Black Dads Club

Speaks to the planet.

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We talk back where we encourage you to hustle, hard, laugh, letter and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about to go down.

What's talk talk?

You're just too apologetically black women with an opinion?

Who talks back?

What's up, y'all?

It's your girl, a j holiday. What's up, Tam Damn?

What's up girl? How you doing?

I'm good, Hey, y'all.

I love y'all. Once again, thank y'all for tuning in. I missed y'all.

Hey, how was your little streak girl?

You got your new little streak girl?

You know, I had to put a little blonde in there because I was feeling like having fun and they say blondes have more fun, and I'm out and I've been outside.

In New York having with them Brooklyn cats.

Now, I mean I've been hanging out with some queens niggas in Brooklyn. Oh, it's a Brooklyn niggas. Shout out to my homegirl, Tina. Tina came outside last night.

Tina.

Uh, you was liting this weekend. Girvanta, Oh uh, Gravonta had a fight. But we're gonna talk about in a minute. Let's talk about your weekend.

What'd you do?

My weekend was great.

I told you I was going to Miami this weekend, so I did attend the premiere for July seven is the name of the movie, and it was really good. It's it's about the Haitian assassination of the Haitian president. So, I mean, I know the story when when when the president was actually assassinated, I did a whole went down a super rabbit hole, see what the fuck was going on?

That's five though, But it.

Just wasn't enough. And I'm keep it my fucking dress because it sold out.

Online and you're gonna get that other fire I am.

They could at least put at a little lastic down at the leg part that's where it was tight at because they had.

Like the little train. Yeah, I would have been just sitting there uncomfortable in the little.

As that you wore. You should posted a picture on your page.

Yeah, and shout up to my homegirl, Dorothy Robinson. Okay, she was in her big executive producer bag on this show. This is the first time I saw my Saint Louis friends chih this weekend since I left Saint Louis in twenty fifteen.

That had a good time that we did the casinos.

Lost three hundred, two hundred and thirty dollars in the casino on the slot machine in ten minutes, and I'm still regretting that today because I could have bought some stock options with them two hundred and thirty dollars and slipped it right quick. I got having a good time. Yeah, I just been all over New York eating. I ain't gonna never love no weight like this.

Don't say never bit.

Eating like this.

I won't.

But I had trainy food for the first time.

Trinidaddyans is that how you said, Trinidadian's shout out to them that food. I had this thing called a shrimp and goat doubles. My god, it's called doubles, and it's like this joey No, it's kind of like this doe kind of it tastes like some doe bread that you would get from the fair, or something like a peta.

The dumb Lades, Oh, like festival like from Jamaica or like it.

Kind of tastes. Yeah, it kind of tastes like that.

A little bit had like chickpeas and all kinds of stuff on the inside, and then you choose your topic.

Oh my god, it was so good.

Patty kind kinda kind of it would give something like that, right, but it was so good. I had that from this restaurant called Triny City, and queen shout out to Treney City. I will be back. Yes, I just been eating and then I went to this bar call.

Charm Bar.

Went there last night, so I'm just hanging out a little bit. Yeah, it's a nice little bar. Is A lot of these places in New York are real tiny, you know. It's not a lot of spaces easy. Yeah, but it was a cool vibe. It was so cold, like twenty something degrees last night, so it was for a reason.

But anytime I get a reason to pull out a fur coat, I'm gonna do it. So I do it.

That's the only place you're gonna pull that for a coat out anyway.

Yeah, no, I would pull it out in Charlotte if it gets below if there's a three in front of the temperature, I'm wanna pull out a fur coat.

You remember Vlad right, yeah? Yeah, did you?

He asked me to do some hosting there, so we're supposed to have a conversation about me doing a little hosting that Dia.

Yeah, I want to go there.

And he's telling me to come to New York and go and I'm like, I am just not a New York girl. And it has to be warm outside. I'll definitely come in April or May. I cannot do the cold New York hole. And they was talking about some arctic weather last week.

Who yeah, that's what now. Yeah. But other than that, it's cool. Let's get in the sands.

Let's talk about Girvanta, because that happened over the weekend two here in New York at the Barclays Center. There was a big fight and Givanta what's his name, Davis?

Yeah, he took a knee during the fight. He took a knee during the fight.

And did you watch the fight?

I missed it because by the end of the the premiretive fight was over.

I did not watch the fight. I was so on Saturday.

I was in Charlotte.

I got back to New York on Sunday morning, so I missed it. I was trying to get back in time, but I had to handle business, so I couldn't get back, so I did not watch it. But I saw the cliff on the shade room at the end where he was like his hair. Grease had come down into his eyes and that's why he took a knee.

Thank you.

Voluntarily took a knee midway through this fight.

It was not ruled a knockdown.

What happened to me, I just got my had done two days ago, and she picked grease in my ship.

So the ship was like you know, like when you sweating and things like that, and the grease come in my face.

It burnt my eyes.

Shit, Now, why y'all boring like I'm saying bullshit.

Like that nigga got knocked down.

That nigga ain't take no me hurt it.

I got hit.

That nigga got to cut it out.

Now he stopped his nigga was hurting right. But it was a draw, So they're gonna fight again. So the next one, I want to go to Yeah.

So I saw that the hairstylace came out. It was like, boy, that's some bullshit. I did your hair on Wednesday. It's Saturday. Ain't no excuse for me to be slipping sliding in the ring. He got knocked on his knees a little bit, you know.

He the guy who he fought.

They apparently grew up together. They probably grew up sparring, so they they if anybody knows his techniques, is this nigga?

Yeah, it's not, it's not.

He didn't even get knocked on his mond. He took a knee. You can see he took a knee, you know, like Paul's hold on Paul's Wait a minute, Yeah.

Let me gather because I just got hit hard.

Yeah, yeah, let me gather. That's what really happened. He had to gather his thoughts. Yeah, he tried to say face with their hairstyle.

Ship.

But so it's gonna it's a draw.

They're gonna to do another fight and get that check at period mad at it.

No, not that they're gonna go back to Vegas, because it was in New York this time. Maybe they'll know.

I said, they're gonna get that check but Vegas runs all sports, That's what I mean.

Oh you got that check out of Vegas. Yeah yeah, m hm.

And so I wonder how that works because when is it a draw, does everybody get paid or does nobody pay out? I think everybody gets paid out.

They still gotta make I mean, get money for doing putting the show on because people still bought tickets. So I don't know if they maybe get a lesser amount. I don't know how that works. Mmmm mmm, maybe they just finessed. They finessed the plug right quick. Saturday girl, So Jennifer, Jennifer Williams, y'all remember Jennifer Williams from Basketball Wives. This girl just got married to this nigga, Christian Gold. Okay,

A hood.

The susu, A susu, susue blessing, a blessing ring.

That's what they call it in the church, but on the streets they call it a susu some bullshit.

But this is lose.

Yeah, the people who usually come in on the back end are usually the ones that's gonna lose. If you started it, you're gonna get paid first, but you're getting paid from the people at the bottom, the people you bring in, you know.

So the only way is that it only works is if it keeps going forever. But it don't. As soon as it stopped, somebody's gonna take a l exactly.

So they say he took money from one hundred and fifty victims from around the country. This is her second sad scammer that we know of that has you know, sweetye pie. What's the dude she was engaged to. He's in prison now for life, I believe for having his nephew murdered. Mm hmm, f insurance fraud. She just yeah, I believe so, or maybe they just they were dating for a while. She got scammed by him too, I believe. So is she a part of the scams or you

I ain't got no judge of Jerry for Jennifer because I listen. It's so so hard out here. I hear so many stories of women dating people who they thought they were somebody and they turned out there was somebody else. So I don't know, you know, she might just be getting finissed.

Do you think googling is now a part of dating, Like when you meet somebody like you start googling them to see who they are, like what you can find on them.

Absolutely, I think that should be a part of the process.

I'm not gonna tell you I googled your ass, but I'm already know a lot of shit about you.

I have some friends.

Who will be dating these people that they say are celebrities or this person was drafted this place and that, and I'm googling them, and I'm like, that nigga never played in the NFL. The nigga never did none of the things that my friend is telling me he's doing. And I just don't say nothing. I just wait right figure it out, because it's like you haven't done your due diligence. You just going off of what this nigga is telling you.

I'm not daging my place. On several occasions, girl.

I saw this because if I took the time to look it up, I'm gonna take the time to tell you, bitch, look, look what did this say.

Let's say he is.

No because people might call you a hater, you know what I'm saying. But and it has to be something that the person says right. That kind of triggers me even to do this like that don't even sound right? Why it sound right to her?

You know what I'm saying.

So if it sounds right to her, I don't want to be.

The one to burst the bubble. I'll just let her find out on her own. And I'm saying her, but it's actually plural.

Well, I guess it depends on them because you have to be careful with telling people about their relationship.

You really do. So it just depends on how close I am to this person.

Yeah, and see that's what I was saying on that clip I saw with Jennifer Williams. She was very defensive when her girlfriends was trying to, like, you know, making sure she's making the best decision for her. Like I guess she felt like none of them were really in a position to question her about her relationship when all of them that like kind of fucked up relationships, but none of them landed them in jail.

But you know what, I think Jennifer Williams, based on how she presented on the show, would lead people to believe that she is a woman who likes the finer

But just say you like scammers so your friends can shut the fuck up. Like I like white collar crime a little bit like I like.

I don't don't believe do these things?

Those are smart men, Like who could figure out how to get a million dollars.

Off the computer? Like yeah, I don't think, not saying let's do it.

But I don't think she likes scammers.

I think she likes being spoiled, and samers can spoil in a way that the average American is not.

You know, what was.

That that popped the balloon?

Did you see that video with a pop the balloon video where it was a doctor and then this guy with all the big jewelry on who be hopping off the low ass fucking jet not even no real private plane he'd be on like helicopters and ship hopping off. But he basically was like how much money you make? The doctor is like, we're not about to like compare my my my money to your illegal money, like fads, We're all at.

His money is illegal. That's a stereotype too. We don't know that he might just be flashy.

I don't think so. No, he looks like can scammers have a look?

You know? Yeah?

But I mean I know, uh, doctors who were chain when they off work, you.

Know, big ones like big name plates and.

The spikes on them.

They at heart, but they got an education.

I don't know know who doctors, I'm honest. No, No, they don't know nigga. Mm hmmm.

Yeah, well they are. They're some out there that are really hood. You don't know any professionals that are super hood, but they're professional.

Yeah me, good body.

But yeah, Jennifer, we hope you find love that last without.

Court and having to send canteen money and all that ship.

Yeah, man, we hope that.

I hope that for everybody listening. Honestly, I don't think they're actually married yet. If they're if they aren't married yet, she might want to slow.

Down on that thirty one. He's young too.

No, they married.

Last caught him in Europe on Jennifer's ig account. He had to serve time in the cal County jail, but ultimately was allowed to leave the country for their wedding in Paris, France. So yeah, he's on probation, still scamming people, and they did get married.

Now, Jennifer, I don't know, baby, sound like sounds like you might be in on the heist.

But we still love you either way, all right.

So AJ sent me this video over the Weekend where this podcaster was asked, if you're spousing your child getting knocked off a boat in the middle of the ocean and they are incapacitated, you can only save one and the other will not make it. Who will you save? And this uh woman she chose to save her husband over the child. She said, you know that would be a hard decision, and she would be upset about it, and it would be devastating, and she would grieve the child.

Think that's the only part of the decision.

I respected that she stayed firmanent and if she said if anybody asked her about it, she was like, yeah, I chose my husband. I don't know why anybody would ask that, you know, unless you told them, hey, I let my kid drown. But I just don't see somebody like in the midst of that actually happening, Like a mom, you carry.

This baby, you birthed this baby.

There's a bond that a mother and a child has that a man and a woman probably would never have, you know what I'm saying. I don't think men bond with their children as much as women do. So I can't imagine, like actually being in it and outside of a podcast sofa, that you would be in the middle of the ocean and you see your husband, this big ass man, right, and your baby that you can easily save, right, your child, a small child. I just don't see you

And I don't even think she's a mom.

I think it, well, we ain't moms, but you know, but.

I have this now, some people are moms with without kids.

I think it sounds in her head because she has maybe she has a man that she loves and she already knows that love, and she don't know a love for this imaginary child. So if the answer was easy in her head, but I think in the thick of it, she probably would choose her child. Almost I would choose anybody's child.

Honestly.

If I saw a baby, said yeah, I saw like my instinct would be to save this little helpless human just instantly.

I don't know. Wow.

So a man sent me that.

A man sent that to me, and his message with the video was, uh, I want that and a wife. He basically saying that's what he would want his wife to do, like he would want his wife to think like this woman. And I said, absolutely not. I said, I feel like she's pandering to men. And I said, I'm not a mam yet, but I'm saving kids before any adult. If I see a kid drowning and it's like some adults in trouble too, I'm gonna go save the kids. I think that most adults would probably just

Just save save your kid.

Yeah. I'm just trying to think.

Like if I was in the ocean and it was like, uh, somebody's baby, I don't know this, Uh, like a seven year old little white boy drowning over on one side and my sister next to me drowning.

Who would I save? I don't know. I might say my sister. I don't know, I don't know.

My instinct would be to grab my sister. I think it might be to grab my sister before this stranger's kid. If we're like, honestly, if I'm being quite honest, in that scenario, would I think to go over and say this child that I don't know versus my sister right next to me. My instinct with all the because I love her, you know, I.

Have a connection with her, and that's what I'm saying about the child, So I would understand that in that moment. But we add in all these we keep pushing the envelope with the.

Changing because I'm like, of course I'm going for my sister.

Yeah, because I said any child, it would be to save any child first, But that's not true.

Depending on what.

Okay, I'll save any child depending on what adult was out there. If it's my mama and the child, then you had a child might have to die if I don't know the kid, right, but we're talking about your own kid.

Yeah, that pushed out of your vagina.

Yeah, but now they have that conversation about, uh, who gets to eat first at the table, and people will be like, oh, my husband, my man eats before the kids.

That's how I agree, that's how I yeah, that's how I steak plate before us first.

Everybody this. And it is only a couple of moments that you're gonna wait on your plate.

You know.

It's not like he gets to eat and y'all gonna eat tomorrow. No, we're eating all together.

He just is surf first, because this is he's the king.

Of this castle right here, and he bought the steak, and he provides, and he provides, right. So, but some people be like, why wouldn't you feed your kids first? They need sustenance.

Because they ain't fucking drowning and they ain't in here, and they ain't they gonna die in five minutes me feeding their father first, you know what I'm saying. I don't even understand why that's even a discussion. It's like black people be making up the weirdest ass scenarios to kind of pin women and men against.

Each other, Like why is that even a discussion? Whatever y'all do in y'all house, like your husband might make a plate for the kids first. You know what I'm saying. It's not that he doesn't think his wife should eat first, you know.

But you niggas who'll be doing that boyfriend, the broke boyfriend hug standing behind the girl while she at the grocery store pulling out her debit card. You the niggas who'll be screaming, y'all want y'all plate before the churn, Ain't it?

That's so funny because I.

Will, I told y'all, went to that spot Triney City. He came and picked me up in the airport, right, so I was like, I'll treat you know, I got it. It was nineteen dollars for both of our food, and when I was paying for it, he's stood behind me and held out to.

I just saw a post about it. That's why it was on the tip of my brain. It was like an Asian guy talked about He was like, it's this trend on social media, like they got all these visual images of man's and they all look straggling setting behind

You think you're tall, right, you just got a little doubles. I got.

That's it.

I was about to say, speaking of oh no, we gotta I meant to mention Angie Stone passed away over the weekend. Yeah, yeah, that ship was so you know what, You just gotta be grateful for every day, tell people you love them, and counter your blessings because you never know. There is a uh invisible clock on all of us.

I thought I saw like a video on it recently. It probably popped back up because of her passing. But I saw that a while ago on Instagram about the group the sequence.

Yeah, but they don't their birthdays, the ages. Yeah, they never got the recognition that they deserved. So that's crazy to find out that that was part. She's a hip hop historian and a hip hop legend, and I didn't know that because when I think of Angie stone I think of black Brother, Strong Brother. I was listening to it in the shower.

We Love Rest in Peace in South Carolina.

I love Angie Stone Man.

That was so like when I see stuff like that, I'm like, damn man, Like you really don't know your time. That's why every day, from the time my feet hit the floor, I'm saying thank.

You, gratitude, thank you, the attitude, thank you. Every moment.

I say thank you at lista the times a day. If it's not to a person, it's to myself all day long.

Just be grateful, be thankful, getting up having another chance to do all the things.

And be kind, especially if y'all from New York listening to this, are y'all okay?

Here are you niggas well?

Why? Why are you smiling? I was like, I'm happy.

He got in an argument with a nigga on clubhouse once because I said, I'm from the South. Like when I see when I see black people, especially I say hi, I want them to know I recognized and acknowledge them. I see you, hi, man or woman? Why do what the fuck you just talking to strangers? Just talking to like, y'all cold, that's the problem, y'all. Nigga's cold with no colt. Why y'all so mad up there that y'all don't speak to each other?

Yeah, be kind? And then they was like, stop peaking speaking to people. It's dangerous. I know. I'm just gonna be myself. I'm covered in the blood of Jesus. I'm pretecting.

I don't never worry about it, and I'm not going to carry that energy. I'm gonna be who I am everywhere I go, and who I am is polite and kind to people. I like to say hi, I like to smile. I'm joyous. So except on that train, though, I adopt I I ain't looking at nobody, smiling at nobody on that motherfucker.

I'll be looking at my phone just like everybody else. Scared this mother fuck on that three train.

You better carry a knife like you in London.

I had a pistol up there, baby. That man on that first ride on that train, that man stood over me talking about.

I can balance your chokras wall a dollar seventy five cents right now?

Got please? Y'all ever noticed this voice can me be putting on that ship?

Is fucking crazy? Man?

Why everybody can't possibly have that same voice? Nigga?

Who we got on to day? Girl?

We have the Black Dads podcasts right.

Yes, absolutely talking fatherhood and.

Love, amazing black men, Okay, and you.

Know divorce one still married.

I feel like, you know, their podcast is very necessary. I wish they would do more than just a podcast.

With it.

I suggested, we need to do more than just a podcast with it. Well what they should with our ship? No, but I mean like they can really like they can really do some ship with black dads, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, we could do some ship with bitches.

We talk back, Hey, hey, hey, hey, talk back.

We're gonna have a whole conference with a bunch of bitches who be talking back ins and whoever.

Knowstens or not just bitches, it's men who also enjoyed the conversation.

Yeah, so I think they need to do like a little nonprofit something, just do like a golf day with the dads something like that. They were that shit is lit. I love uh, I love the Black Dads Podcast.

Okay, I'm here for it too.

So y'all stay tuned. We got them coming up.

Welcome to we talk Back where we have conversations that matter apparently. Okay, so today we're diving into the topic of black fatherhood. It's a subject full of love, responsibility, and unfortunately a lot of stereotypes. Okay, So we have the Black Dad's Club podcast here and Charlotte and we talked back today.

Thank you for having us.

Happy to be here.

Introduce yourself, sir, our audience always I guess, introduce yourself, audience.

My name is Gavin B. I'm from Charlotte. I'm a photographer. I'm a dad. My boy dad. He whipping my ass every day.

Your son three three?

You got a new baby?

What about you?

I am pastor Mike Will. I am also a father, gav a longtime friend.

I guess I call that.

Oh gosh, I did you say pastor will past the will past the mic or pastor.

My past I have a congregation.

Okay, so you're a holy man, Yes I am.

Yeah, what are you?

Yeah?

Who are you?

Where are you?

Kind of get My congregation is all the productive black men that.

Exists out there.

That is, you know, you have a church.

That's my that's my church. The podcast is his church podcast.

Okay, so you're not. You don't need around you that's all, you know, like because if you were fastor you know, I will.

You could talk that way around pastor though you.

Know, you know I have to have like from Atlanta. Yes, I'm not going to say that.

I'm just gonna you.

Know, no, no, no, I'm like, I'm not like a real church pastor. Believe that I do not have a church. Do not show up anywhere on Sunday.

Looking for me?

So are you a Samulite Samular?

What's that say?

More Sammy recipes to Kevin?

Oh no, obviously not, because yeah I didn't. I didn't know what that was, but I did, like I did like his clips he is he has missed. I missed him. I missed him on YouTube, like I miss all them clips. They'll be funny, they'd be funny Meyer you no, no, so I hear.

Here's that. I know all these guys, right, Okay, I know of all these just making sure.

But I'm not I'm not red pill. Okay, right, I'm not red pill. Now I'm also not a cook. So it's you know, I'm right there in the middle. As I always say on the pod, everybody gets all their credit.

Okay, you're using a lot of words. I do not know a cook.

I know you've seen that that that never heard of on the pornhub.

I don't.

It's like a white man next to the dick and is going and his wife isn't that like that?

That's part of that part of the pornole doesn't exist in Charlotte, right, Or it's she ain't got.

A VP and it's cool though it shtill get the ex videos.

Now you can get on pornhum.

You just need yeah, tell me later.

So how do you guys know each other?

You want the truth?

Yeah, go ahead and tell the truth.

The truth is Mike new My mom knew Mike before he was born. My mom is like fifteen years older than Mike, so it's through church and so she knew Mike. So Mike knew me before I was born. But we didn't get close to I don't know. I told you it's alone.

We all grew up together, mama before you was born.

Yes, my mom was at a church, so Mike was born, so I.

Knew gay parents, like gay Dady to shoot ball, I did a little young dude that to get on the court. So I remember Gav being a little two old running around basically, but we met because him and my brother is the same age, so they are really good friends.

Okay, so double a.

He was like, you gotta meet my brother and I was like, all right, whatever, we'll see how this goes.

You did explain that good, because I was about to say, are you.

And his dad?

How long do you think I am?

I don't know, but it was the way I described it was like, Mike, no, my mama, yeah, fifteen.

Years older than you too, is yeah, I'm thirty five, Well he's years yeah, so yeah, okay, but yeah, that's how we know it through church, and but we just been It's funny though, because I get to always say like I was a baby, didn't know Mike existed, but he knew I existed. And then his brother was like, yo, I want you to meet my brother and we've been rocking every since. That had to be like oh nine something like that.

Nice.

Yeah, y'all was I think like when y'all turned like twenty one, I started bringing you boys out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So how did y'all come up with the podcast question? Which I think is very very.

Need Well, well, I mean we we started out so Gaff Gaff had a podcast and like Gavin, my brother had a podcast. He's like, oh, you should come on, you come on, come on, right, Gavin is an early adopter the podcast. So finally we had one, and we just had really good chemistry on the podcast. So we started a podcast. Yeah, it sucked, trash, but it taught

So we took the time off and it just so happened.

He ended up becoming a father and I was just like, huh, I wanted this U Ril is available and it was and I was just like, what do you think about this? Same it was going through names and then he was like that's the one. And then after that we pivoted. So it's kind of cool because we're able to track, you know, where we've been through the birth of his son, because that's literally when it changed.

Yeah, cause I came back. So I took like three months off of photography podcasting, and we love to tell people now like I literally told my wife, I'm like, Yo, when I get back, I'm just telling like this this ship is done, Like I'm done, I'm out. And so we.

Got his wife he did tell me it was done.

Yeah, and then when we got back that shit was so bad and so but the funny part when got back, he was like his first question on the pot was like, Yo, how's life being, And I go, it's so much shit. Y'all did not tell me about being a dad, Like this is crazy, And so we went through that and then there was the response was just super cool and like he said, he looked up the name. He was like, Yo, let's do this every every week now. And so now

It's something that men talk some things that men talk about being a barber shop.

So what's some things that black men care about?

Sports? Okay, women women, but that's low on the list. It's I think women think we high high on the list of coming in there talking about women. But that'll be like we usually you going to you're gonna argue about sports for like the whole time you there.

Sports and then like you know how you view things right, Like, so men have a lot of life conversations. Yeah, like I don't think like no time, we probably don't have a life conversation just if we're shooting basketball. But like if men are just sitting around, it's like, man, let me tell you what I'm dealing with. You know, men, men have those conversations. It's just that men don't judge one another, so we'll.

Listen to it. And definitely, no, no, we really really don't because it's like.

Y'all need to judge each other. Though.

If a man does not ask for advice, we listen. We listen. There you go, you know, he says.

That if you have a guy that comes to you and says like, man, I really don't give a fuck about them kids. Man, I don't be over there. Man that my baby mama get on my fucking nerves. Man, she drives me crazy. I ain't going over there.

That conversation doesn't happen after what college sophomore year. At college, men separate, men self segregate from dudes who ain't ship and like men who are gonna be productive. So it's hard to it's hard to have that kind of conversation with the man unless you related to him, because we really don't see one another.

We're not in the same place together. Yeah, just not.

We don't even be at the same barbershop.

No, we don't.

You got no futures in y'all circle.

No, I have a cousin that went kind of ham but it was like literally a cousin. And to that point, though, like he and I stopped hanging out like mid twenties, like we grew up together, probably mid twenties. Just like man, our lives are heading in two different trajectory.

Just this and.

Gibody curiously through future.

Absolutely good guy.

So you said that there were things that you know, nobody told you. What are myths about black fathers that like that people would believe?

But that's not true.

Oh myths? Oh, I thought you was gonna ask something else. Yo, it has to be that we really are active. Like every dad that I know, even the dads who do not spend enough time with their kids. Right, every dad I know love their kids. I really don't run into people like yof them kids like we'll come together and say, Yo, my kid get on my nerves. I gotta do this like my boys three. So it's only but so much nerves he can get on because he's learned. Like one thing,

Like the whole talking about On our recent episode, we talked about how black men like to say that women black women are having babies by the ten percent of men. So these same men have multiple, multiple fertility partners.

Yeah, and so that's the stat and so it's funny. But everybody I know, you know, Mike, talk about separating, like y'all, I only hang around dads that's like full time fathers. I don't hang around dads who not with their kids like it just and it's just the reason why is because I know it's going to make you feel bad when you come around and my kid is

Who's gonna talk?

Absolutely, And the girl was like, yo, because I have a meeting with a model. And she was just like, I guess it's gonna be my birth control for this week. I'm like, yeah, because he gonna talk.

So yeah, I had an article and I'm sitting there trying to find No, the article is actually speaking to what you're saying that it is a myth that black men aren't present in the kids lives because what they're looking at is the single mom statistic, like the unweed moms. So the black men may not be married, but they are actively in their children's lives more than uh their you know, white town of Parts or Hispanics.

It's not even close. It's not even close. I mean, and we should be married. But I mean that's a culture issue, right, that's a different conversation. I'm like, why that's not happening.

But yeah, men men are very active.

Like even when when I you know, listen to a lady that say, okay, i'm a single mom, and you be.

Like, you're a mom that's single.

You're not a single mom that that kid can go to their father see their father whenever they want.

And a lot of what goes on, you know, is leverage play. You know.

It's like, Yo, if you wanted more help, you could ask for more help, right, But if you don't ask for more help, most of the time it's going to be what's court order. But you can always like you have another parent there, you can always ask for help for another parent.

Who else? Who else are you supposed to ask for help from?

Yeah, But sometimes that's not the case. Sometimes I know women who need more help and just can't get more help.

And then I also know women not personally, but like through the men or through the other women in the relationships having to deal with that woman and how hard she's making it for him the parent.

You know what I'm saying, Like, girl, you do not want to be around your kid that much.

Damn child, That's what And that's what I say.

I always tell them, like, yo, everybody else, get some time getting like you. Women need that time away from their children. I hate when I don't see it. Like one of the first things that I noticed, I'm divorced, So one of the first things that I noticed is that once we got our custody order, in place. Is is how tired I was when I dropped my kid off and also when I would pick my kid up, how tired she was. Right, So that made sure that I was like, Yo, I can't I can't miss a week,

Well that's called empathy, you know, and people's.

Emotional intelligence to actually consider how somebody else is feeling.

Yeah.

Absolutely, But it came from the love for my child though, right, you know what I'm saying, Like we was deefing at the time. We were not friends, let's be clear, right, But it was like, Yo, if she's tired though, right, Like, how is that playing out in my child?

You know what I'm saying.

So it was like, you know, we just got finished, so I already know how she is, right, you know. So it was like, yo, let me, let me let me take that from you. I think a lot of men don't understand that because I think there is.

This image of this.

You know, I'm a strong black woman, right, and I got it and it's easy to believe that if you've never really had a conversation, or if you're not surrounded by women that you care about, not women that you know, right, women that you care about. So when when they're suffering, you're like, man, I wish I could do something, but I can't. Right, But when you can do something, you will see, Okay, see.

Do you think that?

I think a lot of No, do you think? Let me ask pull it as a question. I remember seeing his video recently with this guy he had his I guess the kid's grandma dropped the kids off to him and he's speeding down the highway driving and the kid. This is a real video. I thought it was faking to the little girl started crying, but she really really. She wasn't showing her face or the dad's face. The phone was like just hidden in the car kind of. But then she put the phone in her face. You

To drop you all ass off.

I'm dropping y'all back. She was like, but we're hungry. We've been with you since one o'clock.

We haven't ate.

He was like, I don't got no money for y'all, got money for food for me? This is how he's yelling. And then no man who can actually provide whatever say that. So it's just he can't provide, and he's blaming the children, and he's blaming the mom.

Yeah, you can't figure it out.

That's terrible. How many kids? Was it?

Two kids?

Two kids?

Two kids?

All right?

So I mean that One of the things that I've noticed is that a lot of times when I see a complaint about a ain't ship that.

Sorry, we ain't cursing.

That's right.

I'm a guest here.

One of the things that I that I that I always noticed is most of the time it is multiple kids, if not multiple baby mamas, and like that should be like an automatic red flag to any woman if you meet a guy, I don't care what he looks, like, how much money has, if he has multiple kids that he's not with his children mom, or if he has most run baby mamas, like, this is not the man to date.

Earlier, I was saying, is it something subconsciously about a man like that that's appealing to a woman.

We don't.

It's not in front of you got to tell me.

Know, you know what I'm saying, As much as I would like a man who to have who doesn't have kids?

A lot of men have kids, right, Well, but.

I'm saying like, like when this same situation where it's a lot, right, like a man has four or five kids, Like, bro, why aren't.

You with one of those ones?

Exactly?

You know what I'm saying, Like that should be obvious, right, you know, God had with.

A man recently, Like, listen, you got to pick a household to be in.

You can't have all these life goals.

You want a million dollars, you got all these things you want to do. You can't do that when you're spreading yourself so thin in between multiple households.

Take a bitch, ye and do that.

I think went back to different though.

Well he be doing it successful.

I don't think he's happy. He probably not, but Nick Cannon is happy.

He got the money where that that don't matter for him. That's a big thing too, Like a lot of these dudes out here are making multiple families, broken families, and they broke like his is expensive, yes, Like my daycare costs more than my mortgage, and that shit ain't fun. That's why I'm shooting all the time.

You can't be broken and broken, right, yeah you can't.

You can't.

You can't, and so it's tough. But yeah, if you if you run into a dude and it's like, you know, I always look at women, I say, damn, he is never with his kid, Like how you dating that?

I'm noting with somebody who don't ever have their kids, you know, a.

Lot of a lot of things. It's like, okay, well I don't want to date a man with a kid because I don't want to compete with this other woman and this other stuff. And it's like cool, like all right, but when you do get with that dude, at least be happy that he's with his kid and he's you know, cares what's going on over there. But you running into a dude and it's like he ain't never got his kid, he ain't never facetiming this kid. Kid ain't known the

I get with women, don't want to date men with kids. I'm never finished shot. I'm like, yo, I get cool. Yeah, Like kids are a lot especially if you're active father.

Yeah, Now I.

Gotta consider you've got to spend time with your I just want to go outside. You can't take me for a walk, no, sorry, Yeah, like you can't ever take me for a walk because you got these damn kids.

You're gonna get me a discovery place.

That I introduced you to the kids?

Ready?

Yeah, right now that part?

Yeah?

Okay, So now you're your divorce one child.

One son, one son. Okay, so who gets to meet the son?

Has anybody? How long you've been divorced.

I've been divorced. I think like seven years now, six or seven years.

He got a lot of aunties. This your auntie.

Yeah, so this is gonna sound crazy. My son has not met anyone. My son has not men.

Yeah.

No, so you haven't liked anybody.

Yeah, but.

I haven't been serious.

I haven't been serious enough to like introduce my son because one of the I feel that it's important for him to see his father, Like as he grows up, like if he just sees a revolving door, he's going to think that's cool. And it's like I don't want him to think that's cool.

You know what I'm saying.

I want him to understand that, you know, like when you get older, you know, be with somebody and to be respectful and mindful of that individual. So I've always made that like when I got divorce, like I didn't want him to see that because like you know, his father,

Dad?

And it's like, okay, this is why.

Do you think it's important for him also to see you treat a woman.

Well and absolute woman? Absolutely, which is why he sees me treat his mother as well. Absolutely.

Do y'all do stuff together? So as a family.

But what about romantic because I feel like the young boys don't understand about romance and they're not seeing their father be romantic.

That's a great point, you know, y'all not together?

Yeah, I mean yeah, but I mean even in marriages that are together, sometimes they don't.

You know. It's funny because I grew up in a household where I saw my dad like romantic every day. Like my dad really took Valentine's Stay serious, which is why I was in high school spending money I did not have. And but I saw that, and I saw him love my mom, and I saw my parents like interacting kids all the time, you know, the joke kids. When we was growing up in church, I used to ask my parents, like why ain't never seen my pastor

Solid point because I do want my son to see that. You know.

It's like, y'all, I'm definitely open to, you know, having that so he can see, you know, his father be romantic with his wife. But I don't want him to see his father being romantic. Shar you know, she's going out with somebody else. It's like, I don't I don't want him to see that. Right, his genetics is gonna be fighting.

Right, what would you say, has been like one of the greatest challenges being a black father, just between you and the child, not even the mother, you and.

The mother, but h.

Honestly being too easy on them, like as a dad, Like no, it's like you tried. This is the thing that you try not to. But I because I was talking to one of my boys, like not about two months ago, and we was like, man, you know we grew up different, right, So we're growing up now. These kids they can go to any after school activity, they

Right?

Like are we giving them too much? Like one of my friends, she just had a baby, and she was just like, you know, kid was acting up. She's like, when of the last time you spank your son? And I was like, believe it or not, I've never spanked my son. I was like, I've never had to. I was like, I take the time to parent them, right,

I was raised. So it's like, you know, am I Am I doing enough? Right?

Like?

Am I raising a kid that is too soft? It's something that I'm constantly wondering, like can he take on.

The we to surprise him every once in a while just.

Jack him up?

No, he know his dad will, but it's like you do wander like, yo, are you gonna be able to take on the word, especially the way that the world is moving now. It's like, you know, man, have I done you a disservice? And I think for me that's where I'm like.

How do you find a balance?

Yeah? How do you find that? You know? So that's where I'm always like, So we don't.

Have no kids.

Were talking about our nieces this morning, sorry y'all, And it's just like how they might.

And I think the.

Our generation did the gentle parenting thing.

Because of how we were raised right, and it is making the kids more soft, like they can't do ship for themselfs Like my sister was like my niece's passwords for her email and ship till like twenty five, Like you ask your mom for your password.

Should But on the other hand, I think, man, isn't that a blessing to be able to do it?

Though?

You know what?

Because it's like, again, we didn't we didn't have it at all, right, you know?

Yeah, but adults they're not they are adults in some ways something's missing, right, Yeah.

It's like by giving them something what you didn't have, you're taking away the lessons that you learned.

So we need to bring the belt.

I see one of these girls with the couple of their ass hanging out.

The belt as up.

I wouldn't hit my kid. I don't think big people should be hitting little people.

You know what I'm saying. They just don't know.

I reserved the right to, though.

Some people like when you're gonna stop hitting them?

I mean, I think, like you can, shouldn't hit your child for every little thing.

I don't think.

I hate when I see parents with a belt while they're doing homework, standing over a child trying to teach them their homework.

And see that Johnny had like, yeah, how they gonna learn?

Like Trump?

Yeah, and like my boy he three, So it's like I gotta talk to him. I gotta figure out you know what I'm saying. But now he's getting to that stages where he'd be like oh, because I'd be like, hey, what are you doing? He knows what he's doing now, so like, but before it was like very much, no, let's talk, let's figure out, like what's going on? Because I remember my whoopings and mindra I was active.

That mean you didn't get a lot of beatings if you can remember, Oh no.

I got plenty.

Did you remember all of them?

Look? No, not all of them. But I put it like this, it was one week I did not get I didn't get a ask with My mom took me out. She was like, she said, I didn't have to whoop Gavin. This week, we're going out to you. It was only Wednesday. She was proud that we got there. And it was one of them times. But you know, I was never a bad kid, but I was just so active. I

Right, I think it is generational and I mean, look, I see some of the others. Some of these kids need to be so like I said, I think I reserve the right to give it, but I don't think every kid needs it. And I think the way y'all are younger than me, but I think definitely my generational way we was raised.

It's like you did something, you know, what what? What?

What?

What? Do?

You always say?

What?

Child? Right?

But child is inherently bad.

It's beating them gonna make it really better?

Like because now it's like shit, if all want to get as a beat and let me go ahead and do what the fuck I want and get this ass whooping.

Well, I think it needs to be a combination of things. It shouldn't be just yeah, it should be different types of reprimand.

You know, in therapy and a bunch of other stuff. You know. The sad part about this a little bit off topic, but the sad part about being a photographer is I run into so many parents who kids are on the spectrum and they don't know what yet.

There's grown men.

Yeah, and a lot of times when your kid is acting out and they behave in certain ways, you might need to go take them to the doctor and figure out why. Like so it's sad when I'm doing a photo shoot and They're just like, oh, my kid don't talk, and I'm like, all right, cool, you know, I don't care. I'm there to work. And then you know, I look and then as you keep doing this, you'd be like, oh,

I've seen some people that was you know, like that growing up. They turned out all right. I mean they turned out all right.

Autistic people are the best happiest people on the planet.

And I think we're all on the spectrum. The spectrum is a dimmer.

It's not absolute spectrum.

We're all on it.

Yeah, I'll be acting now.

Yeah, sometimes I'm definitely on the spectrum a little bit. But some people it can actually be diagnosed with some ship because I see people who I was in high school with on social media and they got wives.

Remember that.

Remember that video of the guy was scamming people for the docum?

Remember oh, yeah, that's one of my classmates.

What's up nigga.

You know, he was like Barral on the internet, like he mixing people's stuff, but he's not fixing it for scamming people around Charlotte Charleston. I forgot where he lived at. Now what's up, nigga?

But that niggas on the spectrum. We always knew that growing up.

So now you're a wrong person with kids and a wife and don't nobody know your past going to have that.

I was in the little bus and.

There's no way that that girl got with him and didn't think he wasn't special, y'all know.

I mean, he figured out a way to make money and I fix people ship, so.

He can't be that.

So you see exactly, big ass Julie trunk like he making money, he got a big brain, that boy member wearing, but the wrong ship, Like who the hell was it that class for students?

That's what I want to know.

That telling me to ask on the first date how many people was in your class in high school?

Because I was in the sole class ones but I knew it.

I knew it.

Listen, I need to explain. I need to explain.

We're not going to just leave that right there, right now, So.

Okay, like the up just a quick story, all right.

So I took I was in a P math, which is advanced for those of you that don't know. So I took a freshman math in middle school and I failed it, right, I took it in the ninth grade.

I failed it again.

They put me in geometry in the so it would be like four by four so you could take like a full semester of class is in the beginning of the year and then the full semester. So they put me in geometry and I passed it. Then they put me in like what comes after that, uh, trigonometry or something like that.

So they put me in all the masks.

By the time it was time for me to graduate, like my junior year, they were looking at what I needed and I had never gotten the algebra one credit.

So now they were like.

What how work can we Yeah, where can I put you to make sure we have everything you need to graduate? And the only math class that would have counted as my freshman math was this remedial math class.

So I was in it, and baby, we was in there drawing off.

I'm telling you that there were blocks and I would be so embarrassed to go in that class because I could do like I could do math, well, you know I had passed all these I would dive in that bitch.

When the bell right.

Nobody I have had classes and just no class man like nigga, we see y'all, Like why y'all running.

To the bus with y'all book back on your face?

Turkey off the wall?

That is crazy, Turkey down.

Yeah, turkey up.

Ain't no group pictures, no, So what ended up happening? So what ended up happened is all right, the work was so easy that I would do it so fast, and then I would disrupt the rest of the class, like makeup. I was start doing makeup, pike your hair on the kids.

Who really needed to be doing the work.

So the teacher just like, look, you can't be a part of the class because you're disrupting. So he just gave me a big packet of work to do and just turn it in and that would be my math grade.

So they separated you in the class.

They did separate me, you know, real time.

That's what we're going on in private schools. I ain't mad at it.

Oh they cooked the books.

Yeah, that's what they're going on.

In schools.

They cooked the book. I'm not mad at it at all. Probably be teaching anything.

Yeah, they cooked.

So that was my.

Yeah, you was a provo say that.

Just go with that, all right, tell us you'll proudest moment so far as a father.

Oh my gosh, my kid. I think he won. I think he definitely didn't win president. He won vice president of his daycare class.

The three year old.

Yeah, populous, Yeah, we want to day care.

Everybody come in.

Oh yeah, yeah, but he don't know like two of the other girls in his class, they're twins. They're his cousins, so they be coming up hugging him, and he'd be making sure nobody don't mess with them and everything. But yeah, probably that and probably you know, one time I said I love you and he's like, I love you too much and he just walked off and it was funny, but it was cute trying.

To tell you you love him too much.

And I don't know what he was trying to say. But other than that, Yeah, my kid, you know I'm bringing in one day, Yeah.

Because he Yeah, what about you?

I don't I don't know.

Like recently, I mean, my kid, I'm constantly like just amazing at the little human that he's becoming. So like this is his fifth grade year, so you know, he's like a senior in elementary school.

So I think just watching him.

Be like cool, like he gets out of the car cool now, like the way he walks, and just like, you know, I'll be messing with it. I'd be like Lay's son. You know, he'd be like, man, come on, yeah, chill out, man. So it's just I think, just send him mature to a little man. We were now I will say this, we were at camp. This is gonna

Y'all can stay up and play. I'm going to sleep.

And then it was it was funny because we had this Muslim parent there with his son and like my son, he's getting in bed and he starts saying his prayers right, and it was like they're like, hey, what do you do. You know He's like are you reading? And I was like no, he's praying like you need to hush. So, like just seeing him being willing to do that no matter who's around, I was like, okay, look, little do legit.

So that's definitely a you got a girlfriend talking about girl, you know.

You know what's funny.

So I was I was at camp and my son is clueless to this little girl that likes her, Like it was so funny to watch. She's like she likes him so much and he is clueless.

Like I had that. I'm like, I was like, hey, who is that?

And he was like who was like, you know, little such said you know that had ran up here, and he was just like, oh, that is somebody in my class.

I was like, okay, I was like, y'all talk. He was just like no, I mean not really. I was just like okay.

So I was like, I'm gonna leave it alone. Like I'm not going I'm not gonna press him. But it's so obvious, like she she pops up. She wasn't in our group. I kept seeing her, you know, and I'm just like, I was like, son, just say hi when she comes up to you, just say hi, just say her name, just say hi.

That's all the game.

I gave him like I do not want him to be at the girls, But no, he's not into like he's not into understanding the dynamics of that at the moment she is, though.

It's gonna come about six to seventh grade.

So, Gavin, you said, like nobody told you, So, what's some things that you wish you would have known three years ago before you.

Had this baby?

Yo, that first four months is hell. That is just Mike told me to get a rocking chair. That's the only advice he gave me. Now, mind, y'all been knowing Mike has known me my whole life. The only advice he gave me is get you a rocking chair. And I'm like, for what y'all needed that I needed at that first four months. And you know, my wife went through postpartum like bad, right, and so I didn't know nothing about that. Like my dad didn't sit me down. I'm very close to my father. I want y'all think

I mean babies hanging upities?

So when when women be like no, like black women just roll their eyes and run off. But so that was our thing. We knew she knew she was breastfeeding, right, So it was like I was glad because I'm like, please answer this quick question correctly, right, And we get there, and then she couldn't feed past like six weeks, and so she got like depressed and she was going through it.

It's gonna be up.

Yeah. I think I started watching The Wire, you know, again and so and then by that time, my kid was older. When I say older, he was like a year, So me and him started watching The Wire again, you know what I'm saying. So it's one of those things like just be prepared and watch after your girl, Like if you don't like your girl, don't give her kid. I stress that. I stressed that a lot. If you don't like her, do not give her a child, because.

It's even, you know, more important than loving.

Yeah, because when shit gets real, like you gotta take care of her and your baby. And so, like I tell everybody now, my wife's job matters the most in our household because I'm an entrepreneur. So whenever she has to do something like my schedule has to adapt to that. So, like I said, Shan Cabo, so yo, my working hours changed because who gonna watch my kid? Me? So yeah, if you don't like your girl, don't give it. Yeah please?

As a as a well dad, that's single divorcee. What do you think about step dad's Oh gosh, what's the comedian that was recently on the Breakfast Club And basically he said, if the women ain't acting right, just is gonna make another family? That's one thing he said, just gonna.

Have another baby, don't raise anybody else.

Yeah, he did say basically like stepdaddy's is we go ultimate simps or I disagree?

Yeah, I do too, But I mean.

So it's a lot. It's just it's layered. It's a layered on you in there. So I don't think there's anything wrong with the woman as a child, right. But one of the things that I always stress, and any any guy who knows me knows that I say this, Like one of my boys married a young lady had a kid, and me and he and I have conversations and I'd be like, hey, that's not your child, that's his child. You need to reach out to him, Like, don't go off of what she say, reach out to

He married the lady. That wasn't coming from her.

If he was, if he would have followed, she was ready to just discard the dude that you know, created Yeah, And I was like, I was like, bro, don't do that. I was like, it's your job to reach out to the man. So anytime we have these conversations around stepdad and I see that the two men aren't conversating, I don't like it just being just being frank because now we're going through the woman. Why are we going why

But there's a lot of egos involved in that. You're like, I don't want to talk to that.

There should be no there should be no man.

If I married woman with a child, that man should not be calling my wife. If I married, if I married one with a child, that man should not be calling my wife.

He should be calling he should be calling me. He should be calling me.

He should happen that way. But it's never gonna happen that way.

Like, he should not be calling that is my wife.

Yeah, but it's never gonna happen.

But they got kids together.

Yeah, yeah.

And that's the problem with stepdad is they have children together and there's a gun there, and it's like, yo, you have to reshape that.

But what if everybody got along.

Do you have a good relationship, y'all have a good relationship, Well you.

Better hope it's not too good.

Oh my god, that's way ego.

That's not that's not feel No.

I'm so I'm practical, and I look at things were practical.

Yeah, I mean, because if I have a healthy relationship if I have a child.

Like you, Yeah, your kid's.

Mom, if.

She was remarried, I'll talk to the dude.

You wouldn't talk to her no more. Do y'all talk now?

Yeah? We do? We talk now, we talk. We talk often.

Get married.

That's his wife, now, that's his Why if it was an emergency, sure, but like the casual conversations. No, if I if I need, if I need to come grab my kid, right, I would, I'd be like, hey, I'm coming over. I am going to tell the man I am coming to his house before I pop up at his house, because no telling what's going on between him and his wife. As someone that's been married, there's no telling what's going on between him and his wife. So yes, I am going to reach out to the husband.

Respect factor, I get that.

Yeah, why would we have that?

Then if we stepdad, why wouldn't we have respect for the child's father and the husband? Right most because most of the time the ladies aren't going to encourage that. That is up to the men. So yes, I'm very hard on guys. If you're going to marry a woman to have a child, you need to find that child's father. I don't care what she told you. I don't care what she said. He didn't exists here in jail.

He's dead. Go to the cemetery. Make sure he's dead. Make sure I tell a.

Woman if y'all if he not active, just tell people anyway, are you.

Getting this new man?

And I'm like, make sure.

Everything going well and you're gonna say, oh, you just got this randoms, make sure that's what I'm staying there?

What are yours for young fathers?

One?

First, they have said, make sure you put a baby and a woman you like, make sure you just don't like the sex, because that's where babies come from.

Marry her.

Yeah, yeah, And I think that's part of the problem. Like if you don't want to marry one, don't don't have children with that woman. It's too hard, it's too hard to preparent for two homes.

And I do it. I won't.

I won't even say I'm doing sucessfully. Like we're treading water, you know what I'm saying, Like it's way better to be in the home together. There's so many times where I'm like, so much better if I was married, not even so much like married to her, just in general, Like, yo, just be so much better if there was two people here. So that's the first thing. Make sure you like the woman you know, make sure you want to marry her before you ever get don't have babies out of wet low.

But you can't imagine how many changes a woman's body goes through when she has a child.

I agree, That's what I'm saying.

Men need to have the conversation, like we don't really have these conversations of like, yo, you know this is everything that was going on in my house.

Yeah, that's the problem that men have. It's like, like I tell everybody, when you get married, start hanging out with married people, Like seriously, that don't mean cut off your single friends. You know. It's funny. I have a dude and we're not as close anymore. But I remember he used to always say, like, yo, when my friends get married, I kind of just put space between us. And it was like weird to hear him say that because I was like, damn, I'm about to get married.

My friend.

Yeah, and that's what exactly what happened. But now I'm like, all right, cool, it's cool with me. My life is better now. But I hang around people that me. Mike is probably the only person I hang around. There ain't mayor you know what I'm saying, But.

Mike don't marriage mind.

Oh no, it's a lot. Like Mike is way more mature, so it's like, you know, yeah, so when I'm hanging out with other people, and Mike has known me forever, so he knows what I'm into, what I'm not into, where i want to go, where I'm not going to go. But that part and then when you have kids start hanging around more fathers, like that is shape because when we get around, like I told Mike the story yesterday, like I put some money in the bank, I sent

That's what women do.

After he left, and it's like I wasn't even mad about it. It was just I was just expressing something. So it's like that my boy just got married. My boy Ryan just got married what three weeks ago? And I asked him last week, I'm like, how's it going. It's been two weeks? Because she get real when you get you say, I do ship change everything? Because like right now, we really got skinned in the game. And it's like some people do let their guard down. Well not even

Married, but it's hard to do that living in the same house, it's right next to you.

If a woman doesn't, like get pregnant, you don't have to.

They're gonna kick you.

All of us are here from the pull out method. About at least.

Two of us sitting on this count here because somebody didn't.

Sure and it's tough, like, but me and my wife, we wouldn't have made it. We got a look when the day she moved in, I was fussing at her mom. I was fussing at her I'm like And then probably two weeks later we had to like have a sit down because we was like, yo, we might not make it to the wedding day. And then it was a lot of me. It was a I was changed, Yeah, because she came to my house. Yeah, and I had to I had to say, this ain't my house no more,

I feel like it's just you.

Yeah, like nobody else has dealt with this, is dealing with this, and it's like that's not the case.

Because and I ain't trying to be funny, but like it ain't like the single moms is like sitting their sons down and say, hey, this is how women are. They act like they do are women?

Yeah, like maybe that's another episode.

I ain't got enough time for that. I just want to know.

Yeah, that love women.

We we think that you're angels back and when we find out that y'all are not, that is earth shatterings.

And what way like doing something bad or not cleaning up?

No, no, no, it's just just in general, just like we really see y'all as angelic beings and y'all are.

Not because nasty ain't you don't know y'all still.

Have babies, you just yeah, baby, yeah, But as a dude in college.

Like, yo, when the first time you found out your girl was sleeping with everybody, that should be hurtful.

You'd be like the first time man is Yeah, it's the nature of one.

First time I go to college and nature of a woman in college. My girl come to my room and then my roommates started laughing. I'm like, he was like, yo, she jumped from Florida, Florida, she got and I was your girl.

Yeah it was my girl.

She ain't my girl, No, mother.

Girl was the past around she was, isn't it?

That's how they get there? Everybody taking this time. I ain't know what I was doing. She was showing me. Dudes be waiting their turn.

Yeah, so like women, they're good. Did you find that your girl?

Is that the worst part though, just finding out that she's experienced.

Well not not just experience, but it is also it's like, you know the attitudes, right that that you have to deal with.

Men not do you not ever have the poking Women said that.

Men men don't have this aura of not having attitudes. Men don't have this aura of not being over the top. That's men's aura, right, Like it's different for men when you find out a man, it's sweet and kind and caring. You be like, oh damn, Like I know he was just romantic, you know. But for women it's the opposite. We think y'all are, and then when y'all not, that's what kind of knocks us out, like whoa.

And it's just a shot.

Expect it's just a shot. We look, we still love when we're human.

That's what y'all be forgetting.

Yeah, because we think you are angels.

That's what I am, though I am definitely from godperriting all energy. So I did not say I don't have any man come and shoot you in particular. What I did say is I like nigga is that and knock all this ship over if need be?

That is what I like. Easy way to say this.

But all right, we have a segment on our show, this is gonna close this out called SIMP series.

SIMP series, and you gotta share.

A time that you got played by the well I feel like you already don't, yes, so you can tell us a story about when you got played by the opposite.

Oh man, when I got played by the opposite, Yo, why he's thinking about it? You got enough plenty.

I'm trying to make the story that I can tell.

Yeah.

Yeah, So we at we're doing something. We at church. Sorry, and so we there and we're leaving right, So everybody's like, yo, we're going here to eat at a restaurant. Were going to chill. And so I'm like all right, bet so we going there. Everybody's sitting down, and so my short is like, yo, I'll be right back. I gotta go pee cool let her out. We all laughing. I'm looking down. I'm like, damn, it's been five minutes, ten minutes. And

Go to corral.

Yeah, it was down here. I was like, shit here. And then I'm looking and no.

First ill go to corral.

It's gonna make you shit dwn.

And so my boy is like looking down and I'm like the energy just changed. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And my boy just looks down and then so I'm like whatever, like cool, And so Shorty comes back. It's been like twenty thirty minutes. I'm like, you good, you throwing up some shit? She was like nah, I'm good, I'm good, and Shorty like sister just starts crying at the tables. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Did I miss something?

You know?

I Mike said his son, don't know that some girl like I don't be seeing shit. So I'm like whatever. So all the girls get up from the table and leave, and my boy look at me. He go, Yo. She been in the car with her nigga for like the last thirty minutes, and I was like, I said, Yo, yeah, I gotta go home. I just gotta go. We ain't talk since, but it's cool.

So she was fucked up.

You paid for her dinner.

Actually, did you know what I'm saying? That's some I don't know if that's a SIMP.

I mean he was. He was already halfway in and then I joined.

Free band game, Shut up the future.

Let's see a best SIMP story or not the best?

Uh?

The girl that I dated that I thought that I would have married. So I was in my twenties. Her dad and mom was going through a divorce, so like dad basically stopped paying her car. Her car got repossessed, so I actually like we went and got a car and I co signed on the car for her.

Man.

Yeah, we broke you know, that's simp shit. And we broke up probably I don't know, maybe a year later, and guess what she let the car do get repossessed.

Credit.

Yeah, yeah, so I was I was in my young twins at that time. And you know when I tell you, like that created a lot of rules from that point forward.

Oh yeah, that girl up for the rest of us who needed a car.

The lessons you learned out everybody.

Yeah, yeah, when I tell you that, he didn't take another bits to go to corn.

A lot. So.

But I mean I wasn't mad at it then, was not mad at it now. But that's probably that's probably the stupidest thing.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I got.

I got another couple married though it was a guy, and she was like, oh it was my best friend, you know whatever. You know, like we weren't dating, like she was just she was in Atlanta. I been Atlanta all the time. So I ended up like just crashing into the place. And her quote unquote best friend like really didn't like he. I don't think he liked her because she was experienced and he wasn't. He knew all he knew all the stories. I knew a lot of us.

Stuff that he seeth it, I mean just see it, and I'm just like, you know, so I walk up and I'm like, yo, what's up with your boy?

You know? He good?

She was like no, no, he was good.

So the next day we were supposed to I already knew what time it was. Next day, like they were like a family breakfast and she was like are you going?

And I was like it's like nah.

I was like I want you and your friend have a good time. So I was like I'm gonna stay here, like he's not gonna enjoin me being there. But long story short, they end up getting married. I could tell that, like because she and I were just fun. It's just a situationship. But I could tell like when he saw somebody else taking care of it. He was like, yeah, putting that on him. Yeah, he was like, man, nah, I need and they are married now. Yeah, so thank you for letting me date your girlfriends.

Oh all right, everybody where they can find your show, plug all your things, y'all.

First of all, thank y'all, Thank y'all, Thank y'all so much. It took two years, but thank y'all. We had to earn it. I respect that, but no, look up Black Dads dot com com. Excuse me, Black Dad's Underscore Podcast.

Club.

We're okay, nice, y'all gonna come on the show.

Like y'all need to expand that more than just the podcast, Like y'all need to be doing a little golfing trips.

I'll take a little cute ship with the Black Dads.

So we get so many women who are just like y'all, don't want people with kids, But we get so many women. It's like, y'all, you just have.

Y'all could do it like a.

Single daddy no babies convention.

Y'all get the ladies there.

Yeah, we can combine on this.

You'll get the ladies. The ladies there would get all right, But yeah, Black Dance Club put you on Instagram man.

Oh I am underscore Gavin B. Follow me if you need some picture. Y'all want some pictures?

Yes, we need some.

Picture, bring your camera.

Yeah, I'm pas Will at past Mike Will anywhere. You can find me with Black Dass Club dot com.

Hey, we appreciate y'all.

Okay, this was a great time, y'all having us on this is great.

All right, y'all.

So if you enjoy this episode and these fabulous black men who take kids, they probably got excess money, all types.

Of sh we got kids, do not have money.

Now, you're gonna be.

Definitely Black Dance Club is broke.

Black dollar. That might be a five. That's a that's a nonprofit club.

Yeah, nonprofit.

Okay, there work, all right, y'all. Enjoyed this episode, y'all. Tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeart Radio Apple where you get your podcast. This is your co host, A j Holiday two point oh a.

Y'all.

I love y'all so much.

Thank you for tuning in. It's Tam Bam. Follow me on Instagram.

Remember speak now, uh and never and always hold your children.

Always, always hold your kids.

This is that's your stepdaddy.

Oh my god, For

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