Brown Babies

Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network Talk Talk.

We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks back.

What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of We Talked Back, We Talk Black. Your host AJ Holiday, what's up.

Tam Bam, y'all, It's me Tammam. I love y'all.

Thank y'all for tuning in another week. We appreciate y'all so much. How was your weekend?

Aj?

Hey, it's my birthday for d okay, and I feel the say no, actually I don't. Okay. Let's talk about it for a second. So I turned forty on Saturday, and for whatever reason, I had a migraine Saturday morning, Sunday morning, Monday morning. But Sunday I never left the bed and my whole right side of my body was doing something like without me even moving. It was like Paul satan All type of shit was going on.

Don't you take drugs on Saturday night?

No, I didn't drink the entire weekend listen. I had a very clean birthday. I went to my niece's graduation, My youngest niece graduated from high school. Shout out CanYa, congra baby on the stage. Okay, she graduated top of her class and she better from Burke High School. Bitch, you better be at the top of the mouth anyway, girl. It was so ratchet. I feel like I was at Coolie High. Okay. The graduation was Saturday, twelve o'clock. We got there and I'm like, okay, are we at the

Like really?

And this is this is why later on in this episode we talk about Sexy Red because I think they was at the graduation. Sexy Red was at the graduation. Bitch, you hear me? Who was looking like they was going going to a cookout and then looking at you looking well, yeah, probably they probably went straight from there to other probably little family gatherings. But I fell out of place because I looked like an adult. And this is one of the you know, probably not the best school in Charleston.

Yeah, because it's some weird shit going on. A young man his grandmother reported him missing over the weekend, and he wrote a disc track.

He made a dis song to her and released it.

It was calling her all kinds of hoes and saying he ain't missing he's just running up his bag fifteen years old, calling his grandma the hole in the song because she reported her.

I've seen that, and like he gonna pull up on her with the blicky yeah.

And hurt his grandma for like reporting him missing is insane. And where are the older men in his family who are to course correct that, because somebody need to course correct that.

But there is nobody, Nope, and even I know I talked to you about this a little minute ago, but this this dude in Charlotte murdered his forty three on mom because she told him to go get a job and killed me. He came back and shot her. Yes, so now you don't have a mom to support you while you're in prison.

Just you should have just went and got the fucking job, right, because now you're going to hate. But I think maybe this person must have had like some type of mental health issues that wasn't being because who just killed their mama for telling them they need a job?

It got to be something not right that correct.

That other boy was a rapper and he murdered his mom for life insurance policy to defund his career.

Like, I don't know what.

That's so superath behavior behavior, because.

That graduation was disappointing. And you know, my niece, she did her things. She's going off to Klafling University in Orangeburg. She's a very smart girl. Like when I tell you hood babies be, they gonna make it. They gonna make it. So I wish that class good luck. But I'm gonna tell y'all a dulting is scamming. It's a scam likely, okay. But anyway, aside from that, my birthday was cool. We had a good dinner and shit, I carry my masks. Mab bitch, you ain't even had sex on my birthday.

Well you look, you look pretty. You posted some pretty pictures. What did I do this weekend? Girl, I'm a hermit crab. I staying in the house. Like the taste of Charlotte was like I could see the taste of Charlotte from my patio and it looked you're it down there. I ain't go down there.

People say you're not coming downstairs.

No, no, thank you.

There's too many people.

It's all the fucking people. And I'm trying to lose weight. I don't need to and I don't need to.

Spend my money. So oh, I had that already. I had that before, I've tasted it. I've tasted all the tastes I need. I'm trying to unbig my back. Let's get into scenes of the week.

So if y'all were under a rock, y'all miss that. Michael Rainie Jr.

Did Tyler James live stream and he was grown by the streamer's sister live on the streaming. You could see him like, go, my penis is being grabbed right now, and she looking at him like what's up?

And shit went viral.

Everybody was talking about it. The young man, Tyler James tried to blow it over at first, but it got so much attention that he issued an apology to Michael Rainie Jr. And then Michael Rainey Jr. Also said, you know that he was stilling talk about what happened, and basically he was he was gonna let it blow over, but he felt like if it was the other way around, it.

Would be an issue, you know, and.

And it's not okay, and it ain't okay for her to do that, to just grab that young man's uh private and if it had been.

What's that nigga name, he would have kicked you in the face. So what's his name?

Kevin Gate?

Yeah, Kevin Gates would have kicked you in the face. You can't just be grabbing people parts.

Listen, what is The girl looked young as hell, She looked younger than Mike Rainey.

Yeah, but very aggressive, Like her face was very like, what's up?

You know, I think women actually have more more trouble accepting rejection than men. M you know, because in our minds not an hour because in that group, but in some women's minds, you want to at least fuck me, at least imagine somebody at the very least you want to at least fuck me like that is definitely some women's thought process. So when they are rejected, even for sex, it's you're gonna have hell to reckon with as a

Yeah, you ought to be embarrassed. I'm sure she is somewhere embarrassed. She did not issue an apology. She's probably somewhere hiding in shame for embarrassing her brother.

You know, he says she's no longer.

Michael Rainey's like, what makes you think you got access to that, to that anyway? Like like this, ain't even no regular at the house that might butt you down right quick, right?

That was crazy to do it, nut, no pun intended.

It's nuts. So y'all the internet is getting even more spooky. Okay, Meg the Stallion has a sex tape. It's not her, though, It's an a I created sex tape of Meg thee Stallion. Meg thee Stallion's performance of Florida proved more emotional than most fans probably expected, because Meg barely held back tears right before playing one of her hits. When the beat starts, Meg tries to launch into the song, but can't even get through the first few bars before stopping to collect

But that's why I'm glass glad how blessed she is, because the hate is equivalent to the blessings at this point.

It's just absolutely extreme.

What I'm you know, I hate that that happened to her, but I'm glad it's not her real body, obviously, But what we need to be concerned with is why are we not out in the streets about.

This AI shit.

This ship is scared real and we are just very very taking it on the chin, very much, taking it on the chin that we are allowing this AI reality to be a thing in our culture. It should be demolished in some way. It's gonna take over us. We are going to be second class citizens in our in our country to AI.

Yeah, so y'all keep playing.

Elon Musk tweeted, you know how we're not tweeted he's actually challenging Apple because they want to put chappie Chat GPT onto iPhones, like within this new update, which is a whole lot of shit coming with this new update for iPhone. I'm considering switching back to Android because that was never an Apple girl. Okay, I know business people prefer Apple, but y'all might see this green bubble pop back up on y'all shit. But yeah, like people don't realize how this is bad.

This is terrible.

It does help move humanity forward some because we would like to think that the that there there's a human programming the computer. But at some point it's gonna be not just artificial intelligence, it's going to be artificial and artificial consciousness. You know what I'm saying. This is why you have apps like Clubhouse. They are getting our vocals, our voices, how we sound, how it elevates when we're mad. They have all these different apps out here studying real

Right, And it's gonna a robot sitting outside your door talking about come outside if you want two bitch, you're gonna get shot now.

Then what you're gonna do?

They already have robots policing people. Yeah, places, Yeah, it's RoboCop.

This motherfucking robot car is our robot, bitch, And shit gonna get real, like so we all gonna be living in a motherfucker sewer because y'all wanted to make the style your fuck with an AI apple.

See keep playing the only.

Thing I want to do with AI is make songs like bb ol Drinzy bbyl Drenzy.

That's the start of it. That is the start.

I want to do that for sure.

Do we have any other suits?

Yes, okay, y'all, I don't know. Do you do dating apps?

I used to, but it just never worked out for me, so I stopped swiping. I'm tired. I feel like I'm talking to AI person. It's just the same conversation over and over again with a different face.

Or a scammer. Because the last dat and app I actually tried to get on with Sugar Babies whatever that shit is, and it was a bunch of scammers from Africa and shit on there. It was nobody, nobody for real on those.

Apps, right.

I saw this story on the Shade Room. So black women are taken to TikTok to express their dissatisfication with the dating apps. So dating apps have forever changed the landscape of dating, of the dating scene as we know it. However, some claim that the algorithms could be biased towards certain races, so it says several black women have claimed that the Hinge dating app is pushing their profiles to the bottom

D D.

I didn't watch the full video. I didn't go watch because they actually had people like, you know, different people talking. But okay, so you change your preference, I mean not preference. You change your demographic right to Caucasian, and then all of a sudden different types of men start popping up, is what I'm gathering is happening. So me, black girl, put my picture up. I'm not having access to the same pool of men until I change my and my

That, but can't the men put is there a preference on race on there?

Yeah?

I believe so you could put like what you so?

Yeah?

Yeah, so maybe I think the men that you are seeking are looking for right, So yes, and I so that it might you might be seeing these men because they put Caucasian women, that's what they're interested in, and that's now why you're seeing them.

Right, Like who you're in right and I'm wondering if they are seeing is it white men that start popping up or other nice looking black men? Maybe right, maybe maybe their preference can also be white. They might have it to what they don't want their preference to be black women. We already know we got a problem with these niggas. I don't know what. I don't know what more what?

What are you?

What do y'all really want? You know what I'm saying, I'm not telling you to go date white men, But there's other groups of people we can start exploring. You know, if you're having having problems dating amongst your own right, you have to start exploring. We don't have to. We

But just we imagine being mad enough about a dating app to sue to.

Y're not picking me?

Like what like what?

Yeah? So I mean it kind of goes into our topic today because, like I said, people are allowed to have preference as long as somebody is not disrespecting you. Do you see online like where like let's say a basketball player he has a black wife, right, this black wife may not be light skin, but she's black. I mean, may not be dark skin, but she's black. You'll look into comments and the things that black women are saying

She's still a black woman.

That's still a black woman. And if that's that man's preference, let it be. Is nothing you can do about it, y'all. Y'all can't make people choose you other people you, Yeah, you can't make people choose you. So I don't know I've never had I've never had those issues, so but I know they exist. So I'm not being discissive of that.

Bitch.

I've been getting the same I've been getting niggas with the same body my whole life.

You know.

It might have been a little slimmer at one point, a little chunky, but I never had problems dating or accessing the person and I wanted to access never.

Yeah, likewise, I don't know, but let's get into that conversation about, like, you know, the relationship between women light skin and dark.

I want to talk about it.

Call her colorism.

We'll talk about it when we get back, all right, guys, I know we were just talking about a little bit of colorism, which brings us to our topic today.

Now.

I brought on my good friend Teresa. I reached out to her yesterday and I was like, you a fine chocolate girl.

You grew up chocolate with light skinned sisters.

Would you like to talk about your experience as a young girl growing up in a household with light women being a dark woman. She said, absolutely, I have so much to share about that. So I couldn't wait to bring her on so we could have this conversation. Thank you for coming. Teresa, Hey.

Meeting you as well.

So y'all know, like in the black community, this is like one of those conversations aside from the fifty to fifty conversation, It's just one of those those things that I think, maybe it's uncomfortable for me because I don't feel like I've actually experienced what darker skinned women or lighter, lighter skinned women experience. But I understand both sides of the spectrum. I understand the dynamic between these two subgroups within the black culture. We've created a whole subgroup, and

Yeah, when we're not busy going in with.

White people, guess what you're still in it to them.

It's like if I ride in a car with a bunch of light skin bitches and they say, you niggas, get out of the car.

They're not just talking to me.

Everybody.

Yeah, So Teresa, yes, talk to us about your experience like growing up as the chocolate sister in the family, Like what did you go through what'd you.

Experience, Well, I am the second.

Out of three girl syndrome to go ahead to.

The black sheep.

Yeah, And I never thought of it as being the black sheep. I thought it was because why she didn't get in trouble or why did I have to get in trouble? And I just in my own head put it as oh, because I'm the dark skin one of the family, Like they get treated better because they're light skin and I'm dark skinned. So I always had it in my mind and my mama sat me down. I

Because you're light skinned?

Like he's human, just like the rest of us, what does color have to do with it? Like I had to really tell her how that made me fear feel because we were watching Pee Valley a few years ago when it first came out, and she was saying, how you know the black girl because she is biracial, she grew up with a white family, So the black girl. I'm like, both of those girls are black. What you say, the dark skinned girl? So that bothered? That bothered.

Saying the dark skinned girl because you know that's still her human experience as well, and how she felt on that job site, right, So that now insert how you feel, how she shouldn't feel is a projection act.

Yeah, it's a project because yeah, and I think, yeah, go.

Ahead, No, And I was about to say, I think, you know, honestly, white people, you know, has caused this division amongst blacks.

In the black community. Let's keep it real. They put the light skinned ones in the house cause.

Their children and they had yeah, right right.

Well they know.

Somebody is because how they got light and they caused that divide.

People have always come in all shades colors, you know, even if if you're just thinking about slavery, we've always been different shades, right, So I don't feel like we only got light because we mixed with European or Hispanic or something. At some point. We've always been different shades. Like I have some people in my family who have green eyes, red hair, damn near albino looking, you know.

Well, could you imagine I'd be mad at a bitch too if I'm out in the field all day.

And she said, up in the house looking down at me, and.

That that definitely creates a culture of division between two women who are the same. Essentially we are the same, we just look different, and that creates a divide.

And I think it's just passed down.

And you know what, trauma is passed down in our dm DNA Because even then your mom told you, don't you ever say that, where did you learn that?

You know?

How did you subconsciously decide that you weren't enough? Was it something that was already in you or is it just learned behavior from society around you that makes you feel that way.

I saw this video. I can't remember what it was called, unfortunately.

But it was where children were acts which doll was prettier, and they were little little kids, and all the little black kids said the white doll was better looking. And it's like, what is happening in our society where that is being taught to us consciously because we're not literally watching nothing that says, hey, this white doll is better, you know, but there's some type of learned behavior that is being passed down to us. And that's so, is

My mom has light skinned sisters, my dad had like has light skinned sisters, So maybe they got their color from each side. But it's crazy. I hear the story all the time. My first sister was born. She came out seven, super super read. Yeah the milk.

She came out, of course, they said she came out looking like my dad, But she was really, really really red.

And my dad he drinks, he has a little fun and he went to the hospital. He was like, wake your ass up, who bay is this? So my mom was like, you know, she didn't want to hear it. But when I came out, he was like, damn right, that's my child right here, because I came out dark. So it's just like, yo, they probably got their color from the family, because of course, you know, sometimes things skipped curations.

So yeah, that's like one of my sig she's the middle and she's the light skin baby, and my mama has the most pictures of her. She had red hair, light skin, and my dad's mom would say shit to my mom like whose baby? This is? What's she get that hair from? And what type of name is Amantha? Like this is how she would chast not chastise, but like antagonize my mom about having this lighter baby. But my mom's dad, I meanxcuse me, my dad's dad was lighter.

Right, he just had a.

My dad used to say, so, my mom's side of the family is I'm probably we're probably the darkest one. Me and my sisters are the darkest ones in my mom's side of the family. All of them are mixed race and very fair skin. And my daddy used to poke fun when I was a child and saying that we couldn't go to my grandma's church because they have a comb hanging down from the door and if you hear, don't slide right through.

It walking to the church.

I would have got at the door to.

Me too, Okay, Okay, that's so stupid, that's funny.

But I used to I was a little girl, so I used to be believing that ship he was saying that, you know, like not understanding that. He was just making fun of the colorism things that go on within a family.

Yeah, that's funny out of all things.

So, what's the dynamic with you and your your lighter sisters. So it's three of you, you said, and so you have too older or you're in the middle.

So well, Tya, Teresa, Tracy, And honestly, I love my sisters, but I really don't have a relationship with them. Yeah, we'll speak, but it has nothing to do with the color. It's just more so we don't have anything in common. So that's why I labeled myself as the black sheep. We don't have anything in common, but they have so much in common. But like I said, I love my sisters, but we really don't speak, but we're there for each other. Y'all live in the same y'all grew up in the

Do you feel like they felt like they were better for.

Being like I don't. They never gave me that. They never because no, they never gave me that.

But it's like I was the rebellious one, so I could do anything and I'll get in trouble. But it's me reverted, so she I got in trouble because I'm you know, they're better than they think they're better than me, or they never get in trouble because they're the light skinned sisters. That's just how I felt growing up. And you know, as an adult, I see now I was a little badass, not bad, but I was rebellious. I wanted to hang out with the killers and the drug dealers.

So you feel like you did.

I think parents do treat their children different regardless. Right, everybody has a different personality, and he probably saw more of himself and you while there was a different type of you know, closeness with you as opposed to with them. And then also it could be their personalities. Do they act more delicate you're the rebellious one. Want to hang outside with niggas? Yeah, I did, Like they're in the house like you know, so I don't know, but I see.

Yeah, yeah, that's just I mean, that's just what it was.

I don't like I said, they never threw, They never called me like black, because if anybody called me, you know, how to be like with your.

Black cells, like.

I don't know, to be sorry, Yes that was a black That was how I was like brought up in school and stuff. If you the dark girls, the dark girls were overlooked. It was like the light skin bitches that were very, very very popular. But there has beens now now the black girls are winning, like they wont to slip pink.

All the coaches is pink on black light.

Yeah, but that's on the inside.

So you know, do you.

All think some of it does stem from like the school time. Okay, so you got like the fine ass dudes. They are after the light skin girls and a lot of them. That's what we see now when niggas is buying bitches because they didn't have access to the light skin pretty girl you know, quote unquote in high schools. So now you get the check, and now you can add water, add money for instant swag, and now you

So I didn't really I was.

My focus was cheerleading and the nigga i'm with today, Marcus. I've been with him since I was fifteen, So I ran behind one guy, damned in my whole life. So I don't know, he was my main focus. I didn't care about nothing but cheerleading in Marcus. Cheerleading in Marcus, and he was pretty much the same as me, like the dark skinned one in his family. Like there were comments made about, oh, that's not my son because he's black.

So we pretty much can relate in that on that subject.

So so y'all had a trauma bond as kids based on much, Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, that's how it was because a lot of his family they're not dark like me and him, but they're more like aj like the caramel Tammy, the caramel color, not black like me and him. Look like we shared a feel together picking cott and that type of black. But no, but yeah, no, yeah, we can relate on, you know, being called the dark child.

I can't say, oh, that light skinned girl over there or that dark skinned girl over there. I'm like, oh, look at that pretty girl right there. And I got I hated to hear growing up. Oh she's pretty for a dark skinned girl. That grind my gears. Why can't she just be.

Because it's not color is your facial features, Because like you said, you can be light skin and fair complexed and not have nice features, right.

That just for me.

When I was growing up, I always considered myself dark skinned. But much like your dad, aj, I spent a lot of.

Time me too.

I was black as hell.

I was glad. I was black as hell as a kid, So I didn't even know like this is my color, my natural color until I got grown and stopped running out there in that swim like.

But I used to be black from the eyes up, like I was averigining. My oldest sister would be like, you look like a damn aborigine. My forehead used to be so black, y'all, and my skin just looked like dust. When I was a kid, it just looked like I haven't played in dirt all day.

But I wasn't.

It was just dirt all day.

The tone, like the little red undertone was trying to come up out of there. But it's just that something beat me up. And I mean, I feel like you're a little bit more healthy. The darker the skin is get all like the vitamin D.

Let me tell you something.

I ain't never seen a dark skinned girl crack, you know, like they say black don't crack and they meet and there's there's a spectrum for that because.

The darker you are, the TIGHTI your skin stay. I feel like you think. So you got absolutely okay.

I got one night I had since okay, and I got botox.

Bit you, I don't know what I got up on the hill y'all talk about.

I used to west Swop for years, and all of years are frowning and crying behind fucking niggas. One day I just started wearing my forehead out and I'm like, yo, I got rainkos.

Wow.

So the melanin do protect you from that sun? Sunscreen ain't nothing but liquid melon in as far as I'm concerned. If you put it under a black light, it'll you'll look black. So it's all it is is liquid melion.

Oh look, she's like interesting.

I never knew.

Yeah, I just I didn't hate that we black people are facing so much shit in America, in this world, because no matter the skin complexion, it's almost like we hated across the diaspora. Right, So then for us to be feuding amongst the different people of the different cultures in the diaspora, then amongst the different subgroups, like we are we doomed at this point. I feel I don't think that black people will ever be on the same accord collectively at this point, because we can't see past

You know?

I have a friend. We had our odds right now, so I ain't talk to that bitch and by the month or so, but hey, Lisa, I have a friend, right and she has a platform on social media and she does like does like spiritualism and stuff like that, and she is very, very smart. She's an intellectual, and it's almost like you cannot be light skin smart. Funny. The very first thing I always would see, because she would on Clubhouse is where I met her. She'd be running her rooms and I'll be just looking at like

So do you do you?

Do you feel like or do y'all feel like? Was the hate ever coming from lights lighter skinned women? Because I had one of my homegirls cut this light skinned girl hair in high school. So I would always see the darker skinned women attacking lighter skinned women physically, verbally,

Hmmm.

Yeah, you're right, You're absolutely right.

I can't remember a time where I felt like the light skinned girl was the aggressor with a dark, darker skinned woman, but they I have seen them be attacked by darker skinned women.

Yeah.

Why my friend, my biracial friend, she's like, you know, people I've seen when somebody tried her because oh, she mikes white people can't fight. You know, we already have the stereotype that we could beat they white.

People ask anyway.

But she is a certified beast with the hands. I'm like, where the fuck did you come from? Yeah, that nigga is in.

Why we ain't see and being able to whoop ass with niggas because I don't see niggas gotta beat up by white boys because they bite. Really, they do all the things to win the fucking fight. Okay, yes, absolutely.

Listen.

My boyfriend light skin and when I tell you he's a light skinned nigga, what what?

What?

Drake said?

Yeah, I'm light skinned, but I'm still a dark nigga. That's him.

Yes, I don't know why people do that because my best friend, she has a little boy. Of course, my best friend is like skin her. She has a child with my cousin. He's red, not even a dirty red, he's red. So they both have like a He looks biracial, but he's not. But coming along, he was a little badass. So he goes my boyfriend Marcus. I've never seen a bad red nigga before. What you a little bad red nigga. Red niggas supposed to be soft. I'm like, yeah, that's just something.

You know, Marcus Michael Jackson was bad when he was brown, when he was like.

It ain't nobody was whipping prints, okay, right.

A little ba Yeah, It's like wow, yeah, but that's what It's just.

I think it's what was embedded in us was also embedded in the white folks about well, what'sn't bettered about us?

About white people?

The same thing there were you know, oh those niggas, and we're looking at all those honkys. It's just like, I think it's a generational thing. Honestly, That's how I feel about the light skin the dark skins. It's just something that came from the older generation and it went over and over and over and over.

So that's, you know, when.

I think of white people honky.

I'm back, I grew up with honky because I'm from Holkes secretly loved black women in particular because that's actually where the term came from.

So if you think back to like the days where they had like the whorehouses and and and shit like that. So the white men who wanted to trick on the black women. They'd come past the building honked air horn, So then the pimp would probably be like, y'all are honky outside.

I never thought of that.

That's where the term honky comes from. Now, cracker comes from, cracking that fucking whip.

Wi.

Yeah, I think, and I think that's why we feel like we can fight.

Because we've been getting beats.

You got this motherfucker, you know. So I think that's why we feel like we can take a whoop.

Slavery ended because we was fucking they ass up. Okay, let them tell it, oh Lincoln it no, Okay, the the fucking Haitians came over here. We was fighting them crackers, Okay, that's why slavery.

Ended, fighting bad.

We was never laying down. And so there was some people because we see niggas laying down today, okay, but not not the majority of us, not collectively was. We wasn't having it. We was definitely fighting and dying.

Right, So let's talk about all right, And this is this is me being my ignorance, So y'all forgive me in advance.

Listeners too, don't come for me.

Oftentimes, when I see that there's a mixed race child or a mixed race girl, I'd be like, what color was your mama?

Oh, if the mama was white.

I view this person more as a white person versus a black person, And I don't know if that's I know, that's ignorant and it's probably not fair because.

We just saw that with the Drake and Kendrick, and that's where I was getting into.

I was getting to Drake and Kendrick Lamar and how Kendrick was like basically saying he's not black enough.

You know?

Is that a thing?

Do y'all feel like that's a real thing, you know, to call somebody not black enough because of how much who is black in the family and how black they are, you know.

Well, that's how it is.

What one of my close friends, her mom is white, her dad is black, But like I said, she fight like a man, So I'm thinking it's stemming from her black side. But then again, I heard stories that her mama used to whoop ass in Germany, So I'm like, damn, so your mama know how to throw hands, So yeah, the white side of her, I guess, in the black side of her, I think she just got it on it. So I don't know.

I don't know.

That's yeah, yeah, like your day to day right, so go ahead, go ahead.

I yeah, she's my friend is It's like she knows how to switch it up.

Like I could see when the family come around, there is gathering and she's like, hi are you when when I'm around, girl? What the yeah? What girl? What the fuck you doing? So I see both switch.

Yeah, we all yeah, we all had the code switch. She just might have to code switch in a different way.

I don't.

I am not that girl. You're gonna get the same lady every day all day. I'm just the same person. I can't switch it up because I feel like I'll be fake to myself.

I don't know why. I mean, I know how to be professional, but I'm just the same.

Yeah, I've never worked a corporate job and not like just maybe maybe by the month, and here it comes trouble haircut. You fucking right, because I am a nigga. I'm a real nigga when I out clock out, So piss me off in this office. I'm be on your ass in the garage. I swear to god, I had a nigga like I wanted him to pull up on his white bitch. I used to work with not I

Yeah, but what about But here's the thing. J Cole got napi as hell, right, and.

He just looks like a light skinning.

But but his mother is white.

But people don't give him, Yeah, he got a white mom, So I don't feel like people give him that same type of stamp that they give Drake for being white, even though they have pretty much similar genetic makeup when it comes to halfway, I think.

What it is is that Drake exploits the worst of black culture. Right Meanwhile J Cole is more like some people would call him a revolutionary or something like that. You know, some people I don't think that he really is on black struggle issues like that, Like he raps about it, but what is he actively doing in regards to it. So I feel like that is the difference between them. Like, Drake, you do not grow up in

Wow.

Really yes, like that is that those people are a part of our community. And I hate to even say those people.

Well, I hate I hope y'all aren't grabbing y'all kochie lives.

And that was wild.

I ain't like that when she that was too.

Much, that's too much. But she represents us culture of niggas that some of us be looking like at them like the same way maybe darker people would feel like light skinned people look at them. We do look at them like ugh, you know.

But it ain't got nothing to do with color.

It's definitely with class behavior sometimes class socialism.

And she's from Saint Louis. I lived in Saint Louis almost five years, and I could tell you it's no real racism in Saint Louis. It's definitely classism. Yes, it's like the rich niggas against the broke niggas, the white white people against you know, and it's a melting pot and white people, but there's Russians, there's Cambodians. It's like a melting pot of all these different cultures. And it's like do you have money or not? And who do

That sounds like the American way right there, though, Yeah, yeah, yes, Do you have anything to offer a young black girl who's listening to this episode in terms of self esteem?

Hmmm, a young black girl, I will say, let me speak back to my younger self.

Being like you, you were enough.

I feel like I wasn't at one point. I know now you were enough looking back at my younger self, like you did, what they say did not matter to you. I had a very low self esteem issue, like very very very low. And then I had to build that confidence within myself now within a man, now within what they say, he say, she say. It was just like

So I feel like, love who you are.

Don't don't let an image a lifestyle did take who you are as a person. Love every ounce of you and you will see how that would make you feel, you know, on the inside, make your heart feel so much open and pure. That's why I was like when I became an adult, I'm like, you know what, I'm tired of listening to what or looking on the internet, especially these girls that are so lost in image and lifestyle.

That's not me.

I want to love me first before I could let the world love me. I want to love me first before you know. I'm like, I can't. I can't keep living my life for other people. I want to love learn to love me therapy, you know, me reading and looking at real you know, spiritual reels. I'm learning to love me. And for a long time, I didn't love me. I didn't even know who I was. I didn't even

I love me, even that black even that black big toe.

Now, yes it ain't black, not you confirming.

What black toe.

No it's actually whir it's a white Yeah, I gotta white.

I ain't never seen that.

Answer to that, but no, yeah they're white, they're white. Yeah, but I love that too.

But you know, I feel like that's an experience, not you know, not only just for you. A lot of women struggle with self love, and you know, oftentimes we know it is in our late thirties and forties when we're starting to feel like, now I'm fully okay with me.

Yeah, I'm fully okay with who.

I am, and I'm I'm living in it and I'm walking it in. And once you start doing that, it exustes. People can tell, you know, people can see that, yes, when you're fully loving yourself. So that is good advice, not just to the Chocolate Sisters, but everybody listening to me.

I think that there are a lot of light skinned women who also have self esteem issues, a lot of and you know, and it might come through, you know, as promiscuity, you know, growing up things like that, them just letting anybody have back, and that's just all of us.

Right.

So this so this past Saturday, y'all was my birthday. Tell me, hey, birthday, and I turned I turned like three d. I turned four d right, and with my little post on social media, I put like this, like I'm hugging Lot Ashley with the Jerry curl, okay, because that was my insecurity growing up. I was chunky with a goddamn Jerry curl. My mom will not let me get that damn curl out my fucking head because you know, she had to work all day. So low maintenance Jerry curle,

Y'all sucking her thumb?

Why one year this nigga I went to high school with does light skinned nigga. Okay, wish me happy birthday, And I actually posted on my page because the shit was fucking hilarious. This is this is time people be watching you and want to bring you down a little notch. Right, So I think I'm lit in real life, you know. So he sends me an inbox message on Instagram. He was like, happy birthday, Ashley. You remember you had that Jerry Curl. That was it. That was a whole fucking message. HBD.

Okay, so I would have been like, thank you.

Remember you was in there, got a bunch of kids you can't take, came and work and the mother Department that out here Nigga that day.

So don't do that.

Yeah.

So everybody has their little things, man, their little things they have to work through to love themselves. And I and I do feel like maybe around thirty three about thirty three. I started, like I came out of the workforce for real, and I started. I never not fucked with me. You're right, but you just start. And maybe it started older because I think got moms like they start like maybe like fifty sixty, they'd be like fuck everybody. It starts early for us nowadays, like nah, fuck you.

When I see a bitches start getting sister locks, that's.

When I know they have uh accepted themself and the most foodess that they came.

I said, I'm not getting up till seventy.

I'm not getting their mothers like at all.

And they start treating people different, y'all, bitches with them sister locks, you're looking down at us like me ain't natural, Like like we ain't shit.

Right because I gotta weaving you better than right.

Five That was weavism.

That's a whole nother subsector bullshit. Within the culture.

We're still the same, bitch.

I just look like I'm going to a wedding every day, Okay, y'all ways, y'all gotta go somewhere to get made up.

Bitch.

We going to weddings every day, every day, every day.

Yo, They're gonna they're gonna argue that ship right there.

But y'all do look like I'm going to watch you throw at least front on top of that ship for the wedding, right, So, Teresa, now we ain't gonna let you slide.

We have a.

Segment on the show called dumb Bitch Story. Dumb bitch Stories, so because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice, okay, And it is not like to to ship on anybody, right because you might have gotten shipped on, but it doesn't make you a person. So I know you said you've been in this, this relationship of yours since you were a kid. But yep, so all your so anything that ever happened to you was always from this man.

We're gonna post this, so look at the camera.

Bit.

So we need a dumb ben story. Tell us about the time you got played in a relationship, situationship.

Play.

Oh my gosh, picking time around this nigga, though, Okay, if you get in trouble.

I mean, I gotta be careful.

There are plenty of I got played with moments with his ass, he cheered on me like crazy, How How could I say it?

So many?

So many you ain't gotta you ain't got a break story, A story from when y'all took a break.

I know y'all took a break.

Oh god, you know break though that nigga's like, yeah, you let that nigga play on your top.

Now you can't back over here.

He was running my dude, who's pretty much running two relationships at one time. I was the main bitch and he had a side check. I don't know if he made her feel like she was the main, but I was the main when she was the side or whatever whatever. But we both knew, and we both did not let him go being stupid. I'm twenty nineteen twenty. I mean, he's cheating on me, cheating on me, cheating on me.

He's outside, so he get arrested for whatever whatever whatever.

His mom was like, well, my son got five years, go ahead and just move on with your life.

I said, no, I'm not leaving him. I love him. I'm gonna wait on him. I waited one year. She came by.

She was like, look, go out do your thing. You didn't put that those drugs in my son's hand. He did that to himself. Go out find you a friend. Oh for ree yes, his mom, so she was just like, yeah, go ahead, get you a friend, got me a friend.

He was my best friend in Boom. I got pregnant by this man while my dude was in jail. So I'm finding my ex best friend at the time. Girl, I gotta get an abortion. Girl, I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant.

I went to my mo mom pregnant, but I gotta get abortion. Marc's gonna leave me. She was, oh, yeah, and when you do, you're no longer my child. You belong to God because they don't believe in abortions in my family. So I hid my pregnancy, hit it, hit it from marcus family. But marcus mom found out when I was five months. Sai, I'm gonna give you a month to tell him. I didn't tell him shit. They wind up telling him, you have an incoming call from an inmate from d D.

Yeah.

You mother fucking close it, bitch, you close it hole in all kind does that mean close it? Closet was a closet. I'm hide and I'm closet bitch, closet hole slut.

I'm crying.

I didn't know what to do, but he was outside and she allegedly the side chick got pregnant three four times. But I get pregnant for sure, and now I'm all kind of closet bitches and holes. But I don't know if that's a played moment or if I played him. But nigga, you y'all kept bringing up a baby in my face. I'm young, I'm hurt. You're telling me this girl's pregnant every other month. But boom, nigga got a real baby?

What's up? What's up this child? He does?

Granted, you know, my child's father was, like I said, was my best friend and I want to rest in peace.

He passed away December twenty twenty one, so I'm sorry.

Yeah, that that was the whole difference, and that's a whole different story.

But yeah, he passed away.

But my child, well, my boyfriend and my child saw him first when he came in this world.

Besides the doctors. He saw him first. He didn't even see me first.

So he's been calling him dad before he called his real dad dad. That's the only dad. Well that he that's the main dad that my child knows. He knows his real dad. They had a relationship, but that's the dad that he knows. So that's that was my story. I mean, you try to play with me with this girl you got. She got pregnant three or four times, but I got one big successful being on your damn head. I got a baby. Where your other kids at? She switched the number around, I got a baby.

Yeah. I try to be funny though, but what you like when your when your son's dad passed away? Like, did y'all see that video recently where the dude was on the couch because his girlfriend passed.

Yes, yes, yeh.

Came in there like wow, I was. I was thinking that, but I ain't want to ask it because.

I already know the story already.

He did not, Like I was in there crying in the garage when I find out my baby daddy died.

He called for work. I was like, what the fuck is you crying for?

You crying for the second.

Like it was my friend? He was.

Girl, Yeah, he was my friend first. But I think that was just the emotion.

Like you, that's your baby daddy, Like what Yeah, I was heart.

He was my best friend before we became my baby daddy. And that's why I think a lot of people miss like we known each other since we were six years old.

We grew up together. We were kids, so o k.

Beyond him being my baby daddy, he was my friend. Yeah, he was really really my friend. Yeah, Marcus ain't like that ship.

You want to go with you?

He told me, do you want to go label saw him?

I said, nigga, I might want to ride him one more time when I'm down there.

Oh yeah, it got deep. It got deep. Yea, it got deep.

But oh god, I'm telling your black bitches be hitting low.

Yeah.

Oh you know that's just man.

Yeah, that was the story of wild story. So yeah, you said you had a baby. I made a baby and successfull, we had one. Don't play with me, Teresa.

Plug all your things, plug all your businesses. Anything you want people where they want, where you want them to follow you, all your information.

Tell listeners Facebook.

My name is Teresa with Barry on Facebook, Instagram. My name is Lady T Underscore Braids and that's what a z at the end. Lady T Underscore Braids, y'all. She do some of the best braids in Columbia, South Carolina. If you need your hair braided, please check her out.

She is so good.

That's who I go to all the time for my braids, and she will squeeze me in and give me She'd be like, I'll give you celebrity treatment, but it'd be for the celebrity price.

It don't be cheat, y'all. So you better have.

Support the brand.

People, support the brand, Lady t Braids.

Thank you girls, Thank you people.

He'll appreciate you so much.

Greg, thank you for having me.

All Right, y'all, So if you enjoyed this episode, y'all, tune in every Thursday on the Black Effect podcast, iHeartRadio app or whatever you get your podcasts. That is your co host a j Holiday kick it Light Skin Tam, y'all. I love y'all, whether you're black or a light or white whatever, remember remember speak now and never hold or.

I don't know but we Talk back.

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