Know Yourself, Know Your Worth (w/ Shirley Strawberry)

the Steve Robbie Morning Show, Miss Shirley Strawberry. This is the past you chose, or the past that chose you, however you want to look at it and you deal with what comes with that. This is something that is calling you. You can't do anything but this. Shirley has been a mentor of mind since I started working with the Steve Harvey Morning Show back in December seventeen, and since then she's been like a source of wisdom and insight and being an advocate for my growth and me

shining my life. She even gave me the nickname Loving Life. So you know what's real and what don't want you to understand too, is that I've dreamed of being on the radio since I was a little girl in high school. And to have the opportunity to be mentored by the likes of Shirley Strawberry, who has been on air probably as long as I've been on this earth, well, that's

just God. I hope that this episode serves as a mode of inspiration for you that anything is possible as long as you believe and you are willing to put in the work. All you have to do is take the first step to living out your wildest dreams. Dive in as Shirley talks about what it seems to be a woman in radio, sacrifices she's made as a mother, being a domestic violence survivor, and the importance of asking the torch as for her infamous quarantine sandwich. I have

no parts of that. So without further ado, it's time for your dose of vitamin D D right with me and get excited. Hello, Mr Strawberry, Hello with love and life. How are you well? Shimmy over here because I am at talk it's a fish stop Verry. How you doing well? Thank you? I am I'm safe, I'm healthy, I'm doing well. Inside of the house. Um, you know that could be a challenge. We all know that. Sometimes I like being inside. I'm a homebody. I just you know, when you're forced

to do it, that's something different. I mean, although you know things are opening up and we can get out, but I still stay in as much as possible, you know, I do, And when I go out, I'm definitely in my mask right right right. But it's interesting I think like even wearing the mask, I feel like I'm being suffocated a little bit, like I'm just being hell bag. Oh yeah, you do, especially if you have that rebellious spirit. You know, it just flares up anyway anyway with any

kind of constrictions or restriction. Do you feel that anyway in your spirit? But you know you just have to repress it. It's going to be over. God is gonna pull us through. We're gonna be te you know. Yeah, I do think so. But I do think a lot of people need to be smart and and about what's happening around this. But then also, you know, take this moment of why you have to stay at home to figure out what's going on with you, and you to figure out whatever your dreams and aspirations, who are you?

Because a lot of people are scared to see themselves surely. Well, you know what when when COVID nineteen, the quarantine and everything first started, you know, everybody was like, Okay, this is it. You know, I'm gonna uh start on this new program. I'm going to work out, I'm going to eat right. You know a lot of people do that. I'm going to see what, you know else is along the journey. I'm going to find my purpose and all that. And after about a month or so, I discovered my purpose.

What's going from the bedroom to the living room, watching my Netflix shows, catching up on all the Hulu shows. That's my purpose apparently, because that's what I've been doing. That's what I have discovered. It a new sandwich. I'm gonna put you on. Okay, come on, come on, give it to me. Give it to me. Raisin bread, not any old kind of raised bread, pepperage farm race. We're talking with the cinnamon in it. Okay, heat it up just a smidgen, you know, put some mustard on it. Okay,

stop it, I'm done. Listen, this is listen. Listen. It gets better. Put some deli sliced thinly sliced turkey on there. Unless you're a vegan or whatever. And then olives were if you wait, listen, if you aren't into olives, dill pickles will do just fine. That's my new sandwich. Ladies and gentlemen, This is not spotsor by the Vitamin Do podcast. It's a perfect combination of sweet and savory. I'm telling you, I'm telling you get your life girl. The mustard on

top of the cinnamon raising bread. Then I'm gonna slap some turkey on there, and then you want me to put it in my mouth. And then I want you to put snow. I want you to put some olives stuffed with mementos or dill pickles. Okay, take your choice. You know, Shirley, we have been rocking for a bit when it comes to food. We we talked about the colors and textures. In fact, we have a little moment with Eminem's. Wait a minute, wait a minute, do not

do not bring up Eminem's. All right, So uh, some ladies and gentlemen, I have to tell you about my girl. Don I love her dearly. I call her loving Light because she's loving light to me. She's all about love, and she's all about that light. And and I love that about her. So Um. When she first started working um with us doing our social media on the Steve

Harvey Morning Show, we had just discovered coffee Eminem's. Coffee Eminem's. Now, I'm not talking about the regular Eminem's or anything like that. This was a new flavor, eminem said, up their game. I'm not just talking about the blue when they added the blue. This is a whole new flavor. I do not drink coffee anything like that, but it's something about those coffee Eminem's. I started off with the little bags.

Every day, every morning, I would bring them in and are Because our work schedule is so crazy, we eat whatever whenever. Okay, we eat you know, breakfast for dinner, and dinner for breakfast and snacks in between all that. So every morning we would eat Eminem's. And the bag just started getting bigger and bigger. And I would just sit there during the show four hours and just eat those Eminem's because I love them. I was addicted. And

John walked as to me. She looked over in my seat one day she was in there taking pictures and she said, Wow, it's amazing. I won't she eat those every day? And it's amazing that you never gain a pound just sitting fabulous every day? Not one pound? Okay, like how every day? Not one pound? Mind you, she only saw me sitting down because one day I think I got out of the the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I was like, oh my god, Donna's

cursed to me. I think I must to gain ten pounds in my hands, you know, that's my area, my kids and thighs. I was like, I haven't eaten them since done, I have not put them down. I have not eaten them since. And I was addicted to him, but I want to say thank you because you're part of your loving life. That light bulb went off in my head because I've never even thought about I could

gain weight because I ate a full big bag. Okay, wait, wait, wait, let's be clear, we're not we're They had the personal size bag, then they had the king size bag. Then you go get to the theater bag. The size but this is like the the warehouse size bag that can that can fit like twenty people, and it would just every to the fact. I jumped on board and I said, you know what, let me gift you some Eminem's and

I love you for that. That must so good. But I have not eaten them since because just sitting they're eating them. You don't think about it because it's just one, you know, at a time, and stuff. You can't stuff a whole bunch of them in your mouth. But during that period, I don't know what's it, six months or so, I think I must have gained about all that sugar and chocolate. It was a lot. It was a lot. But you know, to a story Eminem's where my like

my favorite childhood candy, penut Eminem's. I'm not so much as the coffee kind of girl, but pen Eminem's. And then I used to pair it with um, whoo baby, some plain lays chips perfect. What you say, Charlotte, what you say? They go with everything. That's what I ate with my Raisin brand turkey mustard, and I'll have sandwich some chips on the side, lays of course. Okay, So I thought, okay, we're gonna leave the sandwich along because I'm still trying to say how alive? But if you

want to, you you got Shirley strawberries a sandwich. Don't say that I told you. She told you about it. Okay, it's good. It's good because you run out of stuffy eat You gotta be creative. When you're in the house for this many days, you have to be creative. I mean, or because I was tired of eating period at that point, so I just try this. I never had that problem. Can I say, though, you look beautiful. Your skin looks beautiful, your teeth are white and beautiful, You're you look amazing.

I hadn't seen you in a minute, so it's good to see you, honey. That conversation that we had um right before you left, we had a conversation on our walk, and I said, surely, first of all, I am so grateful that we had our moment to chit chat because that's pretty much what I want to talk about, just

being a woman in radio and having those mentors. And you said to me, I'm telling you all of my aspirations, and you're saying, well, Dawn, you know, you gotta make up your mind what it is that you want, and you have to be a reflection of that and being so that if I'm all about loving life and I'm speaking life into people, when was the last time you

checked in with Dawn? Because by then you I gained some weight, you know, and and just being president enough in authority because you said, how many people are you telling that you want your podcast too, that you want to be on air. No one's gonna step to you and and ask you that. But here's the thing, Shirley, that's not the first time you got into my heart. The first time you got into my heart was when

I first started working with the show. And it was probably within that first week I went to the doctor and I found out that I had a blood clot in my leg. Oh wow. And when you reached out and you just said to check in and say, how are you doing? If you're okay? Because imagine this is like, right before I started working with you guys, I had I wasn't working. I was on a bike getting around so and then to be at the level of working with you guys, and I'm like, I have this element,

and then that's the whole thing. You know. My mother died when I was younger. That's when you want to tell Mama, like, Mom, I got this dime and oh my gosh, Mom, I got a blood clot in my leg. Hold on, Shirley, you my dad died of a blood five. So the fact that you yeah, when I was three months old, he passed away from a bloodhouse. So it was like your dreams and and fear of life are

hating all at once. But I think that's the journey and that's the process that we need to talk about when you're going after your dreams and balancing your relationships with your husband, your partner, whether or not you have a family, and then also being a woman enough to balance it with yourself and dealing with other women. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, but that's just part of life now, isn't it. You know, no one said this was going to be easy. No one said that it was going to be a

cakewalk or walk in the park any of that. It's you know, this is the past you chose, or the past that chose you, however you want to look at it, and you deal with what comes with that, you know, because this, this is something that is calling you that you can't do anything. You can't do anything but this, but this is it. So you have to deal with those things, and it's how how you deal with them. Uh. You know, you can choose to deal with them in a complaining way, in a you know, a self pity

way or however you want to look at it. But you know, you have to understand and realize that you're gonna have to deal with it if this is the craft and you're chosen profession, and deal with it and try to deal with it as gracefully as you can. I mean that, that's all we can ask. Gracefully as you can, you know, because you do want to try and leave a legacy, you do, and you're not necessarily thinking about that when you first get into it, of course,

you know, leading a legacy and all that. I mean, I can say that because I've been in it for so long and you know, I don't know how much longer I'll be in it, but yeah, I've been in it for a long time. I'm much older than you, and I accept that. I'm cool with it because that too is a part of life. You know, it is what it is. It just it is it is. And consider the alternative, you know, you're even here dealing with it, or you're dead or something, right, And and that's how

I look at it. That's how I look at it. And I had such great mentors and great women to look up to, and I just want to pass that along as much as I can. And you know, you're just so sweet and just so love and lighting that you know you're a perfect candidate to do that with. So it's just how you deal with things because life is always going to throw you something and you never know what it is. So it's how you deal with it. So let's talk about it. Um, about it, love and life.

That's what let's go down in a little bit. If you like, you know I am and I love Um, I guess what I was thinking about. Even furthermore, you know, you look at the aspect of going into radio and finding these mentors and making sure that you you deal with what it's like to be a woman in radio, and it's it's one thing, sure Lee, to say that

you started in a radio to eighties. It's a different thing for it to be and you're still here now, not just so much as how radio has changed, but the dealings that a lot of people don't tell us that you have to deal with. So when you're talking about, you know, being the woman in radio, did you have aspirations where you felt like you wanted to leave at times? Like why are you here? Um? Okay, I'm here? I'll answer that first, because I'm still relevant, you know, Thank

the good Lord. Um, people still want to hear what I have to say. I still mean something to some people, you know, who've been listening to me for a long time. Um, that's why I'm still here. I still enjoy what I do every day. I mean, it's fun to get up every day and have a job that you like, especially during these times. I mean this, this is considered an essential profession. So you know, I'm going to take that seriously, um, which means I have something to give. I have something

to provide. You know. People have to get their information, uh, their entertainment, their laughs, their news, things like that that we provide on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. They have to get that. So that is my job. That is my job. That's why I'm still here, uh to answer you know, to answer your question. And I think you asked me where there are times when I wanted to leave, right, And it's based on just the way that you cared as a woman. I don't think that a lot of

people really talk about that enough. And you may mention of handling things gracefully, you know, I think it's tough and a lot of professions for women, not just this one. When I started out many years ago, um, it definitely was a man's profession, meaning that most men had the morning talk shows, most men had the afternoons. They were jobs, they were this, and if you were blessed enough to get a job in radio, man or woman, the man still you know, made more than you, even if you

guys did the same jobs and things like that. You know, that's just the way it was back then. A lot of times. It's like that now. You know, men make millions. A lot of men make millions and several hundred thousands of dollars. But you could probably count the women on your hands that make in the millions in radio things like that, or that even lead their own morning shows and stuff. You know, women back when I grew up, they may have done the midday show, or they may

have been at night or something like that. But morning drive and afternoon drive is the way it was situated um then and still is a little bit now. Um, those were those were relegated to the men. That's how it was, I guess when I first started on. It's still a little bit like that now, but more women are getting their shows and more women are showing up for sure. You know, people UM want to hear from the women as well as they want to hear from

the men exactly. And so thinking of that, did you ever have aspirations and do you have aspirations now of being the first chair or the lead of the show. Well, it's a lot of responsibility, um, to to be the lead of the show, and I welcome that. I don't mind that, UM. But I like it the way it is. It's cool. I like it the way it is, um. You know, I I think it kind of works for Steve and I. Um, We've been together almost twenty years. You know, I've worked with some of the greatest men

in the business. I've worked with Tom Joyner, um, who um just had a stroke recently, I read and yes, definitely, And I've known Tom along very very long time. Yeah, and I think he's recovering and uh, he's you know, he's okay. But it was it was mild, but um, you know, my prayers of course go go out to him as a colleague in the busines since as a friend, I work with the late great Doug Banks um out of Chicago. UM. So I've worked with some great people,

and I was always in this in this position. It's kind of like I guess I liken it to don a a doctor, a male doctor, and a female nurse. You really know how the nurses. She could do what the doctor does, but you know she's she stays here, holds up the doctor, supports the doctor, and when he says scalpel, she passes in the scalpel because he's into what he's doing. If he reached for it, he might pick up something else. So she's there to make sure he's good and that and that's fine. I don't think

it think of it as a subservient, subservient role. I just think of it as a supporting role. And that's fine with me. That's okay, and that makes sense. And I think that's where it's like one of those things that even when I heard coming up in life in the business about playing your position, and it necessarily isn't okay. You're belittle and you can't do anything more but be excellent at what you do and make sure it's your

piece fits the puzzle. And I think a lot of times, like you know, being younger, coming up, you just say I want to do this, and I want to jump in this and say, wait a minute, little baby, sit down, test the water, see what it feels like, see where you fit, and then work your move. Yeah, just work your move. If that's what you want to do, then do that. And I've had my own shows before. I've

definitely had my own shows. I've done. I mentioned like the midday show, the seven and midnights, I worked afternoons. I've done almost every shift in radio, come and think, every single shift, So I've done that. I enjoy the ensemble. I enjoy playing off people in different personalities and things like that. I just do it keeps you alert, it keeps it more fun. You know. Um, you get to use an array of your mental abilities, of your talent if you have any, you know, stuff like that. So

I like that. It's like being at home at a dinner party, you know or something, or you know, just having friends over for dinner. I like that. I love being around people. My mom um was a person that loved company. She just loved having her house full of people and laughing and talking and cooking grape food and all of that. She loved that. So I think, you know, I'm in that way much like her, because I love being around a lot of people, you know I do now Now, I love being around a lot of people.

But I may not always be the most talkative one, the life of the party like I once was, because that's what I do for a living now, so I'd rather sit back and you know, let them entertain me and she'll for a while. You want to see what I mean? Yeah, I hear you all say so with that and coming up and you realizing where your position has played. When I think of being a woman and coming up in this business, it takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of guts, It takes a lot

of balls, and it takes a lot of time. Time and balancing a relationship and having aspirations to have children and start a family. What's your journey been like as far as relationships, marriage, children? How do you balance it? No? Because my friend and I like we talk about that. She has a daughter and she's on a morning show. You think about childcare is sacrifice? Okay, And that is the key word that I use all the time. Um.

I'll say this, um, and I said it earlier. You know, it's hard in any field, but this in particular because we are performers. In that sense, we have to give of ourselves physically to do our job. It's not heavy lifting or anything like that, but it's mental, you know, and you have to stay focused, and you have to stay alert, and you have to know what's going on in the world, and you have to, you know, keep being mindful of the clock, and you know, on all

these different personalities and all of this. Then when you get off from there, then you have a husband, then you have a child, and you you know, you have all these things. So I say, for one, you know, get a good support system. And in my case, it was my mom. When my daughter was growing up, it was my mom. And that was my sacrifice because of the way I worked, in the hours I worked, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't do it, and I didn't do it. That was my sacrifice. My mom helped

me raise my daughter. Um was it the best thing? I thought so at the time. I thought so at the time. I don't know now if it was the best thing, but at the time, it was the best thing for my daughter, and I made that decision. I made that sacrifice. Now, if you ask my daughter, of course, she may say something different. I missed my mommy and things like that, and that's what I'll have to live with.

And that's the guilt that I carry because she wasn't there with me every day and I didn't raise her, you know, like in a normal let's say, normal household, like perhaps you were raised or I was raised or something. But yeah, that was my sacrifice that. Um my mom was instrumental in helping me raise my daughter. Now I was married at the time, but about three or four years into my marriage, um we decided to separate and

eventually divorce. So and then my mom really was the only one that helped me with my daughter at the time. So when you say help, would she would take your daughter to school pick her up? What do you exactly mean by that? My mom lived in Arkansas. I lived in l A at the time. So my mom would stay like six or eight months at the house with me. Then she would take shared in with her for like four months or six months, and you know, I would

go on birthdays and holidays and things like that. I don't like to talk about this because I don't know. I'm not proud of it, and as as a mom, I feel guilt and all moms will tell you that they feel guilt about something in their lives when it comes to their children. And this is my mom and guilt. But yeah, so that's what I mean. My mom would help me in that way. And then when Sheridan became old enough to go to school, she went to school in Arkansas, where my mom lived. And then uh, Steven

in in the guy's laugh about this. Um but um, Steven, Steve, you know I've never heard author said Stephen. I was like, step this is just something that came up so once. So then Sheridan decided she wanted to come and live with me. So she was a little older now, so it was easier for me to be able to, um, you know, take care of her. I got a nanny and that was going well, and Shardon was living with me.

Her father and I were thinking about, you know, maybe trying to uh see if our marriage could work again. That didn't work out. So anyway, Shardon was there and then, um, one time it was Christmas. I would always spend Christmas with them. Are our Christmas vacation and shared and decided when we went from l A back down to Arkansas, she decided that she wanted to stay. She was like, Mommy, I think I want to stay. That's exactly how she

said it. And the reason I brought up Steve is because they would tease me about that all the time, because you don't cook. That's why, you know, they would tell me all about those things. They would tease me all about that. But the first thing you said was recommending a sandwich, ladies and gentlemen. But anyway, so, um, anyway, so she decided to stay, and she stayed from that point on, and she would just come back with me for the summers and I would go with her for

holidays and vacations and things like that. So, uh, you know, if there's a I don't know, a black mark in my heart or something, you know that that's my mommy guilt. That is my mommy guilt because I didn't raise her, uh in a normal household. And um. But anyway, I think she turned out pretty cool. But I think I think that's amazing that you share that and you say that because you know my friend she's dealing with that

right now. Like that's something that I think about, Like I can stay up all night and it's like I do need to figure out that balance because I gotta make room for what's to come, you knowlutely, and we do the best that we can with what we can.

And that's the that's the thing that stood out. And I think when we talk about being a boss and being Shirley Strawberry and radio, you know that that's something that comes with the title, with the weight of being that best voice, because there's a whole life that made Shirley Strawberry who she is. And I think about the fact that humility of when people just say I want to be on there and just say I wanted to

do you know what it really takes do you? And and and you know, if somebody were to veer and to look in the situation of oh, she should have been there with the child, but who's to say that you would have been the best use so you and get that to her. Absolutely, I had plenty of naysayers and people who judged me, you know, but I had a lot of support to I'm not gonna lie about that. I had a lot of support, you know, and I

thank God for that too, um my mom physically. But but I have very good friends saying, you know, sitting me down and like putting their hands on my shoulders and looking me in my eyes saying, look, you're doing the best that you can right now for this baby. This baby is fine. Doesn't this baby look happy? This baby is fine. She's okay, you know, she she's fine. And and she was, she was fine. I know she missed me and I know that. But um, it is

what it is. That's what happened. And you know I only had that one and I do the best by her that I possibly could do. And that's all you can ask. All you can ask, you know, that's all you can ask. I mean, life isn't perfect. You know, you get you get dealt with things that you have to deal with and you deal with them the best way you can. And with God's help, I did the best thing I could at the time. But yeah, you

do you have to make and women do. We do have to make choices a lot in our lives, whether it's kids, whether it's you know, getting married, moving around you know radio, you move around a lot of radio. You move around a whole lot. You have to. Um, we don't do it as much now, but um, yeah, we moved from l A to Atlanta back to l A. But you know, uh, New York. You know, we we move around a lot. You know, these are some of

the sacrifices that people don't know that you do. You have to set up in a whole new city, get a new apartment, get a new house, you know, change all your addresses. You you have to do all it started all over again. But I guess that's the journey. That's part of the process. And you've you've met some pretty amazing people and your your journeys. Oh absolutely absolutely,

and and and and dating it. And I noticed like, well, you've gotten a plusthor of awards and I was on a to be there when you received your Gracie Awardeen

like wow, my love and my life. But you know, with that, when you think of someone that has resulted in triumph, we have to look at anything like in the yang, whether it's life that's dark, and you know, we talk about the different things of experience and in life, whether it was you know, balancing motherhood, balancing dealing with um, working with various men and actually just stating your voice.

There's another thing that I think is amazing that's part of your story that I've heard you touch on it a bit and I'm sure can save a lot of lives. Is that being a domestic violence survivor? Oh? Yeah? And when I say this, I say this in a sense of really inquiring, how can you easily find yourself involved in something like that? Because somebody can easily say, oh, you should have known better. You're supposed to be leading women.

It's like, but I'm a human just like you. I'll put it like this until you know, like recently in my life, UM, I've never had a good relationship with a man. I just never did. I never did. I never had uh good self esteem. But I didn't know that that's what it was at the time. That I didn't know my self worth at the time. Um, I didn't know that. Um, you know, there was a better way. I just thought this was the way it was. I mean, I was always a pretty girl. I was always a

smart girl all that. But I knew that I was cute and smart. But so what knowing it and not knowing what to do with it are two different things. You know. I didn't grow up with the dad my dad. You know, you said your dad died when you were very young, So did mine. My dad died when I was a year old. So I and my mom as beautiful as she was never remarried. That's my story. And part of that, I don't know if this is your

story too. See, see we have so much alike. But part of that was because my brother he never wanted oh no, no, man could come in my house and talk to my mom without my brother being in the middle of the conversation. Literally, So she never remarried. Um, and so I never had like male role models. The closest thing I had to a dad, And I talked about that in the book I wrote a few years ago. Um was my uncle Strawberry letter book, and that's what

she's talking about, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, and it was my uncle, my one of my mom's brothers. I had like seven uncles and we lived very close together. And he was the closest thing. He was the one that got me into reading and enunciating and getting into words. He was that one you know that you say if you had a male role model or a mentor. He was that for me. He would always like for me to read to him, and I didn't know what that meant.

You know, here, take the paper, read this, what does that say you know all that, and so so he was that for me. But I didn't have like, like I said, my mom stayed single, so there was no man in the house. I didn't know what to do. All I knew is that when when all of her brothers and my uncles came over, they would always feed the men first. When we had big dinners and stuff, that would always make sure the men were fed. So that's the kind that's what I saw. That's the kind

of a woman I was. You know, if I if I did my chance cooked dinner, I would always serve him his plate first, you know. So because that's all I knew. I didn't know anything else. So I would always get into these relationships with with They didn't start off bad, but um with bad guys because what I allowed them to do to me because I didn't know my worth and I had low self esteem. So when did you find yourself? Um in an abusive relationship? Was it just once? Was it twice? Or the guys that

I dated? I met him in Chicago, and uh, cute guy, really cute guy, but just an abusive guy, just abusive. He was just abusive. It didn't start off that way. It started off we were both, you know, queue together. We like to dress, we liked fashion, we liked all of that. And then one day when things didn't go the way he thought they should go, then he started hitting on me. And then, you know, he would be so remorseful afterwards, and I believe the lie that he

said that it would never happen again. It was just a vicious cycle. I mean, people who have been in abusive relationships will tell you, you know, they make you think that it's your fault. Why did you make me do that? You know, all this kind of stuff. So it's just a messed up relationship. Were you on the radio at the time, were you, Oh, yeah, I've gone to work with you know, black eyes, and I still have started, but you know, covered with makeup and stuff

or dark glass or whatever. Oh yeah. And I was very very young, very young, maybe twenty two, twenty three, something like that. I was really young when these things started happening. So finally I got away from him. How how did you get away? Did you tell people? Yeah? I finally had to. It was in a scape. I told my brother. My brother said, look get out of here. Now. He helped me get out of there. Now he lived

in Chicago. I was in Dallas at the time. If you don't, I will come down there and I won't say what my brother said. But anyway, yeah, that's how I did. I had to plan and escape. I had to have someone that I worked with um take me, you know, arranged to take me to the airport. I just left out the next day as if I was going to work. I packed my bags in secret after he went to sleep, because we lived together at the time, and I just said, okay, you know I am while

he was still sleep. I took my bags and put them out in front of the apartment, and then I just went back in and got ready and put my clothes on, took my bags, got in the car, and went to the airport. And then when I didn't come back home that night or the next night, then he knew something was wrong. And that's how I got out. I mean, I escaped. That's the the short version, the edited version, but that's basically it. I escaped and was

that was Now. You know, it's so easily that I think we can be in a seat of judgment we're not experiencing it was that the only relationship that you were in that was abusing. No, I was in one more and it didn't happen a lot, which one time is too many, we know that. But I was in one more and then I finally it's finally started clicking to me that hey, something is wrong with this, and you know, is it me? Why do I keep repeating this pattern picking the same kinds of guys? You know.

So that's when I started doing so, even though I was very young, some introspection and tried to figure out what was it that I was doing. So I graduated from physical abuse to probably mental abuse, and you know, it's it's a it's a cycle till finally I started valuing me, you know. And a lot of that, believe it or not, I attribute to my relationship with Steve really, yeah, because you know, we're not just we don't just go at it on the air, you know, arguing all of that.

We're we're actually friends. You know, he is one of my male friends, and he considers me his only female friend that his wife allows. She knows. You know, we're friends. Were like brother and sister, uncle and auntie or niece or whatever, you know like that. So you know, he told me a lot about men and how they are are just sitting next to him. I learned a lot and how he treated his wife, and you know, hey, wait a minute, why have I'm not being treated like that?

You know what I'm saying. So then I realized, you know, hey, it's me. I'm allowing this to happen. You know, you're valuable, you, you you have words, you know, you matter surely. You know you have to love yourself before anyone can else can love you. You You know, all of those things you know that you've learned along the way, or that you've

heard along the way, you actually put into practice. Now, you know, it's like something clear, and I got it, you know, I finally finally got it, you know all right. And I can imagine, like that's just when I talked to some friends and be on the outside looking in,

and it's like, well, can't you see it? But you can't say that because when I've come to realize, as I've gotten older, I think I'm sort of don't make me punch you dead in your throat with love and life love, And we just started talking about talking about violence. As you've gotten older, as I've gotten as I've I've evolutionized around the sun a couple of times, I've come to realize I'm like a I can feel things and

be like an EmPATH. And I was just telling a friend the other day about another friend I was with and I was around her boyfriend. I said, something isn't adding white. How just her responses, the things, how she's checking to the point she is a telling me. But I almost wanted to call her and say, if you need someone to talk to her, I'm here, yes, And then here's the thing, just like how you said that thing of where they put on remorse, like everything's okay

or it's your fault. Oh, I didn't mean to. Even when he came into the room, I knew it. When I was in their place, I felt the energy that he projects on her. I was like, oh, this is the mind game. You would have felt that with me in that relationship as well. Yeah, you the woman will retreat and you know she will come I don't know, out of herself or something, you know, and become this

meek little yes person. You know, are you okay? And I'm checking in and and I just feel like it's just more conversation needs to have upon that, especially when we talk about the worth and the love of yourself. But here's the thing. I was looking at Mr Harvey and he was talking about his camp and he was talking about, um, you know, supporting the young man. And one of the boys said, what happens when not having the father there in that importance? But what about the

young girl else who don't have a father? Because my mother gorgeous like could have any man whatever, but my father was the love of her life. I've never seen my mother with another man. I don't know what that reaction looks like. And you know, we talk about, you know, being a successful woman and climbing up there. What about the young girls that don't know where the place of a man should be. Because I've just seen a mother that just handle it and scotten it done that. I

don't know how to let you in. It's not because I don't want you to do it. I didn't know that you were supposed to quote unquote do that or to realize how I need to let down my shield and let you do that. And it's not because I'm fighting you. It's the only thing that I know that has protected me to get through where I'm going through. Well, you know, as a mother of a daughter. Uh you know, and and her father, Like I said, her father and I divorced. Well, you have to make sure that you

know she has as many tools. Because kids know what they see. Okay, you could tell them all day, but they go by examples of what they see in the home. So you you just have to make sure. You have to do all you can to make sure that they're as secure as they possibly can be within themselves. You have to instill in them confidency. I had no confidence growing up, none whatsoever. I mean when I say none, I mean none. Surely, how do you become on the

radio with no confidence? How did you know that you were dope enough to be on the radio. You know, it sounds crazy because I just wanted it. I wanted it so badly, And you know, when I heard people on the radio, I was like, I can do that. You know, I had gone through I told you my uncle with all this reading and stuff and and all of that, was like, I can do that. But you know, you still have no confidence. I still didn't know what I was doing. It took time, you know, to develop

the style. It took time for all these things. I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew I wanted to do that. That was my passion, that was what was in me to do. And you know in Chicago, growing up in Chicago, like listening to w v O N and Herb Ken and all those fabulous people, you know guy Rustis Soul that were on the radio at the time. Uh, you know, you just soaked it all in. I just soaked it all in. I listened to the radio morning, noon, and night. And I tell this story

a lot too. That's one of the reasons I got so locked into radio is because you know we were, uh we were brought up so religious, I'll say, you know, handed down from my grand mom to my mom. Uh, you know, we couldn't listen to the radio. We couldn't listen to secular music and stuff like that. We weren't in church seven like a lot of kids were during that time, but we couldn't listen to the radio. So in the morning when my mom would leave for work,

what did you think I would do? I'd have that radio blast, and girl, it was blest to droughout the house. Thank god she never got sick and came home and caught me or anything like that. But yeah, so that's how you know, That's how I got into into one, having a love for radio. But still when I got in, I didn't know what I was doing. I just imitated what I heard on the radio, you know. And then you talk to people just like you and I have

developed a relationship. You develop relationships with people. They give you feedback, you know, um, they tell you, they give you, you know, criticism, feedback, whatever you want to call it, and you learn from there. You get better from there. You listen to yourself. You compare yourself to others. You know, a lot of people say, well, don't compare yourself, but if you want to get good, you have to listen to the greats. You have to study the great you know,

I'm a big proponent of that. You have to study. You have to watch their style. You know, every every artist out here has seen someone that they look up to that they like. They may have taken a little bit from them, a little bit, you know, and then you take that all together, put that all together and develop your own style. That's just how it's done. But yeah, that's how you develop confidence. And then um just doing it because I had none, I had no one instill

that in me. You know, my talk about this too. My thing was I was always up and all over the place, and you know, wanting to entertain and and all of that. My mom would always say, get somewhere and sit down, a little girl. Everyone has seen you. Or she would tell me. She would say, have a seat before people say it now they say it now.

She would always say get over there and have a seat, Have a seat, because she would always always tell me that because I was always up doing stuff, talking, you know, in somebody's face, you know, But I didn't know, but I learned you just so. And did you think that maybe your low self esteem or you know, in your journey let's let's look at another way and your journey of building your self confidence, did you feel as though there was something that your mother didn't provide you with

or do you think this was your own Shirley journey? Well, you know, I can't blame my mom. I I refused to do that because she taught me everything she knew to teach me, you know, So I'll never blame her for maybe not teaching me something. How could she if she didn't know it herself, you know what I mean. So yeah, so I would never blame her for that she gave. She instilled in me what she needed to instill in me. Um, you know, and those things I treasure. She taught me how to be a lady, how you

know those kinds because you need those things too, you know. Um. My mom went to school and graduated for cosmetology. That's what she did, and she did it extremely well. You know. That's what her whole thing was. People couldn't even get that. I wasn't that because my mom was so good at that. That's that's where her gift was. My mom was Our birthdays are one day apart. I'm and she was July nine, so we were very very similar. My mom's very creative.

She could cook her behind end up. That's why I never you know, people never asked me why don't I cook? But my mom was just such a She was an excellent cook. She could cook anything. And my grandmother before her as well, So I never I was always my mom Susha. There's no way I could even try to cook with I have such a genius in the kitchen as my mom. That's not what we do. I'll just make sure that the space that she has to cook in is clean and well. She has all her equipment

that I do the dish. That was my job. My job was to clean and I can clean now, do I clean? No, ma'am, because that was my job then and and that was the one reason I always wanted to get grown so I would never have to clean up. But yeah, so you know that's yeah. I will never put that on my mom because she taught me what she knew. And I think even with my mother like that was one thing just going along with you were saying.

My mother was terribly shy as a child, and it was and people used to say how attractive, And because she was so shy, she didn't want to say anything. Oh you're too good. You can't say anything. You think that you're all that. And it was like a force where my mother made sure she put my sister and I into everything you had to. She was the one

just like how your uncle. That was my mother. I went to a monastory school and she would read out of the book and she'd go into these characters and I'll look at her, why are you talking like that? So funny, don that's so funny, that's so funny. My mom could imitate anyone. She was very My mom saying and the choir. She had all these talents, but she was very, very shy as well. My mom was so

shy that she used to stutter. My mom would stutter if she got nervous, she would stutter, you know, and people when they hear me speak, it's like, but your mom stutters, you know. And she eventually got over it, but sometimes it would come back and she just could not get those words out. But she could imitate. If she heard your voice, she would she could speak like you immediately. You know. That's just how talented she was

as well. Very creative. Decorated the house all of that, and then you know, but you could never go out of the house not looking a certain way, all of that, all of that. Wait, so are you a leo? Yeah, that's a Leo thing because y'all know, y'all you're gonna make sure from head to tell my sister is July twenty six, and Charlotte does not play. Okay, So it's to the point, I want to feel better. I need a whole moment. Let me just do my hair and

do my makeup and I will sit home and be pretty. Yeah, that's so crazy, because you know how I am you know. I mean for me to even be on here with no makeup, the thing about it is is, uh, we're in COVID, we're in quarantine. But I would have put some on for you, even lashes, But I just got home right before this and I didn't have time or else. You know, I would have had the lashes on the whole nine. But surely when you're cute, you're cute, you

have it. It's just something that you know you have and it's not necessarily anything that we need to put on. You just got it. Thank you and it and it's okay. I mean, this is me. It's okay. And I love that. And I just want to say, even with that, thank you so much for being transparent in that, because I think sometimes someone would look at you and say, wow, she's a wholet of a nationally syndicated radio show. Everything

is fine. It's like no, when you talk about your dreams, there are different things that you gotta step over, step under, and pile through. That's the part of the journey, and that's the experience we go after. Well, let me say this to you. Don you know we know each other. We used to be in the studio quite a lot together, quite a bit together. Um, I appreciate the fact that you and I'm gonna, I'm gonna give you a compliment and do not do what you know you do sometimes

don't do that. I don't want to see any water. And those I appreciate the fact that you took it seriously. You know, I think you should take your job seriously. Not necessarily you're self. You know you you should be able to laugh at yourself, but take your your career and your job and what you do seriously. That's another way to be good at it. So you didn't take this situation for granted. You prepared, You knew it was coming.

You prepared. You sent me a text yesterday because you know I'm crazy and today I would be like what it was today, the interview. So you send me a text to prepare, and you know, and I like that. I respect that. Those are the ways, you know, it's sometimes those little things, those are the ways that you can grow and get better in this business. You take care of your business. You know you don't Okay, I'm anna interview show. Oh I know, Suirley, I got this.

I got this. No, you took the time, you prepared that's a good thing. So I'm just giving you a compliment. Okay, I'm giving you a compliment. I want you to reach your goals. I want you and this is a part of it, you know, just preparing, just saying, okay, what am I gonna what are we gonna talk about? We'll just flow, of course we're going to flow. But you know, you have some specific things in mind that you want to get out of me, and you thought about that.

So that's a good thing. So I want to thank you. And it's kind of like, you know, as we wrap this up, because no, no, no, it's real. But I want to be that example because I do not take it for granted. And I know that on my route i've learned different things of not because I was arrogant and just I didn't know. And I'm just grateful that I had grace and I had people like even coming and working with you guys. I did some stuff that would have pushed the limit, and thank god I got

somebody like Cat. He pulled me by the collar said listen, that's not how this rolls, and it's annoying the environment, and even coming today, surely I don't know. I was probably so nervous. And I say that to anybody that when fear comes, and it's not because I didn't know. I'm still looking at you. I admire you so much, and I want to make sure that I tell you that. I said, oh my god, I am bout to introduce

Shirley Strawberry. And they said, when fear knocks left, faith answer because the fact that you took a chance on me, you took a chance out of your day. Yes, it's it's surely regardless. Yes, you are amazing. You are a regular person. But when you have somebody that comes up in the business and you look at them and you're saying, wow, I aspire to do something similar what they're doing, and you took time on me. Mm hmm, that's what this is about, exactly exactly, that is exactly what it's about.

And and and that's why. That's why, because you know, I see your hunger, I see your you know you just you just have what it takes, I think to make it in this business. You want to go, you wanna do it, you want to go further. You don't want to just do what you wanna do it. You have that and you and it's okay, that is okay. It is okay, just like it's okay for me, you know, to say pretty soon, I'm probably not gonna I know, I'm not gonna do this for the rest of my life.

That's okay. So if I can whatever I can deposit in you, dear love and light, let me do that. Let me do that, and it's okay. And we need to do more of that. I had great mentors, you know, who became my friends. And it's okay. And if I can what what is this? What what does this take out of me to spend this time with you, to talk with you, to to answer your questions, to mentor you. I mean, that's what we need. We have to keep that going. We have to So yeah, I mean, and

that's it, pure and simple, that's just it. I don't mind. I'm having a great time. Thank you, Thank you for having me all of that. It's it's fun, you know. And I think part of that too, is I it's hard for me to look at me the way you guys look at me, if you know what I mean, it's that part is hard for me. And it's not um a false humility is it's just you know, I'll say to and it just is what it is. This is who I am, and it's what I do. So let's just do what we do. So that's how I

looked at Shirley Strawberry is a real one. They're out there and let it be know Detroit, Midwest thorough You want a real one, get you a Midwest girl. We can. We can be at the debutante and handle it in the streets and everywhere in between. Okay, you know they called me to push you one on the show, but I am I'm from the south side of Chicago. Come on, wait, is there where y'all put the hot sauce on on

the chips? Uh? Yes, thank you? And sometimes pickle juice and then the same pickle that you got the pickle juice from, you stick a peppermint in there and that boy. Okay, do not play with me, loving life, do not play with me. Listen, you're going to learn today. So it's what's next for you, Shirley. Is there any thing that we should look out on the horizon and how we can support you? Um? Yeah, but I can't tell you right now. I am working on something, something pretty big,

I am, but I can't tell you anything. I wish I could, but I can't. I I'm just scanning. I can keep it secret my T shirt. I'll look at my T shirt. Can you see that? Oh stop, Strawberry Letter. Oh yeah, oh yeah, Ladies and gentlemen, that's says Strawberry Letter. Okay, and it has a strawberry dipped in something chocolate. Yeah, okay, Okay, Well, well they can if someone wants to support you. You do have a Strawberry Letter book out now, right? Oh yeah,

it's been out for quite a while. Um. Um, I have two more books to to write, but I haven't gotten into those yet. Um. I haven't written them yet, but they're in my head as soon as I get them out. You have two more, two more, I haven't done them. Can we still purchase the Strawberry Letter book that's out now? I think it's on Amazon. I think it's still on Amazon. Yeah. Let's come out for quite a while. You may even get it for like little or nothing. Now. The book is amazing. It is a bestseller.

Be sure to check on Amazon the Strawberry Letter Book by Shirley Strawberry. Get Inspired, Get Real, Talk, Girl to girl conversation. Okay, that's amazing And is there anything else? So whom ever's listening is that you would want someone to know? What when Shirley Strawberry is gone and and and decides to hang up the headphones and cut off the mic. I know what do you want to know? Your more years left on? Don't let it. I know

you're coming up, but wait a minute now. I will be on the gig tomorrow unless the Lord says something else. But under said, when it's all said and done, like, what else is there next? Is there anything you would want somebody to know that happened to catch you on the Vitamin D podcast? May I just say this that you talked about a deposit. I consider myself a life bank account expert. Will you make deposits into your life bank account? And you're your greatest asset? So what kind

of deposits a liability? So when you said deposit, you deposited to me today, queen, and I thank you for that, the Queen of Urban a C Radio. If you don't know, you will learn today. Okay, that's so sweet. Well, John, I love you. I thank you for having me on your show. Um, I think you'll be a great success on your show on your podcast, which is just radio. Okay, it's just a radio show. You know. People think it's podcast, it's something you know, otherworldly. It's a radio show, people,

it's a radio show. And you're going to be fine at it. You're going to be wonderful and uh yeah, because you do your homework and and that's basically all it is. And you have confidence and you have a passion for it, and you know how to dig deep and get good stuff. You know you'll be fine. Yes, dig d dig seven my nails don and like whoever, I just you know, I got my eyebrows done for you, just for you, because I said I'm not gonna not step up here with eyebrows. Not done with Shirley Strawberry.

I'm looking at the hot mess. That's a lie looking good. But thank you so much, so welcome than for having me. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it, and I wish you all all all the peace, the blessings and the love and the light. Keep shining, girl, keep shining. Yes, dreams come true. You just heard Janesis baby girl talk to a legend and radio. So don't tell me that it's not possible. Whatever you want know that it's yours for the taking. Be bold with the desires of your heart.

You deserve that, and just like Drake said, no yourself, know your worth and watch how your life can go from zeo to one hund real quick. Let's go. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Vitamin D and tune in every Monday for inspiring conversations to help you get excited about your lying well. Listen for your dough survivamin D. I want you to follow me on all social media at dawnte speaks. That's Dawn d a

I speaks on all social media. Until next time, always remember you are your greatest asset.