Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.
Talk Talk Talk. We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.
What's up?
Y'all?
Thank you for tuning in for a new episode that We Talk Back. That show dedicated to you dreamers and chasers. What's up? Tam Bam Oh, it's your co host, AJ Holling.
You had to think about it. You know who you wanted to dedicate it to.
Today we dedicated to all the baby mama's, baby Mama's mamas.
Hey, y'all, I love y'all. It's tam Man. I love you. AJ. How you doing?
Love it to a girl I'm doing?
How was she trying to relax? How was your weekend?
The moving, moving and moving and moving? Still trying to get organized? Y'all? Be so glad when I am situated so I can think clearly you still got any house? No bitch, I have me a very plushed with. First of all, like betting is very important to Linen's s Fair, Peacock, those are my favorite betting brands. And I got me a good ass Stern and Foster. Okay, I don't know what that is multiple level. It's a mattress se Yeah, I got me a good bag, or I got to
sleep good. And that's one thing. I'm about to make these T shirts that say I love to lay down. That's one of my favorite things to do on your back, shit back. I definitely love it from the side, because nobody got to do a whole lot of work from the side. Listen, choked me a little bit from the side.
What did I do this weekend? Oh, it was one of my friends, Lexi. She was on the show recently. It was her thirtieth birthday, so we had a death to her twenties celebration and everybody came dressed in black. It was a good time. We went on the rooftop. They had it catered. It was a really good time. We had fun at night. That's all I really did, and then went to work.
Yeah, I saw her content for her birthday. Yeah, birthday, Lexi.
Heavy birthday, Lexi. We love you. All right, let's get it to the sins.
I remember when I was thirty, but yeah, it was just.
A couple of years ago from me. All right, so let's get into it. Christina mack Baby, Christina Mackie was so in love just a couple of weeks ago with Rick Ross, and now it seems they broke up, and it was video of Rick Ross in the club with
another Redbone chick. And I just feel like when you start with a guy, you don't need to be publicly too too loud and proud, honestly, especially with them types of men, because your videos don't age well oftentimes, like you all loud and proud and strong and wrong and now he off with the next battie and it's embarrassing. So Christina McKie, I guess that was a life lesson for you. Keep your ship, keep your relationships private and to yourself.
What's she here for? For a good time not a long time? Okay? So she got a pair of teeth out the deal, she got some some internet cloud me be good or bad. She still has a whatever she thinks she's got out the relationship.
She got like some type of business and she's selling something and she set herselves went up. So I mean that's good. Yeah, that's good.
That's a plus. But I just still can't let a nigga like Rick Ross do me like that publicly, like what you mean an like okay, do y'all listen, do y'all follow to your MP Rick Ross baby Baba like she always be putting the camera on her feet and she'd be standing like Penny proud like. And I realized she does that be because that's how Rick rossby. That's his stamp.
Oh yeah, he do got a bad bitch.
It's not really a bad bitch stance. It's like a pigeonholed bull leg stance.
Like you know that last minute I see with his shirt off where he had them feet cocked to the side. I was like, Amn, Okay, I.
Just couldn't, man, I just couldn't. Y'all aim for the stars, because then you can understand why a nigga playing with you.
I like, I just don't understand. I'm a fan of Rick Ross. He seemed like he got a good personality in the sense of humor.
I'm pretty sure he's fun He's very funny when not even trying to be funny. But no, not, no, you don't get to play with me publicly like that, So yeah, keep your dumb bitch shit to yourself.
Listen, don't nobody get to play with me publicly. I don't post, I don't say who I don't know, like when I when it's over, don't nobody even know it started? Honestly, I ain't never told nobody shit, I ain't had a nigga since Tupac died, so public publicly publicly.
Yeah, just be quiet. So next on the roster is Drey and Michaels. Okay, she just revealed that she is pregnant for her twenty two year old boyfriend I've believed in a relationship of Jalen Green, and they're overjoyed. Okay, so she's thirty nine, allegedly because I could have sworn Drea was older than us.
But okay, yeah, I'm just trying to figure out how bitches is getting closer and closer in age to me. That was grooner than me when we was young. So I don't know. That's crazy.
Yeah, So I mean, to each of their own, I'm not fucking with a twenty two old nigga. I don't pick up dick and drop it off and I'll pack bag lunches even though he has a check. It's just a little bit manipulative to me for a woman that season to be on someone's twenty two year old son. Because I mean, men already age slower than women mentally like the maturity, right, so what's the conversations? Like, what are y'all talking about?
TikTok there? Tiktoking. I remember when I had my young nigga and we was this is a while ago, and I think this is like right when TikTok came out. We was making a TikTok together, and I was like trying to pick a song. This nigga gonna say, it ain't gonna be no luther on there, so just.
Hurry up, boy, fuck you. I wasn't looking for the Luther. I was looking for Anita Baker.
I don't see nothing wrong with fucking with I like my I like younger niggas. I don't like twenty two.
That's a baby. That's too acne.
He's stole, no facial hair.
Jump, it's a kid.
He could run and jump on my bed. Like that's a problem.
I do that, so they ain't a problem. I am a kid, I'm childish as fuck.
But don't jump on my bed.
Grow your ass, no shoes on, but just yeah, I like jumping on a bed.
What you need to grow up?
She says, So she says, and actually she said they're having a girl. Okay, doing May of this year. Drea says, as a woman, we navigate through so much, often leading us to question what is my purpose? She wrote in a lengthy Instagram post an International Woman's Day For me, the magic lies in motherhood and the awe inspiring ability to bring life into the world over a span of two decades. It's my superpower And if anyone excuse me, and if anything can surpass the wonder of being a
woman is the privilege of bringing another woman into existence. Okay, you wanted another child. Do you think that it's possible that she's like washed up with grown men that she's now like on the playground.
No, she's still fine as hell.
She is fine as hell, But is her track work a bad? Like with older men, Like, we know who you are, so this is why you're on the playground trying to get the kids.
These old men is still trying to knock Drea down. Don't get it twisted.
But are they keeping her? That's what I'm saying. I don't know, but yeah, you can get a man to fuck all day long. Like when women be thinking it's a flex, I'm sure it's still they want me, But do are they keeping you? It's a difference.
I'm sure she could keep a grown man, and she wanted to. There's so many of them out there, right, and she I don't know, she just wanted that young nigga. I don't know how it happened. Maybe he was playing video games with her son and she walked by and saw his little braid hanging down and was like, yeah, that's it.
You saw Bernice Burgoho's daughter. She was on lip service, on Angelie's lip Service, and she said, how her mama like young guys too, Like, so whenever a guy toops in her DM, she has to go see if he's been in her mama DM first before she responds back to Bernie's virgos. Yeah, her daughter though, the daughter.
Damn, I ain't trying to compete with my mama for niggas. That's sucks them.
Some fine moments, yeah them, some fine ass moments.
Yeah.
Speaking of fine ass moments, how about this damn nigga rx Hector, this rapper who just got out of prison recently had a birthday party for his mom. She beat cancer, she's alive, all the good shit. She got a fatty, he got a fatty. She got a super fatty okay, And he's on video smacking that fatty and then she starts making that fatty clap clap for him, for her son, or for whoever's watching.
Yeah, I don't think there was a sexual I don't think there's a sexual relationship between him and his mama. But I just think that the boundaries that needed to be there aren't there, because why is you patting your mama on the ass like that?
But it was if it was a daughter doing it, we wouldn't be looking at it crazy.
Right, But that's my mama. Ask that's because we can walk around in the like past each other naked in the house as women, and that's normal. But you can't just be walking past your son naked as a mom right.
When some people probably do. I can say if I have a kid like a son, like maybe it depends on it.
Yeah, once they get like a little like a big boy.
M because I like to be naked my whole family.
Yeah, I'm a naked one too. I love to be naked. I don't like having on clothes that much. But if I had a son, it's a time when it's no longer Okay, for you to have your body parts around him. So him slapping, I like that him and his mom is cool and they can have fun together and stuff like that. I appreciate that relationship as adults. You know, some people don't talk to or see their mama, But slapping on her on the ass, like yeah, my mom got a fat ass.
It's crazy. I feel like he grabbed it a little bit too. Am I tripping? I feel like he like smack, like you would think he was at the strip club.
But I don't think it was like he proud that his mama. Fine, I don't think it was like, yeah, I tap that. If that was my mama, I fucked the shit out of you. Like nah, I don't think it was that energy. It's just inappropriate.
She's at a birthday party. Where is her man at this birthday party? Y'all think I'd be tripping when I say, I don't fuck with niggas with mamas. If you have a mama, if you have a mama, she has to be in a healthy relationship with a man. If you got a sister, she has to be in a healthy relationship with a man. If you have adult daughters, they have to be in healthy relationships with a man because I'm not competing right with these women that you're related
to for your relationship. Yeah, I'm not competing with it.
Yeah.
I can almost imagine like if he's financing her whole life in a way, because a lot of boys they can't wait to get older so they can take care of their mom because they never saw a man do it. Now you get a woman, and you got to compete with the mom. H I can that's the type of relationship. And I can tell that she's really young, she's not
an old mom. Also, I don't know how old the son is, but it could be a situation where you fourteen having a baby, Like y'all literally grew up together, you're and your child, so y'all have a different relationship, Like y'all are friends more than more so than daughter, and I mean son and mom. That's what I'm seeing. I don't think is anything sexual with them. But some women, particularly black women, right, they think they own their adult sons. So it's a problem when that adult son gets a
woman in their life. Was first of all, Momy, you ain't sucking this dick, right. That's why I.
Never feel like I'm in competition because I can do something that you're just not gonna do. So I don't never feel.
Like you remember that. Listen. No, I'm not sucking my son, dick, but listen, it's a girl who had a threesome with a and son and she was saying how the mom was Gowking three thousand the son girl?
You black girl.
You didn't see that. She's been on multiple podcasts.
No, that's disgusting.
It happened. And listen, yesterday I started googling that makes my stomach turn mother son relationships and it's a lot of people.
Not these are not black people.
But this was a black girl on the podcast.
It was the people that she was sleeping with. Were they black?
I saw a Hispanic couple doing it. Well, not a couple because it's a mom and son. But do you remember last year six this boy randomly appeared at the doorsteps of a church, all disheveled in a blanket, and it was a guy, a boy that they had been looking for since he was sixteen seventeen years old. Come to find out, his mom had him hostage basically all these years in the house and had people thinking that was her husband, but it was her son the whole time that was supposed missing hispanic.
That's insane.
Yes, I think sometimes it could be reversed. But some mothers may have an affinity for their sons and it could be if.
You are doing it with your son, they need to take you out back and put you down because you don't need to be you don't need to be allowed to make any more children. You got the game fucked up and that's disgusting.
Girl. We and Babylon this is about right for where we're at. There's a lot of shit that go on that don't make sense that normal people but are Maybe we might not be the normal people the Czy.
I don't give a fuck. I just won't be normal then because ain't nothing. I ain't doing none of that motherfucker shit.
All right. So last on the docas so Monye's slaughters open up about her decision to terminate her pregnancy in twenty twenty two, after she was accused of lying about being with child. So the Love and Hip Hop Hollywood veteran tearfully shared via Instagram live on Monday, March eleventh that she he was forced to end a pregnancy due
to a heart condition at twenty nine weeks long. In the emotional video, she is seen wiping her tears as she says, for everybody that's calling me a liar about my pregnancy, if you were there for me, I love you. I appreciate you. You saw the medical papers and the ultrasounds, and you were there for me on the day of my DNC. I gratefully excuse me. I'm grateful. I am tired calling out those who didn't believe her about being
pregnant or her marriage. The outspoken star continue to say that if you can't believe that I was married to my husband because you think I lied about the pregnancy, a pregnancy I bled out three times for da da da da. I think people initially thought that she was just saying she just randomly had an abortion at twenty nine weeks. I don't understand that it was her or
the baby that had a heart condition. But this isn't abnormal, and maybe people don't call it an abortion when it's a medical procedure when you have to terminate a pregnancy. But she ultimately either her or the baby had a problem and they had to end of pregnancy.
Yeah, it's a very that's a very very sad thing. It's a very very sad topic. And it's crazy to even if she is lying, which I think she isn't, But it's crazy to even accuse her of that. Let her have it, you know, let her have it. If she's saying, you know, she was pregnant, people, why are people calling her? Her own mom is saying she's lying though, that's crazy.
And twenty nine weeks is like seven months, so she would have been showing. So is it possible that she wasn't showing? Is this you know, maybe the baby.
I see her pregnant, but maybe the baby wasn't growing properly inside her like it could have been all kinds of reasons. Why, you know, my heart goes out to her, you know, if this really happened to her, I'm sorry. That shit sucks, it does.
I don't know. Child, These actors and actresses be kind of wild.
Well is she really? She's a reality star, so she's not even like an actor? Is she? They show up?
I think so A lot of that stuff be bullshit. A lot of that stuff be scripted reality TV. Masika came out and said that she was acting basically.
A lot of that is acting. Okay, Well, that's fair. Well, I hope she's not acting about this, because that's that's a lot.
No. She came out and said she was acting about being pregnant, not like Academy Award winner.
And I'm talking about my knees. I hope that what she's saying is not an act, because that's bad carme Coin's baby if it is. But she said she got her tube side after all of this, so she's not trying to be a mom anymore naturally anywhere. All right, hold on, I just want to revert back to something. I know we talked about, Drea, but they're saying that Drake might be dating Lotto's little sister who's a twenty one year old. And that's, like I said, sixteen year
of difference. And I don't think, how do you feel about that? Is it okay for him to do it and not dream?
No? It's you know, people always like so the women in the comments are always like, when men do it, men do it? Listen, we are better than men. The sooner y'all realize that, the sooner the world actually gets we can't do the shit men do. Okay, we're just better. Okay. This is why anytime something happen. They always blaming, blaming women because we God, and you always blame God when some bad shit happen. Anyway, I feel like it's bad either way. Grown ass men, you know men are We
would like to say men are more visual. No, men like easy prey. They like easy prey. A twenty one year old is easy prey like grown women need a lot more shit.
Yeah, it's easier. They pussy's tirer. She's twenty one cutchie, real tight.
That's who, okay, because what I've heard about.
Me girl tooper tight.
It's a lot of loose ass twenty one year olds out here, got way more bodies than us.
Yeah, I agree, But I feel like my ship is still good too. I ain't pushing no baby out. Yeah I'm still good.
But right, I don't even got no gray hair, but be very.
Clear, Oh no, I can't. I can't attest to that this thing got some wisdom on it.
I got one gray hair that keep popping out my middle finger. That's it on your finger, that's it. Yeah, that's crazy, and I bite that ship out every time. Let me tell you to get rid of gray hair. If y'all got granny pussy around here, y'all gotta take nice and it's like B B three vitamins that gets your black hair growing back.
Interesting. I don't listen. I don't have no hair down there, so I don't know what it looked like. It's bad.
When the hair growing, it's gonna be Granny the girl.
Fuck you all right, y'all, So today we want to talk about because I haven't seen some stuff online, and you know, I like to say we talk back as dedicated to young women.
You guys can live vicuriously through all dumbit shit, but you know, how do you catch How do you not catch feelings when dealing with men? When when dating? Is it possible to not catch feelings? So? I mean, you know, women, we are emotional beings, That's what niggas be saying. But I feel like men are actually way more emotional than us. But sometimes we might hallucinate a little bit. Sometimes we may get things misconscrewed when engaging with the oppositieve sec.
So how do you have We've already had an episode on dating and like the different levels of dating, but how do you actually date without catching feelings for someone?
But let me ask you this, why are we dating and not trying to catch feelings. That's what I don't understand, Like, my whole goal is to always catch feelings.
Sometimes women catch feelings with everybody that they're dating. Though, that's the problem if you're not dating multiple people at one time. I'm saying, like, if you're honing in on this one person and you're catching feelings and they aren't, it's a problem, is it not.
Yeah, you don't want to be the only one in your feelings.
Yeah. So I think a lot of times we may go into relationships or situations for different reasons, right. I think most women probably date with intent, Right. We're not just out here entertaining men without the hopes of the of the situation going to the next level. Right. But
men oftentimes are dating to have sex, that's it. They might have five dates this week and instead of dating one person that they really like, who they know is going to give them some cucci, they're just dating five people to see how many they can get kucci from for the week.
But I know it's women who date five people to have dinner all week.
Call those dinner wars. And that's fine too, But at least one of those dudes she actually likes and is probably not trying to play with like that. Yeah, I agree, But so how do you avoid catching feelings for someone? Isn't always entirely within your control, but here are some strategies to help minimize the chances. And this is and this could be if you're dating multiple people and you're really trying to I feel like sometimes black women have
attachment issues. It could be all women, but I'm just saying for us, we're not used to dating. Right to me, you get I think from childhood, we're told to go to school, get money. We're not like dating how white girls get to date at a young age. So once we get like people, we be holding on to them or really like we stay in situations relationships too long, let them go and move on to the next person.
So you can you know, as you're doing this, you're you're seeing what it is that you want, what you don't want. You're not staying in a bad situation too fucking long and missing blessings and all the good shit, missing the person you're actually supposed to be.
He never took them on a date, and that's crazy.
And you're hallucinating like now you're now you have feelings with somebody who has done nothing for you, nothing emotionally, nothing financially, nothing.
Just dicking you down.
That's it.
And if you hear this and you know that, stupid you better leader you want to before the get here.
But even getting dicked down, like, how do you avoid emotions when getting dicked down? Like I don't hallucinate even when I'm getting good dick from somebody. I at the minute I see some shit I don't fucking like like nowadays, and it's it's a place I had to get to. It doesn't happen. You just turn your emotions off like that overnight.
Oh no, that doesn't work for me. That's why I have to be very selective about who I give my pussy to, because as soon as he hit it, I'd.
Be like, we love.
I'm a marial.
I can be like that one day and the next day I'm not. So maybe it's some Gemini shit. I don't know. No, I got a high tolerance for some bush. And then I'll wake and be like I don't want this anymore, see and I'm out cold turkey and nigga real quick.
It takes me a long time to uh, really really really be locked in. But once I'm locked in, it's hard to get me away. Like, oh, we go together, nigga, where you thought you was going?
It depends on how we had sex. If we use the condom, I'm not studying your ass. Real you start hitting that pussy ride you're my husband? Where are you like what you thought this was?
No, it don't make no difference for me.
Nah, it make it like I'm not studying no condom, Dick.
I don't feel like.
I lost anything.
It don't count if we use the condom. It's how you.
No, I'm not saying it doesn't count, but as far as like the dick is not that good with plastic on it, Like I'm not falling in love with condom, Dick. I'm not falling in love with condom, Dick. It's only when like we haven't, like weeded sex with no condom, I'm going nuts. Yeah, But even at that point, like I know when to get the fuck on through and I'm in dragged nothing lie, I'm done with it. But the first thing, y'all set boundaries, right, and then I
think we all know this right. But applying these things sometimes, Dick can Maybe you shouldn't have sex.
Don't let them come to your house and don't go to their house when you first meet a niggas, stop letting it be our first date. Yeah, come in to chill. Stop letting niggas do that.
Yeah. I don't go in closed settings with men. I don't plan on having sex with. If I say I'm coming to your house, you're coming to fuck, you better be ready to fuck otherwise it's outside activity. Yeah, I agree, you know, so set boundaries. Be clear with yourself. You heard that. Be clear with yourself first about what you're looking for and what you're not willing to tolerate in
a relationship. Stick to those boundaries. I think sometimes when you add sex and for women it does because, like I said, men they just they can have sex with one hundred different women and they don't have feelings with anybody. But women we get confused because unless you are a car hopper or a prostitute, you know, aka prostitute, like your pussy literally runs straight to your heart. So the minute you start having sex with somebody, unless you really really.
Just but I don't know, because these young girls kind of different now, they're kind of different. Grown men, grown asks men, how did you do that, teach me.
I don't know. I can't, I can't, I can't neither. Focusing on yourself, so have all the things you like to do, keep doing those things. When you start dealing with a man. You don't always have to be super available for somebody you're just dating, So keep busy. Focus on yourself. Invest time and energy into your own interest, hobbies, and personal growth. The more fulfilled you are independently, the less you might feel the need for emotional attachment to
someone else. Don't give up your hobbies, bitch.
Right and your friends they busy. A lot of girls start seeing a nigga and then don't be friends with their friends no more, Like I.
Don't like them type of bitches. I can't stand them, like and I feel like they're usually capricorns.
All the caricorns offended.
Well, when capricorns get a man.
Don't even for them, just somebody dealing with Like, damn, are we still friends? Bitch?
You're not gonna hear from them until that relationship start going south and they need somebody to call and talk shit with other than that, like if they're in bliss whatever with whoever, Like they don't have any friends. They fixate on whomever they're in a relationship with. That's a problem. You gotta find balance. You gotta know how to balance relationships and friendship, because, bitch, one of these days you gonna call me and I ain't gonna answer for your
ass no more. You can't be treating me like that.
My uh, one of my friends got married, which I'm happy for her marriage and all that, like I love them, But now I can't FaceTime you had twelve o'clock no more. I'm into bed with my husband Timmy bitch, you was in the bed with your boyfriend before, and I used to be able to FaceTime you down here your husband.
I can't face Tiba at night no more. You meant by I had you meant by? I had a fucking bad time, Yes, yeah, you yall. I used to have a fucking curfew.
I couldn't even call her at night. Girl.
This bitch used to be like, girl, I gotta go to bed. What you got it?
I don't want to.
But yes, it didn't even matter what the fuck I was doing. I could have been in the middle of writing my journal or something. Nigga turning light off on me, bitch, like straight disrespect I'm time to go to sleep, and I do have a problem sleeping at night. I feel like this is just two different people. I don't think
I'm supposed to sleep at night. I like when the rest of the world is you're not turning, I think, yeah, I think better when everybody else is like like everybody else as sleep, I'm up thinking of a master plan. Like that's when I do my best work daytime. I'm not a morning person.
Not that nigga. That nigga said it's nine o'clock, so bitch. I used to be laid in the bed like just couldn't sleep like a kid. She's like mad, you like text me, I can't.
Talk shit day So keep keep your keep your hobbies, man, stay busy. When dayton, you know, don't meet somebody and then you automatically start fixating and working them into your lives because men don't work that way. You know, men are loyal to themselves first. That's the problem. A lot of women we give up who we are for relationships. Don't do that. Keep perspective. Remind yourself of the reasons why catch your feelings might not be ideal for you
at the moment. Reflect on past experiences to understand patterns and potential pitfalls. You got all these dumb bitch stories.
Listen, when I start cutting up, when I start getting to in my head about a nigga that ain't my nigga, I put on flow MILLI. That is not my nigga. That's all I play that. I have to remind myself it's not your nigga.
Heard that one I like flow Milly. I hadn't heard that song.
Well, I won't send it to you because that's my That's one of my gym songs.
So if you got to think about all the bad shit that transpired in a previous relationship to help you, like steady your mind in this current thing you're doing, then do that.
Oh that's bad advice.
If you start seeing some path No, if you start seeing patterns from a previous situation, Okay, I always go into a new situation. I'd be ready to I like first dates. I be ready to fall in love again. I'm never scared. Okay, I don't ever let like previous shit.
But I don't think you should let the old shit got the new shit though.
Just no, absolutely not. But still be on the lookout, you know, go in with not with your fucking eyes closed every time. Yeah, not saying that every man is the same, Absolutely not, And sometimes we gotta change it. Don't even be like you you're attracting the same thing because you haven't changed yet, right, I agree there. Yeah, So I'm not saying, like, just discard people because you see some shit that I mean sometimes I don't know.
I mean, if you start seeing rag flags that are familiar, definitely you know, exit stage left. But don't be taking that old baggage in the new shit and then spasing on a nigga because of something the nigga did before I done did that.
So you don't do that.
I'm about to say I've done that, and I didn't even realize I was doing it till it was already done. I was like, damn, I overreacted, didn't I Then I started did you apolog I started crying. I missed my grandma.
Shit manipulation boy, Grandma. Remember one time I was crying buy some shit, like I know, I was dead ass fucking ross. I bust out crying and was like shut that fake ask right, caught with a whole nigga in the phone, all type of weard shit.
I was doing.
Man, Look still, I just want grace because I seen some shit on your fucking phone. I didn't bother you about it. I mind, I goddamn business because I choose to be happy every day. Why are you choosing violence?
Right?
We all got some shit going. I seen some shit the other day in a nigga phone, and look, I ain't gonna bring it up, so I do some shit. I told that nigga. I was like, shit, I could beast out on you right now, but I want to be happy, right the fuck.
I'm gonna let you have that.
Date others. Okay, this is the thing that men understand and women don't. We don't know how to date, like what dating actually is, Like, you don't just you're not supposed to just be hanging out with one person. You're supposed to have a roster unless until you're exclusively dating. Then you're supposed to date multiple people. You should be yeah, yeah, keep your options open, like stop getting this one dude you like him, But Dayton, don't.
Mean fuck y'all.
That's where we be having shit fucked up.
And people just have sex so quick now, like two three days and they already having sex. I ain't doing that.
If I if I've ever had sex quick with a man, I really just wanted to fuck. Yeah, I already know what time it is. I may not even be expected. I'm not expecting nothing. I have no expectations if I give that pussy up quick. But I think like that's like almost a standard.
Now.
Niggas think they supposed to have sex with you by the third day because another woman did.
That's crazy.
That's why we set the standards. We got it. We never all want to be on one accord. But that's why you have to let that man know what your standard is. Deal.
I'd be like, I haven't even used my passport yet, what are.
You talking about? You ain't did nothing yet, you ain't invested no money yet, nothing.
No, you ain't made me feel Always let niggas know. I need to be made to feel special and that and that's and that's what it's gonna take. You know, it's not gonna be just some dinners. It needs to be conversation communication. I need to know that you really fuck with me before I do that with you. At this stage in my life. Should have caught me in.
I need I need something.
You should have caught me a benedict. My boy, if that's what you was trying to do, I'm grown. I ain't with that. I'm not on that type of time. Especially these roses then came out. They're then fuck the game.
Up for y'all for real. Once you come, you come to your senses.
Man, two minutes I'll be sleep.
So date others. Keep your options open. Keeping your options open can help prevent you from fixating on one person. This doesn't mean leading anyone on, but rather exploring different connections without getting too emotionally invested. Stay grounded, Be mindful of idolizing the person or projecting unrealistic expectations onto them. Try to see them as they are, flaws and all.
I think we always fall in love with the potential of men and men men do the same thing with women, right Because I'm not out here saying no fucked up women, because there are.
Ooh, let me tell y'all the story. It was this actor that I really liked his character on the movie he was in, and I slid his DMS. We became friends, we started hanging out, and.
He was not the same nigga as the character. I was like, I like your care They're better EO you. Most actors are lame. Most rappers are fucking lame when you actually get to know them, like they schizophrenic.
My feelings was so hurt. I was like, damn, your character way cooler than you are. So I was idolizing this person who wasn't even that person, you know.
And yeah he was acting. But most men are acting when you first meet them, you meeting their representatives.
Most people, though not just men, women do that shit too. You don't meet they crazy, they insecure and all that shit at first.
I try to put all that shit out when you first meet.
Me, you're crazy, insecure?
Yes, So you can't say I changed.
Non They're gonna be like, I didn't even know this was you. I don't. I mean, there's no reason to present your crazy or insecure in the beginning, right What would be the reason to have that shit, that shit come out gradually?
Why? I know, people people do learn your insecurity like crazy, Like my crazy could be different, My crazy could be fun.
Yeah you know, yeah, yeah.
It's not like I don't have a reason to beast out on you right now, crazy, but my regular crazy is funy. I agree. I'm a little eccentric sometimes the.
Bitch walk around with a microphone, so, bitch, because you're gonna hear it. How many bitches y'all know, got a microphone in the purse, like a karaoke microphone, like with a speaker built into that. Bitch, just walking around with it in a person.
You're gonna hear me. Maintain distance, okay, limit the amount of time you spend with the person you're trying not to catch feelings for it. This might mean avoiding one on one situations or setting boundaries around communication. Stop being available, bitch, Let that phone ring a couple times, call him back. You could just you know, you could be sitting there looking at it, wanting to pick it up so bad.
You cannot let people think that. And I feel like that's why women be falling in love with men oftentimes because men they don't intentionally we have to intentionally not be available, right. Men just naturally do them right. They don't just intentionally not answer the phone. Like when when a woman likes a guy like, were going to be available. You don't want to play no games, but for men to get there. To me, that's not how you get men. I think making them spend money is how you actually
keep and get them, get them and keep. Men like investments. Like we value our pussy, they value they pocket. So if you want to keep a man, you got to make them spend some fucking money.
Especially with men who got a lot of money, you just another commodity at that point.
I don't know. I think even with them, even with them, listen, I mean, you gots some people who just be out here just spending money. But I don't talking about regular men. Everybody don't have access to ballers, So I'm just talking about regular men. And it ain't how much they make and how much they willing to spend on you. So if you make a man invest in you, he's more likely to stay, And if you want to get married,
he's more likely to stay with that investment. He's more likely to engage with that investment because he's been paying all your fucking bills for the last year. So stop putting. I think I said this earlier. Don't put yourself in closed settings with men unless you want to have sex with them, Like it's not cool. I feel like that might be teasing a little bit, because in a man's mind, if you come to my house, if I fly you out, somewhere you obviously having sex, right.
That's what they in their minds, right, that's what they think.
Yeah, so you gotta let them know. But you don't.
I don't give a damn where he fly you. You don't owe nobody your body, and if you ain't feeling it, don't do it right. Absolutely, and always have your own money. Don't fly nowhere.
To be flying out with no money m hm, putting up goldfundmeans to get back home.
I remember I had to reach out to the Red Cross for a bitch to get her home when we was.
Not reach out to the Red Cross, not Red Cross giving money for flood out situations.
They did. They got her back. Shout out to the Red Cross.
And that is not a real thing. I swear, I swear.
I don't like one of my homegirls went out with some dude that wasn't right, and she got left somewhere far away from South Carolina, and I called the Red Cross for help and they got her. I think they put her on the Greyhound home. They paid for it.
Don't get these bitches no bright ideas.
I'm just saying, if you ever get stuck Red Cross with fuck with you. But don't do that. Just go with your own money so you don't have to depend on the charity of others.
How stupid some women are. They gonna be using Red Cross to go to a nigga who ain't paid for nothing, right, They're gonna start with the Red Cross, they gonna start. Oh lord, hell, let somebody greyhound yokuci is wild? Right to me?
No red Cross and Yokuchi across the country to give it to a nigga who ain't doing nothing for you. It's even crazier.
Ooh, Look, seek support is the last one. Talk to friends or therapists, or we talk back about your feelings and strategies for managing them. Sometimes external, external perspectives can provide valuable insight and support.
Yes, always, people can see things much clearer from the outside of your shit.
Right mm hmmm, Like if I'm not in a dumb bitch mold like, I can help you with your dumb bitch shit. Absolutely shit, even if I'm being a dumb bitch right now. I always got good ad advice for people.
I might not take our own advice, but I gotta say it for you. You know, when you in to think of it, it'd be hard. You know when you want to think of it. But mm hmm, but yeah, talk to your friend, the level headed friend.
So that's an online list I found. But you know some things I want to give to younger women when Dayton, When a man starts talking about sex, immediately start talking about money. Okay, everybody gotta be uncomfortable. Now you make me uncomfortable, I'm gonna make you uncomfortable, so immediately, I mean, like if he just start rubbing up on your leg, like getting too close to whatever, like, yeah, start talking about money immediately because either he gonna give it to
you or he ain't. And you freak clear what you're pussy intack.
Or set you know, a boundary with him about what you go for and what you require and don't necessarily have to be.
Girl line steppers don't give a fuck about boundaries. Like those are the main people who have a problem with bound There's the people who want to cross them, cross them. Yeah, Like they don't give a shit about your boundaries. So if you're.
Gonna media, I'm start talking about money. It's just giving prostitution a little bit right, how how okay?
But you can dig my goal, but I can't dig yours.
Okay, that's true, you can, but I mean, yeah, but then it seemed like you're ready to play for pay.
But you may not. I may not have sex with this person. I just want him to feel as uncomfortable as I am, as as he's made me be. Like I said, we value our kucci, they value their purse. Yeah, I want you to feel as uncomfortable as you've made me at this point.
Sorry, let's let's roll play Damn fine as fun them Titty's sitting nice baby, what's up you're trying to what you're trying to do after this?
Man?
Shit?
Man, I just lost these five thousand dollars airrings my grandma gave me, Like yeah, I automatically got some extravagant ass shit. I need some random ask twenty twenty five hundred dollar bill.
So so with people like shit, ain't no problem.
I repluest the money first, though, and then you fucking though no, I ain't fucking no, I'm still not fucking okay, like you still have to make them do so.
So now he doesn't get that quick and you and now he asked for some pussy.
I'd have fuck a nigga for nothing. Quicker why not? Why not? What are we saying, like, let's stop acting like men just be out here with abundance of money like that. I don't even realize niggas have money till like my late twenties.
The fuck I didn't know.
So we're not about to act like we just like men just be out here spending all his money. But at some point, you you gotta find out what he got going on. Ask Men are not afraid to ask for what they want, so why are you?
I agree, But don't be talking about money. And then when he throw that money and you still ain't ready to give up, no, kuchi, it might be a problem, That's all I'm saying. Niggas might be ready to I think you, Oh, seron owe me back like you owe your text.
If he ain't trying to catch a charge, there's nothing that's gonna happen. He's not going to do anything to you, So what's the problem. And to me, it's easier to ask a man to spend money than to marry you. So if you actually like dating with intention and you're trying to get married, you got to start there first seeing if he's going to take care of you.
I agree, but y'all don't mess around it be all fucked ubout selling pussy and you ain't. No, you was doing that because you listen to talk.
I'm not selling pussy. That is not selling pussy. Asking you're dating to do some shit for you is not selling pussy.
Why not?
But I'm just saying, like, if you see, that's that's what men want us to think that, Oh, they want you to value yourself, but the minute you do, it's a problem. If you value yourself monetarily. Yeah, yeah, that's not selling pussy because I want the man that wants me.
But all right, so all right, let's say to do nice things for me. If he gave you the five thousand for the earrings that your grandma gave you and you fucking after that, would you have before that?
Though? I probably would have. But even if you want to have sex with this person, make them do some shit for you for no.
I agree that. I agree, even if it's.
Not money, like get your car wash, do things nice things for you. The more a man does for you physically, he's more than likely willing to state.
I just said, make that man, require that man to make you feel special, whatever that looks like for you.
Yeah, five thousand dollars earrings.
Whatever that looks like for you, requires that and until you don't, until you feel like that, don't share your body. That's all. That's how I feel it. Don't put no monetary amount on it.
Yeah, but most women are already having sex, and most women have already had sex with a man who didn't do anything for them. So all I'm saying is try to reverse that cycle with the next person you date so you won't feel like you lost in the end.
Yeah, it's a cat mouse saying because these niggas is out here like, don't body bitch and shit until they fucking you. And then the girls is like, don't fuck them until he do something for you. He buying you shit. But people keep having babies. So somebody is fucking up the rules. I don't know.
It's us. It's women fucking up the rules. It's not men. It's us fucking up the rules because they're the sector of women that's okay with bare minimum bullshit, you know what I'm saying. So then when they come over here until we talk back, Like I always say, it's inflation. It costs a lot over here. It's a problem. Yeah, but if every woman was on the same standard, all men would know that there is there's certain things you
gotta come with before you approach a woman. But because there's some bitch always willing to let a nigga sleep on the couch, they're gonna come with a bare minimum because the whole thing is pussy. Like that movie Shiraq, I understand. I don't know if people didn't understand the premise, but it was stupid. But the premise was like, if
women stop having sex, men would become better. But if as long as they can still get that thing without having to do anything, they like easy, right, they like easy, So don't be easy. Make it hard for these niggas. That's the last last. Make it hard for them.
Just be made to feel special. Whatever that look like for you, sus, whatever that look like, and require it and don't stick beside your your standards.
Some women give the pussy up just because somebody gives them a just a small little words of appreciation, wards of appreciation, but just like giving them a compliment, Women get compliments and start giving a pussy up some words.
No that's not enough, sis, Yeah.
That's not enough, because you are not good within. So any man that comes along and gives you compliments that make you feel good, right, you automatically now fallen in love. And all he's giving you was some fucking words. No, they have to give you more. I agree, and it may not for some it may not look financial, but we all need things.
I agree, So for me, like what's your name?
Tamar Tomorrow was like, I'm old school. How do I know you like me? If you don't give me.
Money, you're not buying me something.
If you're not buying me something, I'm confused because men, and I said this before men. Some men they get their ego fed through how many bitches they can run through, and some get their ego fed by how many women they can take care of, how many people they can take care of. I like the latter to like generous men. I like men who feel good. I like to do stuff for people. I like metal gifts. I like it made me feel good to surprise people with stuff sometimes too.
You know what I'm saying. If it's a quick cash app, twenty dollars, send me.
Something, bitch, send me something now that you like. Now that I know that you, it make you feel good to surprise people with some shit, surprise me with some shit. It's time.
It's time ten dollars for lunch. Look, I said. So. The other day one of my guy friends, he sent me a video. It was a girl talking shit about how a guy sent her thirty for lunch, right, and she was like, what the fuck I'm gonna do with third? Like she was being very grateful in the video, But that very morning I had sent my homegirl one hundred
dollars for lunch. She was going through some shit I sent her, and it really wasn't for lunch, just whatever she needed to do, but I sent for lunch, right. So you we got to be the men for our homegirls at this point, because I understood what the girl was saying, and I also understand the other side of it. It was a random dude on Instagram trying to do a nice gesture for a random bitch on Instagram, and she was complete nobody. Oh you shit though, no, absolutely not.
So somebody gives you anything and you can be appreciates, right.
And you can, I mean, you can eat with thirty dollars. It may not be what you're accustomed to eating. Maybe you eat one hundred dollar meals every day for lunch.
So me knowing my homegirl, like one hundred dollars was appropriate. But so you can't send me no posts like this when I just sent a bitch one hundred dollars.
Yeah, the fuck. But I mean, I get it, I get it, I get I don't get her perspective though, because this wasn't even nobody. You knew this was a random person since you saw so.
So in her mind she's like, if he wanted to get to know me, he need to have sent more money.
Nah, No, he don't need to.
I think it's entitlement. It's the entitlement that some men get disgusted with women. I understand. But the same way I'm asking for something from a man, I come.
Through a shit exactly.
You know what I'm saying. I'm gonna make a business better. I'm a business professional. Whatever you got going on, I'm gonna help you with it. Like I come through with right and intrinsic value.
And I don't typically ask for shit that I can't provide for myself.
That part, that part, and I don't know, because I do save my bags for a big thing that I can't do for myself. Otherwise I'm just doing it for myself. And if you come through with some shit, then thank you. But at this stage I need some big shit. What can't I do for my what can't you do for yourself? At this stage, it's not about what I can do what I don't want.
To do right now, I ain't saying this all stuff that I want to do, but push come to shove. If you're not gonna do it, guess who will me? You know somebody me, I'll do it. I could do it, so I know.
Somebody somebody gonna do it. Said I'm gonna do it too, because I'm not about to act like I just had niggas finance in my life, my entire life. It's just not true. But I've never been in a relationship with a man who didn't want to take care of me. Now, they probably was doing all the other bullshit, but they were taking care of the shit they're supposed to be taking care of it when it comes. That's all it matters. So don't don't settle, ladies. Don't settle anyway, y'all. Listen,
I already said the last last earlier. Just just keep your keep your regrets to a minimum. That's why I like to tell young girls, keep your regrets to a minimum when you're out here.
Shit, everybody, not just young girls, all of us, keep your regrets to a minimum and set boundaries for yourself and stick beside them. That's my biggest thing for twenty twenty four is not allowing my empathy for other people's situations to flex my boundaries for myself. Ooh, I've been I've known to do that. Like, well he's his grandmother is sick. Well, well he took a L.
He takes benefit of a doubt. I stay giving him motherfucker benefit of the doubt.
Oh he took an L. He took a huge L. And then now here my boundaries are flexing. No, stop building l Pray for them and wish them luck and wish them well. But don't flex your own boundaries because of other people. Shit. You mess around in your boundaries laying down by the riverside, I know, trust me. That's my last last.
All right, y'all, Okay, if you enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday on the iHeart Radio app wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is your co host, aj Holiday two point zero on instagrams.
Kick a Tam, y'all, It's official Tam Bam on Instagram. Y'all guess what. I'm down twenty one pounds. I'm so proud of myself and.
Oh shit, bit ch'all got that type of flex. I still look like a hamster and.
I've been doing herbal life and before I wanted to introduce it to y'all, I had to try to make sure it worked for me. And it has worked. So if y'all interested, like, go to my page. The link is in my bio. Y'all could join me. If you decide to join me, DM me and I'll add you to my close friends. We got about ninety days before summer. Come, let's get this weight off and be fine for the summer. So yeah, hit that link DM me. We're gonna be home close friends now. Oh remember speak now.
And never hold a weight.
I guess.
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