Piece of the planet, Charlamagne to God here and as we come closer to closing out this year, I just want to say thank you for tuning into the Black Effect podcast network. There have been so many great moments over the past year. Take a listen to some of those captivating moments in this special best of episode, Let's Talk Talk.
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion to talks.
How do you not catch feelings when dealing with men? When dating? Is it possible to not catch feelings?
So?
I mean, you know, women, we are emotional beings, That's what niggas be saying. But I feel like men are actually way more emotional than us. But sometimes we might hallucinate a little bit. Sometimes we may get things misconscrewed when engaging with the opposite second, So how do you We've already had an episode on dating and like the different levels of dating, But how do you actually date without catching feelings for someone?
But let me ask you this, Why are we dating and not trying to catch feelings? That's what I don't understand, Like, my whole goal is to always catch feelings.
Sometimes women catch feelings with everybody that they're dating, though that's the problem if you're not dating multiple people at one time. I'm saying, like, if you're honing in on this one person and you're catching feelings and they aren't, it's a problem, is it not.
Yeah, you don't want to be the only one in your feelings. Yeah.
So I think a lot of times we may go into relationships or situations for different reasons.
Right.
I think most women probably date with intents, Right, We're not just out here entertaining men without the hopes of the of the situation going to the next level. Right, But men oftentimes are dating to have sex, that's it. They might have five dates this week and instead of dating one person that they really like, who they know is going to give them some cucci, they're just dating five people to see how many they can get kuci from for the week.
But I know it's women who date five people to have dinner.
All week, call those dinner wars. And that's fine too, But at least one of those dudes she actually likes and is probably not trying to play with like that. Yeah, I agree, But so how do you avoid catching feelings for someone? Isn't always entirely within your control, But here are some strategies to help minimize the chances. And this is and this could be if you're dating multiple people and you're really trying to I feel like sometimes black
women have attached issues. It could be all women, but I'm just saying for us, we're not used to dating, right, which you mean you get I think from childhood we're told to go to school, get money. We're not like dating how white girls get to date at a young age. So once we get like people, we'd be holding on to them or really like we stay in situations, relationships too long, let them go and move on to the
next person. So you can you know, as you're doing this, you're you're seeing what it is that you want, what you don't want. You're not staying in a bad situation too fucking long and missing blessings and all the good shit, missing the person you're actually supposed to be.
I never took them on a date, and that's crazy.
And you're hallucinating like now you're now you have feelings with somebody who has done nothing for you, nothing emotionally, nothing financially, nothing.
Just dicking you down.
That's it.
And if you hear it, say you know that you bitch, you better leader, Nigga long before thee here.
But even getting dicked down, Like, how do you avoid emotions when getting dicked down? Like I don't hallucinate even when I'm getting good dick from somebody At the minute I see some shit I don't like, like nowadays, and it's it's a place I had to get to. It doesn't happen overnight. You just turn your emotions off like that overnight.
Oh No, that don't work for me. That's why I have to be very selective about who I get my pussy to, because as soon as he hit it.
I'd be like, we love. I'm a marrial. I can be like that one day and the next day I'm not. So maybe there's some Gemini shit. I don't know. I got a high tolerance for some motion. And then I'll wake and be like I don't want this anymore, see and I'm out cold turkey and nigga real quick.
It takes me a long time to really, really really be locked in. But once I'm locked in, it's hard to get me away. Like we go together, Nigga, where you thought you was going?
It depends on how we had sex. If we use the condom. I'm not studying your ass. Real, you start hitting that pussy rod, you're my husband? Where are you?
Like?
What you thought?
This one? Now? It don't make no difference for me.
Nah, It make it like I'm not studying. No condom, Dick. I don't feel like I lost anything. It don't count.
And we use the condom all are you guys? We're back? And I hit up AJ because I had got a message from someone and she asked me, did I feel like pity pussy was a real thing? Because she felt like she just gave up some and I was like, well, what you mean? And she shared with me how a guy from her job that she communicates with and they talk all the time and he's a really She's like, oh, he's a really nice guy. That's how she described him.
But she like they were watching a movie or something and his internet went out and he started like trying to get that bulls and she ended up giving it to him, but not because she wanted to. She just pitied him. So she gave him so and she said it wasn't good and she didn't enjoy it, but she just felt so sorry for her, so she gave him some Kouchie, and I was like mm mm, So it made me think about like the idea of what pity pussy is, and so I hit aj up so we can talk about it.
What's pretty Yeah, because I've definitely given a man pity pussy before and then I didn't talk to him again. Really, she has to work with this guy, Yes, I have definitely. You know it's and I talked about this on my homeboy Von Ray's podcast, Set the record straight. How I think this happens to women a lot and men may not consider it kind of like it's almost like a situation where you're you're in a closes setting with a man.
And this is why I'm against women. If you don't want to have sex with a man in any capacity, do not put yourself in a clothes setting with him. You know, it's not technically, it's not a forced situation, but if you had a choice, you probably would not have done it. I really you should have just made me, and you do have a choice. A lot of times women don't know how to get out the situation though. How do you just without hurting this man's ego? How
do you leave? You know what I'm saying, like some women don't know like that viral and daves me. Some women don't know how cause I can tell you in that situation, like I didn't know how to just get the fuck up out of there. I just let it happen and I just didn't talk to him again because you you put the pressure on so fucking heavy that I just went ahead and had sex with you when I really didn't want to. And maybe I would have
want to fuck you know a month from now. You didn't let me even get to like you enough to want to have sex with you. So now I had sex with you without liking your ass for real, and I'm out of there. Nigga blocks So it happen.
But is that pity sex or is it just like they're almost hair nigga?
It's almost borderline kind of Yeah, r it.
Sounds rapist, Can I say that?
Yes? I said that before, right, so maybe you bleep it. But it is a little bit. It's it's a great area situation as some women end up in. And I and I'm saying this is in my younger days, this is not recently, because I don't think we should have nigga to death nowadays, I'm out of there. I'm out
of there. But young girls like sometimes they don't know how to find themselves out of those situations, which is why I just don't put yourself in there in it because if you go to a man's house like they automatically think, think you know it's right and don't.
Like a nigga said he want to cook for you if he is not a chef and went to culinary school, don't go over there.
Exactly went out, you know, in the he cut his internet off. That exactly from the app on his cell phone. He cut the internet service. TV went out. I'm the fuck like that. You're not about to watch Netflix to death me? Okay, right, that's what happened. I'm pretty sure she gave him.
Some minute, but she said it like it sounds like because she sent me voice notes, it sounded like pity pussy cause it was like, oh but he's so nice, they feel so bad for him. I don't ever want to give out Bill Johnna. That goes with that tone, you know, and what.
Man actually wants. Like, well, actually we had a man on who said he's okay with pitty pussy, Like here you hear nigga hit us pussy, Like, why do you not want the woman to also enjoy it? And I think men know when we are giving them pitty pussy, But do they give a fuck? I don't think so. They don't think.
They don't care as long as they hitting it, they don't care what kind it is.
All right, y'all were back, and we want to know, are you a girls girl?
Damn?
Do you think you're a girl's girl.
I'm absolutely a girl's girl.
I think I am too, okay, based on the characteristics of what a girl's girl is. But this is like a whole new trending thing online, y'all. And anytime somebody just does anything like to disagree with a woman, people in the comments like, oh she is not a girl's girl. Now,
that's one thing I don't agree with. Like everybody ain't gonna like everybody, right, you could be pleasant to everyone, right, this girl, Christina Mackie, people are saying that she's not a girl's girl, she's actually a pigmy, which I consider the counter for girls girl tam. Thing's different, though, So what is a girl's girl to you?
To me? I guess a girl's girl to me is someone who advocates for women in all ways, you know, like even the smallest of things, just seeing a woman walking down the street and there pretty dressing, like yes, okay dress, you know, just just their energy, you know, always advocating for women and spreading love.
Yeah, I call it a hype girl, because bitch, I'd be hyping bitches up. Okay, even if I don't know you, like I'm in your comments, like if you look good, like hey, girl, you look good. Da da da da, even on the streets. Those are That's what I consider like one of the characteristics of a girl's girl.
Right, But that's the most basic, Like if you if you fuck with another girl's man, can you call yourself a girl's girl?
No, No, I have. So I made a list. I made well kind of sorder, uh, And part of my list is like things where you might not be considered a girl's girl if you do these things. And then I have like the internet definition of a girl's girl. So this I forgot where I got this from. But a girl's girl typically refers to a woman who is supportive, understanding, and friendly to wars other women, and implies a strong sense of camaraderie and solidarity amongst women. That's a basic
definition of what a girl's girl is. I'm definitely a girl's girl. Niggas really be trying to get me to not be a girl's girl though, and those where like pick mees are people who pander to men for the approval of men. I have a lot of guy friends who send me dms all the time trying to disparage women because we talk a lot of shit about men and women on this podcast. But I'm a black woman first, so I'm always gonna show up for us. Right.
It's definitely if you can put somebody in position, you know, and then take that opportunity to do it, that's definitely a girl's girl. Now, some of these lists was almost sound like lesbian, like the only way you could be a girl's girl is if you like eating pussy to you or that that's not necessarily true. Like it was like girls girls like hate men and that's not true, Like you can be a girl's girl and love men.
But all right, so you were saying that, like it's a pick me is like someone who panders to men, or like women who say like I'm a guys girl, like I like, I'm cooler with guys than I am women. Do you feel like they're pigmies?
Yeah, and I don't. Those are guys girls, Those aren't girls girls, Because one of the characteristics of a pick me would be someone who says, I don't have female friends. That's a guys girl. I don't have female friends. I only hang around guys. And the women I know that you know, stand on that they oftentimes that has sex with multiple of them, homeboys of theirs that you be hanging out with, and they just be delusionaling fucking ugly inside and out, Like I don't. I don't like women
who don't like other women. Pause. Yeah, not the palls, Yeah, because how do you get through life without your girlfriends? Yeah?
I always find it weird, Like if I meet a woman who don't have if they wasn't a military brand, you know, who travel like always moving, if you don't have nobody that you grew up with as a friend, not even one, I beside, I am bitches like that, like where's your homegirls at? Where's your childhood friends? Like? How do you not have any?
When I think about the women that I no longer have relationships with, like who I considered like best friends at the time, they don't have any childhood friends, They don't have any consistent friends. They have add water for instant friends. Every three to six months, you hanging out with a different group of people. Those are wishy washy people. Like when I make friends with somebody, oftentimes I'm friend with friends with them forever.
So oh, you know, I can't say the same. I have relationships that I've outgrown in different ways, like not because they're bad people or but it just wasn't As we got older, our path just took us different places. So I can't necessarily say that I have everybody that I've been friends with, you know, some of them just we not like that no more. And it ain't no beef,
you know, it's just life. And then I do have relationships or I've had relationships with people where I had to exit them for my life for whatever reason, it just wasn't healthy. And I'm talking about people who were close to me, you know, very close to me, and I just it wasn't healthy. The dynamic was no longer suiting my life, so I had to exit them, you know.
And people I still love very much, you know, and I still might inquire about, you know, are they good and I want them to be good, But bitch, I don't fuck with you like that. You know, you don't have people in your life like that.
I have an ex friend and who I consider a family member. I consider her like my a sister, a family member who I don't fuck with, who I don't talk to no more. I don't care about her well being and how she's doing. But she's not a good friend. She's really not a good person, so I mean, and she always got a different group of friends. Don't have no childhood friends for real. That's that's weird to me.
And I still have stories about her friendships with other women till this to this day, like issues and be falling out at some point. You gotta look at you at some point.
Right right, Absolutely, I'll be falling out with bitches. But typically we always come back together. But people don't, you know, People either love or hate how forward I am at times like it either is like okay, I fuck with this or I can I can only deal with this bitch in doses or I can't deal with this bitch all. But they have. Most the people who are very close with it still understand that even with my bluntness is
coming from a place I love. It might come off aggressive, but it's not meant to be hurtful, and that's why they can still fuck with me.
This is from TikTok. It says, in some ways, the rise of the Girls girls on TikTok is about pushing back against the notion that we need to separate ourselves from other women and craft personalities that are different from those of everyone else. You know how guys do like you're just so different from everybody else? Like how because I can give you thirty bitches in my phone that
seemed just like me? Right, So it's like a tactic that men use that creates picknies, right, Like, you're so different. A lot of us have a lot of the same characteristics. You know what I'm saying that when you start changing yourself completely to suit a male, that's when it becomes like pickmish, you're just going against all women, right.
It's a lot of Yeah. I see a lot of videos of women like saying all these things about what women need to do, and some of it might be true, but then some of it does give off this energy that you're pandering to men, you know, in a real way, like you need to suck his dick every day when he come off from work. It don't matter what happened on some like what like, girl, what are you talking about?
Absolutely not, that's a pick me.
I'm not sucking nobody dick every.
Day, right. So these are the things I came up with that I consider a girl's girl. So a girl's girl literally fixes each other's crown, even when you don't know the woman. So I if I see a woman with like toilet tissue coming at the bathroom on her shoe, I be like, girl, hold on, you go back out in the club. Okay, tags sticking out. I'm talking your tag and I don't know you hair out of place. I'm fixing your hair. Those are the type of thing lass.
Is coming up your close your eye, your lash. Come, I got some glue.
Girl, you know, like you already trying to make sure they're crying.
Everybody on point is good?
Right, Even women you don't know. With friends, you post the best pics, bitch, even if we I look fine as telling this picture, you look fucked up. I like this picture. It's the only picture we got. The picture ain't going up right, You don't look good?
It right? Right?
Right? And even catching candid photos of your friend when you think she looking good, like girl, it's a good picture. Stay right there, that's the girl's girl, right.
But you know what, sometimes I somebody will post a picture of you that you they think look good at you, and you be like, bitch right, they don't look good right, and you should have read by me first.
Once again, thank you for tuning into the Black Effect Podcast Network. See you in twenty twenty five for more great moments from your favorite podcast.