Listen in as our event guests discuss working through their individual fears, anxieties and challenges at a clothing optional resort during our week together at Desire Pearl Resort just south of Cancun, Mexico.
We sit down with four of our lifestyle friends and share real stories about what it's like to experience hurt feelings during an event and how to dissect, debrief, discover and confront the root cause of the issue. As much as it hurts sometimes, we discuss why we think it's important to work through the issues together in order to experience personal growth and strengthen our relationships.
We discuss four distinct behaviors we consider to be deal breakers to moving forward and possibly making new lifestyle friends and connecting with potential play partners. Sharing opinions on politics, religion or other emotionally charged topics Being closed minded or judgmental toward others Being 'tone deaf,' or not being able to read the room Trying too hard to make something happen What do you think? What behaviors do you consider to be deal breakers?...
Finding your tribe, making lifelong friends, connecting for sexy playtime and growing your primary relationship are just a few ways to define 'success' in the lifestyle. Many may mistakenly believe you can just fill out a profile and 'show up' to quickly enjoy these benefits. We have learned that just like in life, you must both put in the hard work over a period of time to experience all the lifestyle has to offer. Are you ready to put in the hard work? We believe the reward is worth the effort...
New Relationship Energy (NRE) is that sexual buzz we feel when we first meet and connect with a couple or individual. We discuss navigating this heightened state of emotional and sexual feelings by processing it, understanding it, keeping it in perspective and responding to it in a healthy way. NRE can feel scary and risky but we believe if it's understood and managed well it can provide a super charged experience and be very meaningful (and a whole lot of fun) for all involved.
As the idea and exploration of consensual non-monogamy continues to grow we have noticed the need for organized community. The different flavors and diverse approaches means that one size does not fit all needs. We invited our friends Fin and Emma from the Normalizing Non-monogamy podcast to chat with us about their community and how the four of us see how communites are forming and how to find the one that fits you best. Here are a few communities to explore: Normalizaing Non-monogamy community...
To quote Mrs Jones, "we should be an example and not a blueprint." It may seem natural to adapt our 'thing' into your lifestyle journey but that could be a mistake. Giving yourselves an opportunity to create and refine your own 'thing' while learning from the examples of others in the lifestyle can be liberating and exciting.
Catherine (one of our favorite humans) and her team from Expansive Connection join us to discuss how they have created a unique method of coaching non-monogamous people! Not only do they offer a 'judgment free' zone but they bring their certified credentials and experience in the lifestyle. Learn more about what an experience will be like with Catherine and Expansive Connection below. Expansive Connection Expansive Connection in the We Gotta Thing Community NNM Enneagram Episode 1 NNM Enneagram ...
We often hear couples suggest they are taking a break from the lifestyle due to 'real life' issues. We also hear some say that 'real life' is getting in the way of their lifestyle activities. In this episode we share some very personal news and explain why we believe the lifestyle IS real life and the two can successfully co-exist.
Have you experienced lifestyle play partners getting a little upset when you choose to spend time with others? How about hard feelings when one of you seems to be enjoying the lifestyle more than the other? Some use the term 'jealous' when these things happen but we'd like to dive a little deeper and talk about why we use the the word envy as opposed to jealousy.
This is the most important topic that nobody wants to talk about! Chances are this won't happen to you (as it did us) but we still want to help prepare you just in case... We reflect back on our experience of being outed and discuss what we've learned (and are still learning) during the process. Yes, it's painful but it's not the end of the world!
Listen in as our guests share their Desire Pearl 2021 snapshots in a recorded-live conversation from the resort! Some are thoughtful and meaningful, some are sexy and others are downright hilarious! Oh, and we share ours as well... Our new 'What's Your Thing?' sexy and smart card game is now available! Here is our updated Naughty Stockings list just in time for the holiday shopping season (or any season really)......
This month we discuss why other couples reject us when reaching out from a lifestyle dating site and how to improve our chances of success in the future. This episode complements our episode 62 " Putting Yourself Out There - Lifestyle Profiles 2.0 " and our blog post on the same topic titled "Our First Online Couple Profile."...
We discuss the importance of trust from four different angles: trusting your relationship, trusting each other, trusting other couples and trusting who you are becoming in the lifestyle. Also, I (Mr Jones) share my first ever experience getting waxed...
Group play can be fun but also tricky! In this episode we explore the benefits and pitfalls and share our perspective on how we approach and navigate playing in larger groups. We also recap our very first Desire Mansion takeover event!
No matter how long you've been in the lifestyle you are going to make mistakes. So we've come up with a few tips to help you minimize those mistakes and make your play experiences more meaningful and fun!
In this episode we discuss how our perceptions change to our reality the more we are exposed to actual events. All of us have pre-lifestyle perceptions, newbie lifestyle perceptions and even veteran lifestyle perceptions that can change- but only if we take a step (or two) forward and try new things. Blog post mentioned: That One Time in Band Camp
There are perceptions in the lifestyle that a woman must be 'bi-something' to attract and connect with other couples. On the men's side of things there is a double standard and a stigma attached to being 'bi-something' in the lifestyle. In this episode our goal is to dispel some myths and share our personal views around each in an attempt to provide a safe space for sharing thought provoking conversations in the lifestyle. We believe these conversations must occur for people's minds to be opened...
Perhaps you have not had your first play experience yet or haven't had one in a very long time due to the current pandemic. Preparing for that first play experience creates a lot of build up, anticipation and nerves. No matter how that first time goes one can lose sight of the fact that it's only one experience and should not be the benchmark for all future play times in the lifestyle!
Do you struggle with if, when and how to tell other couples you're not interested in meeting? What about after you've played and you've lost interest? What if they ask you why you aren't interested? What if you are the recipient of a 'let down' message? Do you want to know why or would you rather just move on to the next couple? Does the sting of rejection ever get easier? We invite you to listen in as we discuss this topic from both sides!
Not only does real life often get in the way of engaging in the lifestyle, but simply staying sexually connected as a couple is a struggle. Add a global pandemic to the mix and you have the perfect storm of events that make this struggle almost impossible to avoid. In this episode we really don't have solutions to the issue, we simply share where we are in this so that as a couple you know you are not alone.
We believe there are three important components of compatibility that we need to consider when trying to find connections with people in the lifestyle: General Compatibility, Safety & Health Compatibility and Sexual Compatibility. In this episode we define these components, discuss why they are critical for success and how to know if such compatibility exists when you're meeting new friends.
In this episode we discuss the idea that there is a unique language spoken by those in the swinging lifestyle. We believe this language is comprised of four distinct elements: the language of speaking, the language of listening, the language of the body and the language of behavior. We also believe becoming fluent in this language will help smooth the pathway forward and help you more easily connect with others.
We talk a lot about all the special friendships we've made in the lifestyle and many of you express frustration over finding the type of connections we describe. In this episode we offer tips on what it takes to be successful finding and building special relationships with those who will become true friends!
It's not a secret that engaging in the lifestyle can be expensive! In this episode we discuss budgeting tips for your lifestyle adventures and why we prioritize spending money on us as an investment in our relationship.
Men are programmed through all aspects of life to avoid showing interest in other women. But now we are in this lifestyle where other women expect us to show some interest. This is so confusing! How are us guys supposed to know when you ladies are interested in getting to know us better? Get out your notepads for this episode as Mrs Jones sets us all straight in the matter...
Before entering the lifestyle or becoming experienced in the lifestyle we never imagined doing some of the things we've actually done and things we've learned about the lifestyle. We share how our perspectives change over time and also share what some of our listeners have to say about their own experiences! Mentioned: Room 77 Podcast with Richard and Lauren
As we are mired in the current pandemic many of us are being pulled back away from our social and sexual mindsets. When we are concerned about our jobs, our children, our families and our health we need to be deliberate to ensure our relationships and our sexuality is a priority! We discuss the difficulty of resolving the tension between who we are wired to be as humans and who we are trained to be by society. Mentioned in this episode: Brene Brown Unlocking Us Podcast Casual Toys store We Gotta...
Erectile Dysfunction and Performance Anxiety are often misunderstood by many in the lifestyle. Numerous couples experience this issue but don't take the time to acknowledge, openly discuss, research and confront the issue head on. Normally us guys would rather get a prescription for a performance enhancing medicine but never understand and treat the underlying health and psychological issues. Mr Night returns to give us his professional opinion and we share our views as an experienced lifestyle ...
As we all focus on staying well during this pandemic we thought it a good time to talk about a few health related issues and how they impact our lifestyle journey. "Mr Night" is a certified Family Nurse Practitioner of 20 years and is also a certified Bio-identical Hormone Replacement Specialist. He and his wife "Mrs Night" are also in the lifestyle and join us to discuss how diet, exercise, hormones and supplements can be used to proactively manage our health as we age. Questions for "Mr Night"...
