Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into the Vitamin D with Dawn Day podcast and I am your host, Dawn Day, here to get you excited about your life so that you can live life on purpose and for a purpose. And this is your first time tuning in and welcome Vitamin D. It's upon off my name. My name is Dawn, and you get Vitamin D from the sun. So I'm here to shed light into your life.
And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if you want to be better and you want to do better, then you're going to have to be able to see better. So join me on this journey of living our best lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest ass act. You know what I was thinking. I was wondering, at what point do people give up on their dreams?
Like when does it happen? I just look around a lot of people that I grew up with and who we talked about having dreams and aspirations, and then looking at who's still in pursuit and those who have transition shouldn't or kind of just relinquished it. And I guess this conversation brings upon because I was talking to a friend from college. I want to say, former Judy, we're we don't talk right now, We're not cool. But you know, when you know somebody long enough, you love them. And
they said you gotta be vulnerable. So I was telling l J, my nephew. I was telling l J about this today actually before I got into the studio, and I was telling how disturbed I wasn't how it really hurt my feelings because we met in college and I met him with his love of production. I see, I'm a nineties kind of girl. If you know me, if you met me in person and you know my persona, you know I love me some nineties music. That's where
I resighed. And one of the producers behind of several nineties tracks that I loved in the nineties and thousands is Rowdy Jerkins, a k A. Dark Child who's also his favorite music producer. And in college, this man was skip class in his room, not be as he was out partying, because he was out there producing on his MPC machine track for I mean going into zones like we're going on trips. So summer vacation. No, he's in New York at Clive Davids Music School. So anyway, I
hate him up. Even though we're not talking, I still got love for you because I saw on Instagram Why I Need Jerkins is partnering up with this company called Protege or Protege, and I guess they're all from the opportunity. You submit a project and then you have two studio sessions with him. So immediately I saw this hit and send it to him. He's like, oh my gosh, he's like the legend. In fact, I'm about to read you
exactly because I'm still in shock. Let me scroll down. Okay, he says, the legend incredible talent, and he said, um, but I'm too old now, I'll leave that to the little babies. What I guess I was a shock because I'm like, here's an opportunity of somebody that you've always dreamt about, that you've always desired, and your excuses that you say that you're too old? How do we how do we forget how to dream? Like? Have you? Have
you gotten to that point? And I told l J. I said, please, don't ever be like that, don't ever give up on yourself. I had to reply. I said, remember, it's about your experience, and it never hurts to try. I think you're worth taking a chance. You can't say that you're old, too older, that's too late, because you're not dead. It ain't no such thing as being too dead, because once you're dad get dead and gone. So I'm just saying, how about we just start to live while
we're still alive. I'm not saying functioning. I'm saying living, and that is being and that is doing. Huh what do you say to that? How does that make you feel? Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Are you thinking about something that you try to put out to the wayside because you felt maybe you weren't ready and you weren't prepared. You don't have enough knowledge, You're not in the right place, you don't have the death experience. I don't know what
it is. I just know that you better go after it because you can't escape it. It's gonna come back on you. Huh. So I figured, why don't you chase it before he chases you? Get right with me and get excited about Hello, how you doing? What's up doing? Day is here? You know what time? It is um,
we are diving into the Vitamin D advice letter back. Yes, you know that time we all write me in with some issues about relationships, about love, about life, about your career, about whatever you're feeling, and you're like doing I want some advice, and I'm like, y'all, I'm here for it, but understand that I'm gonna keep a g with you.
So I come really when I read these letters, and I want you to know that when you come into Vitamin D, we all about shedding the light, and we shed the light is on the good in the bed. Because what do I say? If you want to be better and you want to do better, it got to be able to see better. So I keep sit real with you. Okay, so let's dive in. Here we go. Subject. Am I a fool for staying after he lied? You
got your popcorn, you got your dright, Okay, here we go. Hi, Dawn, I am a twenty seven year old woman living in the d m V area and I need some relationship advice. I recently started dating this man. He has a stable job, he knows how to take care of himself, and the sex is amazing. He's got the bare minimum requirements I look for in the man, but wait, I gotta be a bare minimum. Anyway, when we met, he told me
he had two kids from two different women. One of the kids is seventeen and the other is about ten. I normally don't date men with kids because of possible baby mama drama. But from what I have heard, his relationship with the women he has kids with isn't crazy. All in all, I know what I'm getting into, or so I thought. My best friend is an amazing investigator.
She could eat easily be an FBI agent. So I'm relaxing at home this past week and my best friend texts me and says that she needs to show me something. She sends me a Facebook link and when I open it, it brings me to the profile of this random woman. I check out our page and I come across the post. This post has my man in it. Not only does it have my man in it, but there is a newborn in the photo with him and this woman. The baby is his because the capture of the photo says
we're parents now. I did not know about this baby, Dawn. This post is from about six months ago. I have been dating this man for three months. Now. I confronted him about it, and he explained he was scared that I would leave him and apologize for keeping this third child of secret. I love the way he makes me feel, but this just made it hard to trust him. Should I end things with him? What a man? What a man? What a man? Is he? A mighty good man? Child?
They say, let's sleeping dogs? Lie? They said, once a lie is always a lie. But you know a butterfly was once a caterpillar. Hey, catch it. People do have the ability to change. But I don't know, Sis, can we be real about it? How would you ever know you can trust him? You know, this is when you need some Kiana in here, because you know, this is what we talk about, showing up to the table and knowing what you're getting from the table. What I mean by that is that this is the foundation that you
start in this relationship on. You didn't even know that he had a child. What else is it that you did not know? Mm hmm. And I think oftentimes we're stepping these relationships are we're working on building things together and we don't even know what it is that we have the tools to be building. When because people are showing up people are not showing up who it is that they are. And that's what I think. It's unfair because now you find yourself in a situation with someone
without having a choice. You don't have the choice because you don't know what it is that you've signed up for. Especially if you're somebody who's communicating, you think that it's one thing and it really isn't has to someone. Don't think people do this to be malicious. I just think people have some healing to do that they haven't taken time to do that. So you say, hey, darn, should I end things with him? Well? I have to ask you what is it that you want and what is
it that you value? What is important to you? How important is communication with you? Are you a believer in? How you do anything? Is how you'll do everything? Well? This affect how much you trust him? Does this affect how you feel about yourself? I'm just wondering. You know, three months is definitely still a budding part of the relationship.
But why is it that when we talk about showing up in relationships and we talk about creating a safe space, what are you building wen It wasn't about the fact that he wanted to lie to you because he wanted to cheat, he says, and let me um, let me read what he says. He says he was scared that I would leave him and apologize from keeping the third child. The secret relationship is all about creating a safe space. You know. I was just saying before, people like, don
what you're looking for? And first I will always say I'm looking for a relationship, and it's like, no, I'm looking for somebody that I can be vulnerable with, that I can be myself with, that I can be honest with. And I think that's something that you got to think about too. What is it that you're seeking with this relationship? Is not only about what it is that you want, but what kind of space do you want to make room for the person who's entering this relationship with you.
I don't know about you, but I want you to funk with me where you feel comfortable. I want you to be able to tell me things that you may be scared to tell other people, because that's the connection we have. But I think when we come into relationships oftentimes we got so much of the ego on trying to protect ourselves from getting hurt. Well, how are we relating if you got everything on and a relation. For me,
it's about taking things off. And I know you say, oh, this feels so good, but I gotta say, how you do anything, it's how you'll do everything. I don't think that it's not about whether or not he can change. I think that's a possibility. But what I think more important and what I hear overall, is the fact that
there's a lack of comfortability, lack of vulnerability. And you know, as Kiana when she was talking about when talking about passionate communication, you gotta have love, you gotta have trust, you gotta have respect, and you have to feel safe. Oftentimes we don't. We're not honest because we don't feel safe. And if we don't feel safe, how are we to trust? How can you trust those that you don't love? Mhmm. These are just things to think about. So it's easy
for me to say yes. But I know she I was talking to somebody for a month and my assles and thralled, and your ass did three months, damn, And that ain't even a long time. But I'm just saying I can imagine what emotions you have invested. But the fact that he was fearing that she was gonna leave it. I say this, y'all gotta talk about it and trust your gut because I'm gonna look on the outside. I don't know about him. I don't know the dynamics. I don't know what kind of space did you make room
for that? And that's not your responsibility. Your responsibility to show up. And then whether or not you organically or that space is created is creative. But overall, it's like, you gotta be comfortable and being honest about what it is you want and who you are so that I can see who you are. And right now he got a lot on holding seen since he said, oh, I thought you was gonna leave me, so what so? So
what does that mean? So the next time that you come into a situation that you think you might I might leave you, does that not mean you're gonna be honest? One thing I was realized and I was checking out this video, um hell, I had Anton People's on there, and I said, what does it mean to live? And he was talking about love and to live is to be free. Love is free, It doesn't control, it doesn't
hold you back. And I'm assuming that you in this relationship that you are hoping or you are moving towards a direction working blossom and love or what are you building on. I don't want nobody that's gonna have allowed me to try to hold me hostage. Let me be free and let me choose you. That's another thing too. So now he's gonna not tell you the truth or withhold information out of fear he might lose you. Right,
what's the student, mate? How is that to support what you guys are doing and what you guys are going after? M hmm. Love is not gonna try to hold you bad. Love is not gonna tell you what you can do. In fact, love will encourage you all the things that you can do. Side this has been at the bel callaway peace. What's up everybody? This is trade change and you are listening to violent with down day. I want you to be more free, want you to be more
wants you to be your best man. I saw we have to be mindful when we say what it is that we want. It's good to have a relationship or having relations with all kinds of things, but how about one the space of vulnerability a space to be safe, and that should be in every aspect because it shouldn't always be in the intimate it should be in the potnic relationships as well, because what do I say, how you do anything is how you'll do everything. So when
you ask me, hey, Dawn, should I end things with him? Well, I have to ask you this. Do you have an area or a space where you can guys can feel comfortable talking because right now, if we walk away with the whole notion of he's scared that you may leave him for something, get the hell out of Doge. It's time to go right down, because then I gotta ask you if he ever gets in a panic space, or if you ever feel so upset and you're like, you know what, I don't want to do this anymore. Let's
just say his name is Roger. Roger, you're telling the truth, baby, I'm telling true. What hell? You just threaten that you was gonna leave him? So what else are you gonna keep from? E boo? But like I said, a butterfly was once a caterpillar. So people have the ability to change, and your communication is to express how that made you feel. That's another thing. When we're getting these conversations with people
and these relationships, be mindful how you're communicating. Don't just be out there blaming people, pulling the figure you did this, you did That's how about we come to the point of how somebody feels, you know, because when you love, when you care about somebody, when you chair somebody, when you support somebody, when you hold somebody near and dear to you, you're more concerned with how they felt. So, um, missfool or you questioning? If you a fool for staying
after he lied? What that's up to you? Bo? Are you opening for the communication now? If you say doing, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm gonna just stay and see how things work out. Y'all. I think you're a fool and I think you should end it. But if you can create a space where you guys can have an open dialogue to see where he's coming from, it's something to entertain. But as a right now, it's not looking too good because you know something is to
be said. People operate out of fear. Hell, you know, That's what I was thinking about today. I think there's one thing to think about people who are evil, but it's something else. When people who are fearful, insecure, I think they might be more dangerous because they show up as people that can get more close to you, and you know, the closer people aren't you, the more effect
they can have on you. And oftentimes when people look at you and disdain out of jealousy, out of hurt, out of resentment, it's like that wound goes a little deeper, it hits you a little differently. And I just wouldn't want you to be in a situation that has you bound to somebody who operates out of fear of trying to hold you down, trying to hold you back, because you know what that sounds like. That sounds like some
other fucking manipulation about to go down. You know what I'm saying, if you really read it, because it wasn't because I didn't feel secure about who I am. It was because your actions of that, you might leave well very well. If somebody isn't being honest with you and you damn just had a baby a couple of months ago, it won't like the baby just by the and then you up in the here, hold on, let's go back. Ain't nobody, ain't ain't nobody wondering why I says we're
parents now? With a heart, I don't even tell you it had a heart. Is it still a relationship going on? How offen has he been? All for this new thing? You think? And further of all, okay, change it up. I think I'll change my answer. I think you might shall leave him. You might shall leave him because what what what? What? What? What? What are you trying to build with this man? Because now I just had to really think about things. I just had to really think
about things. And the fact that this man has a six month old child. You've been dating him for three months. Who the hell been taking care of the baby the other three months? Who? Because if he was with you, who was with the baby? Why wasn't he concerned? Who was the baby? Why isn't he there feeding the baby, changing diaper? You didn't notice his absence, You didn't notice he lacks of sleep, He wasn't looking a little tired to you. He didn't have any priorities to go to
a doctor's appointment. Those are just things to think about and it can't be like, oh I forgot I didn't want to burning you know, that should have been your priority because you just brought a new life. So I had to think about it. But the answer has changed. Yes, I would in thinks of them. Yeah, because we ain't talking about of you know, we're not talking about something that's a variable, like something that can change. It's your child. So wait a minute, hell yeah, because wait, had you
not seen the picture, would you have found out? Oh? Oh hell oh? Now yeah, you gotte. I had to really digest that. I'm glad I did take him into that that was organic because usually I take the letter I'll read to write a response, but I read. I told Jeremy. I was like, come on, well, let's go ahead and do this, and then I just digested it some more. Uh. You know, we'll be asking for discernment, right, we'll be asking for the signs like how did I
get myself in this mess? And I think these are the signs that we need to look at, Like this is a huge retch flag And it's not so much it is everything because he lied, but it's the context. It's everything that's layered into that lie, because let's face it, we all lie. No. No, I'll be the first one. Look, I've had said some lives here in there. I mean, a lie is a lot of mom means to say. First of all, we weren't even supposed to say lie. We only could say the telling the story. Um, but
about your child? Why are you lying about your children? That's weird, that's a little crazy. I don't like that word. I'm judging. I am judging. Um. Yeah, that's all. I got what you're saying. What do you think? Do you see your leaving? Right? I mean? Who does that? And more so, it's about what it is that you're accepting, and I think that's that needs to be evaluated. How do you feel about yourself? Do you want children? Could you see him as the father of your child? All right?
That's it? Um. I hope that answered you, or at least giving you some inside of a different perspective. I like it because I was able to walk through it with you about to ask like, oh my gosh, it's a lie, but oh we love him. Oh he's scared that, I said the way to damn man, at you don't have to somebody be giving you some information or somebody coming and say something give me like up, That's what just happened to me. I said, wait a minute, this maybe here for six months. I've been diad you for
three what's you've been doing? Who can take your hair to baby, So it'd be like that and shout out to you. Tell everybody in the d n V. I said, what I though, I'm thinking about coming out there, um for home coming this year, y'all, I said, doing it might be time to come back to hours. So, um, you didn't give me your name, but if you see me outside, I side with up though. All right, um, okay, that's that's the advice letter. So I want to encourage you.
Do you need some advice, go ahead and email us Vitamin D at Dawn Day Speaks dot com. If I don't see myself, Jeremiah will see and then he will give it to me and we'll be sure to uh perhaps apply on the air. And also if you'd like to be a guest or you know, interview and we can share your story or talk about a product or something amazing I'd love to shed light on you, go ahead send us an email Vitamin D at Dawn Day
Speaks dot com. Okay, and you can also send your own advice letters same email address, and and and are you loving us? Make sure you tell somebody to tell somebody else that Dawn Day got a podcast. It's called Vitamin D and it's all about getting you excited about your life so that you can live life on purpose and for a purpose. That's what we do. Um, so yeah, do that and then have them rate the podcast okay, because we need to get them stars up so people
be like, oh, should I check it out? You're like, yo, check it out because all she's gonna do is inspire. You would tell you how dope you are so you can believe in yourself when you hear these amazing stories. And I'm gonna put you on me with E saw me when win when? Um? Also, oh, are you enjoying what you're listening? You're like down? What does don't even look like I'm different from that picture that you see on that podcast. Jeremiah is like, yeah, listen, chill out.
I'm a gonna say I'm about to take some more pictures anyway. UM, make sure you follow us on social media where everywhere Vitamin D doing that. You can check us on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok are we gonna stop chat no, um, but all those other places you can check us out and see us there, and then you know I have my own social media had to ex hair like that because you know you're not gonna do all. My answer at dawn day speaks to me. Up,
I'm just joking anyway. Let me get out of the studio, act like I got some sense. I hope you do something for yourself today. Do something that says I love you and make yourself feel good. In fact, are you in a car where you at find a mirror, look at the window, look at the reflection and say you dope, it's hell. In fact, look and I want you to do what I'll be doing. This is what I do when I get at the house before I go work out,
I go for my Walker song. I'm like, you're fine, You're so damn fine, and then I'll just be on my day. So say something to yourself to make you feel good and be good to somebody. All right, Okay, I'm hearing out the studio. You don't always say, I'm in the business and making dreams come true. And I damn sure ain't gonna forget about mind. So until next time, always remember you are your greatest asside, get your body, mandy right with me, and get excited about your lives.