Breaking Silence: Motherhood, Mental Health, and the Future of Hospitality” Featuring Colleen Silk of Hospitality Bites & Chef Ciji Castro of Domestic Gourmet

We're recording on site at Ibis Images Studios , where food photography comes alive and I get to eat it . Email us to learn more Info at thewalkintopcom . Today's episode is one of those that goes beyond the plate . We're talking purpose , people , passion .

Joining me is a powerhouse in hospitality media , someone who's been on the front lines of changing how we view this industry , our beloved industry . She's a mompreneur , a creative producer and founder of Hospitality Bites Media , a brand that uplifts the human side of hospitality .

Through her podcast , hospitality Bites , she sparked honest conversations around mental health , burnout and inclusivity , while offering a new vision of what sustainable success in this industry can look like . I'm proud to say this is breaking news , people .

I am proud to say that Hospitality Bites is now officially part of the Walk Talk media family , and that is correct . You'll find Colleen's episodes published right here on our feed . Her voice , her mission , her movement . It all aligns with everything we stand for here at Walk Talk In studio today . Let's talk food here for a minute , guys . Oh my God .

In studio , bringing the heat to the kitchen , is chef CG Castro , founder of Domestic Gourmet . Cg's story is all heart , from her Cuban , puerto Rican-American roots to her role as culinary innovator . She's been cooking up some stuff here and it still smells great and I love it .

She's going to talk about the big flavor , the big food that was prepared here in this studio . Cg , welcome to the show .

So the stars aligned and here I am .

There was an event called Femmes in Food and I met her there and she talked about how she's been a pioneer in this industry in Tampa Bay and she's available to mentor and I have to say where I'm at today is in big part because of her .

So another dish that I did today was an elevated version of the Elena Harus and that was to honor our friends at Aussie Select and their killer lamb . I ate a lot of that this morning and I'm so proud to say that I'm going home with half a ham .

It's really important that I eat clean and this is going to satisfy my love of sandwiches and also not hurt me .

Um , I made a traditional Cuban candied grapefruit right , but then I added the Puerto Rican spices . So , um , after that , with the peel , I made the marmalade from the juice , and I use the same spices , so I use that instead of their typical strawberry preserves . And then we elevated the cream cheese with a nice melted brie .

It was important to me to showcase that today , because it is a piece of oral history typically passed down from the women in the family , and it's not really something that you can learn online , although many people have tried and some people try to learn online . This is something that is typically done once a year before the holidays .

All the women in the family will gather . It takes typically two days to make it's labor intensive . A lot of love goes into it . There's a lot of different components as well , but I just happened to be ready .

It's kind of like that , but made with bananas green bananas , and when you boil them is a brown rectangle . It's not typically a beautiful dish , as much as it is delicious .

So I did have some reservations about the photography , but I felt like it was important for me , as someone who works really hard to preserve ancestral cooking , to show something that was authentic to my roots and then , you know , also showcase something that was modern .

I said we need to go over , talk to those guys . Let's bring them story , because this was just back in February that we were at this trade show . And you know John and Pooch , and you know Glenn and some of the others , the gang , we , jordan , we were out there .

Just , you know , it's like you get your head down to the grinder and you're working and I , I know that we were all dehydrated . You came through with like four cases of water , you know , and uh , and you just I don't know if it was you or Jamie , somebody just dropped them off and and uh , like hey , here you go , guys .

They were ambassadors , jim and Shell , and they had two very different experiences of why they joined and the more I learned about it , I was essentially blown away that there was an organization that was working to train people to learn about how to handle issues within a restaurant industry , something I had never seen before .

At this point , I was trying to figure out what I want to do with my life . I had a daughter at home . I had recently suffered a miscarriage and I said I want to go all in on what they're doing . I need a purpose beyond myself , and that's essentially what happened . I reached out , I applied and did the coursework , joined in 2022 .

And then things slowly started to evolve throughout my work , with them wanting to find a bigger purpose in the United States , and that's how it started to grow .

A bunch of us started to network together on LinkedIn Instagram , and then they put a call out together on LinkedIn Instagram , and then they put a call out for people to attend NAFM and Tom , our leader out of Canada , made it happen , and that was the first time a lot of us met in person in North America , so it took from 2020 till February for all of us

to meet .

A lot of people that I knew in the industry were not doing well , and there was this huge uptick , though , of media content , where people were infatuated with what's going on in the food world . I think it's a level of comfort that people were looking for .

They missed dining out , they wanted to watch people cook , and you see the celebrity status explode from you know where . And one thing that wasn't happening , though , is people weren't talking about the repercussions of not being together within our industry . So many of us are people people and we need each other to thrive . I had lost a friend .

I attended a meeting with the Chow Network , and we talked about a lot of us losing people during the pandemic because they were left to their own vices unfortunately , a lot of alcoholism , drug use , simply depression and I didn't want to be sitting on the sidelines while this was happening , so I just started talking about the not perfect stuff .

Not that the industry was broken , that it's all bad , but there's a lot of things that needed to be discussed and I had some friends on the show and next thing I know people were interested in talking about the not perfect side of the industry .

I leaned into being vulnerable , I leaned into storytelling , the ability to get people to tell me things they typically wouldn't say , and then it just sort of took off and that's how I got guests from the UK and Canada . I was going to Ireland and Australia .

You know , just really wonderful to get a global community with like-minded people that want to share their experiences within hospitality .

Screeching Halt came for me 10 years ago , had to really reevaluate who I was as a person , as a woman , what I wanted to be . I wanted to be a leader . I wanted to be a better version of myself . I wanted to be a leader . I wanted to be a better version of myself .

So Hostility Hustler today is someone that found their ability to give back in the hospitality industry by creating their own lane . I've created my own , opened my own doors . I've broken open . I like to say I'm breaking down doors and , depending on how you view it , I'm making as many connections as possible .

I'm breathing life into my business to the best of my ability , truly making my own path . So the hospitality hustler today is someone that is successful , proud of themselves . I'm really encouraged at what's going to happen . Hospitality hustler 10 years ago she needed a lot of work . She was not giving to herself in any way , shape or form .

We really reevaluated what the industry was like and how unhealthy it was for us , and we are now the adults in the room , so we want to make a change . So , should our children enter it , or the next generation that's coming up in culinary school , we're making a safer , more sustainable place .

So it's really interesting that four years ago , not everyone wanted to talk about this sort of thing , where now people are confident saying I'm sober and I operate in the industry and I feel a bit safer to do so . It isn't as this .

Well , I guess we had a good moment in 2020 and we're all taking care of ourselves pandemic life and what that was like and getting back to work . We're addressing what it was and we're making changes and people are putting their money where their mouth is . Truly . We're not just saying we want to make it a healthier place .

People are investing on making it a healthier place . Whether it's equipment or coursework that we offer at the Burned Chef Project , Cal Ben's friends , people are investing in their employees , which is incredible .

It's only for the better . It's not a competition to help people , and so the more that we can find and work together , it's only for the better . It's not a competition to help people , and so the more that we can find . There's other great organizations that we're starting to learn about , here in the US specifically , that are of the same mindset .

So we are hoping to help amplify , working together , these other organizations .

So he had spent the night in his car and he was woken up , I believe , by a police officer and he shared that story and his social media manager was on the call too . And I'm looking at him and he goes exactly , he goes . Do you know how hard it was for me to look at myself ?

And then I had to go into work the way that I was , because it was time to go and I wanted to see the rock bottom , but it wasn't . And those types of stories . His story , when he shared that , was like there isn't just a one rock bottom .

These things pile on for people and our industry is really good at piling on , and he's so open and so vocal about how hard that was for him to get help . He wanted to make a difference .

He didn't want other chefs to be going home or going to their cars or going to a ditch , feeling the same way , and I really appreciated him sharing that , especially with an employee of his on the call .

You know , it's not always easy to share our worst side of ourselves with people that work for us , we work alongside them , but it's so important , I think , to many of us to do that , and his story is just one of those . That really is , man . You thought you had it rough .

That just sounds awful , but he's doing something with it and his story 100% has stuck with me the last couple of years . His story obviously was one that just sits with you and it makes you think about that . Could be me . I could have been that person .

I personally got a DUI in 2015 and I could have been on the side of the road and I really take a lot of pride that people trust me with stories like that and they feel comfortable enough to share with me their rock bottom , like I said , and I can share back my rock bottom . We kind of commiserate over that .

Like I said , and I can share back my rock bottom . You know , we kind of commiserate over that and we just hope that it makes people feel seen and there's an impact or a little bit of a ripple to maybe make someone okay . I want to reach out and get help to them or I want to find their organization that they're a part of . It's only been truthfully .

I feel so empowered and so privileged to have people share their stories like that with me .

I would bring my daughter to the restaurant . She thought it was normal to be in a pub . It was easy . It felt normal because I wanted her to see her mom at work . Fast forward to last year , I couldn't even recognize myself in the mirror and I felt so ashamed that I was so broken . I didn't . Friends were encouraging .

Why don't you just go get a job and wait tables a couple days a week , just so you're out of the house and socializing ? I didn't even feel comfortable that I could socialize with people , and that's what I'm great at . I'm great at talking . I didn't even know how to do that . I was afraid of breaking every day .

I was afraid of embarrassing myself and when you're a mom , everyone depends on you . It's just this weird expectation and when you feel like you can't give it to your children back and you can't give it to your business . You feel like an utter failure . And I felt like a complete failure last year .

I was trying so hard to keep pushing through with my podcast .

I was trying to continue with Burnt Chef and at one point I felt that I wasn't even worth being here and that's when I said , okay , I need to do something with this , and I used all of that mom strength that I felt I didn't have last year to go all in on moving this podcast forward , moving forward documentaries , sharing my story .

So the next mompreneur like Chef on the Line , when you're killing it in the industry , I also know how hard it is and how you're killing it at home too , and I want people and women to feel the same way that I feel now and if they felt the way I felt a year ago .

It's an incredible example for your children , for your family and for everyone who knows you , because I think , for women in particular no offense , guys , you're going to have to sit this one out . I think that you know , as mom and women , we have to carry the load and carry it effortlessly .

You said we have to be there for everybody and if we don't , then we're not a good mother , and if we acknowledge our failure or our struggles , then that opens a whole nother can of worms . So there is , I think . As women , it's a natural to suffer in silence and suffer alone and not admit that we are struggling .

And the fact that you , you know , not only were able to admit it to yourself , so that you could change your path , but also admit it on a global scale , publicly , is such a gift , because I know right now and it makes me emotional , because I've been there where you needed to hear a message and you heard it . It was exactly what you needed .

That's what you just did right now . Thank you , you're welcome .

We go through changes our entire lives and one thing that people don't understand is endometriosis , pcos , postpartum pumping all the P words that no one wants to talk about .

I truly believe 100% that you feel it feels out of body when you watch yourself back and reshare it and be like , wow , I lived through that and . But I'm here today because , truly , the person I saw a year ago , I don't even recognize her . I , my husband , did it , my children didn't , and I have not been this happy in a really long time .

And creating this documentary and hoping to create resources to have people understand what women are going through and how we're suffering through pain in silence when they're on the line , if they're a chef , just educating . This is what it feels like being able to offer a break , offer water . Are you eating healthy ? You said it .

I mean , you hit the nail on the head about what your diet looks like . These are all things I'm hoping to accomplish and my podcast is how it got me there . I felt so , wow , I can do this .

I can share stories and thank goodness for Carl believing in me to bring my podcast there and help amplify not just my documentaries but my podcast through Walk Talk , so it's just a really wonderful full circle moment . I'm very privileged that you're on the line that on this call , with carl too likewise for the record you can come back , arl .

You seem so sincere and your message and everyone has someone that they can identify with that has the same sort of challenges that you have . It just so happens that we work in media and now there's a way that what we do can literally or potentially help somebody . So I feel like the . I feel like it was meant to be .

I feel like there was some divine guidance that puts you where we are and you know we're going to . I think we're going to do , you know , the good work together .

I made it , but I did because that's how bad I was In a documentary .

I wasn't really a movie kid buff growing up , but as I got older I liked watching documentaries on TV and my husband gifted me something for Christmas and I learned about documentary storytelling and how watching someone share their story physically makes you change , it makes you feel something and I really leaned into that side of storytelling .

So the first up is Unhospitable , which is about women's health and hospitality history , and my hope is not just creating the documentary but also create free resources that go back to the restaurant industry and how to talk about these types of female-based medical issues that a restaurant industry that's predominantly actually in leadership roles are male , although it's 50%

women . They don't know how to talk about that . That's not their fault . They've never lived it and I really want people to feel that they can have a conversation without offending and be a better leader , chef , manager , operator within the industry .

So it's more than documentary storytelling and making people feel something and people feel seen , but make a change and do something with it . Don't just have a voice that create real , powerful change . What do ?

They don't get paid time off . They may not even qualify for FMLA because of the hours they work . If they work part-time , their restaurant isn't obligated to give them FMLA , so they're going back to work within weeks of having a baby . It takes nine months to grow one and you really should not be lifting a keg when it goes out .

You should not be running around the restaurant and not taking the water breaks that you need or taking time to sit down . The physical toll that your body has been through is something that's truly indescribable . Some people have tried to explain pumping like running a marathon during the day . That exerts that much energy .

So can you imagine having to run a marathon on top of running a marathon , of being in a restaurant ? It doesn't make sense . So my hope is that when people see someone that's expecting in the industry , they have a plan in place . So should they choose to return to work ? If they need to return to work , when ?

If they need to return to work right away , what does that look like ? Do you have modified schedules , modified job descriptions for that person ? They are a bartender and they are eight months pregnant . Are you able to break them to get off their feet , like these are all things that I hope to accomplish and maybe you will not uncomfortable to talk about it .

It happens every day . Your partner , your wife , your mother they've all lived it . Have they all ran a restaurant at the same time ? I don't necessarily know that and I want people to understand that we want to be there . We're not disabled , although it's called disability when you take time off after a baby , which blows my mind . We're not disabled .

We are abled bodies that are producing another life , but just in a bit more accommodations , because we love what we do .

And , as a mother now , if my daughter was ever in something where her coworkers were aware that she was in a dangerous situation and didn't say anything , I'm heartbroken . And as a leader in the hospitality industry I've held very high titles I want to make sure that people in the industry hear my voice . If you are a leader , these things are still happening .

It is our job to make it a safer , more sustainable place , and I'm a lot more clear on what that looks like . It's about training properly . It's about providing breaks . It's about providing outlets to mental health services , encouraging exercising , finding other ways to engage with each other outside of work and through the media sector of it all .

It's my platform and I'm owning that , and I'm not as embarrassed to share what a degenerate I was in my 20s , but I was also a really broken young woman that could have used someone like me leading the charge , instead of what I had with some other people , and the challenges that I'm facing now in motherhood are very relevant to people that are in leadership

roles , and I want them to know that I'm here and I see them , and I will keep sharing stories so everyone feels seen in some capacity it's not just my voice , but those that are coming on my show that there's a wide variety of diversity from different sectors of the industry too , and that's the other beautiful part about my podcast is I don't just simply talk

to restaurant people or chefs . I talk to literary agents , I talk to media personalities , I talk to bilingual boilerplate makers for people's websites . That's how niche I go in some of these guests . So everyone is seen somewhere . I feel , yeah , it's when you ask . I kind of take my breath away by that question . I don't know why .

That was hard to answer for me . I believe in this so much that I want to do it right and I want to be with the right people , and that's why I'm happy that Walk Talk believes in this too , and I'm looking forward to what the future looks like .

You're also hearing yourself talking about some of these things and it helps you to kind of navigate through , through some of the , some of the struggles , some of of what's left over from even , you know , 15 years ago definitely we are all trauma bonded in the restaurant industry and all of us have had some sort of trauma , that have worked in it and we get

along with each other , even if we've never met .

I thought I was alone in a lot of these things , but that is not the case Across the globe . Everybody in the restaurant industry speaks the same language , no matter where you are , and I feel that so much now when I have people on my show or just through my work at the Burt Chef Project . It's so cathartic for me .

He actually was not a chef or anything like that . He sold to chefs . He was a rep . So he understood the world from a different side . The more he talked about it , the more he's like oh , there's something here . There's a lot of people that are in a dark place . They're not doing . Okay .

That was six years ago and now it's a global organization , literally of ambassadors on every continent , including Antarctica . It's incredible what can happen in six years .

And through the Bernstein Project he realized that coursework was really needed , where we could go and talk to culinary schools , universities , talk about really triggering things that happen in the industry substance misuse , how to manage your money , all the things that you need to set up for success . That may not have been talked about before .

That is the Burn Chef Project , started by one guy in the UK taking pictures . It's truly remarkable .

Now the hope is that we will be in different regions where we can then do activations whether that's at a conference , whether that's at your local restaurant association and host different events where we do these educational training that we also can train people in that they can then take into their establishment .

It's all about passing the baton to the next person to spread the word and then on the website there's a phone number 1-800 , a toll-free number for anywhere in the world your language to call . That will connect you to a mental health crisis counselor . It may not be readily available within the minutes , but it will happen shortly thereafter .

There's also a text option on WhatsApp . So if you go to theburnstackprojectcom , there's free resources right now that people can have access to that don't even have to be a part of the Burnstack Project movement .

Yeah , I'm , I'm here to help as well , and and , um , you know , I know better than anybody . You know what it's like to like I . I walk red carpets , regularly been in media and spotlight for years , and I would have an episode actually just in April , going to Cherry Bomb's Jubilee .

My husband had to nurse me every single night back to health because now my hormones are a wreck and I would have migraines and I would be vomiting , and he would be there with the water , with the et cetera , with the crackers , get me up , get me into hair and makeup and get me back on .

At that time it was a pink carpet , so , like nobody has any idea what we've gone through . And then there's no empathy because these are invisible , right ? So every time you see me , you see a perfect 10 .

You don't see , you know how I was six in the morning or two in the morning , so so I'm so thankful that you know you're in this space and you're out there , um , you know , talking about this and and being there for other women to be like , hey , this is , this is , this is not normal , we don't have to suffer .

And then bringing the message to men who are in leadership and who are who do have the platforms to turn around and be like hey , listen , you know , we can provide this for you too platforms to turn around and be like hey , listen , you know we can provide this for you too .

These are just , it's what we experience and I feel more comfortable if you like oh , I understand you're going through , can I help ? This is why yeah , this is why it's so important . Is that , um , the restaurant industry leaders that listen to this , or chefs listen to this , or that are part of just the food media world ?

You can't hide away from it because so many people are talking about it now . It's just , it's sometimes it's a blip in , like , oh , it's a blip in time , Everyone's talking about it and it goes away . I really don't want to go away . That is truly my goal . Is that ?

So your story that you just shared is so loud everywhere that you can't go into restaurant Like , hey , did you hear about this chef that went through this ? She's out of Florida and we should probably talk about this . That's that is my goal . So I hear you loud and clear to give you a little bit of hope , hopeful uplifting .

When I shared a bit of my miscarriage from behind the bar and I shared it to a few men in the industry , it was like I brought tears to some tough cookies and brought them down and they I never thought about that . And I go , and 70% of women that suffer a miscarriage while they're at work don't tell anybody .

And it happens in the restaurant industry a lot . I just happened to be behind the bar and I was on full display of like oh no , what's happening , and so I have a lot of shame with that , but a lot of .

I feel very proud to be able to say that and not cry , but I'm getting other people's emotions going that they never once thought about something like that . So your story I'm telling you . Well , that does matter and people are going to hear it .

What they should expect are people from all different parts of the industry and all different backgrounds , sharing their ebbs and flows and what it's like . Whether they started in culinary school , were they born into the industry like so many of us .

Some of the not great stuff , but also really highlight what their successes are and how they navigated that and what their hope is for the future . That is what I love about the show is I really try to navigate in about an hour a life story to the best of their ability , and I think that it fits really well with the walk and talk crew .

You bring the visuals , you bring the wonderful conversations there , and I'm just taking those people that are your listeners and giving them a different ride of a journey through the hospitality industry .

Nobody asked me anything .

By the way . Uh , you are coming back and you're going to do some other food . Okay , that's going to happen .