With A Boy (w/ Krystal Franklin)

And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if you want to be better and you want to do better, then you're going to have to be able to see better. So join me on this journey of living our best lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest stassat Are you single? Are you dating or in a relationship? What's your status? They say, dating is that stage of

where you're collecting data about who you're talking to. You know, it's an interesting stage, right meeting someone sitting up there trying to figure out their likes dislikes, assessing whether or not you can see yourself in a relationship with them, or you just want to see yourself in the sheets with them, or perhaps see that they're just going to be a friend, but after the day they use this

like the relationship part. And depending on where you're located across the world, dating perhaps could be a little bit interesting. Like if you're a woman seeking a man, are you okay with asking somebody out? And men that are seeking women? Are you okay with a female asking you out? And what does it go for the same sex couples, Like how are you meeting each other? How are you interacting? Are you using dating sites? Are you opposed to dating science?

What's up? It's a conversation that goes on and on, because I feel like dating doesn't always are only contributor romantic relationships, but just any type of relationship, And it's a space where you have to take time. And I think it also and I think I feel like vulnerability is so key when establishing a relationship. You gotta be open and dealing with past traumas because nothing's worse than past traumas coming up in a relationship you can't even

see what's in front of you. And then thinking about relationships overall, are you ready to be in a relationship what has datum been like for you, m hm. Has your experience been well? And if you are single and currently dating, how long have you been single for? And if you're dating pursuing a relationship, what's your longest relationship and how long should you be dating before you get

into a relationship. Dating has been an interesting process for me, and I can say myself, I probably haven't been the best of dating because I'm working on my level of vulnerability um and I think it's a requirement of any type of relationship, opening you up and sharing who you are, because if you can't share a piece of yourself, then what are you doing on trying to connect with someone else? Get right right with me? I get excited about all right? Okay,

so I'm excited about this episode. I have this beautiful young lady in the studio with me. Her name is Crystal Frankly jern Mark. Can I get some applause? Welcome to Vitamin D with down day. Come on, give me somebody d dande. Hey, I'm sharing like all the time. Thank you so much for having me, thank you, thank you, thank you for making time. Of course, no, I like you,

and when I like somebody, I like you. So I mean, I like, I like you online, so our first time eating, you know, because we gotta be were like I like you online, I would want to I hope, I would always hope that people that I meet online are just like they are in real life, and that is not always the truth. So yeah, but I feel I felt good. I feel good about this. I feel good about you,

so of course, whatever you need. I think the first time I saw you, I met Daniel young Um invited me out to the Black Accents brunch and I saw you. I didn't know you, but I saw you. You just see somebody was like a kay, and then I guess, I mean, I would say it went viral for a minute. It was a photo you Lita and Daniel and I don't know the other young lady mar Hey, mar girl, and you know T and I worked back into New York together and idea yeah yeah, me and Danny the

other danielle okay y yeah yeah yeah. So and then I ran into you at French She's workout and that's when it was like, okay, we're doing can I curse when I damn thing? But trying to beat you because it was a boy. Listen, she came in. There is this girl. First of all, the class had to start about forty five minutes ye arrived, but she came in her her God is like study with the glasses on everything to look for a boy that was there. That's literally and I'm glad we're gonna talk about this with

the boy in a lot of good story. But okay, we're talking, We're talking, But I need you to tell people who you are. Yeah, that's such a loaded question. Um. I'm Crystal, Crystal Franklin from Dallas, Texas Cowboys Cowboys Nation, proud graduate of Graham Blink State University in Graham, Louisiana. I professionally am the senior Producer of Digital at Warner Brothers for the Real. Personally, I'm a childer guy, Janis and Charles's daughter. I'm a cancer. I love hot cheets

and Dr Pepper, Larifa, a lot of tequila done. I mean, you know there's I mean, I don't know how to really answer that. I think I'm just I'm just I'm a lot of I'm a lot of color. I'm very colorful and I can feeling. I think that's what attracted me to to hit you up on because I was like, who is this girl? I was telling Jeremiah. I said, there's so much life in her and I was like, I didn't even know what the real story was. But I came across with this with the Boys series and

I was like, she's so open, she's so candid. All right, So, uh what really got me tingling up in here? Because you know this episod as of right now? You know Valentine's stager. Um, you're with a boy series with the boy hashtag with a boy. It's so fun, it's like your dating series. Let me say, because I don't even know, you know, it started out real fun and simple. I came again. People have to remember, I am a producer

by nature. I tell stories for a living. I've been doing that my entire life, literally, even writing books and things since I was small. Um, so I naturally like to tell stories. So I remember it was November, girl, you on these days? It was November November, Yes, honey, I had reconnected with an old friend. We met when he was in d C for pressing. I worked at TV Ones. Of course they would come by, um the show,

the studio and we did interviews whatever whatever. So we reconnected when I moved here because he lived here and I just got my apartment November. You know, I was still trying to get together and you know, making me cute or whatever. But it was a pandemic, and so you can't go nowhere. It came do nothing. This is the early pandemic. No now now pandemic like a little different, but this is early pandemic. And so he was like, you live here, now, let's let's hang out. And I'm like, well,

where are we gonna hang out? It everything is closed, and so he was like, well, my place in your place, it doesn't matter. And so I was like, okay, cool. So I challenged myself to find really really fun cool things to do it in the house. So we started hanging out. Maybe I think it was like once a week, every Thursday. Then he came twice a week, so we were coloring. We you know, I ordered games from Amazon, so we was jingering, jinging, playing Jinger Checkers, Giant Oh

no bacon cookies. And so the second, maybe the second or third time we hung out, we were making popcorn on the stove. First of all, making popcorn on the stove, it's so sexy, right, that's all on the on the stove. It's different. It's a different situation. Then you're just putting it chucoling all with some damn pop. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm not even watching the story right now,

and I feel like I'm sexy. It's different. You know that that bag and then pushed a button on the Microway, ain't that. Ain't you be with some on that stove butter oil in there and you swirl it around, put them little popcorn season that thing swell around. He don't don't get popped. That set it up. Love that Love that go ahead, Jeremiah. Yes. And so I literally was on the stove, We're making a popcorn and I was

like this should be something. I was like, I gotta I have to chronicle this, and he was like, chronicle it. I was like, I wanna you know again, I don't be walking around putting the phone in people's faces. It's when I knew him, we were old friends, and I was like, I want to capture this and he was like, okay, cool. And I was like, I don't know what I want to call it, but it has to be something. And literally five minutes that I was like with a boy. I was like, you're you're with a boy, and he

was like, I like that. And so from then on that was November. Any time that I was hanging out with a guy on a consistent basis, I was just kind of do some look cute stuff in my phone, capture a little moment, put the phone down, and it became a thing. I posted about it. I posted about it one time on Instagram and the next thing I know, people were like, we need more with the boy, and I was like, oh no, this is y'all for real,

Like I was just jokingly saying it on Instagram. And so now two years later, almost two years later, it has become like you said, I've just kind of captured my dating life online and I you know, it's all hashtag under with a boy, and uh, it's fun, it's cute as easy, it ain't nothing serious, and when it is serious that's cool too. But um, the whole idea was just to be honest. I had never dated in

my life. Don ever. I was gonna ask you that, you know, because people talk about I was a relationship girl back to back didn't matter if I was no back to back. I was like, oh you you we were done, I'm done with you. Cool, let me go find other nicolon under and just you know, move on emotionally like that not healthy at all? How do you how do you charge your feelings like that? How did you? Girl? Mentalized? I wasn't dealing I wasn't dealing with my hurt. I

didn't give myself permission to feel anything anything. It was just like, Okay, you're done, I'm over you. Does that hurt? Because? Like, hell yeah, because I feel like why? Probably because I think dating, you know, requires you to be a level of vulnerability, which is something like in my career, completely vulnerable. I will risk everything dating emotions, that part and areas I'm vinge upon the artists of my life. I am when I love I said, you love hard? I do

when he gets friendships? Then how you'll say, okay, now, I'm not saying that you're the same crystal that was able to jump from the next place when you said you've always loved hard and always okay. So, but when I was done and you heard mew, can you cut your love off? How was that possible? It was easy? I don't know, Jill, And when it probably wouldn't he love like I mean it was in my twenties, and

those experiences weren't really love. It was just infatuation. It was lust, and so I had to quickly learn the difference between that. So when you learn the difference between it, it's like, okay, even if I'm not over you by and for me, you know that my men said like, ain't no new COUCHI like new COUCHI I don't know. I could say a P word, but it's like that's how it was. I was like, all right, bye, And it was horrible and it was unhealthy and it was

not the best route to go at all. Don't recommend it, but you're know what happen when you have daddy issues, Honey a longer, get a longer to get through some things and learn some things. So you started dating that Like when I first moved out to other I came out here and um September wow. Yeah. So and everybody kept saying like, oh, dating is gonna be awful day. That's all I heard. I started an experience that I

didn't experience that because I never bought into it. Never body, where do you remain your So literally I go outside, people asked up like you don't go outside like I do. Under and again I understand people are moving how and yes, yes people are. They want people to be safe, and you move how you want to move. Some people don't feel comfortable being in spaces with a lot of people. I'm not that person. I vaccinated and boosted and before I let out the blood of Lord Jesus Christ on

my side. So it's like, look, if he gonna kill me from the pandemic, he gonna take me out. This is I'm okay with din like this. If he said no, no no more and we gotta, we gotta let you go because of the COVID. I did what I did when I was here. I had a good time, you know what I mean. So I go outside. I am also open, I think so much so women. So many women are closed minded. I send men a drink. Also, there are no traditional like general like smack, you're coming

up to get it? Tiice like, hey, what's up? Let's really let me. I walk up and of course you know from a couple of you know, a couple of feet away. First I'm looking, do you have a ring? Gun? Bam? Okay, no ring? Cool? That looks good, okay, face mouth, eyes, lips, teeth, Okay, probably it depends on what. If it's he's from the back. I noticed arms that little that that if he if he has a nice muscular back, I like like I like legs. I love legs. But if I'm noticing him

from the runtch, it's always the face, always eyes. It's probably eyes and eyes and mouth because I'm looking like oh, because I'm it's all gonna be right here. But then I listen to me, look at this finger, you know, because chat they'd be walking around here, married, engaged and have fourteen boys. Right, So I look at all that, I'm like, okay, okay, cool. And if there's a mutual attraction, and how you know if they're checking because they realize

they look. But I realized with myself because people were like, oh, don somebody was checking for you. And women, I don't think we give off. We don't give the green signal. Not we look mean and probably we're not trying to be not trying. That's why I say you come in. I s make sure I smell extra good wherever I go. It could just be to the grocery, still, to the

gas station. I always spill listening. You never know where you're gonna be somebody, And even if it's not my man, it could be my new home girl, it could be a potential business opportunity. Oh my god, he's still amazing. What's that? Yes, so that's another thing that you smell good. I make sure that I look my best. Push it up,

hold it down, poke it out, whatever I got. I mean, I want to look now every time, no matter if you're going to the store now, no, no, not the store, I'd probably be looking like a little a little hood right, not a hood a little boy because I had throw a cap on in the hoodie. But when you naturally cute, you know, so it just but I really always make sure that whenever I leave my house, I look good. I smell good, and I got something to say. And I always got something to say, just because I like

to talk. But um, yeah, So if he's sitting at the bar and he's you know, he looks over. We catch each other's eyes and if you know, hey, how you doing die? You know, get not that big goofy smell I just gave you. But you know I give a little eye you know, do a little no work your eyes down is bad. You have to give because they do that to us. But so why not you know,

let him know that you're interested as well. And if he's not moving, then I just kind of no, no, I I oh, I send a drink so whatever he's drinking, and just said, hey, can you send him another one for me? And I'll take care of that. So you don't think he should be comment, I don't think it's so. I don't think we should do anything. I think. I mean, of course that you should do now hold on now, but I just mean when it comes to traditional like,

I don't believe in any of that. I don't believe in any of those rules that society has made us believe that. I absolutely not now hold on. As progressive as I am, I don't believe in that. I mean, if you see something that you like, you're gonna put a ring on it? No, No, I'm gonna say, sir, I see something I like, put a ring on me. Okay, I'm just I just put a ring on me. No, So I send a drink. And I've done that before and it's so liberating and it's so freeing. It's and

it's sexy. It's like it's so you're Okay with rejection, do you get reject it? I know that songs. That's a ridiculous question, but do you Damn, I've never been rejected. I'm sorry, I don't really know what they no. No. And then there are times that I send drinks and it's not romantic. It's just like, call that's a fly, it's black man over there. I sent a drink and go get in my car and drive home. Yeah, it's

just I just like to I just I do. I honestly believe that men, especially black men, don't get celebrated nearly enough. You know, we talked ship. It's easy to talk shit, or it's easy to you know, celebrate them when they got a new job, a new house, a new car, promotion. What about just because it's Tuesday, Just because just because it's Tuesday here, black man, you you're fine man, And just send him a drink or just walk past something like that's a beautiful sun. I love

that that suit fits you. Just keep walking like I don't. Everything is not a romantic exchange. Sometimes it's just me just celebrating you. And so I believe in all of that. So what is dating that? What is Yeah? And how do you know, if you're dating someone, you know, I'm very clear. I'm very clear. So I don't bring every everybody's not with the boy. And nowadays man, so guinnyhead.

I love that nowadays, Like when I meet guys that follow me on Instagram, they're like, oh can I can I be with the boy, And I'll be like WHOA Like people are invested in to find men that are truly like I like that. I I want to be a part of it. I'd be like, well, hold on, I'm dating looks very for me. For Crystal, have to preface this because yes, dating for me is I meet a guy and there's mutual interest, mutual attraction. We've exchanged

phone numbers, we've hung out. I don't even put a number on it because I don't Again, I don't believe, and I'll like quantifying everything. We hung out at least three too. I guess maybe I'll do put a number on it. Um. But we hang out a couple of times and we're talking every day. The the intention is to hang out more and see each other and do whatever else we want to do together. Then, yeah, we're dating, doesn't mean that you're my man. It doesn't mean that

you can't date other people. It doesn't mean that I can't date a like, which is difference. We're dating and my friend and us dating well with friends, there's a there's a romantic and sexual disconnected. I'm not sexually or romantically attracted to my homeboys. That's a difference. That's the only thing that makes us romantic or not. Like I'm you know what I mean, like, I'm not. I don't. I'm not there with my male friends with the with the niggas I like, and the niggas don't want to

get booty with. That's that's that's why they're over here in this category. If you want to go over there. And then we got to cut everything yourself. So we dated more than one persons. That's the whole premise of with the boys to stage. They say dating is collecting data, right, That's sure. We're collecting data in whatever ways we want

to collect data. So that means that if I want to hang out with thirteen guys, come let me be realistic, because I do be being sarcastic because he would be like, So that means you're having sex with all of about me? Like ye all forty five of them, because one, if I was, who cares? If I was, who cares too? It's not I'm not, But if I was, why does

it even matter. We should approach it like, whatever she's doing, let's hope that they're doing it safely and you leave it at that, whether if it's going out for cow fee, because that could be a dangerous situation because it's crazy. Women are crazy. People are crazy now days, you know what I mean. So it doesn't always have to be a sexual situation. But um, yeah, for me, it's dating most people at one time. I mean, and I'm very honest.

Do you take women as well? Or just no? And there's so many there are so many women are like can we do with a girl? And I'd be like, are y'all serious? Like literally no, Like Penis, I could, I could. I could emotionally, I could be a lesbian for sure. Difference, Well, I know what I'm saying. Well, what I'm just saying it is women, we're emotionally. There's a lot of things, but you can you can purchase parts from the bot honey, the way that I like me. I just wanted to be clear. You said that I

love me. I'm saying, how I think for me, one of the most important things is next with somebody, right, I want to be my party, got to connect to And that's why I have to be clear, because I said, well, you can go to the store and you get some other parts to the party. Yes, that pulse, that vein that comes to okay, yeah, okay, So what your lot of knees once they get into good want to die? Yeah, so I can. But yeah, I've had I've had a lot of lesbians asked me if I can, can I

can I take you on a day? And I'd be like, no, what did you say? Yes? Because it's so open because I don't want it to ever because I want I don't want to disrespect that community. And I'm not gonna play with y'all, like if I don't want to play with nobody's feelings, and I'm not gonna be all the way in Because as much as I am attracted to women and I think they're beautiful, I'm also not really

sexually attracted to women. Not really. I mean, you know, I might look good and I'm like, okay, let's go on, but I still like penis and I still like a man. And so it's like we could do outlet, we can do all this all day. Do you know what you just said? Yeah, we're sissor and I'm scissoring. If y'all can't see me, what's over there? So you're saying you can't do that with a female, meaning like, sure, we can do that, But then what we done? Holds and

I'm saying, what's we done? I'm looking around for jam looking for jam. What do you call this? Hold on? Looking for jamal looking no, no, no, no no, no, no me. Hey, this is your girl, girly Strawberry. How are you doing? Hi? Everybody, this is Jasmineberg coming to you from the fighting indeed with don jayat you call her don Jay her love keep shining down, keep shining. So you said, Dawn, yeah, I can emotionally be a lesbian. Yes, it sounds horrible.

I'm sure she's doing this thing with her hand. I said, first off, she clasping and she prays that. You heard me say, do you know what she's doing? Yeah, so you're gonna I ain't gonna do that emotionally be this, But I'm saying, I understand it. You can't even get with it. But then there's something that's like Naw, you just said that, Christie. I know I don't. It wouldn't It wouldn't satisfy me, wouldn't sustain Did you try it with a grand phone? Okay, yes, yes, but it just

it wouldn't sustain me sexually. So that changes the whole thing you were saying, like, oh this happened. It's like no, no, no, it just doesn't doesn't. It doesn't don't sustain me. Like emotionally, I could, I could, I could fall in love with the woman. I think that's very easy for me. But anything outside of the emotional stuff I just wouldn't sustain me for very long. And I don't want to. No, no, honey, No, I still still like monogamy. I still believe in monogamy.

I still think it's necessary. But the caveats that is, I do understand the desire to be with more than one person while you're in a relationship. I do understand that. I do think it's a little unnatural for us. I know it sounds problem. It's probably um contradiction. Yes, thank you, I do under I believe in monogamy. I think it's necessary. I love it. I'm for that champion. I want it However, there are some portions of monogamy that I do think

are a natural. I do think that it is okay to desire more than one person in your monogamous relationship, and how you go about that between you and your part, what you may desire that. Yeah, I have friends that are in open relationships and in open marriages, um, And while that won't likely work for me, I do understand um their position on it, and I even can admit that, you know, like, okay, I get that. Now look here. Now that's why I think it's important to do chickens.

You like rules, not not really. I don't like a lot of rules. There are some rules that have to be in place. He rob somebody, you go to jail your kids. Yes, so there are some social some societal rules that I do believe in. But when it comes to matters of the heart, I just think it's so it's so tricky. Everything it's tricky. Like you know, I had a friend that would always say, Dawn, everything's not black and white. It's really not. And I was like,

I never really could understand or appreciate the gray. And maybe because I didn't give space open up for that, because we're scared. We're scared of judgment, We're scared of ridicule. All we know is what our mamas and our grandmamas and grandmama was. How do us black another thing to talk about it? So as you were so open, did

your did your mom talk to you about sex? My mother didn't tell me about anything when it comes to me, my mother, my mother wouldn't even say in fact, so my dad died when I was three months okay, my sister's three years old. I've never seen my mom with any other man. I think that was the love of her life for whatever reason. So the whole idea of just seeing that romanticize of a man and a woman of that was on television. Yeah whatever Black Story, Yeah, yeah,

whatever you were. I mean, I don't know if I even paid that. I don't know if I invested in that. And I even wonder, like you know, talking about day, like how that probably has affected how I manuversedsolutely, which is why I'm still open, because I want to be the woman that I still need today. How did you know that she existed? I don't. I think I just grew. I mean, yeah, I mean and not really create because

it's me it's still very much so me. But I just decided that I didn't have all these things on up. I still don't have a lot of stuff at the age that I am, so if I can't find it, it's not really easily accessible. So why not just be that? Be what I need, be the girl and the woman that I needed to see? When we're talking about being the girl and the woman that I need, do you think that gets in the way of us dating? Because sometimes being all of that, how can we welcome somebody else?

I'm just saying, as two career Origans women, we can have a tendency to intimidate people. So we're constantly building and becoming this but then also powerful. I gotta know how we do we make room for that. I don't make room for people that are intimidated by me, not romantically, chet Clip, just because you said that, Oh, I was checking out this enterview with Nicki Minaj. She did it with Master Flex and it talks about, you know, being a woman of a certain stature and confidence. Go ahead

and play this, Jeremiah. You all the sense of attention when you walk into the I need a very secure man and and and it's not only for Nicki Minaj. I'm just saying that's that's not the easiest thing for any successful, beautiful woman. If you're don't have a secure man, run, you're in trouble. Because this man needs to be secure in the house and out the house. He needs to be able to he needs to know. I got a good woman by my side. I don't care how many

men want her. I know she's gonna hold me down. And he shouldn't have to belittle you hel so that you can have a low self esteem so that he can feel better. Ona, I agree. I am honest. When I'm dating. I do eat a man that is not intimidated by me. I don't even entertain you, like if you oh, I wasn't gonna speak because you look like okay, well, so don't speak. Then let me just keep walking. You ain't gonna say that because that's just I'm not attracted

to that. I need to stand up, dude, I need to do that in a relationship with you, like he I mean, I probably would like I'm really big on let's talk about it. Let's talk about everything. Hey, I'm feeling you done, Hi, I'm feeling you spent a couple of months. And um, I know we have said that we were just dating and we were possibly dating other people, But what do you think about the idea of im

just so bald? Y'all? I would what do you think about the idea maybe that's just sing each other just me? You were always this bald. I hadn't been, but I just learned that. I learned thirty. Something happened at thirty. At some point you gotta choose. I chose me. And it's like, yo, if you don't sunk with it, you don't like it. That's also how we get your attention? How how does a man get your attention? Like, what's

the best compliment you ever got? Like, like, um, I think the best compliment I ever got It was from a guy that said, I forget that you're every time. I said, it's not like game every single time? But what just okay, I think some game is necessary to get to get this, to get us need a little a little bit of gain. Yeah, let me a little. I love clever and I love Weddy activity. I mean we're creatives, like exactly right, Like that's such a turn on. This guy was like, you know, I forget how fine

you are sometimes and I was like forget. He was like, right, I don't like forget, like my little ego, what do you forget? Like how you need to remind the daily reminded. He was like no, he's like you're so smart. And he was just like, your brain covers up a lot of your sexy and I was like my brain. He was like, actually, he's like, I'm more attracted to your brain, Like what like? Because that I had never heard that

people will compliment the surface stuff. Again, and I understand, I give and make it easy for people to compliment me. I do. I'm not again, I am not naive. You know, I'm not naive. So I understand that if I walk in the room somewhere with something moment, I understand you might say something. But again, that stuff, it's nice, but it doesn't hold any weight. It doesn't hold anyway. It's the niggat that told me that he likes my brain

almost whether he likes her that. I look, now I want to give him some brain, you know what I mean? Like it's just right, like I just I genuinely love compliments that make me think and make me say huh. My favorite this like most recently guys have been saying, you have such a warm energy, and that's to me,

got me because I'm from Texas. I've always said I'm I feel like I'm very girl next or probably a little more provocative than girl next door, but like I just I still have those down home, southern kind of values even through all the progressiveness, and literally the last few weeks, I've been getting You're so warm, you feel like home, and I was like, okay, let's move in together, come on, let's have somebody's like I mean, it just was so sweet and so kind and mostly can just

talk about assent TITTI. So if Nigga can say some kind stuff like a a kind man, A kind man is different. But see sometimes I feel like a car man. You know. It can be like a park. They can walk over like, oh yeah, that's my said, have some no not again, your confidence, some question, everything is okay yeah yeah, And that takes a really self aware man. I'm very self aware, so I can call my ship out. I know what I like, what I don't like, what turned me on, would turned me off? What I hate,

what I love? What what I be being jealous over? What makes me envyes like I know myself so well. I need a man in that same vein, like, hey, I don't like what you have on ba, it's really not you, it's really my own and cure. I think another that can gonna come in here and take you and you'll be and I I'd love when men are honest, and men were barely honest. So but I love when a man is self aware. That's what turns me on. That's what that's how you can get my attention. Okay,

so now they got your attention. Take on the day. What's the best date you've ever been on? Oh? I think the best day I've ever been on. That's not it, so hopefully jail. I almost let the next day I did. Um. The best date was so simple. I am an advocate for a plan. I love plans. I think plans are sexy. If you ask me out. I don't want to plan my own date. I don't. All right, So what you like to eat, what you like to do? Where you want to go, sir, I don't know. I can do

that for me. I can take myself all these places you asked me. So you figure it out, and I'm not hard to get. I'm on the Internet. Even if you're not on the Instagram. I'm on the Instagram. Do a couple of these, scroll a little bit. You can figure you can figure it out. Make it your job, seriously, if you if I'm serious about something, I stalk it. I researched it every day. I check on it every morning to check me in and take a little stalk. You want somebody to be resolutely, I want you to know.

I want you to know me. And because I'm so public on the Internet, I make it so easy. I have a podcast, I'm on five different platforms. Everything is public. Go on Twitter and see the last ten tweets I tweeted about. And then if I was talking about a book, guess what. Takes me to the library and we're gonna get that book. I'll take me to Barns and Nobles and we're gonna get that book. Like that's what I like. I like niggas that really really treat dating like it's

a job. Like, are you listening seriously taking notes right now? Because she's dropping it. Okay, I'm just saying, So my perfect date was this guy my ex this guy in my ex um he said, uh, first aid, He's like, I know I noticed on Instagram you wear a lot of hills. He was like, so, I want to take you your dinner, but I need you to bring some comfortable shoes. And that's okay. I don't know what kind of comfortable like give me cause you know, get tell

me what I'm doing. You're talking about a work flat on at a tennis shoe like a sandal, Like, what are we talking about? He's like, like some like some some jays, some some Vans, some chucks, like a tennis shoe. Bad? Got you? I can do that. So he comes and picks me up. He lives in Virginia and lives in Woodbridge, Virginia. Hey, John, Uh lives in Woodbridge, Virginia. Came to Silver Spring, Maryland, picked me up. He went back to Woodbridge, went to

one of his favorite restaurants. Uh. I don't like Svoo for real, but there was there were options there that I didn't mind. And so we have that had all the shots drive back to Silver Spring to go to the what's the concert? What's the venue? The fill? More the film? More? So we go back to the we and I work across the street from the film more TV one is right there right So he was like, hey, I'm a parking to s garage. He's like, lets go ahead and change shoes. And I was like, well, what

we what were we doing? It's nighttime. I don't know. I'm like, we just I'm just changing shoes and he was like, yeah, I just put your shoes on. Take my little had grit and I had on some so kates, some Christian Lubatan so case. So if this man would have had me in them five in shields, I would have been pissed the rest of the night. So I changed my shoes. We get out and we're walking and he's like, you know this area? Like, yeah, I worked right there. I was like, where we going? It was

like the film Moor. He's yeah, we're gonna see Nipsey Hustle. Have you ever heard of Nipsey Hustle? So two guys in seventeen and I was like, all I know is that he's Lauren London's baby daddy. I don't know anything else about it. And he was like, okay, cool, you we're gonna see him. That's so cool. Girl. We went to see Nipsey Hustle and I had on some Chucks and it was so fun. Like I was in the only and again very very simple. But he asked me

to bring shoes. That's what did it for me. And I'm just like he hecause and he said, I see you on Instagram and how you do it? Are you wear his hiss? That was so simple. You thought of me, You considered me. That's all I want. It was just

to be considered. And we stayed and it wasn't packed because back you know, on the East Coast, Nipsey wasn't huge back then, so it was mad walking room and so we were just there laughing in the bag, drinking, taking shots, watching Nipsey and it was such a beautiful night, so simple. But and only because he considered me. M I was like, sir, you because people they don't. People do not truly consider you when they not everybody not really And I think that's how you know when someone cares.

And that's how you know what dating like people are a question like are they interested? You'll know, like you think that people should ask like what are we or what's going on? Dumb? No? Or is it ever safe to say? Or what are your intentions? Or what are you looking for? Is it a thing that you should be like, yes, what I'm looking for is what i'm in right now if I'm rocking, which not necessarily because I have Do you think that some people get scares people?

Because okay, absolutely, but again, I don't want to be with you if you if you're scared, I'm okay. If if it makes you fearful, if it makes you uncomfortable, that's okay. Do you driving pressure on it? Because if we're hanging out, if we're chilling and we're relaxing, why do you have to ask me? Because I want to make sure that you're being intentional with my time. That's all. It is, like you're talking to somebody asking me. I said, hey, you know, what are your intention or what are you

looking for? Whoa? Whoa? I'm not ready for things like I'm not and I'm thinking I was like, well maybe I wasn't in the moment, and I'm just trying to figure out because even that I will be turned off, like I don't like, whoa, what do you mean? What you I'm just asking a question of money? Can calm down because it's not I'm literally just asking because if your intention is to get married tomorrow, mine isn't. That's true.

That's that's the honestly, god, honest to goodness truth. It's not I don't want to get married tomorrow said, like anybody is saying they jump in a relationship. So she's taking up a lot of my side, especially telling people what the hell Okay, that's a different layer, you know, especially because we spend time with each other. So I think it's so important. It's so important to just first conversation if you need to second conversation, Yo, what you want? Like,

y'all know you asked me out. Excuse me, I know you asked me out. Um, you want to have sex, you want to date and have sex, going to be friends with benefits, movie by Man probably maybe sex and friends with I don't know. A few people just be like, well he's not really, but I have no idea what People some stuff and catch some things and it's like, but I thought we were this. I think it is incredibly important to be honest up front. They don't have

to have it on the first conversation, you know. But I do think if we were spending time with someone, consents to time, whether that's on the phone or email, Uh, fly in picking up, going over there, he's coming over your house. If we invest in time and energy, Moniga, let's we can talk. And it shouldn't be a you know, crazy like what what do you mean? What's happening? Why would you ask that? That's too much, Like, let's grow up. We're spending. We don't ask questions you should. We don't

get time back. It's the one thing we don't ever get back. So if I'm spending with you, I'm sending three days out of the week with you, my niggading. Yeah, I want to know, and any answer is okay, anyone you want to give me. It's like the love of comfortability to have with themselves self awareness. It's like, what the what is it us? It's okay because at the moment that I don't like the answer, and I'm like,

we know, I really was only wanting this. And I also think that we always think that men always get weirder, that women get weirded out too, And it's like, I want everybody just to be honest. That's what makes dating. But this has to be a love of vulnerability. So for sure, and let's let's let's see. Um, you know you've been talking about dating. You've been saying, but how honest, do you feel that you're showing up with dating? And what I mean by that is because I was checking

out your episode Somebody Somebody. Oh yeah, do you remember that episode? Like that damn favorite episode? And that's I was like, I know we've been talking for a minute, but I mean, you've got so much jews. Um here it's saying it's like you know your response, yeah, And that's where I feel like. You know, you say like, um, talk about dating. You know, you said like before, you know, jumping a relationship. So as far, it's like connecting with

a man has nothing that you have not done. But you said, every man in your life growing up has left, has left that has loved you, has left you. Every man in my life growing up that I loved has left me. So what is it like dating your father

less daughter. It's hard. It's hard as fuck. I always wonder like how that's going to affect, you know, whether if I decide if I end up with a man or if I end up with a woman, because I feel like it's still that kind of connection that I don't I don't know, you know, I don't know what I would expect, I guess from me growing up without a father. I didn't know the place that a father was to take or a man to take in the household,

and so I feel get some way of overcompensating. So that's what I'm saying with my controlling allowing a man to have a place I have to have a place, so controlling, I know. Yeah, Oh my god, we're talking so much because I guess you gotta come back onside. We gotta talk to come back whatever you want to Fine, this was a beautiful, beautiful conversation. Thank you, Thank you

for inviting me. Seriously, thank you so much for listening. Man, if you would like to be on the show, If you have somebody that you want to recommend to be on the show, go ahead and email us Vitamin D at the Dawn day Speaks dot com. Okay, oh, so you know I have Vitamin D advice letters, so you can write and if you want some advice on love, relationship, work, purpose, anything that is concerning you. And I'm gonna give you

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But I'd love to share my insight with you, Okay. Also, you know this is my dream. You know that I've risked everything on this. You know we started from underneath the sheets in New York City and now we're in Studio E and Sherman Oaks, California. Vitamin D. I need you to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody else to subscribe to Vitamin D with Dawn Day and let them know that we're available on all of the platforms wherever you get your favorite podcast. Okay, help my dream.

I'm planning to be here for a long time. You gotta lot you gonna learn about me. Okay, we got a lot we're actually gonna learn together. So let's start now right. If you'd like to get more content on the show, I want to encourage you to follow us on social media. Vitamin D Dawn Day everywhere, so you get clips, some of the interviews, some insights, we got quotes, we got pictures, we got a morning motivation and inspiration

stuff like all good things. Just shedding light. Vide him in Ddwing Day and then if you want the real d Hey, I want you to follow me on all social media. Dawn Day Speaks. Okay, I can't wait to hear from you. Okay, well I'm heading out of here. I want you to be amazing, I want you to be great, and I want you to get excited about your life. You know, I say, I'm in the business of making dreams come true. And my damn show ain't

gonna forget about Matt. So until next time, always remember you are your greatest at sided, get your right em in right with me, and get excited about your lives.