In the first half of this amazing LIVE recorded episode, Doug and Dr Talia dive into Rhianna’s personal story of battling excruciating and debilitating back pain at the age of 25. She shares with us how her unexplainable chronic pain affected her mental health and her romantic, family and friend relationships, as well as how she advocated for herself in the health care system. In the second half, dropping next week, we ask Rhianna how the trauma and grief associated with her chronic pain might s...
Nov 12, 2024•50 min•Season 1Ep. 119
In this mailbag, Doug and Dr Talia respond to our listener “Giuseppe”, who is in love with his girlfriend and wants desperately to be supportive of her, but can’t help but notice that she has conflict with so many people in her life. She insists she is not the problem. People either can’t stand her, or have cut her off and she will tell me that she has spent years putting up with their behavior and has finally created boundaries for herself and will no longer accept their disrespect. Who do I be...
Nov 05, 2024•25 min•Season 1Ep. 118
For the third Halloween in a row, our favorite Mystic, Medium, Psychic and Healer Kaya Jelani returns to answer all of our questions! How can we tell the difference between intuition and our own anxiety? How do we know if something isn’t a hell yes and then what do we do about it? How do we know when it’s time to leave a relationship? How do we tune into alignment and misalignment? Can you read someone’s aura? How do you tell your partner they need to evolve or evacuate? We're Not Fine https://w...
Oct 29, 2024•51 min•Season 1Ep. 117
In this mail bag episode, Dr. Talia and Doug respond to a self-conscious 31 year old man who says that his fiancé is way out of his league, like traffic accident causing and heart stoppingly beautiful. He says he’s just an average guy, and was mostly feeling comfortable until the barrage of questions and criticism from her friends and family started and never stopped. They can not understand why she would be with him when she could do so much better. Needless to say, this poor couple is sufferin...
Oct 22, 2024•21 min•Season 1Ep. 116
Nothing makes our intentions to grow and change, to start a good habit, stop a bad one, feel more poignant and urgent than sitting at the bedside of the dying. We think we have problems? We probably don't even notice the petty things we complain about, the ways we feel sorry for ourselves, or the things we take for granted. In this live recorded episode, Dr Talia and Doug have the honor of speaking with Kelly Grosklags, LICSW, Grief Therapist, Podcaster (See My Grief) and author of "A Comforted ...
Oct 15, 2024•1 hr 33 min•Season 1Ep. 115
In this final sixth of a six part mini-sode series “How to Love Better”, Doug and Dr Talia discuss how to apologize so well, you will not need to continue apologizing. In order to resolve conflicts in relationships, we encourage you to use 'I feel' statements and take responsibility for your behavior and its impact on others. Easier said than done. Sincere apologies are those that acknowledge the other person's experience and commit to making changes. To be heard is to be healed, and apologies w...
Oct 08, 2024•19 min•Season 1Ep. 114
In this fifth of a six part mini-sode series “How to Love Better”, Doug and Dr Talia discuss how to disappointment-proof yourself and accept the truth that your needs are not as obvious as you think they are. And your partner is not psychic, as much as you wish they were. And even though you might be better than your average bear at anticipating and fulfilling the needs of others, there are a host of reasons why your partner might not be beating you to the punch in meeting your needs. When you s...
Oct 01, 2024•19 min•Season 1Ep. 113
In this fourth of a six part mini-sode series “How to Love Better”, Doug and Dr Talia offer their favorite and most used couples’ therapy nuggets of wisdom. This week we talk about “giving the benefit of the doubt” even if it’s hard. Yes Yes, the best predictor of future behavior might be past behavior, but giving the benefit of the doubt allows your relationship and your partner to grow. Don’t pigeon hole them and jump to dark conclusions, you will perpetuate a reactive relationship dynamic in ...
Sep 24, 2024•19 min•Season 1Ep. 112
In this third of a six part mini-sode series “How to Love Better”, Doug and Dr Talia offer their favorite and most used couples’ therapy nuggets of wisdom. This week we talk about where each of us lies on the continuum of authenticity vs harmony in our love relationships. We tend to give our partner what we most desire. Those valuing “authenticity” (sometimes at the cost of harmony) feel most connected to their partner through honesty, sharing their thoughts, feelings, observations, and are more...
Sep 17, 2024•20 min•Season 1Ep. 111
In this second of a six part mini-sode series “How to Love Better”, Doug and Dr Talia offer their favorite and most used couples’ therapy nuggets of wisdom. This week we urge you to stay in the discomfort of having a loving but tough conversation with your partner. “Don’t Drop the Rope” speaks to the idea that when our nervous system is short-circuiting in a trauma response; fight, flight or freeze, let’s try to stick with it if we can, or at least acknowledge their bid for partnership along wit...
Sep 10, 2024•19 min•Season 1Ep. 110
In this first of a six part mini-sode series “How to Love Better”, Doug and Dr Talia offer their favorite and most used couples’ therapy nuggets of wisdom. This week we focus on “If you don’t do your your work, everyone around you will have to”. The idea is that the benefit of doing your work, owning your past, your trauma, your triggers, your unmet needs, is so great. You will be changing dysfunctional and toxic relationship patterns, you will be empowered to communicate your thoughts, feelings...
Sep 03, 2024•18 min•Season 1Ep. 109
Dr Talia & Doug welcome you to Part 2 of our two-part series recorded LIVE at the Rogue Buddha! Have you ever wondered why any woman in your life has had unexplainable mood swings, insomnia, irritability, rage, physical discomfort, irrational reactivity, anxiety, and/or depression? Well friends, buckle your seatbelts & grab a glass. If you, dear listener, are not a woman, you are about to understand the unbelievably powerful effects hormonal imbalances have on women, and if you are a wom...
Aug 27, 2024•52 min•Season 1Ep. 108
Dr Talia & Doug welcome you to Part 1 of our two-part series recorded LIVE at the Rogue Buddha! Have you ever wondered why any woman in your life has had unexplainable mood swings, insomnia, irritability, rage, physical discomfort, irrational reactivity, anxiety, and/or depression? Well friends, buckle your seatbelts & grab a glass. If you, dear listener, are not a woman, you are about to understand the unbelievably powerful effects hormonal imbalances have on women, and if you are a wom...
Aug 20, 2024•50 min•Season 1Ep. 107
Divorce is not the end, and it definitely does not need to be a black ominous mark in your life story. In this episode, Doug and Dr Talia dive into Love After Divorce! Many of us get married young in our 20s with hearts full of hope and sporting a fresh pair of rose colored glasses. We live footloose and fancy free, no responsibilities, no real problems, and then a myriad of changes happen during those next two decades that can challenge and change us to our core. Sometimes the external strains ...
Aug 13, 2024•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 106
Dear WNF listener, if you have listened to our show, you will know that ADHD is a topic so near to our hearts we wanted to find just the right person with just the right knowledge base and approach to do this complex and relevant topic justice. In this episode, we hear from federal attorney and trade negotiator turned founder of Interlace Solutions, a coaching firm helping professionals and executives to fulfill their potential. Elle O'Flaherty coaches both individuals with ADHD and couples who ...
Aug 06, 2024•1 hr 26 min•Season 1Ep. 105
Are there scenarios in which a potential love or sex interest could be a platonic friend? Mayyyyyyyyyybe, but unlikely. In this episode, Doug and Dr Talia look at this question from many angles, and we want our listeners to chime in! Do you agree that it is nearly impossible? Have you had experiences of successful platonic relationships that have remained uncomplicated with exes, friends of the opposite sex if you are straight or bi, and friends of the same sex if you are gay or bi? We discuss s...
Jul 30, 2024•47 min•Season 1Ep. 104
In this classic Mailbag Episode Dr Talia and Doug tackle two tough but relatable relationship issues. In the first, Amy gives Jake an ultimatum; either he quits his dangerous air courier job in Alaska after he lost two of his best friends doing the same dangerous job, or she leaves. But this career is his soul filling passion. What to do? And in the second mailbag Jess messed up with her serious long distance boyfriend of 6 months when she started up a “platonic” in-person friendship with her ex...
Jul 23, 2024•53 min•Season 1Ep. 103
In this LIVE recorded episode, Doug and Dr Talia have a conversation with Kim Harms, DDS about her journey through multiple catastrophic losses in her life; the resilience and grace with which she came out of the darkest grief pit, as well as the incredible wisdom and advice she gives to other survivors of painful losses of loved ones. She lost both her mother and her 19 year old son to suicide, and her husband from what she is certain was a broken heart. This episode will give you such compassi...
Jul 16, 2024•1 hr 28 min•Season 1Ep. 102
In this episode, Dr Talia and Doug talk boundaries with Dr Catherine Cleveland. Boundaries really get a bad rap. We think of them as entitled, cold, rejecting, and whiny. Well, the joke is on us. The fewer boundaries we have with our loved ones, the more those relationships are fraught with irritation, resentment and even bubbling rage. "They should already know they are asking too much", we say to ourselves. "They should intuit that I hate when they drone on about my day." "Can't they see I am ...
Jul 09, 2024•1 hr 26 min•Season 1Ep. 101
Hey listeners, this is We're Not Fine with a quick update. We're taking a break this week to celebrate the holiday. We'll be back next week with more great content. Enjoy your holiday, and thanks for understanding! We’re Not Fine Family, for quick and easy to digest takeaways from each episode and so much more, join our Patreon Memberships starting at $1/month. For our free tier, you have access to our informative and fun newsletter, it’s worth it to join. https://www.patreon.com/werenotfine?utm...
Jul 02, 2024•1 min•Ep. 1
WNF Family, we did it! And we couldn’t have done it without you! Our 100th episode marks two years of growth, amazing connections, brilliant guests, so many great topics hi-lighting the interplay between mental health and relationships, new learnings and much wisdom imparted. Join us as we reflect on our 2 years, share BTS drama, bumps and bruises along the way, and honor our beloved team Alex, Geoff, Jon and Digg as we ask them their secrets to a healthy relationship and their greatest insights...
Jun 25, 2024•1 hr 13 min•Season 1Ep. 100
In this episode, Dr. Talia Jackson and Doug Jensen discuss the five main personality traits: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. The characteristics of each trait and how they manifest in individuals are explored. The hosts emphasize that these traits exist on a continuum and that there is no good or bad trait. The importance of understanding and accepting different personality traits in ourselves and others is also discussed. The conversation covers how di...
Jun 18, 2024•57 min•Season 1Ep. 99
Today’s topic is Dating with Daddy Issues in honor of Father’s Day. Here’s to all of the amazing dad’s out there who are showing up for their children with interest, affection, tenderness and consistency. You are changing worlds and preventing attachment issues. We applaud you! Today’s episode focuses on the wounds we carry with us when we have unmet needs from our own fathers’ rejection, disinterest, criticism, infidelity, disappearance… All of these unmet needs affect our adult relationships a...
Jun 11, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Season 1Ep. 98
In this live recorded episode, Dr Talia and Doug have a chance to talk to the beloved former news anchor on KARE 11 Sunrise, Bryan Piatt. He started experiencing symptoms of Anxiety and OCD from an early age with no understanding of what was happening to him. The disparity between his perfect external presentation and his quiet internal suffering grew until he could take it no more. He chose to stop running and hiding from his mental illness, and instead integrated the diagnoses into his life, u...
Jun 04, 2024•1 hr 25 min•Season 1Ep. 97
In this mailbag episode, Doug and Dr. Talia respond to real life couples struggling with mismatched libidos that are negatively impacting their relationships . One writer is breaking off an eight year relationship because they can’t meet their partner’s sexual needs and feels insecure and constantly pressured to give more than they are able to give & in the second couple, the writer has a much higher sex drive than her boyfriend and can’t help but feel undesirable and rejected whenever she i...
May 28, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 96
In this episode, Dr. Talia and Doug tackle one of the most common relationship problems; mismatched sex drives. In many couples, there is one individual with a more robust libido, who feels enough burning desire for intimacy that they are the default initiator, often creating a pursuer and distancer dynamic, leaving one member of the couple feeling undesirable and rejected and the other member of the couple feeling overwhelmed, maybe even avoidant, and generally terrible that they are not able t...
May 21, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Season 1Ep. 95
In this episode, Doug and Dr. Talia share their 50 years of combined experience in the couples’ therapy room. Being married is hard, even if you’re married to someone fabulous. What are the signs that there are some dealbreaker red flags brewing in your marriage? Resentments building that can’t be undone, trusts broken that can’t be repaired, differences in values and dreams that can’t align without one of the partners feeling stifled. Tune in! We answer all of the questions you might be asking ...
May 14, 2024•38 min•Season 1Ep. 94
Meet Gao Motsemme, a Botswana born current resident of Germany, and mother of three from a long ancestral lineage of gifted intuitive healers. In this episode, Dr Talia and Doug sit with Gao as she takes us on her complex and unexpected mothering journey while needing to face her own mother wounds. “Why doesn’t my mother love me?” and “What is a mother without her children” are a few of the questions echoing throughout this episode. Every one of us can see ourselves in this episode, honoring the...
May 07, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Season 1Ep. 93
In this mailbag episode, Doug and Dr. Talia hear from two people completely fed up with their spouse and ready for a divorce, but we feel that their decisions might be premature! We share the ingredients necessary to determine whether or not it’s time to throw in the towel. Is there willingness on both sides to work through this issue? If so, divorce might be further down the list of solutions than you think. We're Not Fine https://werenotfine.com Shop the Pod: https://werenotfine.com/shop Insta...
Apr 30, 2024•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 92
You know the saying that when you wear rose colored glasses, red flags just look like flags? Well, in this episode, Dr. Talia and Doug respond to listener voice notes about first date horror stories. These stories are full of cringe, red flags, and lewd tales of hook-ups and dates that have gone horribly wrong. Prepare yourself with a bowl of popcorn because you will be screaming NO! Run for the hills! Don’t do it! Enjoy at your own risk and not with your children or your grandma!
Apr 23, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Season 1Ep. 91
