a ninety five year old aunt y'all. Yes, honey, but I had so much fun. I love. I want to be a birthday. I want to be a birthday. Birthdays everybody just love it on you and giving you shit and poor liquor down your throat, eat your koochie,
all kind of things you know I got. I'm in a forday, I got so many roses in my apartments. I live in a forest right now, so it's just cake and shit over here and balloons everywhere. Don't eat it. I hate girl, This cake so good. I got two cakes and both of them are delicious.
But I'm gonna send them to my friends school tomorrow because my friend baby school. Let me say that, because I can't eat no more. My double chin is doubling like a motherfucker right now.
But it's okay. You've been seeing them a little chin straps on Instagram. Getting one. It don't work. I don't know. That'shits so uncomfortable. I'll be taking that neck brace off the ship. Women go through dog I know, I put that ship on. My mama call me. She's like, what wrong with you? Why are you sound like that? I was like, what are you talking about? I'm fine, barely could move your motherfucking mouth. And then shit, shave goodness? What about shadd shame? How was Florida Joe? We went
to Jacksonville. My aunt actually lives right by the beach. She is ninety five, so living by herself, walking around. I had just seen her recently at my uncle's funeral a couple weeks ago. I was like, man, I'm gonna come see you. So we orchestrated that and went down there and hung up with her. So now I'm gonna go back because she has all the family pitches. I need to collect all that shit because she is ninety five,
and I feel like I'm slick the family historian. I got my older cousin who is too, But we need to hold on to those things like family is fucking important. I feel like we be forgetting our heritage where we come from. You gotta get with the elders and see what is photo albums are of the past, you know exactly. So, yeah, she got all these old ass pitches everybody obituary like
we could put a whole puzzle piece together. Her house is like a damn museum a ship, yiad that of course the government down there trying to take her house because it's right on the right by the beach hard Rock Cafe where her house is and some shit like that. That's what they're doing. You've seen that old lady in Hilton Head. They're trying to take her family property. Is supposed to be helping her keep her ship. That's good man,
because you know like Gallagalla Island. So y'all, y'all remember the cartoon Gallagalla Island that's based off of the Fusky Island right outside of Charleston, South Carolina. And these people have inhibited this area for ever. Yeah, right, so now they have increased a lot of people's taxes three hundred plus percent to acquire their property. That's stealing. Like I said, how like, how do we sue the counties? Right right?
That's American as apple pie. That's ship right there, boy, stealing, stealing? Can I take your ship and make it legal eminent domain? That type of shit need to get They need to get rid of that type of stuff. You can just oh, we need to put a highway. We need to put a highway through this bitch. We just take y'all proper right.
So why did the government Why I can't imminent domain somebody? Shit, I'm gonna go imminent domain a car out this motherfucker and say, shit, the United.
States do it all the time. I discovered it, right, it's mine. It was just sitting here by itself. We needed. No one was claiming it. We needed it. So now they got they got squatters long like squatter's rule. So like say, for instance, you're going to moving on somebody's land or somebody's house and you've been there for ten years, it's your shit, right, even if they was paying taxes on it, it's still your shit. This shit is wicked shit, Wow, American listen, then the next ten years, I want to
be out of America. Like I had actually commented on Rihanna's page the other day, I was like, girl, you don't know know, uh, single Baysians, I'm trying to get citizenship. I swear to God, like you know, she's from Barbados, And I heard it was real hard. They don't just be given citizenship to anybody but like that is a goal in life for me. Like I want me a beach house with a little boy, dark skinned, with blonde hair, and my motherfucking husband on the beach in Barbados. Like
that's goals for me. I think I could do it. Yeah, why not?
I don't know about the blonde hair, but everything else is very achievable. I mean even the blond hair if you want to do a little bleach on your baby.
But I don't think that's a good idea. But you know, the ocean turns people here blonde. And like this this guy I have right now, he has some really nice brown hair. I think we could possibly produce it. I don't know you will alot with that. Let's get into stupid internet news, y'all. Listen, we got a few things going on this week. What are we not going to really talk about? Is uh that Carrie Russell shit. I want to see how that unfolds before we completely Yeah,
wis enlist or Baptist. But I'm glad she's home. But y'all, yeah, man, so sexy Radit is catching some backlash for going to high school. For going to a high school, she was there, Okay, to give our free haircuts and bundles to the students for promp because she says she says she remembered what it felt like, you know, not having and wanting those
things when she was in high school. But she came in crunk into the gymnasium and it sounded like they might have been playing, uh, what's the song with Booty Whole Brown? But she wasn't performing. I didn't Them kids don't know that song. They know that song exactly, and it's not her responsibility for them not to know it. Okay, if y'all want her to, she's not the parent. But what I'm trying to figure out?
What's Saint Louis School got a prom in the motherfucking middle of July.
I'm confused. Maybe it's for it, maybe it was just maybe it just resurfaced. I don't know. I don't think it was recent. It may have just resurfaced. Yeah, well yeah, so them kids need hair, they need bundles. So absolutely, absolutely, as long as she ain't and performing that song give back ship. If I signed up got that permission, ship slipped. I wish my kid might be in the gymnasium with them performing that bullshit. I wish I might. I'm feeling
a little uneasy, Like, okay, there's a little bit. I think somebody said it was Keilani's baby, but she like like the little video. She was like, wait, look a fud the hoochie daddy. She do her little face like that. Like I like that part because of that little video and his baby singing it. But like the whole song itself that they we talked about this like the lyrics, she ain't really saying shit. Here's the thing.
The lyrics that we are allowing our kids to listen to right now makes me scared to be an elderly person.
When I get old.
These are the people that's gonna be running the country and taking care of us.
I'll be pretty sure our parents thought the same about us because a lot of our generation, our generation, we're gonna be in church. Well, y'all gonna be in church with six inches. Well, your back gonna be bad from the heels, and you're gonna have sexy tattooed on your neck, you know what I'm saying, With your gloves on and shit like that's how we gonna look tatted up. Yeah, but here's the thing, they'll be growing up with a booty hole tattooed on their side of their nick because
shut up. That grew up too. Yeah, I mean we had music. Sukiana was in London. Did you see that video? Sukiana went to London and she was like outside talking about eating a nigga ass in the middle of the afternoon, walking down the street, embarrassing me. I was embarrassed me too. I did have second I saw that video and I did have secondhand embarrassment for sure. I don't know.
I think she's just liked to stay trending. I think she just I don't think this is really who she is. I think she just, you know, keeps doing things to stay trending or something.
Because but I just saw a video with her going hand because you know, her and Tasha k Hathen going at it, and she was saying like, y'all think y'all hurting me, calling me disgusting. I know, I'm disgusting, Like what, like this is this is actually who she is? I think we just have to accept the fact that we are seeing who she is. I am. Now, she could be a different person on a different day and different situations, but this is definitely a part of her personality, that's
what she is. Well, I just want to say, and this might sound very unto your me and I don't care. Y'all better stop eating each other. Ass that's where duty come from. Dodo, you're gonna.
Lick that why it's so many other healthier places on the body to lick. I'm just saying that when you bitch just in the hospital with Ekoli, just go ahead and play Sukiana over the.
What Rika Badu said, Erica Badu said, I need a rim job? Yeah, dukie Duca. Is that what she's saying. I don't know. I think so what a rim job? Yeah, but just don't be the eater. At least let it be a clean one. I don't know.
I feel like after two steps from the shower, your booty hole is again a booty hole.
Hit the air foot steps, it's back being an asshole. Babies, you're gonna have to live that thing in the water under the shower. Can't rip it out the plastics. It ain't no ripping it out the plastics. They hit their oxygen. Back to being the asshole. Okay. So speaking of the music, me just add this on so fabulous fabulous receipt has been receiving like mixed mixed reactions after claiming there's only one style of female rap slash hip hop being promoted.
So he tweeted, actually it was an Instagram post. He said, love hearing female rappers take us talk us some real shit. Women are so strong, have so many stories and perspectives that we need to hear in pure form. No disrespect to any female rappers out but I think there's only one style of female rap slash hip hop being promoted programmed and looked that as successful. Now it's true, true, but he's getting backlash from some people about it. And I liked how he Yeah, I like how he tried
to prime it up and was really like nice. I felt I received it too, because I think we're all still in the same age group with him as well kind of so I feel the same way, like there are different type of rappers out here, but it does seem to like, right, there's a certain thing being promoted.
Absolutely so we got you know, sexy Red, which I'm proud of any accomplishment, any black woman that's getting money, I'm here for it. But you don't get to hear Lady London. You don't get to hear Chica. You don't get to hear a lot of these artists that don't yeah, that don't get use sex. They're not blowing up, they're not being promoted. So I agree with him.
So now they have this all sample sized to show the rest of the world, Oh, this is black women, and it's just not true. We are very much so multifaceted. We come in all shape, size, of color, sexuality, We don't all do the same shit. But if this is all they see and then you got Sukihna over in Europe, Lord, you know what I'm saying, They're only seeing this one
type of person. So it's almost like I want us to be presented like when they see us, like it's just rich bitch energy, like rich bitch, grown woman energy, right, not like ratchet energy, which we're always displayed as. So they can get a different perspective of who we are because going there, we're showing them exactly we are also other things and that just needs to be displayed on But do we support those artists the same way? We have to, you know, take some accountability for that, Like
do we want a rhapsody song? Like do we want a cheek a song. You know, are we going? Are we gonna go in the club and dance to a Rhapsody song? Talk about self? I really we don't. We don't like that shit. It's not that we don't like it. Again, this is what's promoted. Is what's being promoted right now. Me personally, my music selection isn't even rap like that, you know what I'm saying. I like R and B.
I like old school. I like nineties R and B. I like old school, old school, old school Isley Brothers type shit. And I really the only time I listen to rap is if it comes on in a bar, club, get crownk with your friends, or at the gym. Yeah, Like, I don't just be listening to rap. And no, I'm still not listening to Rhapsody at the gym. No, I'm a whole I need to beat. It's the beats for me, not really the lyrics. It's like how that beat goes so I can get my momentum going to That's it.
I literally be in the bathroom rapping in the mirror with my guns.
So I don't know, it just makes me feel so gangster. I would never hurt anybody though. Now you're adding a, you are so gangster? Did that? Girl? You hear this, bitch? I think all I've never done that.
I've never been in the mirror with my gun. I'll be with my fingers finger guns.
Oh absolutely, I'm spraying the whole building. Bitch. Everybody, you better move ship, you better watch out. The finger guns get active. Let's be clear, Yes, but y'all, all our topics are kind of Intertwina day, I was gonna move on to Kiki right quick. All right? So, okay, so we all know what Kiki has has going on with the baby daddy and usher study girl. Right. So, recently, the actress performed at the Brocoln City Festival. Where's that DC? Right?
So a shit? She was performing a song right, so she went in. She added some extra lyrics, little booties matter, My son gave me some mass I'm my own boss and I got my own cash. I don't need a nigga. I don't need a nigga. Only thing I need is a bag. That's this is what she raps on stage. Her outfit was looking like blah blah blah. I feel it's giving social engineering at this point. The minute I saw it, I didn't like it. I didn't want that to this to be the narrative, but you know, this
should happened all the time. So she was like, I'm bougie and hood Kiki. You are not hood Kiki. You are from Nickelodeon. Come on, so what are we now? What are we using Kiki the Internet sweetheart to spread to the world about black women. We need our men, like this show in particular. For sure. We don't never be on a hate niggas train, you know what I'm saying, Because we want men in our lives. We talked about them,
I mean, but we love equally. We talked about women too, like yeah, I wanted them to fix it instead of you know, keep moving on. Yeah, because this right because here now is another thing for the men write in certain type of community communities right to say, well, look see see, how y'all do us fuck these niggas. I just need We don't need a man, We just need a bag single promoting single parent hoodhism. Like that's not the goal, man, that's not the goal. And I feel
like she's being used. I feel like I don't I don't think this is happenstance. Y'all know how I feel. Y'all side spread misinformation. But I want you to go check out the Tavistock Institute. Okay, just go google it, read about it, and see how black communities have been being programmed since the early nineteen hundreds. Just go check it out. This shit is fucking real. What's happening. It's social engineering. And being an independent woman was the dumbest
shit I ever bought. I never be on that type of type of job.
Listen, when I was young, like when I was in college, I was like, yes, I'm gonna be an independent woman.
I'm gonna do everything for myself. Now I'm sitting here like, man, shit, somebody get in here with me. The shit they're calling me gonna force somebody in there with you. Well, I can't wait. Just don't let it be a nigga, a little homeless. When if somewhere that kind girl, you gotta be inviting man day the energy were trying to put out there, not in twenty twenty three and beyond. That's not the rhetoric I want to see black women pushing. I've never said I don't need a man ever a
day of my fucking life. I've never said I'm a strong black woman. I'm not a self proclaimed strong black woman. Okay, let's be clear and we talk back though. That's the only thing we're gonna do. I think a lot of times people just don't want to hear. Sometimes when people are not ready to take accountability, right, the truth can sound like an attack. A lot of times black men they say black women don't take accountability. Y'all don't have
a problem with that shit too. Like for the most part, Yeah, so when we're voicing our opinions about stuff, because I think even when we tell people what the show name is, we're still not those black women that y'all think, right, Okay, we love our black men, We love and support y'all. Y'all be fucked up, we be fucked up, but we still love you, baby, exactly like I. I don't like.
I don't like what they doing with Kiki. I don't like her new transition that like I was rooted for her last week at the Baby Daddy thing, like trying to when she trying to play when she was like my mother and she's saying, Stevie, wonder.
I leave it right there, because yeah, I can fix this and be a family.
I don't I don't like this because I mean, there was things that happened in the nineteen hundreds that pushed black men out the home. A lot of them were leaving on their own. We're not going to just put all of it on the government or on black women. Those systems were put in place because black men were leaving their homes, let's be clear. And I think a lot of times men leave the home when they just can't figure out how to provide with all these things
stacking up against them. They can't get a job, they can't take care of their family. So it's easier to not see your family struggle than to actually be there and try to whether they're storing with them, and a lot of them run like this is cowardism, that's all it is, right, But I don't. I don't think black
women should ever and the internet nobody. I've seen some people see it the way we're talking about it, like this is a problem, right, But then you have a lot of people like yeah, girl, because fuck these and be the main ones crying by your damn self at night. Bitch, Okay, how can you pillow me her body? Jesus shut up right? Oh my insert story, don't trust no nigga and then be crying as soon as the story stops. Shut up, man,
just such a damn actress. Cut it out while curving everybody. Okay, everybody, I'll be trying with the I'll be trying with these black men. You'll be trying with the wrong people. Get you a regular nigga and stop playing with these niggas who think they the bitch. To think they're the bad bitch. Like they're literally looking in your marror what you standing next to them, and they probably think they're cuted than you too. Ain't no way these ugly hey, girl, may
be making nigga money, be making these niggas hallucinated. Let's be cleaire. Rick Ross was out here calling Tony Braxton old nigga. That's your age group, that's your generation. What are you talking about, nigga? We see you dive in that pool. You old too, Hey, you Melton, Let's be clear, niga, you lay an ice cream cone in this hot ass weather. Tootsie Row. I love Rick Ross. I love Rick Ross, but let's money be giving these niggas audacity, a lot
of audacity. Like this week we're talking about dating with intention, y'all, what is it? What is that exactly? What does it mean to date with intention? How does that look? What's some pointers on dating with intention? Can you date multiple people with an intention? Because when you are dating, you know, you might want to date a few people to see what's what.
Yeah, we're trying to bring the Black family back together, so y'all, yeah, man.
We got to get them relationships together. Man, that's a religion, relationships, relationships the sun, and that's my religion. Y'all. We be back. What's up, y'all? We back? Hey, y'all. It's easy and it's a j y'all. We have a lot of conversations about relationships and love and life all that same shit. Okay. I was talking to one of my friends and she was like, I'm you know, I'm dating with intention, but she was dating two different men, Like, how could you
be dating with intention? I can't. You can't be dating two men with no. You gotta focus. I feel like when you're dating with intention, no, you don't think so I'm intentionally dating these two men to see what you want. I like that. Nah, dating is one thing. Right, then when you find somebody via dating right that you are interested in they're interested in you. You guys do things intentional. That makes sense to me, Like you have to pick
the men you want to date intentionally. That's discernment and discernment to pick the right person that you want to date intentionally. I don't think you can date multiple people with intent with like intentionally dating with intent? What does that even mean? Let's talk about all right? So dating? And I also also thought about this after seeing Ray Kwan just got married at fifty three years old to his baby mama. Yes, been with because the kids are adults.
I believe. Yeah, nigga, I'm not doing it. Get somebody else to do it. A longtime girlfriend, if we would have, if he would have passed away, or like if somebody who dies like they put him, put you in the in the obituary as special special friend. Imagine being with a nigga for ten years and I got a kid. Nigga got you as special friend. My friend called her boyfriend her special friend. She's an old ass lady at heart. That's old. This is my friend, mister Earl, special friend,
Uncle Earl. So it says dating with intention refers to entering into romantic relationships. It's plural with the s on the end, with a clear purpose or goal in mind. Okay, instead of casually dating for the sake so casual dating, instead of casually dating for the sake of companionship or temporary enjoyment. Individuals who date with intention have a deeper understanding of what they want and are actively seeking a
long term, meaningful connection. My attention span is, I'm really like a what do they call it, a modern day monogamous like practice? No, I don't know serial monogamy. Shut up, No, I am a modern day I practice modern day monogamy, which means one dig at a time, one man at a time, like I saw, I got, you know I might. And when I say you talk about three summers, it was like, shut up, just one person. And when I'm
fucking with them, I'm not just talking about sex. I'm talking about time, communication, meeting out like all the things I can't junk, like juggle multiple people. When you actually trying to date with intent and you're trying to show this one person how interested in them you are. How do you pick one? Though? Okay, how I pick one nowadays? So there, I have a list, first of all, right,
what's on it? I think I read my list here before, and just recently I met a guy, and meeting him forced me to go back and find my list because I did this list like three years ago and I didn't like write the list myself. I was on the phone with one of my friends, the older lady when I first got into trading options. I met her and she's like a self proclaimed master manifesto, right, she actually
goes out and do conferences and shit like that. And while having a general conversation with her, she was sitting there right in my list, like, well, what kind of man you're looking for, you know, because you gotta be real specific when you're looking for somebody whatever. She was writing my things down and then she sent me this list. I met this guy, and I'm like, this shit is easy. This shit is fucking too easy. To know the man
is too easy, you know what I'm saying. You know, how you meet somebody and it's just like a lot of Riggan Moreau, a lot of unsureness, Like you know what I'm saying, you might be into him, but he's not being as attentive to you in the beginning, and shit like that. This shit easy. So I'm like, damn, so I had to go back and look at my list, like, did I find a nigga off the list? Did you? I don't know. I'm outside inside right now, I'm inside outside. You know, I feel like your list. I read my
list again. It's an earlier episode. But oh and one of the things she missed off this list, because this is my first thing that be on list, is fucking generous. Okay, I need a generous nigga. She missed it, all right, So mentally clear was the first thing spiritual? A choosy lover, which means and you know exactly, but he been around, okay, loves me for me. You know, I gotta be able to be myself at all times. Okay, Uh monogamous? All right.
So when y'all on here commenting on that fucking video that's been going viral thirty thousand times, I don't want a man that cheats, Okay, if we're gonna be cheating, if you cheat, I cheat, we cheat those. That's how that's gonna work. So before you do it, just consider who's making love to yo, old lady? Why you was out exactly because I make niggas cry full time, all right? Good with his hands all right, I like massages. I actually like to watch massage porn. You ain't nothing massage porn,
and that's a thing. Yes, bitch, motherfucker's getting rubbed up and all of a sudden it starts sucking dick and and you don't need massages and all that. I like massage points. I like a man that's good with his hands. Ain't nothing worse than a nigga. Like, let me give you a massage and do this boy, get off of me.
I wanted my back round. Oh they be too, They be too nigga, Get off ca all of a sudden right now they go straight to massage touch and now you got a whole palmer ass right after that, Get off of me, nigga. All right? Fit nice body with a broad back like a black man. Very specific. Yes, it's how I know God is real. Okay, them niggas backs be wild. Now I only talk about like little wow.
I'm talking about Jonathan Major's back like like yeah, this nigga, he can pull a tree out again, rights, back hand. I like nice backs, Like that's my favorite part of a man's body. It's back. And then it's like the little v cut if he got that you know, you know, some of y'all kind of gutties so you can't even see the V no more, but it used to be there attractive to me. You don't have to be the finest.
But like I said, I don't have kids yet. I would like my mate to be aesthetically attractive to me between the ages of thirty five and fifty. Yeah, he's like, hell no, nigga, give me a thirty one year old. Yeah no, like my age can marry between twenty eight and forty two? Are you serious? Twenty eighth and forty two? Did you want to pack bag lunch for the rest of your life? Oh my no, I had this one twenty eight year old. He had helped me up like this. He was like this, and I was in the sky.
I was like this, he's so strong, big me. I got a crazy back whole wow bag because I ain't know little girl home to be up in the air like that, right, that's a whole lot of shit going on. He can have kids ages four to twenty like, so little kids not newborns okay, and not no two three year olds either, So four to five to twenty years old, dog lovers, I want another dog, so you can't be I hate animals, grateful, right, secure, confident, a reformed whore.
I like, listen, I don't really want a man if you only fuck five people in life, because you probably would a woman who only had sex with four to five people. So now y'all only know wh y'all know, like, I need you to be able to put something, because what if you watch a lot of porn, you know how to do all the things. First of all, don't be watching porn and coming over here thinking I'm about
to do all this porn ship. That's that's not you gotta be have dealt with real women, right because you're not about to do all this slup me out ship. So you don't want to be slooded out, but I do. I want It's High Bridge, you know, that's my favorite ship. I like, I'm a real Gemini, y'all. I stay in the middle of all ships. I can see what the fuck is going on. So I need you to You don't want no nigga, like no, God doesn't want your
down there. You don't want that. No, But you also don't want like no poor don't bite my pussy like I don't want somebody who don't know how to eat pussy gonna bite your ship like you just don't know what you're gonna get with a guy who hasn't really had access to pussy like that. You know, I want you to be experienced. You can train them to do all the things you like. I like experienced men. Okay, okay, that's fair. I'm an experienced woman. Very no season, respectful,
you know that's on the list. Brave and a protector. That's my list. I guess I need to create a list.
I don't even have a list written down of all the attributes my thing be like it just be civil like integrity, ambition, some spirituality, caring, sense of humor, some style, and.
A dick yeah man. And money. Okay, I said ambition. If you're ambitious to I don't mean nothing. There's a lot of broke, ass ambitious people. You had to be able to translate that into money. Oh you're trying to be nice. No, No, that's what I'm not, just saying money generous with ambitions the word I use generous. I
like a generous. Typically men who are ambitious to have stuff, But that don't mean they're gonna be generous, you know, and it really doesn't matter how much a man makes how much they willing to give you, right sharing me a generous man. Yes, so that's huh. I feel like that's a Do you think that list is fucked up? Joy wants to know if the man has to have everything? No, he doesn't have to have everything, cause if he had all those that had a uh not so wild back,
you'd be Okay, Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I like, I have a certain like aesthetic man that I like, and it's kind of changing over time. But no, I could go out go without some of the things, and most of the things would probably be like the more physical things right, but all other shit I may not not. You have to be nice to me. To talk to me nice, I'm gonna be amused. I'm inspire You also
want somebody who inspires me. So those are the type of things that I'm looking for when I'm dating somebody. I want to be able to sit down with the person i'm with and write goals and shit like that, Like, yeah, I haven't had anybody like that. A lot of times you've been in situationships since this Nigga's planning his whole
life without you. Yeah, I don't want that anymore. I feel like that's what you get when you're not dating somebody who's also dating with intent, and y'all have now chosen each other and y'all can do all these things.
When I was talking to this guy and I was asking him, like, you know, what did he want in his future? And everything was about his children. He never said anything about a woman. Yeah, nothing about it. That's because they turned out to him.
And he was like, I didn't even realize that that. I didn't include that. I have to uh, maybe unpack what that is. Well, that's because they're current, that's currently where he's at, so he's not really thinking about having to consider a new woman. It's just these kids. And I feel like that's why. You know, the last person I was dating, he had sent me a message and he was like, you know, he worries about like being able to take care of me and his girls, Like
why is there even like it should be? I feel like that's something I don't want to really want to hear. I want you to just figure it out, to do it, because it's not hard. You know what I'm saying. You don't have to take care of me now, right, So why would why is that a thing that would be on your mind? So that to me, you'll never have another woman in your life. So just be honest with yourself, right, and just fuck bitches for the rest of your life.
But don't fuck women who don't got kids though, because you don't want no more kids either. Yeah, that's a lot, you know, so get bye bye.
I'm trying to decide. Have I truly honestly been dating with intention sometimes?
But I feel like anytime I put my intention on it, it always is so bad. I don't think you have to be like stressed out about dating with intention, right, but I do think a lot of times women, the mistake we make is asking for having these demands after sex and stuff like that, like them first few dates. Be honest and tell that man exactly what you want so he knows what he's signing up for. Some of them are still probably live to get the pussy. You know.
You just don't never know, right, But let that person know what you're looking for. I'm not just out here eating out with you just because I want a meal, right, I'm actually looking for a husband. I want to be married in two years. You know I want to have a kid. You know, make sure you put all your deliverable. You put it out too early. It kind of scares niggas off a little bit, and that he's not the
one for you. If me talking about adultshit is scary to you, get that's the statement too, Yeah, because this is regular adultshit. And I understand, like the older we get men have kids, right, So if you know that you're a man that has is you don't want any more kids? Why are you talking to me? Yeah? And you know that right? And also this is another thing I feel like it seemed like the onus is always on a woman. So the man say I don't want this, right,
and then he proceeds with you. You're saying I want this, you proceed with him. Why you stay? If you knew I ain't want this? Nah? Fuck that? Why'd you stay when you knew that's what I wanted. We both had a decision to make. You chose to stay. I chose to stay. Why is the onness always on our leve? No? I let her know it wasn't that type of time exactly. She got the kids this weekend. I ain't even gonna be there, but she got my kids exactly. That's what
I'm saying. Like, they'll play with you as long as you lit them. And that's some bullshit. Listen. So clarity of purpose is the first part of this. It says in individuals dating with intention have a clear understanding of what they are looking for in a partner and what they want to achieve in a relationship. They are focused on finding compatible match based on shared values, life goals, and long term compatibility. So first date, it is not
inappropriate to talk about this stuff. I feel like yall can just kill so much time, right, you know what I'm saying, aside from a cock shot, Like I'm gonna tell you all these other things that I need from you.
What if you met a guy who had all those things, I mean, he was absolutely perfect.
And then his dick wasn't enough? Then what what does enough mean? Whatever enough mean for you? Like it wasn't No, not a micro did, Okay, I can't deal with micro Not a micro did. But even though micro dis me love to Hopefully it's someone out there that just like this. I love nothing but Micael Dicks. This is crazy, right, A nigga penis never has to be this big. Women can't even take all this right half the time. Okay,
it's just un realistic. And I always say five by five to seven inches is all you need as a woman. Anything else is ridiculous. That probably like eight inches in with the girth on it is wild, wild back wild dick. I don't but I want more girth than anything. So this is this is thick. Yeah, okay, where is this going, bitch? I don't know. I was just trying to figure out that's like what was important. So if he just got
all the things, but no, dick I have loved. I don't want to put that on my list who did not have a love? And I've been cheated on by one who doesn't have a lot of dick, and that's the most hurtful. I love that little dick to death. I loved it. Yeah, I loved him because he had all the other things. So his little dick felt like a big dick because he was so big in all the other areas. Right, yeah, but then once you get bad, I was like, I can't believe I've been acting like
this behind this little dick. Nail God, the nerve of you to cheat on me with that, you can't unsuck it through. They were talking shit, were talking shit about them. Dudes. You can't unfucking you can't unsuck it. You was loving that long day. My problem is you embarrassing me, letting people know what type of dick I've been dealing with all this time. That's why I'm mad. Now everybody know I've been sexually frustrated for the last three years. Where
fuck you bye uh. Emotional readiness. People who date with intention have taken the time to work on themselves, healed from healed from pastulations. Some store working progress on that shit and develop a strong sense of self. They are emotionally prepared to engage in a healthy, committed partnership. You know what I got a problem with. I'd be talking too much about the past. You know, I've seen a video on Instagram and I know better, right, But I just I'm an open book. I don't mind. It's not
that I'm don't living there. Some of the shit I've been through, it's just fucking funny and wild. I want to tell somebody else about it.
But in the beginning, like it's off putting for me when a man comes and trashes his ex to me in the first day like just talking about their ex wife all bad and talking about the ex gird.
I'd be like, do you want to know anything about me? Or we gonna sit here and talk about this last shit right, you know, the whole time.
So I never I don't like that. I've had that happen and it's off put and like, what makes you think I would want to date you now? The way you're dragging this other person and maybe they were a shit person, but your energy is wrong for what I got going on?
Make me laugh, nigga? Right, yeah, I never experienced that from a man, but I'm definitely like when you start having them two hour long conversations with people, stuff come out sometimes. One of my homegirls, she was like, if you are a woman and you have a baby and a man is not in the kid's life because he's choosing not to and you find another man just telling that nigga dead, don't be telling, don't be telling. Don't
be telling a lie. And that's not a lie. Like essentially he is like you won't even take care of your kid. You are dead. You're not dead. He's just a dead beat dog. You don't want to let a man know about failed relationships. That's the thing, right, because sometimes subconsciously, subconsciously, some people don't put you through the same shit thinking you could deal with it because you did. You let that last nigga exactly. I literally had one of my exes, like, okay, when I was with him,
he got his baby mama pregnant for the third time. No, he had two kids when I met him. He got her pregnant, right, Yes, I had a tup of pregnancy, right, so now she has a baby. So the years later, now I'm with another man, I'm living in a long distant relationship. He gets somebody pregnant. I'm telling my first ex that was on this type of time because he's never not been trying to get with me, like get back, get me back, right over all these years, he like,
you took that nigga back. You're trying to compare your fuck up to his fuck up. You. The difference is you was living five minutes from me. This nigga was living eight hundred miles from me. Shit happens, and that's a little bit more understandable. But he really was like mad because I dealt with some shit from somebody else and deal with it from him. That's crazy. You can't get mad, so you're not gonna let me play you like the last name. But I'm not nigga like I'm wrong. Else,
what's wrong with y'all bitches? Now, y'all just don't be letting people play y'all like y'all used to. That's really why they're mad at me. They really be at him, mad because they can't, especially this younger generation of women, like they don't. They don't girl, they don't give a fuck. They do not give a fuck. Pimp outside, Yes, they don't give a fuck. I just hope they're doing any careful. The only worst part about it is that while they're
not giving a fuck, they're also still creating other humans. Right, that's the fuck up part about it. You know you can not give a fuck and be by your damn self. I don't say I'll spend that five hundred what is it? Before? Yeah, I was like, whoa, these lyrics are going there, but emotional readiness like you, they gotta be on the same page,
and you're not gonna know that unless y'all talk about it. Right, So instead of playing guests work and hoping he's on the same page as you, I don't like me feeling confused no more. Yeah, I need I need to know exactly where I stand in your life. I don't need you making plans for the future without me if I'm in your life today, Like, what the fuck? Because everything I do I'm thinking about you. I'm considering you and everything I do, Damn, I wonder if he can do
it with me. That's how I when I'm with somebody, even just smashing. If I'm smashing you on a damn regular and you might smash buddy, and we go to lunch, dinner, and I'll do all these things together, Like I'm considering you for my future too, What do you mean smash buddy?
Fucking So, if y'all are just having a sexual relationship, but that's a lot of these situationships, it'd be a lot of sex involved, right, a lot of sex and then you might eat in between, you might go on a trip it to here and there, but it'd be a lot of sex. To me, yeah, you do be a lot of sex. But what I'm confused as to what you're saying. Like, so, if you have someone who's you're just sleeping when you still considering them in that way, I guess I don't just be sleeping with them, you
know what I'm saying, Well, then there's not a smash buddy. Then, yeah, but you don't know what he thinks it is. So I guess I'm calling a smash buddy because if you're not considering me, you obviously think I'm a smash buddy. You know what I'm saying. If you're not considering me for anything else, like any real life events, you're right. So that's just you know, I'm just going based off what the man. I don't want to be confused. No, I don't want to have to guess where we are anymore.
Right So, and then if I ask you, I don't want no fucking whack ass ambiguous response like where you at? Where are you with me? Like? Where are you? If you even have to ask, you probably should get the fucking out of there, you know, because I feel like a man with real intentions for you. He makes it clear that he's fucking with you. There's no guests work involved.
So getting with emotionally ready people right open communication, love it communication is crucial, and dating with intention These individual individuals are upfront and honest about their intentions. Desires and expectations from the beginning. They express their goals and listen actively to their partners' needs and aspirations.
I think that's important because I think oftentimes, especially younger women, find themselves committed to a nigga that they never ask to be in a relationship, Like he never asks you to be his girl. Y'all never had that conversation. Y'all never had a verbal agreement that y'all were committed. And now you are in a committed relationship right, essentially by yourself.
You know.
So maybe he's doing all the things that would say he's committed to you. In the event that he does something that proves he's not, he can say we never said.
We was in there, and that's emotion. And that's why going forward in my next relationship, if whoever is listening, I need a certified letter, right, notarized, and it could be in like some little shit from high school. Check yes and no. Right, I want you to be my girl, check yes and no. I need that. I want to I want you to be my wife. In a little bit, you know some something I need. I need that comforment
because I've never done that. I'm saying have you ever had a man say, hey, man, I want you to be my girl? Like? How long ago was that? So? I have had a commitment phobia most of my life. I'm working on it, and all my relationships was like either we about to be together or we gotta leave each other alone? What you're gonna do because I'll be like, why we got a mother label on it? I mean, I don't know.
That was always me so even with like my last one and the one before that was definitely.
Like they asking you what it is? Yo? You see? All right, y'all think i'd be tripping, but I'm dealing with a whole grown ass man. Okay, I'm in a fucking committed relationship fucking mentally, contractually, physically with a grown ass lady. Boy. I'm just thinking about your relationship for a commitment in okay, real way. But there was a time where I was just like, why so you're emotionally ready now for a committed relationship? Are you sure? I
am very sure? Okay, all right, that sound good. I believe you. I don't think I would like it much, bitch. It wouldn't be that now. It wouldn't be like.
Either, listen, you need to be my girl. We just need to stop doing this. I don't think I'm not there no more.
I think like I would be ready, like okay, let's let's go ahead and do this for real, or you can end up on the other side where you ask him, so what we doing.
I just don't feel like I'll ever be there because there's just so many options, like nigga, you know it's nigga right here, right here, right here.
I feel like these dudes don't realize, like y'all, they think they got so many options. Men don't have that much options. Nigga, If I'm choosing you while you're balding, while you're gaining weight, why are you doing exactly like all of us all, we're all aging, we all, nobody's getting any younger, and I'm still choosing you. Excuse me? Why do you think you got all these options out here? It's only like five bitches out here, and it's five niggas left, like, like, what are you gonna do? But
social let's bring it back to social media. Social media will make you feel like it's a holo dex. Yeah, if you have access to everybody, why do you want access to everybody who was I talking to recently that said, No, we wasn't. This is actually I was whit with me. No, that men really think they can suck everybody.
I don't think men think that they can't fuck nobody dog Jordan's Do men feel like they can fuck everybody?
Yeah? I don't think that. Carlinos Miller said that on our episode. That's when I was watching. I saw that. Yes, it was like it's three hundred and sixty five days in the year. But you know, and I said, I mean you might have access, but is it is it forceful? Did they consent? Though? You know what I'm saying, What what are we talking about? Because you cannot, as a man, fu who you want. I think women can. We can go our nine Walmart and pick up some dick in
a real way. But men can't do that. No, I don't think they can do it the same way.
But it depends on what men because I feel like there are some men that can just have their pick.
Of the litter as some very slim usually millionaires, and that's when it should be just out here getting all these bitches and you don't got nothing for them. So open communication, that's my favorite. Be able you should be able to talk to whoever you wit, ask them questions and they give you like real valid answers, you know, not some beaten around the bush type shit to keep you continuously confused about what's actually happening. Next one is
building a strong foundation. Dating with intention involves investing time and effort and effort into building a solid foundation for a relationship. This includes developing trust, fastening excuse me, fostered. This involves developing trust, fostering emotional connection, and nurturing shared values. I feel like we kind of talked about that alright, Yeah, yep.
Evaluating compatibility is the next one. Those who date with intention are mindful of avaluating the compatibility between themselves and their potential partners. They take the time to assess whether the relationship aligns with their long term goals and values. I do need to be with somebody who has the same. Yeah. I was dating this guy. I really liked him. He was so fine. He was a marine, he was like strong, He just had this presence about him. He had the
most beautiful teeth and dimples, chocolate, great personality. I loved everything about him, and I was like, Okay, I'll marry this guy. But he did not believe in God. And I was like, in what way did he not did what God was within him? Or just atheists? He was an atheist and a black atheist. And I thought, why you said that, Like, that's a lot of people who don't like believe in God in the same sense that you know, Christians might. Okay, well, you don't have to
be a Christian, I said. When I said my list, I said spirituality. So he was just didn't believe in nothing, you know. And it just was it was like the absence of belief to me, you know. So, but how live in his life? How was he as a person. He was a joyous person. Okay, like a joyous person. But I just needed you to believe in someone. He believed in himself, I bet you. So one day I was in South Park Mall and these girls, they said they was doing some study for their college or something.
They walked up on me and they started to talking about Christianity and religion and all that, and I'm like, she says something about Jesus Christ, and I was like, I don't practice that, you know what I'm saying. So she was like, well, you don't believe in nothing? I said, I believe in me, I believe in a God and me right, So maybe he didn't have the words to expressed in that way. A lot. I think that's where
a lot of people are atheists. Right. They don't have like the words me and I don't want to put words in people's mouths, right, but they may not have the depth to express what it is. But you absolutely, but I believe in something. You don't have to believe. You don't have to do anything. You don't have to. But I would need the person that I'm with to proclaim that, not just live their life good and treat
you to believe in God. Why because that's what I believe in and I need us to align in that way. That's just one thing that I desire. I guess I understand him. I understand people when they say they don't believe in God or they'll believe like a God exists. This world is treacherous there, it's just a terrible kids. Kids get done up. You know, any place where kids get the worship happening to them like this can't be
a godly place. When I think about what God is, right, I also think you have to consider how you view the world too, because I see goodness where I go. I see children thriving, I see happy kids, I see love. But the things you don't You see the news though, right, Yeah, I do. I do. But I choose to focus my energy on the godly things and be the godly things that exists. So I don't see the world as treacherous.
I try not to look at it in that light. And I feel like the way you view the world, you're gonna see what.
You view, you know. No, I think that you're gonna probably manifest the things in you with your viewing, right, But you can't just be out in the world in ignorance as things aren't happening to people, you know, because we see it every day all day. So him being a good person, I feel like him being a good person treating you nice, that is godlike, That is godly. Just because he didn't have this self proclaimed belief like you do, I would not have discarded him in no way.
No, he had to go get up out of there, my boy. I'm sorry. I need you, I need you to believe.
That's what we differ. If I was sitting down when we do our and I have a good idea for our dating little thing we will do one day. If I was sitting at the table with a man and he, you know, telling me all these things, and he was like, he's a he's an atheist or I don't believe in God, I would just need him to expound a little bit more, that's all. But if you living your life right, I don't believe that I'm gonna die. I don't believe in like a heaven and hell. I believe that's eternal. You've
created that heaven and hell. Whatever you believe subconsciously is where you're going to go once you pass this realm. Right, So if you are living godly, if you are living you know, have compassion for people, consideration for people, Why would I go to hell? Newborn babies or whatever the age is that they say you got to repent by or when you die you're going to hell. Like kids haven't even had the experiences yet to be good or bad or repent. Why would I? Why would they go
to hell? That doesn't make sense to me. Right, So it's a lot of things in the religion I don't agree with either. So I wouldn't dismiss that person.
I just want someone that I can pray with and then if you're a person who doesn't pray because you don't believe in those things.
He didn't do none of that.
I don't think he just it was the void of any spirituality, and I think he needed to find whatever that was, you know, So it just didn't align with me.
I want to pray over my food. I want to pray in the morning. I want to pray before, you know, if I'm having surgery. I want a man who's praying over me. I don't want a man's like not for you on the other side. No, he don't even believe in no other side. Perhaps, you know, he believes that you'll be okay. That is that is That's enough prayer, that's all the pride. I didn't know. I didn't belief that you're going to be good. I didn't know that. I didn't know that to be true.
It's just like, as you assisted him the absence of yeah, I had to let him go on about his business.
You thought he was a demon of your husband. I ain't. I wasn't gonna get a chance to find out. Squirrels take scuirre ass So yeah, that's what dating with intention is and I mean, we can go on and on with this this list thing. But but okay, hold on, and here's another thing about him. He would mock my beliefs. That was a problem. Give me an example, like here you go talking about your god again. Oh no, see yeah he can get the fuck now I do. That's
a whole house divided. That's what I'm saying. Like, so my thing is like diet though, like nigga eating too much steak. Like, I'm not trying to make somebody like change their whole shit for me on some air cub I do shit. But I feel like I'm very influential, right and if I can point out like why you should be in this way or whatever. And as a woman, I'm responsible for the nutrition of the family. So whatever the fuck I'm cooking with your niggas eat and it's
gonna be very good. Right. So I'm not overly concerned about somebody's diet. But I don't want to be a wanted to be a fight. You know what I'm saying. If a nigga smokes cigarettes, I'm not trying to change you. I'm not talking to you. I don't fuck with cigarettes. You know what I'm saying that's a deal breaker and it's not even on my list. I just already automatically. No, I don't want you to change shit by yourself. I want to be able to run into somebody and like
everything about them. I'm not trying to change you. You're not trying to change me. We can cohabitate. This is this is shallow as fuck. But I'm a say I don't like a man who don't drink. What man, Yeah, have a cocktail with me? Like, let's have a drink. Let's go out and have some drinks. No, you don't have to be an alcoholic. I don't want you to be an alcoholic, but I do want to. Do you realize that? Okay, So I have a friend. Every time
this nigga always want to take shots. I'm like, you're alcoholic, nigga. I don't drink in a daytime. I don't drink as soon as I walk in the fucking door. I ain't even put my ship down yet, and you asking me if I want a goddamn shot, and this is my friend. I'm like, no, nigga, Like you might need to stop taking shot too. Like what you said borderline, be like balance, But there's no drinking. But what do they smoke? They do your other thing.
That's cool, that's cool. But all right, so yeah that's cool. If there was a smoker and they just don't drink it all you the dd?
What do you think they're gonna be lame because they don't smoke. I mean because they don't drink. No, not lame.
I think there are a lot of great people who don't indulge. Right, I just want somebody who's gonna.
Drink with you. Yeah, so if you meet a good guy, if you had your list, so you're gonna put on your list. This nigga gotta drink. He has to like cocktails. I don't know if that's shallow, but it's like, ah, bitch, you're mad because I don't want to poison myself. Fuck you. Yeah, I'm not mad. I'm not mad at all. I just won't fuck with you if you don't drink. I don't. I don't pass up your husband because he don't drink.
Poisonous with a guy because he don't drink. You know, but that's what she just said, right, She ain't fucking with you if you don't drink. I would like a guy that likes to go out and have a cocktail every now and then. M I is that so wrong? No thank you for or no, look I done took the ship, look tell for anyway. I don't know, man, dating is fucking tough. It's tough, and I I don't feel like keep like meeting people. I don't feel like people that people. I do too. And I also like
first dates, right, I like all the first experiences. I saw this this shit on Instagram one day. It was a lady. She was talking about, you know, the first time you have sex with somebody, like how good it be, like the feelings and stuff like that. She was like, the only way to get that intense sex every time is to fuck somebody new every time.
Sometimes the first time isn't good. Sometimes I haven't experienced that. I haven't experience chemistry sexually.
I just be knowing. Now. It's the back. That's why I like bats, depending on the back. You know. It's the back, the back, and that fucking forearm. That's how your arm is the left of the penis is what you're saying. How it looks so yeah, sometimes like I would have a big dick, but like just the stretch out used to judge his bitches, grab for her if it's thick, you know, the thick forearms, because you know they gotta a lot. Because a nigga like right on
your hands, like this shoulder bench. He ain't need nothing arms. I ain't want a nigga lay in the pussy. I used to tell my ex, get up, stand up? What are you doing? You gotta do something? Pickups like that ship. I don't know when the last time you've been on a date? Actually day before yesterday? And how was that? And who was that? And how did that go? How did you meet them? Oh?
I met them in Miami at a club many many years ago, and they were in town and we hung out and went.
And got some food and then we went to a comedy show. So it's a good time. It's a good time. No, you know, nothing to run home back? Okay, nothing to talk about a week? Got it? No, I got it. We all had dating, y'all, But that was when was your last day? Like two weeks ago. I'm a dater though, like I would get you. I like to get dressed pretty, go to nice places and eat good food and talk
absolutely so. And I like first dates. But I don't like just having to entertain multiple people like that entertain. I don't feel like you get somebody else to do it, man, I don't feel like it. But how are you gonna know who you're gonna meet that could be yours? I talked to them. I talked to them on the phone. No, I mean you could go out also, But you know, talking on the phone, like communicating, you find out a
lot about people. That's all. I'm confused why men, and maybe men need to talk on the phone more, right, Yeah, they be so upset because y'all want to take all these different women on dates, right, and then you're mad when you don't get pussy at the end of the day when you really could just get a prostitute and fuck her, but y'all want regular women to do prostitute shit. And then you get mad when you don't get pussy
at the end of all these five dates. You took five different bitches out, find you somebody who actually likes you and d yeah, and then take them off exactly and you got guaranteed pussy. That's how that works. Use discernment, have conversations like stop just trying to get a bitch out the house. So you can get them back in the house so you can fuck. I don't feel like guys like I'm going out on dates and I don't feel like they be thinking that they can fuck because
maybe those guys are dating you with intention? Do you see what I'm saying? Just you, though there's somebody else that they're not dating with attention. You're like, all right now, hear it? Like they don't got the right to sit on the pussy. I don't know. Goodness, all right, well, this is fun. You can't end the damn show like that. I got, y'all this girl, crazy man. Listen and listen. Okay, let me stop calling you stupid bitch because I don't
want nobody confuse me. No, No, they don't, girl, they don't. I've been reading y'all comments, and I want to reiterate this again. Fuck y'all. Anyway, what's up? All right? If you enjoyed this episode, tune in every Thursday on the iHeart Radio app and wherever the fuck you get your podcast at this Joe calls a j holiday two point Oh, y'all, it's me Tam. I love y'all. Once again, Remember to speak now and never hold your peace. This is