All In My Business with Terry

Talk. We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks. Thank you for tune in a friend new episode and we talked back and she was dedicated to your niggas and these bitches in these hoes and everybody else.

Hey, y'all, it's me Tim Bam. I love y'all.

Did you say you were my co host AJ? That was my co host AJ? Everybody?

Yeah, I didn't.

I didn't get to you know, but it's me, you know, small back a j Oh, I'm big, bigger person. I'm big her back this year and I'm never going to be the bigger person.

Well, it's big back Tam Bam, y'all, I love y'all.

We gotta go. We got a co host this week, y'all. Uh look, y'all listen. This is my friend from first grade through fucking college. Okay, Terry, what you want to go by? We're doing low Oh you ain't going back to low teen.

Y'all can call me Terry. Only people that know me like that can call me that, but everybody else come.

And this has been my friends since eighteen years old to we're now twenty seven, so good good ten years almost y'all listen.

More than that. More than that. We met in two thousand and three.

We're twenty seven, nigga, I just said that ten years.

Shame, y'all. Terry has been telling us fucking lie about me since I had a Jerry carl and elementary Okay, he has been going around and even into my adult life lying.

Go ahead and tell everybody's story, Terry.

Listen. One day we was in elementary school, Snandra's elementary school, Ashley had a Jerry cirl. It's not a lot everybody, Ashley, jeez is, why why are you saying my whole name?

Okay?

We go ahead, all right, y'all to school.

One day Ashley came to school one day. I remember what she had on.

She had the Jerry Curle for starters. She had on all black sweatsuit, the Lie Russell by Black Chuck Taylors and black Chuck Taylors. And I was like, yo, here a break dance and ever since game we been going that. And she called my mom a demolition man because she had going here.

No, that same day, y'all, he go like, Terry cat oh because he got gray hand.

I don't, okay. So let's be very clear, right, So.

He you used to crack with my mama because she had going ahead.

And tell him about your mom in a minute. But okay, Terry used to tell people. I would say, hey, guys, check it out, and then busting to me and then busting to the break dance. First of all, my mom was not buying no name brand ship, so I know, damn well. I had no Adidas or Russell anything in elementary school. Okay, it could have been Walmart, but I definitely was not wearing no fucking tracksuits back then, y'all.

Okay, y'all think I'm gonna meet this up and carry us home for all these years.

For forty years, but I love My name is a j we're characters on this podcast.

Okay, y'all calling me Terry all right, as I.

Wanted to be referred to by, as I asked.

You forgive me, y'all forgive me.

So Ashley was wearing no boundaries outfits.

Hey, she.

And Charlie Terry Carroll dripping in Charlie Taylor's y'all, I used to hate Jerry carl so bad because the fucking mosquitos in the summertime at Charleston ain't no fucking joke. Then she used to be stuck and.

My hair stuck to the curls, stuck to the juice.

Mad.

They was like, Oh that looks shiny, let's land on it.

And then die. Girl.

My sister would come home and be like, girl, so and so said, you were sitting in that seat on the bus because your juice was like on the seat and in the window. You know, you like middle school to ride the same bus as the elementary at just different times, so people would be tripping off me in my absence.

Right, this is how I learned all you mama jokes.

Okay, this is how I learned how to fucking trip off people quick because I got an hour worth of stand up comedy for anybody trying to come from me.

All right, all right, so go glow. Let's get into internet.

Least. We ain't talked about our weekends. We've been talking about growing up and shit, I ain't do nothing this weekend. Nowhere, go ahead to him.

I ain't just shit either. My hair been looking fulled up. I went back to swim class. It's just so hard to look cute and exercise if you don't have like a protective style in good grief.

Yeah, black women be having it, howered, man, trying to trying to stay healthy and keep your head done is a real, real life struggle.

So I didn't know what you had going on this weekend, Terry.

Nothing much, man. I went to an all black party, A lot worked and uh just lively chilled out. You know what I'm saying. With my homebole house to watching football. That's about it.

What's your favorite team?

Cowboys?

Okay, stupid, stupid Sexy Red is pressed. Actually stupid Internet news. Go ahead, town, Sexy Red is pregnant, you guys. I know y'all seen it, but we're gonna report it. She is pregnant, and I think that is in a line.

With her whole esthetic.

Be pregnant baby mama. Yeah, like, we just saw a sex tape of her about two weeks ago, and now she's pregnant, y'all. And listen, we all swards just two weeks ago, and her stomach was flat.

I didn't pay a really good attention to her stomach, but it didn't look like she she don't look super pregnant.

You know that belly is round. We would have seen that round belly her performing three times. She performed three times at the at the BT Hip Hop Awards, so you might have missed the second time when she actually did her personal performance. But yeah, we would have seen that stomach girl. And then the pictures that are out. I didn't see her on the red carpet, but the pictures that are out. She said, she I don't know how you sucked that much stomach in, but more power

What did you think about sexy Red terry.

Sexy Red is one interesting character. I saw that photograph of her, I guess saying that she was pregnant. I thought she was bloated.

You think she full of ship?

She said, And then she came back and said she was trying to suck it in or whatever like that. But if Sexy Red.

Is pregnant, we're gonna have to expect a Sexy Red pregnancy song.

Sexy Red baby. All right, y'all, listen, stick that stomach out let that pussy breathe.

It's definitely gonna sound something like that. That sounds about right. Maybe you should go ahead and write the album for her, I mean I could.

The lyrics are very elementary.

Easy, okay, dumbitch, just rap speed easy, Right, y'all, Let's talk about this goddamn megachurch pastor in Texas who was just sued for two point forty five million dollars right are two point four million dollars forgiving women herpes that he was meeting on Facebook? Okay? A Texas pastor has in order to pay a woman her a woman he met online two point four million dollars after he gave her her herpes. Ralph Douglas West the Second, the assistant

Women getting paid two point four million dollars. I know some people who got herpes for free.

Listen, they say one in one in three and one in four people in America have herpes. It's something like seventy percent other people in America have herpes.

Seventy people got herpies.

Yeah, if you've never been test you may have never even had a house outbreak. But that's not something that the doctors test you for unless you ask. Oh, because it's so common. Yes, it's just that common. It's alright, it's three of us right now. Which one of y'all got herpes? You been hate me?

Not gonna will, right, Terry, he says, Terry got two or more?

Congregate, somebody got herpies, Terry, real quiet.

Recent test shows.

They don't test you for that. You got to ask for no, ask for it. Yes, that's so you went. You went and asked for a herpes test.

Why nah, you No, you ask for everything. They just do everything they want. They draw blood, you actually test for everything.

This is why I was like disgusting when people were talking about usher because a lot of the people, like in the comments online, don't know their status.

When it comes to herpees. You know what I'm saying.

If you've never actually been tested, and a lot of people don't know they got dash it until they have a fucking output, So it lies dormant on your spinal cord.

Well, I had a full panel test when I had my fireboards removing may so I think they tested.

I'm gonna imagine they would test me for that too, right, it's a full panel, A full planel really doesn't include a herpes test though, that's a whole separate thing. Even media gonorrhea, even if they're working on my vagina and stuff like that, it seems like they would. Well, you can go back on your my chart and take a look and see if you actually have a test. Therefore

You can't fix it.

She's got it for the rest of her life, said the said the woman's attorney, Sean Murphy, as reported on Click to Houston. Y'all, that's terrible because there was another pastor who was given his congregation. Hi v I remember that ship, No.

Remember that?

Yes, girl?

A real thing. Be careful who you follow or who you let hit raw, because even the pastor use condoms. I guess some of these.

Some of these people, they use their influence to lure the women in.

You know.

You know, if you're a pastor, you're the head of the church.

You know, so that church don't got no.

Right here.

Words to manipulate. You know what I'm saying.

Knowing that he's in and infecting women.

Yeah, that's that's that's.

Wow, the head of the church. And obviously you had an outbreak while you was doing it. Yeah, terrible. Got to be more careful. Speaking of outbreak, let's talk about Jada Jada outbreak.

Yeah, it's like every other month we having a Herpies outbreak of Jada.

God damn Jada.

If we can smith, it's like, why she don't stop?

All right?

Let me just say this. I love Jada. She was the it girl when we were young. Everybody loved Jada Pink it right, we did. We thought she was so dope. Now in her fifties, she's just like this. I don't know if she wants attention or what it is why we are so involved in their life.

So she has a book coming out, so she has something to promote, and she's promoting the fuck out of that book. I'm pretty sure going to be a New York Times bestseller. Okay when it does come out. I did click onto my audible the other day to see if it was on there, because I do got me some credits.

I was definitely going to buy it so I can.

I'm actually want to read her book and Will Smith's book, because y'all know, I'd be liking to understand where the fuck people coming from or like what's actually going on. But Will Smith was essentially on the same type of press tour about a year year and a half ago when his book came out. I think women period have a have a uh not so a nice way of saying things, you know what I'm saying, Like, maybe she could be a little have a little bit more kouth with the interviews that she's doing.

But she's not doing.

Anything that he didn't do before her, you know, and he actually he wrote a book, He wrote a nice letter to her telling her, you know how if he if he he wilhed he can go back thirty years, he would have hugged her more.

M I just think that.

Just to speak from a man's PERSPECTI it's kind of embarrassing.

You know. You have to really I always think, why would she say these things publicly? You know, and you do have a husband, and you have to consider your husband before you say something. You got to think my husband. Don feel I say this publicly.

But because the internet is vicious, I would tell you would never defeat the internet.

Man.

I'm just like, look, this man.

Just ain't nothing worse than the August Elsina. What the heck the Thebaka entanglement. It can't get no worse than that, I feel like at this point, but that wasn't her doing at the time August of Sina started that she was doing. For sure, she was definitely doing. Her issue was fucking with somebody who didn't have shit to lose. See, Will Smith is not exempt. We pretty I'm pretty sure

But she just took ownership of what was going on at the time.

She didn't drag him down then, but now it's like now she's trying to defend herself. We weren't together then, and now he was amaze doing that. He got a whole boyfriend.

Who oh, august Issina, I mean what I mean?

People say things about thought too.

I thought it was his cousin or something, and I thought he was just like doing that to make people think he was gay. Oh really, well, I definitely thought he was gay.

That might be his boyfriend.

I don't know.

I ain't look too much into it.

I don't really care that much.

But that brings us to our topic, does it? It does? What are we talking about today?

We're talking about people in your motherfucking business. When you're in a relationship, social media, your friends, your group, chat, your pastor who should you talk about your relationship with? Is it safe to share with anybody? Or should you just keep your relationship with your partner in that scene, we'll get into it when we get back from this commercial.

All right, y'all, so we're back, and just like Tam said, we want to talk about who do you tell your business too? Because I know I tell my business on here, I'm gonna tell my business to tell me.

I literally got bout five people.

I'm gonna tell the same fucking story too until I can't say it no more. And that's not always good because I really be feeling depleted by the end of the fucking evening, bitch, after I told all y'all bitches my relationship bullshit, right, But that's also therapy. That's therapeutic for me to be able to talk to whoever about

How do you feel about that, Terry?

To answer that last question, I think it just depends on who that woman is telling. We already know that most women have that one go to friend that they're gonna, you know, confide in with a certain situations, and the man really might not mind because he already thinks like that person is cool. But I think it just depends on who you telling. You know what I'm saying. But then don't skew it. Don't make it look one sided. Try to be fair if you're telling the story. But

You know, some people be weird those though.

That's the thing some people do. I got a text message this morning that says something about arrows and bowls or some shit like that from somebody I've been ignoring for months, right, And we definitely have a different we have a difference in opinion or a perception of what transpired in that relationship.

So I can tell the story, and we and me and Timmy, we.

Talk about perspective and perception a lot, right, because that's really what's going on now. So I can't I'm telling what I'm telling my friends and whoever, how the relationship with went based on my perspective. Right, the other person probably had a grand old time. Meanwhile, I'm feeling like a maniac over here. I'm the one that's going crazy. You're the cause of it. But this is fun for you. This is your normal setting chaos. This isn't my normal setting.

I hate that part. You hate accountability, yo, I.

Don't mind it because let me tell y'all, I really try to follow the four I think a lot of black women in particularly hate accountability.

I think a lot of people is not just black women.

People, No, No, most people don't like.

Omitting when they're wrong, and a lot of people have trouble saying sorry when they're wrong.

I think we're black.

When I'm conversing with men, almost ninety eight percent of them saying they struggle with women being accountable for their actions.

I agree, black women, I'm not really I wasn't throwing us under the bus, Okay, It's just like I was saying, like, I'd be titting if you tat right, and I feel like when I tat, you should shut the fuck up because you tit me first. So no, I'm not taking accountability for some ship you started that I don't be starting.

Let me tell you, I try to do my best.

That is one of the four agreements, doing your fucking best. I try to do my best in every situation so that after the situation I could be like, you know what, I ain't did that shit?

It was that, nigga.

No, I've definitely started shit and fucked up and made bad decisions and relationships. I can own that, you know, I'm human, I was growing, I was learning. I think I'd be better in the next one. Now, as far as far as telling my business, I would tell it to anybody who would fucking listen. And I didn't learn my lesson in that too, Like especially doing bitches hair and I'm going through something, I'd be sitting there telling these holes my business and then you know, just everybody.

Be Leave that motherfucker bitch.

So the first thing, see, that's one thing I never tell my friends. I never tell my friends to leave their girlfriends. You know what I'm saying, no matter what they did, because one thing I learned, man.

I will I will tell a bitch to leave. But that's if he's like very verbally abusive and hands and yeah, it.

Depends on something like that. Yeah you're getting your behind, you getting your ass kicked, or they're just doing something that they can't take back. It's like, okay, yeah, you have to you know what I'm saying, get the kids.

If you very verbally abusive too, I will the girl. You need to get up out of there. Then he don't respect you.

Yeah, especially if he's calling you out your name. I can say that too.

Well sometimes y'all, just that I don't like Sometimes if you're acting like a bitch, somebody need to tell you.

No, no, no. If you huh no, how you gonna tell him you being a bitch right.

Now you're telling a homegirl that or the man he being a bitch to do that? No, I mean if your dude can't tell you you being a bitch.

All right? Oh okay, I thought you say.

You know I can't call no man, not my man. I want to talk to my man like.

No, if I start calling you a bitch, just kind of go. But if I don't like you.

But if I'm being a bitch and you say, all right, man, you being a bitch, like chill out? I can.

I can?

I can, because sometimes I do, and somebody need to tell me.

You know. See, one thing about men, men are very cooperative women only check it out now, but're not very cooperative with their women. But you got to know how to get that out of him. It's haul on how you talk a woman tongue listen, that they can either lift you up tail ass.

That's true.

You got to know how to talk to them. That nigga will move how you want him to move, but you got to speak it into him. You know, trust me on this, but.

I think it's the same way the other way around.

You know what I'm saying, Like women need a man that's going to affirm them, who want to Who's going to give them words of affirmation depends I've had. I feel like my last couple of relationships, this is where I get this. You gotta talk to me nice. I really mean that shit right, because I was in relationships where motherfuckers was not talking to me nice right. And I'm a one upper, so I find myself being extra nasty to counter your nasty and that's not my normal setting.

Too.

Everybody likes respect right. And you know we talk about this a lot on the show, like niggas always saying how they want peace, but a lot of these niggas are not peaceful. Okay, So you want to be a whole demon and you want me to still be loving. No, you have to be inviting of that type of shit. You cannot walk in the house change the energy at a home and I'm supposed to stow Come over, baby, what's the matter are you? No, y'all need you to be a big man and use your words. Tell me

But but no, that's not fair because sometimes like you need to baby your man every now and then you come home in his energy bad. It's okay to shift the energy in your space. Like maybe he had a real man my energy, but maybe he had a really bad day. Maybe something happened to him that day. He hasn't even had an opportunity to speak on it. And here you come, like, what's wrong with you?

No? I don't say nothing. That's the thing.

I match energy, right, So, and that's that is a problem of mine, right, I match energy. So my attitude depends on you. So if I'm chippery and I'm happy and you come in the house crazy, I'm automatically coming down. Like now I don't feel good because I could feel I could feel your energy. Right, So it's like, exactly, you've now you've completed how I and I've been chilling all day long, feeling great, feeling good, right, But that's

Men?

Are women?

Who's more violent?

I think we're more emotional, But these niggas is more violent than this. When they get emotional, we typically ain't gonna kill nobody. I mean we do sometimes don't get me wrong.

But men go there more than we do.

So'll y'all basically think that a lot of men have a communication.

Is absolutely.

I think, and we just communicate differently.

Well, that's the thing I disagree that men. If we just stay on that men have a communication issue, because men will come into a barbershop or whatever and spill everything out in front of a room full of strangers. Right, So that tells me right there, you don't have a communication issue. I think they have a communication issue with that.

That's still a communication issue.

So if you can tell strangers of what's going on, but you have neglected because I got little toys and tell me all their business. But have you communicated that with your woman so she can course correct the problem.

Most of the time, and most of the time most men who have not communicated that with their women after you ask them, it's mostly it's because that woman having created that space for him to come to her knowing that it's a safe space.

Basically, she have to create that safe face for him to come to him, becau it's already hard coming to woman be vulnerable without it being tossed back in your face.

You know, that's a mean person and I want to get away from that too. That is not a woman thing. That is just a mean person thing when somebody throws your vulnerabilities into your face, because it's happened to me for men, right, So yes, in order to be in a healthy relationship with somebody, y'all got to be able to communicate whatever it is. And that's when me and Tom talk about like open relationships. It's not just about fucking.

We are very vocal when we have a problem with a man.

We tell you until you until you correct the issue, we're gonna keep telling you about it. Men have a tendency of going outside the relationship to resolve the issues. Right, they might go fuck on somebody else to complete their happiness, and they still come home and be disgruntled towards you. They haven't communicated to you what the problem is right so that they can correct, so that you can correct it.

Been sure, I'm telling.

You it comes back to not being a conversation bully. You know what I'm saying. So if your man come to you about an issue, listen, I understand and adjusts.

That's it. It's really simple. But when you hear something coming from your partner and it's on you, it's hard to take accountability for something like that. Damn really pointing out some shit I said or did last last night or yesterday? Why he said then probably trying to you know, process it.

My thing is, I don't like when I'm complaining to you any of my agrievances, and then that's when you take the time to give me your a grievances. When you was upset about whatever you were upset about, you should have told me in that moment, because now it's just coming to me like this makes it okay what I did because of some of the old ship, Like you should have been said that ship. Don't wait till I'm saying something, because.

That's a fact. Don't you use my moment to address something that I'm taking the address?

But do you do y'all consider that maybe this moment stems from a moment that they created. Why I can even go back and say something about what you previously did, Like like I said, I might type type shit, I might not leave right, but you're gonna feel my wrath because I'm gonna put a mirror. I'm gonna show you what you did based off what the funk I'm about to do to your eyes.

But that's manipulation though.

It's just.

If you are upset about something, if you want to rectify, you do it in a loving way.

That's not loving. If this is your person, you need to do.

It in a loving manner because the issue is not the person, is the behavior.

So you attack that the issue. So if you're just.

Yeah, but maybe not intentionally, they're not intentionally hurting you. They're just like, let's talk about cheating, then is that not intentional? When somebody makes a conscious decision, because that's

Yeah right, yeah, but it's not You're not right because you did that.

You just even I'm.

Not saying I'm not I'm not saying I'm right. I'm saying the same way I gave you grace with your situation, let me get mine, or we could just stop all of this, right because I'm only doing what you've got what you're doing basically okay, but you don't think that women are the reason man need a time and place for cheating. But you don't feel like all of that

I be like, yeah, that's even. Let me let me get even with your ass, nigga. That's what that is. No, that's let me show you how it feels. Yeah, let me show you how it feels.

Listen, but show him show him listen you can, you can. You can show him how it feels in the most simplest way. And that ship will sting worse than you sleeping with another man if you just leave. And then if you leave, trust me, that ship will sting worse than a hundred niggas that ran up in you. Which ain't saying gon let hunte niggas unp for you. What I'm saying is you packed your ship and you say, you know what, cool, I'm gona take that l.

Yeah, but you got the first time. What I'm talking about is after you and then now you.

Tell a nigga not to play with you. If he know you capable of doing that, he had no not to play with you. Leave. That's a fair. I'm trying to tell you the reason why most niggas do this because they know y'all ain't going nowhere. She ain't going nowhere. She probably even but she's gonna stay here. If you just said, hmm okay, James, I know you slept with Kim and it's cool. Your ship already packed, you know what I'm saying, Your car already packed, gas already full,

N then she might you might lose your life. So my suggestion, bitches, leave you left.

You're on the phone, right, Yeah, you left already. You gotta be real strategic with this thing and calculated. You're already left, telling you and they're gonna be coming back, hands and knees crawling. Baby, I'm sorry to Yeah, that.

Was my mistake leaving the last relationship I told the nigga I was leaving. I should have just already been gone and then like, yeah, I'm out. Ahad that ship.

But leaving ain't always easy as just packing it up the next day being out, You got it.

You have to strategically plan that ship. Mm hmm.

That's a fact, especially if you you know, we're talking about just regular people that dating. If you're married. I would never tell about.

Taking peles like small pebbles at a time, baby, small moving it from here today. That's like a bird. But that's where I was at when I left. I was like moving like so my last little bit of shit. I'm like, dog, I'm taking all this ship today and I ain't never coming back.

Come back. This nigga get home is one wire hanger in the closet for.

Y'all. Do y'all think it's levels the cheating what you mean?

Yes?

There are emotional, financial, sexual online?

Yeah?

Yeah, definitely, what's the simplest what do you what do y'all think the simplest level of cheatiness? Internet sport?

Niggas? Just listen. I like to frightenize a little bit. I like it, okay, And I think that anybody I'm in my next relationship with need to understand like I'm a flirt.

I feel like it's natural. A lot of people are flirts.

A lot of people are flirt but some people they'll be flirting while you're making it a problem for your partner to be flirting. You know what I'm saying.

Let's just be honest that this is normal human behavior.

And it's not like something that should happen every single day, but the occasion, like you want to feel like you still got it a little bit. You know what I'm saying, Niggas is checking for me. Nigga, don't get it. Don't get me fucked up. Okay, that's a slippery slope. That's a slippery slope because first kid, you mess around and slip on a banana piel and land on somebody. Why no, no, baby. I feel.

I think that the simplest form of cheating is communicating with somebody while keeping it away.

From your partner.

You don't want your partner to know you're just communicating.

It could be texted.

That's the Internet sport.

Yeah, that's like the simplest.

That's snap Chat. Ship messages disappear. Now, that's where the cheaters at the cheaters is on Snapchat.

Let me tell you where the cheaters. Let me tell you where the cheater is really at Android users. If that nigga don't want no iPhone. He don't want to be facetimed, bitch. He don't want you to be able to FaceTime.

And that was me for years. I always used to be like, iPhone is for fucking stalkers. That's why I don't want to eye for y'all. Niggas want to see when I see the message y'all want to see where I'm at iPhone is how I got caught up in my last situation. This nigga like really was logged into my ship and he had that fucking that that find my phone ship on.

Yeah.

If your nigga got an Android, he hiding some ship, bitch.

Yeah, I don't even when I see it back to android and nigga text me and it's green, I'd be like, oh, nigga, you toxics full.

Yeah, let's try to get back on topic a little bit. As far as like telling people about your relationships. Okay, like I said, I'm uh I do that ship. I definitely be telling people ship. Niggas be mad. They be mad because they you know. I guess you gotta be careful who you're telling your shit too, because I don't want to like once I'm good, but my man, I don't need you like acting nasty towards something because I told you some ship that he pissed me off about.

Hi, James, that's how you speak to your friend nigga because some shit he did. Yes, yeah, be like that, So you gotta be careful if you're gonna stay with him and you know you ain't leaving. You gotta be careful what you tell him because your family ain't gonna want him as a cookout, you know, right.

Yeah, there are some things even like in any relationship I've ever been in, if my partner did something, I'd be like, I want to tell somebody, but nah, I don't want them.

And you don't want people to judge you for staying with somebody, judge you yourself.

I love my friend, but that's this week ass bitch boy, she keeps saying with that nigga, I just be listening.

I don't say nothing.

I hate to sound like this, but that's a woman thing. Like men don't tell they homeboys nah, because they know you ain't leaving. I've heard mos sleep women tell different.

What Meanwhile, they'll say situation.

Take them in private.

The people I tell my ship too, is the ones that I know that ain't just gonna be like agreeing and full agreeance with me all the time. Like I have certain people like aj my best friend Takia Janee, They'll and Ryan, They'll tell me. They'll like tell me and don't care if I'm mad, don't care if I'm like trying to combat them with how I feel. They be like, no, bitch, you're wrong. Bitch I said you're wrong,

You know, I need them.

I need them to No.

No, you need them. But I'm saying them the ones they gonna tell you you right every time.

Sometimes sometimes when I'm on my toxic time, I just go to them so I can be like, I'm right.

Ain't a bit the valide?

Yeah you right, you bitch, I knew you was on my side.

Yes, man, yes, But then I feel like my own boys when they call me, I'm I'm fair across the board because I know you, nigga, Like I know what you do. I know what you came for love, So if you tell me some ship, I'd be like, all right, but you know you, okay, so you understand I know you for twenty years. I know what you did. What are you talking about? She did this? Okay? But what you did to cause this? Oh?

That was okay for a third party to point out what they did, but it's not okay for if the partner herself is saying we I did this because you did this.

That's not okay though.

That's for that, like you said, right.

But why is it okay outside the relationship.

When he do it, you need to address it right there, like Tam said.

I agree, I address it right there. I don't wait till he brings something you to bring up something he did. No, no, no, that's not what I'm saying.

So I okay, I consciously like it's for sure now and I'll see how it actually goes in my next relationship. I'm not letting nothing fester. And it's so I told Tammy, I'm and I told multiple people this this year. I'm not arguing with nobody no more. I'm just not doesn't make me feel good. I don't feel well. I physically feel sick when I argue with people, right, So I'm

With somebody I know. I wasn't supposed to be with.

So now I'm learning to nipshit in the bud soon because I have foresight right that me and this person gonna be arguing a lot. I'm saying, like the back and forthness, like I am not, I'm not into it anymore. Right, So if we cannot effectively communicate from day one, I'm not fucking with you.

Hmmm. I'm just not doing it.

Because you gotta learn people.

You gotta learn.

People, you know, but you also got to meet people with the I don't have to do to do that.

What I'm saying, show you whant somebody, show you exactly who they are.

I disagree.

Do you see how many times black men will be at they wait and be like she made me a different man, She changed me, She helped me to grow into the man I am.

I'm so grateful for you because sometimes these niggas be me and not just the me and the women too. You know, they come into each but each I don't change much. We're getting older. People don't change much. So who you meeting today, what's going to be going on going forward?

Like I I disagree with you, that's fine, you can meet somebody and what I'm saying is I don't want constant compromise.

I don't want constant compromise in a relationship. I do you know what I'm saying. I want constant compromise.

I want someone who's willing to compromise with me at all times because they love me and I love them, so instead of us button heads, we're compromising for each other.

I think you mistaken what I'm saying. In a relationship, there should be a meeting of the minds to where there is not always constant compromised, because what constant compromise means is that you're constantly bumping heads with this person and somebody has to digress every single time. I don't want that in a relationship. You should be able to have a partner that y'all have a meeting in the minds where y'all agree a lot of times. Y'all agree

What I'm saying. You understand what I'm saying.

Now, I get what you're saying, But I think I think compromise is always necessary in a relationship, and you're not always going to agree and see things exactly the same.

Oftentimes opposite to track. You're with somebody who isn't exactly like you, and that's why you're going to compromise. But compromise doesn't have to be a negative thing, you know. I think people if you compromise something that's negative, and it doesn't have to be. It's just about ebb and flow and give and takee.

You know, I think to respond to both of you. I think that in any relationship, especially if it's new, each person have to ask every question they need to ask. Don't wait later and then you find out damn, I ever knew this motherfucker, think like this, this is crazy and you really think like that's norm You have't been talking to somebody you like yes, Like yeah, you'd be like, look at that's not normal, Like what That's why in the beginning you need to ask every necessary question.

You need to ask whatever them questions may.

Be, because later on your five years in damn this thing is like the way his draws inside out and said put him in the dirty clothes, You'll be like.

Get yeah, like what would you ask to know that?

Like it's like that you only go learn about people by being with it, living with them, like.

You're sitting there and they're like, do you want do you watch? You watch where you wear your draws? Twice?

Like you can't ask nobody that.

No, no, you wash clothes every week? Gonna be two weeks? You shall we use wash clod or loofah or just the soap. Nigga might be like, I just use my hand.

You know You're gonna be like this bitch is weird. She asking weird? Ask questions, you know what I'm saying.

You might be like, what that's what I'm saying that these are the questions you might need to ask. It might be like low debatable questions like what you thinking about like people using wash rags, you know, sponges, and might be like, ship, I don't use none of that. Ship You'll be like, will you I use my hand? Like what?

Because European people don't use wash clothes like that and washlots who hold a lot of bacteria. So really using your hands to take a shower with the soap bar itself is not really a bad thing, Like we use washwrags in the Western I remember I went to Grenada. They didn't even exist wash rags, because they do if you're not using a new one every single day. It's holding bacteria, so at least with soap, like the bacteria slides off.

That's the slippery thing is. So if somebody says, why use my hand to.

Wash like, I'll be like, okay, now you ain't sliding your hand up your ass, crag?

Are you just say the nigga take his hand, take the damn thing and squeez.

Yeah, that's how they do in England and stuff like that. And the hotels.

Doesn't even you in the shower, y'all take the shower. I don't like.

Don't wear the same draws twice. That's a problem for me. And don't try to use them shots. Oh that be uh them gem shots be stinking the cross area.

I bet you the areas all type of ship right there.

I used to make my nigga like when he came back from the gym, take them ships off in the garage.

Nigga, that ship smell bad. How does that coming off for you?

I think they like it.

Listen, my gym boyfriend, that nigga hands be so stink. One day I smell his hands. He was like, I love how that ship smelled. Make me feel like I'm getting it in what I smelled? Bacteria, bitch, that's what I smell. If you don't them gloves in the trash, nasty bastard.

So what's the what's the questions that you feel like you need to ask a woman?

Number one for me? Hygiene? That's number one.

Yes, hygen, that's self explanatory.

Okay, what you're gonna ask her?

Like, Yeah, what kind of body watch you use? You smell good the other.

Day, But that don't mean she got good HII she could use that that best once a week.

I used. That's how you started. You started like that. They y'all going to you know what I'm saying. I used, So.

That's all she used.

Dry listener, you got bad hygiene. Out of it.

I don't care how fine you was. You got bad hygiene. I'm out of it.

Okay, But that's that's basic.

What else.

Different questions about that hygiene?

Let me tell you, like just most women washing the body regularly, that is not true.

You were off a lot of people struggling with hygiene problems. I'm telling you, that's why we putting it on Facebook in the morning that morning. Fellas, don't forget to take a shower. Yeah, you got to tell.

People that don't.

Because a lot of people be taking baths and dirty showers.

Yeah, start worry about cleaning the tough second clean. You gotta clean first to have the tough get dirty. If the top clean and you ain't washing wash, that's first, clean a tough second, people will be like, that's clear. You gotta tell people that, Yes, we all know somebody or know somebody that knows somebody who struggle with hygiene. Even in college, everybody had that one roommate or friend

I might watch too much though, so like I know some people might skip even in a bath. I don't. I can't, like, I can't, like even if I like, take a shower right now and I run outside to the store and I don't leave the house for the rest of the day, Like I still have to take a shower right before bed, right, everybody don't do that. So if I have a partner who like we we go out and he comes in and then get in the bed, and I.

Took a shower, like, don't be right.

I'm like looking at you a little bit from the side, even though you might still smell that you might have took a shower right before we went out, And my mind is like I have to excuse some things, right, because maybe it's me that I washed so much.

Now that's a compromise that you talking about that, Yeah, because it's funny.

You come in and he drunk and want to fuck me real hard, and I don't want to wait.

Sometimes I can, Okay, we can start in the shower, my nigga.

Sometimes that energy you kind of fuck it up with it. Sometimes the energy just be like, come here, get me on the counter, right that your.

Mouth is for a bit, you can get it back together.

I don't want no nigga who gotta come in and fold up his clothes before we fuck, Like, oh, I'm gonna after this you sleep.

Might that man might be O C D one.

Listen, I'm not gonna get Yes, you know what I don't like, Like I love hotel sex, but I always side I a nigga who puts his clothes on the hotel floor, like even in your own home, like, get your clothes off the fucking floor. I don't like that. So me if my nigga falling ship up before you fuck me, like I'm cool, like hang your ship up or whatever.

How it is you coming y'all, ain't coming in the room and just taking clothes. TV it real, baby, that's y'all been out on the town. Y'all had a good time. Y'all feeling good.

Shot before you touch me. Oh my god, I swear, I swear I've been feeling.

So clammy clean.

We showered before we left, but I don't feel like that. That's what I'm saying.

It could be with me, so that.

And not the pictures off the wall, bitch, come not the pictures off the wall. I had this what nigga, we got all the pictures off the wall. We was all on the counter like, Yes, that's the energy I like.

I mean, if we said we're going out at nine thirty, we both showered at eight, we get back at one. We're clean.

No, it depends we're just sitting down.

It just depends we've been touching door knobs and ship and now you want to put that in my hands. If I feel like, if I I feel like I do a smell check, if I feel like a little musty, I'll be like, all right, no, baby, wait a minute, but if I feel clean, take out of me these titties, y'all.

Think y'all, TITTI is gonna be having a little older from eight pm to one.

Sweeties, titties, I ain't got enough to titties a little smaller the wheaties.

Titties said baby, yes, okay, down in the middle, like.

I'm definitely what I'm definitely, I'm definitely going to do a smell check on my vagina before I feed it to you.

So I need niggas that washed just as much as me as with all I'm saying. And I have had that. I have had men who he takes just as many showers as I do. Like that's on my list of things. Okay, yes, that's one of my deal breakers. Sometime the energy you so you ain't never came in and was like, oh when we getting that door, boy, and he was like, no, let me go, I'm about.

To take a shower when we get in that door, and I'm the latest.

When I get out.

Yes, you know, listen, you know some men like that natural vagina smell.

That's the pheromones you washing all your pheromones, your vagina.

It's not stink. Just relax and let him stink.

Have it.

Not about it being stink.

It's clean, it's clean.

It's clean, your vagina self clean. It's not even about my vagina because the vagina's covered up. It's about the skin that was exposed outside. Girl, you are up the earth, you are up the earth. It's okay. We're from a different tribe. I ain't trying to explain shit to y'all no more. My tribe were the perst civilized tribe. Okay. We used to take it.

If I take a shower, a good, good shower at eight thirty pm, I get dressed, were in the room. We probably ain't leaving until ninety five, So we get back at one am. I'm clean, I know I'm clean fresh.

It depends on that we were sweating, Like if we were sweating heavy, then okay. But if we're not sweating, I'm okay.

We do. You were walking walking down to be hog, going to.

This time to be hot. We was at the main event, right, We was at the main event, and little Wayne came home, was like.

Right, So.

It just depends.

But I'm not going to ruin the moment with a full my clothes up, hang your pants up?

What I lean?

My pennies and the ball on the floor. If it ain't, it wasn't good.

Just don't win.

That's me. I don't win, that's for real. Did y'all be packing so many panties when I go out of town and bitch, don't wear that panties. I don't even know why I'm doing this.

Bitch, belly wear bras. Okay, just packing ship the package, y'all.

But we're gonna take a break right quick, and when we come back, we're gonna get a simp story from Terry.

Okay, way to say this.

But y'all we back. Tam had to take a ship, all right.

Why you gotta tell everybody my business? I had, everything came out, all right. It was Starbucks, man, I had Starbucks.

Hey, he's definitely a diarrhetic diuretic, yes for me as well. All right, all right, Terry, Now we want to hear about this this sim story.

Oh man, I remember it like it was yesterday. Go ahead, This is like I think, all right, eight or nine. I used to go to Atlanta to go see my homeboys and party with them. Back back in the day. So I met this chick. It was at Compound exchange phone numbers, but I was leaving the next day, so I'm like, all right, I'll call her when I get home. You connect with schedule. Were talking on the phone every day, everything going good. So she started taking the conversation to

All right, cool, you already know what we're talking about.

So I said, all right, I'm gonna come see you, right and uh, we agreed to a date. I'm already anticipating everything you saying you're gonna do. Oh I feel like such a sympom. So I hit up Aging, right. I head up Aging and like, Yo, I'm coming to Atlanta. She was living in Atlanta. I'm like, yo, I'm just there for like a day and a half. I can get a room, but let me just crash on the couch. She's like, all right, cool, boom, get there, Boom, hit

Atlantic Atlantic Station.

That's where it was at. Go this nice restaurant, right, she ordering drinks. I'm ordering drinks. I'm like, oh, okay, we lit boom. I'm holding the dope. And for trying to be a gentleman, she asked for the man. The bill came out to like three eighty four with tip. Yes, this spot. I didn't she picked the spot. I'm like, all right, cool. I had a little bit of cheese at the time of little something. The bill came out of like three. I never really I was like, oh

Wow, hold on what you mean what you thought? Because you bought her dinner and drink? She owe you some pussy. Nah. She was talking about.

Talking like that. She was talking heavy like that.

She initiated, she.

Was talking like. I was like, all right, cool, Like.

So she made you think that it was up.

And then I got back to South Carolina hit her up. A nigga answered the phone.

I'm like, oh yeah, there's this story.

Don't be calling my girl phone. I'm like, oh god. And that was it. Man. I drove three hours, then three hours back and spent almost four hundred dollars plus gas.

You came back with he came to visit me. That's it.

I appreciate it. Actually didn't open her doors. I had to spend on the hotel. I appreciate her for that.

You spent the hotel money on that. You ain't get.

Everybody got everybody, and I had a few of them, but that one stuck up. That one stuck out the most. Man. I was like, oh god, yeah, we all got.

At least you got a grown up story. Some of these guys be talking about high school lunch money.

That don't count. I was a young adult then.

But.

Money back then.

I'm telling you it's the alcoholic beverages.

That's what it was. She kept ordering drinks like top shelf drinks, like.

You got her drunk for the next nigga, go ahead, if you went out on the day with the girl, and she ordered four trays of oysters and ate all of them, and the bill came out high and a bunch of drinks. Would you leave her there? Did y'all see that with a girl? I saw that.

I saw that I wouldn't leave her there. But in the process of her order, I'm like, yo, good, I'm gonna say something.

All right, you can't now you're just being greed Like.

Come on now, oss, we could have went the highs that house, bitch.

Yeah, that's what people got to know. Man. Well, I'll just say this, women, if a man is going to take you out of the day, he asks you, he's fronting the bill everything.

There's a certain level of class you gotta have when ordering.

If he's paying the bill, what the fun? Basically, don't just take advantage of this just because I'm pain. We can tell when you're just trying to be greedy versus hey, we just hunger. Youre trying to get something to eat. Don't think of this, nigga. Pan.

I'm like, I want to I ain't gonna lie. I'm gonna get what I want. But you know what, let me tell you, especially when I.

Can I get not can I get some more oysters? I'm asked.

Uh, when I used to go out with drug dealers, I'd be like, the money are scammers, like the money supplies, use all them that, Uh what a gift cards?

My boy car good? But like I got a whole Charlotte bitch, we be running it up.

But if he but we're talking about average the working man, and I'll because I'll be conservative, be conservative.

But I had to learn that.

I didn't realize that.

Like I was ordering drink after drink and then I looked and he was looking like.

Nervous about the bell. I was like, damn, this ain't a jointing lost and banking app and all that.

Working man he's gonna he's gonna be calculating his head.

And then he kept saying he didn't want nothing else.

I was like, okay, you know what. He probably can't.

So I was like, no, the fact that he just don't want to break our help, like I'll pay for my drinks.

He's like, no, no, no, man, you ain't gotta do that. You ain't gotta do that.

But I felt I'm.

Felt bad after I realized this ain't a drug dealer and scammer.

This is a and it's not even about him not being able to afford it. It's just like some people don't want to spend that type of money on entertainment, especially entertaining a bit he may not get pussy from. Like that's really what it falls down to. That.

So it's understandable. And let's be very clear.

When young girls go eat, I'll go look at a black woman's table when it's for them.

No, it looks like a buffet. Right, I still would eat like that by myself. Don't get a twisted.

I didn't come with you.

I didn't come with you and run it up in a way I read it up by myself.

Right.

See, y'all be trying to act cute on fun, not me. Y'all know y'all be hungry. Some of y'all know y'all be hungry. And she'd be like, oh, I'm just gonna get ah.

That was twenty year old me, Yo, that's.

All you're gonna eat. But I done heard women say I don't want to look. I don't want him to be like I'm greedy. I don't want to look.

He need to know who he getting involved with.

I could telling nigga.

Fact right, I've been telling the nigga before we go.

I'm like, we're your wallet because I'm bringing my appetite.

Like that. That's good though. We want you to be comfortable and eat, but at the same time have like dining CURDI just be courteous, like have some cool like don't be like, oh yeah for appetiser, let me get the she crab soup and me get the cocktails. And for my aunt, I'm going to get the rabbi medium.

That's not right.

Go to big theme vegetables, shrimp skewers grilled on both sides.

If you see my drink low, just bring another.

He's gonna be like, well, god damn. She mustn't get out much.

She's just taking advantage of the opportunity.

Yes she do, yes, the yes.

How often people eating shrimp skewers and steak surfing turf.

I'm saying, when I come back here, which is often, this is my spot, they know me. I did the same ship.

Problem him.

I definitely take all my niggas in the same place, and if I catch you in there with another bitch, is gonna be a motherfucking problem. I own this place. I'm clearing the table if I catch you in here when somebody else introducing people to my place, like you know where it's good to eat at.

Boy, that's funny, y'all. I do say, don't be bringing nobody no place.

I don't introduce you to yrus. Now you're impressing the next bitch with my again.

You see? Yeah, what's up? Yeah? Here, what's going on?

Put this drink on their tab over there, the nigga over there, No.

Sir, I yeah, bring somebody to the restaurant.

I put them because what are you doing? You don't even notice place existed.

I come over the table like, so did your peace?

I break Clara Terry? Yeah, okay, well y'all enjoy girl, don't lick them. Yeah, y'all, let's get out of here. We run it all forever.

Can you log into your my chart for me, please, sir?

That's crazy, yo.

That might be. That might be the new thing. Y'all might have to tell motherfuckers to pull up that my chart. If a nigga don't got my chart, it's problem. Just air dropping. Air drop your my chart before we go out on the day.

Yeah, why would I have to do that? I don't even know if we're gonna sleep together.

That's the only way you're gonna considering it. Yeah, right, I'm considering fucking. That's the thing now, y'all be thinking. Y'all got some control over whether or not we fuck. Nah, and we already calculating that l A F N score and ahead. Okay, we we we thinking about fucking you already. We just need to We needed more information.

I was tell me this too, I said, Usually when you meet a woman and you're thinking, she already, you already got it. You just gotta get it.

I don't fumble it, right.

Don't fumble it. Don't fumble it. So just don't say nothing stupid, don't talk yourself out of it. You'll be all right, be cool, you'll be.

All right, y'all.

That's our homeboy, lo T Terry and I I ain't talk about your mam at this time. I ain't gonna talk about her, man low T. I did talk about her before on this show, but not this episode, like literally last weekliaus lady, go ahead.

Tooous lady. Okay, she still got here too. All right, y'all listen.

If you enjoyed this episode, tune in every Thursday on the iHeart Radio appor wherever the fuck you get your podcast at.

This is your co host a j Holiday.

It's two point zero on Instagram, y'all follow me now if you won't get on. What's up y'all? It's official Tambam On Instagram, y'all follow me. I love y'all.

Thanks for y'all fortunity in Terry before you go, do you want to plug anything?

You're at barbershop? Tell people where to come get a cute anything like that.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Yes, it's Terry on Instagram, I am I am so Choston as I A M S O. Charleston C H A R L E S T O N Instagram. Hit me up. I'm in Columbus, South Carolina. Shout out to Bennedict.

DC GC A best barber Yes, awesome.

I appreciate y'all. Man, see y'all in a few days.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, yeah a few days, y'all. If y'all listening and you in Columbia, South Carolina or I shout out to all the Benedict College alumni. This weekend is Bendict Benedict's homecoming. We will be hosting a party.

Damn, what's the name of the god?

Damn please Stammy.

Sixty the former The Weekend. Yeah, that's where we at, y'all, and I might hop on the mic.

Man.

I hope they let me do what the funk I want to do, bitch, because I like to rock the mic. Remember speak now and never hold your peace our feet or what you want to eat at a restaurant order what the stomach, bitch. This is by