Dumb bitch stories because we've all been a dumb bitch at least once or twice. Okay, y'all, so listen. So dumb bitch story today comes from one of our Instagram friends, one of the friends of the show. Uh. It says, Hey, Tam, Baman and a J I love you ladies, by the way, I just want to hear from you both. I'm thirty and my boyfriend is thirty eight of three years. Have been in a stump, is what she says, and I
don't know what else to do. Lately he's been saying I can do more, but I don't know what more he wants. We live in New York, he has his own place, and I'm still home. Rent is just too expensive, hair and on my salary, I just can't afford rent and rental insurance. Been in a search for a new job where I can move out. Um. At my age, it's depressing still being home sometimes. I think that's a hurdle for us. In addition, I'm not the greatest cook,
but I'll do a few meals. A few meals. Um. We go out on dates and trips and have a good time when I When I do go to his house. I'll clean up, I'll cook um what I can and experiment, but I just don't know what else or more to do. Looking for some advice from you ladies. Um, sex is good, but that's not enough to keep a man. This is what she says. So I made like a couple of suggestions to her after I asked her, like, have y'all have y'all talked about moving in together? You know? So
what do y'all think about her situation? Um? First of all, I think she needs to figure out what she wants out of life separate from this relationship. I get the sense it's like, hey, I need to do more, but what is that more? I want to please this man, But what is that more for you? Sis? You see what I'm saying. Um, when you get that, he may not even be the man for you, he may man for you a or be he'll see that, he'd be like, oh no, she ain't. Because no one wants to be
like do this, do this? Do that? I need to do you know directions you know, uh, to the to their partner. They kind of want to see their partner do it. It's sexier when they're doing it on their you know, doing it for themselves. So that would be my first thing is like, sis, Okay, what do you want out of out of life? For you? You want to be out of your parents house. It sounds like, um, how are you going to get there? And what you know? What?
What ways? And focus on that and take the man out, um, not to say dump him, but take you know that part outright? Yeah? I agree, focus on yourself and girl, it's all kind of YouTube videos, free free McDonald got a cookbook you can learn how to cook. Like that's if you can read, you can cook. That's how I feel. Just got forth the effort. But my also another suggestion. She's thirty. She says she's thirty and he's thirty eight, so they may be on a little bit different life cycle.
And living in New York is extremely expensive, so I can understand her living at home. But that's why I asked her, maybe I'll can move in together. But it doesn't sound like that's what he wants. Yeah, And that's why it's important for her to, like you said, a doctumental house for her to focus on her own aspirations and your own goals, and then you might be able to afford the things you want for yourself without that man, and then maybe he will want to move in with you.
But the thing is, don't y'all think this life has built off of double occupancy. It's not meant for just one person to be by themselves struggling trying to figure it out. You know what I'm saying. It's always easier with two people. So she should she shouldn't have to be over here and by herself trying to figure it out. When she's in a relationship with somebody, they can can they not try to figure stuff out together? I get
what you're saying. I think financially that makes sense, right, That's what I'm talking to New York most people I know who live in New York exactly, you know what. So financially I get that, But I think, and again, we don't know this man's part. Maybe he's you're typically saying, he wants more from her, He wants more ambitions or something. You see what I'm saying, and that your man can't give you exactly, no man or woman should give you that.
You need to get that from within, from within. Yeah, And so if she again we're assuming a lot of things, But if she doesn't have that, then that may be the piece that he's really trying to own in and maybe that's why he ain't trying to have a move right, Okay, And he can't he can't really articulate it. Are you
looking for somebody to take care of? Right? Because we do ask men to be honest, but if they're honest, a lot of times I feel it's like, get hurt me while we'll be telling them whatever the hell we feel like saying to them, but you don't, don't be honest? Kay, thank you. Yeah. The other thing is maybe I was gonna say he needs, you know, he needs to be blunt and say this is you know what I need? You know, I need you to be more proactive. I need you to cook. Maybe it's just a cooking. I
don't know. Maybe he wants more sex, who knows, but you know, if she can clarify, she said she doesn't know what more is, and I feel like instead of asking us, she needs to ask him what more is? What more? It looks like him basically because we we you pretty mu say what more is? Dr Morehouse Millhouse? Are you pretty much said what? She needs to figure out her thing? Yeah? But then she needs to figure out what morris for her, you know, but not not
our opinion, not his opinion, but her own opinion. What more is you know? Yeah, I will say this. I'm married. I've been married for ten years, and that like doesn't just because when you get married it's not like who now we understand each other and you know it's no um. And so I feel like too, I've had this conversation with my husband, like We've sat down and he's like, I need more from you and and I've said, okay, um, you know what what is it that you need directly? Um?
And he's like, I need you to be more physically you know, I need you to you know, have more me time with me, and you know, more physical. He's very physical. I'm very like not physical, Um, you know, touchy feely. I need you too, Yes, exactly. So, UM, I think that it's not a bad idea to ask for clarification and this is going I mean again, married now ten years. This is important that we continue to do this um and and and talk once they check in. Yeah,
it's like a relationship check up. Oh yes, important. You need that because if you think your marriage is gonna be on autopilot I got used, uh no, yeah, m hm