Live Life On Purpose (w/ Ashley Johnson)

there's so many people without jobs right now. And then the one that hits the top tier for me, and that's dealing with the loss of loved ones. And that made me think, are we having the conversations about death as far as how to prepare? What is it that we want? And that leads me with my guest today. Now you've heard of a doola, right, A doula is traditionally known to bring life into the world. Well, my guest, Ashley Johnson, is a death doola and she's also the

founder of Loyal Hands. It's an organization offering end of life transition services to help people have a healthy relationship when it comes to the ends. Of their lives. It's definitely a sectical to see when people actually embrace the fact that they are transitioning and take power into that whole aspect of mystery, but incorporating happiness with it. And it takes me back even dealing with my mother and when she had her transition, I didn't know what she wanted.

We never talked about it because for some reason we have this thought process that this day will never come. But guess what, It's inevitable. And rather than putting the pressure on your loved ones to make decisions, or even the pressure of yourself of trying to have to figure it out, maybe you need to hire an organization like Loyal Hands, find yourself a death doula. So you're probably curious at this point what exactly is a death doula and what do they do? Well, no need to wonder

any longer. It's time for your dose Survitamin D. Right with me and get excited about your lives. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the Vitamin D Podcast. I have an interesting conversation in store for you today. Um I have a special guest. Her name is Ashley Johnson. She is the founder of Loyal Hands, an organization offering end of life transition services. Yes, just like a doula brings life into the world, were Ashley's business is all about transitioning life

out of this realm. So without further ado, please help me. Welcome to the Vitamin D Podcast, Miss Ashley Johnson. Ashley, how are you? I am amazing, Thank you, thank you. That was an amazing introduction. Um. Yes, I am Ashley. I am the founder of Loyal Hands into Life DULAS. I am a certified end of life doula Q the organ done UM. A lot of people are familiar with the word doula. It's like so not a misus with

you know, being the birth do la um. Until recently, there's been a lot of advocacy for people that are transitioning out and if you think about it, a lot of us birth dolers and death dolers we pretty much do the same thing. And we require ourselves to be fearless, patient and calm first and foremost because we have to be there and be present for our families, for the families and for the people that are transitioning. How did you get into this line of work? Okay, I would

love to tell you like a fairy fairytale story. But I honestly I got into this line of work. It's been since I was young. I gravitated towards people that were elderly and transitioning. Even I would look at the uh, you know, the Sunday paper they come out with the comics. I would look at the obituaries and it would find such amazement with the stories that they would tell, um, the history and things there, you know, their legacy. And then from there I went to school, you know, duated

from the University of Florida, soillulgators. But and after that I became into deathcare like for the over a decade. Wow. Yeah, honestly, it's crazy. It's not something that you hear all the time. A death dula, end of life doulah um. A lot of people are foreign to it. A lot of people don't even like to talk about death, so that in

itself is foreign. So literally, um, I'm here, a lot of end of life dulas are coming to the forefront to actually speak about death, to actually to talk about it because, as you know, like a lot of cultures that was hush hush, especially in Western society, we don't talk about it, and we act like if we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist, it won't happen, right, and it happens. And right now with COVID nineteen happening,

it's something we have to think about. Correct. Crazy crazy, crazy, And that's the thing right now with COVID nineteen, it's brought death to the forefront. A lot of people are we're talking about it to people are afraid of it. Um I will say that we have increased our calls on people having anxiety and stress about talking about death and things like that, and it's all really due to COVID because people are we're not ready, we haven't had

those conversations. A lot of people when there's when they get when their family member get gets COVID nineteen, they don't have their rights in order, so they don't know if their loved one wants a d n R or have all the like, have all the medical work to help them or anything like that. So that's definitely cranked up a lot because people are not we're talking about it. So why do you think we're afraid of talking about death? Like, what's the perception? Is it scary? Should it be scary?

It's a taboo. That's the thing. It is a taboo of you know, people think if we talk about it is happening, death is gonna come to our door. I'm one, I'm not talking about it. I'm not. I do talk about it. I take that back, I'm not manifesting on it. I like to address that, Leph another room. Just how we're born, we will transition um, but we and the thing is, we're only born once and we will transition only once. So we want to make sure it's a

good transition. We want to make sure like we have our our our rights and our advanced directives and things like that in order so when things happen and they go away, that everything that we wanted is followed through. So yeah, I you know, so I know from being a death like, I think that you should talk about it. It's just as much as we talk about death with our sex, with um, with adolescents. You know, we have to talk about it. We have to address it because

it's not like it's not going to happen. It's nothing that you can avoid. And it reminds me of even losing my mother and even the various loved ones. There is a weight that you carry to make sure what should I do if anything were to happen, Then you don't want to live with the idea of did I make the right decision? So that's amazing to hear as a child you're up here reading obituaries instead of comic books. I really think my mom should have probably been paying attention,

like what is wrong with this kid? Are you walking into a gift? Because I'm sure not. We're going to talk about this, how your your passion, your your line of work probably saves lives in a business that's catered to lives transitioning out of this world, right, right, right, and right. So yeah, definitely being it's being a millennial like that that right there in itself, it's like a go getter type of I won't say all millennials, I should preferce that, but let's just were got off from

an optimistic point of view. But literally, I say with the end of like Dolus, we millennials are taking charge and like we want to talk about it. We listen, get a lot of millennials that are coming to the forefront and they're like kind of curious because it was it's such a taboo thing. So We're like they're asking questions because they're like this is kind of forbidden, so we're kind of interested in intrigued, which is good. Cool, let's talk about it. Like I give a lot of

kudos to baby boomers. Baby boomers, Um, if you look back at it, they were the trend setters. They were the ones that started like the get fit and healthy. Um. They and now that they're aging at astronomical rate, it's they waited later to have children and things like that. So now that they're they've lived a holistic and healthy life, now they want to transition as well in in a in a not so normal lifestyle. So yeah, so have

you seen that's more positive or negative? It's positive. Um. Working with baby boomers, it's like they aren't afraid to talk about it. They know the inevitable is coming. Um, it makes it. They honestly, they drop off so many jewels. Um. They definitely tell you about the keys of life, what they learned throughout the way, What was the most important, what wasn't what? Why are you wasting your time with X, Y and Z when you should just go live your

life and be happy with blah blah blah. Like I one quote like I can say that I have a client that is transitioning, um and he is a millionaire, and he he will tell me, like, you know, he has a fleet of cars, fleets of cars outside his house and he'll say, Ashley, I can't even drive these cars. I scoured the world to get these cars. He would he would find exotic cars, foreign cars and travel to them and that was his thing. And now that he's transitioning that he's like, I can't take these with me.

And he's like, I worked day and night so I can afford that luxury to do what I wanted to do. I took away time from my family, know, working hard, and now I can't even take that with me. So he has regrets of this, and it's like heavy things. And he's like, you know, spend time with your loved ones, like and you're like, yeah, I do that regularly. But then you're like, no, just because you're spending you're spending a lot of time doesn't mean you're spending quality time.

So you want to Then you're like, I want to spend quality time. When people asked ask those provoking questions like hey, grandma, how how was it when you grew up, like you know things like that, like tell me about your childhood and random stories. So and I love that's what you said, because that's something that I talked about your life bank account, Because your life bank accounts, you have to discern what kind of deposits versus liabilities are

you making there and what makes it worthwhile? Like how are you spending your time? Because yes, we want the American dream, Yes we want to travel, Yes we want these cars, Yes we want this lifestyle. But then you think about it the quality of your life while you're making deposits, what are the liabilities and does it balance out? It doesn't mean you can't have it. So thank you for sharing that. And as I see, like you are

very wise and beyond your years. So I'm just wondering what was life growing up for you and how did that affect your ability or how did that and enhance your decision to form loyal hands um. Honestly, life for me growing up as a as a child, I grew up in a single parent household and uh a low income neighborhood. And pretty much how that transitioned to me into getting into this life, this line of work is

because I grew up in the neighborhood. I group that the neighborhood that I grew up in and locked the advocacy UM how to deal with end of life process. So death happened as it happens every day, but families weren't emotionally or mentally financially prepared. So families weren't healing from these traumas their loved ones would either not healing from them. And so therefore we create a general you start.

I look back now, a lot of generational traumas were recreated because they were we weren't healing, we weren't talking about it, the mental aspect of it. UM. So that was like the framework I saw that I you know, I saw that we were repeating the same cycle. So literally it came to be when a good friend of mine got colon cancer UM at the age of twenty seven. UM I was doing a lot of the end of

life doula work without a title. It was just something natural um innate I was definitely at the hospitals by her bedside, helping her make really in depth like decisions on how she wanted to carry out the rest of her life, how does she want to leave her legacy? She didn't have any children, so how does she want

to have her legacy? So once she transitioned, I saw fit to provide others in need of end of life education like or holistic services and companionship because like I said before, like everybody deserves a good death and families need proper closure. So would you say that your services is more for the person that is transitioning or for the loved ones that are dealing with the other love one that is transitioning both. I deal with both, um, because a lot of loved ones they don't understand the

process of tim They think it's a final goodbye. They take it as a final goodbye and things like that. Um, I I my whole. When I am hired to be like the end of life do la I I come in there as an advocate for the person that is transitioning. I want to make sure that what they want to be done by the time they transition is actually properly executed UM. And also taking care of the family because I know the family can't pour from an empty cup.

So there's times where I will you do I will bring like, um, what is it called I have a footsak? So the do you know, the loved ones, I just a little pamper metime because as they are taking care of their loved ones and and how they remorse and grieving while that loved one is still a life, I like to bring them into an element of focus then on themselves. I am here here like relax because you can't pour from the empty cup, So so you're offering

a foot so for the loved ones. Yeah, well, I definitely cater because I I'm not there twenty four hours a day, So I educate the loved ones and what's the steps that are happening, and so many questions. I'm just trying to think of how to gather them ask away. So let's let's even thinking about your good girlfriend that you lost, and you're saying how you were doing all these practices and not realizing that this was helping to form you're soon to be business. Now I'm wondering, how

did you get the strength? Doesn't did you? Was it for certain that she was transitioning out of here? I'm just thinking, if I have a loved one, how I don't even know how? I need you right right? And it literally it was when you have for her in her situation. When that happened, it was her on colleges came in and told her her options, and at that time he told her, hey, we're gonna start chemo. We're gonna start chemo. Um, this means that you most likely

won't be able to have children. You know, that's that's heavy. You know, as a woman, you're like, wait, I need to decide right now my life or the ability if I need to have children, even though I wasn't thinking of having children right now, but now we have this, and so it was like, okay, this is a this is a heavy decision. What do you want to do. And it's like, okay, you're you want to want it, like prolong her life. And I was like, you know what,

that's great. That is your decision on what you want to do. There's plenty of other options. We you could you can have your eggs harvested, you could have you can adopt children, you can foster children, you can be a big brother Big Sister program. There's many options. So you think we're thinking outside the box. And then from

there it just escalated from other other decisions. I became her point person like I don't know how to tell my mom this because now you're you're coming into a situation where the doctors are telling you things and you have to tell your mom. You know, you know my last my last process, you know, my last therapy did not go so good? So how do I tell my

mom that it's not going good? And it's just like that, it is very hard to tell your mom that she's going to that she could possibly be losing a child, and how to break that news. It's it's hard. So and I at that time, I promise you I didn't have any formal training. So this is literally coming from as my sister, my my sister friend you know, uh, just being what would I do how you know, being an active listener and what what I do put in

myself in her situation. And that's how literally it developed. Wow it was it wasn't heavy, it was definitely heavy. Um. I carry her essence with me daily. UM, I can't front. Like the reason that I that I'm really doing this is because when she transitioned, it was in peace. It wasn't it wasn't something traumatic. It was in peace and who she wanted to be around her, what she wanted. Um.

And so that's like literally a driving force. And I'm like, you see so many people, especially how I was growing up, that wasn't their situation, and so their loved ones that are still living didn't have that trauma, like, oh my gosh, they were they were in a hospital bed, the doctors weren't attentive, the family affairs were in order, and it's so much stress. It wasn't she didn't have stress. She was she literally was like went to sleep. It was

very peaceful. So that's what that element I would like to extend to everybody to have something peaceful. Everything else is secured, right because in your peaceful mind, you can think. And more importantly what you said and I think we may mention, is about how important it is to be present, yeah,

in the moment and not having to worry. So now that you move forward and let's just talk about this, tell us how you implemented your educational experience, because did you know about this career path or did you kind of cultivated I did not know about the whole career path of being the end of life do la um as I said. I graduated from a University of Florida with a degree in anthropology and a background in chemistry. UM. I went on to work in a background and like

death services. So from working in a more um working in a lab, it's been so I was able to see all different types of scenarios with death and dying from like with hospice and things like that. So with that, it just literally when she transitioned, I was like, I want to help people, but how can I help people? How? Like you start? I started reaching out to like organizations and seeing you know, this is this is the idea that I have. Is there something that I can that

I can do? Um? Literally I found like there's there was a whole curriculum and backgrounds in schools that educate people on how to help people with being an end of life doulah. I definitely will say like, um, it helps, it definitely it helps right now for me, I will say it helps for me. I take, I've taken the programs, became need A proficient. It's a it's ah, how can I describe that? Oh my gosh, it's like core curriculums for how to be an end of life dula. So

I became a certified end of life doula. I became a need a proficient end of life doula, I will tell you I'm always a student. I'm always learning. Everybody is diverse, There's so many different aspects of people. That's where like my anthropology comes in. I love that. I love to study in and immerse myself in cultures and practices. So that literally spearheaded me to be where I am right now. That is amazing and I love that. So

with loyal hands, what kind of UH experience? What type of training do you go through with your your dulas? So with our dulas, they come from various walks of life. UM, their skills, their interests and everything, but the bare basics that are loyal hands dulas they must have. They have to graduate from a training program. UM, they must be needed proficient. Like I said it me that means meeting core proficiencies to be an end of life doula UM and also volunteer. How do you know if this is

something you want? Because it is very different if you don't immerse yourself and be like you know, be around people that are transitioning in all aspects. What do you mean by in all aspects? Because as end of life doula, we definitely we deal with the elderly we deal with the dying, but there's a lot that we deal with

and aspects of people that are just normally healthy. They just want to make sure that their affairs in order because they know death can happen at any minute, like right now, COVID nineteen is happening, and a lot of people are coming to just to have their advanced directives and their advanced care planning in order so if something happens that if they have to go into the hospital, their family knows what they want um the life saving

procedures that they want, and if something turned fatal, they would know how to properly execute their last will and testament. And you're saying that would be basically if so, But I'm thinking from my stuff, if I'm interested, I would already have to be around people like that and and

have exercise that, because how would I know? Right? Education is key because a lot of people, you know, they don't know about end of life duelists and and people that when they do hear about end of life doul iss they think it's like a hoshposh, like very fancy, like only celebrities can have end of life doulas, And it's the furthest thing from the truth. It's end of life doers is you're, like I said, your advocate, and it's something as simple as if you wanted to get

like a Google search. We're like, it's a you can Google search with a lot of dulas are end of life practices will pop up. So it's it's definitely something new a lot of things. It is something that's foreign as a taboo, especially like I said, Western night culture, we tend to avoid talking about death and dying. So you know, now for so just going on a Google search and just simply finding someone to say, you know, death doula, that's how it would find a death doula.

You definitely could you That's definitely like there's websites that cater to a whole variety of um spectrums of death duel as you can. And then you can call and see, hey, just how you interview your like for me personally, you interview your doctors or just to see if your chemistry is good because a lot of people they call us um, but we need to make sure our chemistry is good.

You just just because you call, you know, we do a standardized initial interview and see what your services that you do need and that you are requesting because sometimes it's like a legacy you want to create a legacy project, and we have a we have a duela that's great with building a whole legacy project, and we do an interview like that because we want your end of life to be great. We want to energy, we want your

vibes to be high. So we want to make sure that we connect you with somebody that's going to compliment you and not just make you feel like they're just here for a job. Now, you just mentioned something, you said a legacy project, which made me think, what are the available resources that you offer? Oh variety? So end of life do list were? We pretty much collaborate with hospices and powertive care. We are a team, okay, And I was wondering what that difference was. Yeah, so we

pretty much we compliment them. We pretty much fill in the gap that they have in the whole dying process. So that means we were helping them with non medical care like advanced care planning, um, creating a support team for the family. But you know, you have family members that they don't know how to care for their family member at the end. So it's just like one destined family member that's taking care of everything. So you have moments like that, so you're like, hey, let me pull,

let's pull all together and let's delegate tasks. Um. Obviously we helped with with household errands. We household errands, we hold a visual visual um. We create these legacy projects. We provide were companions with our dying in their families. We literally immerse ourselves within the family to become family

um with that whole process. So we we can get in there and the very beginning phases when they get their diagnosis of you know, a terminal illness, to where at the very end where the family is like just coping with the whole transition process, and they just they can't be in the room while their loved one passes away. So we're in there so their love one doesn't pass

away by themselves. I guess I gotta flashes. I just thought immediately, I'm thinking to myself, how do you handle all of this, Ashley, and and I guess because a lot of people think of death and the sadness, I can only wonder, because you are in this line of work, what do you think is the valuable way to actually look at the end of life as well as and dive.

You know, is a great question because I am able to learn something from every person that hires myself, um and the value of life and how precious that it is. So I gained a lot of respect for the whole transitioning process because I know that everything with life is all of it's all a transition, it's all a cycle.

As if we see the seasons, it's that's exactly mimics our life, and so we need to enjoy every moment of it, even the good, the bad, especially the ugly, because there's a learning phase in it and you want to learn from it so you don't keep repeating it. But it's everything, you see the silver lining. So that's what I take joy in being an end of life do because it's always something I'm learning. I'm always gaining some some some type of philosophical knowledge that makes me say, huh, well,

you're right, that's very true. Like I actually really don't need to have, you know, a closet full of shoes, you know what I mean. Actually I don't like a lot of superficial things or you know what. Every time I'm around that person I get anxiety and but but I I still put myself around that person. No, actually I don't. I don't need to be that way. Wow. I mean I feel like because that was an on time word, because both of those things like genuinely spoke

to me. Because it's like time is so precious. They say, it's some valuable of going. Once it's spent, it's gone forever. There's no rewind, there's no like bring it back, there's no no way. I mean, nature is saying yes, right, don't yes, that's it. Yeah, I guess it just shook me right now because you know, we think about going after dreams and going so hard. If your gift isn't point out like how you said you're pointing back into your the loved ones and your business. If it's not

point out, what do you have to give? Yeah? What is it all for? Right? Like that's a that's really something. A lot of people that are transitioning, that's what they put um they right, they right notes to their family like what are you doing this for? There's times that you have to ask yourself those questions, what are you doing this for? You? Your CEO um of a company? What are you doing this for then you sit there like, you know, I'm doing this because I want this life

of luxury, but what for what? Because I can be happy? Will that make you happy? And it's you're these are questions and you're like, wow, you're right, it's the simple thing because I'm like your son or your daughter would just like just rather just you play catch catch baseball in the front yard and that makes them happy. So yeah, I'm descinating in it because it sits so deep. I was just talking with another episode um with Carla Ferren. We're talking about loss and she had to do a

wake up call. She said, don just make sure you just wake up and smell the roses a bit, because sometimes the chase, chase, chase, gotta get it, gotta go, gotta go, get get get What about just being right being in the moment, And that's definitely one of the things that we are advocates on, just to be present in the moment and me like being in an end of like doulah, that's what we're able to do for families so they can be in the moment for their loved ones and so they don't have to feel the

stress and anxiety of what is happening, what's going on? No, just just be present, rest, just soaking the error and just be present and just breathe and just be positive for this whole transition, because yeah, the topic smell the flowers? Once? Should we on having these conversations with our loved ones? Now? It is now? And it's awkward because I know it's a taboo. It's so taboo to say on your first date. So what do you think about death? You know, what

do you think about that? It's so taboo, But it's really a real deal thing. Um, we have a client right now that is expecting and she's twenty four and she's literally coming. She's perfectly healthy, normal like healthy pregnancy and so forth. But the thing is she wants to get her affairs in order for the what if and so her child. She's literally making up a booklet for her child if something was to happen. She from from

birth until the child gets married. She's making a whole, a whole legacy plan of what she would like for her child and the accomplishments and things like that. So at the time is now, we never know what's gonna happen to us. So just to be prepared and have peace of mind. So you may mention a couple of times about um services that you offer. And you talked about before about having a client you were working with

was working on a legacy project. And here you're just talking about a mother who's laying out everything for her legacy project. And I understand what just in life in general, how important it is to leave a legacy because your legacy lets you know where you've been and also gives you be hindsight of where you're going, right that is you you put the nail in the coffin fun sorry, but literally that's that's really what it is. And that's

very for myself, that's very big. I like to you know, I'm very fortunate I have my great great grandmother is still alive, um right, it's such a blessing. And for her to tell me stories and I write them down. I write them down, I record them because that those are the things that get in translation. You know how in the acres of land and X, Y and c,

that that whole picture it gets lost in translation. So when it gets for me, I you know, I value that importance is so therefore I wanted to extend that service for other people because it goes beyond me. It'll go beyond her. She transitions, and that story can get lost and so the and to know who you are and to know where you came from, it makes you

feel so empowered. Let me tell you why that means so much to me because I'm thinking back on my mother's transition and I was just talking on the last episode. So if you haven't checked it out, be sure to check out the episode with Carla Farrell and talking about loss. But one thing that I made mention of and Carla said the same thing I recorded my mother asking when she met my dad, what are some of the things

that you would do? But that was me in a younger mind, trying to prepare myself because my mother died a stage for breast cancer. So it was like, Okay, do I have to know what she smells like? Um? You I have to know what what she's she's doing. So in this situation and we're talking about creating that legacy, oftentimes I think we forget to ask those questions. And I'm so glad with your services. Is that that puts it on the forefront, right right, correct? We put it

on the forefront. We start with you know, we start with basic questions or basic templates of how do you want to leave it? Do you want it to be an audio recording, do you want to a manuscript? Do you want to write it? Do you want it to be a visual um? How do you think it will be best translated? We go, we start from there and

it becomes its own individual beauty. Every legacy project that I've seen has been super unique and supertailored towards the family that it was going to be delivered to, and you know it's and it's looted for me. I look back and I'm like, wow, that's a good gift. To have a good gift, because there's gonna be great, great grants that have never met there aren't. But know that she was like a rock star in her prime. And

sometimes I think we're rushing. You're young. You're not thinking about what your mother used to do with your dad, or that quirky story, or maybe why you walk like that, or perhaps how your family got you know, to wherever part of the world. Um, different traditions that you may

want to know. And I just appreciate your line of work so much because if you've ever lost someone, these are things that are important but you don't think about, nor do you have the capacity to wrap your brain about what's happening, but to know that there's someone there to say, Hey, I know this process, and I want to make sure, as you stated that you're at peace with your decisions, you're at peace spending time with your loved ones. You're at peace knowing who you are and

where you're going. So while I can pinpoint and I can say those things outright looking at you, Ashley, I'm curious to know what makes your line of work so rewarding for yourself. Um, I am actually rewarded through the people in the families that Mother nature once again saying how much appreciate you. You know, here's a side of our quote. As we hear this thundering ramping in the background, and I'm so sorry, No, you're fine. Here's the thing too,

I think this conversation is going to help. And there's a quote that I stumbled across a couple of weeks ago, and it says that you know, you ask gods to grow and then it starts raining. Man, So somebody has grown with this conversation today. I resonate with that. Yes, but yeah. Wow. So what makes it rewarding for you? It's the families. It's the families and the people that are transitioning because it makes you know that life is here today and gone tomorrow. So what what are you

going to leave? What is your legacy? What? Like? What? What is actually going to leave? What? What is what are the duelas of loyal hands and life duels? What? What are they going to leave? Um r I'm appreciative of that. Um it makes me appreciate the small things. Um Like this thunderstorm. It's loud, but you appreciate the small like you can feel the rain. You can you know how people you can smell rain. It's the small intricacies of that. It's like, I take joy in because

I often I am human. I get into my rigam and row of life and I'm go go, go mode, and to slow down and say, hey, what is my purpose? Am I serving my purpose? Am I? Am I executing

my purpose? And and you know, am I fulfilling? These are questions you start to ask yourself and and for me, creating loyal hands the end of life Duela's it helps to help me in the journey to fulfilling a purpose, absolutely, and I'm just thinking, I'm like, wow, just as you talked about how in time it is when you're talking about the baby boomers and why they can see this as a reality. But I'm just curious to myself, you being a millennial, have you made your plans? Are your

are your affairs in order? I have you? You can't? You know, right? And I had to have this conversation with my family so that that itself was like, wait a minute, are you trying to tell us something? But no, this is a real dealt thing because I never know. I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, later on less than today. So I can't ask other people to get there the affairs in order if mine aren't. So I had to bring that conversation to the forefront for my family.

We have the conversation, and it sparked other things, um from other family members to now join in and say, hey, I kind of want to get mone together too. So I'm like, you never know what's gonna happen. Like so to speak, we have uh they're called awakes. Um. It's for when the person is they're still cognizant, and we have a party. So to speak, it's like a party, so to speak. So they are it's they're awake. So you have everybody come and it's like you give your

you give them their flowers. Why they can still smell them? Oh wow. So you can have you have people speak on you know, and that you can hear them speak on how they, you know, felt about your eulogy, so, so to speak, you can. You'll have that while you're still alive, and people can enjoy your presence and things like that. And it's taking away the stigma of death. It's taking away that that power that death has over people, and it's making it very trivial because it's like I

have control. I'm having a party right now. I know that I'm gonna be transitioning, but I'm going to enjoy it all. I still have my power. That was so beautiful it is, and you and everybody they come together, you can and that the funny part is you can hear the people they say, you know, they say they're speeches, and then you can also evaluate. You're like, hey, you know what Mike speak wasn't as good as I thought it was. I'm gonna actually mark him off my list.

So the look like she's here for my money. So I'm right home. I'm again redrafted my will right quick, some amendments really quick. Get Oh, it takes away that fear because because I was as you said that, I was like, oh my gosh, that's so uncomfortable. So it's like, oh my gosh, I'm looking at you knowing that you're gonna die. But again, we're not here forever. And that's why you gotta charge at the moment, right And it's a It's a celebration, right, and that's what the whole

thing we try to make that mindset. It's a celebration. We are celebrating life. Um, because right now, I said, what's their society's we don't talk about death. It's taboo, we don't talk about it. It's it's a known fact. But traditionally an indigenous tribe like death is a celebration. We immortalize in in dying because we take it and we make it a whole week celebration of the life

of the person. So yeah, it's definitely a spectacle to see when people actually embrace the fact that they are transitioning and take power into that whole aspect of mystery. But incorporating happiness with it right, almost as if you're you're you're transcending onto your ancestors, those who have came before. It's like a graduation. It's your graduation party. Like when you put in this aspect of when you're going leaving high school and you're going to college and you don't

know what's gonna happen next, it's foreign. Something came over my spirit. You said it's a graduation. And when we think, uh, come on, you said, it's a situation. What we have to think about, what is the degree that you're receiving. Did you complete it right? Did you live it out right? What were you going after? Ashley? Oh my gosh, I appreciate you. Thank you. So what's nuts for loyal hands?

What do you hope for this to grow into? Um, honestly, I'm My hope is to really just to bring death into the mainstream topic because a lot of people were not talking about it and it gets brushed by the wayside. A lot of things happen. Your funeral gets planned after you die, and some things you're not really you didn't really want, you know, Sometimes people they plan a really

gaudy funeral for you. But you're actually a minimalist. So for to really continue the death positive movement, and that's like to aim to bring awareness to to rethinking your whole death experience. I have the whole aspect of you want to live well and you want to die well. From me, there's a disparity on living well. So therefore I try to break the disparity to make sure everybody,

all inclusive, can die well and everything is respected. Down from confidentiality, down from you know, handling different affairs to dealing with family members, wow, from planning organizing your funeral and you know, the whole legacy project, and you're from helping your errands around the house. A lot of people when they're transitioning, they feel like they're burdening their family. They're like, oh, my family has to sit here with me all day all. My family has to clean up

behind me. And it's like no, no, no, no, you'd be I want. I'm here for you to be present. You're taking the little things with your family, to drop little jewels or what have you been taking the moment look at you know shows or what have you. So yeah, no, no, you're definitely fine. I appreciate everything you're saying, because that's real and it's time, especially what's happening right now. You know a lot of adjustments are being made because of

COVID nineteen. This whole prodemic has people thinking. But it's having you face reality that you got to spend time with stuff. What do you want because you can walk outside and something that you cannot seek and totally defect

the whole transition or trajectory of your life. Right And so while you know this conversation has definitely been about the transition and the end of life, there is something that I'd like to say, kind of like a phoenix, you know, a phoenix goes down only to come back up. And as you transition out of this life, or as as we all will one day, we're gonna be rising into something else. And as we prepare this this bridge, I'm curious and I would love to hear from you Ashley.

As you know, this podcast is called Vitamin Day. You know, it's all about shutting light into people's lives, and I think you've done that. We're talking about how this whole transition of life is and a different perspective and why it's important for the person that's experiencing or about to go through the duration of the transition, but those who

are the loved ones who are witnessing it. So as we are talking about vitamin D, as I talked to you about the life bank account, what dose of inspiration, what deposit can you make in someone's life bank account right now? About how to look at life, about what your business can do, about who you are as a person. When the when people say that life is really precious, it really is, and it's years today and gone tomorrow.

Now when I to deposit something into um their account, is that to enjoy the simple things, And I get it, the perspective of what's simple to you? What's the perspective perspective berries, But to be true to self as well, because that's a lot lot of times I do hear that, um, And I'm learning to be true to self, unapologetically yourself and not what somebody wants or expects of you, because it's your life. And UM, wow, that is that is an awesome question, because it was Yeah, I'm like life

is a pope process. It's life is a process, and so it's and death is an aspect of life. So to look at death is grin Like when people see me and any other end of life dou lah, you will notice that we have an abundance of energy as like super positive because you know, like we take an account that we deal with death and dying on a on a daily basis, so just too just to have that positive energy and positive spirit about oneself and that's what I to carry on with. Loyal hands are dualists

to make sure that you have crappy days. But remember what we are doing this for. Like and even when our families and their their love was transition, we also mourn. We like you know this because we've become attached and we do have to take ourselves away and and meditate

and things like that, like we are human as well. Uh. But to put into somebody's life deposit is that life is really precious and don't take do not take it for granted, even on your worst day, don't take it for granted, because somebody would love to be in your shoes, no matter how small and cramps you think your shoes are. Somebody wants to be there because they are less fortunate. It's in the worst worst position than you are. And

that doesn't always mean a financial situation. Just that could be everything in the world and they don't have any more time they're sick. Is crazy in itself, but guess what, it's adjusting the vision. You're starting to see things a little bit more clearly. Right. Actually, if someone is interested in learning more about your your your organization, if they'd

like to follow you, where can they reach you? They can reach me at loyal Hands as loyal dotch hands dot com on Instagram loyal dot hands love it, love it, love it. And is there anything that we can check

out or anything else we should look out for from you? Um, definitely, I'm working with Loyal like Arduel is here at Loyal Hands, to really put a positive spin on the whole death the death movement to actually help people feel more in control of of the process of death and dying and take away that stigma of negativity with death and dying because it's heavy. It's a heavy thing to to take over. Um, But at this moment we're just literally plumming through to

take up be death positive. Yes, death positive. You can't be death positive unless you're living life positive. Actually, I want to thank you so much for speaking with me today, educating on me shedding some light on me and so many of the Vitamin D listeners about the importance of living life which results in the transition and end of life. Thank you, no, thank you for having me uh on

here like take that. Thank you seriously for having me on your podcast to talk about end of life, um, to bring light of the services of end of life and that this is something that people of all ranges can benefit from. And thank you, no, thank you so much. And you know, I hope that you got something out of this to understand how precious life is worth in the living now and how important it is to live

while you're still alive. You got purpose. Every day. You have forty eight thousand six chances to live your best life. So live on purpose right now. And if you want to get more information about Ashley and what she does, make sure you visit the website loyal dash Hands dot com. Ashley continue to do the work. Thank you for being an instrument, but more importantly, thank you for your dose of depositing into the Vitamin D account today. Have a

great one. Thank you. Wow, I would have never even thought of that, but I'm so grateful that I'm aware now and I look back when my mother died, that Ashley or organization companies such as Loyal Hands would have been so beneficial because there's so many questions that you have that you don't even know to ask. There are resources that you don't even know to access. There are

uncomfortable conversations that are better had just being uncomfortable. So I hope that this conversation was as eye opening for you as it was for me when I was having it. And you know, when I was speaking to Astley, I really saw younger me, someone who knew from an early age that they had something different and then later turned that something into a vision that could help others. And I think that's what life is about. That's what this

conversation was about. It's about walking in your truth, and it's about living your life because you don't know when it's over, and that whole different perspective of what it means to live your best life right now and treasuring that things are so important. You know, I just can't wait to have her back on the show. There was

just so many great jams. As we move forward in these trying times, I think it's important that we remember that we continue to make deposits in our life bank account and if that means to go exercise and do that schedule out your life, make a plan, Call your parents, your family, your loved ones and just tell them that you love them. All of these small things add up to big achievements in your life, believe it or not.

And if you want a million, you gotta start a team, So why not start within You like what I did there? But no really, if you did enjoy what Ashley had to say and you want to learn more about her organization, I want to encourage you to follow or check out loyal dash hands dot com as well as on Instagram at loyal dot hands and on Facebook at loyal Hands All on work as always, you can catch us where you get your favorite podcasts every Monday with more inspiring

conversations and insights. And if you're looking for more Vitamin D in your life, you can also follow me at Dawn day Speaks on all social media. Again, that's Dawn d a I speaks on all social media. And until next time, always remember you are your greatest asset,